strawbeerossi - Tumblr blog

strawbeerossi · 1 year ago

Text

August || Chapter Five

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid, fem!reader x Emily Prentiss

Description: After a conversation with Emily, Spencer drowns in a sea of regret and guilt. That’s when JJ gives him a harsh reality check.

Content/Warnings: Spencer/JJ centric chapter, friendships are threatened, drama, emissions of guilt, regret, Spencer thinks of you and Emily to a deep degree, a break up ensues, one use of Y/N.

WC: 2.1K

Y'all know the drill. 450 notes for next part!

Navigation || August Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Request

🏷️ @sadroses98 @mega-kittyglitter-1 @cultish-corner @s0urmarvel @measure-in-pain @yourfavoritefangirl @imjustheretoreads-blog @bookworm003 @finnysmusic @itsbritney123 @hizzielover @tlou-reid @babyspiderling @sunsebaessie @lilrios-world @reidsdaisies @heleaflm @emotionalecho @witchcraftandwit @azxulaa @small-and-violent @corpsebridenightamare @iselmeraz @mynameisnotokay @mcira @busywyourmom @reidloversisforever @staygoldsquatchling02 @sabage101 @maybe-not-this @whydoineedabloggirl @dckgzz @thebloomingeagle @lightreiding @queenbloody @marimarvelfan @renjunniex @spicycalabaza @spookyparadisesheep @uneducateddd-blog @wannabewolf @evvy96 @reap3erslov3 @reidloversisforever @bruher @shesoperfectt @pleasantwitchgarden @bippityboppityboob1tch @wannabewolf @greatcatblaze @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @littlegirl-bd @prentissluvrz @kalulakunundrum @navs-bhat @marimarvelfan @mayafatimakhan @francescaanoya

The sound of the ceramic shattering on the ground had you looking at the floor first, the overly sugary coffee surely going to make the floor sticky and give everyone’s shoes that annoying sound of them getting stuck to the ground.

“That’s going to be a pain to clean up.” Was all Emily could say, unphased by his reaction. Truth be told, he had no reason to react the way he did. He had made his bed the moment he got with JJ, losing every chance that he had with you. “Pick up the pieces, don’t need anyone getting hurt.” She added.

“So this is what you two do whenever you're supposed to be working? Not very professional.” Spencer huffed, kneeling down to pick up the remains of the navy blue coffee cup, his head shaking.

“Everyone is entitled to a lunch break for an hour every workday. What anyone else does outside of this office is absolutely none of your business.” The unit chief countered back while she was heading over to the bullpen doors. “When you’re finished, come to my office. We need to talk.”

You were looking between Spencer and Emily, hands pushed into your pockets while the both of them had their little back and forth. “Can we all just calm it down? There’s no need for any more drama than this team already has.” The voice of reason. How fitting.

“I am calm. I just find it shocking that you’re kissing our boss in the elevator.” He commented, the shards rested in the palm of his hand as he pushed himself to stand up straight.

“You have no right to be mad and you know that.” You countered, deciding against furthering the argument as you approached the doors to the bullpen. How dare he act angry at you after what he did. He had no logical reasoning to act like a child over your decisions.

You knew that this was him lashing out, showing that deep down, he really is bothered and has noticed what he lost out on. That could’ve been you and him kissing in the elevator instead of you and Emily, the both of you could be going out to lunch together… He knew where he went wrong and this was going to haunt him.

Spencer was always dramatic in that way, needing to see just what he lost before it was hitting him like a freight train. It was something he did with JJ, then he got with her and things haven’t exactly been smooth sailing in the department of their relationship.

He felt immense guilt, especially whenever JJ and Will had to make plans for the boys to visit with her. She should’ve been home with her children, not with him. Although it was seemingly too late, he highly doubted Will would take JJ back.

He made it known on several occasions that she made her bed and she had to lie in it, to suffer from the loss of a loving marriage. In a way, it made Spencer feel dirty. What would Henry think of his beloved uncle when he got older? What would Michael think? In their story, as well as yours, Spencer was the bad guy.

Those thoughts were in his mind all day after that. Even whenever being scolded by Emily, he just wasn’t present in the conversation. All he could think about was how happy you seemed with her, the way you looked at her. It made him feel nauseous.

He knew Emily would take care of you at the end of the day but all he could do is think about what he lost. Emily was the lucky one, the one who didn’t break your heart into a million pieces. She got to hold you, to kiss you, to bask in your love and presence.

His mind wandered farther, the idea of you two being intimate together. The idea made jealousy tug at his heart. She would be the one to worship you, to bring a rush of euphoria over you so strong that you wouldn’t dare think about another person in the same manner.

