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Remember and forget

You live to remember: You always want to resect all the occurrences that have happened, recite the facts and recall all the memories experienced. Reflect on the reputable and respected ones but resent forgetting the rough and rowdy ones because, like the North, they refined and redefined you.

To remember is to live: One can only recollect their reveries when they are responsively alive. To re-evaluate is to reinstitute. To resuscitate can actually resurrect.

To be remembered is to have lived: Fear of oblivion. Like Rameses II/Ozymandias, we all want to have a roll in life, have reason, be revered and reveal this to hopefully be recited one day.

 You die to forget: The only finish line is fatality. Our unfathomable failures will at one point fall out of our feeble hands and all we would want is a final full format.

To forget is to die: To felicitously formulate all that is around, as mentioned, is to live, with fair exceptions of formidable neurodegenerative diseases and faith. The fellow opposite is not and a farewell follow-through is foreshadowed.

 “You live to remember, remember to live and to have been remembered is to have lived. You die to forget and to forget is to die.”

- Pavanraj Singh Chana

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Geometrical simulacrum

Life is often described as a head-scratching ascending and descending differential graph; a marathon where you have to knuckle down, climb up some lofty slippy-slide hills, cascade down them and well, keep going. I do not resent this sentiment. I actually think it’s quite a delightful description and have actually written as so about it. I was just thinking though that maybe, just maybe, along those curves, on a higher dimension, that there’s also a maze you have to enigmatize through - a maze, be it a standard, circular or other known type. Considering life’s path like this may aptly frame the facet of choices, questioning and challenges most people’s experience every second, minute, hour, day and so on– you can go on and on with this standardized time thingy. A curve/vector is a tempting metaphor because magnitude and direction are conventionally employed aspects and we get to see the bigger picture; the trend, like the ones we see/learn about in class; but singular lines alone slay realistic acumen. A curve/vector like element superimposed with a labyrinthic maze may be more appropriate to the dimension we perceive and could be the host platform we lucidly seek to paint reality with all its shades of colour and adventure (Deverich, 2013).

We are unexpectedly brought when born, probably by those storks (not pelicans Mr and Mrs Pedantics) we see in cartoons carrying babies, into a point of time and space in this maze- a point/section where most of the time our parent(s)/guardian(s) are. We are then bound to follow them until we develop the ability to stand, egotize, fall, inquire and explore. Obviously, a certain percentage of individuals cling on longer to others than others, doing the first four but not independently inking out the definition of “exploration”. This classic scouting may initially be driven by pressures of parent(s)/guardian(s), norms of society and sometimes simply by the blind hoisting of time but it can be steered by needs and wants (Deverich, 2013). Of course, you’re certain to take wrong turns, hit dead ends, lose time, meander in all types of traps and twists to unexpected places; unless you’ve somehow studied the fates of time or have unprecedented luck. This maze doesn’t have clear signs, maps or guides. How could it, as the options seem infinite. We can however try to learn about how to navigate it by the various learning methods enforced or availed when living (Emberton, 2017) or at least understand when we’re progressing uphill or tumbling down the curves.

Now some people for whatever reason are satisfied going down the first independent pathway they encounter, simply because it seemed easier and logical at the time, with others going down the alternatives up ahead. The thought that it’s their own choice and/or hence the right one at the moment is enough to accept the outcome irrespective of what it is. The choice could be defended by intuition, impulses, hopes or a scratch of knowledge but the idea that it may lead down to a dead end has to be accepted. The dilemma comes if they reach such a point. To go back suggests failure: that our judgement was flawed, that time was wasted, that the other paths could also have worse twists and turns and round-and-round in circles you will have to go. And the painful thing is – that’s usually agonizingly true (Emberton, 2017). The maze just is agonizingly unfair. An unknown number of people settle despite this, not glancing back, be it for effort or pride, with the aspect of not even glancing over the surrounding walls/hedges. Others back up, turn and refuse to live in such a trap, going back into the labyrinth to try other routes. The latter choice might be tedious with turn backs, repetitive outcomes and mistakes but the possibility of finding a unicursal path and route to whatever life is about still remains elusive and learning the jest of this I think is key to individual development. As people, I know we’re really good at soaring for miles forward but we hate or are literally fearful of backtracking (Emberton, 2017). The choice concludes with your alludes: Is it going to be constancy or a puzzle to liberation? Sometimes we cling on to others or follow the bread crumbs of successful people who “made it”, but the conclusion might not be the same. It might never be. Some of those people worked or had been granted opportunistic openings in their times and space which will remain closed or shifted when others come. The walls or hedges were also short enough for others to jump over and take shortcuts but grew taller and can only be pole vaulted over now. It’s a predicament but I still think the greatest mistake is standing still especially if you haven’t fulfilled the true end goal. Do not unnecessarily be an immovable object when there are no strict unstoppable forces around you. You’re allowed to snooze this time, try making the best of such a rare gifted opportunity and restart.

