spark-river

[spark-river]

at a retreat at the demon lords castle

*diavolo laying his head on lucifers lap as lucifer plays with his hair*

*mammon all snuggled up to barbatos as barbatos holds him looking even more relaxed that he usually is*

The brothers:

Asmodeus: When the demon king wakes up I will get with him.

[spark-river]

*On live TV*

Diavolo: I would just like to start by saying there have been… some rumors… about my personal life that I would like to settle once and for all

Diavolo: As my long-suffering fiancée can attest *puts an arm around Maddi*

Maddi: *Smiling at the cameras*

Diavolo: I am gay.

Maddi:

The brothers, watching the TV: 😧

Lucifer:

(Angry) Barbatos: 🙂

Diavolo: And I have also been seeing Lucifer for a couple months now

Lucifer: *Whispering to himself* Dammit Diavolo

[spark-river]

A very cold day

Mc: Dia, can you please transform to your demonic form?

Diavolo: Sure Mc *transforming* Why?

Mc: *rushing up to hug him* Ah, much better, so warm….

Diavolo: Ha, ha *happy* I see *covering them with his wings and hugging them* It's really cold today.

A very hot day

Mc: Barbatos could you-

Barbatos: *already transformed* Fu, fu, fu *opening his arms*

Mc: *rushing up to hug him* Ah~ how cool you are!

Barbatos: *rubbing his cheek with theirs* And you're warm, it's nice.

Lucifer: …

Mephisto: ...

Mephisto: Do you really think it is tolerable that a human is using our future king as a stove and the royal butler as a refrigerator?

Lucifer: I prefer not to answer… But Diavolo and Barbatos seem more than happy.

Mephisto: ... I have so many questions.

.

.

I am one of those who believe that demons have their internal body temperature depending on the type of demon they are, in this case Diavolo has a high body temperature and Barbatos has a low body temperature.

Thanks for reading 🩷

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[spark-river]

Mammon: Okay, but why does alchemy make like no sense?!

Solomon: It's very logical. You only have to throw a few things together and note what happens, like cooking!

Simeon, smiling tightly: Don't make me ban you from the lab too.

[spark-river]

Levi: You're cheating!

Mammon: Just because I'm better at you doesn't mean I'm cheating.

Satan, about to explode: We can literally see the zinc on your dice.

[spark-river]

Asmodeus: Let's do karaoke!

Lucifer: *coughing*

Belphegor: Your fun allergy kicking in?

Satan: That implies he even knows what fun is.

[spark-river]

Lucifer: You're disowned, son.

Mammon: First time he acknowledges your creation and you're already out of the will.

Satan: *About to burn something down*

[spark-river]

Asmodeus was in a foul mood. The cupcakes he had purchased were eaten by his younger brother. He spent most of the day venting to you, however, his frustration continued to grow. By the end of the school day, Asmodeus had gathered most of his other brothers and declared it time for a good old fashioned gossip session to ease his mind.

"Tell me the worst thing you've ever seen Beel eat," he demanded. "Satan, you go first."

"I saw him wrapping a chunk of mystery meat in bacon and sausage, slathering it with an entire bottle of sauce, then wrapping it in even more bacon and a new bottle of sauce. Over and over, until he had this big meaty rock," Satan explained. He had a faraway look in his eye. "It was too excessive. I couldn't even bring myself to watch him eat it."

"I know what you mean," Leviathan commiserated. "I've seen him devour eleven roasted shadow hogs in one sitting." He shuddered upon recalling the feat of pure gluttony. The image was burned into his mind.

"That's nothin'," Mammon told him. "I watched a train carryin' a boatload of frozen horror cherry pies derail. Beel ate 'em all off the tracks. Every last one. I can still hear him crunchin' on the rocks that got mixed in." He stuck his tongue out and pretended to gag.

Belphegor was next to chime in. "You know what sounded crunchy? This one time, Beel wrapped and ate three live huma—"

Everyone's faces turned pale. Asmodeus rushed to poke him hard in the side, causing Belphegor to yelp to a stop.

There was a lot of nervous side-eyeing in your direction. Mammon had his hands raised like he was going to clamp them over your ears. Satan was rubbing the bridge of his nose to stay calm. Leviathan's mouth was a giant frown, opening and closing like a fish out of water. Things had become incredibly awkward.

Belphegor continued, very slowly, "Three... humongous pizzas."

[spark-river]

Mephistopheles has texted you with breaking news.

The Easter Egg Hunt at the royal palace arranged by Diavolo has been postponed. During setup, Beelzebub ate one of the eggs with 5,000 grimm inside. It was an egg Mammon had been searching for before the hunt officially started. The two began brawling in the garden over the incident. Their fighting destroyed a number of eggs decorated by Asmodeus and woke Belphegor from his resting spot. They both flew into a fury and joined the skirmish.

Lucifer is taking care of things. He says your presence would be most welcome if you want to come early to keep an eye on everyone. Mephistopheles also thinks that a picture of you ordering Lucifer and his brothers to stay would really enhance his article on the whole debacle.

[spark-river]

Mammon, eating human world food: This has the consistency of cardboard!

Satan: ...Did you eat cardboard before?

Mammon: Don't question it.

[spark-river]

Beelzebub x Reader ft.rest of the bros: March Prompt/Day 26

Prompt list/available prompt requests here, making a fic everyday of march

“Are you sure?”

“I mean, yeah. Pretty much just scraps at this point. Maybe Mammon or Asmo can help me find a replacement.” With that you dropped the torn fabric into the emptied recycling bin, shivering a little as you walked away. “Besides, it’s going to warm up soon anyway.” Beel didn’t like that… strained tone in your voice.

…

Beelzebub slipped the scraps into his pocket before draping his jacket over you, those sleeves dragging against the ground, the garment more of the cloak on you. “You don’t have too!”

“I’m fine.” He adjusted it a little to make sure it wouldn’t slip off your little human frame.

Unfortunately human clothing was much less durable than demon’s. Most of your wardrobe were things from here but you still had the occasional item from home. One had to be careful though as the daily chaos of Devildom life would destroy any human garments easily. At least you didn’t get hurt but…

Carefully Beel hand washed the thing in the sink, it was so thin at parts Beel worried it’d just disintegrate in the washing machine. But then what? It wasn’t like there was enough fabric left to make you a new jacket let alone repair it.

Actually…

“Levi, how do you repair clothing?”

“You uh… find…” That tap, tap, tapping came to an abrupt stop just as the music did, a pause menu now displayed on the handheld. Utterly baffled the third born looked over his shoulder. “Beel!?”

Beelzebub held out the scraps to his older brother. “… What’s this?”

“What’s left of MC’s favorite jacket.”

“Hmm.” Levi scrutinized the bits of fabric trying to figure out some way to put his baby brother down gently. “I don’t…”

“I thought so.”

“OH! Well, then, Good.” And with that Levi turned back to his game.

… Was there really nothing he could do? But if even Levi didn’t think anything could be done, then it was impossible. Maybe Barbatos could help? Didn’t he sew an outfit for you once? Could he know a way? Even then, Beel had seen Levi make so many extravagant outfits, and he certainly couldn’t count how many times he gave Levi one of his jerseys to repair only for it to be given back good as new, so if he couldn’t surely no one could. Besides then Levi had a whole shirt to work with not… this.

“FINE!”

“Huh?”

“We’re going to my room.” With that Levi began stomping off. “I swear, you and Belphie and your puppy eyes.” But Levi only glanced at his face for a moment, focusing on the fabric before. Did he have an odd expression?

Beelzebub stood by the door while Levi got a big fold out table from behind some shelving, setting it up, before patting his hands on it. “Come on. I need to know what we’re working with here.”

“…”

It was almost sad to look at.

“Is this it?”

“Yeah.”

Levi studied the thing in dismay.

“What are we all doing here?”

“GAH! Get out party animals! You have to say the password!”

“Excuse me, you left the door wide open!”

Asmodeus and Mammon easily slipped past Levi, immediately making their way for the out of place table.

Levi sighed realizing the pair wouldn’t leave any time soon.

“Some scrap?”

“Oi, that’s MC’s jacket.” Everyone glanced to Mammon about to question how he could recognize it in this state but then remembered the word ‘privacy’ didn’t exist in his vocabulary when it came to you. Beel had even seen him snooping through your stuff for the hell of it.

“It got wreaked yesterday.” The intruders nodded, recalling the tales they were told of it at dinner the night before.

“Well, what are you going to do with it?” Asmo pinched at a corner before lifting it up to get a better look.

“I want to repair it.”

Beel didn’t much care for the pitiful look Mammon gave him. “Eh? You might as well be startin’ from scratch.”

“Mammon, hush!” Asmo smacked the back of his hand against Mammon face and kept it there, seemed he didn’t like that look either. Not enough force to leave a mark or even hurt probably, but enough for an audible fwap sound.

“EY!”

“It’s sweet.” Placing the fabric down he started talking with his hands as perusual. “Besides, did you see that yukata he made for MC? You still need to make me one! It’s gorgeous!”

