someplacehigh

[someplacehigh]

shoutout to people with disability who struggle with showering, brushing teeth "basic" hygiene tasks. we aren't "gross" or bad we just need help and that's okay

[someplacehigh]

would anyone really notice if i went missing?

[someplacehigh]

I genuinely mourn the person I could have been.

[someplacehigh]

My trauma currently has me in a loop of three mental states:

- EVERYTHING IS DANGER PANIC PANIC PANIC

- where am I what is this body im controlling

- child that bawls their eyes out and needs to be held at any slight inconvenience

[someplacehigh]

My quote.

instagram | ko-fi | message me

[someplacehigh]

I’m not really an artist but I’ve been trying to draw my emotions lately.

[someplacehigh]

[someplacehigh]

i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone. i’m alone.

[someplacehigh]

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

[someplacehigh]

[someplacehigh]

[someplacehigh]

I know it fucking sucks but keep going!! Out of spite out of anything. It’s fucked up that ur friends are treating ur BPD as nothing. Suicide is never nothing. You deserve the world and better friends. The world is better in some way because you’re in it. I’m really sorry that I don’t know you and can’t be more specific, but I’ve been there and I know it’s horrible but just. Keep going please.

Thank you so much for your kind words, I really needed this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️

[someplacehigh]

I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am.I̷͓͇̔̌̎̾̀̇́̀͘ ̴̡̰̙͔͓͎̖̹̭̾̆h̷̛̘̤̋͋͐̈́́́a̶̢̱̼̰̹͍̻͇̳͖̽̄͗̍t̴̨̪̪̗̉ẽ̷̺́͆ ̶̛̞̩̫̖̗̙̗̬̆̊͆̍̓̃̀͐e̸̫͓͕̜͇̼̜̰̲̾̿̓̅̅̕ͅv̷̼̄̔ę̷͙͕͕͑͂̒͠r̵̞̂̋̿͐̓͒͑̄̑ẏ̸̛̹̰͎͊̉͗̅́̅͐̈́t̴̪̥̝̆̌̑͐́͐͂͝h̴͕̰̳̣̻̭̫̩̟̒į̷̯̼̙͓̬̬̹͖̈́̏̃̏̆̈́́̌n̸̹̣͉̽̌͗̄̽̈́̈́̐͂g̵̨͖̣̥̥̥̭̘͑̔͛̈́̏͝ ̶̧̤̩͙̝̻͍͖̖̃͒͊͗̆̔̆͜͝I̷̢̛͍͖̗̺͇̭̼̓̀͊͗͛̊̿ ̴̟͔͆͌̋̐̃̎̈́͘ǎ̵̟̍̍͘m̴̡̛̞̺̻̰̯̔ͅ.̶̞͈̿̓̽̉͘ ̴̭̈͐̽I̸̢̞̱̮͓̜̫͙̿͘ͅ ̵̡̤̯̰̦̳̠͚̩̉̔̈̎̊̋͂͠h̷̖̫̹̫͊́́̃̚ą̷͚̞͇̻̤͖̩̦͎̑̈́͌̀̉͋̓̏́͝t̴̢̧̰͚̼̰͙͆̌͊̄̈̋̂͘ẽ̶̛͉̯̏͒͌̆̕̕ ̴̥͎̣̗̗͓͗͆̃͛̽͗́̏ẻ̷̫̥̮͎̠̰͓̽̏̀ṿ̵̽̎̂̓̇̎e̸̡̡̧̛͔̘̥̮͙͍̞̋̑̔̂̂̾̈́̏̕r̵̼̮̙̟͍̙͓̹̔̾̆́͜y̵̨̢͖͘ţ̷̮̘͚̻͔̝̳̰̥͂̌h̶̢̜͎͍̎ǐ̵̛̩͙͔͕̖͈̰̣̍̃̚̚n̶̛͓̦͍͉̩̳̦̻͆̃́̃̓́̚g̴͈̪̺̬̰͇̝̉̆̌̐̿̒̀̚ͅ ̴̖͔͔̒͒͗͌̓̈́̕͝ͅḮ̵͇̻͙̌̀̃̐ ̷̛͚͓͒̌̾͝a̸̧͇̘̬̩͂̾m̷̼͖̀̓̿̐͆͋̊̚.̷̡͚̩̘̝͚͚̮̑͛̈̿̋ ̴͙̮̰͇͕̑̏ͅĮ̴̟͔̙̗̱̱͑͑̓̊̔̾̋͝ ̵̨̟̲̤̫̼͍̤͎͆̈́̈͋̓̇̏͠h̵̺͉͔̙͎̖̳̙̑̈́͝á̵̧̱̯̲͈̈̉͐̐͗̀͝ţ̴̺͈̼͎͚̼́̒̓̈́e̷̩͎̯̚ ̸̨̡͇̻̺̰̑̎̕͝e̶̠͈̫̪̭͗̐̀ͅv̴̢̰̣̦̯͙̪̑̃͘ȅ̶̼͚̎͆̈̀̓͋͊͜ŕ̷̞͕̪̹̼͊̚͜͠ỹ̵̰̭̺̖̦͙̟̜̈́͋̀̃͘͠͝ṱ̵̡̢͙̹͈̻̤̥̀̃̈́̈́̽̓̚̕ḣ̵͈̰̈́͒į̶͍̖̲̬̦̠͗̑̃́̌̄͆̅͝͝ͅṇ̴͔͖̰̫͙̞̙̖͗̀̇͝g̴͙̼̤͕̤̘͒͋͊̅͘ ̴̨̲̺̦̠̫͔̞͍͐̽̂͊͂̑͆Ī̸̡̠͓͇͈͚̗ͅͅ ̷̦͕͈̣̠̩̌͗ͅa̸̡̨̻͙͚͇͇̝͚͗̃̐ḿ̸̡͇̲̥̭̤̝̈́.