So, what is this end goal? Certainly, we are oriented to seek comfort zones and materialistic resources. Become rich and/or famous. But what if these were just simply geographic locations in the maze— a great tourist site to live or visit? We are all looking for such places but these false trajectories or accolades alone will only satisfy impulses, desires and ego stroking. I think the most important end goal, irrespective of whether you reach such places is knowing that the movement in this journey is to find awareness, enlightenment, appreciation, wisdom and conjure your true self and calling - all true tools for the exploration notion. No location within the maze without this can be the end goal/purpose because time will taper you off, the walls/hedges might close down and the undisputed heavy weight champion Death will knock you out whenever it feels like, even if your physically, mentally and socially not ready for this. This nevertheless won’t be such a painful loss if you have discovered these named aspects and truly may have figured out part of the maze (Deverich, 2013).  

The maze indeed continues to thwart, push or pull but sometimes supports voyaged progress. Our progress is cut short or blocked by all the -isms, prejudice, self-esteems, knowledge barriers and discouragement. When we start out, very few of us know exactly what, when and where we want to end up. We spend time a lot of time hopelessly floating, fulfilling others’ expectations, exploring career and relationship paths that may be accidental, abrupt, futile, or disappointing cul-de-sacs. Sometimes we are pulled “off the track” to help others, get scarred, damaged or heartbroken but these detours and escapades may actually build you and direct you to divine paths. Even if we know what we want and how to get there, we are not always given the necessary resources and access. Exploring all the nooks, crooks, crannies and hidden alcoves to do so I think gives more reason for existing, breathing, moving, and living. Awareness gives rise to questions of self which is believed to distinguish yourself from other animate and inanimate things. Sometimes defining self is an outwardly active process, building a family, pursuing a career, attempting a physical feat or giving in to relationships. Other times it’s an inward process, listening and learning what is authentically you and what is projected onto you from others and society. Are you this, that or are you what other people called you? Generated enlightenment, appreciation and wisdom also help answer these, as well as the existential question of who we are and what does it matter? It’s all basically a daunting quest but let’s start to like the challenge. Discovering your calling can also give deeper and richer meaning to your experiences. It can also stop the wandering and provide bona fide guidance to your next move (Deverich, 2013).  

Life’s maze does have more inception-like complexities in it. Take our labyrinthic minds: They are mazes within this maze and others, that of course allow us to experience everything but only after our trapped thoughts, opinions and creativity pick outlets within unconsciousness and subconsciousness to be channelled to consciousness. Another example is our lost souls finding a story in their catacombs and fiddled riddle of love also add deeper reconnaissance.

I don’t know if there is a true entrance or exit to this maze but the purpose of this writing, like others have tried is to help with journeys. There could also be a “centre” to this maze; a sort of godhead core of knowledge, centre perspective, outcome to salvation, where one could as well experience life like no other like the way the man in black in the Westworld show thinks there is. I’m once again not sure. I guess you have to strap your boots and gloves tight and continue to fight to find out.  Life has a maze. You were meant to live, to see that the challenge is felt and meant to be (Tracey, 2015). You have to try, not settle easily, because of you don’t try, well, you may, have not lived life at all (Meet Joe Black, 1998).