It made him irrationally angry, upset at Emily because she was lucky enough to step in to the relationship that should’ve been shared between you and him.

“Are you even listening?” Emily’s voice made Spencer look over at her, his eyes searching her features. She was angry at him, the comments he made earlier being the driving force behind it. He understood why, however this talk was unnecessary.

“Yes. I’m listening. I just think this is all a waste of my time and yours. I’m sorry for making the comments I made but you have to admit, you are our boss at the end of the day. If you can’t handle what I have to say, imagine hearing what other people will say.” He stated.

“I can guarantee you that nobody would care as much as you do. There will have to be a tedious paperwork process done for this to continue, but I don’t mind it.” It was a wonder how Emily kept her composure despite Spencer’s shitty attitude. “I am just asking you to stop with the comments and quite honestly, you need to grow up. The Spencer that I know would be happy for his coworkers who are also his friends. He wouldn’t be throwing a hissy fit over jealousy.”

“Look. I am happy for you, for her. I’m not jealous either.” Debatable. He didn’t care to admit things like that. “I just don’t like how I didn't know. She used to tell me everything!”

“And then you ruined that for yourself. You know that I love you but you’re acting foolish. I don’t want to constantly have battles between us, alright? Just take this time to reflect and realize what you did wrong and then let all of that built up anger go. Now, go and wash your face. Get your shit together.”

That was the end of the conversation, the male slowly pushing himself to stand before making a slow retreat from the office. Washing his face was good, would clear his head, settle his nerves.. So, he made a b-line straight for the men’s washroom. Although unbeknownst to him, JJ was hurrying out of the bullpen right behind him.

“What happened in there?” She made her presence known as she grabbed Spencer’s arm, startling him in the process. “What are you trying to pull now?”

“Trying to pull? Are you serious? Emily wanted to have a private discussion with me. I suggest you mind your own business, Jennifer.” He spat, the built up aggression causing him to breathe heavier thn usual, his face red. He needed to get to the bathroom now.

“Woah, hold on. You think you are allowed to get rude with me because you don’t know how to leave things alone? Spencer, don’t be ridiculous.” She began although the male’s hands were raised in self defense as he looked in her direction. He had no time for this.

“I know how to leave things alone. I’ve proved that enough these past few weeks. You just don’t like that all the attention isn’t on you for once. Nobody really cares what you have to say in regards to this situation. I don’t care. You don’t like the way I carry myself and that is your problem. I can’t change myself just to make you approve.”

“Are you crazy? I’m just telling you to leave them alone.”

“Yeah, well how about you leave me alone?” He spat, now turning on his heel to get to the bathroom. He knew taking out his anger on JJ wasn’t fair but she just always poked and prodded at him. He hated that.

As he made it to the bathroom, he was staring at his reflection, the man in the mirror being someone who he could barely recognize. The old Spencer would’ve never taken things this far. He would’ve been too afraid of backlash, would’ve pulled away entirely once he saw the hectic nature of what his decisions could unleash..

With the sink water steadily running, he was leaning down to splash some cold water on his face. He just needed to calm down, to think through this situation and what his options were. His brain was amazing with conjuring up ideas and theories, although it was like as of late, he was lacking.

“Get your shit together.” Spencer spoke to himself, his eyes closing to avoid looking at himself, at who he became over the years; a man who broke someone’s heart, broke a family, and broke a team dynamic. Hell, he might’ve even broken himself in the process.

The sound of flowing water coupled with his breathing was all he could hear, blocking out the rest of the world as he was bringing himself back down to a more calm and collected state. His decisions have never haunted him like these past few ones have.

Once calm, his hand was turning off the water, his eyes watching a steady pour slow down to nothing. Alright. He was alright.

Upon exiting the bathroom, JJ was still there, arms crossed as she was waiting patiently for him to come out. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” She stated, looking up at the man in front of her.

“I don’t want your help. I just- I feel like this isn’t working. I don’t like this relationship or whatever we have anymore. I can’t keep up with it, I just can’t.” He blurted out, heart beating like a drum in his chest, threatening to burst out of his chest cavity.

A tense silence came over them as JJ pursed her lips together. “After I left my husband to try and make this work?” She asked, not giving the man time to answer as she took in a breath. “Fine. Maybe you’re right. You can’t do this anymore. Because now you’ve realized the weight of your decisions. I always wanted you to reflect and realize what you did wrong, to take accountability. I just didn’t expect it to lead to this.”

“I just can’t do it. I can’t look at Henry or Michael without feeling immense guilt. I broke up the dynamic they were used to, at least contributed to it. We’ve both lost important things to us. The only difference is, you’re lucky enough to have your children. You could salvage a cordial relationship with Will. I’ve lost everything.”