̶͚͔̗̝̯̪͗̀̐̉͝ ̶͍̹̣̠͋Ị̴̥͚͇͌́̀̊ ̷̛̠̞̯͓̺̱̤̽̆̈́̂͋͗͘̚ḩ̵̤͇͖̳̥̆̅̋̄a̵̝̽͛̈́ţ̶͎̠̯̖̥͖̠̼͙́͒̏̿̚͠e̶̜̒̈̋̀ ̸̡̧̫̥̱̖͔͚͊̑̏ę̷͓͙̥̙͇͖̞̆̀̀ͅv̸̡̨̛̗͕͔͒̈̋̏̑͊̀́ͅé̸̛̗̻̟̩̝̠̮͌̑̏̌͂̚̕r̵̞̗̫̖̫͗́̀̅̂̈́ȳ̵̗̗͗̒̓̈͐ẗ̵̢͙͍̜̦́̂͒̚ȟ̵̢̢̰̯̥͈̳̓͜i̴͈̮̇n̷͈̹̬̮̄̋̕͜g̶̨͇̫̯͕̥̤͛̐͆̊̿ͅͅ ̵̧̦̦̠̦̟̭̱͐̆͐̿Ĩ̸̳͇̲̱̏͊̓̚ ̶̨̱͕̰̟͔̂̾͋͂̐̾̒ͅą̴̘̈́m̶̙͚̠̞̱͈̅.̷͔̮̼̟̬̤͋͂̋͑͑͋͒̇̆͊ ̴̨̲̮̣̹̠͚̰̦̎̀̊͐͠͝ ̷̫͕͉͇̮͂͊I̷̡̙̟̼̼͉̗͇̗̝͒́̉ ̷̧̢̛̜̲̹͔̼̠̻͙̇͋́̊̕h̶̡͍̬̘̺͓̃̉̋͒̓á̷͔̺̞̣̺̜ͅt̶̳͈̘̏ͅe̸̢̞͛̃̓̕ ̵̧̝̼͓̥̓͝e̵͚͇̣͔͈̾͋̈́̂̄͐̔̚v̵̫͈̥̲̰̮̯̰͐̕̕͝è̷̼̓̉̂̆̌̓̕ṛ̴͉̳͈͈̂̂̃͜͜͝y̶̯̲̳̙̟̳̩͎̪̲̑̑̄̕̕t̵̨̡̻̺̮̹̫̭͈̥̾͗͆̂̏͑h̵̼͈̜̩̪̹̣͎͕̉̾į̷̳̝̝̮͕̮̀̎̓͑̋̽̑͝ņ̴̨̹͇̠͆͊̍̅̌̽͒̌̈g̶̗̥͉̮̀͂͐̒̆̂̄ ̸̗̻̪̺̈́̎I̵̼̫̞͕͕̱͔͓̬͉̿ ̴̹͗̈́͗͆ȃ̵̞̹̮͂̂̆ͅḿ̷̡̪̲̩̾͐̏̕.̴̢͓̤͚̠̥̪̣̐̀̍͆̋͆̑̉͗̃ ̷̧̩̽̐̋̽̅̃̀Ị̴̺̞͚͚̪̘̣̳͑ ̸̨͓̯̲̤͂̇̃̾̈̇̋̕͠h̴̡̙̬̪̰̱̫͙͍̑̓͑ͅa̶̩̝͔̞̦̤̣͎̯͑̌͗̒͊̍̇t̵͖͕̲̹̿̄̌͋́̿̄̐͐͜e̸͕̱̳̙̓͒̈͛̐͒̓ ̴̧̻̩̥̠̹̳͗̿̊̂̋̀̐̒ͅe̸͍̺̘͉̬̲̰̞̰̝̽͋̈̈́̈́̐̌̕̚͝v̶͎̻͍̏͒é̷̱̥̯̈́̌̓͘r̵͕̭̜̗̅̍̅̀̄͜͜͝y̸̢̮͕͕̜͍͎͍̫͛̈́̈͜͝ẗ̵̝͖͎͎̜̟̜́̆͜͝ḩ̵͚͔̿̓̏̍͝i̸̧̜͚̖͆͛̈́́͛̚n̶͎̟͙̲̗̯̫̱̲̔̊̑́͗̾g̸͉̓͂̐̒ͅͅ ̵̯̠̬̞̤̗̲̠̇̎̇̚Ǐ̵̢͓̻͎͕͕̓̄͒̌ ̶̧̢̲̜͔̝͇̭̇̉̎̊̈́̀̆͆͘͝a̸̹̥̥̞̝̹͐̒̓̊͆͜m̶̢̠̮̙͕͍̳̊̿̈͝ͅ.̷͚̝̻̝͖̬̎̑̕̚͝͝ͅ ̶̌́ͅI̸̢̻̟̲̥̻̠̓̑͑́̄̓͝ ̴̗̣̣̱̻̻̰̠̆̇́́͒̈́̐̚h̵̛̞͋̈́̑̽͋̈́̂͒̕ä̸̧͇̭͕̺́̏̎̾̕̕ẗ̷̡̳͕̠͉̬̖͕̟͚̈́͆e̸̛̛̹͎͖̔́̾̂̀̿̋͂ ̴̡̛͍̬̋̀̐̏̓́͐͛e̴̠̲̺̬̥̫̲͖͋̀͂͌̐̃̈́͊͜ṿ̷̧̼̫̟̈́͑́̔̽ę̵̲͕͇̩̞͐͗̈́̑͒̓̾̅͘r̴͔̖̻̾̄̿̚ÿ̴̫́͂̈ͅt̴̼̘̦͝h̷̦̙͚̜͓͚̱͊͛̇͑͆̐̒͘ͅǐ̴̡̹̆͑̄̌ņ̴͉̳̣̌͐̐̽̓͗͘g̴̛̼̲̰̀̊͑̆̚͘ͅ ̷̧̧̪̟̻͆̀͗̎͗̐̉I̵̠̖̓̄̂ ̶̢̛̳̮̇͗̅͌̾͜a̶̢͈͓̰̒̿̃̈́̀͐̏̓̿͜͝m̴̟̪̘̻̓̈́.