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Mayuri: *Squinting at various DVD cases* All these are directed by David Cronenberg? Who the hell is that?

Akon, setting up the DVD player: Sir, just trust me on this one.

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(Mayuri voice) "Oh come on, I'm just here to pick up more test subjects from the morgue! I'm not even taking living patients this time! Why are you all being so DIFFICULT?! BANKAI--"

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TW: Gore, blood, impalement through body and neck

Not related to Kurotsuchi week, but hey.

Painting of St. Sebastian by Sandro Botticelli used as loose reference.

Do you ever look at your fave and go "You need to be stabbed a lot in a vaguely catholic way".

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I finished the first part of the fic last night and then basically woke up after 5 hours of sleep because my brain was like "fuck you bitch youre too excited to wait to post it. Post it now at 6am. here's some cortisol" and as a recovering insomniac, arghhhhh its frustrating that I was robbed of good sleep because of this, but its frustrating for a good, exciting reason, so I can't really be mad. It's better than having insomnia bc of depressive or anxious thoughts, which is my usual MO.

I'm super duper happy with how this fic is coming out, though. :D

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lineart WIP of Mayuri as a pincushion tee hee hee >:3c

feat. Catholic Torture Aesthetics(tm) for reference

I need to let my eyes rest so I should hopefully be finished with this in a couple of days, maybe longer if I want to attempt any rendering/lighting, which I am TERRIBLE at, so I will probs not do that and just stick to flat shading to be safe. I have also never drawn blood splatter / stains before and uhh thats going to be an adventure.

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Things that I eventually want to draw, all of which are at least a little horny in nature, and I might have to do a little figure drawing first to feel confident to tackle any of these in a satisfactory manner:

-Mayuri wearing a vintage sexy jp nurse uniform (the pink one with the white collar and buttons)

-Mayuri but with Saint Sebastian vibes (tied to a tree naked with a bunch of arrows or swords stuck through him)

-Unohana pinup but with Anatomical Venus ero-guro vibes (this image has been rotating in my head for months and months)

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I hadn't realized how much I have missed drawing, it makes my brain so happy :3. Last night I laid awake getting so many ideas that I do not have the skill or practice to properly draw just yet, but I want to try anyway and post it even if it looks wonky. I am relying very heavily on line stabilization but it's helping me be able to move my arm faster and more confidently!

I was so angry and disappointed and frustrated when I gave up drawing in 2016 in college, and I think I've grown up enough since then and matured enough to not be so hard on myself and not to take myself so deadly seriously. (I still do this with writing, though. It is hard for me to lower my own standards for my fics which is why I write so slowly... maybe i can learn how to relax in writing by relaxing first through art?)

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Early morning Mayuri, sitting at his bedroom desk, trying to wake up (he has a coffee maker in his room and it's the first thing he touches upon getting out of bed and putting on some clothes)

Do not talk to him unless he has had his coffee, or his nootropics, or his speed, or his benzos, or his--

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Mayuri going on unsanctioned solo trips to the living world in gigai for the sole purpose of re-stocking whatever hyper-specific snacks he really likes. (This is maybe before Nemu is old enough for him to just send her instead lol)

Except he's like, weirdly secretive and private about it (for whatever neurotic Mayuri Reasons you can come up with), to the point where if Rangiku puts out her "heeey, I'm going shopping in the living world in like a week, if you'd like for me to buy you something, send me money and instructions! Bye now~ <3" memo, he will just flat-out ignore it and go himself.

He figures that since anyone outside of the 12th division has never seen how he looks without paint and mods, his human-looking gigai form will give him plenty of privacy. WRONG.

Due to sheer bad luck, he and Rangiku just so happen to be in Karakura at the same time. He runs into her at a Conbini store. Rangiku I would imagine has like insane people-reading intuition skills, and she zeroes the fuck in on the very specific way civilian-gigai-Mayuri moves and carries himself etc while shes standing in line behind him at the check-out counter, and she clocks who he is, like, IMMEDIATELY.

And shes like "*gasp!* Captain Kurotsuchi, Is... is that you? >:D" and he goes RIGID in horror and he's like *Gets beet red* "...I don't know who that is. I don't know who the hell you think you're talking to. GET LOST. And don't tell anybody!!" And jogs out of the store without paying for all his snacks. He then has to run back in and awkwardly get the wallet that he forgot on the counter, then runs back out again. LMAO.

He learned after that to instead wear human gigai that look nothing like himself.

Does Rangiku blab to people after this? Probably. Maybe she tells Isshin about it and he in-turn teases Mayuri at the next captains meeting, and Mayuri gets STEAMED and starts snapping at him to stfu lol

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Mayuri as he appears in my unhinged UnoMayu fic Administer The Dagger, where he, like, JUST became captain and is starting to do his hair in weird styles, but hasn't quite reached the level of wearing hats and headpieces just yet. I like to think he would have something in between liberty spikes and a mohawk.

Oh god I also literally have not drawn a single thing in almost 10 years at this point. I stopped because I have a visual impairment, and drawing can be quite taxing on my poor shitty eyes. That's why I like writing more, instead.

