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sunshine-and-kookies · 1 year ago

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#It-is-2-am-and-I’m-SOBBING😭😭

I Want You to Stay (12) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; mentions of childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; mention of past experience of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts, business/property devt, and book talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; sexual content (18+)

Chapter Word count: 24.7k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: Hiii so this took a while but thank for being patient and showing so much love! This might sting a bit but I hope you enjoy it. We're close to the end so don't lose hope! 🤭🤭

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

There’s a kind of pain you don’t want to experience, one of a broken heart caused by someone you’ve given your all to. This doesn’t feel like that, but it’s close.

It’s so damn close that you feel your chest tightening, the unfamiliar feeling of loss of a person you never even had overwhelming you. You press your palms on your ears to block the sound of your heart breaking, but even that doesn’t do anything.

You let go, your fingers now shaking as you type away. Jungkook has asked you to send him your resignation letter so he can forward it to HR for documentation. It’s like saying goodbye to him all over again, and it doesn’t hurt any less.

This is all on you though, you remind yourself. Wanting him was wrong in the first place - he’s your boss, the man who pays you, who needs you so he could do his job, so you could make his life easier. But he’s also the son of the man that your family is indebted to; a man who, in a lot of ways, shaped the way you approach life and determine what you want out of it. Jungkook stands as a reminder of who you are and where you came from, of the childhood you had, and the decisions you made to get to where you are now. You let your guard down and let him in, and you let yourself fall for a man whose own past was always going to intertwine with yours.

You don’t know what you were thinking, kissing him and believing that things would fall into place. That was the thing - he kissed you and you kissed him back, a moment of weakness that you had no business having, as if almost doing it the first time wasn’t bad enough. You planned on leaving, and you hoped that you’d get to tell him on your own terms, that you’d have time to process your feelings and then explain yourself to him, that you’d be able to process his feelings and see the sincerity in them.

But life doesn’t always play out the way you want to, and you can keep thinking that people would react the way you hope they would but you’re human. You fell into his touch and wanted so much of it that you couldn’t think properly. He asked you to stay - expected it actually, which is the last thing you wanted him to do.

And now you’re left here with a lot of emotions that you don’t know what to do with - all conflicting, all overwhelming, and all seemingly out of your control.

You can’t deny what you feel for Jungkook. The thought that he feels the same should be something you welcome, but with how you both learned about it, and with him now knowing the secret you’ve been keeping, it’s hard to think how you both could move forward without those feelings of doubt, perhaps of distrust. You know enough that those aren’t good starting points for any relationship.

You’re doing what you have to do. Resigning was always the plan, but doing it this way wasn’t. You also didn’t expect you’d be leaving so much more than just a team you enjoy being a part of and a boss you’ve come to admire, a man who’s come to mean a lot of things to you.

And so even if this is the decision you’ll make every single time, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt you to be making it. Perhaps it’s now just dawning on you that you’re truly walking away from this job, and that may mean walking away from, too. This is when you realize just how big that loss is gonna be.

Jungkook made you braver. He made you feel understood and less alone. He showed you that beautiful things do exist, that you can capture them so you could hold onto the good memories, and doing that is one way to move on from the things that hurt.

Without realizing it, he’d become the person you were willing to crawl out of your walls for. But just like him, maybe your timing wasn’t right either. No matter how strong the feelings are, something just happens to be more important than being with him - feeling free is one, knowing that you’re able to do this for yourself is another. There’s wanting sincerity, too, on his end and on yours.

You know you need time to sort yourself out, to know what you want outside of all this, but the way he goes on about his business is affecting you more than you expected. He’s essentially giving you two weeks to stay in the office. He’s having Lucas fly in immediately. The implications are breaking you even more - perhaps you’ll be kept out of the projects; maybe you’ll no longer do your morning routines with him.

Perhaps he’s still overwhelmed about everything he knows. And perhaps he’s realizing he doesn’t want that complication in his life anymore. Maybe he doesn’t want to deal with you and the mess you created, given all the stress and pressure he’s under.

Maybe you were that easy to let go, too.

The thought feels like a slap on the face.

But you’re the foolish one who wanted to leave but who also hoped he’d go after you. He didn’t do it last Friday. He’s not going to do that now. You doubt that after your last day, he would do it either.

The tears dance around your eyelids. Everything becomes blurry, and after the first one falls, you stand from your desk and head to the washroom. You give yourself just 10 minutes to silently cry. You hadn’t prepared for this enough, and now the thought of saying goodbye to the team and leaving Jungkook during a big project launch weighs heavily on you.

You calm yourself down, thinking that if you’d chosen to delay it, everything else would be harder - seeing him, being close to him, knowing you both feel the same way but not knowing if that’s enough. Or if it’s real.

You get to be selfish this time and leave for your own reasons. You get to choose which heartbreak you’ll face and for how long you’ll feel it. You get to decide which burdens you’ll carry and what you’re walking away from.

The team will understand. You’ll give your all for the next few weeks you’ll be around and make sure that Lucas guides them well. Hoseok will be supportive. You know that he’ll always encourage you to go where you’re happiest. You just hope he won’t carry any guilt for being one of the reasons why you stayed now that he knows the truth. CEO Jeon might still ask you to wait, or he might just not want to see you again if he knows what really happened with his son, and that’s something you’ll have to learn to deal with as well. You don’t want to think you’re burning bridges with this decision, but you also know that those who truly care would want this for you, too.

But despite all that, the guilt and the sadness don’t go away. You’d once thought you could be happy with Jungkook. He’d given you a peek into a life where you could be, and he’d given you a taste of what it’s like to feel that all-consuming desire for someone. You don’t know if you’ll have that or feel that again for another person, but you at least now know what you’re searching for.

Maybe you’ll get over yourself and find the words to tell him what you feel or hope for both of you. Maybe you’ll find your way back to each other someday. You might also have to face the possibility that this decision is what pulls you apart for good, and the thought breaks your heart again.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes. You think of the comfort of your morning routines and the shared silence. You think about the warmth you felt from all the food he’d sent when you were sick and injured. You think about that night you felt brave because he’d been with you when you were scared. You think about the tranquility of being in his presence as you gazed at the mountains and felt free being outdoors. You think about feeling understood during the times when you’d been honest and so had he.

These are the good memories he gave you, the ones you’ll hold onto as you go through all this. You wonder if he keeps them in a nook in his heart the way you do, and if he’ll hold onto them as well as you walk away from him and from what you could’ve been.

The thoughts are enough to suspend your sadness for a while. You fix yourself up and while it wasn’t a big cry, your slightly swollen eyes could still give you away. You decide it’s not much of a problem. Until, of course, when you make it back to your desk, about to sit down to resume your tasks, and Jungkook opens his door and locks eyes with you.

There’s a moment where you hold each other’s gazes, and you see his face fall a little, softening briefly before he looks away, the seriousness coming back again. He attempts to say something but he stops, looking down at the papers he’s holding instead and asks you to photocopy them for distribution to the team.

You nod in confirmation, and as you’re about to walk out, Hoseok shows up.

“Are you free?” He asks Jungkook. “I need to run some things with you.”

“Sure,” Jungkook replies, glancing at you before walking back to his room.

Hoseok finally turns to you and sees your glassy eyes. His face falls, unsure how to comfort you during this time. He was never sure how to do that before, and he feels heavier thinking that so many times when you still worked for him, you probably wanted to quit but couldn’t. And that maybe his claims of needing you around to help him helped keep you here, in a place that wasn’t giving you that joy and satisfaction that you deserve.

“___,” he calls out. “I got the notice. How are you feeling?”

“Well, I see that word travels fast,” you giggle, an attempt to avoid a somber conversation. You also don’t know how to explain whatever it is you’re feeling so it’s not something you’re keen on addressing.

“HR was actually the one that informed me and uncle,” he explains. “Losing you is a big deal so they thought to let us know right away. And I only mean that because you’re an integral part of this company. And you… you matter to my family. You matter to me, and I know you matter to him.”

Hoseok gestures towards Jungkook’s direction, prompting you to look away. The man in front of you sighs and apologizes, adding that you’ve come to mean so much to the people he cares for, including his wife.

“You welcomed me to your family, Hoseok,” you respond. “You and A-yeong treated me like one and I always will be. But none of the sadness yet. I’ll still be here for the next month.”

“I’ll take my time in saying goodbye then,” he says, his genuine smile serving as the comfort you badly need. “And I hope it’s not for good.”

“Not to you,” you assure him. “I’m not that easy to get rid of.”

“Good,” he says, his eyes softening in understanding and acceptance. “I’ll just meet with Jungkook. I’ll catch up with you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” you say. “And uh, thank you.”

Your smile holds in it a lot of emotions for the man who’s become your friend all these years. And you know that whatever happens with Jungkook, Hoseok will always be a person you’ll treasure.

You walk out while he enters the room and closes the door.

Jungkook’s eyebrows are scrunched as he gives instructions over the phone while also typing on his desktop. Hoseok can sense the stress and tension all over his cousin, and he hopes that especially with this, the younger man finds it in him to talk about what he’s feeling. There’s fear that he’ll keep it all to himself again, and in doing so, he might just push you away even more.

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Hoseok asks after the call ends.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Jungkook huffs.

There’s a beat of silence before Hoseok speaks again. “So, you already have a replacement for ___, huh?” He says, having just heard Jungkook’s conversation about Lucas’ work visa requirements over the phone. “Isn’t that too fast?”

“The Arts Center launch is in a couple of weeks. I can’t have delays,” Jungkook explains. “Sending Lucas here will require less time than looking for a new assistant. He’s familiar with the project and he’s used to working for me so he can take over with the preparations. I’ve received father’s approval for his transfer.”

“What about ___, then?”

“What about her?” Jungkook asks bitterly. “She’s resigned. I’ll have her focus on turning everything over and documenting key projects and practices. She has vacation leaves to use up for the last month she’s here.”

“Just like that?” Hoseok questions. “She resigns today and then you’ve gotten everything sorted out for her departure, just like that? As if you can’t wait for her to leave?”

“She wanted this,” Jungkook counters. “You heard what Mr. Ri said. She’s been wanting to do this for years, and I’m just making sure she’s not bothered by what she’s leaving behind. Having Lucas here will assure her that the team will continue to function and that she’s not delaying anything by deciding to leave. She doesn’t have to worry about anything.”

And it’s the truth. Hearing what you went through and that you’d thought of resigning several times before makes Jungkook think that you haven’t been happy here for a long while. He’s unsure if you’d always planned on leaving before the Arts Center launch, or if what happened last Friday prompted you to do this now. But still, it seemed so easy for you to make the decision, as if you can’t wait to leave him, as if being around him hurts you that much, as if you know that whatever it is you’re looking for isn’t here.

Jungkook spent all of last weekend replaying that night in his mind - from the way you pulled him close to you and to the way his heart broke when you pulled away. He doesn’t know what you want from him. You kissed him as if you wanted him. He felt your desire as your hands danced around his chest, as you moaned against his lips, as you thrusted against him like you wanted more, and he would’ve given it all to you, he would’ve given you everything, but the words he’d never told anyone slipped from his mouth and somehow, that’s what made you create that distance.

Perhaps it’s what made you not want to stay.

But he wouldn’t have known because he didn’t ask. At the thought of you no longer being by his side, he faltered. At the thought of losing the routine you’ve both created and the comfort you’ve been giving him everyday, he caved in. He lost all sense and just wanted to keep you. He’d disregarded every rule, crossed every boundary he created, and thought of nothing else but to be with you. He made the mistake of not thinking about you, the person he wants.

He naively believed that your expression of desire meant that nothing else mattered - you’d be with him regardless. But he realized that maybe he doesn’t know you at all. He would’ve risked everything but maybe you wouldn’t. You make him happy and that’s all he cares about but maybe he’s not enough for you. He’d do anything to be with you everyday but maybe that’s not what you want.

The thought that that moment made you realize that maybe, he’s not what you wanted after all creates another crack in his heart. That cold, stubborn heart of his hasn’t felt much in years but it betrayed him this time. It called out for you and he’s afraid to find out that it still will, after everything.

“Have you spoken to her?” Hoseok pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah,” Jungkook replies. “I gave her my recommendation letter, told her about Lucas replacing her, and that she still has leaves to take.”

“I meant about both of you,” Hoseok clarifies. “About what you both feel, about what that means and what happens after that.”

“What is there to talk about?” Jungkook groans. “She left me that night. I come here today with a resignation letter on my desk. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you,” Hoseok says.

“It doesn’t mean she does,” Jungkook counters. “Clearly, her happiness outside of this company is her priority. And it should be. She doesn’t have a reason to stay here anymore.”

“And what if that happiness could include you? Did you even think about that?”

“Then she could’ve said that if she wanted to. It was her decision, it was her call.”

“You think it’s that easy to say that? Then why don’t you go ahead and tell her what you feel and want?”

“I did!” Jungkook almost yells now, thankful for the thick walls of this room. “And she pulled away! She said she couldn’t do this, that she couldn’t do this with me. That tells me everything I need to know, Hoseok. Whatever she feels for me isn’t that strong. I was stupid to believe an overheard conversation. I heard that she liked me and I thought, all I had to do was tell her that I felt the same way. But it wasn’t enough. I asked her to stay and she said she couldn’t. I don’t matter to her. Not in the way that she matters to me.”

“Why did she cry, then?” Hoseok asks. “Did you notice that?”

Of course Jungkook did. He’s seen you cry a few times, a sight he never wants to see again, and seeing your puffy eyes earlier made him want to just forget everything and hug you so he could help make the hurt go away. It’s something he’s wanted to do before and there’s a reason why he never did. Today, he knew that doing so would make it harder for him. So all he could do was look away.

“She wouldn’t be that upset if all this didn’t matter to her. If you didn’t matter that much to her,” Hoseok adds.

“This job mattered to her, too. You and I know how she works. Maybe there’s guilt or worry that she’s leaving at this critical time, which is why I’m trying to make the transition easy,” Jungkook reasons. “She’s leaving a lot of things and people behind and that could be hard for anyone. She’s crucial to the team but I don’t want there to be anything else that would hold her back. Not anymore.”

“But all these arrangements… it’s as if it’s so easy to replace her,” Hoseok sighs. “Are you even giving yourself time to just process all of this?”

“And then what? Give myself time to realize again that I can’t do this without her? I already know that I can’t, I can’t replace her, not in any way but I…” Jungkook heaves. “I can’t give in to those feelings and end up asking her to reconsider her decision. She has a life to live outside of this but this is mine. I have a project to launch, a name to uphold…”

A broken heart to live with, he doesn’t say.

“I don’t know what else to do but this,” he adds, his head bowing down as he pinches the corners of his eyes. He’s just trying to deal with losing you in more than one way, and trying to maintain whatever professionalism he has left after everything.

Hoseok sighs as he watches his cousin stop himself from falling apart. It’s true that everything feels so sudden. Perhaps for you, the best decision you could make after what happened last Friday is to leave and he wouldn’t fault you for that, especially after what you gave up to be here. And maybe Jungkook is just trying to deal with that pain of losing you as his assistant and the possibility of more in the way that he knows how - distance, detachment. It’s how the younger man has always chosen to deal with things he can’t control, and as someone who’s seen him try to move on from his own past, it’s hard for Hoseok to stand by and watch Jungkook hurt this way when he knows that you care about him, too.

It wasn’t always obvious, but at one point, Hoseok started to notice things; he just never questioned them. You were always competent. When you were his assistant, you paid attention to every detail and made sure that he was always at his best. But this past year, Hoseok had seen you pay attention to Jungkook in a more meaningful way. He’d seen you care for the younger man, showed him kindness that no one’s bothered to do before. And that’s done so much for him as he learned to open himself up, to allow himself to feel a different kind of vulnerability, to feel like he could be himself again, and that he’ll be accepted for all the scared and flawed parts of him.

All Hoseok can do is at least help his cousin be honest about what he feels and help him not lose you completely. But much as he wants to figure this out with Jungkook, life continues, and right now, there are some executive decisions both men have to make. So he redirects the conversation, and it’s half an hour later when they come up with a policy statement that they send to CEO Jeon as instructed.

That’s at least one other important thing that Jungkook can tick off his list. He’s determined to just focus on all work matters for today, hoping that would keep his mind off of you.

But that’s impossible when you still have a role to play in his life, as you enter his room after Hoseok exits, avoiding the older man’s worried gaze. You glance at Jungkook just once, placing a folder of documents on his desk for his signature.

He’s past the second of a dozen pages when he speaks, his eyes glued to the papers, not wanting to look at your face.

“I intend on telling the team about your resignation during tomorrow’s meeting,” he says. “I’ll release the company-wide announcement on Wednesday, followed by an email to other partners and contacts. The Arts Center launch is happening in a few weeks and we can’t have delays, so I’ll be endorsing Lucas soon after.”

“I understand, Mr. Jeon,” you say, trying to stabilize your voice. “If you need me to draft anything—”

“There’s no need, I will do that.”

“That’s noted, sir.”

You remain standing in front of him, watching him go through each page and feeling like you could burst any moment. Somehow he seems like that man you met almost a year ago - focused yet detached, close but so far away.

“You’re also no longer required to come to my apartment every morning,” he continues. “I’ll only need you to come on Thursday so you could give Lucas your access and brief him about the building and where things are. Mr. Ri could still drive you to work until your last day.”

“That service was extended to me for the purpose of assisting you every morning, Mr. Jeon,” you say, your voice sounding firm this time. “That is no longer necessary.”

You see him stop his movements for a second before he resumes and nods in acknowledgment of your statement.

As you watch him sign the last few pages, you allow yourself a brief moment to wish that you’d just left much sooner, during a time when he wasn’t around so you didn’t have to feel this agonizing pain of him slowly slipping away. Everytime you remind yourself that you made this decision, you’re pulled back by the thought that leaving didn’t have to mean that you’d lose him completely.

But with the way he acts now, with how he’s distancing himself from you and everything you shared, you’re starting to think that maybe he’s decided on this, too - that this is goodbye and that there’s nothing for both of you after this. It’s a hard pill to swallow but one you suppose you should - this was your call and you didn’t give him a choice in the matter. Perhaps this is his way of dealing with your departure as well. That’s something you can’t fault him for doing.

That leaves you with no choice but to deal with the pain, too. You don’t know exactly how. You’ve never really gone through this before. All your breakups didn’t hurt like this, probably because you knew from the beginning that they would end anyway, that you wouldn’t care more than you planned.

But Jungkook is different. You didn’t expect him to be the one you’d care for, that you’d yearn for, that you’d want with all of you. But you watch on as he slips right through your fingers, and whatever hope you had of finding your way back to him in the future withers away. This is how you lose him, and you’ll try hard to keep only the good memories with you.

He finishes signing the papers then he hands them over to you, his eyes only briefly meeting yours. He turns towards his desktop but he speaks again.

“HR requires me to have an exit interview with you,” he says. “But due to our personal circumstances, I don’t think that’s appropriate. I’ve asked Hoseok to conduct it instead. You may just schedule it with him within the next week. You’ll also be provided with a list of all the things you need to submit for your clearance. Just let me know what you need from me and I’ll work on it right away.”

It takes a while for you to respond, as you notice him slowly look your way.

“Understood, sir,” you manage to say, so softly like a breath, even you could barely hear yourself.

But the words come out, almost emotionless now as you just take in all his instructions. You gave him your letter only a few hours ago and now he’s got everything organized for your departure, almost as if he wants the complication, that is you, dealt with immediately.

You’ve disrupted his routine and messed up a lot of his plans. He’s always said he hates change, and you’ve caused one of the biggest ones he’s ever had to deal with. You don’t blame him for not wanting to do anything with you anymore.

You nod and head out, knowing that you’re slowly losing your place in his life, even as his assistant. He doesn’t call for you the rest of the day, even for coffee. You’re tempted to knock on his door and ask if there’s anything else he needs for you to do before you clock out, but you decide against it, slowly feeling like you’re no longer welcome.

You mindlessly walk out the building and down the street, feeling the weight of everything drag you down. You’d thought that finally doing this would make you feel liberated, like you’d be relieved of your burdens and even of a secret that you no longer have to keep. But as the minutes pass by, everything is just getting heavier and heavier. Your heart doesn’t loosen up, either.

And as you stare at the barely eaten sujebi from your favorite noodle house and the piece of choco pie that you bought from the convenience store that you now have no appetite to eat, you feel yourself falling apart. You don’t know what you were expecting but it wasn’t this. You hated doubting Jungkook’s sincerity about what he felt but now you’re faced with his seeming apathy. It makes you wonder once more if he really felt anything for you, or if he just mistook his practical need for you as something more.

Maybe you’ll never know. At this point, he’s just your boss who’s running a company and preparing to launch the biggest project of his life. All you can do is respect that and support him the best way you know how. If it’s distance he wants, then it’s what you’ll give. You suppose it’s the most you could do for him after making the decision to walk away.

Sitting in the meeting room the next day with the management support team chatting around you is a little unnerving. You try to engage with them and put on a smile that doesn’t feel real. The nervousness and guilt slowly creep in, especially when Jungkook arrives and orders for the meeting to begin.

“Before we start, I’d just like to make an important announcement,” he says, quieting everyone down as he sounds serious. “Ms. Cho has tendered her resignation and will be leaving the company in a month. I wanted to tell the team immediately so we could all work on the necessary adjustments. Lucas, my assistant during my time in Singapore, will be replacing her. I made this decision with the approval of the CEO to ensure a smooth transition. His first day will be on Thursday.”

In the silence, you look up, afraid of how the team is taking it. Manager Lee and Chin-sun have a mix of sadness and acceptance on their faces. Yohan has his head bowed down. And Do-hyun sits there, silently crying.

“Do you… do you not like us anymore?” She mumbles through her sniffles.

“Of course I do,” you say, your eyes softening. “It’s not about that.”

“Then what is it?” She asks. “Why… why are you leaving us? Why are you leaving Mr. Jeon?”

“I…” you start, looking at him for approval, and he nods as if to say that you’re free to say whatever you want to say. “I’ve been here for a while. This job is all I know and the years just flew right by. I feel like a new environment and a change of pace would do me good.”

Chin-sun turns to you, her look of understanding giving you the comfort that you need. She told you once that you deserve to live a life outside of work, that you need to find yourself and what makes you happy, and that she knows what that could mean. You’ve always looked up to her and how she’s handled everything in her life with such grace, and seeing her give you that nod of encouragement tells you that she gets it, and that despite the doubt that’s slowly crept in, she’s that hand on your shoulder, saying that you’re doing the right thing.

“Do you have to go this soon?” Do-hyun asks, her voice so unusually soft that it makes you feel like crying, too.

“I had initially planned on resigning after the Arts Center launch,” you say, the words hitting Jungkook as you see the way he clenches his jaw. “But the company I’ll be moving to requested for my start to be in two months. It’s too good of an opportunity to pass up on, so I decided to leave early.”

It’s not a complete lie. You had emailed Namjoon last night and inquired if the production officer position is still open. He responded right away to say that it is, and that he’s been hoping for you to officially apply, so you did. He insisted that based on your resume and your mindset and approach to work that he’s picked up from your conversations, the role is meant to be yours. He scheduled an interview in the next two weeks during your forced leave - for formalities’ sake, he told you - and you can start next quarter.

“I’m just… I’m just really sorry that I’m leaving in the midst of all the preparations,” you add, your nails sinking in your skin once more as you try to deal with guilt. “Things just happened so fast and I had to make decisions right away.”

“We’re gonna be okay,” Chin-sun assures you now. “You and Mr. Jeon trained us well. You, especially. We’ve been working together for over four years and I may have been in this longer but I’ve learned so much from you, ___. This breaks my heart more than you know but I’m proud of you, and I’m happy for you. I can at least say on behalf of the team that we don’t want this decision to burden you. You’ve held the fort for everyone for so long, you deserve to pursue whatever makes you happy.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, feeling the words getting caught in your throat as you try to keep yourself from breaking down.

Chin-sun isn’t always this sentimental, so you know it means just as much to her that she’s able to say these things to you.

“I agree with her,” Manager Lee says. “It’s gonna be different and definitely hard but the team will manage. You’ve given this company so much, and I know that wherever you’ll go, they’ll be so lucky to have you. Just… just don’t forget about us, okay?”

“Never,” you assure the team this time.

“Remember when I was being stubborn and didn’t want to go to the hospital when I was sick?” Yohan speaks up, looking at you now with glassy eyes. “You took half the day off so you could drag me there and then visited me everyday after work when I was confined for a week. The doctor said things would’ve been worse if I’d gone there even just a day late.”

You remember that incident clearly. It was the month before Jungkook arrived. The entire team was busy preparing everything but you noticed that Yohan looked unwell, and you insisted on taking him to the hospital so he could get checked and you’re glad you did. You can’t imagine how things would’ve turned out if you hadn’t.

“I was trying hard to keep it in because I didn’t want to be a burden,” he continues. “But you noticed, you always do. And I’ll always be thankful. Chin-sun may be my wise auntie but you’re my ever dependable older sister and I’ll miss you so much. No one can calm me down the way you do, and no one will tell me and Do-hyun off when we’re being whiney or ungrateful. I just hope that whatever you do brings you all the peace and happiness you deserve.”

At his words, Do-hyun sobs. Covering her face, she mumbles onto her palms, muffling her words that you can’t understand. She briefly looks up at you, pouting as she catches her breath, and then she cries again. Even when she’s being emotional, her child-like way of showing it is every bit endearing.

You remember the first time you met her, a brilliant fresh graduate with so much passion and energy. She was a little too bubbly for you at the beginning. She was always curious and lacked filter most of the time. But you got to know her genuine heart, one that often sought you, that wanted to get your approval, that hoped you’d return the affection she always gave you. She was like that bratty little sister that you enjoyed looking after, and seeing her be affected this way is affecting you more than you expected. You can’t make out what she’s saying, but you’re pretty sure that they’d make you cry either way.

And that’s what you’re trying hard not to do, as you bite your lips to stop them from shaking, hoping you won’t break down in front of them, especially in front of Jungkook.

Chin-sun comforts Do-hyun who’s calming down a bit now. Manager Lee and Yohan wipe their eyes. It’s a little too quiet, and you know they’re waiting for you to say something, too. Wanting to return their honesty, you start, trying to find the words that would capture everything you feel.

“You all know how much of myself I give to this job,” you start, your lips trembling as you try to get it together. “And from the beginning, I thought I would just come to work, do what I have to do, go home, and do it all over again. It’s the corporate world and we’re just trying to survive. You were all supposed to be just colleagues, people I had to just tolerate but that’s clearly not what happened. Without meaning to, you’ve all become such a big part of my life, more than I can ever express.”

You glance at Jungkook, hoping that he knows it includes him, but you see him clench his jaw and look away, and at this point, you don’t expect him to believe anything else you say, no matter how much you mean them.

“I know I’ve never been good at accepting and especially returning your affection,” you continue. “I’ve missed out on a lot of post-work dinners and weekend get-togethers. I’ve just, uh, I’ve just never been good at mixing work with my personal life. But even then, you never took it against me. You keep up with all versions of me, you encourage me when things get hard, and you never fail to let me know that I’m doing a good job. And that’s done so much for me more than you know.”

You take in deep breaths as you feel your tears dance around your eyes, and you blink to let them fall then quickly wipe them away.

“We’ve gone through so much together and I’ll always treasure all those moments and everything we shared,” you manage to say. “Leaving doesn’t change anything. At least, I hope it doesn’t.”

“Not to us,” Chin-sun assures you. “You’ll always be a part of this team.”

You mirror her smile, hoping your gratitude gets across.

The clearing of throat catches everyone’s attention, and you turn to Jungkook, remembering that you’re all gathered today for a meeting, and not some sentimental goodbye that’s turned into a cry-fest. You doubt he’d want to be around for this, so you apologize and say that he can continue on with the agenda.

“It slipped my mind that I have a call with one of the artists that Mr. Saito introduced me to,” Jungkook answers, looking at his phone then turning back to the team. “It’s in 10 minutes. We can resume tomorrow morning. It’s close to lunch anyway so you can all have your break.”

The whole team nods in acknowledgement. Except for you. He doesn’t have any scheduled calls today, as he was adamant on having this meeting done as soon as possible. He would have remembered if that call was that important and if it wasn’t, you know he wouldn’t have rescheduled this because making all the arrangements for your departure seems to be his top priority.

You suspend the thought, knowing that dwelling on how much he’s distancing himself from you will take away from the moment you shared with your team. Right now, they’re who matter. Jungkook had always insisted he wasn’t part of it, and you always disagreed. But with him stepping away, maybe he’s right.

He steps out, and with him no longer in the room, Do-hyun takes the opportunity to hug you. It’s not something you always return but today, it’s everything you need, as her warmth gives you the comfort you’ve been badly craving since last Friday. All you had was your pillow and that didn’t really do much. With Do-hyun wrapping you in her arms, you’re able to breathe, and she holds you tightly as you silently cry, as if she knows just how much it means to you to have a shoulder to cry on this time.

“Yah! Don’t cry,” she says in that mocking tone to tease you when you pull away.

Everyone laughs and you shake your head in embarrassment. “I didn’t expect to cry this much.”

“Chin-sun started it,” Yohan says, earning him a nudge and a playful glare.

“I just knew it mattered that you knew that it was okay,” she says, prompting you to look at her. “We may be crying and going on about missing you and things not being the same but… what you leave behind doesn’t make your decision any less valid, or even wrong. Only you would know what doing this could do for you, and there’s absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”

You mumble your thanks again, feeling a bit of weight off your shoulders with the assurance that the team will be alright without you.

Outside, Jungkook looks on as everyone gathers around you, hugging you and wiping your tears, something he held himself back from doing.

There’s no call to be had. He’d intended for today’s meeting to be about discussing the plans moving forward, the added responsibilities that each member would have as Lucas adjusts, and how they could help in his transition. Jungkook didn’t expect for it to turn out the way it did, with each person expressing their gratitude to you, comforting you, and sharing stories that show just how much you matter to them.

This is who you are - someone loved by the people around her, despite the distance she keeps. There’s just always been this warmth about you that’s reflected in your ability to notice things, in your stubbornness, and in the way that you make every person feel cared for. It’s something he always admired about you. It’s also what he likes the most about you, and for all that you are, all that warmth and comfort that you deserve aren’t things he can give. Not when he’s trying to keep his own distance, not when he’s trying to keep himself together, and not when he’s trying not to hold you back any more than he already did.

In a way, he’s glad that the team was able to express themselves to you. He likes to think that their words at least relieved you of whatever guilt you were feeling about leaving, something he’s also unable to do. They were able to assure you that they understand and only wish for your happiness. On his end, he’s ensuring that you don’t have to worry about all the work you’ll leave behind. It’s his way of telling you that it’s okay.

Jungkook steps away when he hears you start to pack up. He walks back to his room and hears the team’s plans of grabbing lunch at the dining hall then eating it at the floor’s outdoor space. Do-hyun tells you to ask him to join everyone, and Jungkook hates that he’d have to turn the invitation down. He does so by pretending to still be on a call when you peek into his room, and at this point, he’s unable to read your face.

He can’t think that you were hoping he’d join you, as he can’t feed the illusion that you still want him after everything. He’ll just believe that it was relief he saw in your eyes and that just like him, you’re creating distance because that makes it easier for both of you.

But the truth is, it doesn’t, as an hour goes by and he spends it zoning out in the midst of sending emails and coordinating with Lucas about his move. Jungkook catches sight of you from his window, seated with your chair turned around, facing the shelves. He’d seen you do that a few times - in the midst of a busy day, or that very first time after he’d gotten mad at you. He wonders what it’s about now.

Maybe it’s your decision still weighing heavy on you, or that you still have so much to do for turnover. Whatever it is, Jungkook fights the urge to go out there and ask you, to tell you that you could take a break if it’ll help. Or to hug you if that’s what you need.

At this moment, he lets himself wish that the world would just suspend for a while and he could do all that without any consequences. He wishes you’re both in some alternative universe where you’re still you and he’s still him but without the baggage, without the secrets, without the intertwined past. He wishes he could just be with you without any of the burden nor the doubts, and you could just go on and be honest with what you both want, and feel what you feel with no reservations, and that all that would be enough.

There’s so much he wants to do for you but he can’t let himself be weak this time. You made your decision and he won’t hold you back. What he’ll do is try to make things easy for you, although the sullenness in your eyes - that he briefly sees when you turn around to face your desk - tells him that it doesn’t seem like it’s working.

But detachment is all he knows when it comes to things he can’t control. He can’t control you with the decision you made. He can't control how he’s taking it. And even after all that, he still can’t control the way he feels or the way his heart breaks seeing you like this.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

You look up from your desktop to a pair of questioning eyes, and you fumble for your tea and ask why he’s asking.

“Just curious,” Yoongi shrugs. “Jungkook’s been cross-copying Lucas in some of our emails and I don’t recall that ever happening before.”

You glance at your screen, seeing the messages that have the said man now looped in, all just today.

“Uh, yeah. Jungkook’s including him in the communications already,” you answer. “I… I tendered my resignation yesterday, Yoongi. I leave in a month.”

You knew that Yoongi would always be supportive. So many times before, he’d asked you how you imagined your life to be and what you were going to do once you thought your time in the company was over. He’d talked about his own plans, too, like opening up his own architectural firm in Daegu because that was always going to be his home. You knew that when the time came, he’d be proud of you because it would be your decision, and the look on his face right now tells you that he is.

“You finally did it,” he smiles. “How does it feel?”

“A lot of things,” you sigh, not wanting to give too much away. Not here at least. “There’s just a lot to think about. Maybe when I take one of my remaining leaves, it’ll finally sink in.”

“And how’s Jungkook taking it?”

You’re about to answer, trying to formulate in your head how you can explain how Jungkook has been. But it’s that moment when said man opens his door with papers in hand, his eyes flitting from Yoongi to you. You ask him if there’s anything he needs but he shakes his head and says he can handle it before closing the door. You stare at it for a while, hoping he’d come back out and say that he does need you to do something, but he doesn’t.

“I guess not well,” Yoongi points out, prompting you to return your gaze to him.

“He is, actually,” you counter. “He accepted my resignation with no questions asked, gave me a recommendation letter, organized everything for my replacement, told me to take my remaining leaves… he hasn’t given me more workload than I expected. He just wants me to focus on turning things over.”

“And that’s ‘taking it well’ for you?” Yoongi cocks an eyebrow.

“Well, he hates change. The last time that happened and he got shipped to Seoul but couldn’t bring his old assistant with him, he acted out. We both know how that went,” you say. “And now I’m causing another big change. We had a routine going. The Arts Center opens in less than two months. And then I decided to leave. He could be letting out his anger and frustration on me but he isn’t.”

“Hmm,” Yoongi hums.

After knowing you for 10 years, he’s come to realize that you have your ways of coping with things. So does Jungkook.

“I think I know what he’s doing,” he continues, earning him a questioning look from you. “He’s distancing himself. How else does he deal with anything that hurts or terrifies him? He’s losing you, ___. Even just from a professional standpoint, that’s a lot for him. On a personal level, even more.”

You look away, not wanting to think about the implications of Yoongi’s last statement. He picks it up, knowing that it’s probably hard for you to talk about right now.

“You may not agree, but you’re important to him,” he adds. “If you think this is easy for him, I’m telling you now that it isn’t. You know him. He’s… he’s not good at expressing how he feels. He just shuts everyone out. It’s his default. Even if the person he’s pushing away is probably the one he needs the most.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” you sigh.

You relate with Yoongi’s statement though. You pushed Jungkook away when all you wanted was to have him close. You decided to leave the company even though you hoped you could be with him. You may mean a lot to each other but it also doesn’t mean it’s enough.

“Is it really?” He questions.

When you really think about it, it shouldn’t. Jungkook likes you. You like him. For two people who are used to being on their own, finding comfort and strength in each other and then wanting that to last is simple. But how you both got here isn’t. You kept a secret from him that may have tainted his trust in you. He pursued you in a way that made you doubt his sincerity. You’re unsure how both of you could navigate all that, especially given the way you are.

Your silence prompts Yoongi to say that you don’t have to tell him anything, but that he’s there should you need anyone to talk to. He leaves, and suddenly, the silence is too loud.

The rest of the afternoon feels too long, with time ticking by so slowly. You always liked how your desk was separated from everyone else, as it gives you the peace and quiet you need to focus on your tasks. You’re also accessible to the VP, which makes everything easier and more efficient. But now, you hate it. There’s no sound but your thoughts ringing at you that you hear. And there’s no Jungkook calling for you to give you things to do.

Not speaking to him nor seeing him makes your day incomplete. You used to enjoy your shared moments, like when you’d enter his room with his cup of coffee and you’d remind him to take a break. All those times when you’d make him sign documents, with him groaning at something he’s frustrated about and then telling you what you can do after you ask if you can help him with something. Those instances where he’d look through portfolios on your shelf and do small talk with you, and those times you thought he just needed a break or a friendly smile or a hum of encouragement.

It’s only been the second day but there’s none of those now, and you don’t have anyone to blame but yourself. You let yourself be selfish for once by resigning. But you feel even more selfish by wishing he didn’t act so unaffected, that he’d still ask for you after what you’re putting him through.

You clock out at 6, initially considering letting Jungkook know but then deciding against it, knowing that his nonchalance will just cause a crack in your heart. The rest of your evening feels lonely even with your variety TV show on, so does your commute to work the next morning that you now have to get used to. It didn’t feel right to still have Mr. Ri drive for you, even though he messaged and insisted that he still could.

It’s Wednesday, and there’s something about the middle of the week that makes you feel uneasy - the week is halfway done; it feels like it flew by but it also can’t end fast enough. There are documents on your desk for review and some emails that you need to get to, but Mrs. Myung calling to say that CEO Jeon wants to see you is what does your head in. You suppose he’d want to speak with you at one point; you just weren’t prepared for it to be today.

The CEO’s office is like a personal museum, with photos and blueprints framed on the walls and miniature replicas of some of the company’s earliest infrastructure being displayed in the large room. The view of the city is stunning from all angles, and you can only imagine how much creativity it inspires. You’re still unsure how he thinks about you, but you bow shyly once he greets you and you take your seat when he asks you to.

“Jungkook said he’ll be announcing your resignation today,” the man says. “It seems that he has everything organized already and ready for your departure.”

“He has, Mr. Jeon,” you confirm. “I feel quite bad that I’m not helping him with the arrangements. He, uh, he seems to have wanted to handle all of it all on his own.”

“Well, he’s pressed for time. He had to make quick decisions with the Arts Center opening in a few weeks.”

“I… I apologize for leaving at such a critical time,” you say, bowing your head in shame once more. “I—”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he shakes his head. “You made a decision that was best for you. I guess I was just in denial that you’d do it so soon, or at least before the Center is revealed. You’ve worked hard on that, too. I’m sure it’s difficult for you to let that go as well.”

You look up and see the gentleness in his eyes, the same ones that looked at you the first time you met him - in this room, over 20 years ago. He was a stranger to you, but he was kind. There wasn’t much you remember from that day nor that period, but you’ll always remember the soft way he greeted you and introduced himself.

You look back at the years after that. He didn’t reach out much but you still felt him looking out for you and your mom. When you entered the company as an intern, he had that look of recognition, and then of pride.

Working here all these years, you’ve seen him be the critical, perfectionist, and passionate man that he is. People stopped what they were doing when he entered the room, they listened when he spoke, he commanded fear and respect, but you’ve seen his moments of tenderness and empathy, too. This is a man who commits himself to everything he does, something his son took after him. It’s probably why with his years of experience, he knows that for you, walking away from the project you poured your soul into is just as hard.

“It’s a sad parting, I would say. But I know it will turn out just as beautiful as your son had hoped. He really put his everything into that and I’m glad I got to see it almost completed,” you say, having visited the site not long ago. “Though I’ll no longer be here when the rest of the world sees it, I know it’ll give him that satisfaction and pride that he managed to bring to life all that he envisioned.”

“I don’t know about satisfaction and pride if you’re not around,” Mr. Jeon hums. “You’re leaving a big hole in his life, ___. And I don’t mean that just professionally.”

You turn away, unsure if you’re ready to address your feelings for Jungkook in front of his father.

“Looking back now, I was being selfish to you all these years,” he continues. “You had a hard time when you first started and that all happened under my watch. I encouraged you to apply for that EA position because I knew that Hoseok would choose you by your own merit, and he would treat you well. He would train and mentor you and I selfishly hoped that my family would be redeemed in your eyes. And Jungkook… he… he reminded me of myself when I was younger. And you had the spirit of your mother,” he adds, his eyes softening at the mention of her. “You had her heart and I hoped… I hoped that whatever gentleness you’d show my son would allow him to heal a little. It was unfair of me to give you that responsibility, especially given how he treated you at the beginning. I’m so sorry, ___. I feel like I was holding you back and I never intended that.”

“Please don’t apologize, Mr. Jeon,” you insist, your eyes blurring a little with his honesty. “I still made the decision to stay every time. Even when it was hard. I… I wanted to show my gratitude to your family for what you’ve done for us. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pay you back.”

“None of that,” he shakes his head. “It wasn’t just about absolving myself of the guilt for what your mom had to go through because of me, which was bad enough in the first place. But I… I knew it was the only way I could thank her, that I could apologize. If there was a way I could help both of you rebuild your lives, I would.”

“And you did,” you assure him. “We were safe. We made good memories in Busan. We now have a good home back in Daegu. I got to study and build myself and experience all these things. And I… I got to meet your son. And I got to see his heart. And I’ll always keep that with me, regardless of how things turned out.”

“Does this mean that you and him aren’t… uh—”

“It was unprofessional to cross the line, Mr. Jeon,” you bow your head. “I’m so sorry that happened.”

“I’m not angry. I guess I should’ve expected it. I’d accept my wife calling me a matchmaker if only it was true,” he laughs dryly. “Jungkook cares about you. And I know that you care about him. You’ve resigned now. You’re… you’re free.”

“I didn’t decide to leave so I could be with him, sir. I mean, that wasn’t the primary intention,” you try to explain. “I… I always knew I would, but doing this soon is because I’m unsure how to continue with my role given what happened. I hope I’ve clarified that.”

“Is this it, then? Is this goodbye for you and him?”

“I… I still hope I’ll see him one day, perhaps when we’ve forgiven each other, when we’ve come to understand the decisions that we made, and once we’ve come to terms with them,” you say. “I’m unsure when that would be. But I hope I’ll have the chance to congratulate him and to tell him I’m happy for him.”

“Goodbyes aren’t always for good,” Mr. Jeon says. “I’d like to believe that we cross paths with people for a reason, that we lose them for a reason, and that we find them again for a reason.”

“That’s not such a bad thought,” you smile. “I suppose that every person I lost for good was for a reason. If I find my way back to Jungkook… it should be for a good reason, too.”

“Of course. And I also mean that for us,” he smiles back. “Please don’t become a stranger. You mean a lot to our family, ___. How your mother helped me and how you helped our son will not be forgotten. Thank you.”

“Likewise, sir. You and Mrs. Jeon have helped us so much. Even Mr. Ri. I… I owe a lot to him as well.”

“You should already know he has a soft spot for you. That man treats you like family.”

You smile to yourself, thinking of how Mr. Ri has looked out for you all these years. He sacrificed a lot, too, and that feeling of safety that he gave you and your mother changed everything for you, even if it took everything from him. But he never wavered, as he made sure to visit you regularly when you were growing up. You suppose he had to hold back once you started working for the company and especially for Jungkook, given the secret you both kept, but Mr. Ri has been showing that same care to you now that the truth is out.

“Did… did you know about him and my mom?” You wonder.

“I did,” Mr. Jeon nods. “It was hard not to. Byung-hun was always serious and expressionless but his eyes always softened whenever she was around. She’s why he even smiled. But… decisions had to be made. I’ll always be sorry for what could’ve been.”

“It’s a love that lives on, though,” you say. “He’s been such a big help to me these past few days.”

��That’s good. You can always count on him. He’ll do anything for you, you should know that. It’s how he keeps their memories alive.”

It’s a nice thought, as you let the older man’s words settle. Love may not always be returned but the beauty is in how it’s expressed, in that it’s received regardless, and that it’s remembered.

You didn’t expect for the talk with CEO Jeon to be as emotional and uplifting as it was. You suppose that all these years, you both were just trying to make it up to each other, to compensate for something that was given and for something that was taken away. Maybe he needed this closure, too, for him to know that you’ve always forgiven him, and that after everything, you’re grateful for what his family has done for you.

Letting out a sigh of relief that at least he’s not angry at you, you return to your tasks. You organize some documents then enter Jungkook’s room to request his signature, immediately spotting some of those he’d already signed from yesterday.

You avoid his eyes again, and you only hope he doesn’t see the sadness in yours when you hear the conversation he’s currently having.

“Is the apartment okay?” He says on the phone.

It’s Lucas, you assume. He’s scheduled to arrive today and is probably settling down first.

“Yeah, just take your time. But don’t forget to be at my penthouse tomorrow,” Jungkook continues. “Ms. Cho will be there to brief you. I’ll see you at 7:00.”

He puts the phone down and retrieves the folder with all the files you set on his desk while you review the ones he just signed. Moments like this used to be spent on friendly banter or some questions on his end, but there’s none of that now. There’s just the sound of the pen gliding on the sheet and the flipping of pages filling the tense-filled air in the room. He hands you back the folder and you’re forced to look at him to say your thanks.

“Please be at my apartment tomorrow at 7. Mr. Ri can take you there, I’m sure he’ll insist,” Jungkook says.

“Yes. Mr. Jeon,” you reply, your eyes focused on his desk.

“And prepare the conference room for the postponed team meeting. We start in 15 minutes.”

You confirm his instructions and quickly head out. You gather everyone - and receive another hug from Do-hyun that you hadn’t realized you’ve been needing so much - then proceed to the room as instructed.

Emotions are managed this time, with no more tearful goodbyes and sentimental speeches unlike the day before. Jungkook gets straight to the point by laying out the plans for Lucas’ onboarding and the division of tasks for the Arts Center opening. You’re primarily assigned to handle the former, as you’ll be turning over all of your responsibilities to him, including all documents, schedules, and contacts. Your facilitative role for the major project is divided between the rest of the team, and as you add the growing list of deliverables and other things you’re in charge of, you’re reminded just how hard you’ve been working for this, too.

CEO Jeon was right. You’re not just walking away from your job; you’re walking away from something that you’ve started to believe in and be passionate about yourself. In a way, Jungkook gave that to you, and you’ll always be grateful that he let you be a part of it.

The melancholic feeling stays with you for the rest of the day. You find yourself lingering on people and things and moments, as if capturing them so you can keep them in your memory.

You do that, too, during lunchtime with the team as you laugh at the stories and incidents you recall that only all of you know. You do it while replying to the dozens of messages you receive after the announcement, with some of the other assistants calling you and expressing their sadness. You do it as well when you email Jungkook another memo he has asked you to draft. And then again when you peek through the window while he’s busy working on perhaps some other design, the image of him focused being etched in your mind until you sleep that night.

You have to let go, you tell yourself; that was the point of resigning. You’re free, like what CEO Jeon said. While you never likened being in this company to a prison, there’s something liberating about stepping back from what you’ve known for years and realizing that you enjoyed it, too, that it gave you a certain kind of happiness and satisfaction, and a special feeling that only you could have.

Jungkook was someone who gave you all that as well, even if it was all fleeting. But then again, you don’t think anything really is. The things and people and emotions and moments you encounter all stay with you in one way or another. For that instance, you had them and they had you. Perhaps that’s the beauty of it - they may not stay but they will always linger.

You enter the car the next morning with the scent of freshly baked pastry. Your eyes light up when you see the iced coffee, prompting Mr. Ri to let out a soft laugh and say that he picked them up on the way for you.

“Jungkook’s got a packed day so I doubt he’d have time for breakfast and I assumed that meant you, too,” he adds.

“Not really,” you sigh. “He’s keeping me to just turnover duties for my last weeks here. I doubt I’d be that busy. But breakfast is good. I woke up late so I managed to only grab some fruits.”

“I think he just doesn’t want you to be stressed. Saying goodbye is hard enough.”

“I suppose… I guess I just hoped things would slow down a bit. But then again, I’m the one who abruptly resigned,” you say. “No one was afforded time to process things, including me.”

“It will sink in soon enough,” he hums. “Especially once you see how things change.”

“They have,” you whisper, the sullenness in your eyes letting the other man know just how much. “And I have no right to wish they didn’t, at least not this fast.”

“Oh, ___,” Mr. Ri turns to you with a sad smile. You can’t imagine him being the cold and stoic man that CEO Jeon had described, one who only softened when your mother was around. “You do. Standing by our decisions means that we accept whatever the consequences are, not that we can’t wish they were different. I’m pretty sure Jungkook feels that way, too. He’s dealing with you leaving, but it doesn’t mean he wishes you had to. And maybe… deep in your heart, you wished that not staying in the company didn’t have to mean not being with him.”

It’s a thought you’ve had for a long time, but one you don’t want to acknowledge. There’s a lot of things you’re still scared to face, including just how much you want him. You’re afraid to break, to want to take it all back, and to realize just how much you’re losing by letting all this go.

And like the family he’s come to be, Mr. Ri reminds you that this pain you’re feeling is part of the process of finding the happiness you’ve been yearning for.

“Sometimes we have to lose things for something so much better,” he comforts. “‘Better’ could be a person or a state of mind. In your case, I think it’s discovering that kind of strength you didn’t know you had; it’s that freedom that you wouldn’t have otherwise felt even if you got together with Jungkook. For as long as you’re in the company, you’ll always feel burdened and that something’s missing at the same time. You always needed this. And I should’ve encouraged you to be braver a long time ago.”

“Then I wouldn’t have met him,” you say immediately, the thought breaking you, even if you tried to convince yourself it was better that you didn’t. “He and I have pasts that intertwine and if we never met then there… there would be nothing of him I’d carry, there’d be no trace of him in me.”

But you did meet. And now there’s Jungkook in you - in your bravery, in your strength, in your silence. He’s in your appreciation for art and design and love for disposable cameras and capturing good memories. You carry him with you, and the thought makes things hurt a little less. Maybe all that is why you got the courage to walk away in the first place. Maybe those could push you to find him again, too.

You’re deep in your head that you don’t realize you’re already at Jungkook’s building until Mr. Ri is calling your name. You exit, and right at the entrance, you see a well-dressed man with a bright yellow helmet on one hand and a scooter on the other, his smile brightening his whole face as he greets you. He’s Lucas, he says, and you’d almost forgotten the purpose of why you’re back here after almost a week.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ms. Cho. Although I wish it were for happier reasons,” he says, his face softening.

“It’s happy enough,” you smile. “You’re living abroad like you said you wanted to, and this is career advancement for you. They’re all good things.”

“I suppose so. Although I didn’t really get to prepare myself much. I’m quite nervous, if I’m being honest.”

You pass over your access cards to him and let him go through the building’s security process. It’s another way you’re letting go of Jungkook, you think, and there’s more of that melancholic feeling, as memories of all your mornings here fly through your mind.

“You’ve been with Mr. Jeon longer than I have, Lucas. You know how he works,” you tell him. “Sure, there are added responsibilities as the Vice President’s EA but you’ll learn them through experience. You have the skills good enough to be his assistant in the first place. And he’s… he’s good at what he does. He’s good to people. Those should make things easier for you.”

“Hmm that’s true,” he replies, as you both head towards the elevator. “He seems a lot calmer than I’m used to. And more poised. And— I don’t know if I can say this but, more considerate, I suppose. He made sure everything was organized for my move. He checked on me when I arrived. He even got me a scooter because my old one was a bit rusty already.”

You smile to yourself. They’re simple things, and it makes you think that maybe Jungkook used to not show much care to his staff. Lucas doesn’t seem to hold resentment of any kind, so you suppose Jungkook just gave or did the bare minimum. If your relationship with him somehow influenced this kinder and perhaps softer version of him, then meeting you wasn’t so bad for him either.

Lucas rambles a little as he talks about being anxious working with all the bosses, and you wish there was a way that you could ease his worries. You understand it. You were in his shoes once, and you hope that your mentorship of him during this turnover period will be enough.

“All that to say that I have large shoes to fill,” he adds. “And I just don’t want to disappoint him.”

“And you won’t,” you assure the younger man as you reach Jungkook’s floor. “You’re gonna be fine and the team is gonna support you. So will he, so you just do what you can and things will fall into place.”

Lucas sighs in relief and smiles. It’s the most you can do for now and you hope at least for today, it’s enough.

You enter Jungkook’s apartment and a feeling of sadness rushes through you. Everything looks the same and it’s much too quiet than you’re used to.

You tell Lucas what you normally do and he says that Jungkook’s doing away with breakfast.

“He knows I fast so we never really had meals in the morning,” Lucas says. “But it’s nice you got to prepare them for him. He was always too busy and didn’t realize he hadn't had anything to eat until past lunch time.”

You nod, realizing that you probably created that routine you both had. Jungkook used to just always go straight to business but at least with you, he was able to slow down a little and enjoy a meal. You’d come to like those moments, you smile to yourself. He felt a little more human to you then.

You go through Jungkook’s usual schedule and give Lucas a list of numbers to call, like his house cleaner and cook. There are other routines you share, and the young man starts to take note, as some of them are new due to Jungkook’s role.

It’s not long after when the man himself shows up, walking into the kitchen donned in a dark blue suit. You reflexively take a step forward, ready to fix his crooked tie, but then you realize that this is one routine you’ve stopped doing for a while, so you put your hand down and bow to him in greeting.

Jungkook just nods at you and then asks Lucas how the move was and if everything’s okay. The young man answers accordingly, with just enough information to not prolong the conversation.

“It’s gonna be a hectic couple of weeks so it’s good you’ve settled in,” Jungkook says. “Have you gone through the building’s security process? Do you have access to my apartment now?”

“Yes, sir. Ms. Cho has briefed me about all of that,” Lucas says.

“Good,” Jungkook nods. “I’ll just grab my things and we can go. We’ll run through yesterday’s meeting and my schedule for the remainder of the week in the car.”

He walks towards his study to get his bag while you and Lucas stay behind.

“Aren’t you gonna fix his tie?” You whisper to the man next to you.

“Why, what’s wrong with it?” Lucas asks, turning to Jungkook and looks intently at his outfit.

“The knot is slightly to the right,” you point out.

Lucas takes a few seconds to answer before he nods in agreement. “I don’t really fix it but I could tell him.”

You’re all in the elevator and with Lucas looking a bit antsy, Jungkook asks him what’s wrong.

“Your… your tie is slightly to the right, sir,” Lucas says.

It prompts Jungkook to face the mirror, adjusting it himself numerous times until he figures it out. Turning around, with his eyes flitting to you, he asks, “is this alright?”

You nod, feeling the distance once again.

Jungkook used to look at you in a way that always seemed to be more during this shared moment, with words and feelings unsaid, and you realize that so did you. It’s such a simple thing - fixing his suit, but it’s seconds where it’s all quiet and it’s just your breaths sharing space, your glances meeting, maybe your hearts beating a little too fast, a little too loud.

But there’s none of that now. There’s just distance and it’ll get farther as time passes by, especially once all three of you make it to the car and you know, next to him is no longer the place you should be. You take the passenger seat, feeling unfamiliar when you hear his voice right behind you.

Jungkook goes on about Lucas’ new role to include preparing his clothes for the week, which means styling him accordingly. It’s a task the younger man says makes him nervous, but Jungkook assures him.

“Just make sure the clothes match and that I don’t look ridiculous. And that, uh, my tie isn’t crooked.”

Lucas chuckles and says he’s up for the challenge before the conversation switches to the meetings today and tomorrow. Jungkook asks you questions and you fill in some other details. You’re not as on top of his schedule as you used to be, and he instructs that for the meetings after the turnover to Lucas, you’ll no longer be required to attend. You have leaves to take, Jungkook reminds you, and given that you’re set to start work elsewhere soon, having some time off would be good.

“All noted, sir,” you say, and despite how you feel, you also agree.

You arrive at the office and Lucas is promptly introduced to the team. He’s received well, as he’s able to match the young ones’ energy and you see the respect he has for the rest, including you. You already know he’s going to do well, and you make a mental note to tell Bitna and Mrs. Myung to look after him as well, the same thing you told Mr. Ri to do.

While Lucas fixes his documents with HR, you decide to bring Jungkook a cup of coffee and some biscuits, unsure if he’s had any breakfast yet. He promptly looks up from his desk when you enter, nodding in acknowledgement when you place them on his desk.

“Lucas is a fast learner and he’s good with people,” Jungkook says, surprising you, as you hadn’t expected him to start a conversation. “He just needs to work on being a leader and holding the team together. You’re… you’re very good at that. I know it’s a short time but I hope it’s something you could teach him.”

It takes a while for you to respond. Even if his tone is not the soft one you’ve gotten used to, his words still hold warmth in them - towards Lucas. And towards you.

“I… I will, sir. And if it means anything, I think he’ll do well. He’s got good people looking out for him, including you.”

You want to return his kind words, but you also want to remind him that despite how you both started, he stood by your side and guided you. And that helped you be even more confident and capable in what you do. You hope it’s something you’re able to tell him, in a more truthful and vulnerable way he deserves, but there’s no place for that now. Yet the way he nods tells you that maybe he knows, and as you hold his gaze for a little longer than usual, you hope you’re also able to say a bit more.

That you miss your mornings together. That days don’t feel the same without his soft laughter. That you’ve almost forgotten how his smile looks like. That there’s so much of him you want to keep even though you shouldn’t. That you hope he wishes, just like you, that you’d find your way back to him someday even if right now, you have to do this.

The knock on the door signals that your shared moment has passed and you’re unsure if any of that reached him. Maybe not, as he turns away and just nods.

Lucas enters, and you remind him of that building tour you said you’d give. He’s been to the office three times but only in the conference hall, so you decide to take him around before that meeting with the design department in an hour. Do-hyun will cover for both of you while you’re away, so Jungkook tells you to advise her that he won’t be taking any calls or visitors in the meantime.

You nod, and Jungkook watches you walk out the door as he keeps himself steady like always, holding himself back from wanting you to stay a little longer, from asking how you’re doing, from taking you in his arms like he’s been wanting to do for days.

It’s hard having to act like it doesn’t affect him, like it doesn’t break his heart seeing the sadness in your eyes with how he’s taking your departure. While that overheard conversation told him that you planned on leaving, he wasn’t ready for you to do it so soon. Perhaps he should’ve expected it - you both kissed and he went ahead and said the words he’d never said before, and that’s what caused you to push him away and decide that you didn’t want anything to do with him despite how you feel.

He doesn’t know if you ever planned on telling him the truth about who you are. He doesn’t know what your plans have always been and what they are now. He doesn’t know what you’re feeling and how you’re dealing with all these goodbyes. He supposes if he’d asked first, maybe things would have turned out differently, and you wouldn’t be leaving this way. Maybe he wouldn’t be hating himself for detaching so quickly and so certainly, as if he isn’t missing everything about you, as if he isn’t wishing that he could just hold you in his arms and have you stay there.

It took everything in him not to fall apart when he saw your resignation letter. You’d been so certain and after what he learned, he didn’t want to hold you back anymore. He hoped you’d at least want to talk about what you felt, or perhaps assure him that leaving the company doesn’t mean leaving him for good. He kissed you and you kissed him back. And he can’t wrap his head around how you could do that and then so easily decide that being with him isn’t what you want.

It’s all too much, and the only thing he knows he could do for you is make the departure less difficult by making sure that you have nothing to worry about what you’re leaving behind. He made the executive decision to get Lucas, and it wasn’t hard getting his father’s approval this time around. Jungkook organized the whole move and all other turnover matters so that you wouldn’t be bothered by them. He recommended that you take your remaining leaves so you’d get some rest before you move on to your next job, wherever that is. He didn’t want you to be burdened by the extra tasks you have to do for him, including going to his apartment every morning.

But disengaging with you, distancing himself… those are for his benefit. And for you, too, as he doesn’t want to linger and then be foolish by asking you to reconsider, or telling you that he still wants you, that he meant everything he said about what he feels, and that he wishes you’d assure him of your sincerity and tell him you want him just as much. Acting unaffected is the only way that he can maintain that sense of control, the one he lost when he decided to be honest with you and give in to his desires.

He knows it’s not ideal but he doesn’t know how else to give you the freedom you deserve while wanting you next to him. A part of him holds onto the hope that you want that, too - to unburden yourself while being with him. He’d seen the sadness in your eyes these past days and he wants to think it’s because of the distance he’s creating, or because you miss him, too. He’s noticed your glances and lingering looks, he’d seen you stop yourself from fixing his tie this morning, and there’s a softness in your voice that’s different from how it usually is.

But much as he has a lot to say, he also doesn’t know how to. He’s afraid that if he tries, you’ll push him away again, maybe further this time that he won’t know how to get you back. He’s afraid that you’ll look at him differently, that you’d think he doesn’t care about what you want, or that you’ll realize that it’s just not going to work. He doesn’t like what’s happening but he doesn’t think he’s ready for what would happen if he does anything else.

So he stays where he is, close enough to see you, but not enough to feel your presence. Every second that he’s without you, he feels himself slipping away. He wants to give in but he knows he can’t, so he decides to do the only thing he knows - pull back, distance himself, disengage.

He tells himself to just focus on the tasks at hand, that there are a lot more things that require his full attention, and it helps somehow. He presides over the meetings with the design team and then with marketing with few distractions. He sees you from his periphery taking minutes just as Lucas does, but Jungkook doesn’t comment on it. He just goes from one meeting to the next, one call to another one, and one email to a dozen more.

The day is almost over before he knows it, as the knock on the door pulls him away from the budget report he’s reviewing. It’s a little disorienting seeing Lucas once it opens. That used to be you - asking if there’s anything else he needs before you head home. And Jungkook would often take a while to answer just to keep you a little longer before letting you go, even if he’s assured that he’ll see you again in the morning - in his kitchen preparing him a meal, the start of a routine that’s become the best part of his day.

But it’s not you standing by his doorway now. And it won’t be you who’ll be in his penthouse in the morning. You won’t be asking if he got to rest well. You won’t be standing close to him as you fix his outfit, your eyes focused on the creases of his top while his eyes are focused on you. You won’t surprise him with fried rice or fancy-looking eggs on toast while you sneak glances at him to see if he enjoyed it, which he always does. You won’t be there to tease or bicker with him, and he won’t see your warm smile whenever he laughs or teases back.

He doesn’t know how he survived the week without all of that. He knows he’ll have to learn how to get through everyday with that big, empty space you’re leaving. And he’s terrified that he’ll get used to it; the last thing he wants is to forget how it felt when you were still around.

“Mr. Jeon?” Lucas calls out again, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts. “I’m heading home. What time did you want me to be at your penthouse tomorrow morning?”

It’s silly but Jungkook feels protective of his mornings with you. If he’ll no longer have it, then he’ll just live in the memory by himself. So he tells Lucas to be at his place at 7:30 AM, right before they leave.

“Understood, sir. I’ll see you then.”

Jungkook bids him goodbye and returns to his task, but he’s too distracted by the silence so he decides to go home. He enters the car, feeling the tiredness weigh his body down - not only does he stay up to work, he also wakes up early to do his workout. It’s only been a week but it’s catching up to him, and the deep sigh he releases catches Mr. Ri’s attention.

“You should get proper rest,” the older man advises. “You’re gonna get sick at the rate you’re going.”

“I’m fine,” Jungkook huffs. “I’ll rest when I’m dead.”

“I should ask ___ to tell you to slow down. She knows how to make you listen, doesn’t she?”

“That’s not necessary,” Jungkook sighs, even if he knows it’s the truth.

You had a calming way of telling him to take a pause, and he always listened because it’s you.

“Then you better listen to me,” Mr. Ri says, eyeing him from the rearview mirror. “You need to be at your best these next few weeks and you won’t be if you push yourself too hard. You have a team that has your back. It’s all going to work out.”

“That’s exactly what she would say,” Jungkook shakes his head, suddenly hearing your voice in his head.

“I know. And I bet you that she’d say it even more if she sees how you are now. You need to rest, Jungkook. I mean it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says in submission, deciding that he’ll just buy food on the way home and then call it a night. But the mention of your name has his mind going to you again. “Did… did she eat breakfast?” Jungkook asks.

“She did, and she liked it,” Mr. Ri responds. “You know, she still would’ve eaten it even if I said that you asked me to get those pastries for her. It wouldn’t have made a difference.”

“It would have. She’ll know it was from me.”

“And? Just because she’s leaving, it doesn’t mean you have to stop showing her that you care. And it doesn’t mean that she stopped caring, either.”

At Jungkook’s silence, the older man continues.

“Why do you do that? Why hide behind your pain? Why make excuses for what you feel about her? You think it’s easier that way?” he presses. “You think it helps you and her when you act like it doesn’t affect you?”

“She pushed me away, okay? What do you expect me to feel?”

“But she still cares about you, at least acknowledge that.”

“But I want her to want me,” Jungkook raises his voice, surprising himself with the burst of emotion he didn’t expect. “I don’t just want her to care. I… I want her to be with me. But she has a life to live beyond all this, and I don’t think she wants me to be a part of that.”

Mr. Ri turns to Jungkook with sad eyes, unable to say anything else. He doesn’t know what kind of comfort the younger man needs. It starts and ends with you, it seems, and perhaps that’s expected. After Jungkook’s breakup with Chaerin, he kept his heart guarded and didn’t bother to let anyone have a peek. All encounters were shallow, all attempts at getting him to share himself were futile. Until you. And now that he’s shared a little bit of himself, with you turning away from it, he feels exposed and bare, and he has to build his walls back up again.

Mr. Ri gets to witness it this time, and his heart breaks for the younger man, too. Having heard both sides, he knows that Jungkook respects your decision and wants to be with you. Those can coexist. He also knows that you want to be free from the ties that bind you to this family and want to be with him. Those can coexist as well. But he knows, more than anyone, that you’ll both have to make a decision, and you’ll both have to learn to do that.

“I can’t tell you what to do, Jungkook. And I can’t tell her, either,” the older man sighs. “You’ll have to figure things out on your own and decide what you want to do because that’s the only way you’ll get to stand by your choices.”

It’s a piece of advice that Jungkook should follow, even if all he wants is for someone to tell him what to do. But perhaps that’s also hard if he can’t make sense of everything that he feels. And it’s both of you suffering at the end of it.

He stays quiet for the rest of the ride, wanting to just shut out his thoughts even if there are hundreds of them swimming in his mind. When Mr. Ri asks him where he wants to grab his dinner, Jungkook can’t decide and ends up going to a convenience store instead. He sighs to himself as he realizes the memories that’ll come up by being here; he wants to escape thoughts of you, but he still ends up thinking about you whatever he does, as if his mind and body gravitate towards you without realizing it.

He buys instant noodles and some snacks. He munches on choco pie during the ride back to his penthouse and remembers the way you smiled when you ate it that night when he stayed with you. It’s an image he keeps until he falls asleep, and there’s that empty feeling again when he wakes up in the morning.

Lucas arrives that Friday as instructed and they leave for the office right away. They talk about the Arts Center and the schedule for the day, and they arrive at the building at the same time that you do.

It’s a little tense sharing the elevator with you this time, especially as he formally greets you as if he wasn’t torturing himself with the thought of you all night. But you smile and act cordial, choosing to let the silence engulf all three of you and just deal with it.

There are virtual meetings he has to attend, and Jungkook multitasks while reviewing some reports that are on his desk. There are some things he knows he needs to sign, so he calls your phone and asks them where they are.

You walk inside his room with a folder of documents and promotional materials for his approval, setting them on his desk and explaining that Lucas was going to bring them in after he was done speaking with HR.

You watch as Jungkook, with scrunched eyebrows, goes through each sheet of paper. There’s so much tension on his face and his entire body, and you wonder if he’s been resting properly. Perhaps not, as you see the dark circles under his eyes.

“You don’t have to wait for Lucas to give these to me,” Jungkook says. “You still have that responsibility. You’re still my assistant.”

There’s no anger in his voice but you can’t help but feel defensive. He’s instructed you to focus on turning over files and functions, after all.

“Am I?” You find the courage to question him. “You’ve made yourself perfectly clear on what I’m only here for.”

Jungkook is taken aback by your words, not expecting you to say them with a mix of sadness and bitterness. But he answers back, unable to control himself this time.

“And you’ve made yourself perfectly clear on what you want. And what you don’t want,” he says, more bitterly than he intended.

Your face falls, and he hates himself for making you feel like this, so he backtracks.

“I’m just… trying to make things easier for you,” he reasons, glancing at you before returning his gaze to the papers. “There are lots of things to turn over and I prefer that you just focus on them. I need Lucas to know what to do because you always did, and that’s a big loss for the team. It’s not my intention to undermine you or… make you feel like I’m replacing you. I know I won’t be able to,” he says boldly. “You’re leaving and I’m just trying to deal with it the best way I know how.”

You look at him and see the mix of frustration and sadness on his face. This is all on you, and you hate that you don’t know what to do about it. So you accept his words in submission.

“I understand, sir,” you say, almost like a whisper. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

You bow then head out, leaving Jungkook rooted in his seat like always, knowing that a second more and he would’ve called you back, even if he doesn’t know what he’d say, just so he could be around you a few seconds longer.

But he lets you go. Whatever he wants to say won’t make it out anyway.

Jungkook gets through the rest of the day constantly distracted, always half-hoping it’s you when there’s a knock on the door, or glancing at your direction from his seat, expecting you’d be meeting his eyes. But it’s never you on the other side and you don’t look his way, and before he knows it, Lucas is saying goodbye and then Hoseok is calling to tell him to go home already.

Jungkook tries, though. He finishes half a bottle of whiskey and then sleeps through mid-morning. He doesn’t really know what to do with the time he has and he hates that he has so much of it.

For the first time, he forces himself not to think about the Arts Center, so he decides to sketch some designs for the various residential projects he has in the pipeline. Some are still in their early stages but that Scandinavian-inspired building that he’s been visiting various properties for is still being conceptualized. He doesn’t want to rush, believing that the right design will come, and he hopes that by going through the photos from his trip with Hoseok and A-yeong to Europe last year, he’ll have that extra nudge or perhaps, a burst of inspiration.

The buildings are intricate and majestic, but it’s the little cafes that catch his attention, the fountains in the gardens, and the faraway shots he took of Hoseok and A-yeong as they laughed and danced about. There’s something captivating about the everyday moments, and when he clicks on the photo of the sky, he’s reminded that all those times, he was thinking of you - that clarity, the stability, the comfort. Jungkook always has a lot of things going on in his head but you’ve become that person who makes him stop and look around, who makes him see the beauty in things, who makes him want them for himself this time.

There are some images that float through his mind for the project - large windows, spacious courtyards, open living spaces, muted palettes, tree-lined streets - but with all the comfort and beauty that those bring, his thoughts still shift to you. He remembers how you looked against the mountains during the team building, how the sun made you glow even more, how you looked at peace by the stream, and all he can think about is the sadness that comes with knowing they’re all just memories - still images in his mind that haunt him of what could’ve been.

Jungkook decides to switch strategies an hour later, the emptiness of his penthouse adding to the emptiness he feels inside. Thinking that a change of scenery is what he needs, he puts on his tracks and hoodie and heads out for a run. There’s no destination in mind. He’ll just jog around town, stop if he feels like it, and then head on out again until the thought of you fades from his mind.

He knows he’s not fooling anyone; he’ll probably still be thinking about you. But at least for those hours where he’s distracted by the sounds of the cars and the people in the streets, there’s less of you in there.

It’s quite sunny out. It’s mid-afternoon and he likes the feel of the sweat in his body, the heat contrasting the occasional burst of wind. He stops by a garden, then a convenience store for a drink, then runs up a trail to get a view of the city. The sun starts to set and Jungkook takes it slow. With his hands in his pockets, he leisurely walks to a nearby neighborhood that he hasn’t been to before.

He appreciates the calmness this time and thinks that maybe spending his weekends like this every once in a while isn’t so bad. But he thinks of other ways he could spend it and with whom. Finding new restaurants to eat at and places to explore with you flash through his mind. So does watching your variety shows with you on the couch or some local film like what you enjoy doing on your own.

Jungkook doesn’t fight against it this time. He realizes that the more he resists it, the angrier he’ll be, and he doesn’t want to feel that anymore. He wasn’t mad at you, he was mad at the situation. He was mad at himself for waiting too long, for not handling things properly, for not talking to you about it… for not being honest about what he really wanted early on. He’s trying not to be selfish by letting you walk away, but maybe that’s selfish, too, if all he’s focused on is how he deals with it, without considering how it’s also affecting you.

He sighs to himself. He’s feeling so much, and this hasn’t happened in a long time. He wasn’t good at this then, and it seems that he hasn’t learned; he doesn’t know how to express what he feels even now.

The sound of children’s laughter catches his attention, and Jungkook turns to his left and finds himself outside of the neighborhood park. The playground is hidden behind large trees, and as if by some serendipitous occurrence, he walks inside and finds a bench to sit on. It’s where he stays as he watches the last remaining child leave the swing and head home.

Silence envelopes him now. He remembers his childhood - how he disliked playing in the nearby playground because he was always teased for being the shy and quiet kid, how his brother laughed along, and how his father constructed one for him so he could enjoy it for once. His brother never joined him, choosing to stay in the treehouse built for him on the other side of their property, and Jungkook liked it that way.

He would climb up the small rock wall and then slide down the slide. He’d swing himself as high as he could, giggling loudly because of the ticklish feeling in his stomach and no one would hear him. He’d look through the telescope and gaze at the stars in the evening. On some afternoons, he’d sit on the little bench and just draw cars and buildings and houses on his sketch pad, just like he’d seen his father do. Out there, he felt like he could be anyone. He could do anything and feel anything and not be afraid. No one was going to hurt him. Nothing would make him feel unwanted - not the birds, not the butterflies, not the bees that he’d watch from afar.

His old man may have always been busy but he built that playground for him without Jungkook asking him to. They were words that his father couldn’t say, apologies that he couldn’t voice out, a desire for more time that he couldn’t express or maybe even commit to, which is why they remained unspoken.

After the incident at the cabin when Jungkook felt abandoned, he stopped playing. He stopped going outside, afraid of the open air, of the possibility that the rain would come, of his father joining him in a space that used to be one where no one could disappoint him.

Time passed and the apologies were still unspoken. The emotions were kept hidden, the desire left unsaid. But they remained. Jungkook knew because his father kept that playground in its spot despite the renovations done in the estate over the years. He maintained them, too, making sure that he seals them regularly, that he repairs damages, that he paints them once the color has started to fade.

Jungkook knew this because every time he visited their home, he always spent some time there. And he saw that the playground always looked the way it did when he first saw it over 20 years ago. He was there last week, and he remembers that in the midst of his outburst, being there calmed him down.

Despite all the painful memories in between, and even if he’d outgrown it already, the safety was still there. It held memories, it felt like freedom, it held that child-like belief that he could do and be anything and he could be happy.

And as Jungkook watches the sky turn dark, the calmness overtakes him. Any playground elicits that kind of feeling, and he hears the apologies, he feels the emotions, he understands the desire.

He realizes that he’s very much like his father, just as you and Mr. Ri and Hoseok have told him. Because much as the old man is good at many things, expressing how he feels is one thing he struggles with. That’s why he builds things. He builds homes for his wife and a treehouse and playground for his sons.

And like some epiphany, Jungkook realizes that he may not be able to express what he feels, but he may be able to show you. The words may never be enough, even as they remain unsaid, but he can at least give you a space that matters to you, a place just like his playground that you could go to to feel safe, where you could be anyone, where you could do anything and feel anything and not be afraid.

It will be a place where no one can hurt you, not even him, and where you’ll always be wanted - by the characters in your picture books, and the birds and butterflies and bees that you’ll color. You may have outgrown them, but he knows that the memories of your childhood will remind you that there’s a place for you, in his heart especially.

His mind starts to race, with designs and details flashing through his mind. He rushes home and starts working, and he doesn’t leave his study until 3 in the morning. But he’s satisfied, and he spends the next day making calls and other arrangements, ensuring that the plans are set for dissemination to the team.

It’s a monumental task for the time that he has. The Arts Center opening isn’t far from now. He’ll probably earn the ire of everyone involved, including his father, but Jungkook will just have to deal with all that.

Right now, what matters is that he gets to do this to show you how he feels. He doesn’t know when you’ll see it, if you’ll decide to go when it opens in a few weeks, but he hopes that when you do, you’ll know that you made him feel something that he hasn’t in a long time, and he hopes that if he no longer gives you that feeling of comfort and safety that he’s been giving, then there’s a place that he built so you’d feel all those again.

You sit on your desk that Monday morning and try to act as if all your contrasting emotions aren’t weighing heavily on you.

Being with your friends over the weekend helped, as you took the train to meet them this time and told them everything that’s happened. You apologized for not telling them right away, but they knew that it was important for you to feel everything on your own first and try to figure it out. You said you really hadn’t - deciding to leave seemed so simple but the feelings and the truth complicated them, and now you’re left with a broken heart and the belief that Jungkook won’t forgive you, that he won’t want you anymore, that he'll just let you walk away without any closure.

Soomin and Jimin just held you and listened. They knew from the start it would be difficult. Your past wasn’t something you talked about so easily, and it took you years to even tell them your story, how you ended up in Busan and why you had to return to Daegu because it was already safe for you to go back home. There was no judgment, only support, even when you decided to enter the company and work for the people that you felt you owed your life to.

Their resentment towards Jungkook stemmed from how he treated you at the beginning; they knew that yours was the same. But they never questioned your sincerity when it came to how you felt - you’re never like this, they said. It takes a lot for you to let someone in and ties to his family isn’t enough for that. If anything, that’s what told them it was real - you would’ve tried hard to control the feelings but you still gave in, and for you to think he was worth that even for the briefest moment means he probably was.

Their perspective affirmed you in a way. This wasn’t just some silly crush on your boss, but this also wasn’t something you could just easily forget or get over. Your happiness always comes first, and it may look like a life with him in it, but it doesn’t mean he gets to be part of it right now. It’s also possible it’s one without him, and if it is, then you’re just going to have to learn to accept that.

You sigh to yourself. You’re in no better place than you were last week, but at least you have less days left in being here. But then again, that also just means the closer you are to really saying goodbye.

You go through your checklist of things to turn over and do before you leave, and while you’re halfway through, putting together event and project portfolios and documenting best practices still takes a lot of time.

You’re about to begin your first task of the day when you hear rushed footsteps. Lucas scurries over to your side to leave his things then grabs some folders.

“Hey, is everything okay?” You ask the visibly stressed man next to you.

“Uh, yeah,” he responds. “Mr. Jeon called for a meeting about the Arts Center and there are changes. He wants to add something.”

“At this stage?” You ask worriedly.

“Yeah. It seems like it’s quite a bit of work. I’m… I’m freaking out because this is a really big project and —I”

“Won’t disappoint him, I’m sure of it,” you try to comfort him. “You’ll be fine, Lucas. Just take a breath and take it one step at a time. I’ll be right here.”

You smile at him warmly, hoping that the bit of encouragement would help. The opening is a few weeks from now. At this point, focus should just be on finishing touches, finalizing government certifications, and promotion, but with how Lucas seems a bit rattled, the changes might indeed be a bit overwhelming.

He excuses himself to prepare the conference room and get the team then leaves, and as you’re about to follow him, Jungkook exits his office then stands by the hallway.

“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, prompting you to stay in your place. “There is no need for you to attend the meetings about the Arts Center.”

You’re taken aback by his statement but you recover.

“But… it’s opening in a few weeks, sir. There’s lots to do, and Lucas just said there are changes,” you counter. “If there’s anything I can do to help, you know I would.”

“I know that,” he says. “And I’m saying that there’s no need this time. The team can manage. You’ve taught them well.”

“But—”

“You’ve tendered your resignation, Ms. Cho,” he reminds you, his tone a little softer than it’s been recently. “Your remaining days here are meant for turnover and mentoring Lucas in his general functions, and not to take on added or continuing responsibilities.”

He may have a point, but it doesn’t take away from your sadness over no longer knowing how the preparations are going. You’ve become invested in the Arts Center this past year, too, and while you knew you had to let that go as well, it doesn’t mean it’s easy.

“Understood, sir,” you concede, bowing your head down in submission. “I’ll continue with my reports, then.”

He just nods, and you don’t miss the tinge of apology in his eyes. He leaves, and you’re left alone again; you think that’s how you’ve been feeling all this time.

You get on with your task, and it’s not long after when Hoseok enters, his bright smile only doing little to raise your spirits.

“Hey, ___,” he greets. “How are you holding up?”

“Just fine,” you try to smile. “Are you looking for Jungkook? He’s not here right now. He’s meeting the team about the Arts Center and if you’re wondering why I’m not there, it’s because he didn’t want me to be. First he replaces me, and then he excludes me and I just feel so… I…”

“Seems like you’re less than fine,” Hoseok says sullenly. “I’m so sorry, ___. I know this has been hard for you. For both of you.”

You know it is. But you suppose that you and Jungkook deal with difficulties differently.

“You… you understand why I had to do this, right?” You ask.

“I do,” he affirms, his eyes softening even further. “And so does Jungkook. And that’s the hard part. He doesn’t want you to go but he knows you have to do this for yourself. I guess… Your decisiveness hurt him. And with what I’m seeing now, I guess his acceptance hurt you, too.”

“I… I’m such a mess. Maybe I deserve all this,” you sigh. “How could I kiss him, push him away, leave him, want him, but can’t bring myself to be with him?”

“Because you’re human and could want things that you’re afraid of? Because it’s possible to want to find yourself while also being next to someone else yet still think it’s not enough?” Hoseok says. “It’s normal to feel all this, ___. But figuring things out also takes time. Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? Not knowing what to do now is understandable.”

“I… I only have a few weeks left here,” you say softly. “Maybe this is how he wants this all to end.”

“What about you? Is this how you want it to end?”

“I don’t know, but maybe it’s easier,” you try to convince yourself. “It’s easier to walk away when I know I’m not wanted. Maybe that’s what I made him feel, and I can’t blame him if that’s what he wants me to feel in return.”

“Oh, ___,” Hoseok shakes his head, knowing it’s not the truth. “You and Jungkook just need to talk. Then you’d know you want the same things.”

“Maybe… but we’re not good at that. And it doesn’t mean we want the same things at the same time,” you reason.

“So it’s about timing, then?”

“I guess. But we’re not good at that either,” you laugh dryly at the absurdity of it. “Look, even without all this, he already has a lot of things in his mind. The biggest project of his life is about to be unveiled soon and I… I have a life to live after this. I’m doing what I should’ve done years ago and the least I could do for myself is stand by the decision I made. I know I’d regret it if I stayed. I don’t want to regret the way I walked away.”

It’s a thought you’re slowly coming to, as you look back at how the week has been. You’ve been receiving nothing but praise and encouragement from your colleagues. You’ve been getting emails from various companies that want to recruit you after you put your resume through an online job site. There are so many possibilities now that you’ve put one foot out the door, and while you know of the possibilities you’re also leaving behind, you know deep down that you would’ve regretted it if you stayed, and you don’t want to tie that decision to Jungkook and end up resenting him for it.

The only thing that’s been keeping you down is what that decision is doing to you and Jungkook. It’s one you hope you’re able to fix, or at least mend enough that you’ll only have the good memories with you, and that so would he.

“I’m just really sorry,” Hoseok says, knowing that much as he’d like to help you and his cousin sort things out, it’s difficult when neither of you are unable to sort out your own feelings. “But I’m not just here to talk about that. I… I wanted to give you this.”

Hoseok hands you a sealed envelope and you look at him curiously.

“I know Jungkook gave you his recommendation letter, but I thought another one won’t hurt,” he smiles, letting you feel the warmth of it.