̶̛̥͍̘̠̲̹̇͆̏̒̎̒̈̌ ̵̲͔̬̪̝͎̱̳͒̄̆̋̅́̅̔̕͝I̷̮̱͕͂̇̔͊̈͂͒ ̴̥͙̲̩̻̗͙͐̑̊̓̀̆̃̏͛͜ḩ̴̡̱̼̓̆͛̎̔a̴͈͎͍̻̦̜̰̭̥̐̑̒̊̒ͅt̷̖̩͊͐̆̇̅̈e̸̡̟̰̮̔͋̄̈͊̎̃̕͘ ̷̤̻̈́̄̌̐̾̏̀̚̕̕e̷̠̞͉̘͚͐̔̓v̷̨̞̔e̶̳͕͍̐̓͆͑͛͐̚͜r̴͙͚̅̎y̵̧̨̥̪̳̠͑̉̐̑̄͐͋̿̊͜͜t̸̨̧̹́͌̃̑̊͋̿͝ḫ̵̛͍͔̞̣̻̊͒̈́́̿̄̌͝i̷̧̡̢̦̮̟̯͌͋͐̀̌̚͜͝ṋ̷̲͐̐͘g̸̨̡͚̱̻͙͈̽̀̍̏̊̚ ̵̱̭̠̘̘͙̣̼͕̲͗͋̄I̶̧͕̞͔̘̮̦̱̗̟͌̔̀͘ ̶̼͎̕a̶͇̪͉͈̲̻̓̀͗͐̇̎͝m̵̧̧̹̳̖̃.̸̯͔̯͓̮̲̆̃̍͒̈͆̓̉͜ ̵̲͖̝̈͑͋̔͋̍̐͘̕͝I̵̼̮̳̲͎̋̅͂́́̒̌̍̊̀ ̶̲̞͎͙̱̯̥͔̟̠̿̉̏̓͠h̵̢̧̳̮̖̥̩̥̙͈̿̎͆̀́̌͂̍ȧ̸̡͇͙͙͔̟̙̰͒̈́̉̓͘t̶̪̥͎̻̕e̷̗͚̰͎͖͗̆̋͗͊̐̉ͅ ̸̢͙̝͙͔̪͔̩̗̈̈́̐̔̒̂ề̶̢͖̯̣̦̱͚̪̥͍̀̽́v̸̪̌̄̀̒̂́̂̆è̵͔̰͛̀̃͌̀̀̀́ŗ̶̙̱̮̩͇̩͕̭̬͂͌͑̅̍̃̈́̅ý̷̢̡͍̟̝̣̤̰̌̽̓̊͂͘͝͠͝t̴̯͒̂ḫ̶̛̹̣̹͙̼̤͔̽͂̓̇̃͘͠͝͠i̸̡̫̹̝̹̥͖̬͍͂̀ṉ̷̹̞̓̉̎ͅg̷̢̛̭̝͙̰̳͎̲͍̳̽̉̑̂̃̑͆ ̸̡̡̡̧̮̱̯̥̆ͅḮ̷̜͉ ̶̨̥̫͈̟̺̰͚͑a̵̜̟̥͔̥͐͗̉̋̅͆͂̃͊̾͜m̵̛̭̹̱̝̯̮̫͆͆͊̅͋.̷̢̻͈͑͋̃̈́͊̑̎̃͘̚͜ ̷̲͕̲̝͎͒̑̐͌̎͛͊̍̿ ̸̨̛̖͉͙̫̬̓͑̉̇̃̐Ĭ̷̺͍̟͙̜̿̈́͊̐͜͝ͅ ̸̧̢͖̲͎͈̥̄̓̄h̷̥͎͈̉̀͝a̷̡͇͎̽́̑̑͌̔͝t̷̨͓̾̈͊̀͑̿͛̓́ȇ̷̖̈̐͝͝ ̵̙͇̻͎̺̭̉͑̉̽́̋͛̕ȩ̸̬͔̝̱͆̽̇ͅv̶̧͈͈͓̻̟̣͖̬̑́̕̕͜e̶̮̼̻̜̮̫͎̊̑̑̄́͜ͅr̵̝̔̄̓y̴̭̯̅̈́̇͑̄̃͗͜t̷̼̦̫̳̝̫͒̄́͂ͅḩ̴̥͋̃͠î̵̗̘͍̫̜͙̼͇̏̂͋̆̈́͒͘͠n̴̳̫̜̩̠̮͈͝g̷̤͍̮̋͗̏ ̴̛̛̝̯̞̲̳̩͔͍̩̃̉̐͛̋̽̚͜Í̶̝͖̤̳̲͓̄͐̉̏̒̔̏̕͜͝ ̵̳̭͚͎̉̓̽̂̽̏̐̕͝a̸̡̲̪͑̅̊̔̂͂̏̈͠m̷̡̧͖͚̼͎̗̞̅̀̓͜.