strangenewfeels - Tumblr blog

strangenewfeels · 2 years ago

Text

Spock / Nurse Christine Chapel - Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S2 Eps 8 & 9

So, I was gonna wait until the Finale to do another Meta, but then I saw all the Chapel hate coming out after 9, and I felt the need to insert my (uneducated) opinion.

SPOILER ALERT: Spoilers are like garlic for me. If the recipe calls for a clove, I'm adding a head. So, if you dare eat this Spanish/Ukrainian princesa's babaganoush, then this spoiler-filled Meta is for you!

Everyone clear on how this thing works? Brilliant. Let's dive in with kleenex in hand.

"Under the Cloak of War" AKA "You Had To Be There"

"The ally ambassador must have many interesting insights on delicate matters of diplomacy." ... "Christine." "What? Oh, you're doing the word game. Um, I'm sorry. I don't really have one right now."

The staging of this is so haunting and beautiful. Spock has his back to the situation, because he was never really apart of it. Spock didn't see the ravages of the Klingon War up close.

Christine faces it head-on, refusing to look away when it might be healthier for her. She shouldn't even be here. But the Veterans are forcing themselves to put on a good face for the sake of Starfleet.

And, ugh, that kills me inside. M'Benga writes it off, saying he's survived worse than polite conversation. True. But that doesn't make any of this right.

Spock is worried about his not-girlfriend, but he has no idea how to help her. He can't understand what she's been through, but she won't/can't help him understand.

And, please don't misread this as a criticism of Christine. She is under no obligation to help Spock understand. But he cannot understand it, and from his perspective, he's trying to. He never will.

"You are under duress."

Spock shifts from standing in front of her to standing alongside her. I love that choice. I don't know if it was writing, acting, directing, or something else. But it shows the shift in him turning that blind eye (intentionally or not) to standing with her.

Also, gosh, he knows her. He's observant of her. He's paying attention.

He wordlessly looks down to the glass in her hand.

"Quite understandable. I do not know much about your service in the war, but... I am available if you ever feel the need to share." "Yeah, I don't, so let's just change the subject, yeah?"

Her duress increased. The exact opposite of what Spock hoped to achieve in telling her that he was there for her.

"I just wish he would shut up for one second about all this amazing peace he's achieved." "I can help with that."

There's vulnerability in her eyes as she looks over to him, because she really doesn't want to close herself off to him.

She doesn't want to deal with all that she lost during the War. And, in a small part, what she's going to lose shortly based on Boimler's words.

Spock strides over to the Ambassador, inspired by Christine's previous words, "let's just change the subject" and he puts it into practice. As conversation shifts, he looks to her.

"Did I do right?" his eyes ask. Because all he wants is to help her. She offers him a small nod and smile in return. Yes, in a small way, this is actually helping.

"Okay, I'm gonna go see if she needs anything."

It sucks that their first time sitting alongside one another at a dinner now that they're dating is one... like this.

There's nothing to report here on them besides the fact that Christine takes the out to leave and check on Erica while Spock sits in his chair stewing over what he could have done differently to help.

Spock earnestly wants to help. He doesn't know how. And Christine doesn't know how to tell him what will help because nothing will help.

"I want to apologize for my part in last night's dinner." "You don't need to apologize. None of this is about you. You just see me going through something and our closeness makes you feel responsible."

Spock is still looking for some way to help her. But Christine is still living in moments long since passed. And he can't get there because he's never been there.

But, she's right. Their "closeness" factors into him wanting to help. We know from the future that Spock cares deeply about the people he holds closest and would do anything for them.

"You're not." "I understand." *Spock looks around to see no one there* "That is not true."

Spock steps into the corner and Christine leans against the wall. They both relax into their positions almost effortlessly, but they aren't alongside one another anymore. They aren't facing anymore. They're separated with feet planted almost perpendicular.

This is where their paths diverge. No longer towards one another. No longer alongside. This subtle blocking choice shows us we're at the beginning of the end.

"I am having difficulty watching you experience such obvious distress. I want to help."

I love the clear communication on his end. Truly! Spock is laying it all out for Christine.

"But it would appear all that I am doing is making it worse." "War, it doesn't leave you. It can, it can bury itself, but it's-it's always there."