Beel grumbled at the fabric. “I couldn’t make it again even if I wanted too. I didn’t write down any instructions.” He could repair it if needed.

“Come on, you at least have the pattern pieces left, right? We can just adjust them to my size.”

“No.”

“But Beel-”

“I don’t know what pattern pieces are, so I can’t even if I wanted. And I don’t.”

…

“Why are you staring at me?” His older brothers looked between one another, having some silent conversation before Levi scurried off, placing some big paper on the table, while Mammon immediately began to scribble on it.

Asmo placed his hands on Beelzebub’s shoulders, a deathly serious look in his eyes. “You didn’t use any patterns?”

“Uh? No?”

“You didn’t draw out the pieces and then cut them out?”

“No? Mc did that to make my yukata, but we didn’t have much paper so I let them use it.”

“YOU FREE HAND THE ENTIRE THING AND IT TURNED OUT LIKE THAT!?”

“I-”

“WHY HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING YOUR DESIGN AND SEWING SKILLS SECRET FROM ME BEEL!”

Levi and Mammon had cut out one of the things Mammon drew, shoving their way past Asmo to hold it right up to his face. “Ya didn’t do anythin’ like this before cutting out your fabric?”

Beel just shook his head, words getting lost as he only got more and more confused by his brothers beginning to freak out and question him all at once. You did that to make a guide for what to cut but for Beel, trying to keep the paper and fabric in place while cutting was a bit much so he just went without and trimmed when he needed.

“I guess I can’t freehand MC’s jacket though.” It wouldn’t be your exact jacket but his own thing then.

“Uh duh. Here, just let me…” And so Mammon went scribbling away again. Beel really should have been surprised at how Mammon had even the details of your favorite clothing memorized, down to the individual parts that made them, but he couldn’t be. It was Mammon after all, the man was terrifyingly skilled.

“Oh, I know!” Asmo took one of the smaller scraps. “We need kamillion fabric!”

“Wh-” Asmo pinched Beel’s cheek, looking all too giddy.

“It’s a fabric that will turn into an exact copy of whatever material you press into it, and once you do that it won’t change, so we can get plenty of new material!” And off Asmo was, his heels clacking away as he went.

“Here, cut these out.”

“Oh-okay.” Beel had to admit it was impressive Mammon could already be done with some parts and how he drew such straight lines.

“Later, I need to show him my sewing machine.” Levi grabbed his arm, dragging Beel away to the opposite side of the table. Seemed Mammon didn’t hear, passing another sheet to where Beelzebub was.

“So, we’ll skip the basics and go straight about the special features.” Levi pointed to the machine excitedly, already beginning to ramble.

“Wait, I don’t know how to use this.”

“…” He… just started. Unblinking. “No… Beel, you didn’t use a sewing machine EITHER!?”

“Well… no. We didn’t have one to use when we made our yukatas.”

“… NO WONDER YOU TWO KEPT WORKING NONSTOP ALL DAY AND NIGHT! Beel. Okay, I’ll get us some scraps so I can teach you. Trust me you’ll love this, it’ll make everything so much faster!”

Well, he was going to have to wait on the fabric anyway. It did get a bit annoying with both Levi and eventually Mammon hovering over his shoulders and arguing about what kind of stitching would be better in certain situations, but he did learn a lot from the both of them.

“I’m surprised though…” Mammon draped an arm over the redhead’s shoulders, leaning in to get a closer look at his work. “Yer picking all this up so quickly. You used to be- uh… struggle with this more fiddly stuff. What got ya interested?”

…

“Wasn’t it when Belphie made that plush for him?”

“Oh yeah. He made one for Belphie after that.”

“Then it was the yukatas him and MC made for each other.”

“Still though, between then and now he’s improved a lot!”

“I know, and now he even designed our outfits for the parade!”

“Look at our baby bro growing up!”

“Gross Mammon.”

“Eh!? What’s so wrong about prasin’ my little brothers!?”

… there was just something nice about it. It felt good. For the yukatas you taught him a lot, you got some good tips from Barbatos when sewing that Devilcat plush for him that you shared. He did a couple of little things since the yukatas like drawstrings bags or trying to repair his jerseys himself. He couldn’t be sure why but something in him was just drawn to this. It felt soothing in a way. It was also nice to use things that you taught him, to repeat it, to memorize it, to make it part of himself.

It would take a couple of days for the fabric to get shipped so Beel used the time to get other fabrics he’d need that he couldn’t get the original parts of like the inside lining of the pockets.

“Hey, Beel.” Satan strolled a bit closer than he normally would with anyone but you. Said you was at the front of your group, excited to get home and warm up after classes.