̷͓͓̞́͐̓͗͆͘͘ ̷̢̛͕̣͉̬̹͍̗̌͌̾̚̚̚I̸̗̩̱͖̩͋̓͝ ̷̫͕̰͇̱̭͚̭̌͛ḧ̸̙̜̥̥̭̖̀̑͐̌̑̇͑ǎ̷̟̥̦̣̈́͋̐͊́̚͝t̵̨̫̮̥̥͑̾͒̊͗̍̋̽͝͠ę̵̟̥͕̤̩̿ ̴̧̨̤̥̈́̃̾̅̓͊͌͑̀��̹̬̰̩e̴͔͍̖͂v̶̢͍̰̪̥̜̟̜̹͉̑́̈́e̶̦̺͕͎̱̗̜̹͉̒̃ŗ̵͈̞̝͖̄͒̓̽̍͆͠y̶̧̬̙̥̰̼̬̩̌̓̾̄t̷̨̙̲͚̥̱̳̘̓̄̎͒̐͑̉̄̚h̸̢̧͍̦̙̔͑̊͠į̷̱̘̹͍̈́̌̈́ń̵͔̥̾̕g̶͓͓͙͚͔̭̯̰̳͆̆̆̄ ̵̙̰͎̘̑͑̍̈́̒́I̵͓͉̺̦̱͕̻̞̿̋̾̀̇͌ ̷̛̼̺̖̂̆́͊̄̓̍̿̏á̷̢̜̥̳̯̪̦̐̐̓m̸̧̜̠̪͈͚̣̪̮̗͐̏͑̔̋̽̄͒̒̽

[someplacehigh]

Did anyone else’s friends completely change how they react to you feeling suicidal once they found out you have BPD? I don’t really get any support now, just a vague reminder that I’m just ‘experiencing a period of emotional intensity’ and ‘it will pass like it has done before’. Well I’ve reached the end of my fight, I’ve been feeling this way for far too long, fuck calling this a BPD episode. Im genuinely done with all of this. I’ve been ill for so long, I’m done with fighting.

[someplacehigh]

I hate how no one takes me seriously when they know I have BPD. If I tell them I’m feeling suicidal they tell me I’m a just experiencing a period of emotional intensity and that it will pass, no one understands that I’ve been SO unhappy for SO long and I’ve reached the end of my fight.

[someplacehigh]

unfortunately for the both of us, i really like you

[someplacehigh]

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired