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I am internet famous; I have one (1) note within 5 minutes of posting >:))

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BARK BARK BARKBARK

BARKBARKBARK WOOF

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I LOVE being autistic and trying to communicate because every time it’s

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Debbie and Angie Winans’ song Simply A Fanatic hits too hard. Especially if you imagine the lyrics being sung by a disco warlock instead of a devotee of god

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B2;T2 — Sorrow & Fate

The unnaturally cold water had enveloped loyal Cerberus; the moonlight came in rays through the overhead clouds to illuminate slowly descending corpses and discarded pieces of boats and dock. Despite the agonies that befell loyal Cerberus' spirit, a warm ocean current like that like a pleasant hand holding his own took him as he swam, which transported him at tremendous speeds onwards and revitalized his morale. The water then grew dark as time labored on, save for an illuminated keep deep beneath the waves that indicated the destination of his journey thus far. He swam onwards and closed in on this space; water invaded loyal Cerberus' lungs as he entered this realm of the enchanted palace of Armathan the Ruined, but it did not choke him, instead it renewed his breath. The palace here glittered like gold, and the coral surrounding this place grew underneath him to receive his weight and form a bridge to the throne room. As he entered, he saw his deity adorned in beautiful dress and gentle demeanor.

Throwing himself to the floor in reverence, she smiled at his dutifulness but spoke to him in a voice that sounded as honey,

"Loyal Cerberus, honorable warrior king of the Sonet Isles, he who is chief of entertainment to the gods, but sole champion to myself, the ruined Armathan, goddess of the waves. I summon you in a dire time, your people are amongst the shades in the Underworld, under the rule of Hades the Vigilant. A new vile race of smog and tar called Demons bring conquest above the surface of the waves, and your wife was brought to an unjust end. I know that you a fraught with loss, and as much as I could let a mortal mean to me, I sympathise for you like I would with a child of my own. What I ask of you now I know you will detest, but as both the god of sea and divination I demand from you to not fight fate but follow it's current. You are to take from me two gifts, a divine vessel that will carry you to your love, and a cloak that will hide the identity of whoever it is that wears it. Do so with haste, champion; your love waits for you."

Loyal Cerberus turned his attention to whence he came, he saw a shimmering vessel with the serpent of a dragon at one end and with no sails, on the deck floated an open cloak. He stood with one foot on the deck and took the cloak in an outstretched hand, looking backwards to his divine protector and finding courage to stewardly pronounce,

"I thank you Armathan the Ruined for your divine gifts and shall do everything you requested of me."

As he finished his words, he saw a dark hole appear in the center of her chest, expanding rapidly to envelop her placid smile and body whole. A deep sorrow gutted loyal Cerberus then again; the ship moved on of it's own will as the enchanted palace lost it's shine and began to rapidly fall into ruin.

Loyal Cerberus then wept.

Time passed as the divine vessel shot through the water, curving around the underwater environment; the loyal king was beside himself from loss but a mission was bestowed upon him, such a task bringing back determination. The divine vessel plunged into the inky abyss, as if out of instinct. Here, the earth began to shake violently, the sediment on the floor was brought up in sudden unrest; the ocean floor split in two and a bevy of demons rushed out. Adorned in his cloak, the loyal warrior king readied his sword for attack, yet none came for the cloak shielded him from sight and the boat became translucent like the water around them.

The boat and it's loyal king descended into the ravine and into the underworld.

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A New Listener’s Guide to Post Rock

Thought I would recommend some songs of the Post Rock genre for any new listeners! Skip ahead to the Purple Text for just the recommendations.

Post-rock is a subgenre of experimental rock characterized by the exploration of textures and timbres as well as non-rock styles, often with minimal or no vocals, placing less emphasis on conventional song structures or riffs than on atmosphere for musically evocative purpose (Wikipedia “Post Rock”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-rock)

The genre is quite different from what The Beatles or Jimi Hendrix would describe “Rock” as. Post Rock is about long build ups of energy, repetitive musical phrases that are altered subtly throughout the genre’s songs, and climaxing with a powerful sound. The genre is characterised as not having the popular “verse, chorus, verse” song structure. This genre is not for humming its catchy chorus on the commute to work. The genre is to sit down to and appreciate like an art form!

Post Rock is a bit pretentious at times, but let it sing to you, it is incredibly emotive! It often is accompanied by anti-capitalist sentiments (like as seen by famous post-rock band Godspeed You! Black Emperor), and a sense of longing and/or dread.