“Yeah?” Beelzebub matched his brother’s hushed tone.

“Tell me when your package gets here.”

“My what?”

“The… supplies.”

“Uhh... Oh, you mean the fabric?”

The fourth born quirked a brow before maintaining the distance he usually would, although his voice stayed low. “So it’s not a surprise?”

“… huh?”

He shook his head. “Anyway, tell me when it arrives. You’re using kamillion fabric, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then it will be just as weak as before. I know a few spells that can make it as tough as Devildom fabric.”

“Thank you!” Beelzebub hadn’t even thought of that. Although… who told Satan about this project? It wasn’t a secret, exactly, Beelzebub hadn’t quite been open about this though either. In a way he didn’t want you to know. You surprised him with the Devilcat so it would be nice to surprise you with something.

In the planning Beel did overlook one thing. It was Fangol season so most days after school had to be spent out on the field. So instead after Lucifer had finished his bedtime check-up Beelzebub would get back up. On the loft was where he’d place the table, light, and sewing machine. He hoped the distance would make it less disruptive to Belphegor.

And yet every night a few minuets after he began work he’d hear a yawn come from the winding staircase. Belphie would trot up, pillow in hand before sitting on the floor beside him and rest his head on Beel’s lap. The company was nice. Usually he’d immediately fall asleep but sometimes he’d try staying up, ask Beel what part he was working on or what exactly he was doing, it also helped Beel stay up on nights where practice hit hard and all his battered body wanted to do was collapse in bed.

Nice soft bed…

… so warm

…. And

Comfy

…

…

…

A groan rumbled in his throat, his neck killing him. Slowly he sat up, his body stuttering and creaking from the movement. Arched back, hands up high he stretched, a yawn escaping him. He couldn’t help smiling feeling that weight on his lap and getting that familiar yawn in reply. “Morning Belphie.”

“Morning Beel.”

“Morning you two.”

Immediately Beel’s eyes shot open being greeted to the worst sight. Lucifer stood across the table, arms crossed, a glowering stare. His every step was noted with the soft thud of his shoes against the wood floor. His eyes flickered up and down the pair, clearly not pleased with the sight. “Well, get ready. You’re going to be late.”

A couple of quick nods and Beel practically bolted out of the chair with his twin in his arms.

“Wait… Lucifer, we don’t have classes today.” The man simply sighed, the distinct click of the lamp being turned off before, following him down the stairs, your jacket in hand.

“You have practice.” The jacket was placed on the railing before he reached out and…

And placed his hands on Beelzebub’s cheeks?

“Wha-” Squished, stretched, pulled, smushed Beelzebub was left baffled at Lucifer playing with his face like that!

“There, now there’s color in your cheeks and you won’t worry them by looking so sickly.”

…

“… Heh, thank you!” And so Beel was off. He had to give you your jacket before practice, you were going to be watching today after all!

You stood by the door, giving him a little smile in greeting before your eyes were drawn to the garment he held. He simply placed it on your shoulders before holding the door open for you, leaving you baffled, looking to your jacket all the while everyone else piled on one another, peeking around the corner, some filming, some giving a thumbs up, some trying to act like they didn’t care yet still stood there watching anyway.

“I hope you like it.” You held the thing close for a moment, rolling some of the fabric between your fingers.

“I- what? How?”

“I got help making it. Is it… like your old one?”

“… Even better.” Good, you smiled.

[spark-river]

Devildom Durability

I think things/objects in Devildom are more durable by default cuz yk, demons. They're stronger than humans and need stuff to be long lasting to keep up with their naturally long lives. There's also the perk of something being pretty damn fireproof or resistant to acid. Heck, maybe even magic-proof to some degree. Clothes more resistant to wear and tear. Infrastructures being nearly indestructible unless someone went on a rampage and really went ham with both brute force and magic. Even the paper takes at least a century or two to become yellow from age!

Items being advertised to last forever and they probably ain't lying.

Which is good for a clumsy OC/MC! Oh you always drop your phone? Well don't worry, your DDD can take a hit from a sledgehammer and not have a single scratch! Pulled something too hard? Nah you just jiggled it a lil bit. Dropped something? Not a dent on the item or the floor.

The only thing you're in danger of breaking is your own fragile human bones 😀😄

And wouldn't it be so funny if a human OC/MC accidentally break something out of anger/adrenaline/excitement/etc...

[spark-river]

Imagine MC who laughs as a stress response so in season one they burst into laughter whenever someone threatens them, they get hurt, or almost die.

That’d make the situation so much worse.

Diavolo: “Welcome to the Devildom!”