You know that companies usually just call for references, but a letter like this - especially from a well-known corporation’s top executive - gives you an advantage that others don’t have. You suppose that when you received one from Jungkook, it was a show of support. You have no doubt that with Hoseok, it’s him telling you that he’ll always have your back, wherever you may be.

“Oh, Hoseok,” you say, feeling all the emotions come at once.

It’s insane to think that almost a year ago, you were in this same spot with him encouraging and assuring you that he’ll always be around. Back then, you were anxious about being led by someone new who you knew was nothing like the man you admired. And now you’re here again, and Hoseok is giving you that same comfort that he always has, and the thought that you won’t even be in the same building as him is causing a crack in your heart. You hope one day, you’ll be able to fully express just how much his kindness has given you hope and so much to look forward to.

“Thank you,” you smile through your glassy eyes. “You… you’ve taught me so much. I hope you know that much of the confidence I have now is because of you. I’m terrified of this new journey but I’m confident that I’ll do well. You believed in me first and I’ll never forget that.”

“Being a good leader is something I learned to become because of you, ___. And because of the team. I admire you for so many things, and I’m pretty sure that wherever you choose to go, the company will be so lucky to have you.”

“I hope so,” you remark, knowing that’s another thing you have to deal with. “I… I have a few options. A few companies have reached out but there’s a publishing house that I’m leaning towards. I met the editor some time ago and that encounter just stuck with me and I feel like that kind of environment would suit me.”

“That’s great to know,” he says excitedly. “I can’t wait to hear about it. A-yeong and I will take you out to dinner once things have settled down, okay?”

“That would be great. I can’t wait for that, too.”

Hoseok bids you goodbye, leaving you alone with your thoughts for the next two hours. Whatever changes are happening with the Arts Center must be big, as it’s taking the team this long to iron things out.

It’s close to lunch time when the meeting ends. Jungkook walks in while on a call, while Lucas sits next to you looking a little stressed.

“Everything alright?” You ask.

“Yeah. There are just last minute changes but Mr. Jeon’s on top of it,” Lucas says. “He just wants us to make sure we’re on top of the other things and I’m honestly still familiarizing myself with the details of the Arts Center. I’m just nervous I’m gonna miss something.”

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for,” you assure him. “I know you were just thrust into this at such a critical time where you don’t have much leeway to adjust and that’s on me and I’m sorry. But that’s also why I’m gonna make sure that I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“Thanks, I need that,” Lucas sighs. “I can’t help but think that a year ago, I was almost supposed to be here. I mean, we can talk about it now. Mr. Jeon said he planned on taking me with him because he doesn’t want a new assistant that he has to get used to, you know? I always knew he hated change and I was the one thing that was familiar but it didn’t work out. Even I knew it wasn’t gonna happen - CEO Jeon approves these appointments and the EA of the VP needs to be familiar with the company culture and process and I wasn’t. I wasn’t really upset but I let myself think of living in Seoul for a short while and it seemed exciting. But things happen for a reason, and I think if I had to adjust then while helping Mr. Jeon with this project, I probably would’ve caved in and quit.”

Lucas turns to you with a smile. “What I mean to say is that, I admire you so much for being able to manage all this. And I know I have incredibly big shoes to fill and I think I’m more terrified about that, but I’m really thankful that you’re there to guide me, ___. Whatever tip and strategy and cheat sheet you can provide will be much appreciated.”

“Of course,” you assure him. “I’ve got spreadsheets and checklists and profiles and guidelines to turn over to you. And I’m always a call away, okay?”

He nods in gratitude, and you tell him that you both have time to sort through all those and that you’ll be finished in time for your last day. You agree on having lunch together so you could talk about the Board members and the other executives, and he says he has to see Jungkook first to get his signatures for some documents.

“Oh, can you, uh, can you give this to him, too?” You ask, passing him your leave request. It was during your time alone when you decided when to take them, knowing that you’re gonna slowly have to get used to being away from this place as well.

Lucas takes it then returns shortly after with your signed form. There’s relief in knowing you get to organize your life somehow. There are interviews to attend and a lot of your things to fix. There are feelings to make sense of, too.

And as you and Lucas talk about his move and the worry and excitement he feels, you think that you’ve got to stop thinking of goodbyes. There’s a life for you out there, and if by some way you find Jungkook in there, too, then at least you’d know you chose him, and that if he’d forgiven you then, then you’re assured that he’s chosen you, too.

You spend the entirety of Tuesday orienting Lucas about your spreadsheets and other files, and you both come up with a system that suits his style of work. Jungkook was out the whole day, and though you suppress the feeling of missing him, it’s one that haunts you until you lay in your bed that night.

You take the rest of the week off. You spend Wednesday cleaning your apartment and then having dinner with the elderly couple next door who amuse you with their love story and memories of their youth.

You meet Namjoon on Thursday for that official interview he’s been waiting for. You can’t help but envision yourself in the office with the dynamism of the teams and the laid-back feel of the entire space. You’d commit yourself right then and there if it didn’t make you look that desperate, but it’s Namjoon who encourages you to go to the other interviews you have lined up.

It’s a risk, he says; he might lose you if another more appealing company states their case. But he wants you to choose them without regrets; he wants you to choose them because you’ve seen what’s out there and decided that they’re who you want and who you see yourself being happy in. You don’t miss his slightly nervous face when you agree, but you suppose that if you’re going to do this now, might as well do it right.

You go to two other interviews that Friday, and while trying out events management was always in the back of your mind, it’s nice to see just how the job and the tasks excite you.

It’s the first time you’re feeling like you actually have options. Back then, even if there were other opportunities, you chose working for the Jeons because of a debt you felt you had to pay. You limited your own choices, but now, you feel what it’s like to take control of your own life, and it’s liberating to not have any baggage with you this time around.

Jimin and Soomin pay you a visit that weekend. They drive you around, thinking that the beauty of spring would inspire you even more. It’s fitting, they say, as you start a new phase in your life while the flowers bloom and greet you. But as you pass by a park and see the colors of the sky and buy some convenience store snacks on the way home, you can’t help but think of Jungkook.

Missing him feels a little odd. You didn’t know what it felt like until his trip at the end of last year, but you always knew he was gonna come back. This time, you’re unsure of when you’ll see him again. You spent time with him in a work environment, so being away from him and doing everyday things shouldn’t even affect you this much. But you suppose it’s the idea of what could have been that you miss, even if you don’t really know what that’s like.

You spend Monday and Tuesday the next week the same way. There’s just one executive meeting each day that you attend to assess how Lucas manages it, but other than that, you barely see Jungkook in the office. He stays in his room all morning then heads out in the afternoon, and you leave before he could even make it back. It reminds you that you truly left him at a critical time. You don’t know if he’s eating well, if he’s getting proper rest, if he’s tending a bruised knuckle or dealing with a headache. You don’t know if the stress is getting to him, if the anxiety is slowly building up, or if it’s just excitement he feels and that he can’t wait for everything to come together.

You hope for his sake, it’s the latter. You want nothing more than to assure him that things will turn out the way he wants, that the intended audience will love the Arts Center, and that he’s already achieved so much with just this. You hope he’s proud of himself the way you are, and that he knows that if there’s anything he leaves you with, it’s your own pride that you got to be part of something beautiful, and it’s that search for connection and intimacy and meaning that got you yearning for those things, too.

You take the rest of the week off again. You run errands one day, go to an interview the next, and then walk around town the day after. It feels like you’re back to that state of being alone but not feeling lonely; there’s just that added sense of freedom this time.

You’re not stressed about work. Time isn’t flying too fast. You don’t feel like you’re rushing, going from one task to another for the sake of it. You have space to think and feel. Even at such a short period of time, you’re learning what things excite you and what you want to explore. And that’s liberating, now that you’re able to pull yourself out of the routine that contained you for years, one that made you believe it was all you had and all you deserved. You think that this isn't so bad, and the constant sadness you feel slowly fades away as the days pass.

But then you return to work on Monday - your final week - and the illusion breaks.

Lucas has to meet with the marketing department, so he asks you to prepare Jungkook’s coffee in the morning. You feel quite sentimental doing it, as you know that there probably won’t be a next time.

You knock on the door, and when he asks you to come in, you suddenly feel anxious. You place the cup on his desk, making sure you put the biscuits like you always do.

Jungkook senses when you step back, lingering like you’ve been doing the few times you’ve done it. You used to do it because you expected he’d have something to ask you whenever you entered his room. But recently, he feels it’s you just waiting - for him to say something, perhaps, or for you to find the courage to speak up.

But you never do. And he never says what he really wants to.

“It’s your last week, Ms. Cho,” he states, focusing on his iPad screen so as not to torture himself with the sight of you. “How’s your clearance going?”

“Uh, it is, Mr. Jeon,” you reply. “Finance and HR have cleared me. IT and security will clear me on my last day. And I’ll submit to you my final deliverables on Wednesday. You can sign off my form then.”

He nods, and you torture yourself by standing by even if he doesn’t seem to have anything else to say. You’re about to excuse himself when he speaks again.

“Please free up your Friday evening. We’ll have a team send-off dinner for you.”

“I, uh. Understood, sir. Thank you.”

He nods once more, and it’s your signal to leave. He’s never felt so far away, but you suppose it’s the kind of distance you need.

You walk back to your seat, the reality of your last week hitting you, especially when you find Do-hyun and Yohan by your desk, looking somber as they reach out for a hug. You return it, with Do-hyun pointing it out, and she frowns when you say that you’ll be without it for a long time.

“Is everything alright?” You ask them.

“Yes,” they respond in unison.

“We just want to spend as much time with you as we can,” Yohan states. “I know we’ve all been busy but… it’s your last week. So let’s have lunch today, and any other day when you’re free. Please?”

“Of course,” you say. “Food hall today?”

They nod excitedly, and you spend your lunch time at the outdoor space, laughing about, with Lucas slowly but surely finding his place within the team.

That afternoon, Yoongi drops by and says he has lots of things going on because of the changes Jungkook is making, but he’ll meet you when you want to. He reminds you that he’s there when you need him; he’ll turn down the other man if it comes down to it. But he’ll drop by everyday until your last day, he says; he doesn’t want to feel like he didn't see you enough.

You assure him that he’s the one person you’d definitely meet up with outside of work, and so there’s no limit when it comes to him.

On Tuesday, you have lunch with some people from the marketing department whom you’ve gotten close to these past months, and on Wednesday, Bitna and the other assistants take you out to dinner.

CEO Jeon and Hoseok take you out to lunch on Thursday, stating that they wanted to check in and ask what your plans are. They assure you that they’re there should you need support in any way; the company is likewise always going to have a place for you. And with the sincerity in their eyes and their hope of you finding your place and your happiness, you know they mean well. So you take that time to ask for advice, too.

It ends in laughter, as you recall your early days at the company and the mishaps with Hoseok. You talk about some of the issues you’ve been privy to and some details about your life that they missed. Talking with them feels comfortable now that there’s an acknowledgment of your ties to their family. You can tell that despite of and after everything, CEO Jeon truly cares for you and your mother, and that he’ll be eternally sorry yet grateful to both of you.

You’re thankful that they don’t mention Jungkook. You wouldn’t know how to react if they did, especially since you’ve barely seen him all week. Missing him has become natural that you’ve just accepted it, including the fact that you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you’ll always be too scared to let him know, too.

It’s Friday before you know it. You manage to get everything done on time, and Jungkook calls you to his office that morning to return your signed clearance form. You hate how you’re both back to this tense dynamic whenever you enter his room - lingering looks, clenched jaws, deafening silence… and words you want to say and hear but know you never would. You’re both not built for that, you think; there’s always so much to feel but not enough courage to face them.

This room holds so many memories - when he got mad, when you stood up to him, when he said he needed your help, when he kissed you and you kissed him back… when you pushed him away.

But this isn’t where you say goodbye. There’s still that team dinner tonight and you hope you get to leave him with a proper farewell and a sincere expression of thanks for all that he’s taught you. You want to wish him good luck on the Arts Center opening. You want to tell him that you believe he’ll keep doing great things, you want to remind him to take proper rest, to take his breaks seriously, and to enjoy all that’s ahead of him.

So you settle for a smile, as genuine as you can make it, before heading out and closing the door behind you.

You return to your desk and go over some other things with Lucas that he needs clarifications on. You both spend lunch with the team and then resume your final turnover.

It’s shortly after 3 PM when Jungkook comes out of his room with his bag in hand, and he instructs Lucas to get some blueprints from Chin-sun before they both leave to go to the Arts Center for a visit. The man next to you gets up and tells you he’ll see you at dinner, leaving you and Jungkook alone this time.

It’s that lingering look again and he stays rooted in his spot, his eyes getting more distant as the seconds pass.

“I wish you well, ___,” he says, the use of your name with words that seem like goodbye causing a crack in your heart. “Good luck. And thank you.”

He doesn’t wait for a response as he leaves right after, and you’re left with your heart in your hands, one that keeps calling his name. You think it will continue to do that after all this.

You spend the rest of the afternoon packing your things and entertaining all those who drop by to say goodbye. Yoongi messages to say he’s out on a project site but that he’ll see you soon, and it’s something you look forward to after things have settled down.

You find yourself in a private room at a nice restaurant with the team not long after. You can order anything, you’re told, and Do-hyun and Yohan don’t hesitate on choosing the dishes that they wouldn’t have been able to eat if it wasn’t for their boss paying for this meal.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Lucas and Mr. Jeon?” You ask, looking around and feeling incomplete.

“This dinner is for you, and you’re here,” Do-hyun points out. “But I guess we can wait.”

You settle for some appetizers and get to talking. They’re less sentimental than they were a few weeks ago. They say they’ve made peace with everything and are just happy that you’re able to take a break and have time for yourself before going back to the grind. It’s all talk and laughter, and when Lucas arrives, everybody cheers because then, you can all have your food served.

“Where’s Mr. Jeon?” Do-hyun asks before you do.

“He’s at the Arts Center dealing with the laborers and the design team,” Lucas says regrettably. “Seems like there’s too much work and he can’t make it to dinner. I doubt he even eats at this point. He’s there every afternoon and doesn’t leave until late at night.”

“Is everything alright?” You ask, a mix of worry and sadness at how much he’s pushing himself, and that he didn’t even have the heart to see you one last time.

Perhaps that short exchange earlier was his final goodbye, you think. And now you wouldn’t even be able to say yours.

“Yeah, you know how he is when he focuses on something,” Lucas sighs. “He just locks in and doesn’t care about anything else. He’s always been like that and I guess that hasn’t changed. But he did say he wants us to enjoy tonight, so order anything you want and he’ll take care of it.”

You mask the disappointment by laughing through Do-hyun and Yohan arguing about the best way to attack the menu, but you can’t help the way your eyes flit to the door every time it opens, hoping Jungkook would walk through it. But it’s never him.

Mr. Ri walks in right as the main dishes are served, and you look at him in question. He returns your dejected look with a shake of his head, as if he knows what you're thinking.

You suppose that this is how Jungkook wanted to end things - by not showing up, by leaving the wound uncovered. You didn’t realize it would hurt like this.

Maybe you deserve it. Maybe you don’t. But with the empty seat on the table reminding you of the man who chose to not give you a final goodbye because you’d done yours so certainly, you’re starting to think that it doesn’t really matter. He gets to choose how he deals with this, like he said. And you have no choice but to do the same.

You try your hardest to keep up with the team’s energy. They’re at least no longer crying, although you wish they were so you’d have a reason to cry yourself, because that’s what you’re trying hard not to do. It’s probably because of the sadness at knowing that you won’t experience this with them anymore; you won’t share the laughter and the stories that you used to. Everything is sinking in already, and it’s reality hitting you that you’re really going to start a new journey soon, and that you had to let go of someone incredibly important for that to happen.

The Jungkook-shaped hole in your life will probably get bigger as the days pass, but that’s just another thing missing that you’ll have to find substitutes for, just like you do for everything else.

You manage to get through dinner with dry eyes, even when you’re presented with farewell gifts. Lucas hands you a large box - a present from the VP’s Office, he says, and you smile in awe when you see a coffee pod maker that’s a similar version to the one you have at the pantry.

“You won’t be going around making other people’s coffee anymore,” Manager Lee says. “So this is for your home. You’ll be on-the-go and busy but at least you’ll have this. It’s also so you’ll always remember us.”

“It’s also how I started,” you point out, recalling your internship days at the company. “But this is great. Please uh, please thank Mr. Jeon for me.”

“And this is from us,” Do-hyun smiles, handing you another box. “Like, this is from our own pockets. And we thought of every single thing in there so don’t forget about us. Ever.”

You open it and find a lot of the things that they know you can’t live without - a tumbler, a mug, notebooks, colored pens and highlighters, post-its, little jars of snacks and candies. There are also self-care items like scented candles and essential oils. In a little bag, there are two disposable cameras and vouchers to your local theater.

And underneath all of those is a complete photo of your team, the one taken during your team building not long ago. Everyone looks refreshed and carefree. Including you. And then there’s Jungkook next to you, hands in his pockets and sporting what you know is a genuine smile. It’s a good reminder of your time together, and despite everything, you’re glad you have something to always keep close to you.

You return their hugs, each one carrying so much care and warmth that you missed out on because you were never one to accept them, to ask for them. You finally say goodbye and make a promise that you’ll catch up with them one of these days, one you know you’ll keep.

You all walk out. Mr. Ri helps you with your things then leads you towards the car.

“Last one for old time’s sake,” he smiles at you. “And it’s late. Let me drive you home.”

You don’t resist, knowing that as someone who’s looked after you for so many years, never faltering in his commitment to your mother or you, you’re truly going to miss him.

Sitting on the passenger seat, you look out the window and try to amuse yourself with the scenes outside. There are cars passing by and people trying to get home, probably grateful that another week is over. You wonder how many of them are nursing broken hearts, or are running away from something, or are hoping someone they pushed away comes back.

The tears are falling before you know it, and as you try to hold in your sniffles, you see Mr. Ri from your periphery glance at you before turning on the radio, gradually making the music louder so as to drown out your sounds. That continues for a while until the streets start to look familiar. Somehow, you dread going home - being alone at a time like this feels a little too much, but maybe you deserve that, too.

You arrive at your apartment, and Mr. Ri helps you in bringing all your stuff inside. He stays by the door and his soft eyes prompt you to speak.

“I thought he’d come,” you whisper. “I thought I’d see him one last time. He… he couldn’t even say goodbye.”

“You know it’s not always easy for people to do that,” he says. “Letting you go was hard enough. What if he says something that would push you even farther away?”

“I can’t be any farther than I am right now,” you sigh. “But we did this to each other. I didn’t want to stay and he… just let me walk away. I hurt him but everything else after hurt me, too. And I… I wish it didn’t. I—”

You’re unable to speak as you cry once more, all the conflicting emotions suffocating you from within. And all Mr. Ri can do is wipe your tears with his handkerchief and hope that could stop them somehow.

“This hurts me,” he utters the words so softly and so heavy with emotion. “It’s like watching my daughter get her heart broken.”

It’s what makes you smile, and you take the piece of cloth from him and dry your eyes.

“I could’ve been,” you say, knowing that he wanted a family at one point.

“That’s true. But most times I think that I would’ve been too burdened by what I’ve done that I wouldn’t have been able to love your mother the way she deserves,” he reasons. “And I’ll always think that I let her go so that she could find someone like Min-woo who’d love her without reservations, who’d be able to give her a life that she’d always dreamed to have and to give you.”

Mr. Ri recalls his own decisions and the heartbreaks that followed right after. They conflicted him, too, but in life, knowing what you want doesn’t always mean you get to express it the way you want to. Sometimes doing it makes it harder for everyone involved, and that’s what he thinks is what’s happening with you and Jungkook, too.

“I think it’s what Jungkook has learned,” he continues. “He has to let you go so you could find whatever happiness it is that you couldn’t find where you are. And as for you, you have to know that letting someone go right now doesn’t mean you can’t ever have them again. You just have to stop thinking you don’t deserve to want it.”

You take his words to heart as you bid him goodbye, and they stay in your head as you force yourself to sleep later that night.

You don’t know what kind of happiness you’re searching for. You don’t even know what happiness could truly be like with Jungkook, and the thought that maybe you’ll never know starts to scare you. It’s one you think you’d like to one day experience. But how could you when you pushed him away? Is it even something you could still want, given what you’ve done? Is it something he’d want to know as well? In the midst of the mess you created, could it still happen?

You’re reminded of what CEO Jeon had said not long ago, and you try to comfort yourself with it. You crossed paths with Jungkook for a reason. You’ve started to believe that you’re losing him for a reason. You just have to trust that if it’s meant to be, you’ll find him again for a reason as well.

You just hope that when you do, he’ll take you back again, ask you to stay, and you’ll be able to tell him with your whole heart that you will. And that it’s something you won’t ever regret.

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sunshine-and-kookies · 1 year ago

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sunshine-and-kookies · 1 year ago

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Just read this 2nd instalment of PC and….

This one is A REAL COUP @go1denjeon

I abstained from reading fiction for a while but after stumbling across Poisoned chalice in my feed, somewhere, somehow, the premise, title and summary reeled me into reading it and I cannot FATHOM how I would’ve missed on reading such a masterpiece had I not listened to my gut.

For a lack of better word, it’s uncanny, but in the wow-this-plot-is-something-else way. The power imbalance and age gap are highlighted subtly enough to ensure the reader comprehends the dynamic between the mc and jeongguk while not going overboard.

Having read COC and TOY, I surmise this piece will be operating on a similar theme as well & I CANNOT wait for the next instalment.

10/10 would recommend to all heavy yandere fiends. Don’t miss out on this one!!

Thank you so much for bringing this exhilarating piece to life, author.

Super pumped for the upcoming eps <3 <3

Poisoned Chalice (2)

❛ ━━ logline. when you received an invitation to meet with the renowned and famous filmmaker, jeon jungkook, you were more than ecstatic as he was your favorite director. however, you soon realized why people say never meet your heroes.

❛ ━━ pairing. filmmaker!jungkook x filmmaker!fem!reader

❛ ━━ genre/au. yandere, age gap (5 years) au, film industry au

❛ ━━ warnings. this is a fictional story. any resemblance to a person, name, events, locations, and the likes are either purely coincidental or used in a fictitious manner. the actions, motivations, and intentions of jungkook and the rest of the idols featured in this story do not represent and depict who they are in real life. the author does not condone any of the yandere actions, motivations, and intentions in this story. this story contains mature themes not suitable for anyone below the age of 18.

mature themes ahead: yandere, manipulation, corruption and misogyny in the film industry, power imbalance, graphic depiction of violence, coercion, dubcon, stalking, and objectification of women. read at your own risk.

Like most people on the planet, the first you did when you woke up was to check your phone for any messages or calls. Jaeyun’s messages were the first that you saw followed by some emails from websites you’d long forgotten you signed up for and other spam emails. There were also a couple of notifications from your social media accounts, some from your YouTube channel from your old video essays. You had wanted to make a new one but you were preoccupied with uni and now, you were going to be even more busy.

You sat on the softest bed you had ever slept on. You didn’t even know when you fell asleep but you knew you had never experienced a slumber like that in a long while. You decided to check on Jaeyun’s messages first.

From: Jaeyun

You still alive? I got home at 2 in the morning already lmao. Almost gave mom a heart attack. She says hi, by the way. Oh, and good morning!

You smiled as you imagined Mrs. Sim’s reaction to seeing her youngest son coming home. She always had big ones that made you laugh and smile. The Sims had always been the family you wished you had. You supposed they were your family but even though you had grown closer to them over the years, you were still a bit wary, not wanting to overstep or overstay your welcome. But one thing was for sure: they were more your family than your own blood.

Hence, it was also the reason why, despite the obvious romantic feelings your best friend harbored for you, and sometimes, you thought felt the same way too, you always turned it down. Whenever Jaeyun would try to confess his feelings for you, you’d always steer the conversation away from it. The reason was simple: you didn’t want to lose him as your best friend, practically family, and you didn’t want to lose his family.

After sending him a reply stating that you were still alive and that you said hi to his mother as well, you began your morning routine—shower, getting dressed, putting on light makeup, and then you left your room. As you were walking down the hall, a figure emerged from one of the rooms, startling you. When said figure looked at your direction, you were surprised, to say the least, when you recognized who he was—the famous actor, Kim Taehyung.

“Hi,” you greeted, bowing to him respectfully. When you stood back up, you saw a smile plastered on his face. “I’m Y/N. I’ll be assisting Director Jeon in this film.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Taehyung. I’m playing the lead role in the film,” he said. “Come on, everyone’s downstairs for breakfast.”

You nodded, following Taehyung. “So, you’re his new assistant director? How did that happen?” Taehyung asked as you went downstairs.

“Oh, um, he sent me an invite to meet with him. Then, he just offered me the job and I accepted it right away,” you replied, pulling the sleeves of your hoodie down to cover your hands. It was really cold.

“Right away? You must really want to work with Jungkook, then,” he said, glancing at you. He still had that smile on his face.

“Well, who wouldn’t, really? He’s a great filmmaker,” you answered.

“That he is,” You arrived in the kitchen where you saw a couple of people eating on the island, while Jungkook was cooking something on the stove. “Hey everyone, meet Y/N, Jungkook’s new assistant director.”

Once more, you bowed respectfully to everyone in front of you, introducing yourself, ending it with the usual, “I’ll work hard.”

“Hey Y/N, there’s no need to be so formal with us. Just be casual. I’m Mingyu,” a tall, honey-skinned man eating a bowl of cereal gave you a wave.

Of course, you already knew who these people were. They were the core of GCF. The people who helped Jungkook reach the status he had now. Kim Mingyu was the cinematographer, Jungkook’s right-hand man, if you will. They had known each other for years and he also went to Ateneo. Next to him, a woman with long dark hair and sharp features was the producer of Jungkook’s films, Krystal Jung. She used to be an actress. She was the lead in Jungkook’s first film. Across from her was Jung Jaehyun, the Editor. Your best friend admired his work. Beside him was Park Jimin, head of the production design. Lastly, there was Yang Jeeun, the lead female role in the film you were currently working on.

“Y/N, come sit and eat breakfast. We’re going over today’s schedule,” Jungkook told you once everyone had introduced themselves.

“Yes,” you replied. Mingyu motioned to come sit next to him and though you were shy about it, you didn’t have much of a choice. It was the only seat available after Taehyung sat beside Jimin—and you sure as hell wouldn’t seat at the head of the table.

“Jungkook told me you’re from Ateneo Film Institute?” the honey-skinned man asked you.

You nodded. “Yes. I’m in my junior year.”

“Ah, so you must be around twenty-one, correct?” You weren’t going to lie—the question seemed odd to you. The way Mingyu sounded almost fascinated by it. But you shook the feeling away, probably just first day jitters.

“Yes, but I’ll be turning twenty-two on the 31st,” Mingyu nodded and Jungkook sat down on the empty chair at the head of the table.

As soon as he did so, you noticed everyone straightened their backs which you instinctively followed. As always, Jungkook seemed to command everyone in the room. He began to go over the schedule for the day, discussing it amongst his peers. You were in awe of him throughout; you probably didn’t even hear half of what they were discussing. You were amazed by his professionalism—everyone’s really—and you couldn’t wait to see him work as the director up close and personal.

Once the meeting was done, Jungkook dismissed everyone, except you. While everyone began to prepare for the shoot, you remained in the kitchen with him.

“Did you sleep well last night, Y/N?” he asked, leaning forward with his elbows resting on the counter top.

“I did, yes. You?” you asked politely.

“I did too,” Jungkook replied. “Y/N, for today, I just want you to observe how a professional film crew works. Stick close to me. Focus on your work and don’t get distracted. Remember, not everyone gets to have an opportunity like this so I hope you don’t waste it.”

“I understand. You can count on me, Direct—Jungkook. Sorry. I’m still not used to being casual,” you said, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“It’s okay. You got the entire shoot to get used to it. Now, do you have any questions before we join them outside?”

You thought for a moment until a question popped in your head. “Are we the only ones staying in this house? What about the other film crew?”

