slobtosaiyan

[slobtosaiyan]

I'm still here! I havent given up yet. It's been a hectic month or so with my besties wedding and hen dos and haven't really gotten to the gym! I am also terrible at posting social media stuff! I'm hoping to get my ass back running soon, as I was so so close to getting to my 5k/30 minute running. Hopefully there by June!

But.. do you ever get the feeling where you just hate everything about yourself? I'm just having a moment where I hate the way I look, hate my face, by body, the way I think and act generally. I would love to be anyone else for day, and just not be me. I want to be able to dissappear for a month from everything and everyone, so I can work on myself, and do the things I want to do. But i have responsibility. I have ben and molly, and a job. I need the money.

It will pass.

I just dont like myself today.

[slobtosaiyan]

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A post shared by Moymoy Buenaflor (@moymoy_buenaflor)

I haven't posted anything about the sad death of Akira Toriyama as I lack the ability to draw something that could honour him. But this is pretty beautiful.

I know I am still a newbie to DBZ, I knew of it when I was a kid, and always wanted to watch it, but we didn't have the channel. When I was older I was told by many partners that Anime was for children and it was stupid, so I never watched any of it. I am so sad I missed out on 32 years of Anime, especially Dragon Ball Z. It is now one of the pillars of my relationship with Ben.. it always brings us together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thank you #Akira Toriyama for everything. My world looks so much brighter because you were in it. ❤️ Rest in Peace

[slobtosaiyan]

So I have been going to the gym I promise! Am gonna photo dump.. must excuse the fact I'm wearing the same top... I don't know where the others dissappear to! Haha. Had "hormone" migraines Thurs -Tues so didn't feel up to the gym.. spent most of the time when I wasn't working napping on the sofa! Determined to get back in the flow though. I'm still 89kg and it hasn't gone back up so it's not a fluke! It worked! Woop! That alone is pushing me forward. I can do this. I can!

Getting there hopefully! 14kg to gooooooo!

[slobtosaiyan]

Proof! Hahaha. I also did my week 3 run on thr NHS Couch to 5k. Was alright. Managed to do a 10 second sprint at 11kph at the end. Go me!

I do not feel good! Hahahahahahahahawhydidiletmyselfgetsofatahahahahaha

[slobtosaiyan]

It's been a busy and/or shit past few weeks. Ended up working day job and night job tuesday-saturday, which was horrendous. This week we found d out we are gonna lose the house as we aren't getting the money we needed to buy dad out of the house. So I haven't really found it in be to be able to exercise. Next week will be better hopefully. Work out wise and generally... right? It has to. Eughhhh.

On the plus side.. 90.90kg today! Only 15kg more to go! Haha

[slobtosaiyan]

So today has had more ups and downs than usual! Haha but luckily more ups than downs, which I appreciate greatly!

TMI but i came on this morning, and have been cramping pretty bad, so boo, but yay, i managed to get rid of the treadmill for a bit (its at my mums house being neglected for the last 2 years!) Also Yayyy! Ben and I have managed to get to the gym this evening! I did a warm up walk on the treadmill, then week 3 of the NHS Couch to 5k straight off, which... is not bad, considering i last went to the gym/ran was in september! (Yayyyy!) I'm gonna do another post about that or I'll ramble even more! I also managed to do some shoulder presses and pulldowns, so had a solid start I hope! Just need to keep the momentum going! When I got back to the car one of my fillings fell out..(Mega boo, i am terrified of the dentist!) But when I got home my portable bath had arrived! 😍 it makes me so happy, it's been over 2 years since I had one! So I got my book, my dinner (soup) and my Nebula light and am pretty darn happy right now. And Ben is looking after me while i soak!😊 am a very lucky girl! 🥰

[slobtosaiyan]

OK.. so I'm not saying I have failed this... but I'm not doing too well 😅 Ben has joined the gym, and we are just waiting for our scheduled to align to go to the gym!

I had another tattoo yesterday so feel like crap, so haven't been eating keto, but as low carb as I can get with eating comfort food. You gotta do what you gotta do eh!

Work out wise, I am torn. I know Sweat with Kayla is highly rated, bit it seems quite expensive. I also had a pt a while ago, but had to stop because of migraines. I didnt really rate them with helpfulness, but it was a good work out, its like £120 for a month. Then there's a pt who works with woman's hormones, and I am quite interested to see if it helps, as that is ony of my training stalling points, as I get the most horrific bloating and cramps. I need to make a decision soon and get my ass to the gym! Ha

[slobtosaiyan]

Eugh. I've totally failed today. Felt like absolute crap with this cold (not covid, I checked) and was just soooo hungry, so I caved. Had some fruits and veg.. some cheese, a massive bag of pesto crisps a bag of gold buttons, some sold bars,and a tortilla pizza. I'm gonna try again tomorrow. Have work in the daytime, then my other job in the evening, do won't really have time to eat crap.. but if I feel like this tomorrow, I'm not doing either!

In the immortal words of Anne Shirley... "Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it." Gotta dust myself off and try again! 🤮

[slobtosaiyan]

Got more done on my arm tattoo today. It looks really pretty. I think.

I was hungry all day, and realised that sugar free Monster has 4.4g of carbs! How did I not realise this? Probably as I'm so used to looking at calories instead! Ha.

I tried a... i dunno... cauliflower rice stir fry I guess it is, now that I think more about it. I was a bit nervous about whether I would like it, but it was actually really tasty. I will put the recipe up in a bit! Definitely going to have it again! 20.2g in carbs, although I may have overestimated just to be safe! Haha

#TW (Cals):

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I'm finding it hard to hit calories with the amount of carbs I'm having. I've eaten all my carbs for the day, but only hit 600 calories. Does anyone have any recommendations or ideas?

[slobtosaiyan]

OK, so I failed to get up this morning, so no walking. Which is fine, I could do it this evening after work.... apart from I had some cheese and sugarsnap peas for lunch/a snack (which I also learned that sugarsnap peas aren't great for keto..eughhh) and the cheese made me rather ill!, so I had to do a runner from work before disaster struck. I'm currently cramping and not staying too far from the bathroom.. so maybe not too much exertion this evening, lest I shit myself. Will probably use the walking mat thing once my stomach has calmed down, but not the greatest start! But live and learn.. more thought needs to go in to this.

Also. I am still hungry.