stinkysadskunkboy

[stinkysadskunkboy]

I don’t know what I want to end more this day or my existence

[stinkysadskunkboy]

[stinkysadskunkboy]

[stinkysadskunkboy]

"Mostly I feel numb. I feel empty on the inside, I feel like I could get hit by a truck and I wouldn't care. My life suddenly has no meaning at all for me."

- What Does Depression Feel Like?

[stinkysadskunkboy]

“The past beats inside me like a second heart.”

— John Banville, from The Sea (Vintage International, 2006)

[stinkysadskunkboy]

[stinkysadskunkboy]

“Anger walks into a bar and I’m halfway in love. There’s no joke here. I leave my beer sweating on the counter and ask them to dance. Anger comes home with me, looks too long at my gentle knuckles and cries. They say sorry, I say ‘Let’s just sleep together’. I bite Anger’s lip bloody because I can’t control myself. Because I just really, really need this. Anger asks to go slow, asks me to be gentle. Anger melts in my hands like a warmth I never wanted, falling onto the pillow beside me and laughing. Anger falls asleep with their head on my chest, solid and heavy and too familiar, while the silence inside me starts to growl like the starving thing it is. I thought I had something to feed it; something to let it tear itself to shreds with, but it turns out I’m the only pair of sharp teeth in the room. Turns out Anger only wanted a place to sleep.”

— Caitlyn Siehl, One Night Stand (via alonesomes)

[stinkysadskunkboy]

[stinkysadskunkboy]

I want to punch a wall until my fists bleed and crack. I want to destroy everything and rip myself to fucking shreds.

[stinkysadskunkboy]

[stinkysadskunkboy]

I'm not a person I'm a problem, a problem that needs to be gone and disappear

[stinkysadskunkboy]

[stinkysadskunkboy]

THE ONLY THING YOU EVER TAUGHT ME

[stinkysadskunkboy]

I just want to curl up

Curl up into a tight little ball

A little ball that gets smaller

And smaller

And

Smaller

Until

-

[stinkysadskunkboy]

[stinkysadskunkboy]

“Many survivors say, “I don’t remember anything,” without realizing that they are remembering when they suddenly startle, feel afraid, tighten up, pull back, feel shame or self-hatred, or start to tremble.”

— Janina Fisher, Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma