I think I slowly let life go, not consciously, at least not at first. In a way that I am still here, as a being, but my soul is absent. It's like I'm floating around, trying to ground myself and catch up with it's fast and faster going pace, but I always end up with my head in the clouds, and instead of letting them pull me up and drifting away, I search for a way down. So I'm just constantly fighting. Fighting an impossible fight and what for? There's no clear ending to it, nothing calling to me to keep trying to win, to keep going, so even if I don't like losing there's no will for me not to lose this time, and in all honesty, I'm tired. I've let it go because it let me go and I can't seem to grasp it as much as I try. There's like, a fundamental piece missing in order for me to stick. But, whether that piece is missing from me or life...that's what I can't seem to figure out.
I think I slowly let life go, not consciously, at least not at first. In a way that I am still here, as a being, but my soul is absent. It's like I'm floating around, trying to ground myself and catch up with it's fast and faster going pace, but I always end up with my head in the clouds, and instead of letting them pull me up and drifting away, I search for a way down. So I'm just constantly fighting. Fighting an impossible fight and what for? There's no clear ending to it, nothing calling to me to keep trying to win, to keep going, so even if I don't like losing there's no will for me not to lose this time, and in all honesty, I'm tired. I've let it go because it let me go and I can't seem to grasp it as much as I try. There's like, a fundamental piece missing in order for me to stick. But, whether that piece is missing from me or life...that's what I can't seem to figure out.