small-idiot-with-internet

[small-idiot-with-internet]

'I'm reading fanfiction.'

'What's it about?' immediately after, without interval, 'Puh-gina.'

'You're gonna feel so bad when I tell you.'

'What is it, the holocaust?'

'Fanfiction about the holocaust?!' said in the same cadence as, 'Perry the platypus?!'

'Yeah- I went too far in one direction.' laughs like that woman in 'Ma'

'Y'know you laughed like that woman.'

'Did you know there's gonna be a part two?'

'Of the holocaust?!'

'No.'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

'I'm reading fanfiction.'

'What's it about?' immediately after, without interval, 'Puh-gina.'

'You're gonna feel so bad when I tell you.'

'What is it, the holocaust?'

'Fanfiction about the holocaust?!' Said in the same cadence as, 'Perry the platypus?!'

'Yeah- I went too far in one direction.' He laughs(?).

'Y'know you laughed like that woman. The one that does the laugh and is like, "It's five o'clock somewhere!"

'Did you know there's gonna be a part two?'

'Of the holocaust?!'

'No. The movie.'

About five minutes later

'Wanna help me move a desk?'

'What's the movie called?'

'What, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas?'

'No the- What?'

'There's been a lot of different conversations happening.'

'The one with the woman with the laugh.'

'Oh. Ma.'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

'Back in my day, goon used to mean henchman. Now, it's something I do to hench men.'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

Playing a game as a family and my dad just accidentally said Eurydice as 'Euradyke'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

'Top surgery! In Poland!'

'Why are there so many hentai games on the Nintendo switch?'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

Fuck AI.

I'm sat here in the half dark wearing a sports bra and taco boxers, headphones wrapped around my neck, drinking cold hot chocolate with the spoon still in the mug, teaching myself how to play Davy Jones and Calypso's heart theme to serenade my wife. An AI could never.

Happy pride motherfuckers

[small-idiot-with-internet]

'I just drew a bomb ass monkey face.'

'A bomb ass monkey face?'

'You're going to bomb a monkey??'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

'That crusty bitch with the scarf is Viktor, right?'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

I was trying to look something up when from the recesses of my brain pit came a goblin muttering

'The team.' What?

'The team! The team! The softball team!'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

Turns out that love is making your bed with nothing but a totebag on your head, just to hear her laugh and make her smile

[small-idiot-with-internet]

So my girlfriend and I did this Arcane filter thing, and she's just said to me, 'You're Viktor and Jayce's love baby.'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

Talking about the last Trump rally:

'Honestly if you'd have seen it-'

'I don't need to, I know what a cult meeting looks like.'

[small-idiot-with-internet]

I don't think people truly understand how eerie vampires are.

What do you mean you don't wake up every morning an entirely new person?

[small-idiot-with-internet]

Welp. I'm in love again

I can't wait until I get to be in love again.

[small-idiot-with-internet]

Sometimes, you already know that you are going to have to grieve a loss. Sometimes, you hold on so tight that by the time you do have to grieve, you've already done so. Then, you're left with this emptiness that marrs the good experiences you did have.

Don't hurt yourself trying to hold onto the past kiddo.

[small-idiot-with-internet]

Sometimes, peeling yourself an orange is an act of self-love.

[small-idiot-with-internet]

the first time I felt seen was when I watched 'the perks of being a wallflower'