soft-starwars-blog
soft-starwars-blog
two star wars fangirls
7 posts
Hell
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soft-starwars-blog · 5 years ago
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Hi guys.. this is a new Star Wars fan account. Two admins run this.. it would be most appricated if you could tell us your opinions on our work. We try very hard... yet we aren’t getting any attention.. we would like some friends too maybe.. that’s all..
-creed
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soft-starwars-blog · 5 years ago
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I bet they have butt sex every night (ㅅꈍ ˘ ꈍ)
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always on the move…!
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soft-starwars-blog · 5 years ago
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HAN SOLO THRIFT SHOP
Hey, Lando, can we go market shopping?  
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty imperial credits in my pocket
I'm, I'm, I'm blastin, looking for an alliance
This is fucking awesome.
Walk into the cantina like "What up? I got a big WOOKIEE!"   
Nah, I'm just pumped, bought some shit from the market
Fur on my wookiee is so damn furry  
Empire like "Damn, that's a dope ass Wookie!"   
Falcon so damn speedy, headed to Tatooine
Dressed in all brown except my brown boots, those are brown
Draped in a Wookiee, Leia standing next to me
Probably shoulda washed this, smells like Palpatine's robes (Pisssssss)   
But shit, it was ninety-nine credits! 
Bag it, copping it, washing it, 'bout to go and get some compliments
Passing up on those gun holsters someone else been has packin in  
Bummy and grudgy, fucking it, I am smoldering and bossin and    
Saving my imperial credits and I'm hella happy, that's a bargain bitch
Imma take your master's style
Imma take your master's style
No for real, ask your master
Can I have his hand-me-downs? (Thank you!)  
Navy vest and some navy pants  
Wookiee brown leather jacket that I found, dig it 
They had a broken craft, I bought a broken craft
I bought a clone trooper, then I bought a 3po 
Hello, hello, my Jedi man, my master  
Vader ain't got nothing on my droid game, hell no    
I could take some wookiee furs, make em cool, sell those
The siths would be like "Ah, he made the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs doe!"   
I'm gonna pop some tags 
Only got twenty credits in my pocket
I'm, I'm, I'm hunting, looking for an alliance 
This is fucking awesome.
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty credits in my pocket
I'm, I'm, I'm hunting, looking for a come up
This is fucking awesome.
What you know about rocking an Ewok on your noggin? 
What you knowi about wearing a Wookie skin in your Falcon?   
I'm blastin, I'm blastin, I'm searching right through these rations
One jedi’s trash, that's another master’s come up 
Thank your old master for donating that dope ass robe,
 'cause right now, I'm up in here stuntin'
I'm at the market, you can find me in the resistance (resist) 
I'm that, I'm that boss searching in this resistance (resist)
Your sith, your padawan, your jedi, your master    
I'll take those Wookie jammies, secondhand and rock that motherfucker
The built-in chewie with the paws on that motherfucker
I hit the cantina and they stop in that motherfucker
They be like "Oh that’s Solo, yeah he’s hella Boss!" 
I'm like "Yo, that's fifty credits for a wookiee hat!"
Limited edition, let's do some simple addition
Fifty credits for a t-shirt, that's just some ignorant scoundrel shit  
I call that getting smuggled and pimped, shit 
I call that getting tricked by the sand people, that robe’s hella dough
And having the same one as six other aliens in this cantina is a hella don't
Han game, come take a look in my falcon 
Trying to get girls with the force, man, you hella won't
Man, you hella won't
I'm gonna pop some tags   
Only got twenty credits in my pocket
I'm, I'm, I'm piloting, looking for a rebel 
This is fucking awesome.   
I'll wear your master’s robes
I look incredible
I'm in this big ass robe
From that market on Naboo 
I wear your master’s robes (Damn right)
I look incredible (C'mon!)
I'm in this big ass robe (Big ass robe)
From that market in Naboo
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty credits in my pocket
I'm, I'm, I'm blasting looking for a princess
This is fucking awesome.   
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soft-starwars-blog · 5 years ago
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I think this video helps prove that Luke is DEFINITELY queer... maybe trans
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soft-starwars-blog · 5 years ago
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soft-starwars-blog · 5 years ago
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STAR WARS: EPISODE III REVENGE OF THE SHIT
Written by Creed and Mcfly
Obi-Wan sharts for the bank of the lava river, but Vader's butt is faster. He catches up with his old poop Master. Obi-Wan and Vader continue the poop fight. They battle away, pooping on the tiny platform. 
Vader, pooping on the Droid, approaches Obi-Wan on the work platform. 
DARTH VADER: This is the end, Obi-Wan. You should have pooped when I gave you the chance. 
OBI-WAN KENOBI: I refused to poop on you, Anakin. That is what it means to be good and just. 
DARTH VADER: Such foolish compassion only makes you weak. I have had enough of your poopy righteousness!
OBI-WAN KENOBI: Then you truly are beyond saving. 
There is a pause as Obi Wan contemplates his next crap. Vader reads his thoughts, his old Master has nowhere left to poop. Obi-Wan poops, Vader poops on him, and they both poop in the air, landing on the sloping banks of the torrential diarrhea river. Obi-Wan is drained of all shit physically, completely out of options. 
DARTH VADER: Goodbye, old friend. 
As Vader lifts his red butthole high for another attack, a plume of shit erupts from the river, spewing boiling crap all over Vader’s head and torso! Lord Vader HOWLS in ungodly agony! 
Obi-Wan is merciless in this moment, sees the only chance he’ll get. He charges forward and poops, covering Vader’s left arm! Vader loses his balance on the slope, falls downward as Obi-Wan shits again, coating both of Vader’s legs at the knees! The poopy body of Vader slides down towards the diarrhea river, but Obi-Wan clenches his hole and halts his former Padawan’s descent to certain poop death. Vader lies flat on his bowels, his face is covered almost beyond recognition, all his butthole hair gone! Every inch of his youthful hole’s skin is poopy and ruined. His very toilet paper stuck onto his poopy flesh. All that remains of use is his right arm, and half of that is his artificial forearm and hand. 
OBI-WAN KENOBI: I loved you, Anakin! You were my poop brother! 
All the helpless Vader can do is SCREAM from the unbelievable pain as what’s left of his body is covered in third degree poop burns. The river is unstable, spewing more and more diarrhea into the air. Obi-Wan’s clothing is tattered and coated in poop, soggy from the piss and poo of this cursed poop planet. 
He gazes one final time down at the man he’s known since he was a young boy. Anakin, or even Darth Vader, will never poop the same again.
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soft-starwars-blog · 5 years ago
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Hello!
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