somethingsomethingstarward

[somethingsomethingstarward]

okay this is the most specific quibble to have with a voiceline but.

so sunday's ult line is "i will walk with you, watch over you, and guide you on your path." suitably dramatic!

but every single time i hear it, my brain expects "guide you on your way."

and like. i know nothing about translation, but in terms of just the english dub, i'm 90% sure that's actually a better option, one because of the alliteration, and two for me specifically so i can be insane about "the steep and thorny way to heaven." but no! it's not way! it's path! and every time I hear it, i'm like, it's "guide you on your way," right? and it's not!!

[somethingsomethingstarward]

you know what i really wish they'd done with rappa?

i wish they'd actually leaned in to what it does to a person, when the only way you can interpret the world is through a fantasy. because the only way we ever see rappa understand anything with that ninja lens over it. we're not the trailblazer, we're baseball bat ninja. dr. primitive isn't dr. primitive, he's evil ninja osaru.

and there's nothing inherently bad about that--but rappa can't put it down. even if on some level she understands that it's all fake, she can't engage with the reality of the world, not even to process her own experiences or communicate with other people. we see what happened to her because we go into her memories, but i have to wonder--in a situation where we couldn't do that, would she be able to communicate the ways which she was hurt? would she have been able to tell us?

but the story never really leans into that. we see maybe a little bit of it in the event with the band, where she keeps calling band members by ninja names even when they explicitly ask her not to. but in the present-day events of the story, the disconnect is never really relevant. we get her whole backstory, but we never get to see her make a choice, in the present, that is informed by these things. we never see the consequences of that backstory.

there is a cost, when you must filter the world through this lens in order to interpret it. and you can take that a lot of different directions: maybe she does struggle to understand or confront what happened to her and the ninja identity is a way to avoid processing that, or maybe the ninja identity is how she's processed that and she's fine with it but it makes communicating with people harder. there are options!

but the point is: there is a cost. whether it's a deliberate act or not, whether she knows it's fake or not, there is a cost to interacting with the world in this way. and i wish they'd shown us, in more than just a flashback, what it's costing her.

[somethingsomethingstarward]

WHERE did robin learn to DJ

[somethingsomethingstarward]

OOOOOO okay but that IS so fun- i think you're right about re-releases fully switching path and archetype, and moving topaz into erudition/destruction feels like a fun way to do that! i think the way she works now, she's a sub-dps who works best when she's supporting someone else, and so in terms of team role it'd be fun to see what she looks like if that coin falls one way or the other: either she becomes a full fledged main-dps in her own right, or she switches fully into support and starts directly buffing other teammates. and i do love the idea of her scaling off other buffers- something like march 7th's hunt technique maybe, where every time a character uses a skill on another ally, she stacks a buff? could get interesting! game design has never quite been my forte, but maybe if i have time i'll sit down with a word document and see what i can smush together, could be a fun experiment :D

here's the thing. 90% of the time my take on topaz's canon storyline is "it could be so good, but they're never going to actually let her quit her job or do anything that requires her to really change, because that would require a major design overhaul." like, she'd need new voicelines, new idles, probably a new design, and you can't do that to an already-existing character that people have paid money to get. and if you just release a topaz & numby 2, that just feels like cheating the people who, again, already paid money.

but you know what they could do that would be incredibly, insanely cool?

give her that storyline. let her break free of the ipc, let her finally reckon with the fact that maybe the ipc is not actually helping her do good in the world and maybe she needs to walk away from them, let her have that character arc with all its requisite change

and then when you release the 5-star version, call her jelena.

like, give her a new kit entirely. make her for all intents and purposes a new character, because she almost is one at that point! without the ipc she certainly can't be topaz anymore! maybe even come up with a reason why numby can't run around in the overworld with her anymore? just make her distinctive enough and i think you can get away with it. and, from someone who's at least somewhat invested in topaz-- personally, i would go absolutely insane for a "call me jelena" moment and a new design representing that character arc, even if it still is basically another 5-star.

anyway mihoyo if you're looking for writers please just send me the application form--

[somethingsomethingstarward]

here's the thing. 90% of the time my take on topaz's canon storyline is "it could be so good, but they're never going to actually let her quit her job or do anything that requires her to really change, because that would require a major design overhaul." like, she'd need new voicelines, new idles, probably a new design, and you can't do that to an already-existing character that people have paid money to get. and if you just release a topaz & numby 2, that just feels like cheating the people who, again, already paid money.