And she's trying to give him insight. But how can she truly explain? She can't.

"I researched J'Gal. It was a forward operating base. The data suggests the loss of life was disproportionate-" "J'Gal is not a statistic, Spock. J'Gal is what it is. War, it makes sense if you've been there, but it will never make sense."

That last line. Wow. I have nothing to add.

"Like I've been trying to tell you, I just need some personal time."

Like you've been trying to... huh? She's not even looking him in the eye while she says this. Because she's taking this opportunity to take that "closeness" that makes him feel responsible for her and push it away.

Maybe she's been trying to say this, but not saying this. We know Christine's not the best at communicating what she wants in a relationship.

And we know that right now he is making it tougher on her. Even he realizes it. But what he doesn't know is that in giving her this space, now, he'll never regain back what he thought they had.

"I understand. You require personal time away from me."

And he'll give it to her. He'd do anything for her. For goodness sake, he almost started a war for her when he was still in a fully-committed engagement. Of course he'll give her space if that's what she needs.

He only hopes she'll close the gap when she's ready. But poor, sweet, Vulcan/Human boy... you aren't ready.

"Subspace Rhapsody" AKA "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart"

"Oh, I have to talk to Spock."

But. She. Doesn't. Christine doesn't like truth-filled conversations with the people she's dating. We know that this is a core flaw in her attempts at relationship—she has no idea how to effectively communicate with a romantic partner.

She's not going to talk to him... and instead he's going to stew (and eventually make his own stupid decision) because they're not communicating at all.

I feel like Christine was one of the best at communicating with Spock pre-romance. They built this really beautiful friendship. And even as they were in the early stages of their dating relationship, that connection still seemed strong.

But J'Gal tested them in a way neither predicted. And that would have happened whether or not Boimler dropped the future truth bomb.

Christine has a lot of PTSD that is unprocessed. And Spock lacks that understanding because he has never shared those experiences. I've seen relationships implode more than once when one partner had PTSD. It's brutal.

And enter this huge opportunity for Christine. She once told Spock that relationships are about mutual sacrifice, that one puts the relationship above work. But that's not how either Christine or Spock operate.

In a parallel universe, they could discuss this openly and honestly with one another. But this Spock and Christine have communication issues that they'll sadly never resolve (at least so far as we know canon).

"Unfortunately, we have had another communication failure."

Dana Horgan & Bill Wolkoff (the screenwriters of this episode), I love you. To have that line as the verbal cue to switch scenes was so bloody perfect, especially considering the state of the Spapel relationship. These two are definitely experiencing a communication failure.

"Is that transmission regarding Nurse Chapel's recent fellowship application? Was the news... favorable?"

Oh, dear, how long has he been giving her "personal time" that he's asking Uhura for updates?

"I don't look at personal correspondence." "Of course, that would be unethical."

And, look, he's not trying to spy. But he does want to know. And he wishes Christine would be the one to tell him. Our poor boy has been doing everything he can to help her—including giving her space.

But while he's been wishing to be close to her, again, she's been widening the gap.

"You and Nurse Chapel have become close, haven't you?"

Okay, so the whole crew isn't aware that these two are shacking up. But, we've seen Uhura be hyper-vigilante about the connection between Spock and Christine since Season 1. She was the first person to call it out.

And Spock really isn't sure what to say. In his mind, they are still an item, even if they aren't a "couple", right?

"I suppose it would be accurate to say that we are more than colleagues." "There's that classic Vulcan romance I've heard about."

She means it in a ribbing way, but it hurts. Uhura notices, and makes the adjustment, like any good communications officer would.

"Why don't you ask her about it?" "Of late, our communication has faced challenges."

Gosh, he needs this. In the absence of Christine, he needs someone he can talk to. Someone who can see the whole of him and truly listen. To make Uhura that foil considering the TOS-era friendship they seem to have makes total sense.

Spock Presses the Issue

It feels like Uhura and Spock both thought he'd be the one to sing when this was pressed. Was it a stupid move? Gosh, yes. But if characters didn't make mistakes, we'd scream and wail about their plasticity and lack of organic truth. They have to be flawed to be well-rounded.

But, Spock's mistake leads to one of the most energetic songs of the episode, and a lot of unspoken truths.

