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When I’m about to discharge my hip fx patient with baseline dementia from my caseload and brace myself for the pushback:

“But their memory is terrible.”

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When I’m assessing orientation/remote memory and I ask my pt who the current president is, and they respond “that asshole”...

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Watching all the silent aspiration on my pt’s VFSS like:

Yeeeaaahhhh so we’re gonna stay with NPO for now. 

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When my pt on NTL insists the bottled water on their bedside table “isn’t theirs”...

Suuuuuuure, and the 5 empty peanut-butter cracker wrappers in my scrub pockets were “from PO trials”...

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When I get a VFSS report that gleans no information other than the presence/absence of penetration/aspiration...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TELL ME MORE.

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When a former favorite patient comes back to the unit to visit and they're doing FRICKIN AMAZING

Few things are more rewarding than this 😊

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When I’m assessing remote memory and ask my Pt to tell me about what’s been happening in the news lately...

...and they’re able to recall current events accurately (yay!) but then start talking about how unfair the media is being to trump, how he’s doing a great job and people need to give him a chance, etc etc...

*Resists temptation not to comment on “impaired judgment” in my documentation*

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When I go to do oral care on my patient during their swallow eval/prior to PO trials and it becomes VERY apparent nobody has cleaned their mouth for weeks

That smell...the caked secretions...the HAIRY LOOKING TONGUE...

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When I have to tell a patient after a trial tray I'm keeping them on their current diet because they're way too impulsive (e.g., shoveled food, tried to eat an entire pancake in one bite, etc)

Said patient be like:

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When I'm faced with my first neurogenic stutter patient 2 years our from fluency class in grad school...

And that class was of low importance to me at the time because I knew I wanted to work with adults / be in a medical setting and the class was geared mostly towards pediatric fluency...

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MD to me re: pt (on NTL) I’m evaluating later that day: “I gave them a whole cup of water, they did fine.”

Me, internally:

LET. ME. DO. MY. JOB.

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When the new grad RN on the unit tells me she wants to learn more about swallowing and asks if there’s anything I can teach her:

Education-seeking new grad RN: You can stay. I shall enlighten thee with swallowology knowledge!

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Patient on puree/HTL: “I can swallow perfectly fine.”

Me:

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When I have a group session and my patients are horrible influences on one another and veer us off track/topic for 90% of the session.

This went a lot different in my mind

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Team meetings be like:

*Sigh* The weekly struggle. It’s a PT/OT world y’all (but it’s still way awesome to be an SLP because we have loads of flexibility to make nearly anything therapeutic and if all else fails we can bribe our patients to do therapy with snacks / PO trials)

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Since graduating / becoming a real working SLP, any time I hear “Broca’s aphasia” or “Wernicke’s aphasia,” I’m like:

Raise your hand if your professors harped on this terminology when you were in school but then you entered the real word to realize NOBODY uses these terms clinically!

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When I go to se my NPO Pt and they’re fully reclined in bed with their tube feed running...

C’MON MANNNN THAT IS NOT 45*