Judging by the Russian in the description, the fancy dress and all the weed I've smoked, there has got to be a Russian oligarch on the shore with a bunch of guys with guns. All pointed at that nice woman in the fancy dress.
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But then he remembered that he’d made a date that morning for a fencing match with his brother Colin. Suddenly, skewering his brother sounded rather appealing, no matter that he’d had nothing to do with Benedict’s wretched mood.
That, Benedict thought with a grim smile as he pulled on his gear, was what brothers were for.
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"Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I'll always be in your heart... If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind".
- Unknown
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get naked
just kidding.
this is a half bath,
don't make it weird.
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Hello, it’s currently half-past I don’t give a fuck.
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Don: The Louvre
Don: Home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching.
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Dave: Ah! This tree has eyeballs! EYEBALL TREE!
Shawn: Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's me, Shawn. I camouflaged myself with mud and moss. I knew all of my cake-decorating skills would come in handy some day, haha!
--
Dave: Who orders a cake that looks like tree bark? I mean how many beavers celebrate their birthday?
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Shawn: Bakers have been hiding in plain sight, covered in icing camouflage, like, since the dawn of time. At least that's what my old boss at the bakery used to tell me. Mind you, he also said the pyramids were built by pastry chefs, so...
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Manolo: My father tells me you hate bullfighters
Chakal: I hate everybody
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Bertram: Oh, no.
Bertram: Feelings. Tears. Must hide !
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Jerry: What's happening?
Jerry: Appliances are breaking that I haven't touched.
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Goofy: *screams*
Donald: What’s the matter with you?
Goofy: I ain’t never seen you smile before.
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fishing relaxes me. it's like yoga, but i still get to kill something.
-Ron Swanson
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Ben: oh, who’s this an impression of? *mocking* oH, iM jOhN!
Martin: John.
John: *annoyed* Me.
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Assistant: You've got a 4:30 merchandising meeting.
Krusty: Cancel it!
Assistant: Therapist?
Krusty: Cancel it!
Assistant: Personal trainer?
Krusty: Cancel it!
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Rex: Man, do you just sit there and think to yourself, ‘Hey, what would an idiot say right now?’
Rex: And then that’s what you say.
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Kylo Ren: Well, how’d it go? I’d say pretty good.
Kylo Ren: Though I made four new friends and only killed one of them.
Kylo Ren: I’d say that’s a pretty good start. *weak thumbs up*
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Grandpa: *runs in with a wooden stake and a wooden hammer* Quick! We have to kill the boy!
Marge: How’d you know he was a vampire?
Grandpa: He’s a vampire? *runs away screaming*
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