"Christine. Logic would dictate you are toasting good news regarding your fellowship. So, allow me to offer congratulations." "Thank you, Spock." "I am curious why you chose not to inform me. Was it an oversight? Or was it intentional?" "Can we, um, can we talk about this later?" "I am just curious."

Again, Spock pressing this in front of everyone was asinine. I'm not glossing over that. But her hiding it from him was stupid, too. They are both in the wrong in how they handled this situation.

But I truly believe Uhura though Spock would be the one to sing. They were trying to incite a song, and she could already tell he was o the verge of emotional when it came to Christine and this fellowship.

But, Christine busts out with absolute glee. And she deserves to be gleeful. A partner should never be her whole life.

And I truly believe she never would have told Spock in front of the entire bar under any other circumstances. We already set it up with La'an warning Pike and then Pike and Batel exposing themselves in front of everyone.

To borrow the phrase from Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, these are "heart songs". These are things that dwell in the deepest part of selves that would never come out under normal circumstances.

Pike would still be lying to Batel. La'an wouldn't have run off to hide in her quarters because she was belting truths. And Christine would have dealt with Spock in her own time... even if that was still a bad choice.

The song forced Christine to share this truth.

And, gosh, there are so many lyrics in here that show Christine's state of mind. The validation. The freedom. The future that she already knows she doesn't share with Spock.

Christine has applied to something that only a handful of people get into every year, and this isn't a 2-month trip that she'd return from. This could be the start of an entirely new path for her. She may never come back to Enterprise.

And, from his perspective, I see how cold-hearted it seemed. But I do not begrudge her going after her dreams. I simply abhor that she cut Spock out entirely prior to this big musical number.

But... our characters have to make mistakes. Otherwise, we'd be watching "the perfect people" do nothing every week.

"If I need to leave you, I won't fight it. I'm ready."

She speaks the line the last time... "I'm ready." It's spoken outside of the song. She means it. And it crushes him.

He turns over that left shoulder... but away from her, this time. He's spent the entire song standing still while the world around him moved, while she moved the world with her words. And now he feels out of place in a realm where she thrives.

Her spark is ignited, while his flame painfully claws at the last threads of wick before dying.

Uhura and Chapel are the only ones who watch Spock go—who understand what really happened there. We don't see Christine's reaction, but we see Erica smiling up at her.

Christine meant it. She's ready to move on. But it does kill me that she doesn't try to go after him, to seek him out, to make sure he's okay.

Again, our characters have to make mistakes. They have to screw it up. And in how she handles breakups, Christine consistently screws up. It would be out-of-character for her to handle this one well.

Again, I don't blame her for breaking up with him via song. He pushed her to sing by pushing the issue. But her actions before and after are entirely her own just as much as his to push was his. They're both idiots.

"I didn't expect Christine to be so definitive about ending our arrangement."

He doesn't even refer to it as a relationship. But, since he's opened up to Uhura at the start of the episode about them being "more than colleagues", he feels freer to speak.

He also feels exposed.

"Relationships can be difficult, Spock, and you're Vulcan" "But I am also human."

Oh, my sweet boy. You finally got there. You finally learned to embrace both sides of yourself only to experience your first true heartbreak.

And now you'll endeavor to do what so many other humans have done before you—shut out the pain.

"I feel things differently. Bigger. I see her logic and, yet, I am hurt."

Gosh, the pain. Listen to his emphasis on "hurt". This is where Ethan Peck's vocal inflection and range really sing (pardon the pun).

Uhura has never seen this level of emotion from Spock. But they are becoming friends, which is welcome and needed for both their stories. And he's opening up in a way he won't, again, for a very long time, I suspect.

"I am left behind."

I hate to say it, but I imagine this is how T'Pring felt when he took off on their engagement night. There was always something Spock seemed to be choosing over her.

The difference is that Spock thought he and T'Pring's relationship could weather all his other duties. With Christine, that isn't even a possibility she's willing to entertain.

She's done. It's over. And he's hurt.

The Music Swells

Spock and Uhura lock eyes. They both know a song is coming on, but I love how he doesn't run away, and she stays there with him.

If anyone knows what it is to be alone, it's Uhura. She's the one who pressed him to press Christine, so she's not leaving his side, now.

