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"The red thread of fate may stretch

or tangle

but it

will never

break"

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The thing is, he didn’t tell Lando that in his visions he looks at Oscar like he’s the reason why he’s alive. He didn’t tell Lando that Oscar looks at him like if Lando lets go of his hand, he’ll die. He didn’t tell Lando that even from short snippets, unclear fragments – it’s clear as a day that they are together, him and Oscar.

THIS IS SOOO GOOD OH MY GOD i'm gonna cry.. thank u soooo much for updating!! i love lando's pov, i love galex, i love everything about your story!! i love uuuu 🥹💞

oh anonie 🥺💜 you’re so sweet to me, thank you so much!! this story truly means so much and to have it loved by someone is the best feeling ever. thank you, love you too! 💜💜

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save me blonde jun save me

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i love your landoscar fic dive into you so much, it's so interesting and i can't wait for the next chapter!! thank u for writing it, i'm sending love to you <3

🥹🥹🥹 let me melt and become one with the floor pls 😭😭😭 this is sososoos sweet, dear anon, thank you so much!! you have no idea how much it means to me, it’s such a huge motivation continue writing it! sending you all the kisses and hugs 💜

p.s. next chapter will be uploaded tomorrow!

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Carlos Sainz in A week in my life: MONACO GP EDITION

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f1 pairings as famous love tropes: kimi antonelli x oliver bearman

magical realism (hate spell)

and oh my darling, i could never hate you cause hating you will kill me more

kimi is not usually the one to overreact in front of an audience, but when team witch sylvia calmly announces that he's been hit with a hate spell and therefore needs to stay hidden in this tiny closet, he doesn't think anyone can blame him for screaming 'what?' on top of his lungs. sylvia doesn't look like she's joking and kimi has a sickening feeling that this is not some elaborate prank by his team. just to be on a safe side though, he clarifies: 'this is not a joke, yes?'

sylvia sighs and shakes her head. 'it's very serious, kimi. thank god i sensed our safety barriers breaking and found you first.' seeing as youngest driver doesn't fully believe her, she adds grimly: 'bono was out there calling you names and promising to resign if they won't move him to another driver.'

kimi blinks. holy - 'bono hates me?' he lets out, voice just shy of breaking.

'my dear, everyone hates you right now. and some people get aggressive when they're in this mood-'

'hence you trapping me in this closet.' he looks around, wrapping arms around himself. 'what's the plan?'

sylvia winces and oh, sickening feeling in his chest only grows bigger. god, he knew he should've listened to his mother all those times when she told him to be careful and never forget to keep up his protection barrier. sylvia reaches out and rubs his shoulder in a way that makes it very clear he's about to hear something he won't like.

'i can't do much about it,' she admits, looking guilty. 'this curse should wear off in a day, but i can't- i'm sorry, kimi. i can hold up protection barrier around you until me and other witches get you safely back to your hotel room, but that's it.'

kimi feels too many things at once and his inability to focus on one certain emotion somehow cancels out all of his feelings, leaving only hollowness behind. 'is...everyone affected?' he asks in a small voice.

the answer to this question is not simple as he finds out later, following sylvia and her team when they lead him through some hidden exits back to the hotel. the spell works in a way that it affects everyone in the area of where it was casted; we suspect it's the whole paddock, sylvia informs him. kimi kind of wants to die after hearing it.

'it doesn't work on those who love you,' she continues as if it's any consolation. 'for example, if your parents were here it certainly wouldn't have worked on them.'

'but it worked on bono?' kimi holds the door open for her to come in on autopilot. 'bono doesn't-'

he doesn't finish that sentence. his own naivety is so apparent that he's too embarrassed to even look up and see pity in sylvia's gaze. of course bono doesn't love him. he's not lewis, they don't have any long standing history, he is just a nice young kid for bono. and it's fine, it should be fine, kimi knows. only it is not - his chest tightens uncomfortably and huge lumps forms in his throat, making it hard to talk. if bono hates him, does toto hate him too? he's not ready to hear the answer to this question. do all other drivers hate him too?

'it doesn't work when it's true love,' sylvia says once the elevator doors close. 'like parental love or romantic love. unfortunately, it affects your friends because friendship bond is not the same as romantic one.'

'so my friends hate me too?' kimi asks miserably, pulling out his room card.