Lucifer: “You will stay here for a year.”

MC: “Heheheh…”

Diavolo: “ Um…are you okay?”

Mammon: “I’ll eat you!”

MC: “Hahahahaha!”

Asmodeus: “Wow Mammon, they’re laughing. That’s just sad.”

Mammon: “Shaddup! Show me some respect dammit!”

Leviathan: “You may not make it back to the human world alive!”

MC: “BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Mammon: “Wh- you idiot! You’re making this worse!”

Satan: “How DARE YOU!”

MC: “Hahahaha!”

Leviathan: “Lucifer! Lucifer HELP!”

Lucifer: “You MET BELPHEGOR!?”

MC: “Pft—“

Mammon: “Ah fuck, someone call Diavolo!”

Belphegor: “Struggling to breathe?”

MC: “Heh…heh…”

Belphegor: “Why the hell are you laughing?”

[spark-river]

One of those "someone pisses off someone/something and unrelated people get cursed but it's a funny curse" gags but it's Lucifer, Mephistopheles and Barbatos getting cursed so they can't ever say Diavolo's name without messing it up somehow.

They're all in a meeting together and Barb is serving Dia some tea and he's like "here Lord Diabolo. Diabolo? Dialovo??"

And Lucifer and Mephisto are super confused but when they try to say his name they mess it up even worse. Eventually they can't say "young master" or "your majesty" either so they're all like "here's the paperwork, The Guy I Work For"

[spark-river]

Sheep!MC - phone

Okay, but sheep MC gets handed the DDD and told to call Mammon. They tap on the screen and- Nothing. It does not react to hooves.

„Shit.“ - Probably Lucifer under his breath

[spark-river]

Satan: What kind of idiot buys mentos at a gas station?

Mammon, chewing: HEY!?

[spark-river]

Hope you’re doing good! I’d like to request

“We’ve been over this you can’t cook.” “I know but I really wanted to make this for you.” 

for Lucifer (Obey Me) please!

✩ Prompt list link, feel free to send in more ✩

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Devildom dishes confuse you. If it wasn't the strange list of ingredients that threw you off first, it was some of the weird instructions. Seriously, how can the brothers read some of these steps like it's completely normal. One time you were helping Satan cook a stew and he read to you: 'wait for the screaming raddish to stop screaming and then cut straight through the middle. If you cut it while it's still screaming it won't have any flavour whatsoever.'

The screaming was actually so awful that you had to leave the kitchen and let him complete the step. But because of these weird cooking methods a lot of the time you attempt to make Devildom foods without any help they just end up... disastourous. You always try to justify that it's the incredibly specific preparation that ruins the dishes... which is the truth. And that you don't have the patience to try and follow through with half the things recipes call for.

Lucifer somehow always knows what you've done wrong with every dish. At least these days he's much nicer about it though, in the beginning he'd just scold you out right for not bothering to follow through with the instructions. It's now more of a gentle chide and slight hint of amusement as he questions you on just how much of the recipe you actually read before just throwing everything together.

He also doesn't really leave you with free range of the kitchen by yourself for cooking duty. There is always someone with you, although that still doesn't stop disasters from making it to the table. Especially if Mammon or Belphegor are on duty with you, one being a pushover for whatever you want to do and the other can't be bothered following a recipe half the time either.

So when you present Lucifer with a homemade dish one evening. He keeps his expression incredibly still. Unsure if this is something perhaps Satan or Belphegor put you up to. But the expectant expression on your features has him doubting that to be the case.

“We’ve been over this you can’t cook.” He attempts to not be overly harsh in his statement, despite it being truthful.

“I know but I really wanted to make this for you.” Your reply is paired with a smile that has him wanting to rub his temples. You aren't going to leave until he tastes your cooking, and he doesn't want you to find him ungrateful for your efforts, no matter how dubious.

He steels himself before taking the first bite. Deciding that no matter the taste this once he'll humour you and compliment the dish in front of him. But when the flavours actually hit his tongue he's surprised that it doesn't taste awful. You seem to notice his reaction.

"I actually followed the recipe down to every weird instruction." Pride swells in your chest as you speak. A smile forms on his face at the gesture. "I'm never doing this again by the way, so you're welcome." He chuckles at that.

"Did you make any for anyone else?"

"Nope just you." The smile on his face widdens at that.

"My aren't I lucky?" He could only imagine the jealously that he'd be met with if he confessed to receive a dish that you put so much care into so that it didn't taste horrible. But he likes the idea more of keeping this moment to himself, especially the image of your joy at his reaction to actually enjoying the flavour.

Lucky indeed.

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