Jungkook nodded. “Most of our film crew are outsourced since I like to work with a small number of people—people that share the same vision as I do. Besides, I find it to be more efficient. The other crew stays at another house a few minutes away from here.”

That was something you didn’t know but you understood his reasoning. You, too, preferred working with people you trusted and shared your vision for a film.

“Any more questions?”

You shook your head. “None at the moment.”

“Okay,” Jungkook said, leaving his seat. “Let’s get to work then.”

Seeing Jeon Jungkook work as a director this up close and personal was something that you never expected to happen but here you were, watching the legendary director himself take control of the entire shoot. He was professional—stern but also gave his actors the freedom to act how they think their characters would act in the scene. He directed them well and it showed on the screen. Moreover, you admired how he never raised his voice and remained composed even when things weren’t going the way he wanted it to but there was also a trace of uneasiness because of this. You couldn’t help but think if this was the calm before a storm.

The film was about a May-December affair with a dark twist. It was the best way you could describe the film when you read the script. It was so different from the films Jungkook had written and directed before. Usually, his works were about the struggles of being in one’s twenties—tackling various issues the youth faced in this period of their life from depression to addiction to the feeling of loss and then finding the light at the end of the tunnel, if only momentarily. It was one of the many reasons why he became your favorite filmmaker—he made you feel like you were seen and heard. That you were valid.

You supposed, as he was now 26, it was only natural for him to talk about more mature topics. He, too, grew up and experienced other things to take inspiration from.

You were standing behind him, not too far that you wouldn’t be able to come to him when needed you to, but not too close that you would distract him from working. Currently, Yeeun and Taehyung’s characters were arriving at the lakehouse. Jungkook had given you a headset earlier to listen to the audio clearly and you jumped a bit when they began to say their dialogues.

“You’re seriously still mad at me?” Taehyung asked as soon as he parked in the driveway of the lake house. Yeeun did not answer, only took off her seatbelt, and left the vehicle. Taehyung followed suit. “Hyeri, look, I’m sorry. I know I promised you we’d go to Japan but she’s there with the kids and—,”

“I don’t care, Taehyung. I’m tired. I wanna sleep,” Yeeun snapped, turning on her heels to face her lover. “We drove for six fucking hours to this secluded place and I just want to sleep.”

Taehyung poked his cheek with his tongue, putting his hands on his waist, “Don’t be like this, Hyeri. It’s the first time we’ll be able to spend time together after three months.”

Yeeun scoffed, a puff of smoke coming out of her mouth from the cold, “Exactly. Three months passed and you still take me to secluded places just so we can be together. You said you were going to divorce her.”

Taehyung sighed deeply, walking towards Yeeun. He placed his hands on her cheeks, and while she refused to look at him at first, Taehyung tilted her head to face him, “I am going to. Baby, don’t you trust me?”

Yeeun lowered her gaze, then looked back at Taehyung through her lashes, “I do. I trust you, Tae.”

“Then, can’t you wait for a little while longer? I love you, not her, isn’t that enough? I choose to be with you.”

Yeeun nodded, “I love you too.” They kissed.

“And… cut!” Jungkook exclaimed. Then, Yeeun and Taehyung pulled away from each other and bowed at each other. Just like that, the first scene was finished.

You shot two more scenes before Jungkook told everyone it was lunch break and to be back in an hour.

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s eat,” Jungkook invited, nose and cheeks red from the cold.

You nodded and followed him inside the lakehouse where food was already prepared in the kitchen and dining area. Most of the crew were already eating but when they saw Jungkook entering, they all stopped to greet him and invite him to eat. Jungkook gestured for them to continue eating and led you to a private room.

Expecting the rest of GCF to be in there, you were surprised when you saw it empty with just the food and utensils prepared on the table.

“We’ll be working with each other for two to three months, tops, Y/N. We have to get to know each other better,” Jungkook told you, noticing your eyes widening in surprise. “Take a seat. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Have you always wanted to do film?” Jungkook asked, placing a piece of sweet and sour pork on top of your bowl of rice.

Bowing at the gesture, you replied, “I guess not always.”

Jungkook nodded slowly, taking a sip from his soup, “What did you dream of becoming when you were young?”

The question transported you back to the times when you were still young and your mother first took you to ballet. You were nine and it was Sunday. The sun hadn’t even risen yet and she woke you up from your sleep, told you to get ready and be in the living room in thirty minutes. Though you were confused and still sleepy, she was your mother, and so you obeyed her. Before the thirty minutes was up, you were in the living room and soon, your mother emerged down the stairs, and she drove you to a ballet school.

She just thrusted you in that world without any warning and you couldn’t complain because, again, she was your mother. So, even though you were pretty much behind the other students, even when it came to the basics as they had been doing it since they were three or four, you endured it for your mother. Until you were thirteen, ballet was the only thing in your mind.

“I guess it was to become a professional ballet dancer,” you said to the director, lowering your gaze as you took a bite of your food, feeling your hunger satisfied with the taste of the pork.

“What changed?”

Once more, your mind went back to the past.

Summer before you turned fourteen, your family visited your grandparents’ house in the province. It was their 75th wedding anniversary at that time so each of their children and their families gathered at the ancestral house. While you were playing hide and seek with your cousins, you stumbled upon the basement.

“I saw an old Super8 camera there and I don’t know but I was just fascinated by it. I took it upstairs, I didn’t even care if I lost the game, and immediately brought it to my dad to ask what it was and he told me. Unfortunately, it was broken, so I couldn’t use it at that time but I guessed my dad saw the curiosity in my eyes because when we got back from my grandparents’, he bought me my first camera. I began taking pictures and videos and have never looked back since.”

It was a bittersweet memory for you and when you finished narrating your story to Jungkook, you felt tears forming in your eyes as you remembered your father.

“That’s sweet, Y/N. I’m glad you found that camera and I’m glad your dad encouraged your dream,” Jungkook told you softly. “Was he happy when you told him you were working at GCF?”

“I think he would be if he was here,” you answered with a shaky breath.

��I’m sorry, I didn’t know, Y/N.”

Shaking your head, you met his eyes once more. Jungkook looked at you with a soft, apologetic gaze, “It’s fine. It’s been years anyway.”

He nodded once more, “How’s your first day so far?”

You shifted on your seat, “It’s great, really. I’m learning by watching you and the rest of the crew. I can’t wait to tell all about it to Jaeyun and the others back at AFI. I’m sure they’ll be so thrilled.”

“You do remember you signed an NDA, Y/N. You can’t tell anyone about anything that is happening right here,” Jungkook pointed as he poured himself a glass of water.

“Oh, I just meant—I didn’t mean the story or anything—I just meant, like, the technical stuff…” you trailed off, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.

Silence befell between the both of you. Then, Jungkook asked, “How much do you want to be a director, Y/N? To make films?”

“I mean, I even went to university for it so I guess a lot. I can’t see myself doing anything else, to be honest,” you answered with a small smile.

“I see. Then, will it be alright if I give you some advice about how to make it in the industry?”

He was more than welcome to give you advice. It was one of the reasons why you were here in the first place—to learn from the best. So, eagerly, you nodded. Jungkook’s lips cracked into a smile then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table in front of him as he laced his fingers together and placed all his attention on you.

“First, you need to realize that not everyone is your friend—even the ones you consider your best friend,” Jungkook began. “In this industry or in any other industry, people are always looking to undercut you or take credit for your accomplishments. You can’t afford to blindly put your faith in people. You always have to be… strategic.”

You understood what he meant. You really did. You knew the people in your life would never betray you. Especially Jaeyun, who he seemed to be targeting specifically. But you didn’t protest and continued to listen to his advice.

“Trust is very important, Y/N. You can work with people who share the same goals as you, like I do with Mingyu and the rest of GCF, but I don’t trust them. I don’t trust anybody. I don’t trust you, too.”

That made you furrow your eyebrows and an unfamiliar feeling bubbled up inside you. It wasn’t an offense; you weren’t offended that Jeon Jungkook didn’t trust you. But hearing him say it made you want to earn his trust much like how you wanted to earn his respect and regard in your work as a filmmaker.

“Wouldn’t that be hard? Working with people you don’t trust?” you asked.

“I trust that they’ll get the job done, yes, but I don’t trust them with my career and my personal life. There’s a difference—and that’s what you need to learn next: at the end of the day, it’s you who gets to say what you want in your life and every aspect of it, not someone else.”

You nodded, “Yes. I understand.”

“Next, mixing business with pleasure,” you felt your cheeks heat up because you knew exactly what he meant. “Now, what you do with your life outside film—that’s on you. But as your senior in the industry, I would advise that you don’t involve yourself with people that you work with—whether they’re actors or producers or cinematographers. It’ll just create unnecessary attention and drama. The media would also speculate and it’ll take away the attention from the story you’re telling.”

Dating hadn’t really been a priority for you. Your mother didn’t encourage it; she detested it, even, because it would just “distract you from your goals.” And you guessed, even after being estranged from her the moment you turned eighteen, it was one of the things you still carried with you throughout the years. Your life had always revolved around film; you practically had no life outside of it. You didn’t have football like Jaeyun to fall back on in case it didn’t work out; it was always film or nothing.

“I wouldn’t have a problem with that regard,” you replied with a chuckle. “It’s not a priority for me.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say things like that, Y/N. You might just eat it in the end,” Jungkook responded. “You are a pretty woman, after all. I’m sure you’ll get lots of attention once the film rolls out.”

Once more, your cheeks heat up. It always felt strange to receive such compliments from men, but strangely, when it came from Jeon Jungkook, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Like it just validated your entire person.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that, but thank you… Jungkook,” Even saying his name after what he just said made you feel shy.

“Eat more. We still have a long day to go. You’re going to need all the energy you can get,” Jungkook urged, continuing on his meal.

“Yes, thank you.”

By the time the shoot ended, it was already midnight. Everyone had packed up for the day and the outsourced crew went back to their lodging while you along with the GCF team went back to the mansion. All of them called it a night, retreating to their respective rooms and you did so too. Once you had washed the day off your body and changed into your pajamas, you checked your phone which you left in your room.

Not surprisingly, you saw Jaeyun’s plethora of messages, asking what you were up to, why you weren’t answering, panicking, sending pictures of Layla, his Border Collie, and the last message which read: Please let me know you’re safe and alive, Y/N.

You felt bad for not getting back to him sooner but you didn’t want to disobey Jungkook’s rules either. No phones on set. So, even though you were tired and sleepy, you decided to video call your best friend. You were seated on your bed, back against the stack of pillows. It rang a few times before finally, you saw your best friend’s face illuminated by the blue light of his laptop.

“Y/N, what the fuck? I thought you died,” he worriedly stated as he leaned his face towards the camera. “I sent you a bunch of messages and called you a million times.”

“Sorry Jae. We’re not allowed to have phones in the set so I left it here,” you told him.

“That’s so archaic. What happens if there’s an emergency? You’re already in a creepy location next to a creepy forest,” Jaeyun sighed deeply, shaking his head. “Did you eat, at least? You know you can’t skip a meal because of your anemia.”

“I ate, don’t worry. Seriously, Jaeyun, you have got to stop worrying. I’m alive and in one piece. What more evidence do you need?”

“I can’t help it. You know, the last time we were apart, you almost died, Y/N…” your best friend trailed off.

You remembered it like it was yesterday. You were fifteen and it was winter break. Jaeyun spent it in Australia with the rest of his extensive family while you remained at home with your parents. You had wanted to skate in the frozen lake a couple of blocks from your house and told Jaeyun about it over chat but he told you it was dangerous, that you shouldn’t go. That very night, you got into an argument with your mother because she found out that you had dropped out of your ballet classes along with the other extracurricular activities she signed you up for. It was so extreme that you ran away from home for the first time.

Somehow, you ended up at the lake. You were the only one there and it gave you peace, even only for a moment. Then, as you got up from the shoreline, you slipped and hit your head on the frozen lake. You didn’t remember anything after; just that you woke up in a hospital bed with Jaeyun by your side, sleeping. When he felt you stir, he woke up instantly and cried for hours.

“You keep forgetting it wasn’t your fault. It was mine because I was a dumbass who went to the lake and slipped,” you told him.

“Yeah, but I should’ve been there for you. You’re my best friend, Y/N. I should’ve been there for you instead I was—,”

“You were with your family, spending Christmas with them. That isn’t a crime, Jaeyun. You don’t need to beat yourself up over it anymore. You never had to,” you grabbed the digital clock from the nightstand and placed it on your bed, using it as a support for your phone. “Nothing bad is gonna happen to me when we’re apart. You can’t keep worrying about me when I’m not there with you. It’s inevitable that we’re going to take different paths as we grow old. But it doesn’t mean we won’t be friends anymore. You’re still going to be my best friend until we die old in the countryside, dumb ass.”

Jaeyun put his hoodie on as he sighed, “I don’t know. It’s just—it’s just hard to imagine not being together everyday when we’ve literally spent our entire lives together, Y/N. You know, with graduation next year and all that, suddenly, it feels like there’s not much time anymore. I guess, I just don’t want to lose you.”

You brought your knees close to your chest, ensuring Jaeyun could still see your face, “Jaeyun, I promise you, when I get back, we’ll spend every waking minute of every day. And you won’t lose me, you never will.”

Jaeyun rested his cheek on his palm as he leaned just close enough to the camera, “Promise?”

“I promise, idiot. Now, tell me, what gossip did I miss on my first day away from social media?”

Your call went on for God knows how long until the both of you fell asleep.

The next morning, you woke up in a jolt. Do you know that feeling—when your body woke up before your mind because it knew you were fucked big time? That’s how you felt that morning. You checked on your phone for the time but it had no charge since you fell asleep with Jaeyun on video call. So, your eyes wandered on the next time-telling device, the digital clock you used as a supporter last night and you immediately hopped out of bed and got dressed quickly.

It was half past noon. You were supposed to wake up at 8 am for today’s shoot. Throughout your way to the filming site, you were cursing yourself for not waking up on time. You didn’t even have enough time to dress properly for the cold weather—you only slipped on your hoodie, kept your pajamas on, and wore your house slippers. The anxiousness coating your entire body overrode the coldness. There was nothing more that could make you shiver but the impending doom you were obviously going to meet once you reached the set.

“Ah, there’s the lovely assistant director. Y/N, did you sleep well?” The cinematographer, Mingyu, was the first to approach you on set. Everyone was looking at you with disappointment, perhaps even irritation—which you didn’t blame them for—while they packed up the equipment they used for the outside shoot. Mingyu, on the other hand, had a wide grin plastered on his face, seemingly amused by your disposition.

“Sir, I’m so sorry I overslept. I set my alarm but I—,” you began to apologize but he waved his hand.

“It’s not me you should apologize to, Y/N. You know who you should apologize to. He’s at the back, by the patio, smoking. I’d apologize now rather than later.”

You nodded and apologized to him with a deep bow before you hurriedly made your way inside the lakehouse which garnered you yet another set of disappointed looks from the crew eating their lunch. You also spotted some of the GCF crew—but like Mingyu, they seemed rather amused than anything else. But you didn’t have time to ponder about their reactions, you had more pressing matters—or rather, you had a more pressing matter to attend to.

And that was the man who was sitting on the patio across from you. Like Mingyu told you, he was smoking but he failed to mention that he was with Krystal, the producer. You were suddenly unsure if you should go because they looked like they were in a serious conversation but when Jungkook spotted you standing at the other end of the patio, he said something to the producer who then snapped her head in your direction, an icy expression on her face as she looked at you. You swallowed the lump in your throat nervously. Krystal looked back at Jungkook then made her way towards you.

“Do you think this is some kind of vacation?” Krystal raised her eyebrow at you, tone harsh. You lowered your head in shame. “I hope you know the gravity of what you did. It isn’t just you who will suffer.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Jung. I really—,” But like Mingyu, she told you it wasn’t her who needed the apology.

“You better fix this, Y/N.” Krystal hissed before she made her way back inside the lakehouse.

With every step towards the smoking director, you felt the anxiety in you grow bigger and heavier. You weren’t one to be pessimistic and overthink things, that was always Jaeyun, but now—all you could think about was all the worst possible outcomes of your irresponsibility. And when you finally arrived at the end of the patio where Jeon Jungkook was standing and smoking, all that you could say was, “I’m sorry.”

Jungkook blew the smoke in his mouth into the air, “You’re sorry for what exactly?”

You licked your lower lips, pulling on the sleeves of your hoodie—partly because the cold started to take over your body, partly because you were so ashamed that you just wanted to hide every inch of your body.

“I’m sorry for waking up late and missing the morning shoot.”

Jungkook drew another smoke from his cigarette before throwing it on the ground and stomping on it with his big black combat boot, “I thought you wanted to become a filmmaker, Y/N?”

“I do!” you suddenly perked up, nervously meeting Jungkook’s unreadable gaze. “I do. I’m so sorry.”

“Tell me, Y/N,” Jungkook said as he put his hands deep into the pocket of his padded North Face coat. “Why did you wake up so late today, hmm? What kept you all night?”

The cold was beginning to coat your exposed toes. You exhaled shakily, body beginning to shiver, “I—I was talking to Jaeyun.”

“All night?” the director asked and you nodded. He sighed. “You say you wanna be a director, you get a once in a lifetime opportunity, and yet, on your second day of on the job—you blew it all so you could talk to your friend all night knowing you have an early shoot the next day. What kind of a filmmaker will you be, Y/N? An irresponsible one? Someone who would choose gossip over their work?”

You shook your head, feeling tears burning your eyes, and it didn’t take long before they rolled down your cheeks, “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, Jung—,” No. It didn’t feel right calling him that in this situation. So instead, you said, “Director Jeon.”

“This is why I don’t trust people. Such a disappointment, Y/N. I had faith in you.”

“I’m sorry.” It was all you could say, head low as tears kept streaming down your face. “I’ll make sure this won’t happen again.”

Then, Jungkook stepped closer to you. Through your teary vision, you could see his big black combat boots in front of your feet. He was so close that you could smell the nicotine on him. Jungkook lifted your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look at him, tear-strained and all.

“How will you make sure this won’t happen again, Y/N?” he asked, his tone an octave lower. There was something in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. His fingers were still on your chin, slowly caressing it as he waited for your answer.

“I—,” you began to say. The more you stared into his eyes, it felt like you were beginning to be hypnotized. “I won’t stay up all night talking to anyone anymore. I’ll always set an alarm. I’ll do everything to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Please, Director Jeon,” Perhaps, it was instinct that made you hold onto his arm as you pleaded. “Don’t take me off the project.”

Jungkook’s eyes seemed to darken as you pleaded. Then, he removed his fingers from your chin and took a step back. “You and I—we will review each scene that you missed this morning tonight. We will do this every night starting from now on. It seems that I have not been doing a good job keeping an eye on you and I hate being embarrassed by someone I entrusted to do a good job on behalf of my name and my team. From now on, I’ll keep a closer eye on you. Do you understand, Y/N?”

You nodded, “I do. I understand, Director Jeon.”

“Until you earn it back, from now on, you will call me Sir.”

You nodded again, “Yes sir. I understand.”

“Go back to the house and reflect on your mistake. I’ll see you tonight.” Dejected, you followed as instructed.

author’s note: part 2 is up! so far, this is my favorite chapter lol. a lot more pandora boxes have been opened and i’m excited for what’s more to come. as always, please let me know what you think by commenting down below/reblogging or sending me an ask (i turned off anon in my asks btw cos i think it’s time we show each other who we are instead of hiding behind anon cos who knows??? we might become friends <333

#yandere jungkook #jungkook x reader #fic recs #fic rec

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sunshine-and-kookies · 1 year ago

Text

LETSSS GOOOOOOO!!!!!

guys

if i ever see any of you in public, the code is “i like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

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sunshine-and-kookies · 1 year ago

Text

This one shot is a paragon of keeping the reader on their toes, anticipating for what’s to come and then concluding with a beautiful ending.

4.4K word count and still such a detailed and meticulous read.

I’m in awe 🫢

Ik I’ll be re reading this one multiple times 🫣

A Masterpiece indeed!

➥ pairing | jeon jungkook x f!reader ➥ word count | 4.4k ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; fwb, angst w/ a happy ending, teasing, finger fucking, squirting, praise kink, frottage, dirty talk, pet names, commitment issues, jealous!jk, possessive!jk, dom!jk, idiots in love, misunderstandings ➥ summary | after being stood up one too many times, you realize you're in love with jungkook. and that just won't do. ➥ notes | istg i've re-written this more times than i care to count 💀 enjoy!

🖤 masterlist | inbox | AO3 🖤

cnt make it 2nite

The text is blunt - biting. No explanation offered, and certainly no false platitudes found in the lifeless string of black letters. Rather simple and straight to the point.

As you should have expected from Jungkook. He wasn’t known for his verbosity, and even less so for his love of texting.

But as you chew the fat of your cheek, reading it over and over again in an attempt to glean some hidden meaning that isn’t there, you admit to yourself - at least privately - there’s no more avoiding the truth.

One that’s been hovering over your shoulder for weeks like a shroud; an unwelcome guest you can’t ignore anymore: Jungkook’s been avoiding you.

It shouldn’t be surprising.

Moreover, it shouldn’t hurt.

There shouldn’t be an ache in your chest every time you see his contact or the plummet of your stomach when that inevitable excuse comes through.

In the end, he owes you nothing. The arrangement between you is casual, just a little fun between good friends.

It still fucking sucks though, you think, sucking your teeth.

Night thoroughly ruined before it’s begun, it’s only a matter of deciding how to respond now. In the past you’ve used a plethora of options, but you’re stumped. Unsure how to correlate the level of hurt to the nature of your not-relationship.

Should you be petty, passive-aggressive, indifferent - or worst of all: honest?

Hah, no way. I’d rather die.

Beside you, the bartender politely averts his gaze and busies himself with polishing a stack of pint glasses. It’s a slow night, and that’s saying something as this bar’s a little hole in the wall.

It’s never overly busy, which is one of the reason’s it’s a favorite meeting spot of yours. The floors might be sticky, but the music’s decent, the strobe lights they kick on after 10 PM aren’t offensive enough to induce a migraine, and the drinks are cheap with a heavy pour.

Watching him work is impressive - and almost distracting enough for you to ignore the needle sharp ache taking root beneath your ribs, the churn of your stomach.

Humiliation burns hot, creeps up your neck to settle into the apples of your cheeks as you’re stood up.

Again.

It isn’t the first time - it won’t be the last.

But it cuts deeper than all the rest combined, harder to shake off. You can’t lie to yourself anymore. The growing distance between you throbs like an open wound, as if Jungkook himself plunged a hand into your chest.

Scooped out any tender, soft thing he could find and left you hollowed out. Drained.

Not taking his flakiness personally used to be so easy. And now… well.

Goddamnit. A palm scrubs over your decolletage roughly to soothe the throb of your heart. What the hell did you expect to happen, getting involved with Jeon Jungkook, huh?

Everything from his stupidly pretty eyes to the dangerous curl of his mouth, the thick soles of his boots to the lapels of his leather jacket scream walking red flag.

Never mind the fact his proclivities are an open secret among the group. He’s never tried to hide his distaste for commitment. Finds it too monotonous. Predictable.

An eternally free soul much preferring to flit from one experience to the next, never shackled down for long. The Icarus of myth made flesh.

He runs through women like he runs through shoes, and you witnessed enough of the ensuing heartbreak and tears to be wary.

But knowing and feeling something are two very different things.

The dichotomy throws you off-kilter and finds you abandoned in a bar, once again, to choke on a regret so bitter you swear it’ll burn a hole through your throat.

What’s going on with me, you think, this is nothing new. He does this all the time.

You used to get on so well.

Any initial misgivings faded away in the face of Jungkook’s blinding attention, his unfaltering kindness lurking just beneath that surface of grit and gravel.

Even after you fuck, he never acts any differently, as casual between the sheets as he is lounging on your couch.

It's been great, it's been enough - until now.

Just the thought of going back to your empty apartment, alone, only to wake up and fall back into Jungkook’s orbit tomorrow when he swings by with a half-assed apology on his lips, and your favorite drink in hand is enough to make your skin crawl.

Stomach twisting itself into knots, everything in you rebels against the sudden cold realization: nothing will change - least of all Jungkook.

He’ll continue to take-take-take.

You'll continue to give-give-give.

On and on you'll go; a distant star orbiting a black hole, losing little bits of itself until there's nothing left.

Then he’ll leave your life as quickly as he entered it, a blurry after-image there and gone in the blink of an eye.

Fuck, I - I can’t do this anymore, you think, a shiver rattling down your spine, Because I…

An errant thought gains teeth, sinks them deep. Refuses to budge as an awful truth - one buried so deep you forgot it was there, ever lurking in the shadows - rises to the forefront of your mind.

And then --

Oh.

It’s because I love him - because I’m in love with him.

Suddenly it hurts to breathe, your lungs burning as you drown on the air itself. The steel band cinching around your ribs threatens to crack you open.

Your heart lurches in your chest, despair following swiftly to settle over your shoulders. Moreover, there is no one to blame except yourself.

Even if you want it to, it will never work out because loving Jungkook is to love the ghost of a long-forgotten memory.

And there are too many hurts to soothe, too many disappointments to name.

I can’t believe I actually -- shit. You swipe a shaky hand over your forehead. When you swallow, a sour taste clings to the back of your tongue. Should’ve known better.

You glance at your phone, the cursor blinking back at you mockingly. Should’ve done a lot of things, I guess.

Now, you're in too deep.

Waiting without ever realizing you began to do so in the first place; a life on pause, surviving off scraps of half-measures and maybe's, what-ifs, and if only's.

Now, it's clear the only way out is through.

The time to let go is here.

You need to muster up some semblance of self, and work to untangle the threads of connection binding you together. You need space to rediscover the pieces of your heart you left with him.

How to live without the taste of his kiss, the clench of his muscles, the thrust of his cock.

A new life sans Jungkook which begins with a simple reply in place of everything you really want to say: ok.

Then you wave the bartender over.

He does you a kindness once more, pretending not to notice the tears brimming along your lower lash line. “You ready to order?” he asks.

“Uh, yeah - sorry, I was…”

His mouth twitches. You waver.

Then the screen of your phone lights up with a notification.

Refusing to look lest you cave, emotions too fresh - scraped raw and tender, you switch on DND and turn it face down where it will remain until you go home.

You're far too fragile (and sober) to think about reading Jungkook’s reply, let alone engage with him in any meaningful way.

“I’ll take a double vodka cranberry.”

Maybe if you get drunk enough, you'll forget about the home he carved in your bones.

Bottoms up, bitch.

w8 nvm guys cnt make it

y/n?

i cn b ovr in 10

???

gn ttyt

hey, sorry. called it early.

wyd?

nothing much. you?

nm running some mtchs

cool, cool. you able to swing by today?

yeh b there in 30 :)

In hindsight, trying to have this conversation with Jungkook face to face isn’t the brightest idea. But if anything, last night showed you every choice you’ve made lately is a disaster waiting to happen.

Your life’s already a mess - and you’re hopelessly in love with a man that’ll never love you back - so what’s another mistake added to a long string of misfortune.

So what if your hands tremble and your stomach churns as you unlock the door to let him in.

So what if he leans in for a kiss and you duck to the side, his lips brushing the slope of your cheek.

So what if he pauses and gives you a long, searching look before toeing off his shoes and offering you the drink he picked up on the way.

It can’t get any worse, right?

Only the hungry, molten mixture of rage and rebellion fueling you thus far fizzles away the minute you see him head towards your bedroom with a wink.

Anguish and despair follows in its wake, nipping at your heels.

This is all you’ll ever be to him, you remind yourself as you step into the room. A fun time. Nothing serious. You have to break it off.

You shoot him a tight smile. “Did you have a good night?”

Jungkook shrugs, glancing around at the decorations littering your dresser. “Nah, not really.” His gaze slides to you, traveling from your head to your bare toes in a slow once over. “I definitely would’ve had a better time with you.”

Swallowing roughly, you rub your hands over your arms and suddenly feel far too naked - exposed in your light summer dress. “Hah,” you intone without humor, awkward and stilted. “Probably not. I was out by 11:30.”

