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sslloowwbbuurrnn · 2 years ago

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Summer Reading #1: The Perfection of Yoga by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda

My hot girl summer reading pile is off to a slow but steady start. I’m on holiday for a fortnight, which is the perfect opportunity for me to read this pile of books I’ve been growing all year, and I’m gonna blog about it cos I can. Welcome.

I am currently slowly reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, to be consumed one bite at a time. Will keep this one going alongside the others which I will zoom through, and it’s full of tasty nuggets of wisdom that I’ll share as I go. Comparable (from my perspective) to reading the Biblical book of Proverbs. Other texts that I’m chipping through include the Secular Buddhism podcast by Noah Rasheta, and I’m about to dig into Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson. I’ve recently listened to an interview with her which covered the basic concepts, so it’s fresh in my brain. These are worth mentioning from the get go as they’re all pretty philosophical and certainly influencing the lens through which I read these other books, and for my own purposes I want to share bits and pieces from these as I digest them. I’m consuming these texts and observing how they alter my perspective as they sink into my brain. It reminds me of an excerpt from Listening, a R.A.P. Ferreira track with a spoken sample from jazz pianist Hal Galper:

“You have to be listening 28 hours a day. One of the things I count on in my teaching is that everyone has been listening, so that once I make a point, the ring of truth occurs. They say, "Oh, I've heard that," or, "I've felt that”.”

He might be speaking on music theory, but it resonates with me as I learn new concepts and then come to understand them as they become relevant in my life. I’m excited for this collection of books. It’s also my personal project as I spend this fortnight alone with my parents and after a very busy start to the new year - I’m gonna return home all wise and enlightened and shit. Noah Rasheta shares a quote from the Dalai Lama at the beginning of each podcast episode which I feel is relevant too:

“Do not try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a better Buddhist, use it to be a better whatever you already are.”

I like this as it reflects my attitude while reading the books that I am. I was wrapped up in the harmful control of Christianity for most of my life so I’m not really interested in rushing into another religion, but I am curious and seeking self improvement, and I’m excited that my learnings don’t need to fit within some kind of box. My mind is more malleable than it used to be, and I am open to whatever advice is going to help me become a more empathetic and caring member of this human community. I’m inspired to write too as it will help me remember what I learn; it’s fun to look back on my journaling and writing; and my partner is a passionate writer and it has re-awoken that in me a little. It’s a purely self-serving project but I hope other people enjoy my musings too. So without further ado, let’s jump in the deep end and criticise a religious text.

Today I finished The Perfection of Yoga by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda. It’s a very short book, elaborating on concepts around yoga and excerpts from the Bhagavad-gitā, which I received for free from some Hare Krishnas at some point. Have been looking forward to reading it as I love yoga and I wanted to understand more about its cultural background, but as it turns out that is not really what the book is about at all. I didn’t learn anything about the practice of yoga as I understand it, but I certainly understand the Hare Krishna religious practice more than I did. As a brief preface, my previous experiences with the Hare Krishnas include great food and bumping into annoying airheads on Cuba St. At every interaction they’ve really buttered me up and tried to win me over. The funniest interaction was one handing me a copy of the Bhagavad-gitā on the street as a “gift”, but as I walked away they were like “oh sorry, that’s $10”. I tried to return the book then, telling them I’m a poor student and I have no cash. They pulled out an eftpos machine. I can’t remember if it was this interaction or another one, but I also tried to decline the book due to religious differences as I was a Christian at the time. But then they went on about how much they love Christians and think we’re kind and wonderful. One way or another I was too spineless and ended up buying a copy of the Bhagavad-gitā. I tried to read it but as it was worshipping another god in the text, I put it down as it didn’t fit with my beliefs. Years later I grabbed this mini one on yoga. The other context I had going into reading this was that my partner recently told me about his brief time being involved with them years ago. While he felt the food and chanting was good and elements of their beliefs, he concluded the Hare Krishna movement served mostly as a way to scoop up the hippies of the 60s, and that it is taking advantage of young, directionless people, and separating them from their relationships and personal interests in a cult-like manner. After reading The Perfection of Yoga, I can understand why he came to that conclusion. The author Prabhupāda explains that the only way to achieve the perfection of yoga is by 24/7 thinking of Krsna (moving into Krishna Consciousness) and essentially shutting yourself off to material desires, striving only for spiritual desires and Krsna. You should only eat enough to live, sleep 6 hours a night, and ideally live in complete isolation. Everything you do must be dedicated to Krsna. Enjoying food is one of these material desires (aka sinful, worldly pleasures), so if you prepare something tasty it should only be done for Krsna as an offering, and in Krsna’s mercy he will allow you to eat it. Sex is permitted as well, but all these things are seen as necessary chores to keep your earthly vessel alive. Celibacy is encouraged and if you choose this, sitting alone with even your mother, sister, or daughter is a risk that should be avoided. You should remove material temptations from your life as much as possible. What’s really important is your soul, and time on earth is seen as temporary and your body is not your true self. Your life on earth should ideally be spent only seeking Krsna so that when your body dies your soul can either reach their version of a heaven, (which is again Krishna Consciousness I believe), or if you don’t achieve perfection you will return to earth in a new body to pick up where you left off. There are numerous other conditions one should adhere to which really shocked me, but it can be summarised as living in absolute disconnection from the world, no attachment to anything material/physical (the “illusion”), and whole dedication to the spiritual through Krishna Consciousness (the “reality”). This all reads to me as control and manipulation, encouraging ill health, eating disorders, inviting sexual and other abuse, cult behaviour, and creating a group of people ready to be inducted straight into Nazi-dom. The use of the words “pure” and “perfection” throughout this text are alarming, and to achieve this perfection is realistically unattainable. It also provides an alluring escapism from dealing with anything going on earth. The text actively encourages isolation - even if they have a family, some Indian devotees will leave their wife and children at age 40 or 50 (I can’t recall exactly and I can’t find the passage) and go to live in isolation and spend the rest of their earthly life seeking Krsna. To me this lifestyle just produces airhead zombies, and another flavour of hippies who lean dangerously close to Nazi ideology and use their beliefs as an excuse to disengage from any responsibilities as a society dweller. It’s worth acknowledging that the Hare Krishna belief system is not the only one that encourages this isolation from society, I think there’s a version of this ideology present in most religions, whether god-ordained or skewed by followers to suit their wants. The world is a pretty overwhelming place so it’s understandable why this lifestyle is appealing to people. But even so, I’m shocked by the extremity of theses parameters outlined in this book. The Perfection of Yoga was a short, interesting read, and definitely not what I was expecting at all. But I’m glad I read it, was more accessible for me than the Bhagavad-gitā, and it feels good to learn about other religions. I’ve spent most of my life as a Christian and never learning a thing about other religions, despite being vehemently opposed to them. Now I can wholeheartedly dislike the Hare Krishna movement and back it up. And I’ve gained an appetite to learn more, particularly about the harm caused by this movement, their complex ideas around reincarnation, and personally George Harrison’s album “All Things Must Pass”. If this movement really picked up momentum in the west around the 60s/70s, having ex-Beatle George Harrison releasing a whole ass chart-topping mainstream album worshiping Krishna must’ve really helped their cause.