And it's Christine's Song. It's their song. Oh, gosh, this hurts. I didn't call it right on them sharing a song in terms of a duet, but in this melody, they share the two sides of the same song—one elated, one defeated.

Though, Spock's in the minor key where Christine was in the major. So, even though the melody and rhythm are matching, the songs aren't quite the same, even in construction. Damn, this is masterful.

My husband, who started playing piano at age 5 and studied for 21 years, said they gave Spock and Chapel the "Les Mis" treatment, and I about died laughing. He's not wrong.

"This news really changes everything-"

Starting the same way, too, whew. This is already super painful. Christine's version was a boisterous, celebratory tune with raucous dancing, cheerful backup vocals, and lots of pageantry.

Spock is in the echo chamber of Engineering. Without Uhura, he would be utterly alone. But there's no one to sing with him. His voice rings out alone.

"I can't believe how wrong I've been. Convinced myself we shared the same feelings. I won't make that mistake, again."

And Uhura can't interject to tell him about interdimentional space and everything that Christine said there. It's not her place. But, damnit, communication would have changed this whole story.

"For her I set aside my need to analyze. Now I'm wrecked and searching for Why. I'm the Ex."

Beautiful play on words. Though, I'll admit a small part of me was mentally breaking into the Calculus song from 2gether (yes, I'm that old).

While the other song was more hilarious, this one's eloquently and agonizingly crafted. It makes so much sense that our favorite Science officer is merging math and music, as only the best STEAM students can.

"I've got no one but myself to blame. I betrayed my core philosophy. Unending reason must be my true north, lest I drown in this sea of pain."

Imagine you've grown up in a constricted world and when you finally decide to break out of that and test the waters, your boat is capsized by the person you trusted to help you steer.

Spock took a great risk with this relationship, and he knew it. But he never predicted it would end like this. Yes, Christine was upfront with not wanting to label it and not wanting to tell Starfleet. She didn't pretend in any way.

But Spock still hoped. And now that hope's been dashed.

I think a lot of us have been there—having our hearts broken by someone we really trusted. Gosh, I remember my first boyfriend.

He broke up with me over the phone on my birthday, which happened to be the week of Prom. Oh, and he was cheating on me because two months in on my first relationship I wouldn't sleep with him. We still went to Prom together because I thought I could win him back.

Seventeen-year-old Rachel wasn't that bright. But she was hurt. And she had hope that she was wrong to be guarded, that it was okay to let those walls down a bit and let someone in.

"I'm so dysfunctional, weak and emotional, feelings I just can't contain. Escaping this misery, you're breaking free, not a possibility.

Uhura's brow furrows as she listens to him talking about himself so harshly.

"Weak and emotional" is a gut-punch to me considering how a season ago in episode 9 Spock was lamenting his weakness while Christine cupped his face and told him it was his emotions... and that they didn't make him weak... they made him human.

"I solved for Y in my computation but missed vital information, the variable so devastating... I'm the X."

Watch how he looks to Uhura mid-phrase. He nearly forgot she was there listening to him bare his soul. But he can't stop it as it's flowing out. He has to finish the song, no matter how painful.

"I'm the ex."

He speaks the line the same way Christine spoke her last line. Because, it's real. It's true. And it hurts like hell.

"I am sorry."

He's near tears, again, and it's all wrong. So far this season Christine, M'Benga, the transporter chief, and now Uhura have seen the Vulcan near-tears or crying. He can't have that, now. Before, he allowed himself the vulnerability. He tested the bounds of his humanity.

Never again. He refuses to let himself be hurt like that, again.

"So far, we've only witnessed people being torn apart by this event." *pointed camera on Spock*

Look, we all knew this was coming, right? This story is set in canon, and canon dictates and Spock and Christine are not together in TOS-era.

And Spock has already started to bottle up those emotions that plague him. We saw that he can pull it together quickly enough, as demonstrated in the season opener.

Yes, this will take work, but he's willing to do whatever it takes to never feel this pain, again.

The Missed Moment

At the end of the big musical number, everyone's feeling connected and elated. There's hugging and congratulations. But when Christine turns to Spock, there's a wall there.

She didn't expect that. You can tell she didn't expect him to wall her off so swiftly, though it's not entirely unexpected. And she's not going to chase after him.