“Mm, that’s not like you.” Jungkook hums, moving forward until he’s right in front of you. His hands reach for you, grabbing your wrists gently. His thumb strokes over your pulse point. “You’re acting weird. Is there something you want to talk about, baby?”

Of course he’d notice.

It would be annoying if it wasn’t so endearing. Jungkook always pays attention to the details, makes leaps of logic based on little more than quiet observations.

You stitch together a chuckle. “Nothing gets past you, huh?”

His eyes crinkle at the corners as he grins, his lip ring dimpling the swell of his bottom lip. Your chests brush with every inhale, sharing space and breath.

“Nothing,” he agrees.

It’s torture. It’s too intimate.

The glow of your overhead lamp highlights the sweep of his cheekbones, the curl of his lashes as he blinks slow and happy. The barely there impression of his body is too much.

You shrink back, clearing your throat.

“No, don’t do that. Where are you going?”

His eyes, shimmering with warmth, plead with you to stay, his shoulders curving towards you. A large palm settles over your shoulder, sparks igniting wherever he touches.

“Stop hiding. You can talk to me about anything. Come on, I want to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

Steeling your resolve, you inhale and exhale with a shudder. His expression is open, soft. You know it won’t last, and take a few seconds to commit how he looks in this moment to memory.

For all you know, this will be one of the last times you’ll be this close to him again. At least until you can beat your feelings into submission.

And then you can’t put it off anymore, unable to take the ginger strokes of his fingers. The calming caresses as if he thinks you’re something precious. Quick like ripping off a band-aid, otherwise the words will never get past the bend of your throat.

“I want to stop.”

You catch the way his eyes darken, sharpen in the dim overhead light. He knows exactly what you’re talking about, but his half-smile never falters.

Of course, he refuses to make this easy on you. To acknowledge this is happening. He’s always been a greedy man; wants what he can’t have, and destroys what he does.

“Stop what?” Jungkook says. “You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, baby.”

“Kook,” you sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “You know what I mean. I just - I can’t do,” your voice cracks, a hand motioning to the space between you, “this anymore.”

A vein throbs on the side of his neck, his jaw working in response. Muscles tense and release with every grit of his teeth. He asks, “You gonna tell me why, huh? Or are you just going to ditch me and act like it didn’t mean something?”

“Kook…”

There’s a certain grief that can’t be spoken, gnarled roots burrowing deep in your chest. A sense of loss so keenly felt it almost steals your breath.

You wish this wasn’t happening, you wish you could take it all back but this pantomime of a relationship isn’t fair to you. Not anymore. And you knew this conversation wouldn’t be fun, but Jungkook’s staunch denial still manages to surprise you.

“It didn’t mean anything though,” you say.

At least, not to you, you think. To me, it meant the world.

-- And that’s the problem.

You need to stop whatever this is between you from building. He’s already shown he doesn’t share your desire for more in a multitude of ways. He’s been avoiding you for a reason, whether he was consciously aware of your feelings or not.

Undoubtedly, you trust him with your life but not your heart.

As sweet as he is, has been, he won’t treat it gently. Not through any intentional ill-will but because he can’t contain his own commitment issues let alone make room for yours.

It’s better this way.

Let what you have - had - stay a memory unmarred by the ugliness of your hurt feelings and bitter disappointments.

Jungkook’s shoulders draw up towards his ears, his gaze glacial as his hands slide away from you. “Is there a reason you’re done with me now?”

Shadows lurk in the depths of his eyes, his lips curled into a cruel smirk. Everything about him looks weighted down.

“Well, is there? I mean, shit, I think I’ve earned an answer after all the time we spent together.”

Your heart breaks for him, everything in you calling out to close the gap and offer him comfort. But you can’t. You don’t trust yourself to touch him without wanting more than your heart can bear.

“I’m not done with you,” you say. “I would never do that to you, Kook. I just - I can’t be with you like that anymore, that’s all. I need space but I’ll still be around, I promise.”

The glare he shoots your way freezes the blood in your veins. “Cut the bullshit,” he snarls. “Tell.me.why.”

You avert your gaze, arms wrapping around your chest. “Why does that - I -”

You only had one rule at the very beginning of this mess: if there’s someone you’re serious about, you stop fucking. It comes as a handy lie - a believable excuse that’ll stop any further questioning.

You don’t think you have the fortitude if Jungkook keeps pressing you, cracking under the weight of your grief and the anger in his eyes like fine china.

“I think I - I think I want to start looking for a boyfriend again.”

An expression flashes across his face, there and gone in the blink of an eye. But there’s no doubt he recognizes it for the goodbye it’s supposed to be.

This is it, you think.

You can put what you had to rest and move on, a memory on a shelf you’ll dust off years down the line when the hurt isn’t so prevalent. And hopefully, with time, you can relearn how to be friends.

Though the strange gleam to his eyes sends a prickle of apprehension down your spine, and then you find yourself being manhandled as he snaps forward like a snake coiled to strike.

Air flees your lungs as Jungkook shoves you with a firm palm, your feet stumbling over themselves as you trip backwards into your bed frame.

Wood knocks into the backs of your knees, and you fold like a stack of cards. The sheets puff out around you, the scent of your laundry detergent tickling your nose.

You blink at the textured ceiling, mouth agape as you try to process what happened.

The empty space above you doesn’t stay vacant, Jungkook quickly crowding you into the mattress with his weight as he settles over top of your body.

He molds himself to your front, his firm hips slotting themselves between your thighs. Broad palms, warm and calloused, skim your sides and ruck up the skirt of your dress as he reaches under you to grip the soft globes of your ass.

He yanks you into him, your pelvises slotting together. You whine before you can stop yourself, eyes fluttering shut at the heat of his body.

Teeth scrape along the delicate skin of your neck, the sharp pricks of pleasure-pain coaxing a shiver down your spine.

Lips brush the shell of your ear, his minty breath puffing against the side of your face as he speaks, low and husky, “So that’s it, huh?”

“What--!”

Teeth nip your earlobe, and you wince.

“My girl thinks she’s going to leave me for someone else?” Jungkook snorts. “Like I’d ever let that fucking happen.”

“I’m not your girl.”

You squirm, a bolt of awareness slicing through you as your body responds to his proximity, the weight of him over you electrifying. Liquid desire blooms behind your navel, uncomfortable and unwelcome.

“I never was.”

Blunt nails dig into the fat of your ass, and a cruel mouth latches onto the corner of your jaw. “Ah, is that right?” Jungkook asks, the rumble of his voice vibrating through your torso, your nipples tightening as they drag over the plains of his chest. “You’re not my girl?”

You swallow, and ignore the throb of your clit as the line of his cock ruts into you. “I’m not your girl, Jungkook.”

“If you’re not my girl,” he grinds into the cradle of your hips, teasing - taunting, “then why the fuck are you so wet?”

Keening, you twitch, involuntarily rocking up into the firm pressure of his shaft. The angle’s just right, spreading your folds beneath the thin cotton of your panties and giving your neglected clit the perfect stimulation.

Exposing your soaked core to the chill of your room as your body warms with mortification.

Jungkook hums in approval, giving the side of your neck a sloppy kiss followed by a stinging nip. “You think some nobody can fuck you better than me?”

“That’s not what I - ffuck!”

Heat pools low in your belly, blood pumping fast. You’re steadily losing control, the aborted rolls of your hips increasing in frequency.

“Answer me.”

A sharp burst of copper floods your mouth, your skin splitting open with how hard you’re chewing on it. Blood clings to the swell of your bottom lip, a ruby red bead you lick away with a nervous tongue.

Sweat dappled your brow, and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the molten desire curdling your stomach.

The softness of your body knows the hardness of his, every curve has a matching divot. The heady, pleasant scent of his cologne floods your lungs with every stuttered inhale.

Your senses are overwhelmed as he surrounds you.

“Shit, Kook, please,” you plead, hands tangling in the sheets by your head.

You’re not sure what you’re asking for but at the same time, you’re not sure how you ended up here. Again.

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

This was supposed to be an amenable end to a dubious affair. It’s anything but.

“I want you to tell me who your cunt belongs to.”

Fingers inch down to tease along the soft flesh of your inner thighs, and play with the elastic of your panties.

You tremble, gooseflesh dimpling the exposed skin of your arms as knuckles brush over the length of your soaked pussy.

Your clit pulses, the pressure enough to tease.

“Come on, baby,” Jungkook coaxes, working his way beneath the fabric clinging to your core, “tell me you’re my girl.”

His cock nestles into the crook of your hip, hot and heavy through his jeans as a darkened patch blooms across the denim crotch. The sticky wetness of his pre-cum smearing into your skin as arousal swells, crashing over you.

Leaving you a whimpering, trembling mess in the cage of his arms.

“You just have to say it - say you’re my girl and I’ll be so, so good to you.” His breath warms the shell of your ear. “All you have to do is say it, and I’ll make you cum so hard you see stars.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to cobble together a response, sliding a thick finger through your sticky folds and into your needy pussy just as your lips part.

All words leave you, your mind wiped clean as a low, broken cry echoes out into the room. Swallowed up by the sounds of city life outside your apartment as he works to stretch you open.

You clamp down at the sudden fullness, walls tight and fluttering around his finger like they would be around his cock.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans. “You always feel so soft and wet.”

Whining in agreement, you give up any pretense of resistance, letting primal desire chase away the despair, the guilt that threatens to choke you. Wiping your mind clean of any thoughts until the only thing that remains is the thrust of his fingers and the ache in your cunt.

Your hands slip, scrambling for purchase with sweaty palms. “J-Jungkook!”

Your knees tremble where they dig into his sides, air rushing from you in heavy pants as the space between your bodies heats up. You know you won’t last long, already hanging on the edge.

Never in a million years did you expect to be so turned on by Jungkook’s rough behavior. He usually treats you like something delicate.

Though he holds no such compunction now, raw in his desperate desire to make you cum.

Jungkook peppers kisses onto whatever skin he can reach, spreading your thighs wider with his torso. His knuckles strain against the fabric of your panties, stretching out the cotton and ruining them forevermore as he slips another finger into you.

Then his dark head bows, catching your gaze, and he says, “Hold on.”

Barely seconds after you anchor yourself to his shoulders, he starts finger fucking you to within an inch of your life. His forearm ripples with strength, the movements of his fingers pressing and rubbing against all the right spots. Curling up to massage at your g-spot until you’re shaking beneath him with hitched breaths.

“Shit, shit,” you gasp, eyes rolling back as your toes flex against his side, “Kook, baby, please don’t stop.”

He huffs a laugh, dark and amused. “Wouldn’t ever do that to you, baby.”

“S’good - I - I’m close.”

You sob, tears brimming along your lash line. The sloppy sounds of him fucking your pussy ring in your ears, as embarrassing as it is arousing. He’s making you gush, slick wetting your inner thighs, dribbling down your ass to stain the sheets.

“So close, gonna - hnnng - gonna cum.”

“Yeah, that’s it. Just like that, baby. Give me that squirt.”

You shake your head. “I can’t - I can’t!”

If you could, you’d suspend time so this moment never ends. The finality of your arrangement hovering just on the other side of pleasure.

In the back of your mind, you know Jungkook’s only behaving this way because he’s jealous. Angry. He doesn’t mean it, and this is a mistake.

It’ll only hurt you in the long run but you’ll take what you can get.

After all, this is the last time you’ll be together like this.

“No,” he shushes, dropping a kiss to your sweaty brow, “No, don’t lie. I know you can. I’ll make you.”

There’s no escape.

He refuses to let you escape, using his weight to keep you pinned as he spreads his fingers open inside you, twisting and fucking so deep you feel a twinge behind your navel.

And then you’re right there, crashing over the edge as the bubble of pleasure bursts, crackling through your limbs.

You cum harder than you ever have before. Nails sinking into his shoulders with a hiss as a wounded, broken wail scrapes its way out of your throat.

Your pussy throbs, gummy walls sucking him deeper as a rush of cum gushes from you in spurts. Your ears ring with white noise, and you’re vaguely aware of the fact your hands have gone numb.

For several long moments, you float with a head full of cotton, only rejoining the atmosphere when warmth dribbles down your ass in sticky rivulets of squirt.

Jungkook’s arm is curled around your waist, holding you close as his nose nuzzles into the side of your head. Tender lips dust kisses over your crown. His cock is still a heavy weight digging into your hip but he doesn’t seem to be in any rush to relieve himself.

“Jungkook,” you sigh, a wave of fatigue crashing over you. Your eyes sting when you close them, a lump building in your throat. You ache all over pleasantly, satisfaction settling deep into your bones. In spite of that, a rift opens in your heart. “Jungkook, I--”

He kisses your shoulder, shushing you. “Don’t ruin it. Just let me hold you for a little while longer… please.”

The tears are almost impossible to stop. “It’s already hard enough, don’t make me -- I can’t just…”

Jungkook squeezes you gently. “I love you,” he says, “but I swear to god you can be so stupid sometimes.”

You jolt, eyes swinging up to meet his, wide and disbelieving. “What did you just - I - I don’t. ..Jungkook?”

“How could I not feel the same?” he asks, tone resigned and wary. “Honestly scared the shit out of me when I realized because, well, y’know I don’t have the best track record.” He averts his gaze, a sheepish smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I almost fucked everything up too, but Namjoonie-hyung helped me get my head on straight.”

Something unfurls in your chest, and you feel as light as air. Ridiculously buoyant with happiness. Hope.

Oh, how stupid.

“We’re kind of idiots, aren’t we?” you ask, sniffling as you shoot him a watery smile. “Like… the biggest.”

Jungkook hums in agreement, a boyish gleam to his eyes. “I mean, you said it. Not me.”

#fic recs #Jeongguk #jungkook #jungkookfic

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sunshine-and-kookies · 1 year ago

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Yandere mobster tropes aren't uncharted territories per se yet this fic in particular makes me CHOKE, SCREAM,LAUGH AND WEEP LIKE A TODDLER.

It is so beautifully written, eliciting visceral reactions from someone like me who, to an extent, had become desensitized to ffs in general considering the copious amount of fics I've read over the span of 5 years of stanning tannies.

I've felt a rollercoaster of emotions and all 5 stages of grief reading this masterpiece. EVERYTHING is spot on. The ANGST had me clenching my fists so hard and the tooth rotting fluff made me squeal every time.

Jeongguk was a blatantly flawed protagonist yet the way he was depicted to repent his wrongdoings and change for the better... chefs kiss :')

It includes everything I could ever wish for in a fic & I deeply appreciate @explicit-tae for sharing such a beautiful piece with us readers.

A must read!!

<3 <3

Cruel Intentions (Final)

Warning: masturbating (m), Jin-Seon being spoiled, dirty talk, oral (f receiving), jungkook constantly complimenting mc, unprotected sex, slight dirty talk, mentions of abortion, vomitting,

Word Count: 20,521

Description: While in therapy, Jungkook and you reveal secrets while Hyun-woo makes his long awaited appearance that threatens everything Jungkook worked too hard to achieve.

Jungkook concluded that he didn't like witnessing you crying - and you were nothing but a stranger to him. The harsh tears streaming down your face was aggressive - even as he sits in his car, windows tinted, he could see the clear tears.

You didn't see Jungkook - you never did. It was dangerous to not notice your surroundings and realize the same black car with tinted windows following you - but Jungkook was no threat to you.

You were speaking onto your phone to whom Jungkook assumed was your brother, Hyun-Woo. You're trying to be quiet, but even from inside his car - tinted windows only cracked slightly - he could hear your words to Hyun-Woo. You're angry, rightfully so, now having to go into your savings to get the man out of jail.

It wasn't the first time Jungkook has followed you - to which you never noticed. He couldn't answer his own question when he'd ask himself why he was invested in you. He'd tell himself it was because you were Hyun-woo's sister and Hyun-woo was someone who owed him money. It wasn't anything far-fetched - it could be easily paid with a paycheck, yet Hyun-woo didn't have a steady paycheck coming in.

The day you got Hyun-woo out of jail, Jungkook watches as your face twists into one of disappointment - you didn't cry, yet your eyes show immense sadness. The research Jungkook did of Hyun-woo was that the man had gone through something to turn to drugs - his drugs no less. You were the youngest of five children and Hyun-woo was once a hero in your eyes - yet you never gave up on him.

Jungkook kept his eyes on you as you and Hyun-woo went to a local diner for breakfast, even after you wasted all of your savings to bail the man out of jail. Jungkook has a clear view of you and Hyun-woo eating - the older man sculfing down an insane amount and all you could do was laugh.

Maybe that's why Jungkook decided he wanted that - you. He wanted someone who didn't give up easily. No matter how many times Hyun-woo would promise you that he was done doing these drugs, the older man always found a way into his office with the amount of money needed for a week supply of high.

Jungkook was never the one to sell to any junkie off the street - but Hyun-woo was different. This man was once the man that owed him money and was shorting his men each visit. Jungkook had to take matters into his own hands and use whatever he needed as leverage. He would consider Hyun-woo lucky that he had a large family who all had children to go home to at the end of the night - all accept you.

But Jungkook never harmed women - as long as he watched you go to and from work and visit your family, his mind was never adament on "hurting" you. You were already a woman hurting - working long hours and chasing after your elder brother to ensure he wasn't either thrown in jail or dead. But you never gave up on Hyun-woo - not even after time and time he would disappoint you and go back to his old ways.

And Hyun-woo went back to his old ways, now sitting in Jungkook's office.

Jungkook leans forward at his desk. He's holding the small bag of white powder as he flickers it in front of the man's eyes. Hyun-woo visibly stiffens, his eyes following the small bag of cocaine.

Jungkook removes said cocaine from the small bag and onto his desk. He reaches into his pocket to grasp his wallet. He takes out his card - a random credit card - and begins to line up the cocaine. "Do you want to try?" he asks Hyun-woo, only glancing up once he was done lining the cocaine.

"I-I don't have money-"

"I didn't ask you that." Jungkook hisses. "I asked," Jungkook leans back into his chair. "did you want to try the product?"

Hyun-woo gulps. Yes, he did. Yet he couldn't. He was in an insane amount of debt that he owed to Jungkook spanning for months. The drugs Jungkook contained were like no other - powerful and pure, but expensive. The first couple occasions in which he bought from Jungkook (not directly, Jungkook was no dealer - he had men for that), he was able to pay it back in full. Yet, he grew restless with the drugs and the high it gave him - it was becoming something he couldn't live without.

Hyun-woo found himself having to steal just to make up the money back to Jungkook - and to just borrow more drugs. It was a constant rotation that ensured he'd never be out of debt when it came to Jungkook and Bangtan in general.

"Okay." Hyun-woo murmurs in defeat.

Jungkook watches as Hyun-woo snorts the cocaine, his mind on you and how disappointed you'd be right now if you were here. While you worked hard to pay your bills and attempted to save what little money you had - Hyun-woo was sitting here getting high off of his product. It was a shame, really, how naive of you to think that Hyun-woo would stop just because you asked him to. The man was far gone, no longer being the man you knew of him when you were a child - and it wasn't your fault.

"Do you have any family?" Jungkook suddenly asks - but he already knows.

Hyun-woo clears his throat, pupils dilated. "Y-Yes."

Jungkook caught onto the look in Hyun-woo's eyes - the look of disappointment in one self.

"Are they proud of you?"

Hyun-woo scoffs. Jungkook never cared to get personal with anyone. Hyun-woo was brought into his office and expected to leave on a warning. The warning being his thumb cut off until he got his money - failure to do so would result in him leaving the office dead the next time. Yet, he couldn't do that - not to Hyun-woo. He had plans for the man and death was not an option.

"I failed all of them." Hyun-woo shrugs. The high's getting to him and he's rambling as if Jungkook's an old friend. "Y/N is the only one who speaks to me and even she can't look at me without being ashamed." Hyun-woo sniffles, his nose itching from the powerful substance, while leaning back. "She works so hard. Too hard."

You do, Jungkook thinks, but not for long.

"Is she the one that's going to pay me my money?" Jungkook crosses his arms. He knows his answer already - Hyun-woo stole from you before, but that didn't mean it was his first option. He started by stealing from others first, breaking into homes to find whatever he could to pawn for cash.

Hyun-woo shakes her head. "N-No. I can pay for it." he insists. "I don't want her involved in this. She...She's not like me."

Jungkook know's this - you aren't like Hyun-woo.

"You said she is the only one who speaks with you?"

Hyun-woo nods. "Y/N isn't a quitter. She should've gave up on me long ago."

Jungkook clicks his tongue. You weren't a quitter - and that would be difficult for him to break. You were stubborn and far too dependant on yourself, yet Jungkook had dealt with worse.

"Here," Jungkook places a few small bags of cocaine in front of Hyun-woo. "it seem's like you need it."

"I can't take this." Hyun-woo protests. He's deep into debt and Jungkook never gave product for free.

"Sure you can." Jungkook chuckles. "You have a week to get my money back. You can leave my office, Hyun-woo."

"There should be no secrets anymore if the marriage is going to work." Ren - a therapist that's been working with Bangtan for years - speaks to Jungkook and you. "Do you want the marriage to work, Y/N? Jungkook?"

"Yes." Jungkook answers without a thought. He glances at you. "I do."

You nod your head slowly. "As do I." you responded.

It wasn't a lie - even after a year of having Jin-Seon and being back with Jungkook, you concluded that you'll never be rid of him - not while Jin-Seon binded the two of you together. It was easier to give into the relationship instead of running and denying Jungkook. You were glad that Jungkook now wasn't the same nearly two years ago - even if Jungkook was more lenient with you.

Jungkook now takes things slow, not trying to push you too hard into anything. It was only recently that Jungkook and you slept in the same bed together - starting because Jin-Seon cried until the two of you hugged him close. Jin-Seon's bed was large for him - tiny for two grown adults, but the two of you made it work. Now Jungkook and you decided to sleep in the same bed - back into his large bedroom - and Jin-Seon climbs into the bed to sleep between the two of you.

"Y/N. What do you think of Jungkook as a father?" asks Ren.

You're taken aback by the question, but respond nonetheless. "He's an amazing father." your response was low, but you meant every word of it. "Jin-Seon loves him so much. He...always calls for him when he isn't home."

It brings a smile on Jungkook's lips to hear you say those words. It makes his heart flutter even thinking about his son calling for him. It was difficult being away from Jin-Seon - especially when he woke up to nearly falling off the bed while Jin-Seon and you were sleeping peacefully in the middle. It was times like that he savored - waking up to his wife and son.

"Jungkook? What about you?" Ren turns her eyes to Jungkook. "What do you think of Y/N as a mother?"

"She's incredible." Jungkook doesn't miss a beat. "It comes naturally...her love for Jin-Seon. I love watching the two of them - even if they're not doing anything. Just knowing they're happy makes me happy."

Jungkook catches your eyes but doesn't hold it. He's embarrassed slightly - you and him have been coming to Ren for a while now in hopes of fixing your marriage (organically). Talking about his feelings was never something he was good at, but it was refreshing.

"I'm glad the two of you are coming to terms with one another." Ren places her hands in her lap. "Are there any secrets the two of you wish to share?"

You shake your head. There wasn't a way for you to have secrets from someone like Jungkook. The only one you could say was you being pregnant, yet he found you just as Jin-Seon was born.

"Yes." Jungkook murmurs and the room feels as though it's closing in on the two of you.

"Is it something that's going to make me look at you differently?" you question without looking his way. "If so I'll rather you keep it to yourself."

What you didn't know wouldn't hurt you. Whatever secret Jungkook had you didn't wish for it to come between you and him. You were finally starting to trust him again - as a husband and a father. Jungkook allowed you freedom (along with his men if he wasn't available) and in return you gave a little bit of yourself. You'd rather be left in the dark then return to the way you were a year prior.

"I found your birth control." Jungkook swallows. "I changed them to placebo pills."

You inhale.

"I tracked your periods and ovulation cycles. Ever since...we have become intimate. Before Greece." Jungkook doesn't look your way - he's unsure how you'd react to his confession. "I know Eun-Young gave them to you. She's the only one who could've."

Jungkook never confronted Eun-Young or his brother, it was best that he solved the problem himself. Eun-Young didn't have the privileges you had and the last thing he wanted was for his brother to go overboard in punishing her.

You suppose now you got your answer on how you got pregnant while on the pill. You snort loudly, shaking your head. The sadness you felt that day taking the pregnancy test is a feeling you'd never forget - the depressive thoughts conjuring in your mind soon after.

"I want the two of you to speak alone. I'll be right outside for about five minutes." Ren excuses herself.

Once the door closes, Jungkook turns to you. Your expression is unreadable, but Jungkook doesn't stop. "I shouldn't have done it and it was selfish of me to do that. I...if I can take everything I've done to you back I would. I-"

"It gave us Jin-Seon." you interrupt him. You finally catch his eyes - swimming in a sea of regret and guilt. "As unhappy as I was early on in my pregnancy..." you try to find the correct words. It was complicated to think back on your life and how you felt - but there shouldn't be anymore secrets. "...I couldn't imagine my life without Jin-Seon."

"I can't imagine a life without both of you." Jungkook comes closer to you. He left you space on the couch as he always did, but now he takes your hand in his.

You're stunned. Jungkook's hands are warm and his thumb gently strokes your hands. It was weird being sentient with him. Jungkook and you were once so affectionate prior to having Jin-Seon and dealing with the wedding - yet it changed after you came back to him. He didn't rush anything with you - always saying he loved you and never expected you to say the words back. When he hugged you, he always made sure to ask for your permission first and never overstepped any boundaries.

"Do you remember what I told you in Greece?" Jungkook tilts his head, eyes scanning your reaction. "I promised that nothing would ever happen to you or our children."

You did remember - faintly. It was the night you insisted on him cumming inside of you - ironically enough.

"I promised that I'll always protect you and our children. I'll always protect you and Jin-Seon." Jungkook squeezes your hand gently. "He was conceived that same night. Out of love, Y/N. I know you don't love me and I'm alright with that. But we made Jin-Seon out of love, didn't we?"

As creepy as it was, Jungkook had always tracked your periods. Realizing Jin-Seon's existence had Jungkook calculating the months you've been pregnant back to the night in Greece - that wasn't the bedding ceremony he wished he didn't participate in.

Jungkook was in a dark place while you were gone that he only blames himself now when he thinks back to it. Days of hating you for leaving him, turned into delusion - that you'd come back on your own free will. He distanced himself from his Hyung's and only turned to drinking as a way to cope with your absence. He had no real desire for any of the women at the Brothel unless he was intoxicated, his mind telling him that he was being intimate with you. But, it never lasted long - they didn't moan the way you did or touch him the same. They weren't you - and even he wishes he could retract the harsh treatment he displayed towards them.

"Yes." you nod. It was distressing to think of your feelings towards Jungkook. You wanted to hate him for what he forced you into, but you couldn't. He didn't lock you away in a dungeon and forced you to do anything. He never threatened your family and you're forever grateful that he assisted them - even after you left.

A knock sounds on the door and Jungkook releases one of your hands, only holding one. It does so to see if you'd remove your hand from his, and when you don't he decides it was safe to hold you.

"Can I come in?" Ren questions, poking her head in. She gives you and Jungkook a warm smile, glancing at your connected hands. As long as she worked with Jungkook - since he was a child at the age of 13 - it was heartfelt to see the man grown into his own person and not the man his father wanted him to be.

Ren takes a seat at her desk. "I assume the two of you talked?"

You and Jungkook nodded.

"I'm glad to see this." Ren admits. "Though I am not certain of Jungkook's past actions..." Ren glances at the man. "...I can say he is changing for the better. Not only for himself, but for you and your son."

You believed Ren.

"Before we wrap today's session up. I feel as though the two of you should experience normal couple activities."

"What do you mean?" Jungkook tilts his head.

"Y/N and you never had the chance to become a couple. It was thrusted into her, correct?"

Jungkook nods nerevously, glancing at you.

"And now you two are parents and live, breathe, sleep Jin-Seon. That's how it's supposed to be." Ren assures, not wanting to offend both young parents. "However, maybe just a night with just you and Y/N alone. You two can truly talk to one another."