'just for a day, kimi, i promise.' sylvia sounds pained like it's hurting her too and kimi feels bad for making her feel this guilty. he nods and she comes into his hotel room for the last instructions. 'okay, so just like we discussed: you're not leaving this room for today. order room service, text me if you need anything, but just stay inside. all teams were informed of this and necessary actions will be taken my each team's witch to ensure your safety. no one will bother you.' her expression softens and she reaches out, stroking his shoulder gently. 'just one day, dear.'

kimi nods. when sylvia leaves, he stay frozen for some moments, just standing in the middle of his room. hate spell. it sounds so farfetched from the reality that kimi is not even sure he fully believes in it. can there be a world where everyone hates him? his mind drifts to his team and then to the rest of the drivers and a pained groan leaves his mouth as ollie's face pops in his mind. god no. just thinking about the possibility of his best friend hating him makes his stomach churn unpleasantly with a threat to empty its insides at the very same second. ollie can't hate him. it's impossible - kimi lets out a laugh in disbelief. his ollie, ollie bearman, his tall and lanky puppy faced beautiful friend -

'mio dio,' kimi groans, falling face first on the bed.

it doesn't take him long to spiral. he's very reliant on the support from outside and to know that he doesn't have one even if it's just for the day is hurtful enough to make him want to curl up in a ball and cry. what really does it for him though, what makes tears fall from his eyes is the image of ollie looking at him with pure hatred in his eyes. ollie not coming up to hug him but staying back instead, his mouth full of mean and cruel words instead of the usual compliments or light-hearted jokes. his heart breaks at two when his imagination unhelpfully supplies him with different scenarios with one similar ending - ollie breaking off his friendship with him. and it's- kimi sits up and dry heaves in panic. his chest feels three times smaller and taking a breath becomes a hard task as he tries and tries to get his heartbeat under control. kimi has lots of friends, but in f1 there's only one person who is dear to him, who kimi always unconsciously searches for wherever he goes, whose presence makes his chest feel lighter, whose smile instantly makes him happy. oliver bearman can be a rightful pain the ass at some moments, but if someone would put a gun on his head kimi can sincerely admit that this tall red cheeked boy is the reason for... it all, really. from the moment they met in monza to then moving to f2 and battling there, kimi always had ollie. around him, behind him, next to him. ollie was everywhere and soon he became everything - little by little he filled kimi's world until racing didn't seem complete without him. sometimes, when kimi is overly sentimental, he thinks that it's destiny. that god looked at him once and thought that he'll need someone else beside him in this madness of f1 and then promptly shoved oliver into the picture.

on shaky legs he gets up and rushes to the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water. calming down is not a very strong suit of his, but stress of the situation and weight of his thoughts very soon just knock him out to a restless slumber. kimi wakes up after an hour to an incessant ringing of his phone. without really looking he picks up, groggily muttering 'hello'.

'are you actually sleeping?' ollie asks, voice high and indignant like kimi's committing a crime. 'i passed your paddock, george is filming some content and you're lazing your ass off on bed!'

kimi shoots up from the bed so quickly that he blacks out for a moment. when his vision comes back to him and the room is not spinning, he scrambles for the phone that he dropped, gaping. 'ollie?' he calls, too shocked to care what his friend called him. 'ollie, is it you?'

'no, it's esteban's engineer, laura.' he deadpans and kimi knows that he rolled his eyes. 'of course it's me. i got us few quesadillias and if you're not gonna say anything to our trainers then i won't too.'

kimi pauses. ollie sounds like he usually does. he doesn't sound like he hates him, which is... weird and suspicious. 'where were you?' kimi asks, chewing on his bottom lip. 'have you heard the news?'

'hm? what news? i was at our hospitality the whole time, kinda also fell asleep there. woke up and everyone was gone for some urgent meeting and i thought that while everyone is busy, you and me could finally eat something delicious. these quesadillas are-'

'ollie, don't you know what happened?' kimi interrupts, voice filled with urgency. 'about hate spell? no one told you?'

'what hate spell? someone was cursed?'

ollie sounds too sincere in his confusion for it to be fake. kimi knows that right now his friend's head is tilted a little to the right and his eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth does this funny thing whenever he's confused, when the right corner lifts just a little but left one stays the same. kimi sort of hates how he knows all of this.