but you know what they could do that would be incredibly, insanely cool?

give her that storyline. let her break free of the ipc, let her finally reckon with the fact that maybe the ipc is not actually helping her do good in the world and maybe she needs to walk away from them, let her have that character arc with all its requisite change

and then when you release the 5-star version, call her jelena.

like, give her a new kit entirely. make her for all intents and purposes a new character, because she almost is one at that point! without the ipc she certainly can't be topaz anymore! maybe even come up with a reason why numby can't run around in the overworld with her anymore? just make her distinctive enough and i think you can get away with it. and, from someone who's at least somewhat invested in topaz-- personally, i would go absolutely insane for a "call me jelena" moment and a new design representing that character arc, even if it still is basically another 5-star.

anyway mihoyo if you're looking for writers please just send me the application form--

[somethingsomethingstarward]

Get onstage. Fear not. Never look back

lake19907 on twitter // Kakavasha Cutscene | Honkai Star Rail JP Dub by Zenki Ch. // Double Indemnity, Honkai: Star Rail Wiki // n1ntendos on tumblr //eye button by jaris heese (via snailspng on tumblr) // All the Sad Tales, Honkai: Star Rail Wiki // Aventurine Eidolon 5 // strongerpotions on twitter // dogs! by danez smith // Aventurine's Cornerstone // Crybaby by alonesomes on tumblr

[somethingsomethingstarward]

Portraits

Retouched this set from last year, because it was haunting me laying there 80% finished

[somethingsomethingstarward]

so like. here is the thing, about topaz and complicity.

i think topaz knows, on some level, what she's doing. i think she is at least aware of the fact that the ipc is not always good or kind, and that sometimes their "help" isn't help at all, and she chooses to advocate for accepting that help anyway. i think she knows that jade ruins lives just as much as she benefits them, and even knowing that, she still looks up to and admires jade. she might not know the full extent of the ipc's crimes, or exactly what oswaldo schneider's done, but i think she does know that bad things happen in the ipc--that the ipc does bad things--and she supports them despite that. her work enables the ipc to do its work, and the ipc's work has destroyed people. topaz justifies it to herself, but i think she recognizes that fact. i think in every way that matters, when it comes to what the ipc's done, topaz said yes.

because, in the only way that matters, she couldn't say no.

topaz has been an employee of the ipc since before she was old enough to even understand what that means. there's every possibility she's been an employee of the ipc since the day she was born. yes, she chose to jump in with both feet; yes, she chose to work her way up the ranks; yes, she chose to become one of their best employees, and ultimately, a stoneheart. but in that first choice--in the question of "do you want to work for the ipc or not"-- she didn't have a say at all.

humans don't do well when we don't have a choice in things. when we are stripped of agency, we turn on ourselves. it is painful, to not have control over our lives.

so i think topaz chooses to stay, because she can't choose to leave. and part of that is that the ipc did, in fact, save her. her planet was dying until they came in, brought it back to life, and offered her a way out. every opportunity she's ever had has come from the ipc, and everything she's experienced beyond her home planet is because of them. at this point, she's enmeshed: she's a stoneheart, she's one of their best employees, and they do in fact treat her well. and this is what she's found purpose in doing! it lets her do something she finds worthwhile and take care of her animals! part of it is that she does think the ipc allows people to do, on average, more good than bad, and she's established a place for herself with them. but i think another part of it is also that if she ever did try to leave, she would have to acknowledge that she can't. she does not have that power. there is no ending a lifelong contract with the ipc. and if she ever did say "i'm quitting and i don't want to do this anymore" . . . what would she do if they said no? what would they do to her?

yes, topaz is complicit. she's not just an ipc employee, she's one of their finest, and she's absolutely done things to people that range from questionable to actively life-ruining. she's a debt collector. but she's also someone who didn't have a say in signing away the entirety of her life to this company, and who has no way to meaningfully leave said company. she's an enabler of the ipc and she's a victim of it.

and i think she's lying to herself about it, because it's easier to tell yourself you had a say than to admit that you've been hurt. i think she tells herself she's making her own choices, because for the most part, she is--except for the fact that she's never had the choice to walk away, and if she ever tried she would find out just how much the ipc owns her.

because the thing about topaz and complicity is that there are perks to being a good employee. the ipc gave her a future. and as long as she never tries to leave, she never has to find out if they wouldn't let her.

