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he says he’s not nice

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There’s no way he’s posting this pic, at 23:23 (his time) on a random Tuesday and literally BLOWING MY MIND!!!

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“Hot and bothered” in the sense that it is 90 degrees out and I am extremely annoyed

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Our good old friend Bildad is always ready to lend a bony shoulder for your weary head and soft words to lessen your worries about Falling🥰

This was my piece for the @bildadzine and it's this month's ρατreοn postcard!

Patreon

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New tlt art! Yep!💀

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Fearful Memories (Aziraphale KNOWS)

[Moments that Matter]

"Silly Aziraphale. Clueless Aziraphale.

So easily taken in. So devoted to Heaven he can't see how awful it really is.

Guess that's why he left Crowley..."

?????????

Look at this moment. If you believe that Aziraphale has dreamy thoughts of heaven, and is idealistic about how "right and good" it is, look very closely.

That's not just a startle response. It's exaggerated, extreme, terrified. Aziraphale's eyes become unfocused for a moment. He's literally swaying, disoriented and off-balance. When he refocuses, he's not reassured that it's "just Jim". Aziraphale isn't seeing "just Jim". He's seeing a threat to his life, to his existance. That's PTSD, folks.

That's trauma.

Aziraphale was deep in thought about heaven at the time of the God/Satan Job bet, 2500 BC. He was remembering how Gabriel and Michael couldn't begin to comprehend the love that Job and Sitis had for their children, that they wouldn't want them destroyed and replaced. Aziraphale had futilely tried to advocate and explain, about human parental love, and and also that 7 more births wouldn't be a positive thing for Sitis. During the interaction, our Angel was scoffed at, disbelieved, patronized, mocked, minimized, and accused of not trusting God's plans. It was controlling, debasing, and altogether toxic.

Interestingly, their casual violence of destroying and replacing Job's children was subtle. The archangels don't see themselves as violent. They're RIGHTEOUS. They're "the Good Guys." Destroy Job's livelihood and his family? God's will. Battle your fellow angels and cast them plunging down into pools of burning sulfur and darkness? That's Justice. Even those who weren't violent, and just challenged your authority by asking too many damn fool questions? ABSOLUTELY FINE. They deserve it.

Heaven carries a constant undertone of violence. The threat is everpresent. "We did it before -- we are capable of doing it again." And Aziraphale is constantly hypervigilant because of it.

Worst of all, some of them enjoy it...

Aziraphale doesn't forget. He copes. He masks. He gives performative compliance to survive. They watch. They listen. Aziraphale spouts off heavenly rhetoric to keep them at bay and to keep his beloved demon safe.

Crowley didn't forgive Gabriel for trying to destroy Aziraphale with hellfire. Why do we somehow assume that Azi will forgive heaven and the archangels, when it was Crowley they actually kidnapped and beat and cast into the fire? (I have serious questions about how Crowley came to be tied into that chair. When we see him examine his bonds, I suspect he just came back into consciousness.)

"Oh, but Crowley didn't tell him about it!"

It's very clear that he did, prior to the first episode of S2. Crowley states during their argument about Jim that this is the same heavenly boss that tried to cast Aziraphale into hellfire. It obviously wasn't news to Aziraphale -- he doesn't miss a beat. He's simply focused on protecting this lost helpless featherless bird that's also been victimized by heaven.

"Okay, but that stuff was all done by the archangels. Aziraphale still let himself get sweet-talked and flattered by the Metatron, because he still believes heaven and the Metatron are Good."

We know -- WE KNOW -- that Aziraphale will do anything to protect Crowley. We've seen it over and over.

And we also know -- we are clearly shown -- that the Metatron hates Crowley, and Aziraphale knows it. Our Angel sees the same look we see. He keeps walking, anxiously trying to lead the Metatron away from Crowley.

Remember, this is the same Metatron who broke the last remnants of Aziraphale's innocence in S1. The same Metatron who spoke so casually about how "a multi-nation nuclear exhange would be a nice start" to the War between Heaven and Hell. Who didn't give the slightest thought about all the lives on Earth.

Aziraphale remembers this too.

Aziraphale is not a fool. He's a survivor, and a Protector. He's the fecking ANGEL OF THE EASTERN GATE who risked damnation to give his Flaming Sword to protect a pregant couple from the wilderness, and LIED to the Supreme Archangel to save the lives of 3 children. He's the Principality who was willing to go up against a giant Hellhound unarmed, and held his restored Sword up against Satan himself, knowing full well it would be futile.

Aziraphale is not stupid. He's analytical, investigative. He makes connections, sees patterns. He studied and solved the mysteries of Agnes Nutter's prophesies, and he studied and researched and remembered to explore the mystery of what happened to Gabriel.

Aziraphale knows what heaven is like. Imagine the Courage it took to return there. He had a much bigger reason than being cajoled and flattered. He would never believe that he could rewrite heaven's rules and make it all better.

Aziraphale had a plan. A spontaneous plan, a crazy plan, a desperate plan? Absolutely.

But fooled by heaven? Silly you, if you were even thinking it.

*****

(Btw, I think Crowley was part of that desperate, chaotic plan, but that's all explained in my Chess Moves Theory set!)

*****

Thanks for being here, and for considering the eager and enthusiastic writings of a stalwart Aziraphale defender and a believer in the Ineffable Old Married Couple!

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the apple sketch

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This summer will be the same as the last one: me under a train for those dumbasses

(soon the Aziraphale going to visit Crowley version because we have never enough versions of the first kiss™)

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Just a silly thing... 🙃

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i’m pretty sure this is what aziraphale had in mind during those few seconds >u>

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Hey don't cry, okay? We just found Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna, a species thought to be extinct for the past 60 years.

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Hey don't cry, okay? We just found Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna, a species thought to be extinct for the past 60 years.

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👀

Based on this frame from the bts episode:

I couldn't help it 😔

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soooooooomewheeeeeere over the rainbow

skies are blue