Next on my reading list is Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake, a book all about fungi, and Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes De Mez, which is about how American white nationalism has steered western Christianity into the Trump loving beast it is today. Gonna read these in tandem since they’re quite a contrast, and neither are the kind that I want to race through without having a good chew.

I’d close with an excerpt from today’s book, except I don’t think there was actually a single passage that I really liked or agreed with... So I’ll close with something from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations instead:

“Men seek retreats for themselves - in the country, by the sea, in the hills - and you yourself are particularly prone to this yearning. But all this is quite unphilosophic, when it is open to you, at any time you want, to retreat into yourself. No retreat offers someone more quiet and relaxation than that into his own mind, especially if he can dip into thoughts there which put him at immediate and complete ease: and by ease I simply mean a well-ordered life. So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself. The doctrines you will visit there should be few and fundamental, sufficient at one meeting to wash away all your pain and send you back free of resentment at what you must rejoin.”

#writing

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sslloowwbbuurrnn · 3 years ago

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Food for thought.

Journaling is a habit I struggle to keep with much consistency. Every time I have a breakdown or feel lost, I take myself out to buy a new notebook and fun pens. This notebook will be the one and my life will change! I don’t think Tumblr can replace the private therapy of writing by hand in a notebook. But I’m finding myself more around friends who enjoy reading and writing, and it’s putting me in touch with the english nerd I used to be as a kid. It could be worthwhile articulating some of the major life epiphanies I’ve been experiencing this year, to write them as pieces. Read as; impress people with my writing skills (read as; a sign of my wonderful intellect).

I won’t be surprised if I don’t log in for another year, but I love starting a project, and I love starting a project with bullet points. So here are some things I’d like to explore that have been knocking around in my brain this year: - Becoming free of judgement from myself and others. - The fundamental controlling nature of the Church. - Yin and yang! - The empowerment that comes from recognising and identifying mental illness. - Recognising how growing up with the particular flavours of family problems, Christianity, and depression overlapped. Particularly how Christianity served as a stick to beat myself with. - Becoming more self-confident, enjoying being single, and the value of solitude. - A general think piece on my opinions of social media and the way modern life diminishes our attention spans. - Covid and the gratitude I gained after recovering. - Daddy Issues: the novel! Featuring such topics as why do I have weird relationships with men? Why did all the women in my family have weird relationships with men? - Purity culture in the Church. - Moving on from the hurt of family, and focus on making myself well without acknowledgement or apology. - Summer of debauchery: and then what? - People pleasing and being taken advantage of. Which ties nicely into my final topic, - Having a lasting sprinkle of OCD from my first city flatting experience.

If I think of more I will add them I’m sure.

But presently it is 7:53am. I have spent the last couple of weeks being constantly around people, so I have spent the last 10 hours watching a cult documentary. It’s always a shock when I am finally on my own. I feel so much pressure to spend my time well, that I just don’t do anything. Is this an example of executive dysfunction? Executive dysfunction is something I have only just discovered, and I’m sure I’ll talk more about it when I talk about how valuable identifying your mental health issues is. More likely it’s the comedown from all the uppers I took over the weekend, and the urge to pull an all nighter to compensate for not feeling satisfied with my day.

When I gave into the fact that I was not getting anymore freelance done last night, I decided it was time to get stoned, relax, and take the comedown as it washed over me. Unfortunately I don’t have any weed, so I miserably scraped all the kief I could (not much) and mixed it into a boiling hot cup of coffee, and soaked the whole bloody grinder in my mug too. I piled on the sugar but it was a pretty gross coffee, and I don’t think it got me high, rather it compounded my weird sleep deprived feeling. I also browsed all the streaming services for something light and “nice” and well, wound up watching 10 hours of The Vow. Not exactly relaxing but my brain wanted to engage with something.

I’m unsure what to do now. Writing currently feels like procrastinating. I’ve been living a very slow lifestyle for a while, but I have got myself a nice pile of freelance deadlines that I can’t put off, but Vanessa also needs decompression time. Certainly no more caffeine should go in my body for a while, so sleeping off the comedown feels like the only option. I’m home alone though, so feels like I’m not making the most of my time.

Peace.

#writing

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sslloowwbbuurrnn · 6 years ago

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