spray-my-neck-pls - Tumblr blog

[spray-my-neck-pls]

How are you doing? We haven’t heard from you in a while.💖

hello love <3

i am okay !! university has been relatively hectic and i haven't had time to get on here. i appreciate you reaching out <3

[spray-my-neck-pls]

tell him literally anything and he goes :OO !!!!

the ideal man

K/en IS the shocked pikachu meme. Change my mind.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

If someone held a gun to my head and said to choose between pathetic men with colds who might sneeze on you accidentally bc they’re too tired and weak to cover in time, and dominant men with colds who will sneeze on you on purpose because they know it drives you insane, then I’d just have to take a bullet tbh.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

some nsfw snz for u horny ppl

anyway. a beautiful boy/girl snorting chinkini off of your thigh before going down on you. where you wrap your legs around their head and keep your hands tugging on their hair, pulling them right the fuck back down if they try and sneeze anywhere but your cock/cunt. holding their face as they sneeze up your stomach and whine with how much it tickles, how much of a mess they're making, how desperate they feel.

them pleading for tissues but not getting any. not until they get you off.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

(i could prob also do something for st/ranger th/ings, specifically with ed/die if you guys would prefer that)

[spray-my-neck-pls]

himbo snz, the ideal !!

I think only one person asked for this, but that’s enough for me. Have a little tester fic of post-movie sick!Ken. Hope y’all don’t hate it 🫣

*~*~*~*~

“Barbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.” Usually this logic reigned true, but today? Today was not a great day. In fact, Ken would even go so far as to say this was starting out a terrible day.

Normally when Ken woke up, he had a predisposed urge to get dressed in something colorful, eat a delicious breakfast, and meet up with the other Kens to do beach. No one did beach better than them.

Today, however, Ken didn’t feel like putting on something colorful. He felt… cold? He stared at himself in the mirror unable to pinpoint the problem, before pulling on his Winter Ken™️ hoodie and pants.

It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the beach, immediately greeted by his friends.

“Hi Ken!”

“Hey Ken!”

“Hi Ken!!”

Came the chime of voices from Ken’s 2-4. A few of the other Barbie’s waved at him too.

He was about to reply back when he buckled forward with a harsh, “H’iiKSHiew!”

“What was that??” Ken 4 asked, slightly frightened.

The outburst had come on so quickly, he barely had time to cover or try to stop it. “I… I don’t- K’tSCHew!”

The other Kens noticed the small damp spot on his hoodie sleeves and tried to subtly take a step or two backwards.

“Are you… malfunctioning, Ken?” One of the Barbie’s approached him gently.

“No! I can’t be malfunctioning. I’m Ken! I’m just Ken!!”

He was starting to panic and everyone knew it. He felt like his world was coming down on him until he heard the familiar beeping of a car’s horn.

“Barbie!!”

The blonde stepped out of her car as she did almost every day, walking in her heeled sandals toward the beach and waving enthusiastically, none the wiser to Ken’s condition.

She was expecting to find the Kens playing volleyball with Allan, performing a dance number, or beaching each other off. But instead she found them simultaneously huddled around Ken while also keeping their distance from Ken.

“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Barbie asked.

“We’re not too sure. Ken might be malfunctioning…” Allan started.

“I am’b n’dot- hih’eSHHuu! M’balfunctioni’g.”

Barbie was taken aback, a look of worry and slight disgust plastered on her face.

“Excuse me please, Barbie.” Doctor Barbie made her way through the crowd, right on time as per usual. “I’ve only seen this once or twice before if Barbies or Kens make it back from the real world. Were you hanging out with a lot of people out there??”

Barbie shook her head, “No, I mean. Only Sasha, Gloria and some folk at Mattel…”

Ken looked guilty.

“What is it Ken?” Doctor Barbie asked.

“I may have gone around with some other men. Checking out their mojo dojo casa houses. But it seemed fine! Educational even.”

He was trying really hard to work that Ken charm.

Doctor Barbie raised her eyebrow. “Well Ken, it seems like you might have picked up a bad cold from one of them.”