“You’re unbelievable!” The blonde stared at the taller male in disbelief. “You are throwing a pity party for yourself because suddenly you feel the need to be jealous over what Emily has? After this whole experience, I can tell you that Y/N is much better off with her than she is with you.”

The ugly truth that hit Spencer harder than a train derailed from the tracks.

“I have to agree that this needs to end. You also need to leave those two alone. If anything, take my advice on that. Let them live. Let them be happy.” She frowned while bringing her hands up to tiredly rub at her face. “She doesn’t love you and you need to realize that.”

Those words stuck with Spencer, even whenever he made it to his apartment later that night. He was pacing around his living room, arms over his chest, as he really had time to think about everything. The silence never did him any favors, but he couldn’t even ignore his thoughts with a book like he usually could. He tried.

Every conclusion that he conjured up was the same; he needed to leave you alone. Not that easy, though. You knew him better than the others did. You two talked and shared a lot in the time frame of knowing each other.

He got a horrible idea, one that he knew he shouldn’t have had, but it was an idea.

With his hand digging into his pocket, he was eventually retrieving his phone, getting into it before getting to his contact list.

There wasn’t much scrolling that had to be done, eventually finding a familiar name. Your name. He was silently outweighing his options. You could answer, you could block him, or you could flat out ignore him.

So, throwing caution to the wind, he hit call, slowly sitting in the middle of the floor as he patiently waited for an answer.

494 notes · View notes

strawbeerossi · 1 year ago

Text

August || Chapter Four

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid, fem!reader x Emily Prentiss

Description: After you and Emily leave the office for lunch together, you two enjoy each other’s company.

Content/Warnings: Pure fluff, flirting, developing feelings, kissing

WC: 1.6K

Chapter Five will come out whenever this one gets 450 notes, just like I did for this chapter!

Navigation || August Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Request

The elevator door was soon opening in front of you, the arguing in the bullpen being unheard as you and Emily were soon walking through the open doors. “I’m glad we’ve been hanging out a lot more.” You broke the silence, a smile gracing your features.

“Me too. I can’t believe it took us this long to spend time together like this. It’s been nice.” Emily smiled in return while letting an arm wrap around your shoulders.

For the first time in a while, you felt content. You didn’t feel the need to push everyone away and close yourself off from the world. All you needed was the extra support and reassurance.

“It’s gonna be nice to get out of the office. It’s a nice day out. Maybe we can find somewhere with an outside dining area?” She suggested while glancing in your direction once the doors of the elevator were opening up to the parking garage, the two of you heading to Emily’s car together.

“I think that sounds perfect. Be careful, Prentiss. I may get used to being spoiled.” You teased while looking in her direction.

“I think I can handle it if it comes down to that.” She teased in return. “It’ll just give me an excuse to take you out more.”

The words had your face flushing as you offered a smile. “You shouldn’t need an excuse!” You mused while getting into the passenger seat of her car. You felt so.. Cared for. Emily had done a great job at offering the utmost support for you in your endeavors to get over the loss of two friendships.

She never let you lose yourself in the process, offering a shoulder to cry on at any time. It was her kindness and affection that made you grow into the person you’d become.

The drive was peaceful, some light conversation over minor things going on around you, both accompanied with the soft music playing from the radio. It was comfortable, something that you’d grown accustomed to feeling with Emily. Part of you felt like she was doing it to be a good friend. The other part had you swooning over the possibility of her being interested in you.

You knew better than to just assume after the Spencer debacle that threw you in for a loop, but it was nice to just sit back and be able to think about the endless possibilities that could come from this. You didn’t need anyone to be happy, but you always liked the idea of settling with someone you cared for.

You knew you were thinking way too far ahead in this instance, however you didn’t let it deter you from continuing to dream over a possible love story.

The arrival at the small cafe in downtown Quantico was what pulled you from your thoughts, your eyes looking out the window to see the colorful umbrellas over a few tables outside. “It’s not fine dining but..” Emily began before you were shaking your head.

“I think it’s perfect.”

With a smile on your face, you were opening your door and getting out of the car. There was a sigh of content coming from you as you could feel the warmth of the sun hitting your skin. The weather was just yet another indicator that today was going to be a good day.

For the first time in a while, you weren’t thinking of Spencer. Instead, you were focused on Emily, on feeling appreciated by someone who was close to you.

Emily had pulled the door open for you, letting you walk in ahead of her as you approached the front desk. After requesting a table outside, the hostess was more than happy to walk you both into the patio section, placing two menus on the table.

