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[spectacle-in-the-morning]

I’m Moving Blogs!

Hello to anyone that is following or read A Cup of Coffee (my one fic). I’m going to be moving to a different blog tonight or tomorrow. I didn’t understand how difficult this godforsaken website truly was until I tried to work with a secondary blog rather than just create a new primary one. SO, this means:

I’ll be reposting A Cup of Coffee on my new blog here soon. Fresh start.

The version here and this account will stay up, but I will not be posting on it

I’m using a nearly identical username so I shouldn’t be hard to find. I’ll also link it in the description

I’ll follow all you lovely folks that followed me here over the weekend over there

I will be posting another Sonny fic Friday to thank you guys for putting up with me!

Catch you all on the flip side.

[spectacle-in-the-morning]

A Cup of Coffee -- Sonny Carisi

Notes: Hey everyone! I’m new to posting fanfiction anywhere so I’m very open to comments! I’m having a moment with Sonny from SVU. Apologies in advance if I’m butchering his character. Anyways, this is just a little bit of what I imagine dating Sonny would be like. A tiny bit of insecurity, a bit more of religion, and a whole lot of falling deeply in love with our sweet summer child.

---

A couple years ago if someone had asked you what your worst date would look like you probably would have said a religious, New York cop. That was the pinnacle of the kind of man that sought power and authority in every aspect of his life to you. Then you met Sonny.

After years of working on your dissertation in a small rural town you decided to make a big change. You knew it was time when even the leaves shifting color in the fall began to drive you insane. So you taped a map of the US to the wall, threw a dart, and bought a plane ticket to the nearest big city. Well, you made sure there was work available for you then you bought a plane ticket. Within a couple months you were settled- making a (semi) big time New York therapist’s salary and happily growing too many succulents in your living room. Then one of your clients was involved in something horrible. Something you knew could be part of the job, but that you wished would never happen.

You met ADA Dominick Carisi in the courtroom during one of the worst weeks of your life. As a clinical psychologist and therapist you had insight into your client’s actions that no one else did. So you uncomfortably sat on the witness stand, focusing on Mr. Carisi like you had practiced as he asked you questions. It was a professional relationship. Nothing happened during the trial. Things wrapped up. You wanted to distance yourself as much as you could from the whole ordeal. You dove back into work and forgot the handsome ADA. Then, out of the blue, you received a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Yeah, uh, this is Sonny Carisi, the ADA from Ms. Johansson’s case a couple months ago. I don’t know if you remember...”

“Of course I remember.” How could you forget? “What can I do for you Mr. Carisi?”

Then Sonny stumbled through asking you out for a cup of coffee, which you happily agreed to. And then another coffee date was planned. Then dinner. Then dinner at your place. Then dinner at his place (which you preferred because of his incredible cooking). Then nights at his place. Now you were sleeping over for entire weekends.

You were so inexplicably comfortable around him. He immediately radiated a kind of constant warmth. So much so that he usually didn’t have any left for himself by the end of the day. He gives and gives until he’s exhausted. And, very early into getting to know him, he completely flipped your preconception of religious, New York (ex-)cops.

First of all, he helped you fall in love with the city. Sure you had settled quickly after moving, but you had never felt like Manhattan could be your home. That is, until Sonny took you to his favorite restaurant. A small and mostly hidden Italian place called Gino’s. The waitress knew his order, which made Sonny turn a shade of pink and had you grinning.

He said, “I know you’ve been feelin’ a bit overwhelmed by Manhattan. I brought you here to show you how great it is when you know where to look.”

You immediately felt your heart fill with caring. Sonny gave a shit whether or not you were happy and felt comfortable. He was a New Yorker with a soul. And he introduced you to his coworkers within the first few weeks of the relationship, which meant meeting even more New Yorkers with souls.

You learned from them that there were cops doing their work selflessly. Devoting their lives not to overpowering people that needed help, but to giving them the power to speak. So maybe you were wrong about New Yorkers and cops. You’ve accepted that now. The religious thing took a bit longer to get used to.