The genre is not for everyone, but if anyone even looks at this post to begin with then that is a score in my books :)

My Recomendations

When listening to any of these things try to appreciate a song you begin listening to in it’s entirety.

For those who are after a traditional Post Rock introduction, I would recommend Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s first song in their album Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven called Storm. And if you enjoyed that move onto their first album F♯ A♯ ∞

For some shorter Post Rock songs, I would recommend Silver Mt. Zion’s 13 Angels Standing Guard ‘Round The Side Of Your Bed and if you enjoyed that move onto Mogwai’s Fuck Off Money.

For those who enjoy their metal, I would recommend Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s Piss Crowns Are Trebled, and if you enjoyed that move onto MONO’s Requiem for Hell.

If you would like to know my favourite Post Rock album, I would say it is MONO’s Hymn to the Immortal Wind (Anniversary Edition).

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“‘Life is a series of getting hit in ways you didn’t think you could get hit, then learning to recover in ways you never thought you could recover, until you are a regenerating, fast-healing monstrosity, cackling darkly as you arise from all setbacks, drinking in your despair’ -Samsykes

‘That’s what I said when I pooed myself in Costco and they dragged me out by my shitted pants’ -Sun Tzu, Art of War’”

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B2;T1 — A Hero Most Loyal

A time long before Dwarves built epic strongholds up horizontal mountain's cliff faces when the world flew lopsided and flung it's contents into the underworld, or before thereafter elves would go on to invent the sea-faring ship to colonise and conquer under Her Majesty's Empire, there existed a Loyal king known as Cerberus. Loyal Cerberus was a kind, marvelous, honorable warrior king who was chief of entertainment to the gods, but sole champion to the ruined Armathan, goddess of the waves. It was in him that no other could best in grand ritual and sacrifice to the ruined Armathan, and hence his beautiful ceramic city of the Sonet Isles sat in a serene protective sea that lashed out in violent waves taller than even loyal Cerberus' palace against would be thieves and pirates. However, as the world flew lopsided and flung it's contents into the underworld under the mighty wrath of irascible Martius, the will of the ruined Armathan could not contend with what fate had in store. Cerberus' fleet tumbled down into the underworld and his people fell into the sea and drowned without their boats. A sinister comet grew is size as it roared with malevolent flame high in the sky, and to the deep sorrow of loyal Cerberus, his wife Sanou was hung by her own fine silks as her bedroom flew out from under her feet. Among the few survivors of his house arose loyal Cerberus' seer, wise Baltarsos, who spoke with resigned coolness to his loyal king after three days and nights of calamity wherein Cerberus wallowed to himself in his painted ceramic halls holding the lifeless face of his wife to his own,

"oh my great loyal king Cerberus, one who sails, reigns, and commands the beautiful Sonet Isles with no competitor, I bring myself to plea that you hear me now, as my word comes with great urgency. Your kingdom has been swept from you and calamity knocks upon your palace doors; it has taken your wife and your people. However, the time for sorrow must be left behind us, as the comet brings further doom; an army birthed from tar, and of abominable traits marches through the world and seeks to reunite you with your wife by the most undesirable means.

Loyal Cerberus paused in his weeping for only a moment, then came to only to exclaim to his wise seer,

"then let them! A fate worse than death I live, only for the sake that taking my own life would be greatly unbecoming."

Wise Baltarsos shook his head at his pitiful loyal king, inhaling deeply before speaking in a quiet sweet tone that a father might speak to his son,

"I come to you with another vision my great loyal king Cerberus. I divine that fate seeks for you to dive deep into the ocean and reach our respected yet ruined Armathan. She will gift you a divine vessel to reach the underworld and rescue your Sanou, and a cloak to bring her back.”

With this word Cerberus arose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Sorrow shed from his person with the offering to free his wife from Hade's hold, and moreover, a prophecy involving the ruined Armathan must always be trusted. With this, he gave Sanou one last kiss, and clutched Baltarsos in, whilst unconventional, a great warming hug before walking from his halls and plunging into the dark ocean.

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B1;T1 — Titans, Gods, and the Four Great Powers

The ever knowledgeable titans of old created the heavens, mortal plane and the underworld from nothing, populating it with humans from a grand design of existence in which they would create and destroy in reference from. From nothing spoke four great powers alien even to the titans,

“We are patient Thánatos, judicial Limos, conquesting Zelos and irascible Martius, we wish to spread onto all four corners your world the cruelty of nature strong and ever-present; death, famine, pestilence and war. In return, we shall create a pact to hold the world by its four corners strong and high so it may sit between the underworld and heaven.” 

