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"Ouroboros" | Ch 8: Rice

Three years have passed since the fourth war. Konoha has rebuilt, peace persists, and Sakura has everything she’s ever wanted: the respect of her fellow shinobi, a career as a world-class medic, and the man of her dreams. Or at least, that’s how it seems. Her relationship with Sasuke has been fraught since the beginning, leading to a lengthy separation. But when he finally returns to Konoha an old enemy returns with him, and Sakura is sent hurtling fourteen years into Konoha’s past. Landing amid a tangled web of shinobi politics, she has to toe a careful line to find a way back home without disrupting Konoha’s history, or the lives of her camarades who will go on to shape Konoha’s future. But between new tensions with Iwa, the looming Uchiha massacre, and Danzo’s eye following her every move, it’s easier said than done. Available on: Patreon | AO3

Chapter 8: Rice

Sakura faces two challenges: one she was expecting, and one she was not.

-:-:-

She stands before the shelf of dry goods, staring at the rice bag’s sticker price with her mouth hanging open. Little white price stickers are layered upon price stickers are layered upon price stickers until the label looks like a six pointed star. More notable than that, though, is the number written on the topmost layer: 3,000 ryo.

The price of rice has doubled in the two weeks she has been in Konoha.

She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her coin purse, popping it open to rifle inside. She has the money. The Hokage gave her more than enough to last her the foreseeable future. She wouldn’t hurt too much to buy one bag; but if she keeps buying rice at this price, at the rate she normally consumes it, her finances would dwindle rapidly.

She sighs, mentally recalculating her dinner plans. Perhaps she’d make something with noodles instead. Yakisoba didn’t sound too bad—some sautéed vegetables thrown in… Those weren’t double the price at least.

She finalizes her shopping, swapping ingredients as she goes. She cringes as she passes the sake in the liquor aisle, reaching instead for a bottle of plum wine. Not her favorite, but it will do. She’ll need something, given the stress of the day.

She exits the little shop with a full bag hanging heavily from one arm, awkwardly stuffing change back into her coin purse as she falls into the flow of traffic. She is distracted enough she bumps into a passerby rather hard, calling an apology over her shoulder as she tips coins from her palm into her coin purse. She pays the encounter no mind as she zips it shut and tucks it back into her pocket, shoving the crinkled receipt into the overstuffed bag.

But a moment later, as she feels a gentle hand on her arm, she minds rather a lot: because none other than a uniformed Uchiha meets her gaze.

“Excuse me miss, you dropped this.”

The man smiles as he hands her a bill—some of her change must have fallen from her hand when she bumped into him; but this fact is slow to process. Her heart beats hard in her chest as she stares at the insignia emblazoned upon his chest plate: the four pointed star of the Konoha Military Police, with the Uchiha fan at its center.

The Uchiha—a clan currently plotting a coup in secret, yet to meet its downfall.

Her eyes slowly lift to his, and she notes familiar traits: dark hair—though not as dark as Sasuke’s, a strong jaw, a pointed nose, penetrating eyes. Eyes which squint beneath a furrowed brow.

“Miss?”

She shakes her head, attempting to push her wayward thoughts back, though she can do little about the racing of her heart.

“O-oh, um. Thank you.”

She reaches for the bill and pulls it from his outstretched hand, thoughtlessly shoving it into her grocery bag. The man smiles and straightens even as passersby jostle his shoulder.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before… I take it you’re one of the last travelers to make it in before the border restrictions?”

She laughs nervously, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Uh, yeah. Arrived the day before.”

The man’s smile widens, and he extends a hand.

“I’m Yakumi, head of the Konoha military police station in the Kokkyo district. Welcome to the city! If you have any questions or run into any problems, just pop by the police booth on the corner of High Street and Main. I’m usually stationed there, and happy to help.”

She tilts her head in acknowledgment, offering him a strained smile.

“Thank you, Yakumi-san. I appreciate it.”

He gives her a quick salute before turning, then continues cheerfully up the street. She watches him go, her heart reluctant to slow from the encounter. Pedestrians jostle her as they pass, she the stationary boulder amid their stream of movement. She had known abstractly, based on the year, that the Uchiha massacre had yet to happen. Seeing the evidence of that fact, though… it’s a very different thing.

She walks back to her apartment in a daze, sets her groceries carelessly on the dining chair, then falls onto the couch with a grunt.

The Uchiha massacre hasn’t happened. Itachi has yet to commit an unthinkable act, has yet to flee Konoha and join the Akatsuki. Sasuke is… Sasuke is still happy. And with just a few small nudges… he could stay happy…

She leans forward and puts her head in her hands, her breathing uneven, trying hard to banish the dangerous thoughts which arise traitorously in her mind. Not once since her arrival has she entertained the notion of altering the past, but this… it’s difficult to face. She knows the course of the future is dependent upon it happening. But being on the other side of it, now… knowing all the heartache and tragedy that has yet to come—that will come, if she lets it?