'anyway, i'm at the lobby now, so i'll be at yours in a few. room number 1287, right? i'm coming right up.'

kimi is too stunned to say anything at first; by the time his brain catches up with the program, ollie finished the call. with disbelief painting his features, kimi stands up and walks to the door, opening it carefully. sylvia told him not to do it, but- it's ollie. ollie, who doesn't know about hate spell and who's coming to bring him quesadillas like he's not affected. ollie, whose smile gets wider the second he walks out of the elevator and notices kimi. ollie, who doesn't look like he's coming closer to strangle kimi because he hates him.

'they are still warm!' he announces delightfully, shoving box to kimi's chest. 'i think we can also order room service? fries would be nice.'

there's nothing unusual in ollie. he still looks at kimi with sparkling eyes and awfully endearing expression on his face like he's extremely happy right now. he still smells like something too sweet, his cheeks are still colored in a rosy blush and this sight still melts kimi's heart a little. or a lot.

'ollie, when you were in the paddock?' kimi asks, not moving from the door and not letting his friend in. sylvia said that everyone in the paddock was affected. everyone. 'the whole time? from the morning? did you leave at some point, went back to the hotel?'

ollie, despite his obvious confusion, instead of questioning kimi back simply answers all of the questions: 'yeah, from the morning. i left it only like now? to come here. why? you're being weird, man.'

kimi is about to get even weirder, unfortunately. because now his mind is chewing on the 'it doesn't work when it's true love, like parental love or romantic love' part and refuses to let it go. his heart refuses to let it go. 'what do you feel right now?' he asks, no- demands.

ollie blinks. 'i'm... uh, hungry?'

kimi closes his eyes. god, give me strength. 'anything else?' he presses on insistently. god, give me strength to see it for what it is. 'do you feel like, i don't know- like you hate me?'

kimi swallows. god, please, let this be real. ollie looks at him like he thinks kimi lost his mind. 'kimi, what's going on?' he asks and this time he sounds concerned. ollie takes one step closer. 'what kind of question is that?'

'so you don't hate me?' kimi asks and his voice breaks at the end.

ollie, bless him, doesn't start laughing. nor does he walk away. something in kimi's voice must have made him feel like this is serious, so he answers in the most ollie way possible: 'kimi, i could never hate you. what are you on about?'

i could never hate you. the only reason why kimi somehow doesn't start crying is because he's too shocked to fully understand and process his emotions. 'even if i take you out on the race?'

ollie huffs. 'i mean, i'd pretty pissed at you.' he then shakes his head and looks at kimi with so much fondness that kimi finally understands why his friends called him oblivious and stupid. 'but i still wouldn't hate you.'

'never?' kimi whispers, shaking like a leaf. he feels like his whole life depends on this answer.

'are you in those sentimental moods of yours?' ollie sends him small smile that is reserved only for those he truly cares about. he then proceeds to break kimi's heart in two with simple: 'never, kimi. i don't think a universe in which i hate you exists.'

his heart breaks in two and ollie doesn't even know it. just like he doesn't know how one part of kimi's heart moves right into his hands. ollie doesn't know but kimi is sure that he'll treat it like treasure either way. because ollie is here and he doesn't hate him. because ollie loves him so much that hate spell doesn't affect him.

'come in,' kimi finally says, swallowing lump in his throat. 'sorry for all that. yeah, let's order room service.'

'you're really weird, man.' ollie shakes his head, thrown off by sudden change of the topic but just going with it because it's kimi. 'i'll order fries?'

'mhm.'

kimi watches ollie from the side and thinks that he's not going to say anything about the hate spell. this tall and lanky puppy faced boy shouldn't know that kimi knows now. kimi smiles and steps closer, sitting next to him on the sofa. ollie is ordering them fries and he doesn't turn to look at him, but his arm instantly lifts up to give kimi space to snuggle to his side. ollie is here and he loves him and he is his. kimi hides his smile, looking down. he likes how it sounds in his head, calling ollie his. without thinking, he turns his head and snuggles further into ollie's chest, practically climbing on his lap.

'spoiled,' ollie mutters affectionately and drops a little kiss on his head. he puts the phone down and then asks: 'by the way, what was all that about hate spell?'