Ken seemed perplexed as he repeated the words. “A bad… cold?”

The other kens and Barbie’s seemed puzzled too.

“It means you’re sick.”

They all gasped.

“Damn the patriarchy!” Ken growled through gritted teeth.

“No need for worry - it’ll go away on its own in a few days but in the meantime I recommend getting some rest and drinking lots of water, tea and juice.”

“Oh my gosh! Ken can come to our Barbie tea party tonight!!” Barbie exclaimed.

Some of the Kens clapped. They were never allowed to go to a Barbie tea party and we’re curious what happened during them. Surely Ken could find out.

*** TBC? ***

Let me know if y’all want a part two of sick!Ken at the Barbie tea party.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

C/ARLOS IS ALLERGIC TO CATS CANONICALLY AND C/ECIL WOULD ABSOLUTELY GO TO WORK SICK UNTIL HIS VOICE GAVE OUT

CARETAKER C/ARLOS WITH THE KINK ALSO ?? THE IDEAL

ok so im listening to w/tnv and

AISJHFJFJG

[spray-my-neck-pls]

🧠 if you feel comfortable!!

Thanks, anon! 🥰 I'm comfortable with it dw, I think I'll slap it under a read more because it's NSFW but mostly because it's embarrassingly specific, cheesy and personal haha

🧠 What's a fantasy you have in regard to it?

OK, so, I have imagined myself taking part in a kind of medical scenario where my sexual responses and orgasms are being studied. I'm always lying back on a really comfortable examination table, and a handsome male doctor will basically do anything in his power to get me off, short of fucking me.

He'd use his fingers, various toys, sometimes his mouth, taking note of how many times I orgasm, how strong they are, how close together. He asks me how I'm feeling, to graphically describe it to him, to tell him when I'm going to cum, and he'll praise me and talk me through it or up to it every time. He'll lick his gloved fingers clean after being inside of me, apologise for being unprofessional but getting caught up in the moment, laughing shyly

It deviates into fetish territory at this point, and goes several different ways.

The first is, I tell him about my fetish from the start. In this case, he plays videos and wavs for me, tries to figure out what my body likes the most. Eventually, he'll start to induce for me - first just so I can watch, then on my face, then my cunt, as many times as I need to cum.

Sometimes he figures it out for himself when I cum faster than usual on the days he's having a rough time with allergies or struggling through a sneezy cold. He'll stop trying to hold back and sneeze as much as possible, fascinated by my reactions until he eventually confronts me about it. And from then on, the first scenario applies.

Occasionally I love the idea of a larger group of doctors (all genders) working on me and examining me - the main doctor demonstrates how his sneezing gets me wet and makes me cum, and the other doctors are sure to watch me intently the entire time and take notes on my reactions. Sometimes they'll take turns touching me and sneezing on me, multiple people at a time.

Another variation is that a sexy, mean female nurse will get involved, sneezing all over me and mocking my responses, how perverted I am to cum around my doctor's fingers with her spray all over my face.

So. Yeah. Now you know

[spray-my-neck-pls]

i am Fucking Barking

If ur down for it, I’d love to see u write smth for tlou with a sick/snzy Joel ,,, perhaps when he and Ellie are first reunited with Tommy or maybe post-game where they’ve gone back to Jackson with Tommy?? basically just the embarrassment of never being sick and suddenly being sick 🥹🥹

Ask and ye shall receive, my anon <3 Fandom: The Last of Us Summary: Freshly returned from the fireflies, Joel is run completely ragged and has caught a cold. CW: None, just spoilers for the game if you haven't played! Word Count: 1.1k MINORS DNI

The car had broken down when they were a few miles from Jackson. Then the rain had started. It hadn’t let up until they were nearly at the hydroelectric plant. After pulling Ellie out of the Fireflies it had been hard to find her non-rotting clothes that fit. Most anything decent was all returned to the earth, torn up, disgusting, or moth eaten. They’d managed to find her a too big shirt, jeans, a belt, and even some decent shoes. But no jacket.

