styllexie

[styllexie]

Pictures of what I ate during my Ana phase last summer (I lost 15kg so lock in)

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The hidden folder in my photo app is either thinspo (from tumblr) or fatspo (my bodychecks)

[styllexie]

Rules for the rest of June because I’m not waiting for July to start

- don’t eat before school

- pack and track a lunch for school the day before, under 400 cal

- net calories need to be under 600

- one fasting day when I don’t have practice (Wednesday or Friday)

- don’t have snacks

- when I’m hungry or bored I take my Stanley cup and chug as much water as I can

Day 1 starts tomorrow morning

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This was me two summers ago, wearing the exact same jacket that I wore today

It was loose then, today it was skin tight

People were literally telling me to please eat more because it was obvious that I lost a lot of weight in a short time

I was fucking there….. what the fuck happened I’m gonna lock in

It was especially bad today, I broke down multiple times and had a perpetual migraine because I cried so much

Then of course I ate

Out if habit mostly, I wasn’t really hungry

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IF MY PANTS FIT LOOSE WHY THE SCALE DOES NOT GO DOWN????????? i’m losing my mind!!

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If one more “@na coach” dms me I’m gonna go insane

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But it’s proving to be hell on earth SOS help me

Omg I’m not kidding after two weeks I’m finally sh!tt!ng

[styllexie]

Omg I’m not kidding after two weeks I’m finally sh!tt!ng

[styllexie]

Pro tip if you struggle with binging from someone who lost 10kg and gained 15 in one month due to binging:

I found that when I don’t eat at all, as silly as it sounds, I don’t binge.

Binging is such a hard addiction to stop because you can’t go cold turkey like with smoking.

At least in theory but once I actually did go cold turkey and just didn’t eat, I didn’t get triggered by the taste and haven’t binged in months <33

[styllexie]

Silliest thing I ever did: secretly buy a scale and hide it in the basement until I had a chance to sneak it into the house 🤭🤭

I totally underestimated its size and I really thought I could fit it in my backpack.. ☹️

[styllexie]

I’m finally buying a scale today!!! I made $60 by babysitting yesterday and I’m in the city today so it’s the perfect opportunity

I’ve probably lost 5 ish kg without weighing myself but I’m gonna do the trick or treat October challenge 🤭

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My upper stomach is so flat but my lower is still so big😭

Maybe it’s cuz I haven’t p00ped in 5 days…

[styllexie]

I had the biggest motivation boost today.

I’ve been restricting very strictly and successfully for about a week and I remember LAST WEEK in volleyball practice feeling insecure cuz my stomach was peeking out of my shirt..

Well today at practice you weren’t able to see my stomach at. all!

I feel and look so so much thinner guys don’t give up💓💓💓

[styllexie]

Guess my fav drink challenge

[styllexie]

Crazy how fast my brain adjusts.. I went from eating 2000+ c@ls a day and being body positive to being back to eating 0-500 c@ls a day and being so happy when I’m hungry

How I love it 😍

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Just found out chicken broth… could break your fast. YOURE TELLING ME I DIDNT FAST FOR 43 HOURS AFTER ALL AAAAGHHHHHHH

[styllexie]

I’m on hour 26 of my 45ish h fast and I conquered one of the worst things ever! I actually came home from school (absolutely exhausted and famished lol) and didn’t eat! Even though my mom baked my fav cake everrrrr (szarlotka)

I feel so so good rn and prepping my food for breaking my fast tmr made me so so proud and happy!

I’ll break it with an apple, 100g of pasta with 100g of arrabbiata sauce and a box of pickles. Then before volleyball I’ll have 35g (lol😭) of a banana and alll that’s under 300 cals. Wow.

Off topic but my fav fast help ever is instant broth (rosół) ugh so good