[somethingsomethingstarward]

A little post-2.5 sequel to my last comic because the update destroyed me 😃

[somethingsomethingstarward]

“I promise you all… one day, I will be faster than the Reignbow's Lux Arrow. One day, we shall no longer have to witness the falling of stars.” “A doctor's life belongs to his patient. I cannot leave this world before she's cured.” “He says the general is his patient, but I think the general is actually his doctor.”

— ⟢ THE YAOQING ✧ FEIXIAO, JIAOQIU, and MOZE ⟣ —

[somethingsomethingstarward]

[somethingsomethingstarward]

hi i drew her

—

w/ my redesign but i updated some details here! this will keep happening probably

also thank you to everyone who interacted with my redesign post!!

[please don't repost]

[somethingsomethingstarward]

Topaz's Awareness

I feel like people don’t give Topaz enough credit on how aware she is about her surrounding… It is easy to think she just blindly believes the IPC is good, or that Jade means well based on what she states. But there’s some nuances that shows her thinking is far more complex than that.

For example, just in her character stories alone, she goes against IPC rules in what she doesn’t believe in. This is shown through her rebellious behavior of purposely failing the business formality exam, or going around the rule regarding pets.

She didn’t agree and found it won’t harm her if she didn’t listen exactly to those rules according to her contract. She also tries to beef up her reasoning by proving it won’t hinder her capabilities to get her job done, making it harder to question her “exclusion” to said rules.

In a way, despite being stuck in a lifelong contract, she seems to try and go around the system as much as possible to operate the way she believes instead of blindly following the rules set.

For someone who was molded at a young age, you would think she wouldn’t be this rebellious. Especially if she truly did think that the IPC is ultimately good (added: which she actually has never out rightly stated). It’s more like she believes you can do good in the company, and she tries to take advantage of it to try and do that.

There’s only so much she can do at the end of the day, as the IPC clearly has specific conditions and goals in mind she still has to follow. However, she tries her best to examine all parties involved and present a solution that tries to make majority happy or satisfied.

This showed quite a bit in her approach with Jarilo VI. She did start off rather roughly with her initially engagement. Though she backs off to be able to assess the planet, trying to find evidence and proof for the IPC to say they can get a better deal because they have more value.

During her talk with Svarog as well, she states that she went out of her way to do extra research on seeing if planets could recover on their own from a Stellaron, indicating the possibility of not needing the IPC’s help.

For someone who claims that the IPC can help, this little action of hers shows that she doesn’t necessarily agree with the company’s method and would rather them recover on their own without the deal as long as they have proof to backup the claim.

If the planet is able to recover on their own, why sign a deal with the IPC and possibly be put on a lifelong contract like her? Topaz goes out of her way to try and find proof that they can recover on their own. However, she states her results were all negative about that search.

Going into the end of the Jarilo VI’s case when Bronya reveals the Engine of Creation, Topaz genuinely takes into consideration that the planet has a chance to recover without the IPC, giving them her full support by even taking a demotion to her position to ensure they don’t sign a deal.

This only occurred though because the planet appealed to Topaz’s rational/logical (added: risk-averse) side with proof, something she seems to value when making decisions. Without proof, she can’t take the words at face value and treats it as a note to maybe consider with some skepticism.

Now, this leads to her dynamic with Jade. Her voice lines about her does hold her in high regards, but most of it talks about her business skills and support she can provide (with a hefty price). (Added: Note that this is only EN TL, which is inaccurate as in CN, she actually refers to Jade as a benefactor and not “nobility”.)

In a logical and business standpoint, Jade’s skills are widely known and similar to Topaz’s style of getting things done efficiently. Especially as her student of sorts, she takes her teachings of business but places her own twist to it by adding in her kindness as a factor.

However, despite seeming to “idolize” Jade’s achievements and skills, Topaz has made points to show that she is aware Jade is not exactly who she tries to present herself to be as. In 2.3, she reminds her team to not call Jade “big boss”, saying they would get punished if so.

It hints that she is aware that there’s more to Jade than what she shows, especially knowing that Jade didn’t want Topaz to see her negotiate with the Family after learning how greedy they were to try and push the IPC out.

It was further hinted as well that despite seemingly knowing Jade for a decent amount of time and even being mentored by her, Topaz creates this “distance” with Jade when interacting with her. She would stay very formal ironically to her, calling her “Madam Jade” instead of "Miss Jade" until told not to.