With no car for shelter from the rain, Joel hadn’t even hesitated to shrug off his jacket and drape it around the young girl’s shoulders as they exhaustedly trudged the last few miles back to town. They made it to the gates. Tired, shivering, soaked, starving, and there was a bone deep weariness that Joel just couldn’t place. He swallowed, wondering if he’d snored the whole night long for his throat to feel so raw.

Rain rolled down off his soaked hair and down the bridge of his nose as they waited for the gate to open, his exhausted frame shaking in the freezing downpour. Somehow it was still raining instead of snowing. Good for the plant, he thought just as a droplet of water rolled off the tip of his nose.

It ignited a tickle at the very tip and made him raise a calloused hand to rub roughly at the appendage just as Tommy pushed open the gate.

“Christ,” Tommy breathed out. “You both look like hell.” His eyes trailed from Joel to Ellie and stepped aside to let them both inside the walls. “Get in here. We’ll get you cleaned up, dried off, something to eat…”

Right away Ellie was pushing her way inside. They hadn’t talked much on the way back and Joel watched her go. He hadn’t told her about what he’d done but there was a distance now between them… Both of them could feel it and the guilt of his choice ate at him. But it was nothing compared to the guilt of what inaction would have felt like. That he was sure of…

Suddenly, he realized someone was saying his name. Tommy.

“Joel?”

A grunt escaped him, and Joel sniffed slightly. His nose was running. When had that started?

“Tommy.” He growled back, a little harsher than he meant to, but he was tired god damn it. Tired, he didn’t feel himself, he wanted a shower, and to drop into bed to sleep for a month.

For once, Tommy seemed to understand and led Joel inside the gates. They trudged through the muddy streets of Jackson and into a house, Joel’s breath catching as the suddenly warm air hit his throat and lungs. He doubled over in a coughing fit with one hand pressed to the aching, still not quite healed wound on his abdomen.

A warm hand slid over his back and Joel took in a shaky breath. “I’m fine.” He spit out from pure habit, the prickliness rearing it’s head as he grew defensive. There was no reason his younger brother should be comforting him. Not a damn one.

“You ain’t.” Tommy breathed out and gripped Joel’s shirt tighter now, making the older man scrunch his face in annoyance. It seemed to re-ignite that ticklish sensation from earlier and as Tommy dragged him down the hall to the bathroom.

The bathroom lights flicked on, and Joel’s breath hitched, “Ihhih­­- Tommy, move.” He warned the blonde, pushing him aside before he braced a hand against the wall while cupping his other hand over his mouth and nose to sneeze. “HiiiISSHue! Jesus…”

A wry sort of chuckle escaped Tommy as he got the hot water started for Joel, patting his brother on the back. “Bless you, old timer. Still fucking disgusting, I see.” He teased warmly, referring to catching the sneeze in his hand.

“Like you’re any damn better, asshole.” Joel grumbled back but there was not a trace of heat to his words. His breath was already wavering again as he started to undo the buttons of his completely soaked flannel shirt.

Tommy left the bathroom with a small snort of laughter. “Fair point. I’ll leave you too it. Get some rest, Joel.”

“Hiixx’t! Ugh.” This time he’d pinched his nose to stifle sneeze, feeling his ears pop uncomfortably and it had scraped painfully against his throat. Boston to Colorado and not so much as a sniffle and now… now that it was all over it was like his body had finally given up.

As Joel stepped into the hot spray a long sigh left him which turned into a harsh coughing fit that left his throat more raw than before. He scrubbed himself down, washed his hair and beard, not bothering to shave given he felt liable to sneeze and cut himself at any moment.

A few more sneezes as he got out of the shower, dressed in some sweats Tommy had left out for him, and dropped into bed. There was no telling how long he slept but when he woke, Ellie was at his bedside and he felt awful. Worse than before he’d slept if that was possible. “Hey, kiddo…” He croaked out, throat raw and painful.

The moment he spoke, Ellie’s head snapped up from where she’d been sharpening her stiletto blade. “Hey…” Her voice was soft, softer than it had been the whole trip back. “Maria said you were sick.” Her hand raised up to indicate she was going to reach out and touch him, a habit they’d developed after some trial and error traveling together.