“This feels too fancy. Sitting outside like this might’ve been too much.” Emily joked, the both of you chuckling. “How have you been feeling lately?” She then asked, picking up the menu in front of her to look over her options with a soft hum.

“I’ve been alright. Mostly focused on work. Oh! But I am thinking about getting a cat. Pen has been mentioning how lonely old man Sergio is so I might have to get a kitten to keep the old man on his toes.” You teased. “Plus, a cat playdate is probably the cutest thing I’ve thought about all year.”

“So you haven’t been thinking about me then? I’m hurt!” The woman let out a dramatic sigh as her hand rested against her chest. “I thought what we had was special.”

“You’ve always had a flair for the dramatics, haven’t you?” You commented, flashing an amused smile.

“Maybe.. It’s easier to get attention that way. Extra attention when it comes to you.” She teased as she was placing her menu on the table. “A cat will keep you busy though, trust me. I remember when I had Sergio home with me, he was a wild child. Still probably the only man I ever needed though.” She laughed.

“At least he didn’t talk back, right?” You added on, letting out a laugh of your own.

Talking with Emily eased your mind on a lot of things. You had assumed she had some verbal crack sprinkled into your conversations, making you want to talk with her all day and all night. You could’ve sworn you had withdrawals when you were apart for too long, like the weekends without cases.

Lunch went smoothly, just lighthearted conversation and some good laughs. Instead of feeling trapped in your own thoughts, you were sitting there talking and laughing, letting loose and growing increasingly more comfortable. It was a shame you had to go back to work after though.

Whenever the two of you were leaving the restaurant, you were getting settled into the passenger seat while Emily was starting the drive back to the office.

It made you wonder about what happened back in the bullpen, if there were any more snide comments made by either Spencer or JJ. Then again, it had been a while since they had even glanced in your direction, well; you thought that way. You knew you couldn’t hold on to that anger forever, but you had to admit; it was slipping away much slower than you would’ve liked.

In a way, you were just glad that you didn’t need to worry about it. On the other hand, you missed your friends. That’s what they were before all of this and now the title was stripped and you were left with two acquaintances.

You dreaded the idea of letting them go entirely. Even with anger for JJ and Spencer, you did still care about them. It was hard not to, especially after knowing them for so many years. You still thought about the inside jokes, stories, even poking fun at one another. The time spent along them made you into the person who you were. You just never expected for things to do a somersault in the way that they did.

“Are you alright over there?” Emily broke the silence, noticing the way you were deep in thought. “You know you can talk to me.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Just thinking of how it’s gonna be back at the office. I really don’t want to go back and do paperwork.” You groaned, offering a smile.

Emily didn’t buy that excuse. “Are you sure? You looked pretty out of it and you’re not even like that on the hardest of cases. Talk to me.”

God damn it. You should’ve known that the profiler in the driver’s seat would know better.

“I’m just worried about my friendship with Spencer and JJ. I know I’ve acted like a fool for months over that whole situation but.. They are still my friends, well, they were. I don’t wanna lose them entirely, but what if I have to?”

“You don’t have to lose them. You’re a good person, that’s why you care. I think in time, friendships can be mended and things can go back to seminormal.” She assured, her hand reaching over to rest on your knee.

It was a simple touch, but it made your face feel hot as you looked out the passenger side window. “I’m sure it will, but it still scares me.” You sighed while placing one of your hands over Emily’s. “Thanks for listening and reassuring me.” You added, making the woman shrug as she was turning into the parking garage before approaching her spot, her hand pulling away from yours as she was pulling in.

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s what I’m here for, you know that. You’re not a baby for having feelings, remember that. Emotions make you human.” The words were further reassurance. She really knew just what to say.

The two of you were heading back to the elevator together, hopping on as you hit the button for the floor you needed. “Lunch today was fun. Definitely a great way to celebrate us finishing paperwork.” You teased as you turned back to Emily, the woman playfully nudging your arm.

“You’re getting it next time. I hope you know that.”

“Fine.” You groaned in a dramatic fashion, glancing at the woman with a smile.

There was a content silence between the both of you, although there was another presence in the elevator. A light tension that you couldn’t quite place.

While you were deep in your thoughts trying to figure out the warmth washing over the both of you, Emily was putting her hand gently against your cheek, the delicate touch making you blink back to reality. Before you knew it, that tension was dissolving as you felt a soft pair of lips pressing against yours. The kiss felt so right.

Although as soon as the doors were opening, you were both quickly pulling away from each other at the sounds of a mug shattering on the floor.

“What the fuck?” Spencer's voice echoed through the hall.

#strawbeerossi august series #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid series #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid au #emily prentiss fandom #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss fanfiction #

536 notes · View notes