But it still hurts. I mean, we all saw how broken-hearted she was at Boimler's news that she wasn't even a footnote in Spock's written story.

And I posit that's part of why this isn't harder for her—she's been letting go for weeks. Pulling away. Making space. But Spock's had mere moments to wrestle with the consequences of giving into weakness.

A few weeks ago, he would have been laughing and hugging with all of them. He was reveling in testing the waters of his humanity while basking in the love of this beautiful, human woman. So much changes in the course of a few weeks.

Look, I'm thrilled for Christine. I am definitely not a woman who thinks any woman should change her plans for a man. But celebrating with her friends over champagne before telling Spock was tacky.

And I'm not excusing him pressing her in front of their friends for an answer. While he did it under the guise of duty (and we all know how married Spock is to duty), it was a bad call.

But they're both in the wrong. Spock was right at the beginning of the episode—their communication is a problem.

And, now, their paths are potentially, permanently diverged. I say potentially because there are dozens of possibilities.

Maybe they try, again, but something external pulls them apart. Maybe they get together in another timeline. Maybe years after TOS they reunite. We can dream, right?

In the season finale, there'll be awkwardness between them, I'm sure. This looks like the Gorn issue is coming to a head, and we know from early promos that there's footage of the pair of them together in space suits.

Will it be a final coda on their relationship? I suppose we'll find out together.

There were so many little things that made me squee during this episode. Paul Wesley's voice reminding me so very much of 1960's-era Disney princes, the Gilbert & Sullivan reference, the Buffy-coded Bunny reference, Uhura's amazing earrings that were giving me major Nichelle Nichols vibes, the raucous joy of Chapel's number, the crispness and clearness of Chistina Chong's vocals, M'Benga's surprising range, the varying styles and eras... so much. I could go on and on and on.

And, I'd be so remiss if I didn't call out two things in this episode that took my breath away beyond the obvious Spapel:

"You see the connections between us when all we see are the empty spaces."

This line skewered me so beautifully. I'm a communications person. I have two degrees in it. I held together a group of friends who met at college orientation through our four years of school, and we've been together over 20 years, now.

This line is so beautiful and so meaningful. I will think of it often. Because we need people like that in the world. They're the connective tissue.

And this line captures why so beautifully with so few words. That's masterful. In a season that's all about connectivity and communication, this line stands out.

Celia Rose Gooding

No quotes needed. She's simply sensational. I like to think Nichelle Nichols is looking down on her with a proud smile on her face. Her entire solo I had chills.

Yes, there was another episode this season that focused on Uhura, but I really feel like this was her show.

We saw how she flawlessly handled all of the communications issues early, how she worked beautifully with Spock, how she cut loose with her friends with a musical number while working, and how she ultimately saved the day.

She is a marvel to watch, and I'm so grateful she had an opportunity to shine as she did in this episode. I've loved her performance up until now, but this episode is the one where I was completely wowed. What talent!

Truly, everyone was amazing this week. Yes, she was a stand-out, but everyone poured their hearts and souls and songs into this. It shows. And it's magical as a result.

My predictions for this episode weren't quite right, but the spirit sadly was. Now we get awkwardness next week in space suits. We all know how that ended for B'Elanna Torress and Tom Paris, but I doubt Christine and Spock will have such a positive experience.

Maybe some sort of resolution, but Spock's declared he won't make the same mistake, again. He's walled off that part of himself already. Christine won't be able to access it, again.

Unless, of course, I'm completely wrong and Season 3 opens with them in a parallel universe where these crazy kids get it right. But, what fun would that be?

Look, we all make mistakes. Characters make mistakes. They can't magically be completely different versions of themselves because it suits a happy ending. We all knew this wasn't a happily ever after story.

We knew it'd be messy and painful. We knew it'd end in tears. But, the writers, directors, and performers (not to mention the rest of the incredible crew) have given us something really beautiful, here. It's achingly beautiful. What a privilege to witness it.

Thanks for reading, my friends. Be kind to one another. Build one another up. And never forget that you have intrinsic value and worth that nobody can take away.

Look for the connections in the empty spaces. They're there. We're here. And you are not alone.

#spapel #meta #under the cloak of war

57 notes · View notes