'nothing,' kimi replies, closing his eyes, content to stay here forever. 'nothing.'

a/n: *takes a deep breath* i FINISHED IT finally, my fucking god :') this was in my drafts forever. hopefully you liked it, let me know! <3 - nini

my other formula 1 works are here

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captain and vice captain 🥹

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lean on me @97chwe 🌅🌊 (cr. x)

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dive into me - lando norris/oscar piastri, rated E, ongoing, (1/?)

This was different – this was perfectly controlled, flawlessly executed transformation mid-action that looked as easy and as natural as breathing. His heart makes a strange flip and something akin to awe colors his features as he stares and stares at the forest. What he saw was probably the most fascinating thing he ever witnessed. Without thinking, he reaches out, grabs a handful of red beans and throws them on the ground right where Lando was mere seconds ago. For luck, Elders used to say. For safe travels. And for – ‘Come back safely,’ Oscar whispers, throwing more red beans on the road.

or, with a looming threat of War breaking out, small village in the South welcomes new pack from the North, offering them their resources in exchange for protection.

(READ ON AO3)

p.s. after trying to find a/b/o fics with beta!oscar and alpha!lando, where oscar doesn't magically change into omega, i finally decided to write one myself *pats myself on the back*

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lando standing right in the middle of the cool-down room, blocking tv, dragging his zipper down while looking at max like he’s daring him to do something about it, all while being fully aware that oscar’s full attention is on him and only him. oooh, he knows, guys. he k n o w s.

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hellouu nini🤗👋🏻 it's me (again hihi, hope you aren't sick of me yet) can i request no 20 with jihoon and dokyeom? like... poly :) their personality got switch or something and then reader was like really confused, idk... yeah. Thank youuu and have a nice day💜💜

hellouu my dear! not sick, never sick of returning followers 💜 i've never written poly before, so apologies if this ends up being bad :( hopefully it isn't!

prompt: 'personality swap'

you blink, your gaze swapping from jihoon to seokmin and back. 'is everything...alright?'

you think it's a rather fair question to ask, considering both of your boyfriends are acting off. you have never seen jihoon act this enthusiastic about anything in his life and seokmin looks like he's hitting mid-life crisis for no apparent reason. so yeah, you think it's a very reasonable thing to ask. seokmin sighs in a totally jihoon kind of way, rubbing at his face furiously before pointing his finger at jihoon with loud: 'it's his fault!'

jihoon, to your utter shock, starts sputtering and speaking in a high-pitch tone, all animated and angry: 'mine? you're the one who took the first sip!' he then turns to you, pouty and dejected: 'sweetpea, i swear it wasn't me!'

it would've looked comical if only- 'sweetpea?' you repeat, staring at jihoon with a raised eyebrow. 'you never call me that. you always call me 'love' and 'sweetpea' is-'

'seokmin's way of calling you,' seokmin finishes for you, sighing again.

'why are you-' you pause, realization hitting you like a truck. 'oh my god. you- did you drink that green vial i left on the table?' their guilty faces make you want to smack both of them. 'idiots, both of you. you swapped bodies?'

'bingo!' jihoon lets out, throwing his hands in the air and then instantly grimacing: 'shit, do you not take care of your back? why does it hurt so much?'

seokmin only glares. 'i take care of it fine enough, you're just overstretching!'

it's- well, you guess it should be very concerning, but in reality it's hilarious. the effect from the potion should wear off in a day so you're not too worried; you tell your boyfriends this, who both only roll their eyes in response. to watch seokmin act like jihoon and vice versa is unsettling at first - seokmin's face is never etched in a frown and he never is this...quiet; jihoon never has this spring in his step and never talks that much. it is weird but you very quickly realize the opportunities this little situation presents to you. with an unhidden glee you jump on the couch and loudly call: 'seokkie, let's cuddle!'

jihoon stumbles into the living room like an eager puppy, gladly cuddling up to you and peppering your face with sweet kisses. you giggle, grabbing tv remote to pick something, when seokmin enters the area, sending you an unimpressed glare. 'i know what you're doing.'