-by Pavanraj Singh Chana  

    References

Deverich, A. (2013, Sep 26). Life’s Path Is a Maze, Not a Straight Line. Retrieved from

HuffPost: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amanda-deverich/life-lessons_b_3994327.html

Emberton, O. (2017). Life is a maze, not a marathon. Retrieved from Oliver Emberton:

https://oliveremberton.com/2014/life-is-a-maze-not-a-marathon/ Meet Meet Joe Black (1998). [Motion Picture].

Tracey, A. (2015, Aug). The Maze. Retrieved from Family Friend Poems:

https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/the-maze

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Greey

Another day, another class. This class was however different; one of those where you actually get to ponder about something else apart from the subject being discussed.  What this mull over was was what the Anthropologist lecturer side-lined to supplement what she was discussing. It was not meant to be very important but gee did it really get me paying heavy bucks of attention and somehow opened up a big door of overrunning streaks of light and silhouetted guests of thought to distract me off course. To all those curious cats already slaying away, she said “Change is the only constant”- Turns out she was actually paraphrasing Heraclitus of Ephesos, an ancient Greek philosopher by the way.

Of course change is paradoxically a constant but I’m not so sure about it being the “only” one. Everything seems to change in this life. Something, someone, somewhere is always changing sometime. But to what degree is change significant? Which ways can it exist and how can we influence it? This sort of dilemma can be applied in so many scenarios but I’m going to leave it to you to think about. I’m however going to relate this concept somehow to some rabbit hole story that unfolded days after. No cornball lie that it happened immediately after because let’s be real, things rarely occur consecutively like that.

So two days after, I attended another lecture in the morning and after that went to the library to hit some books until noon. I was hungry and tired and needed to go my room. While I was walking out of the library I met a couple of my classmates outside who were going the same way I was and decided to tag along walking with them.

Now there’s this murram road on the way that we have to pass to reach our destinations: It’s not much of a road but more of a dusty trail. It was so odd that so many cars were passing along it that day. Along with the cars came treaded and dreaded clouds of dust and obscurity. We shortly found ourselves trailing blindly and unknowingly across this known road trying to reach our shelters, we sometimes contemplate about being homes. Large trucks shining their bright lights pitched through the dust whipped air avoiding the hammered portholes perpetually making us juggle between the shoulders of the road to walk on. My refuge was a lucid grimy yellow from a far that still managed to stand out despite looking rather orange as the dusty brown gloom coalesced with its colour. That orange mark was my Pleiades star constellation and I was Orion. We finally ended up on the side where my friends’ estate was. Opposite the estate was a small kiosk that vended out the daily “essentials” that I usually went to. I always looked across to the estate and wondered how this unknown abode looked like from within every time I waited for the vender to get me what I asked for. I passed it every day but never seemed to visit or peer inside even if the gates were wide open to fellow strangers at large. My friends invited me in soon after we struck a conversation about the walk here and in a jiffy, I took this opportunity to enter. The estate started off with a stone chip road, not so different from the dreadful one we came from but it was squeezed between strips of green hedges. I could see tall trees that I thought emerged from the estate while I used to stand from the kiosk and my anticipation was to find some sort of hanging gardens of Babylon in the estate. Alas that anticipation was shattered by a field of grey stone and despair. It turned out that those sky-high trees I saw from the kiosk emerged from the area behind. There was nothing but a few trees and more grey brick bungalows here. Tree stumps and wood stood boldly along the houses, with grey gutters gushing squalid water a few meters ahead instead. Dark patches of cement painted the road in a series which seemed intentional. It wasn’t even surprising to find an old truck lying on its side facing the road. Three little wine glass shaped trees per contra lied near three grey bricked buildings, which slightly compensated for this civilization intoxicated with the sweet taste of grape and demise of destruction for development. Deep into the estate was this gate, which had been painted green but was slowly crumbling apart to give way to grey metal- matching the trend taken by the estate. From a lean green the place must have been, it had changed to a fray grey. For lack of a better word a “greey” colour had set in.