She lets out a choked breath, fingers curling into her hair; and she remains there, unmoving, for another hour.

-:-:-

-> Read the rest (4.9k words) now on Patreon! Early access available to $3+ patrons.

-> Chapter available free on AO3 and Patreon July 18th, 2025.

-> Website w/links and info: www.spicychestnut.com

-> Follow @spicychestnut-updates for new chapters updates!

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New post on Patreon, available to $1+ patrons!

https://www.patreon.com/posts/wip-excerpt-love-130474911

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May 2025 Writing Updates

Two Pirates and a Baby is now complete on Patreon!

The full story is available up to chapter 16 for free-tier patrons, with the final four chapters available to early access patrons ($3+). The remaining 4 chapters will also be posted to A03 over the next month, one each Friday.

-> Visit Patreon

-> Visit A03

Patron survey now posted for all patrons, both free and paid tiers!

I'd like to get a temperature check on what stories people are most excited to see updates for, what genre preferences and reading habits are, etc., so I can continue to grow and develop my Patreon page. If you follow me on Patreon, I'd love it if you would stop in and take the survey! Shouldn't take more than 10 minutes.

-> Take the Patron Survey

"Ouroboros" will be the next story to receive updates!

I have 3 updates prepared, each 3k+ words which will be published once monthly, starting in May. Additional details about upcoming update and posting plans are available on my Patreon page.

-> Read the update

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Two Pirates and a Baby | Chapter 16

Law & Nami | Rating: T | Chapters: 20

They're just two allied pirates pretending to be husband and wife, with a baby that’s not theirs and a wallet full of stolen belli to see them through their stint in hiding in a quirky little fishing village near Sabaody, fleeing from a sizeable Marine search party after cutting off a Celestial Dragon's hands and stealing said baby that's not theirs…

If she hadn’t been sailing with Luffy for as long as she has, the incongruence might get to her.

>> Tags: Humor, fluff, friendship, gen fic >> Content warnings: Mild violence, language

Chapter 16: Pirates

Law and Nami run into some old acquaintances, and Mrs. Hickenlooper gets some unexpected news.

Words: 1,245

>> Get early access - read now on Patreon! ($3+)

>> Read free on Patreonand AO3 on Friday 4/11/25!

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Two Pirates and a Baby | Chapter 15

Law & Nami | Rating: T | Chapters: 20

They're just two allied pirates pretending to be husband and wife, with a baby that’s not theirs and a wallet full of stolen belli to see them through their stint in hiding in a quirky little fishing village near Sabaody, fleeing from a sizeable Marine search party after cutting off a Celestial Dragon's hands and stealing said baby that's not theirs…

If she hadn’t been sailing with Luffy for as long as she has, the incongruence might get to her.

>> Tags: Humor, fluff, friendship, gen fic >> Content warnings: Mild violence, language

Chapter 15: Women Want Me, Fish Fear Me

Smoker and Tashigi go undercover.

Words: 1,925

>> Get early access - read now on Patreon! ($3+)

>> Read free on Patreon and AO3 on Friday 4/4/25!

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Two Pirates and a Baby | Updates!

Law & Nami | Rating: T | Chapters: 20

They're just two allied pirates pretending to be husband and wife, with a baby that’s not theirs and a wallet full of stolen belli to see them through their stint in hiding in a quirky little fishing village near Sabaody, fleeing from a sizeable Marine search party after cutting off a Celestial Dragon's hands and stealing said baby that's not theirs…

If she hadn’t been sailing with Luffy for as long as she has, the incongruence might get to her.

>> Tags: Humor, fluff, friendship, gen fic >> Content warnings: mild violence, language

Chapters 1-7:

Available to read free on AO3 & Patreon! Read now ->

Chapters 8-11:

Available to read for $3+ patrons! Read now ->

I'm quite a bit behind on posting updates on this fic to Tumblr, so here's a cumulative update! A new chapter is posted every weekend (I aim for Friday, but sometimes it doesn't happen till Sunday evening). Publication is ongoing, with 20 total chapters!

As with all my fics, chapters are posted 1 month early on Patreon to early access patrons ($3+ tier). Patreon chapters are made available to all free-tier patrons after 4 weeks, and posted to AO3! Please note that my AO3 account is locked to registered users only, so you'll need to be logged in to read!

>> SpicyChestnut @ Patreon

>> SpicyChestnut @ AO3

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If you aren’t already, please give me a follow on Bluesky! I post publication updates there regularly as well, often a bit earlier than Tumblr.

@spicychestnut.bsky.social

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“The Yuletide Adventures of Link and Terrako” | ZeLink Yuletide Fic

Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity | ZeLink

5 Chapters | 7,499 Words

Years after the Calamity, Link and Zelda are engaged to be wed. During his first Yuletide living in the castle as the future Prince-Consort, Link and Terrako bond over the holiday's festivities; but unknown to Link and Zelda, Terrako has its own holiday plans in mind.