'you never like to cuddle when it's this hot outside, i gotta use my chances,' you stick out your tongue at him, huffing when seokmin crosses his arms on his chest. 'stop frowning, you'll give seokmin wrinkles.'

real seokmin, who's trapped in jihoon's body, happily pulls you close, not minding the heat one bit. he lets you lean his head on his shoulder and starts playing with your fingers, smiling when you propose some old comedy to watch. real jihoon though, who's trapped in seokmin's body, truts over, sulking. he gingerly sits next to you both, chewing on his bottom lip. 'do you really hate it when i tell you that i don't want to cuddle cause it's too hot?'

you blink, sensing that this is important. turning to face him, you reach out for his hand. 'of course i don't hate it, jihoon. i can never hate anything about you, baby.'

seokmin nods, also reaching out for him. 'it's a pity but we get it. it was just a joke.'

it's weird to see jihoon's emotions reflect on seokmin's face. you lean in and gently tug your other boyfriend to join cuddling session. 'just stay here, yeah? it's all that matters.'

'with us,' seokmin adds, smiling softly at him. 'we just want you close.'

'such saps,' jihoon grumbles but obeys anyway. he walks to another side and leans his head on seokmin's shoulder, taking your other hand in his and giving it a light kiss. 'let's watch this movie.'

you grin, hitting play. it's unsettling to have their personalities swap, but it's incredibly heart warming how nothing really changed in the way they both showered you with love and put you first in the middle of their relationship. smiling, you interlace your fingers with jihoon's and pat lovingly seokmin's hand that's wrapped around your torso. tomorrow they will come back to themselves and you still are sure that tomorrow you three will be in the exact same position on the couch like nothing changed.

a/n: i kept getting confused omg i'm never writing personalities swaps again :D let me know what you think! - nini

request your own here

my other seventeen work is here

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mr lee chan!!

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Heyy! This is the first time ever that I’ve requested a fic so I don’t really know how it usually goes T-T but only if you’re taking a fic request still and is comfortable with it okie?

I wanted to request an SCoups/ reader fic where they’ve been dating for a while (not publicly but the members and his close family and friends knew) and it’s the the first time that the reader wanted to introduce him to her mom. Only the thing is, the reader broke down in tears as her mom doesn’t recognise her due to dementia. She’s been delaying introducing him to her mom because of this.

Thank you so much in advance,, this happened to me recently and I just wanted to find some solace in the situation hahah. I love your works so much!!

hi, my dear 💜 i feel horrible for saying this, but i don't feel comfortable writing topic of dementia :( it's a bit too much for me. i'm so sorry for closing on your first ever request. would you be okay with requesting something else? i'd gladly write something else for you, thank you so much for enjoying my works!! 💜

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socups or minghao soulmate au where they have soul animals that only the soulmate can touch and the soul animals are really intelligent and end up leading them to each other?

hi anonie! ooh, this is such an interesting idea, thank you so much for sharing it with me :') hopefully you will like it and sorry for taking so long :(

prompt: soul animals

seungcheol huffs, watching his eagle spread his wings and take a leap without even looking back at him. lately, his soul animal has been restless, flying off more often than usual, leaving seungcheol alone for hours. he supposes it's a normal thing for eagles to do once they're in the new territory, but he can't help but feel incredibly guilty. bond with soul animals is a unique one: all feelings and thoughts are transparent between each other, so there's no way kkuma didn't feel seungcheol's nerves regarding moving to a different city. he's a bit terrified of the prospect of not knowing anyone and starting a new job, but he's also strangely hopeful in this naive way, when everything inside you wants to believe that something good will happen. he knows kkuma can feel it all, just like he can feel deep longing from him. 'what is it, buddy?' he asks once his eagle returns. kkuma is huge and sitting next to cheol with his claws grasping the bench, he attracts attention of everyone in the park. 'what's wrong?'

kkuma doesn't answer, not really. but the feeling of longing intensifies, paired with giddy excitement. cheol raises his eyebrow questioningly, reaching out to gently ruffle dark brown feathers. last time he felt same emotions from kkuma was when he met minghao's owl and they became best friends. chances of kkuma hitting off with another animal in past few days are slim, but seungcheol asks anyway: 'have you...met someone?'

kkuma nods. with a loud gurgle, he points towards the small lake in front of them. this park is right next to cheol's new apartment and they've been coming here for the past few days since moving in. 'someone on the lake?' he asks and kkuma nods. 'oh, nice. like.. a friend?'