The ever knowledgeable titans agreed, and the pact was sealed. Humans now died and knew pain, however they now went to the underworld and the heavens beamed down to them so their world would grow full and healthy with life. The ever knowledgeable titans would go on to create the gods to take over their heavenly duties upon the mortal realms so they may bring their attention elsewhere, leaving them the heavens unto where they would look down to the mortal plane. However, the gods were burdened with human attributes that gave them many flaws; jealousy, love, hate, greed and much more. They decided to abuse their heavenly responsibilities, removing sleep and night, giving the humans fire and magic, and creating elves, dwarves, and many more fantastic peoples. Mortal kingdoms arose and civilisation flourished, yet when the ever knowledgeable titans returned their attention they brought with them their ire. They spoke with rolling thunder and the power of earthquakes,

“Our children who we give power to so you may maintain the world have abused our trust, made a mockery of the grand design and spat in the face of our respect. We will destroy your creations and wipe humans from this world; we will cause great chasms in the earth, send our lightning down and toss the sea onto the land.” 

The gods grew angry with their superior titans and waged war, if given heavenly power, why not use it? The titans slew many gods and bent, broke and misshaped many more, but one god called Basileus the Venerable slew the titan called Lightning, his first daughter Armathan the Ruined slew Sea, and their brother in arms Hades the Vigilant slew Damned. Basellius the Venerable rallied the gods and slew or imprisoned the ever knowledgeable titans. The gods continued to shower their mortals with many more gifts, and used their total freedom to infringe on the edges of the pact with the four great powers that held up the portal plane, healing pestilence, creating bountiful harvests, reviving the dead and commanding peace. The great powers called out,

“Great titan-spawn above, you transgress upon our pact. Conquesting pestilence, judicial famine, patient death, and irascible war should run through your world that we hold aloft. You break your own cycle of life and the world grows much too crowded and heavy to hold aloft.” 

The gods retorted, offended by the habitually stoic four powers and responded egoistically,

“Your ways are cruel and archaic; such a pact was made with the tyrannical titans, and calling us their spawn is as much an insult to us as your influence is to the mortal plane. We have no obligation to humor demands from owners of depraved portfolios of power such as yourself. Our heavenly power demonstrates ultimate good and reason whilst yours bring suffering and pain, and we have slain even the titans; what threat could you pose”

Two of the members of the four powers grew into great uproar—one louder than the other—the underworld shook with the stomping of feet each as large as moons and bellows of anger louder than lightning itself. Patient Thánatos, unmoving, spoke with reason that they should wait and that the gods will come to reason. Judicial Limos, surpassing patient Thánatos only slightly in volume, spoke bluntly that justice will come to all, even the gods. Conquesting Zelos, once again more voluminous in speech, retorted that the gods have already broken the wheel of nature and that justice will not reach them. Irascible Martius then spoke in turn the most loud of them all, that their pact was voided and that the gods must be dealt with. With that, irascible Martius let go of the world, and it flew greatly out of balance. The earth trembled and fractured, and one side of the plane descended down to the underworld where then great kingdoms slid into, and the other side scorched by the heavens was left in ruin and became a charred desert. Irascible Martius then roared to the heavens

“You all try with powers greater than your own, and for that we demonstrate our horrible power greater than even the titans.” 

Irascible Matrius then cleaved the underworld in two with one massive swing of his sword, and then scooped all the denizens of his half of the underworld into one hand and scorched that same half in eternal flame. He then blew a putrid smog onto these damned, and turned them into demons, placing them onto the mortal plane and into his scorched half of the underworld. He then returned to lift the mortal plane and took over from conquesting Zelos so that she may shoot from her bow a shooting star that would empower the demons onto a march through the mortal plane, conquering their way to the heavens. Returning, it became judicial Limos’s turn, where they swapped the sun with the moon and left it so until an equal time had passed, then the two would turn as they should. Finally, it became patient Thánatos’ turn to let the other three hold the mortal plane, and made it so the god’s interference would bring immediate death upon any individual they dared to help or interfere with. The great powers then left the mortal plane lopsided. The gods cried out,

“We recognise your great power, and fear for our mortals and the endurance of our heavenly gates that hold against your wicked bevy of demons. Please oh great ones return to which the planes once were, and we will respect your pact.”

The four great powers then slowly responded,

“Let this be a lesson for you foolish gods, as patient Thánatos, judicial Limos, conquesting Zelos and irascible Martius never forget a promise. Leave the plane as so until the moon returns to be cradled by the underworld and the sun returns to the heavens, then the world will be held aloft equally once more.”

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cringe naynay baby

No.

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you STINK

whAAATT