Most nights you’d fall asleep in bed with Sonny and wake up with his arms wrapped around you. He was nice to look at in the growing sunlight: all unkempt and soft. And if it was a Tuesday or a Friday he would lazily roll over when his alarm finally went off and linger in your shared warmth as long as his work schedule permitted him. That wasn’t the case for Sundays though.

You were lucky to even see Sonny on a Sunday morning. He woke even earlier than usual to get ready for church. It was hard to believe at first, but the man was able to appear even more put together than he did when he went to work. If you bothered to wake early enough to catch him on his way out he would give you a quick forehead kiss and a “see ya in a bit.”

But last Saturday night as you laid sweaty, naked, and in love you asked him:

“Can I join you at mass tomorrow?”

And he had looked at you incredulously. You were honest from the start about being currently agnostic and you’d never expressed any desire to join him for Sunday mass.

“I- Yeah, of course. Are you sure? I don’t want you doin’ something because you think it would make me happy or anything.”

“No, I’m doing it for me.” You quickly replied. Because honestly, since you had been with Sonny you had been questioning your faith. You had certainty just felt something divine a few minutes ago when you had been intertwined with him.

And “I want to understand you more,” you added. “Get inside that stubborn head.” You tapped a finger against his temple. Damn he looked good disheveled like this.

With a little sideways smirk he’d said “alright” and a couple hours later you were kneeling in front of a wooden pew.

You listened as intently as you could to the sermon. It had been years since you had been to church and you’d honestly forgotten what it felt like to worship. So you tried your best to be open and only looked over to Sonny when your attention drifted.

And you thought he was a spectacle in the morning...

You couldn’t stop yourself from glancing his way again and again. There was something in his eyes that you couldn’t fully describe. Not quite wonder or reverence, but something along those lines. And his mouth, which you’d tried to claim just last night in passion, was dedicated to something different now. Opening and closing with agreement, whispering along with the priests words, singing songs you had never heard before. If the sermon wasn’t going to convert you, this man certainly was.

When mass was over he didn’t ask you what you thought. He just took your hand and smiled. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for your opinion- he desperately wanted to know what was on your mind. He just knew that after any kind of religious experience, good or bad, a person needs time to process. So you walked to a coffee shop, like the one you went to on your first date, and sat in companionable silence.

Until, “I don’t know what I think about God,” you start, knowing that Sonny has firm beliefs but that he supports you no matter what you personally believe. “But I do know incredible and profound things can happen during mass. I certainly felt something new earlier today.”

Sonny just lets himself smile slightly at you and nods, waiting for you to finish your thought.

“First, I'd like to go with you again next week if that’s alright. I don’t have any concise feelings about church yet, but I would like to explore those potential feelings. I’d like to explore them with you.”

Sonny reaches out to grab your hand. You intertwine your fingers with his and squeeze for a second. Then you flip his hand in yours so his palm faces upwards. You trace the lines of his palm and sigh.

“Sonny, I just-“ you let out a quick hum. Blame it on contemplation. “I love you. I was watching you during the sermon and I just... I didn’t fall in love I realized I was falling deeper in love. So, yeah. I love you.”

You breathe again and realize you’re staring at his hand so you look up to that sweet face and

You thought he was a spectacle in the morning...

He’s looking at you very openly and all the warmth he holds to give throughout the day pours out. “I love you too.”

If someone asked you today what your idea of the perfect date was you would say a religious, New York cop. The kind that gives with all his heart and lives to make other people’s lives better. The kind that made you love a place that was at first totally foreign to you. The kind that gave you new perspective on something you hadn’t even considered in years. The kind of religious, New York cop that was named Dominick Carisi Junior, and no one else.

---

Whew! You made it to the end. Sorry about all of the inevitable grammar errors I made. Sorry if the past to present tense switch was weird. And I’m not religious, so I hope I didn’t completely misunderstand the Catholic faith in addition to probably destroying Sonny’s characterization! 

I’m not totally up to date with SVU so this is set around the beginning of season 21. Probably...

Like I said before I’m excited to hear what anyone who actually read this thinks. And thanks to anyone that got this far! Maybe more Sonny stuff in the future...