But I want to doodle many more Mayuris though! Getting to draw again is so fun. Maybe the force of my love can overtake eye strain If I believe in myself hard enough 👁️👁️

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I am like two weeks late because I keep forgetting that tumblr exists, but WOW, Baby Hold Your Hand 2 was such a wonderful, touching, and very sad episode, holy moly. Pierrot put so much love and care into it, the emotional weight being pulled by the subtleties and small details in cinematography and expression and body language that both Mayuri and Nemu have throughout... it's just so good. Damn.

Child Nemu with her little training chopsticks and toy sword and the strange-looking (in a cute way) little STUFFED TOY SHE SLEEPS WITH is just!!!!!!!! and then the added "We'll show him together, you and I" line at the very end that wasn't there in the manga... just. fuuuuuck. Thank you, Kubo and Pierrot.

On a much less serious note, I have been watching TYBW with my husband every week, and during the credits he turned to me and was like "I'm just gonna say it. They made Mayuri hot after he took off the sunflower outfit. I don't know how, but they did." and I had to bite my tongue and be like "You know what? yeah you're right" in as normal tone of a voice as I could, as if that was something that I hadn't been CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT THE ENTIRE TIME. xD

He knows mayuri is my favorite but he doesn't know that this lad has officially hit Blorbo Status. I am glad he understands the vibes, though.

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Since Mayuri likes sweets, I like to think that whenever he isn't hopped up on whatever stimulant that keeps him awake for two weeks straight, that he really enjoys black coffee with a metric shit ton of sugar. Spoonful after spoonful after spoonful until it's all clumped up at the bottom of the mug. If anyone else but him takes a sip, they spit it out because it tastes sickening at that point. (Everyone except for Nemu. She would take a sip, remain completely straight-faced, and just quietly say "...this is a little sweet." while putting it back and then not touching it again. Girl's got tastebuds made of iron lol)

I like to imagine that at some point Mayuri has to go to the 1st div. to speak to Yamamoto about something, and Yama sometimes likes to discuss things over tea. So it's like.

Yama: "So, about your proposal for the 12th's budget this quarter-......." *trails off in confusion as he watches Mayuri reach into his pocket and pull out a small jar of individually wrapped sugar cubes*

Mayuri: "Yes? What?" *unscrews jar and meticulously unwraps and puts like 50 sugar cubes into his tea, one by one with his thumb and forefinger* "What is it, Commander?"

Yama: -Uh, yes, well, *Tries to continue with this meeting without getting distracted by the dozens of little paper wrappers that are starting to pile up between them on the table*

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Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Bleach (Anime & Manga) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Kurotsuchi Mayuri/Unohana Retsu Summary:

A younger, newly-Captained Mayuri Kurotsuchi struggles to gain respect in the Seireitei, as he struggles to figure out Retsu Unohana. Everything about her pisses him off. Her serene motherliness, the gently condescending way she speaks to him, all of it makes him sick.

But there's also something *else* about her, something strange and hidden that commands the respect he lacks. Everyone is afraid of her, but he doesn't know why. And for some reason, he can't stop thinking about it. ~~~ In which Kurotsuchi is too curious for his own good, so Unohana decides to let her mask slip. First a little, then a lot. HEED THE TAGS.

Putting this here for posterity since I am on a new blog and now have the freedom to be as unhinged as I want. I have never tried writing Mayuri or Unohana before and I had SUCH A BLAST. I am very happy with it!

This fic gets super toxic and gross and nothing about it is nice. It contains explicit gore and non-con, etc. Mayuri gets reluctantly put through the wringer here in a very fun and sexy way (in my depraved-ass opinion) and it provided me such an opportunity for a tasty little character study. 😋 I will never tire of writing two characters who hate each other having super-charged interactions.

And people have been sooo warm and kind in the comments and kudos and that means a lot to me!! 🥹

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My favorite thing about Ashisogi Jizo eating stuff is that design from Brave Souls (I think?) where it has a teething ring! So flippin cute. Like yes, of course this physical manifestation of a part of Mayuri's soul has a constant need for stimulation and enjoys nomming on things, enemies or otherwise, why do you ask?

Why are people freaking out over Jizo eating Pernida as if this is the first time he ate someone?😭

Lads we've seen him do it before! And im sure he was gonna do it with Uryu if he didnt blow him up that initial fight

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Because I am eternally cursed to always love rarepairs in niche situations, I have like 5 million horny feelings about a Rukia/Ichigo/Renji open relationship sort of thing, where Rukia and Renji are doms and Ichigo is the sub. I could sit with my chin in my hands while thinking about them bullying him and objectifying him and reducing him to a cute flustered mess for ages <3

I am definitely definitely going to write something for them when I have more time.

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If Kubo is drawing different bleach characters in stylish casual each week for the current TYBW run, then whenever he (hopefully?) draws Mayuri, I need, NEED for him to wear some alt-fashion mix of goth and punk clothing. GIve him a ripped black denim vest with tons of pins and a fishnet shirt with super tight pants and huge fuckoff platform boots. He needs spikes and chains and tons of facial piercings, and his mohawk shuold be done up in big liberty spikes! His face paint should stay on. Please kubo please see my vision!!!!

And Nemu needs to be in the drawing too dressed up in goth regalia!!! I would ADORE if she was drawn in gothic lolita, actually. she would look amazing in it ;w;

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Bleach: Thousand Year Blood War - Episode 1 screenshots (part 1)