their bond shivers and sings with a different emotion. one that cheol thought he'd never feel after he broke up with his ex. with a dry throat, he turns fully to his eagle, finding kkuma looking right at him with his piercing black eyes. cheol's ex wasn't his soulmate - she couldn't touch kkuma, but he thought it didn't matter at that time. he generally never really cared for soulmates, but the possibility of having one leaves him breathless. 'kkuma.. are you sure?'

his eagle nods. through their bond kkuma sends him strong sense of confidence and calmness, willing his owner to calm down and trust him. cheol smiles, petting kkuma's head. 'i do trust you, buddy. lead me to them, yeah?'

and lead kkuma does. in the most unconvinient time though - three days later seungcheol is in the middle of a loud argument with house manager due to lack of heating in his apartment, when kkuma suddenly barges into the room through the window, clawing at cheol's shoulders in a rather violent way. 'shit, that hurts- kkuma! i can't right now-' cheol stops, feeling urgency that rushes through the bond. 'wha- what's happening? what's wrong?'

lightly flapping his wings, kkuma cried out, physically dragging cheol towards the window. huffing in annoyance, seungcheol tries to fight against it, but to no use - his eagle only cries louder and digs his claws into his shoulders deeper. 'fuck- okay, i'm going, i'm going!' turning to house manager, cheol mutters: 'i'll be back and this heating issue is not over.'

he's annoyed and frustrated, but all these feelings vanish when he realizes that kkuma is taking him to the lake. seungcheol instantly spots the reason of kkuma's urgency - the most beautiful white swan he's ever seen is waiting by the water, a picture of grace and beauty.

'whoa,' seungcheol breathes out, stopping short of the swan. 'what a beauty.'

kkuma seems to think the same if the way he spreads his wings to show off is any sign. swan lets kkuma come closer and seungcheol gasps at the intense feeling of joy that surges through the bond. it's overwhelming; he barely manages to stand upright, watching as swan and eagle circle around each other. he turns when light footsteps echo close to him and when he sees you - he knows. it's crazy how he instantly knows that it's you. his soulmate.

'he's incredible,' you breathe out, your eyes locked on kkuma.

his eagle preens under the praise and steps closer to you. seungcheol watches in awe as you reach out and your hand settles gently at the top of kkuma's head. it doesn't go through it - you actually touch him. only soulmates can touch soul animals, seungcheol's heart skips a beat and yours does too - you look up at him in shock.

'hi,' he breathes out. surprised, awed. 'wow.'

'hi.' you sound just as breathless as him.

there's beat of silence and then you laugh, more out of shock than of anything else. seungcheol gets it, he really does; it's unbelievable. yo are unbelievable.

'they like each other,' you say, motioning to your soul animals.

seungcheol looks at them and then looks back at you. 'yeah.'

there's hope unleashing in his chest, his bond with kkuma sings with anticipation and excitement. you smile at him hesitantly and seungcheol reaches out for your hand. there's beat and then your fingers close around his too. he has a feeling that you two will like each other too. he has a feeling that he will not be lonely.

a/n: what an idea that was, loved it!! hopefully you did too <3 - nini

request your own here

my other seventeen work is here

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Hi! Can i please request 2. Time loop with Wonwoo. Reader x Wonwoo are besties, and he's in love with her, (she loves him too) however he never got the chance to say how he felt before she got married cos they were always in a relationship with other people and timing was never right and was scared to ruin their friendship. and then the night of the wedding, he drinks alot and something happens and wakes up to a few years ago. Sorry i hope that makes sense! :) Thank you!!

hi! so, i really liked this idea and kinda didn't want to make something short out of this, so i wrote a full one-shot :') i hope you will like it, thank you so much for requesting! one-shot can be found HERE

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second chances {jeon wonwoo}

pairing: jeon wonwoo x fem!reader

prompt: time loop (going back in time to fix mistakes)

warnings: angst with a happy ending

wonwoo thinks you never looked more beautiful than right now, standing next to the altar in a wonderful wedding dress. it looks stunning on you, you look stunning and he carefully puts down his glass of whiskey out of fear that he might break it with his grip. your smile is radiant and there are a lot of unthinkable things he's ready to do to have it directed at him. but no, your radiant smile, your sweet voice, your gentle touches - they are for another man, who's standing next to you in a nice suit, face beaming with pride. wonwoo knows he would've been beaming with pride too if he were to marry you.