“I’m fine-” Joel dismissed quietly as her hand came to rest on his forehead, an oddly familiar sensation and he couldn’t place why he knew it. “Healthy as a h-hhhih…” His breath hitched, nostrils flaring, and he quickly grabbed her wrist to pull it away from his face. “HiiISHHuh! Heh…hiiSHHUH! Ugh, pardod.” He mumbled, southern drawl thickening as his congestion did too. His face was tucked into his elbow for once. Ellie didn’t need this cold. Not after all she’d been through.

Both sneezes were loud and made Ellie jump. “Jesus. Good thing you didn’t get sick like this while we were traveling. We would have had every infected in a mile on us.” She teased him to which Joel rolled his eyes, feeling a heat rising to his cheeks.

“Yeah yeah… go od add-” Joel sniffed and pulled the bed sheets up to rub at his nose some. “Get out of here. Go watch a bovie with the kids or sobethi’g todight… I’ll be fide.”

Ellie seemed to hesitate, watching him with an anxious look. “You sure?”

Another nod. “Get.” Joel insisted and reached out to give her a light shove. “Before you catch this.”

A sigh left Ellie, swaying with that shove before she pocketed her knife and stood. “Feel better, Joel.” She said and left him to sleep.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

anyway. thinking of j/oel m/iller w an absolute sloppy head cold.

thinking of j/oel with desperately loud, waist-bending sneezes that leave him breathless after a fit. sneezes that he couldn't stifle if he wanted to. sneezes that absolutely coat whatever's in front of him in a wet cloud of spray. hitching, hands pulling the collar of his shirt just over his nose, and a barely-muffled HH'RRRHSHSHHUU before wiping off his face with a thick, congested sniffle.

thinking of j/o/el being so bunged up with mucus that feels like wet concrete in his sinuses. every sneeze scrapes his throat and sends mess soaking his shirt. ending every fit with a defeated "Guh-" as he cleans himself off and tries to get back to some much-needed rest, hoping to god he didn't alert anything outside.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

ok she kinda slayed

cute new picrew just dropped y’all!!

[spray-my-neck-pls]

Just a little spritz of perfume between my legs to send my sub"s nose into itchy, sneezy overdrive while they go down on me.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

Sneezy femboy things

spraying sneezes onto my thigh-highs 

soaking my poor sweaterpaws after covering a fit

cat ears that fumble and fall from my head with the force

practicing sneezing more daintily on occasion

owning pretty handkerchiefs and decorated tissue boxes

clinging and snuggling my blahaj/plushies while sneezing and sometimes muffling into them

getting a bit drafty and cold while switching to crossdressing mode

imagining being blessed and teased til I blush by a goth dom momm- okay i’ll stop 😅

oH- and getting set off by cinnamon, spices and the like from baking delish treats for said goth dom mo- *gets sent to horny jail*

[spray-my-neck-pls]

DO NOT REBLOG ONTO NON-FETISH OR UNDER 18 BLOGS

basically i might delete this if i gain mental clarity but until then here's this

(aka me sniffing The Holy Powder (TM) and dousing myself in so much mess that my chest was covered and soaking wet oops)

[spray-my-neck-pls]

when a problem needs to be solved, a situation just has to be resolved, everyone knows they need to call on The Team.

but when you call on The Team, this time, and they show up to save the day together, it turns out they're all sharing the same horrible cold.

one is sneezing in fits that mist the air with contagion, and itching constantly at their nose. another is runny, drippy, exhausted and hoarse, and they're leaning against a third - who is so blocked up they're barely intelligible, and sneezing violently. and so on. all of them hopelessly sloppy and congested. they really don't look up to saving the day, this time around.... or, if they do, it sure will take a toll on them - and the people they came to help, as this cold inevitably spreads beyond The Team, having saturated everyone in it.

[spray-my-neck-pls]

Bad ADHD day = bored inducing

[spray-my-neck-pls]

happy birthday, ya nasty slut