Even when Jade insists that they are equals and there’s no need for such titles, Topaz still mentions that Jade is her senior. Even during their other talks, Topaz seems to try and strictly keep their topics to business, seemingly a bit cautious when Jade brings up Aventurine.

This is really seen specifically when Jade mentions Topaz’s trust in him. She seems to divert the topic to her logical business reason to why she would bet her cornerstone in this mission. But the minute Jade seems to casually speak about Aventurine, Topaz tries to go back to business.

It shows that Topaz is mindful with how she should behave in front of Jade, not wanting to divulge more into personal topics and strictly staying professional. This hints that she is aware of Jade’s manipulation and tries to extract what she learns from her.

What I mean is, she takes Jade’s teaching with value in a business sense. She clearly remembers her lessons and how to approach negotiation well. However, she doesn’t follow all of it by heart, changing it according to what she believes in and how she adds kindness to it.

She does value what she can learn from Jade, as it helps her strive and excel in her goal of helping others. But she navigates cautiously and seems to keep her guard up when gaining knowledge. It’s similar to Aventurine where he knows about Jade, but values what he can gain from her.

This doesn’t even go into the Keeping Up with Star Rail trailer where Topaz was co-hosting. She has always been good at analyzing and assessing. But it’s interesting she mentions not to test Jade, even hinting she was close to being “swallowed” by the abyss while looking nervous…

Ultimately, I just think Topaz is far more complex than she presents herself to be. I really don’t think she is that blinded as her words make her out to be, and her actions do seem to be contradicting to that as well.

This is just how I’ve come to interpret her behavior as I found it really off despite her words. She makes for an interesting character to analyze.

Original Date of Posting on Twt/X: Jul 3, 2024

[somethingsomethingstarward]

in honor of our first male harmony, some back-of-the-napkin symbolism:

hey, where else have we seen someone catch a falling feather and reach for the sky? it's not the same pose, and the trailblazer is catching a feather that lands in their hand rather than reaching for the feather. but the first thing i thought of was in fact the cutscene before phase 2 of sunday's boss fight, when robin's feather floats down to us and we catch it and throw our hand up

the thorns come from below him, and they almost seem like they're pulling him down even as he reaches up. i could elaborate but you don't need me to tell you this man has an interesting relationship with religion and his own humanity

he's still got ena's eyes all over him (in his coat buckles, his upper arm brace, and the back of his glove, just to name a few) but, in his original model, the most prominent eye on his clothing is right in the center of his chest. in the new model, from what i can see, that area's covered by his closed coat, and i'm stretching here but there's something about sunday going from someone who wears ena's eye at the heart of him, who is so guided and so sure, to someone who keeps his heart covered- someone who is a little less confident and a little less certain but who is, at last, finding his own way

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If the two of them wanted to play a game of passing their blame around, then – in Moze’s honest opinion – there was a clear winner. Feixiao sighs, raises a hand to massage her temple. “As General, it's my responsibility-” she starts to say, before trailing off. Her pacing slows to a halt. “Jiaoqiu would call us fools if he saw us now.” And he would, wouldn't he?

first day of whumptober! today's prompt is search party.

[somethingsomethingstarward]

something kinda more experimental !! was kinda stagnant with this piece so i finally just went at it😖

[somethingsomethingstarward]

Through Running, to the Stars

After the last fic I posted half a year ago, I've finally put something else up onto AO3!

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Relationships: Aventurine/Topaz, eventual Aventurine/Topaz/Boothill

Summary: WANTED ALIVE: JELENA KOVAC WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: KAKAVASHA OF THE AVGINS Jelena Kovac, thief and information broker extraordinaire, has been on the run from the Interastral Peace Corporation for years. Being joined by Kakavasha, an Avgin refugee and fellow wanted outlaw, was a stroke of luck. But when an actual Galaxy Ranger shows up to try and collect? Well, maybe that luck’s run out. Or maybe, when they learn he shares an enemy with her, their good luck is only just beginning.

Because I can't picture the three of them working out the best as a ship with the IPC in the way, I've removed the IPC from the equation! Boothill hasn't shown up yet and likely also won't in chapter two but I swear, he's gonna be there eventually, and he's gonna be bisexual as all hell. They all are. Trust me, I'm holding myself back from rambling about the planned ending :)

I'm excited to finally start sharing one of my fics with the world, even if I did think that my Galladay ones would be first lol, I really love this au and this ship and I will go down with it like the stalwart captain of a historical navy vessel. Hope y'all like it and I can convert more people to this ship :D