mingyu taps his shoulder empathetically. 'you good?'

wonwoo snorts loudly, not bothering to dignify this stupid question with an answer. no, he's not good. he's attending wedding of his best friend, who he always loved more than his own life. he's standing next to all other guests instead of standing next to you, all because of his own stupidity and fears. this is what breaks wonwoo the most - the thought that he could've had this. the knowledge, this deeply rooted confidence, that he really could've had this if only-

'slow down, wonwoo'. mingyu tries to snatch another glass of whiskey out of his hands. 'you'll be drunk in no time.'

'sounds good.' wonwoo mutters, swatting mingyu's hand away from his drink. 'i won't survive this without getting drunk.'

mingyu's eyes soften. 'hyung.. don't do it. she just-' mingyu turns to look at you and then back at wonwoo. 'right person, wrong time. you know? or- i don't know, hyung, what's done is done. let it go.'

wonwoo loves mingyu, but he wants to kill him right now for saying all this stupid shit. let you go? wonwoo doesn't know how to do that. he fears he won't be able to let you go even if he tried. how does one let go of your person? of everything you ever dreamt of? wonwoo doesn't know how, so he downs one more glass and signals waiter to bring him another one. he needs to get obnoxiously drunk to be able to look at you in that dress, knowing full well that you're not marrying him. and he follows this plan dutifully, getting so drunk that standing is not an option. for whatever weird reason his head doesn't hurt though; he just feels like something died in his mouth. his heart stopped beating at the same time you said 'yes' in front of all other guests, in front of god and - wonwoo is not okay. he wish he could just cry it out, but he can't. his fingers tremble when he latches for huge bottle of - scotch? vodka? whiskey? - something and pours it into his glass. he's pretty much alone here, everyone else is on the dance floor, enjoying the night that killed wonwoo. or maybe this night didn't kill him? maybe all these others nights, when he didn't make a first step towards you, when he was too afraid to ruin your friendship - maybe all these nights killed him? you two never really got to the point of being single at the same time, can he blame everything on this? can he blame you too, maybe? you surely knew what he was feeling. you surely felt the same, wonwoo knows, he motherfucking knows. but what's the point of it anyways? you just married another man, a man wonwoo will never be and now you'll never be his too. he drinks whatever is in his glass and closes his eyes. if only he could had a second chance. if only.

===

wonwoo wakes up with a gasp. everything about him feels wrong, his head is about to be split in two and his lungs feel like they are about to collapse. breathing in and out in large gulps, wonwoo sits up, clutching at his chest in panic. it takes him full ten minutes to calm down, for his whole body to stop feeling like he's about go in a kill mode. blinking, he looks around and reality kind of doesn't make sense. he is in his room, surely. but he is in his room from five years ago. wonwoo remembers this stolen from minghao's room chair, remembers those posters on the walls and surely remembers this dying lemon tree on the corner of his desk. he pinches himself hard and for a good measure runs to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. nothing changes. when minghao barges into his room, looking like himself but five years younger, wonwoo thinks he's going crazy. minghao, however, looks at him like he's the one who's crazy: 'dude, we're late. why you're still not dressed?'

wonwoo looks down at his old pjs - fucking hell, the ones he wore throughout his whole university - and almost screams. 'what?'

'it's our last year, woo, we talked how we can't fuck this up,' minghao shakes his head and starts furisouly typing on his phone. 'two minutes to get dressed, you know dr.hermos will be on our ass for being late!'

wonwoo dresses automatically, trying to make sense of whatever is happening. it takes him one lecture to figure out in what year and semester he is, two talks with mingyu and minghao to understand general situation and everything is too real for it to feel like a huge prank. wonwoo, somehow, moved five years back. no one else has memories of the future, no one else knows what's going to happen in five years and most importantly-

'woo?' you call his name, waving. 'come to lunch!'

you are here. of course you are, you are his best friend, you two are on the same course, you- wonwoo breathes out. you are single. he knows this for sure, because he remembers this one short time in the span of all these years, when you two were single at the same time. just for one week, but still. wonwoo holds his breath. he doesn't know how he's here, but if this is it, if this is his chance, if universe somehow decided to bless him... wonwoo swallows. he remembers vividly night before - him drunk out of his mind on your wedding. he remembers it. he never wants to experience it again.

