sleepingjasminetea

[sleepingjasminetea]

people often think i'm doing it for the bit but unfortunately i Am the type of guy who just says shit like "pray tell" and "indeed" and "naught but the human heart can hope to capture the moon's beauty" (that was actually about my shitty phone camera) and nobody really knows what to do when they hear those words come out of my mouth. myself included.

[sleepingjasminetea]

Okay I have a confession to make I haven't seen Lizzie's s1 empires pov before today bUT APPARENTLY THERE WAS A LOT I MISSED???

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIZZIE WAS GONNA BEHEAD JOEL IF HE DIDN'T GIVE HER AN HEIR?!?!??!

[sleepingjasminetea]

[sleepingjasminetea]

[sleepingjasminetea]

Y'know Dracula got lucky with the fact that his name is still reasonable backwards. Imagine if Godzilla, Frankenstein, or Mothman had to do that shtick? Allizdog, Nietsneknarf, and Namhtom would not be very inconspicuous. Any you can think of that could pull it off?

I can't come up with a cogent response because I'm stuck on the mental image of Godzilla needing to adopt an alias in order to buy real estate.

[sleepingjasminetea]

girl you just gave birth hang on a minute 😭😭😭😭

[sleepingjasminetea]

oh and that gap in my resume is when i was digging my own grave

[sleepingjasminetea]

this is a terrible time to be alive *remembers the latter half of the 14th century* this is a not so good time to be alive

[sleepingjasminetea]

you cannot save me!! i am unsaveable!!! i have never been saved!!!!!!!!

[sleepingjasminetea]

My vampires CAN walk into the sunlight but doing so would reveal what they would look like if they aged normally

Younger vampires don’t have much to worry about but older vamps have reason to avoid sunlight as they age. They are still immortal, but their aged, sunlit selves are significantly weaker than their non-sunlit forms. Vamps over 100 years old run the risk of crumpling over, fully immobile, but still conscious

[sleepingjasminetea]

got a spinning chair

[sleepingjasminetea]

We also figured out—the hard way—that the ancients probably cut each layer of linen to the proper shape before gluing them together. For our first linothorax, we glued together 15 layers of linen to form a one centimeter-thick slab, and then tried to cut out the required shape. Large shears were defeated; bolt cutters failed. The only way we were ultimately able to cut the laminated linen slab was with an electric saw equipped with a blade for cutting metal. At least this confirmed our suspicion that linen armor would have been extremely tough. We also found out that linen stiffened with rabbit glue strikes dogs as in irresistibly tasty rabbit-flavored chew toy, and that our Labrador retriever should not be left alone with our research project.

[sleepingjasminetea]

[sleepingjasminetea]

the fall of doriath

[sleepingjasminetea]

people are clowning on this guy on reddit but uhhh let's pause for a minute and ask...so what happens if someone has a skin condition? what if part of their face has been burned? what if they're missing their eyes? and so what if they just have a fuckton of tattoos? recognition algorithms are aligned with the most ""average"" / ""normal"" features which means any deviation gets denied access to shit we didnt need age verification for 1 year ago. i dont care if it's a choice versus not, dont care if it's accessing porn or wikipedia, this needs to stop

[sleepingjasminetea]

Just realised that whenever I see the phrase "I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole" I automatically think of a ten metre pole. Like a comically long pole. A ten foot pole isn't all that long. That's slightly less than two of my body lengths. Not touching something with a ten foot pole still lets you get pretty close to it actually.

[sleepingjasminetea]

What does it take to be human?