"Like a date?" you inquire. "I don't think we've ever been on one."

Jungkook goes to protest, but stops himself. He tries to rack his brain for all the activities you and him had done - and yet he couldn't find any. You accompanied him to many dinner parties with the rest of his Hyungs prior to Jin-Seon - and even after. You and him ate out occassionally, yet Jin-Seon was always by your side and though neither of you ever minded, it wasn't a date.

Jungkook licks his lips - now he felt shitty.

"Like a date." Ren nods, she holds back laughter. A date was foreign to the two of you - and you were already married with a child. "You're young and still overly attractive. Live life - I promise Jin-Seon isn't going to be harmed if you left for one night."

Jungkook turns to look at you, catching your eyes.

"It won't be easy. By what you tell me, he's attached to you by the hip." Ren leans back into her chair. "But he's a baby and no matter how young, children can feel whatever their parents feel. If he senses that you two aren't loving one another, as he grows, he'll begin to blame himself."

Jungkook grips your hand at this. He never wants Jin-Seon to feel what he's felt as a child - wondering if his father ever loved his mother. He could never look at his father the same way - even at a young age - after he's physically, mentally and verbally assaulted his mother.

"Okay." you nod, gently squeezing Jungkooks hand.

"Okay." Jungkook repeats your word, offering the same nod. He glances your way, ears flushing red. "Y/N will you go on a date with me?"

"You're embarrassing." You snort and this causes Ren to laugh, yet you couldn't stop your heart from beating out your chest.

"Who is she?" asks Taehyung as his gloved hands open your laptop screen. It lights up and music plays from it - you must've been in a rush this morning.

"Just some girl." Jungkook responds. He glances around your apartment - it was small, but you were one person. You were one to appreciate pictures - there were many littering your walls. The home appeared cozy - you had little knick knacks here and there as decoration and a few candles, some used.

Taehyung snickers. "You wouldn't be asking me to hack into her devices if she was just some girl." the man says, clicking on the keys of your laptop.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. He doesn't have to explain anything to Taehyung - especially when his work with you wasn't done. Hyun-woo had just been arrested not long ago and he was sure you were going through it - your savings money to bail his out of jail down the drain.

"Is this girl the one you've been following?" Taehyung questions. "I'm almost done transfering."

"You're asking a lot of questions, Hyung." Jungkook retorts. He looks at his watch - you'll be home in another hour. It was Thursday and on Thursdays you don't stay late at work - you usually came home and relaxed before your double shift the following day.

"Of course I am." Taehyung snickers. "My dongsaeng never shows interest in women if it isn't a quick fuck." Taehyung closes your laptop. He stands straighter to eye Jungkook. "I know she isn't a quick fuck."

Taehyung watches Jungkook's reaction. "You're right." Jungkook nods. "I never fucked her."

"Oh?" Taehyung's amused now. "She must be special." Taehyung glances around the apartment. It was hard trying to find who this girl was - the pictures littering the walls had different faces in each. "What does she look like?"

"Does it matter?" Jungkook steps in Taehyung's line of vision. "We need to go. She'll be home soon."

Taehyung snorts. "You know when she comes home? You must really like her."

Taehyung was only teasing. It was refreshing to see Jungkook interested in a woman - he was the youngest and went through a phase with Jungkook fucking anything that was willing. He didn't need to find one woman to settle down with - Jimin had two. Still, he was young and only 24 years old. No 24 year old neccessarily needs to settle down and get married, yet their line of business never guaranteed you'd live another day.

Jungkook makes his way towards his own car and gets inside. He looks through his phone - the new one Taehyung has programmed. He was able to see just what was on your phone - pictures, emails, messages and all. He first goes through your search history in hopes to find what exactly you enjoyed. He didn't find much - only a few bills that were past due. Your electric was due to be disconnected soon if you didn't pay it - you got paid on Tuesdays, meaning you'd be without electric for days before you can pay it.

Jungkook uses his credit card to pay for the past due bills and exits the internet. He goes through your pictures - you're cute. You take a lot of selfies that you never post anywhere, your social media being dry as can be. You have a few memes saved, some full body pictures that he stares at for too long and some pictures of your family members - mainly children.

Jungkook scowers your phone and reaches your messages. You didn't have a lot of friends - if he can call them that. He would call them acquaintances. You don't hang out with anyone special - nor were you dating anyone. Jungkook would've known, but you being as introverted as you were was good. He'd even say great. It made everything he was planning easier. An introverted person didn't have people looking for them.

Jungkook leans back into his seat and goes through your pictures again opening and closing different folders and albums - at this point he was just being intrusive. He comes across a hidden folder and it's as if he hit the jackpot.

You were introverted, yes, but that didn't mean you were overly shy. These pictures he found must've been ones you kept to yourself - you in just your underwear posing for the camera, some of your body naked, others in lingerie. It makes Jungkook's throat dry and he understands that this was the ultimate invasion of privacy. However, he doesn't stop himself from scrolling and zooming in on pictures.

Your skin is soft - it has to be. The curves in your body were like a work of art and Jungkook regrets unbuttoning his jeans and stroking himself to your pictures. He's glad his windows were tinted and no one could see just how perverted he was being.

Jungkook's panting - hands gripping his cock as his eyes trail the way your breast appears in the selfie you took. It wasn't much - yet he could see the thin line of yor underwear peaking through the bottom of it, and it was enough for him to imagine the way your ass was - how soft it cold be, how gripable it was and the sound it'd make if he was fucking into you...

The disgust came instantly after Jungkook cums into his hands. He wasn't some teenager seeing a naked woman for the first time, yet he acted out of pure lust. He turns off the phone and throws it into the passenger seat and rummages through the glove department to find a napkin to wipe his hands. Just as he's done, his phone begins to ring from his suit pocket.

"Speak." Jungkook sighs into his phone as he answers it.

"Jeon-ssi." the deep voice of Seung-hyun says over the phone. "It's done."

"Is it?" Jungkook starts his car. "Did you touch her?"

"No." Seung-hyun insists. "She was frightened, however."

Of course you were frightened having men in dark suits come to your work place and look for your brother. It was bound to happen, though. You were lucky that Hyun-woo had got his product from Bangtan - they were less vicious than most. Jungkook had no intentions of harming you or your family members. He'd admit that Sehun was once a person of interest being Hyun-woo's younger brother - but witnessing the man play in his yard with both of his sons has Jungkook going against his decision.

"Alright." Jungkook pulls out and begins to drive. "Tonight I want you and Daesung to go to her home. I've sent you the address already. Bring Ji-Yong with you." Jungkook clenches the steering wheel. "Scare her. Break anything that doesn't appear personal. Don't harm any of her pictures or devices - and don't put your hands on her either."

"Yes, Jeon-ssi." Seung-hyun responds. "Is there anything else you need for us to do?"

"Yes. Inform her of Hyun-woo's debt and tell her she has a week to come up with the debt amount."

Hoseok hands Jin-Seon his phone and the boy takes it without a second thought. Jimin frowns when he drops the teddy bear he has given him not even five minutes prior. He sends a glare at Hoseok who now has Jin-Seon sitting in his lap and the boy happily opens and closes apps.

Jungkook had called all 6 of his Hyungs for help - claiming it was an emergency. The emergency being that one of them needed to babysit Jin-Seon for a few hours while he and you went on a date.

Jin was the first to come and soon gave up. He tried to take Jin-Seon - who was seated in Jungkook's lap - but the boy did nothing but scream and squirm in his arms. Namjoon came soon after and eased his way closer to Jin-Seon, but he does nothing but clench Jungkook's shirt.

Yoongi manages to hold Jin-Seon, lightly bouncing him on his leg until you walked in to check on him - which Jin-Seon now realized he'd rather be with both parents and not the uncles he pretends to not know.

Taehyung is successful in distracting Jin-Seon - he brings his son who's only about three. Jin-Seon follows around the older boy but as soon as Jungkook and you attempt to make a run for it, Jin-Seon is running after the two of you and whimpers.

"Do you wanna come with me?" Hoseok coos, wrapping Jin-Seon into a hug.

"Cheater." Jimin huffs, crossing his arms.

Jin-Seon's eyes lift and he trails them around. The boy begins to cry and squirm out of Hoseok's arms when he doesn't see the familiar faces of his parents - who are halfway out the door when he screams. He throws Hoseok's phone roughly onto the marble floor - receiving a laugh from Jimin - and attempts to run around to look for the two of you.

"Maybe you two should just go and we'll all just stay with him." Yoongi suggests. He's never met a child so attached to their parents and it was visible that Jin-Seon would never allow you and Jungkook to leave his side.

Jungkook pokes his head into the sitting room and feels terrible at his distressed son. Jin-Seon comes running as fast as his legs could and clenches Jungkook's pants. He turns back to look at his uncles and cries louder.

"You'd think we're strangers the way he's crying." Jin shakes his head. He was his father's son - Jungkook was just as dramatic when he was young.

"He's terrified." Taehyung brings his own son into his lap as he sits down. "Remember when Kookie was terrified of balloons when he was that age?"

Jungkook picks up Jin-Seon and sends a glare towards Taehyung.

"And Joon and Hobi would always shove them in his face? How could I forget?" Jin laughs aloud.

"Funny." Jungkook says dryly. "You all are useless."

"We can put him to bed a little early." you suggest. You come behind Jungkook and smile at Jin-Seon. He has his head resting on Jungkook's shoulder and refuses to look at the men in his home.

Jimin leans back. "As beautiful as always, Y/N." he smiles to you and you return it nervously.

"No wonder Jin-Seon doesn't like you. You flirt with his mother." Taehyung furrows a brow.

"As if he doesn't have two wives already." Namjoon jokes.

Jungkook's jaw clenches but he chooses to ignore his Hyungs. He turns to go down the hall to the bedroom.

"Yoongi-ah," Jin claps his hands. "let's cook."

"For what?" Yoongi groans. He leans back lazily.

"That spoiled child is never going to let his parents leave the home without him." Namjoon snorts. "It's like a radar goes off in his head when they're a foot out the door."

"Are you suggesting we bring the date to them?" Jimin tilts his head. "How kind of us."

"Run a criminal empire during the day and organize dates at night." Taehyung sighs and stands. "You wanna help us cook?" he leans down to his son.

"You're not cooking." Jin scoffs. "Go set up the table."

Jin-Seon still doesn't prefer to sleep in his own bed - doesn't matter if the walls are decorated with many different super heroes he enjoys watching (even if he doesn't know what's going on), he has a large twin size bed to himself with the softest sheets and stuff animals, a large tv hanging from the wall with a mood lamp that changes colors and even sings soft lullybies. Not including the toys you and Jungkook bought for him plus gifts - it was truly like a play palace that you'd without a doubt sleep in - Jin-Seon couldn't be bothered with it.

Jungkook opens the door and allows you to walk through first. You remove your heels and make your way towards the bed. The dress you wore rises up as you lay down and Jungkook peaks - just a little - at the exposed flesh of your inner thigh. But, neither of you were here for that. Jin-Seon places himself in the middle once Jungkook lies down.

You quietly laugh at your son. He knew just what to do to get his way and each time Jungkook and you fallen victim to such behavior.

Jin-Seon snuggles closer to you, back against your chest. His hand reaches out for Jungkook, who comes closer to him. Jin-Seon's tiny hand places themselves on Jungkook's chest and he closes his eyes.

"I don't think we're going to make those reservations." Jungkook murmur after a while. Jin-Seon's grip on his dress shirt loosens.

"I know." you snuggle into Jin-Seon's hair and inhale. "It's hard being away from him."

"It is." Jungkook agrees.

Jin-Seon could never annoy him with his attachment to Jungkook. He was just as attached to his son (and you) as his son was to him. It's an act he wishes he could have experienced with his own father - yet he doesn't dwell on the lack of relationship with the man. He was abusive to not only his mother, but his children. He could never harm you - in general - but especially not in the view of his son.

"It feels nice." Jungkook murmurs. His finger gently rubs Jin-Seon's cheeks. "Knowing that he loves us so much. I hope it never fades."

"As long as we love him just as much," your hand rubs Jin-Seon's hair softly. "it never will. Before we know it he'll be a moody teenager."

Jungkook groans. "I dread that happening. I was terrible." he shakes his head at the memory. "I can't wait when he starts school and joins clubs. I never got the chance to."

"Why not?" you murmur a response, still rubbing Jin-Seon's hair.

Jungkook removes his finger from Jin-Seon's cheek. "My father." was his only response and you understand it completely. "If it didn't concern the business he wasn't interested in it."

You listen to Jungkook speak - getting more insight to his childhood has you comprehending the man he became because of it.

"My mother always came to whatever I was interested in at the time." Jungkook continues. "Yet, a boy always wants his father there, too. I dropped out of many things because he said it was a nuisance. I realized to get my father to notice me was become involved with Bangtan much earlier than intended."

You swallow the truth. Your mind knows that Jin-Seon is expected to do the same - to become the same as Jungkook and the rest of them. You would eventually have no say in it - no matter how much it makes your heart ache.

"He told me he was proud of me for the first time when I shot a man right in the head. He was tied up and gagged and one of my fathers rivals." Jungkook's words are emotionless but your eyes widen at them, a gasp releasing from your lips. "I threw up afterwards. I was only 10." Jungkook snickers - not because it's funny, but the fact that his father showed actual interest in his was when he held a gun in his hands.

You're stunned - too much to respond. It makes you hold Jin-Seon closer to you.

"My father never dealt drugs on the street, he had men for that. All of the elites in Bangtan did - yet he insisted I learn how to count products in case one of my men shorted me. I got off of cocaine for the first time at the age of 13 - by accident. I thought I was going to die." Jungkook lets out a humorous laugh.

"I - that's not funny!" you hiss lowly to him. You're unsure how to process all of this new information.

"Laughing is a coping mechanism." Jungkook leans closer and presses a kiss onto Jin-Seon's forehead. "I've watched my father abuse my mother for years before I've done something about it."

You process his words, eyes narrowing at him. You're afraid to ask what he means, but deep down Jungkook recognizes the glint in your eyes. You know what he's saying - just afraid to ask further detail.

"I was done sitting around allowing my father to hurt my mother."

"You don't have to tell me." you quickly quip. You're holding onto Jin-Seon close to you - so close that you're surprised he hasn't stirred awake.

"I don't want there to be any secrets with us." Jungkook comes closer to you. He's reaching to see how far you're willing to let him touch you. He wraps his arm around you, Jin-Seon snuggling into his chest. "I told you my father has died but I didn't tell you that I killed him."

You're face to face with Jungkook, Jin-Seon sleeping soundly between the two of you.

"I shot him with the gun he gifted me on my 15th birthday." Jungkook's hand lift to touch your cheek - you don't flinch like he initially expected. "I'd want Jin-Seon to do the same."

You knit your brows.

"Don't look like that." Jungkook chuckles. "I'm not saying I want to die by his hands." Jungkook's thumb rubs your cheek. He's glad to have you and Jin-Seon so close to him - it makes his heart feel warm. "What I am saying, if I ever become my father and abuse my wife and son," Jungkook doesn't blink, dark eyes staring into you. "I want our son to protect you. Even if it's from me."

Jungkook has eyes on you at all times - mostly his own. It's unfortunate that you have to sell your belongings to get your own brother out of debt - but of course you do it.

Jungkook admires you. He knows you've cried for hours - he sees so on the camera he's hacked onto your laptop and phone. Yet, you refuse to dwell on your unlucky life now. You got to work quickly - selling your belongings in hopes of getting any amount of money for them. You stressed yourself out with work - staying long past your time to clock out.

You'd never make up for the price. Jungkook has assured that you'd never would - which is why he set such a high amount. Hyun-woo owed him money, however not the price he set.

Was it sadistic? To watch idly as you sold your belongings and overworked yourself? Maybe - yet this was part of his plan to have you. Eventually you'd have to give up and give into him.

First, he had to tempt you into joining the Underground Black Market by sending suggestive ads to your devices. All you had to do now was take the hint - and you did.

The Underground Black Market wasn't for outsiders or the public. It was an organization strictly for mafia families - Bangtan being heavily invested into it. Those around the world participated in said Black Market - Jungkook himself travelled from Thailand all the way to Mexico for said Black Markets.

Jungkook himself is unsure what you have to sell - but whatever it was, he was bringing an insane amount of cash to buy it. Even if yo got your ass on the stage and sold a gallon of milk - as comical as it could be - he'd buy it. It was all apart of his plan, after all.

"Knock, knock,"

Jungkook glances upwards and catches eyes with Jimin who walks right into his office. Jungkook leans forward, elbows on his desk. "Yes?"

"Is that how you greet people?" Jimin rolls his eyes.

"I'm busy." Jungkook glances away from Jimin and back down to his phone.

"Stalking that little girl?" Jimin scoffs. He sits down across from Jungkook and crosses his legs. "Is she cute?"

Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"She must be if you're doing all of this mess." Jimin giggles. "Have you fucked her?"

"Shut up." Jungkook groans, throwing the phone onto the table. "That's private."

Jimin is taken aback, but soon he's sporting a wide smile. "Oh." he hums.

"Oh?" Jungkook snaps his head to Jimin to furrow a brow. "What the hell do you mean 'Oh'?"

"You never touched her." Jimin's tone comes out teasingly. "You would've told me if you did."

"I'm not having this conversation." Jungkook's ears are turning red. "I have somewhere to be in an hour."

"This late?" Jimin questions. "Black Market this year doesn't seem promising."

How wrong Jimin was. It was very promising.

Jimin had insisted on accompanying Jungkook to the Black Market event. They sat front and center and Jimin fought back dozing off one too many times. He had nothing to buy and by the looks of it, neither did Jungkook.

The last category is what always catches any man's attention - the sex. Women always found their way to these in hopes of getting into the beds of powerful men. Jimin always made his attention conscious at this time - in case there were any women needed for the Brothel; for a price, of course.

Jungkook eyes catches you and his heart's pumping outside his chest. He feels himself stiffened and his mouth loses any moisture. You were beautiful - a true sight to behold. You appeared frightened to walk on stage in nothing but lingerie - cheap, he can tell, but enough to make him want you right then and there. You're nervous and by your facial features he notes you're uncomfortable to be in front of so many men.

You were selling sex; this is how desperate you've come to be to pay of Hyun-woo's debt.

You were right where Jungkook wanted (and needed) you to be.

Jimin snorts. "64 million won for some pussy?" he shakes his head. He was looking (respectfully) into looking if you were willing to be apart of the Brothel - you had the perfect fit, just needed a little bit more confidence.

""I'm not just selling sex." you speak into the microphone, the sea of people watching you making your stomach feel uneasy. "I'm selling my virginity."

Jimin widened his eyes - now that was different. A virgin in a sea of powerful men with a superiority complex - more hands went up at the new fact. "She's cute." Jimin whispers to Jungkook. "Should I-"

"No." Jungkook hisses.

Jimin pouts his lips, but decides to sit this one out.

One man offered 64 million straight out, his old shaky voice cracking. You were visibly disgusted, but kept your smile on your lips - Jungkook snorts. Another man shouted 65, the next 70.

Clearing his throat, Jungkook loudly declares, "400 million won."

Jimin snaps his head to Jungkook with wide eyes, then back at you. A light bulb flashes above his head and he's giggling to himself.

"Cash." Jungkook steps forward, eyes locking with you.

"Is this the girl you're-"

"Not now." Jungkook doesn't break eye contact with you.

"Sold!" the host says, head shaking in disbelief at the amount of money you were about to obtain for your virginity. You watch Jungkook make his way to the stage, all the while he's also watching you. You're captivated by him, completely stunned - he can tell. Maybe it was because of how young he was unlike the other men who want nothing but to take advantage of your innoncence.

Jungkook grasps your jacket and places it upon your shoulder. He pushes you gentle towards the left side of the stage and down the small stairs. The two of you needed to talk about the new found contract you're in.

You two had a lot to talk about. You marveled at the amount of cash he takes out of the black bag - the exact amount you needed to get Hyun-woo out of debt. He was serious about paying you for your time - at least that's what he wants you to believe. 64 million won was nothing but pocket change to him and handing it over to you wasn't anything he'd think twice about.

Your fidgeting doesn't go unnoticed - you were intimidated. You were confused, and rightfully so. He was not a man that needed to buy pussy - he had pussy all around him. hat intrigued him more about you was not that you were selling sex - but selling your virginity for your brother's debt. It makes something in him want you more now - how selfless you were to help the ones you love.

"Before we...make out a contract. Why are you doing this?" Jungkook asks you. He has taken you to his car, a black mercedes with dark tinted windows. You two sit in the back while one of his men drives the two of you - Jimin long gone.

"I need the money." you admit. He knows.

"64 million won is a lot of money to need." Jungkook chuckles a response. "College? Mortage?" He watches your eyes glance around shyly.

"My brother's in debt." you say. Jungkook feigns ignorance.

Jungkook listens to you go into detail about everything that transpires. You were utterly exhausted - overworking yourself to pay your bills and deal with Hyun-woo's debt. You are nearing tears when you tell him of his men destroying your house and only allowing you a week to conjure the debt money - Jungkook feels a sting in his heart at your words and admission of how scared you were. You thought they'd come to kill you, and now Jungkook feels terrible about putting you in that position.

"I've sold nearly everything I could to pay off his debts." Jungkook hears the words come from your lips. "All I have left is my dignity and my virginity." you snicker.

"Do you hate him?" Jungkook questions. "For...doing this to you?"

Jungkook waits as you think a response, but it comes quicker than he expects.

"No." you shake your head. "I can never hate Hyun-woo. He's my brother."

"He got you into this mess." Jungkook states. "You just admitted to being scared for your life."

You nod at him, and Jungkook feels his heart tighten when you give him a smile - a sad one - but a smile nonetheless. "I'd never give up on the ones I love."

The rest of the car ride remained in silence. Jungkook thinks of your words - how vulnerable you were left taking care of Hyun-woo. However, he understands you're the perfect woman for him, now more than ever. You're determination to get Hyun-woo out of debt with what little you have and Jungkook's positive that the woman he needs is a woman like you.

"Here," Jungkook hands you a bag with the exact amount. "64 million won."

Your eyes widen.

"I'll come back to give you the rest." Jungkook ensures.

"I-I...you don't need me to do anything for you now?" you ask. You're so pure and it's killing him. Just the thought of you doing anything for him in the car is enough to make his pants feel clasphobic. "I only need 64 million won - no more. You can come in and-"

Jungkook takes a deep breath. "I'll be back." Jungkook nods. "Pay your brothers debts."

You get out of the car and turn to him. You bow. "Thank you." you murmur. You lift yourself up to look at him, a soft grin on your lips. "I promise to be the best I can be for you."

Jungkook doesn't dount that, he licks his lips and watches as you stroll into your home.

You jolt awake at the sound of knocking on the door, as does Jungkook. He checks on Jin-Seon before gently disconnecting himself from his son and you. You watch groggily as Jungkook makes his way to the bedroom. He opens it and frowns at the wide smiles of Jimin and Taehyung.

"Kookie!" Taehyung quietly cheers. "Han-jae's asleep in Jin-Seon's room."

"That's fine." Jungkook yawns. "At least someone is."

"But," Jimin claps his hands together - again, quietly to not wake Jin-Seon. "we need you and Y/N to come with us. It's important."

Jungkook turns to see you already looking towards them. Jungkook sighs. "She's resting with Jin-Seon. Is it actually important or are you-"

"Can you stop bitching and come with us?" Taehyung snaps. "Shit."

"Fuck off." Jungkook closes the door and Taehyung has the urge to kick it down, but for his nephew's sake he doesn't.

Jungkook makes his way towards your side. He looks down at you just as you untangle yourself from Jin-Seon. "What do you think they need?" you ask.

"Not sure." Jungkook leans down and puts a hand on Jin-Seon's head. "We can go check it out if you're not tired. If you are I'll go alone."

You shake your head. "I'll go." you give Jin-Seon a quick peck on his forehead.

Jungkook follows you out of the room, silently closing the door. He hears commotion coming from down the hall and already wants to throw everyone out of his home. He turns the corner with you and comes face first to his Hyungs.

"Finally." Yoongi groans.

"You're all still here." Jungkook deadpans. "Why?"

"You're rude." Namjoon crosses. "After everything we did for you."

"All you did was make the table." Hoseok laughs.

"What are you talking about?" Jungkook makes his way towards the kitchen where he smells food.

"Kook-ah!" Jin comes closer. He's wearing an apron around his chest. "And Y/N-ie. Welcome to the best resturant Korea can offer you."

You can't stop yourself from smiling. The kitchen had been transformed - where they got the round table, you're unsure, however the chairs come from the large dining area. Theres a white table cloth covering the table - a vase in the middle with an array of flowers. "Did you take these from the garden?" you ask no one in particular.

"Uh..." Hoseok stammers.

"I hope you don't mind. It's too late to get flowers elsewhere." Namjoon scratches the back of his head nervously.

You turn to Jungkook.

"Simps." Jungkook murmurs, but he's flattered none the else. "What'd you cook?"

Jin hurridly grasps the finest china Jungkook owned - which weren't fine in the slighest - and begins serving you two.

"Sit down." Taehyung pushes you and Jungkook towards the table. "There's already appetizers on the table."

"Bread." you giggle, nodding your head. "Amazing appetizers."

Hoseok places two wine and collins glass down. Namjoon has a pitcher of water and pours it into the collins glass while Jimin pours red wine into the wine. Jungkook crosses his arms but he can't hide the satisfied smirk on his lips. "Thanks, maid." he nods to Jimin who gasps.

"I'll let that one slide." Jimin places the wine on the table.

Jin comes with two plates down onto the table before you. Jungkook leans back to release a laugh.

"Samgyeopsal." Jungkook claps his hands. "You all did this just for me? I'm flattered." Jungkook jokes. "And Y/N says us men in our profession can't be simps."

"I stand corrected." you take a sip of your wine. "Thank you for...all of this."

"You two are going to make me cry." Jin pats his heart. "Have fun, tonight. We'll be going."

"You aren't staying?" Jungkook furrows a brow.

"And intrude on your date? No." Hoseok shakes his head.

"Jin-Seon's asleep. Get drunk and have fun." Jimin winks his eyes aggressively. "Extra fun."

"The type of fun that makes babies." Taehyung pipes in.

"Maybe Jin-Seon wouldn't be such a cockblock if he had someone to play with." Yoongi jokes, and laughs erupt throghout the kitchen.

Jungkook's flushing, as are you. But you aren't upset with their jokes - it was thoughtful of them to do this for you and Jungkook.

"I'll go get Han-jae." Taehyung begins, but you shake your head.

"No, leave him." you insist. "You can get him tomorrow afternoon. He's already asleep."

Jungkook nods. "Jin-Seon and him would be happy to play together."

Taehyung claps his hands. "It's settled then. No taking it back."

Soon it's just you and Jungkook. It's quiet as you both eat, only making small talk. Jungkook's flattered that he had the chance to be with you - not the date he expected, but the date he'd remember the most.

"You look beautiful." Jungkook takes a sip of his water.

You snort. "Don't lie to me. I have bed hair and it probably marks all over my face from sleeping."

"I'd never lie to you about how I feel." Jungkook's eyes burn holes into you. "You're beautiful."

You look away. "Thank you."

Jungkook takes a bite of the pork belly. "Thank you for being my wife."

"You're becoming the so called simp you called Namjoon and Hoseok." you tease.

"I'll always be a simp for you." Jungkook lifts the wine glass in salute. "My beautiful wife."

"Are you already tipsy?"

"Maybe." Jungkook shrugs. "Thank you for giving me Jin-Seon." Jungkook gulps down the rest of his wine.

"Drink some water. A glass of wine shouldn't be getting you this hype."

"I don't have to be drunk to shower you with compliments." Jungkook rolls his eyes. "Here," Jungkook grabs the wine to pour some more for the both of you. "A toast to..." Jungkook hums.

"To us." you quip, raising your class to click against his.

Jungkook's lips curl upwards until he's beaming, bunny teeth on display. "To us." he repeats.