'you alright?' you step closer to him, frowning. 'you look kinda out of it.'

wonwoo shakes his head. how can he tell you that he can't believe that you're standing right here in front of him? not married, not taken by a man who's not him? 'didn't sleep well,' he mutters, trying to smile.

'why?' you step closer, worry etched in your features as your hand reaches out to touch his elbow. 'migraines again?'

the thing about going back five years while keeping your memories of all these five years is how wonwoo can't help but feel incredibly stupid. how could he not propose to you within all these years? how could he be so stupid? how could he ever think that someone else will ever make him feel the way you do? 'nothing to worry about,' he assures you, gentle and soft as he always is with you. 'let's go eat.'

it's weird to come back to the last year of university. wonwoo knows it all, sure, but it also feels foreign. being student felt like a distant memory to him and now he's back to discussing lectures and professors, he's back to - wonwoo freezes. he's back to walking you to your dorm, back to eating dinners with you, back to always spending his time with you. his heart speeds up at this realization. wonwoo has no idea how much time he has: this day, this week or even just few hours, but he has to make most of them. he grabs your wrist right when you enter cafeteria, stopping you shortly: 'can we go outside?' he asks hurriedly. 'i need- can we just go outside?'

you look confused but nod, following him outside. wonwoo doesn't hear a thing apart from his own heart beating loudly. what if this is a weird dream? what if he got so drunk that he literally died and this is some kind of limbo in which he stuck before going to heaven/hell? wonwoo shakes his head, breathing out. he can't think about that now. whatever the hell it is - a dream, hallucination, a divine intervention - wonwoo is not going to waste it. if this is his last chance - fuck, he will risk to ruin your friendship. he will take you never speaking to him again, he will risk it all to never again be on your wedding as a guest.

'you wanted to talk about something important?' you ask after a lapse of silence, turning to him.

your shoulder brushes his arm. wonwoo presses closer, tongue-tied. why is it so hard to form sentences? 'yeah,' he finally croaks. he realizes that he's leading you towards the park where you both met for the first time. 'i...need to say something. important. yes.'

'you're kinda freaking me out, not gonna lie,' you say jokingly with a hint of nerves. 'but take your time. tell me when you're ready.'

how can wonwoo not love you? how can he not when you're this considerate, this sweet, this caring? wonwoo is helpless. he chuckles and shakes his head. your sincerity disarms him and makes it easier to be honest too: 'i'm such an idiot.'

you frown, looking at him questioningly. 'what? no. you're not, woo.'

'i am. i have been in love with you for the last four years and never said a thing. doesn't make me an idiot?' he stops, making you pause too. your eyes are as big as saucers, but you're not running away so it's a good sign. 'i feel like we're always in some relationship with other people and i- it doesn't feel right. i never said anything cause we're friends.'

wonwoo wants to add that he knows where it got him, knows how the future goes in the case when he doesn't say a thing to you. wonders if he should tell you that, but then thinks better of it. you look shocked, but there's hope glimmering in your eyes and wonwoo presses on: 'what if we tried? you and i. just one chance. that's all i'm asking for - one chance.'

you lick your lips. 'you think it'll be good? us, i mean.'

'i think- no, i know that i will regret it my whole life if i don't try.'

and this it, isn't it? that's the main point - wonwoo knows how he felt on your wedding day. nothing can be worse than that, surely. you bite your lip and wonwoo takes your hands in his, giving them light squeeze. 'just one chance,' he repeats, slowly. 'we can be so good together.'

when your lips slowly transform into a smile, wonwoo feels like he can breathe again. 'one chance,' you repeat, shyly looking up at him. 'let's make most of it.'

wonwoo wants to scream. jump up and down like a kid. instead he grabs you by the waist and spins you around. your laughter rings in his ears like the best melody and when he hugs you and you hug him back, he silently prays for this to not end. prays for anyone to not take this away from him. you giggle and he presses a kiss on top of your head, sighing. he will hold on to this one chance and he will never, ever, let you go.

a/n: time loops are my favs! hopefully you liked it, let me know! <3 - nini

my other seventeen works are HERE