For the greater good, of the human race that is, that area along with its greenery had to be cleared to provide those people with homes to live in. I get that change is inevitable and I’m not saying nothing should ever change. It will somehow, no matter what. One shouldn’t get fooled by campaign saying they can stop something from completely happening even in the environment. Entropy: The measure of a system’s disorder. The entropy of the universe is dependent on that of the system and environment. Nature tends to greater disorder and a change can occur spontaneously if the final state is more probable than the initial. If we senselessly hand platters to the final state what’s going to stop a detrimental change from happening? Einstein actually said “The environment is everything that isn’t me”. You’re my environment and I’m yours. We have some powers to delay deleterious divergences; set good precedents, establish an order and the universe will be less spontaneous. Change evokes change: I’m sure you’ve heard of the noted “ripple effect”? Action, no matter how small they are, can spread around the area they’re employed to. If we conjure positive changes, it will implore a positive profusion and the same goes for those itchy negative changes - Transformation will transpire either side of the fence, but gradually.

If certain changes were however like constants similar to those constants in proportion equations then that would be a different tale. Such a constant, whether factors are proportional or inversely proportional, gives a gradual fixed change. Anything put in that direction would be destructive; disorder would be exponential. A possible goal would be to avoid such a phenomenon- make the explained constant not a constant.

Now, most of us are looking for some satisfactory scene, different from the one we’re stuck in now: A scenario, where we might feel comfortable. I don’t know about you but I like “comfortable” and to reach that scene I know certain actions are needed to elicit such a change. Ever think about calculus? I try not to, but find myself occasionally doing so. I think our actions are series of expressions of differential or integration. Actions elicit change and our actions can be like differentiation, where we’re constantly ascending and descending down some dynamic curve trying to identify the maximum and minimum points. Avoiding the latter and eying for the former which could be the comfort to some and for others where the lines are horizontal or vertical when nothing changes for a while that is. Unlike practicing differentiation other people practice integration: where they retrace their steps, possibly striving to go back to a simpler and better situation and maybe find that comfortable shaded region they reminisce and long for. There’s still always a constant that emerges from each step, unlike differentiation making it harder to continue changing the scene.

This is my thinking and my view of things. A single opinion could prove me wrong and I’m not against that. My goal was just to relay such thought in this medium of writing and I think I’m done. A clever but silly way I think I can end this is possibly asking “Change for a note?”

 by - Pavanraj Singh Chana

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Revenge

­­­­­­­­­­­Revenge: You’re even but it’s still odd.

Your counteraction only adds on to the difference between you two - It multiplies the division and with time equates enmity.

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Palindromes poem (right to left = right to left reading)

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It was...hmmm?

Yesterday I had an awkward encounter with our known but mysterious sky. It had been a hard day; a day a terrible mistake was made: A mistake, made in something so well prepared for, but ended up in tangles. Never did I know what a mystical experience was waiting for me as I was to walk home to tranquilize that resentful feeling I was so webbed up in. It all started by the mere seer of hugging dark clouds on one end and piercing wieldy streaks of sunlight on the other. The sky was painted in a setting of contrast of colours around and behind the tiring sun, making its bed with pealing shades of orange and yellow. Those violent streaks of light were soon beginning to be succumbed to the blender of darkness taking its stand in the crossfire of debate in the case of time. The leaves from trees shimmered off a warm soft yellow and their trunks, not left behind, gave off a smooth red instead of the usual course brown. I forgot how to walk, how to talk and even where I was going. I just remembered how to see and feel and that was only because my eyes and heart had come out their steeds to hang off their ends. I felt liberated; I felt no care of the world especially of how I was perceived trying to capture this displayed panorama around me. It was like nothing ever felt before. It was euphoric to see a rainbow on the right and ecstasy to see another form higher than that one: A fusion of heaven, earth and wonderland with delightful Oreos and milk all at once. There were droplets of smooth flowing drizzle that slowly filled the air and skies. The birds fiddled sliding side to side and like pulsating stars the street lights began to flicker and awake. Having no camera to capture the scene I reached home: Remaining with nothing but a soulful picture of thought and memory to relive the mesmerizing moment. There was no regret, no remorse and like that child we once were, I felt no care about the world, no detain, except on how I was going to make the best out of any limited moment to explore the world. By Pavanraj Singh Chana