Read on: AO3 / Patreon / Spicy Chestnut Archive

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"Snowman's Land" | A Trigun Christmas Oneshot

Several years after the final battle for Noman's Land and the institution of a terraforming system to transform the planet's barren wastes, Meryl, Vash, Livio, and Milly experience their first white Christmas at Hopeland.

A little Christmas surprise for everyone! Thank you all for being so kind and supportive throughout this year, and happy holidays!

Read now on AO3 or Patreon!

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Two Pirates and a Baby | Chapter 4

Law & Nami | Rating: T | Chapters: 20

They're just two allied pirates pretending to be husband and wife, with a baby that’s not theirs and a wallet full of stolen belli to see them through their stint in hiding in a quirky little fishing village near Sabaody, fleeing from a sizeable Marine search party after cutting off a Celestial Dragon's hands and stealing said baby that's not theirs…

If she hadn’t been sailing with Luffy for as long as she has, the incongruence might get to her.

>> Tags: Humor, fluff, friendship, gen fic >> Content warnings: mild violence, language

Chapter 4: Onesies and a Swaddle

Nami does what she does best, and overhears some concerning news as she sneaks around town.

Words: 1,074

>> Get early access - read now on Patreon! ($3+)

>> Read free on Patreon and AO3 on Friday 12/13/24!

[spicychestnut-updates]

Two Pirates and a Baby | Chapter 3

Law & Nami | Rating: T | Chapters: 20

They're just two allied pirates pretending to be husband and wife, with a baby that’s not theirs and a wallet full of stolen belli to see them through their stint in hiding in a quirky little fishing village near Sabaody, fleeing from a sizeable Marine search party after cutting off a Celestial Dragon's hands and stealing said baby that's not theirs…

If she hadn’t been sailing with Luffy for as long as she has, the incongruence might get to her.

>> Tags: Humor, fluff, friendship, gen fic >> Content warnings: mild violence, language

Chapter 3: Susana and Cutter

Nami takes Law to the inn to rest for the night.

Words: 1,928

>> Get early access - read now on Patreon! ($3+)

>> Read free on AO3 on Friday 11/29/24!

[spicychestnut-updates]

Two Pirates and a Baby | Chapter 2

Law & Nami | Rating: T | Chapters: 20

They're just two allied pirates pretending to be husband and wife, with a baby that’s not theirs and a wallet full of stolen belli to see them through their stint in hiding in a quirky little fishing village near Sabaody, fleeing from a sizeable Marine search party after cutting off a Celestial Dragon's hands and stealing said baby that's not theirs…

If she hadn’t been sailing with Luffy for as long as she has, the incongruence might get to her.

>> Tags: Humor, fluff, friendship, gen fic >> Content warnings: mild violence, language

Chapter 2: You're here too?

Law finds he's not alone when he arrives at his destination, but he's not yet sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Words: 1,207

>> Get early access - read now on Patreon! ($3+)

>> Read free on AO3 on Friday 11/15/24!

[spicychestnut-updates]

Two Pirates and a Baby | Chapter 1

Law & Nami | Rating: T | Chapters: 20

They're just two allied pirates pretending to be husband and wife, with a baby that’s not theirs and a wallet full of stolen belli to see them through their stint in hiding in a quirky little fishing village near Sabaody, fleeing from a sizeable Marine search party after cutting off a Celestial Dragon's hands and stealing said baby that's not theirs…

If she hadn’t been sailing with Luffy for as long as she has, the incongruence might get to her.

>> Tags: Humor, fluff, friendship, gen fic >> Content warnings: none

Chapter 1: Drop the Baby

She just couldn't mind her own business, could she? It's all Zoro's fault, if you really think about it.

Words: 1,556

>> Read now on Patreon

>> Read the first chapter free on AO3! Read subsequent chapters free on AO3, one month after they're made available to early access patrons.

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WIP update!

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"Biology" - Chapter 13

Vash/Meryl | Rating: MA-E | Chapters: 13/14

Things were tight on Ship 3, the refugee crisis taking a toll on available supplies across the planet. But Vash’s solar array held the promise of turning the tide in the fight against Knives, and with the recent discovery of long-missing ship 13 buried in the desert, they had the chance to potentially triple their resources overnight. But things never go as planned with Vash around; one mishap leads to another leads to another, and Vash and Meryl are forced to confront the feelings the Knives crisis caused them both to bury.

>> Content warnings: mature adult themes, alien biology, explicit sexual content, harsh language

Chapter 13: Something Special

Vash anxiously waits, and worries, for Meryl to return to Ship 3. Not long after her departure, though, he and Luida are reminded just why she is called "Iron Lady Meryl".

Words: 5,065 Chapter warnings: discussion of famine

>> Read now on Patreon

>> Read free on AO3 on Friday, May 31, 2024