slayrith

[slayrith]

Thunderbolts*

| 𝐁𝐨𝐛 𝐑𝐞𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬

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ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏʀ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢ ɪꜰ ᴜ sᴀᴠᴇ

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ

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[slayrith]

YES the Thunderbolts have a fantastic team as family dynamic, yes they are living in Avengers tower, yes history is repeating itself and 2012 tower fics are so back. BUT!

instead of "Alexei eating poptarts" or "Yelena in the vents", we must come up with new headcanons and make history

Bob always does normal domestic chores, often getting in the way of important missions and spy business. "All I'm saying is Bucky is our best sniper" "It would be a much quieter assassination if I just slipped into the condo and cut his—" "Hey sorry guys, anyone have laundry? I'm doing a load"

Yelena and her guinea pig always eat meals together at the dining table. Everyone has their Chinese food or barbeque, meanwhile the rodent is loudly munching on a salad right beside them

Bucky is the mom and always keeps them on track. "Ava you have a dentist appointment in the morning, and bring Bob so they can add him to the insurance. Lena how was therapy? Alexei, I said no vodka until dinner"

Alexei is always coming up with new promotional ideas for the team. Cartoon tv show, cereal, toothpaste flavour...every day he thinks he's come up with the next big thing. Whenever they actually get put into production (Wheaties) he collects and saves it, and won't let anyone use a different product. (He threw out Yelena's frosted flakes and it took both Bucky and John to get her to stop attacking him)

Ava likes to phase and sneak attack her teammates at random. She claims it's for training but really she just thinks it's funny hearing them scream

John gets blamed for everything, even if it isn't his fault. Especially if it isn't his fault: "who ate the last bagel?" "John." "Where's my hair straightener?" "John had it." "Whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher?" "Johnnnn"

[slayrith]

watching thunderbolts guys i <3 bob

[slayrith]

get to know ur mutuals <3

tagged by @wendibro-22 ty my love

last song: wishlist - fromis_9

favorite color: baby pink or lilac purple

last film: star wars: phantom (i'm binging star wars finally)

last show: my dress-up darling (i'm re-binging for the new season marin is so me i fear)

sweat/spicy/savory: usually spicy or sweet

relationship status: taken <3 my biggest fan i love my babygirl he's so sweet

last google search: gay birds (don't ask)

tags: @k1ssuu @princesscure @foxbbg

(i don't have many moots who were already tagged, no pressure but tysm for letting me join!!)

[slayrith]

The wash sibs have baking night (Hannah is the only one baking, Josh/Beth are just trying to eat the food)

[slayrith]

until dawn characters' sleeping habits

hi, i'm doing a lot of things irl so i haven't really posted or updated anything

ashley

always wears PJs to bed, has seasonal sets and would rather stay up to wait until the laundry is finished than wear a set that doesn't match the season

beth

sleeps with blackout curtains, earplugs and a sleep mask because she's a light sleeper

chris

can't sleep without a podcast or audiobook playing

emily

sleeps with a nightlight (because she drinks an unholy amount of water before going to bed and gets up 3 to 4 times a night to pee)

hannah

sleeps surrounded by an army of stuffed animals

jess

lights scented candles half an hour before going to bed because she needs her room to smell nice

josh

sleeps with his socks on because he usually kicks his blanket off the bed and his feet get cold

matt

listens to white noise, ASMR or music to fall asleep

mike

falls asleep with the TV on

sam

can't go to sleep unless her dog is in her room

[slayrith]

this applies to everyone in until dawn

[slayrith]

be quiet and drive (around silent hill)

[slayrith]

Hii

Can you do the UD gang finding videos of the wash sibs as babies/children and consistently see Josh fighting with one of the twins (they assume it’s Beth but they actually find out it’s Hannah to their shock-she also starts 70% of their fights)

"The idea was cute on paper," Beth said, keeping her cup close to her mouth so none of the others would see her lips moving, "I mean, I'll give Dad that much - when he said he was gonna show home movies at this thing, I guess I figured it'd be like, us making snowmen, or finger painting, or putting on a play, not, uh..."

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, LET'S GET READY FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF...GLADIATOR BABIIIIIES!" Chris announced to a wave of laughter and cheers, their friends having forgotten the buffet lunch a long, long time ago in favor of the endless reel of camcorder footage.

On the screen their dad had rigged up to the front of the garage, Josh poked endlessly at one of the twins until, fed up past the point of return, she stood up on her tiny, chubby baby legs and proceeded to beat the snot out of him with the stuffed animal she'd been holding. (Much to the roaring delight of the audience, of course.)

"Man, you were vicious!" Jess tittered as she stopped by their table to grab a drink, jokingly prodding at Beth's bicep as if to draw attention to it.

Before she could say anything to that, though, Josh - the current one, not the one scream-crying as his sister chomped onto his hand and refused to let go - shook his head and sighed, "Close but no cigar, Goldilocks, that was one of Hannah's highlights, hence the biting...always biting, that one, go figure."

[slayrith]

JOSH HEADCANNONS - ANGST

it's only one but yeah

-

for a long time josh's parents didn't let anyone over, for their sake and josh's. he wasn't stable enough by himself, let alone anyone else. after the incident on the twins passing a good portion of the group went silent, or sent "pity sorry's" because of COURSE they felt bad. they were the cause of his sisters running outside.

most of the group was quiet except for sam, and chris at least. trying to convince his parents to let them talk to him, help him. it took months maybe for them to let the two talk to josh. and when they finally did they saw how much pain he was in, his room in disarray, clothes pilled up on the floor and he was rotting away in bed. chris would talk to him, and so would sam. she would help clean his room, get him some food and help him clean himself -- because he didn't listen when his parents tried to help, slowly but surely he started acting fine, he was on medication and had two people that actually cared for him - not pity him. of course they didn't know what was going on in his head, but they were there for him.

and the months leading up to the prank josh was going to make, to hurt the others - he was finding ways to hurt chris and sam, the closest to him, the ones that cared. because if he was going to hurt the ones that caused the death of his younger sisters, why not the ones that didn't?? the ones that were there for him in the aftermath?

if he was going to lose all his friends why not go all out, in his mind they probably didn't care for him anyways right? push them all away so they didn't have to care for him anymore, so he could be alone.

[slayrith]

cleaned the inbox out n working on drafts— need to update my pinned post n set up a masterlist butttt if u guys want feel free to send requests!!

[slayrith]

me when this non real man thats so hot and i just wanna bite a chunk out of him

and hear him whine

[slayrith]

max has definitely laughed so hard he spat and laura has drooled on her blanket then put her face in the damp spot on accident bc max made her laugh

[slayrith]

josh and sam love doing things together but when they can’t see each other in-person they have the longest phone calls known to man

it’s usually sam doing smth n josh staring if they’re on a video call or josh is busy and sam is like. screenshotting him which makes him so confused and she just looks at him like :]

[slayrith]

guys get ready for the jossam chronicles aka:

i want to write but have no time so i’m instead writing jossam as things me n fine shyt do

[slayrith]

sam whips out a can and a shoe and josh a good old newspaper roll or a cup bc sam doesn’t like killing bugs even if spiders scare the shit out of her

woke up from a nap n thought abt jossam

sam will deal with any bug but spiders

josh will deal with any bug but roaches

they help each other out n tease each other about it later

[slayrith]