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Illumination

We live in a dark, murky, shivery world - A place, where that bright light piercing from the end of the tunnel is either hardly seen or seems non existence. We’ve fortunately been provided with some kind of guiding light to lead us down those obscure tunnels before us to that one in the end and out. That guiding light, for Sikhs, and anyone, is our everlasting Guru- Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. A Gianiji (Sikh Priest) once dictated a story at the end of Kirtan and described our Guru Granth Sahib Ji with an elusive analogy as a Candle. A large Candle that is everlasting and can pass on Its light to seeking candles, he explained. Those candles already lit can consequently light others and the trail continues. The analogy was really intriguing and led me into a spell of thought for days. “Why a candle” I wondered. Well, candles exemplify spirituality, simplicity and selflessness. They’re also used in good times and bad times: Our Guru guides us and provides us with light also in good times and bad times. Guru Granth Sahib Ji, the first Candle, had to have been lit somehow by a flame and possibly by another Source. The commonly used source we use to light the first candle is the use of a match stick. God must have been the one who struck the match stick to light the wick of this Candle. The Gurus and composers were His matchstick and just like that struck flame at the tip of the matchstick which slowly grows larger, their teachings slowly shone and expanded to a point of certain size of empowerment before it could provide the flame to light the wick of this Candle. When we have one candle lit by a match we usually use it to light others, if any, with it instead of using another match. This can perfectly relate what the Gianiji said about our Guru Granth Sahib Ji being a large candle, passing Its light to those seeking candles. We can seek Its “Fire” -Its power, energy, teachings and light and once we do this we can share this Fire to others, brightening up their lives by teaching them on what has been learnt, lighting up a spark if not a flame by advising them to do so themselves-lighting up may entail a personal initiative. We can be a candle and can do so by seeking, assimilating the teachings and remaining close to our Guru - knowing that illumination from a candle is brightest closest to It and murky further away. Our Guru is an everlasting Candle, a Candle with an infinite supply of wax to keep the light burning on. We need some of This wax for our soulful string. Without a constant supply we could quickly quiver in a wavy fading manner and extinguish: left to nothing but dark smoke elevating and disappearing in the air, without direction. Remember also that a flame comprises of different shades of colour generally going from darker shades to lighter ones towards the apex of the flame. The base of a flame is usually larger, while the tip is usually sharp and thin, insinuating the levels of progression through shades and stages we have to advance through once lit and the fewer numbers who make it to higher stages-which we should respect and seek after. It is also wise to realise that the apex is most the stage of complete purity and we might not reach there, but it’s okay. As long as we become an established candle our light will gradually grow, just like that dying out candle- contextualizing a growing faith and in perspective to death, this growth may display our spirit about to transcend for a reconciliation with God. With this to say, in the end, if you follow this Candle I’m sure you’ll end closer to the light at the end of the tunnel, if not completely there and will not be left with the awe of being haunted by the tunnel not taken. -by Pavanraj Singh Chana

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Greek God Graffiti

Spanish street art duo Pichi & Avo have created an awesome blend of ancient greek sculpture with traditional graffiti. I love how the grey in the sculptures pop with the colour of the graffiti. 

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Beautiful Diwali lit BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir , Nairobi. Forest Road. #mandir #bapsshriswaminarayanmandir #nairobi #temple #lights #colours #beautiful #diwali #kenya #hindu

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That's one piece! An amazing African sculpture with a twisty witty play of infinity. #sculpture #art #furniture #infinity #onepiece #africanart #african #furniture #piece #home

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Final did a long over due Joker tribute sketch. #joker #heathledger #darkknight #rip #sketch #penshading #pen #dark #card #art #nawden #batman

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Ze colours strike again :D! #ZoomIntoPatterns | #ZoomIntoLife @samsungmobileke #colours #photo #transition #pattern #art #photo #kenya

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Arsenal!!! #coyg #arsenal #facupchamps #livethedream

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Lake Victoria. Origin of the Great Nile. #Kenya #Kisumu #lakevictoria #lamp #lake #blue #beautiful

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Yesterday's sunset. Perfect end to the day eh? #kenya #kisumu #sunset #beautiful #colorful #epic

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"Time" took some time. Right side #art #sketch #penshading #time #instaart #pen #blackandwhite #drawing #hourglass #sunandmoon #kenya #clock

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"Time" took some time. Right side #art #sketch #penshading #time #instaart #pen #blackandwhite #drawing #hourglass #sunandmoon #kenya #clock