sophergophergooseegg

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what is sub (like the food) short for? Subwich?

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Almonds are sinful

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in goofy voice* I did not have s-hyuck-ual relations with that woman

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let’s get the creative juices flowing, I say, as the windshield does the little squirt to get bird shit off the window

[sophergophergooseegg]

If I was a goose, I’d do the best honks

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dr pimple popper can do everything dr Phil does and more, plus she has hair. We’re gonna have to send her to the ranch

[sophergophergooseegg]

Peter B: my name is Peter with a B and I’ve been afraid of insects my entire life

Miles: where’s the B

Peter B: there’s a bee???

[sophergophergooseegg]

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, the spot has that Danny DeVito body with long legs

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When does yoghurt decide not to be milk?

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Pete Davidson looks damp and dry at the same time, I cannot tell if he needs a towel or moisturizer

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Papas pizzeria but 2008 recession version

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Strong lavagirl vibes

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a little kid just spit on me and act like it was this little secret. All I’m trying to do is eat some play dough, stop

[sophergophergooseegg]

So you’re telling me a saint johnned this baptist