Jungkook takes a gulp of his wine, realizing that this date with you would be the date he'd remember until the end of time. It wasn't about how extravagant it was or how much money he spent to fund the date - it was about you and him; together. You smiled at him - a smile that appears genuine, like you wanted to be there. The two of you laughed and joked as if nothing had ever come between you.

"Thank you." Jungkook says again - he had 4 glasses of wine already and he's feeling it.

You're on your third - only taking a sip of it - the food had long finished and now all Jungkook and you had done was drink and laugh - him occasionally sending flirty comments your way. But he couldn't help himself - especially not the way you're dressed. You appeared completely edible now - and he would do anything to taste you again.

"What are you thanking me for now?" you question amused.

"For being my wife." Jungkook shrugs. "For giving birth to our son."

"You already said that."

"Right." Jungkook chuckles. "For...forgiving me. Little by little. Thank you."

"I can't keep spinning you Hye-Jinnie." Jungkook laughs, giving the small girl another spin before placing her on the ground. "But I promise I'll be back."

Hye-Jin frowns, nearly falling from being dizzy. "Do you promise?" she asks, curly strands falling into her eyes.

Namjoon shakes his head, stepping behind his daughter. "If he breaks his promise he has to buy you ice cream."

"The one with cotton candy and sprinkles." Hye-Jin smirks mischeviously at Jungkook who could only laugh.

Hye-Jin makes her way out of Namjoon's office. His daughter was never usually allowed inside, only visiting when she realized Jungkook was over - someone who is considered a "big kid" to play with and also a jungle gym to climb on.

"You're the only parent I know who condones ice cream and candy everyday." Jungkook snorts.

"When you have children you'll understand how difficult it is to say no to them." Namjoon leans against his desk, arms crossed. "Let's talk about why you're really here, Kookie."

Jungkook nods his head. "I need help. More like back-up."

Namjoon waits for Jungkook to continue.

"I can't tell you anything now - I'd rather wait until the rest of us are together." Jungkook glances at Namjoon, waiting for a reaction. Namjoon was one of his Hyungs that wasn't afraid to tell him about himself (he appreciated it at times, sometimes not so much) and he'd rather not hear it.

Namjoon hums. "Does this have something to do with that girl you've been stalking?"

Jungkook snaps his head to Namjoon. "I wouldn't call it stalking." he retorts. "I was-"

"Taehyung says you had him hack her devices." Namjoon interrupts. "Do you know this girl personally or is she just your latest lay?"

"Tell Taehyung he can fuck off." Jungkook hisses. "If you aren't going to help me, Hyung, I'll go to Jin-hyung. Matter of fact - Noona will be better." Jungkook could never forget the way his Hyung's wife freely took down multiple mafia families and had Bangtan become higher than they once were.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. Jungkook was always overly sensitive and overly dramatic. Jin allowed Jungkook to do whatever he wanted without any type of consequences - regardless of how Jungkook acted. When it came to Namjoon's own wife - who is fully capable of doing whatever Jungkook requested without a blink of an eye - but she was a changed woman and he'd rather not have her go back to those days.

"I'll help you in whatever you need." Namjoon states. "Are we taking your car?"

"It's not like you have your own." Jungkook smirks, releasing a loud laugh when Namjoon's face remains stoic.

The ride to wherever Jungkook was taking him was silent. Namjoon notes that whatever Jungkook was thinking, it weighs heavily on his mind. He doesn't understand much of the woman Jungkook was infatuated with, only being told that she was being watched by him almost daily.

It's a weird sight that Namjoon needed to get accustomed to. Jungkook was the last of them to be wed - only using woman for sex and nothing else. He managed to ignore any meeting Bangtan had to offer with him being married and producing a heir - and yes, he was young and had some time, yet tomorrow is never promised in their career choice.

The car stops right in front of an apartment. Namjoon opens the door, a gun on his hip. Jungkook slams the door behind him and strolls towards the first apartment. Namjoon follows behind him and nearly slams into Jungkook when he suddenly stops. "Trust me on this, Hyung." Jungkook murmurs before he turns and slams the door open.

Namjoon draws his gun just as Jungkook does. His eyes land on three men inside the small apartment and one woman - eyes wide with confusion and fear. He recognizes these men - Daesung, Ji-Yong and Seung-hyun, all men who worked for Bangtan and directly under Jungkook.

"What the hell?" Daesung to the intruders, arms raised. His eyes widen in realization. "Jeon-ssi? What are you doing-"

Jungkook pulls the trigger and hits Daesung right on the shoulder. Daesung screams as he hits the floor - another shot rings and Jungkook shoots Daesung through his head. Namjoon is next to shoot Ji-Yong, who's arm raised ready to shoot. Taking Seung-hyun down wasn't an issue. Namjoon eyes the way Jungkook begins to saunter to you, stepping over the dead and bleeding bodies.

Namjoon releases a sigh, taking out his phone. He sends a text to Hoseok with his current location - cleaning up this mess was going to require a specific team of people. Jungkook had some explaining to do - Namjoon didn't like being left in the dark. Jungkook was his brother, and he'd choose him before any of the low class men, however, killing off their men doesn't do anything for them but cause chaos and skepitism.

Namjoon doesn't do anything but watch as you cry on the floor, Jungkook tangling his fingers in your hair and yanking you up. He doesn't like to see your tears and eyes - displaying nothing but pure terror. He wonders how much you know of Jungkook - if you do at all.

"P-Please..." you begged, trying to break away from Jungkook's hands.

Namjoon puts his gun back onto his hip just as Jungkook untangles his hands from your hair and take a step back. "Stop crying." he murmurs. "I'm not going to kill you."

Namjoon holds back a scoff. You're sniffling, and he doesn't blame you. Jungkook and him had come into your home and killed three men - that were extorting you, sure, but Namjoon knows well enough that Jungkook's plan was deeper than what he was telling him.

"That's it." Jungkook nods, a smile on his lips. He reaches out to wipe a tear from your left eye. His hand then caresses your cheek. "I can't believe these cowards left you in such a compromising position."

Namjoon raises his brows. His eyes glance down to the bodies, blood seeping through the hardwood floor and the carpet rug you had near your couch. Jungkook's plan - at least a section of it - was to appear like a hero in your eyes.

You gulp, shaking stiffly.

"Come." Jungkook says.

"W-Where are you taking me?" you cry out when you feel Jungkook grab your shoulders and bring you closer to him. Namjoon sighs - Jungkook could never take no for an answer, or read the room that you were visibly upset. Yet, he couldn't blame the boy, at his age he was possibly the same way in the eyes of his Hyungs. "I-I don't need the money anymore, take it-"

"Hyung, please wait in the car for us." Jungkook tells him.

Namjoon does, not say another word. He closes the door behind him and makes his way back to the car. He sits in the passenger seat and releases a sigh.

"You...fear me." Jungkook says to you. "After I got you out of debt and handled the men who disrespected you?" Jungkook isn't offended, of course. He understands that you have the right to fear him - he barged into your home and murdered three of his men (unbeknownst to you) right in front of your face.

You want to scream and cry, everything at once. You were beyond frightened and you swore if you could piss right now, you would.

You remain still when Jungkook brings himself closer to you. "Let's go home, Y/N." he tells you sternly, the look in his eyes telling you that he wasn't going to say it again. He's glad when you don't fight him, allowing his to wrap his arms around your shoulders and bring you out to the car. He opens the back door, making sure to add the child lock in case you had the idea to jump out.

Jungkook enters the car and begins to drive, his eyes glancing at the rearview mirror to look at you, Your cheks were tear stained and you were shuddering, but Jungkook vows that he'll give you a good life starting now. You wouldn't have to work a day of your life anymore, nor would you have to deal with Hyun-woo's addiction and theft wrapping itself into your life.

Jungkook squeezes the steering wheel. He'll give you the life you and him deserve - together.

Jungkook presses his lips upon yours, hands roaming up up your thighs. He doesn't care that the kitchen's now a mess, the left over food with plates and glasses on the floor. What he does care about is you - touching you, kissing you.

Your breath hitched when your lips are released from his. Jungkook kisses your neck needily, inhaling your sweet scent. It's been too long - so long since he's last touched you. Not since that day nearing two years with the bedding ceremony.

Jungkook couldn't help but nibble against your skin, soon sucking along it. He missed being intimate with you but he only has himselt to blame why it took this long.

"I need to taste you." Jungkook huffs, hands squeezing your thighs. "I need to taste you, Y/N. Let me make you cum again...it's been so long."

You're nodding your head. Maybe it was the wine you and Jungkook had downed that has the both of you needy and horny for one another. Deep down, both of you know this is wrong. You shouldn't be intimate with one another while tipsy.

But it felt too good to stop.

Jungkook's whimpers and dirty talks always got to you. The way he easily wants to pleasure you without anything in return was always a turn on - it's the reason you always wanted him.

"W-What if Jin-Seon wakes up?" you ask, more yourself then him.

Jungkook kisses your collarbone. "He never wakes through the night." and you know this - you're trying your best to resist him, but you can't.

Jungkook's hands push between your legs, swiping along your clothed clit. He shudders, as do you, at the moist touch. He'd longed for you for far too long. He rubs along your clit, giving wet kisses on your collarbone and breast.

"You're so beautiful, Y/N." Jungkook groans painfully. He doesn't stop rubbing your clit, managing to slide your panties to the side to rub harder. He gives quick bites along your breast. "You smell so good and I know you taste just as good."

You flutter your eyes open just as Jungkook enters two of his fingers inside his mouth and releases a moan. You bite your lip, eyes finding Jungkook's. "Let me make you cum, baby." Jungkook pleads.

"Okay." you nod, and without a second thought Jungkook's tugging your panties off.

Jungkook dives right into your pussy, tongue flat against your clit. He's sucking as though he hadn't already eaten, moaning just as loud as you were. His sole purpose now was to make you cum - not expecting anything from you in return.

Your hands grip Jungkook's hair and your eyes can't remove themselves from the familiarly filthy scene of Jungkook between your legs. His eyes glance up to look at you, eyes filled with the same lust you had in yours.

"I'm going to cum." you cough out, head leaning back and eyes fluttering close.

Jungkook lifts himself from your clit - glistening in the light. He enters two fingers inside of you, pumping them deeply. He reconnects his lips to your clit, bobbing his head side to side. Your hands squeeze his hair tightly, pushing him deeper into your clit as your high was reaching.

Jungkook couldn't stop himself from moaning into your clit. The grip you have on his hair sends goosebumps throughout his body - all you need to do now to satiate him was slap him like you've always done before.

Jungkook lifts from your clit just as you cum, his fingers covered in a mixture of your juices and you cum - he marvels at just how wet and beautiful you were.

"I need you to fuck me."

Jungkook grunts. "No." he swallows. "I should've had more self control. I don't want you to regret this."

You were positive you both were going to regret this. However, you were wet and the budlge in his pants didn't go unnoticed.

"Please." you open your eyes and plead with him.

Jungkook shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek. "Y/N-"

You slap him across the face - hard. It echoes across the walls and nearly has Jungkook stumbling.

Jungkook's not ashamed to say it turns him on. The stinging in his cheek only makes his cock harder.

You slap him again, then again. When you were going to do it once more, Jungkook grasps your throat and places his lips upon yours. His free hand unbuckles his belt and throws his pants off.

"I don't have a condom." he stutters, tip of his cock so close to your entrance that he can feel the warmth radiating from it.

"You never did." you respond, reconnecting your lips. A condom was the last thing you were worrying about and all you truly wanted was for him to be inside of you. Your intoxicated actions would be dealt with when you were sober.

Jungkook enters you. He's gasping - you're wet, warm and tight, just like he remembered. He takes a couple seconds to process the euphoric feeling before he begins to thrust. He starts at a delayed pace, feeling every bit of what your walls offer him - the blissfill sensation. "You feel so good." Jungkook quivers.

"You're going soft on me again?" you tease, but Jungkook hears the low hushed moan and you can't tease him with anything when you're enjoying what he's doing. "Simp." you fight back the smirk threatening to stretch upon your lips.

"I'm suppose to simp over you." Jungkook places a hand on your outer thigh and scoots you closer to him. His other hand lays on your cheek. "You're my wife and the mother of my son." Jungkook thrusts deep inside of you, his pace starting up.

You bite your lip. Your lack of sex life since you've left could be evident right about now. You're clenching tightly around him and your hand holds his that lays on your cheek.

Jungkook thrusts into your harder and deeper, grunts releasing from his throat. He refuses to look away from you - it's a necessity that he remembers everything from this night - the way you taste, the way you feel. Even the way you came around him - he wanted to remember it all; he wasn't sure what the outcome would be when the both of you woke up the following morning.

"You're-"

"If you call me beautiful again I'm going to slap you." you stammer. Jungkook's thrust were now powerful and it was challenging even trying to stay up without much help - but Jungkook had a firm grip on you.

Jungkook chuckles darkly. "-beautiful." he murmurs - only because he wants you to slap him. And when you do, his grip on your cheek tightens. "I missed the way you feel around me." Jungkook admits, yet it couldn't have been a secret to you. He leans closer to your lips, hovering a few centimeters above you. "I missed making you cum for me."

You connect your lips with his in a needy kiss. Your arms wrap around his neck to bring him even closer to you, cock only going deeper. You can feel the tension building up deep within you - you were going to cum, and Jungkook's words were just going to make you cum harder than what you needed to.

Jungkook knows your body enough to know when you were going to cum. He disconnects his lips from yours and wraps a hand around your neck. "I want you to cum, baby." Jungkook murmurs. He quickens is pace, skin slapping echoing off the walls. "You always look so gorgeous when you cum for me."

"Shut up." you moan, clenching your eyes shut.

"I've waited so long for you to cum around me again, baby." You're tightening around Jungkook even more as his thrust becomes sloppy. He was close to cumming just as you were.

Jungkook pulls out and cums along your thigh - he was tipsy, yet not enough to cum inside of you. He's unsure how you'd react the following day once the both of you sobered up.

You nearly fell along the table if Jungkook didn't manage to catch you. You feel exhausted and haven't done anything but get fucked. "Tired?" Jungkook hums.

You nod your head.

"Let's get cleaned up then go to bed." Jungkook pushes you towards him to hop off of the table.

"What about this mess?" you sigh. You're unsure how one thing got to another and you two left the kitchen this chaotic.

Jungkook shrugs. "I'll deal with it tomorrow." he responds, pulling you with him.

You grab your discarded underwear and follow Jungkook towards your room to shower and sleep, far too exhausted to question anything that's just transpire.

You released everything you ate into the toilet, loud gagging noises could be heard. Jungkook had followed you after you ran from the breakfast table. His eyes widen at your figure, grabbing your hair to pull it back to ensure it doesn't get caught into the mess.

"Get off of me." you hiss, slapping his hands away from you.

"Y/N-"

"Can you leave me alone?" you spit into the toilet, groaning at the way your mouth tastes. "You've done enough."

Jungkook doesn't respond. His eyes lower to the ground when he leaves the bathroom, making sure to close the door behind him. He sits onto the bed, eyes staring at the ground still.

Even after a month and a half had gone by, his relationship with you has yet to change. The two of you had returned home and you managed to avoid him every chance you had. You didn't cuddle into him anymore and slept with your back facing him - Jungkook never touched you, afraid you'd flinch away from him. While he was at work, he constantly contemplated calling you, but he realized it'd go nowhere.

Each morning the two of you ate breakfast silently, you never making eye contact with him. After the first week, Jungkook respected that you didn't want to talk to him now - but that didn't mean it made it easier. Dinner was just as silent and the home didn't feel warm anymore.

Jungkook asked himself constantly if he went too far with the bedding ceremony. He sat through many bedding ceremonies with his Hyungs and watched half-heartidly and couldn't remember anything that went down besides quick sex. He told himself that eventually you'd come around - that you'd soon begin to forgive him. But as days turned to weeks, he craved for any form of interaction with you - even if it was you berating him. He longed for any form of physical touch - even if it was you kicking and punching him.

Jungkook knows he lost your trust - the same trust he fought hard to gain. His attempts to ensure that you were safe with him and that he'd never hurt you intentionally had since gone down the drain. You flinched away whenever he got too close and refused to even acknowledge his existance.

Jungkook snaps his head up as soon as he hears the door creek open. He stands, eyes examining to be sure you weren't hurt. He's unsure why you're vomiting - you only ate a few bites of the breakfast. Maybe it didn't settle in your stomach the way it should've.

"Are you alright?" Jungkook murmurs. He doesn't move closer to you, but nor does he step back.

You ignored his words and made your way around him. Jungkook turns as you do so. "Y/N-"

"Please." you sigh out meekly. "Leave me alone, Jungkook."

"Jungkook?" Ren's words bring him back to reality.

Jungkook finally blinks, the moisture coming back to his eyes. He hadn't realized he had been staring at you as you spoke of the past.

"Y-Yes?"

"Is it becoming crucial to hear about the past?" Ren inquires. "You haven't blinked once."

Jungkook shakes his head. "It's something we have to do." he responds. "I want to right my wrongs." he turns back to you. "As long as you want to relive them. If it's too hard then-"

"I can talk about it." You nod at him. "It won't get better unless we talk about it."

"If it makes it easier to talk, I can leave the room once again." Ren suggests, but she's already standing and grabbing a few of her belongings.

"Doesn't it defeat the purpose of coming here?" Jungkook's eyes follows Ren as she strolls towards the door.

"Not at all." Ren shakes her head. She opens the door to her office. "I give you the tough topics to talk about and the two of you discuss them. I don't need to be present for it to happen." Ren walks out the door, giving the both of you a nod before closing it.

Jungkook turns to you and offers a small grin - an awkward one. The two of you had a list of topics to talk about - and you have yet to speak about the hookup the previous day. The both of you woke to Jin-Seon jumping onto bed to get your attention indicating that he was hungry. Just as you scurried out of the room, Han-Jae was coming out of Jin-Seon's room, rubbing his eyes. There was no time to talk when Jungkook cleans up the mess in the kitchen you made and you get both boys ready for the day - bath time was always an adventure with Jin-Seon, adding Han-Jae to the mix was just chaotic.

Jungkook had breakfast made by the time you're done, yet he's unsure how to approach you. He's unsure how to read you - if you were upset and regretted it, or did you feel the same as him?

You sat Han-Jae and Jin-Seon down between the two of you, both boys diving right into the breakfast Jungkook makes for you. You don't avoid his eyes, yet there still wasn't a moment in which you spoke about the night before - and Jungkook's unsure if he's overstepping if he asks you himself.

"Where do you want to start?" You question. Ren had suggested that Jungkook and you recount how you were feeling once you returned home from Greece. It was a tough topic to speak of - especially when the outcome is you leaving while pregnant. Yet, there were little details that even you didn't wish to speak of.

"Did you know you were pregnant then?" Jungkook whispers. "When you were vomiting?"

You shake your head. "No."

You grasp the small pills hidden deep within your closet and take one - just like you had ever since Eun-Young has given it to you. Still, you cannot shake off the feeling that something is wrong with you. You don't feel like yourself - food and aroma that once sat right with you has you vomiting within seconds. You felt bloated at times even without eating anything the cramps were becoming unbearable - you told yourself your period was coming, yet it had yet to come.

"Maybe you should see a doctor." Jungkook suggests when you come from the bathroom once more, wiping your mouth. "I can go with-"

"No." you interrupt. "I...I'm meeting Eun-Young today for lunch."

Jungkook furrows a brow. "I didn't know." he speaks. "How are you getting there?"

"Jae-beom agreed to come and stay with me." you walk towards your closet to get ready.

"Why didn't you ask me to take you?" Jungkook isn't upset with you - more at himself than anyone else. He's glad you came yourself comfortable with Eun-Young and Eun-Ji, yet he can't stop himself from thinking you're constantly away from home to be away from him.

"Thought you'd be busy." you respond without turning away from him. You scower the amount of clothes in the closet and try to piece together an outfit.

"I'm never too busy for you, Y/N." Jungkook states - but you know this. Jungkook has stopped what he was doing before when you asked him to get you some type of chocolate that could only be found 45 minutes away - all without complaining. You stated that you'd "die without it" and this was when he learned you enjoyed chocolate while on your period.

You don't respond, and Jungkook doesn't continue to talk.

Once you're dressed, Jungkook follows you down towards the foyer where Jae-beom is waiting. You don't say goodbye to him - even when he sullenly waves his own goodbyes.

Jae-beom doesn't take his eyes from you and sits in the next table over. He refuses to have history repeat itself - especially since Jungkook and you weren't on good terms. He's assured that the restrooms didn't have any escape route - and is satisfied when he doesn't find any.

You and Eun-Young speak lowly to one another but only exchange a few words while the two of you eat. Eun-Young's eyes rarely leave yours and she's no fool to know just exactly what you're going through. She wished she could have warned you herself about the bedding ceremony. It wasn't something she herself attended - none of the woman in Bangtan attended that - but going through it once, she understands how difficult it could be to go through.

"Here," Eun-Young opens her purse. She glances at Jae-beom who was now shoving a piece of steak into his mouth. "I got this for you."

Eun-Young passes the rectangular box towards you - more like shoving it into your hands. You blink a few times until your eyes read the letters on the small packaging. "You think I'm pregnant?" you murmur.

"By what you've told me - yes." Eun-Young nods. "It doesn't hurt to check, right?"

You gulped. With all the symptoms you had of pregnancy, you refused to believe you could be. You never missed a day on the birth control Eun-Young has given you. You took them around the same time everyday - even while in Greece. What were the chances of Jungkook getting you pregnant during the bedding ceremony?

You visibly shudder and this makes Eun-Young grab your hand in sympathy. "It could be negative." she insists, yet she's sure it wasn't. "And if it is then we could drink to that."

You know Eun-Young's trying everything she could to cheer you up, but it wasn't working. The possibility of you being pregnant frightens you deep to your core. You ponce thought living alongside Jungkook wouldn't be too bad - but after what you endured in Greece, you saw the man in a different light. It was hard to separate yourself from him and even you could tell the regret and guilt coming over him - you couldn't bring yourself to forgive him.

"I'll take it." you take a deep gulp of the water at your table. You were parched, throat dry with just the possibility of being pregnant.

"I can come with?" Eun-Young offers and you only give a curt nod. You can feel Jae-Beom's eyes on you as you make your way to the restroom - you only hoped he wouldn;t follow.

Thankfully, the restroom was empty when you arrived. Eun-Young lingers by the mirrors as you enter the stall. You hesitantly open the box. Your mind tells you to throw it away and come out after a few minutes and say it was negative - however, you don't. You know you can't.

You never took a pregnancy test and only could hope you did something right while doing so. You placed the cap onto it and waited, eyes never leaving the stick test. It took about five minutes for the test to say the results - and when you saw the two positive lines it didn't take long for you to release the food you previously ate right into the toilet.

"Y/N?" Eun-Young knocks softly on the stall. "Are you alright?"

No, you weren't.

Jungkook listens intently as you speak and he himself feels sick. He doesn't want to speak and interrupt you, but he understands that this is hurting you to relive the moment. He places a hand on yours, thumb rubbing your hand and you lift your eyes to reach his.

"I was scared." you admit to him. Reliving the moment you found out you were pregnant - in a restaurant stall at that - was something you wanted to forget. At that time in your life you weren't in the correct space of mind. "I scheduled an appointment for an abortion."

Jungkook's thumb stops rubbing and he stiffens. He doesn't blink when he scans your face for any form of lie - and finds none. After a few moments of silence, he swallows and blinks to regain moisture back into his eyes. "What?"

You chose to remove your hand from his. No secrets, like he wanted. "A few days later I scheduled an appointment for an abortion. I..."

"You said you were sick." Jungkook continues, the memories coming back to him of that day.

It was the first time you'd ask for Jungkook to take you to an appointment that you set yourself - ensuring that he could wait in the waiting room. He was excited that day - you hasd actually spoke to him first and asked him to accompany you; to where you were thinking of aborting his child.

"You're upset." you state, and when Jungkook shakes his head you continue. "You are."

"I'm not." Jungkook mumbles, but his eyes don't meet yours. He was upset at the thought of you aborting a child you two shared - but how upset could he be for you choosing what you wanted with your body? "Jin-Seon's...here." is all he manages to say.

"I didn't go through with it." you nod your head. "I...started to cry. And the doctor kept asking me if I was sure and I wasn't sure."

Jungkook's heart tightens; not only at your words but at the way your voice begins to quiver. It makes him hate the way he treated you even more - you were hurting because of him and you couldn't come to him for comfort like you should've been able to.

"I didn't want to be pregnant and tied to you forever." your words hit Jungkook, but he doesn't show it. "But I couldn't go through with it. I'm not sure what changed because I still didn't want to bring a child into this world and force them to grow up and endure what you had."

"He's not going to." Jungkook is quick to state, head snapping to you. "I promised-"

"I know." you nod your head. The sheer flashback of you scheduling an appointment for an abortion always makes you cry. You couldn't imagine your life without Jin-Seon, he brought an immense amount of joy in your life. "I didn't know that back then."

You exhale. You'd admit that it felt good - like a boulder off of your shoulders - to speak to someone about this. Realizing you were pregnant by Jungkook, you swore that your life was over and everything he wanted from you was fulfilled.

"Thank you for telling me." There's a lump in Jungkook's throat, but he is grateful nonetheless. You didn't have to tell him and went on with your life with leaving him in the dark - even if ultimately you didn't go through with it. "I wish I..." he licks his lips. How many times could he apologize until you grow annoyed? "...I was I was the man I should've been."

Jungkook eyes finally meet yours.

"Is that why you left?" Jungkook murmurs. "You didn't want to be...tied to me?"

Carving the chip from your shoulder hurts like a bitch. You shed a few tears at the unfortunate circumstance - yet you didn't dwell on it. Tonight was the only night you were sure you'd be able to get away from Jungkook and Bangtan in a whole.

Your plan was set in motion the day you decided you couldn't go through with the abortion. You sat in the restroom for half an hour to get yourself together - you were crying ugly tears. Jungkook couldn't know of this and would immediately catch on that something was wrong.

You had a bag packed that you managed to hide deep within the closet with the essential clothes needed. You grabbed whatever you could find with value to it to eventually sell while on your escape. Jungkook didn't leave money laying around, but what you did find you managed to snatch and add to your possession.

The same night of your escape was when you took the second pregnancy test - just to ensure that what you were doing was the right decision. There was the possibility that you weren't pregnant and maybe you'd have more time to plan your escape. But, even after you took this pregnancy test and witnessed the two lines you were left with only one option - and that was to escape and never turn back.

It wasn't easy in the slightest, but you chose a day where there were limited guards in the Estate and Bangtan were holding a meeting elsewhere. You only had a limited amount of cash and used some of it to catch the train outside of Seoul - the rest being for cheap motels and food.

You didn't have your phone with you, already knowing that Jungkook could easily track it. You only hoped by the time he realized you weren't home, you'd be far from Seoul and far from Bangtan.

Your family weighed in the back of your mind. Would Jungkook ruin their lives out of spite? Were you being selfish for leaving them vulnerable to Jungkook's rampage? It's a thought you didn't enjoy thinking about. You could only hope that Jungkook wouldn't take his soon to be anger out on your family - they didn't deserve the shit end of the stick.

You never remained in the same place for too long and made sure you weren't too comfortable anywhere. Your head remained down and you didn't risk speaking to anyone. As you grew in size, being out on your own was risky - yet you couldn't fathom going back to Jungkook now.

You had no general plan. You only wished if you were gone long enough that Jungkook could get over you and maybe find a woman willing to be with him. You'd soon find a job and a place to stay and raise your child. Again, it was risky. You didn't have a set clinic you went to and only opted in Urgent Care who asked little questions and would tell you if your child was healthy or not.

You slept in motels? Outside?" Jungkook couldn't believe his ears, but it takes everything in him not to shout. It's all in the past and even though you and Jin-Seon are now safe - his mind still cannot fathom the idea of you being vulnerable out there without him.

"I survived...?"

Jungkook isn't amused in the slightest and you release a soft sigh.

"That's why I'm grateful to Soobin and Byeol. She was the one that found me unconcious and had Soobin bring me in."

Jungkook's jaw tightens, but he doesn't respond. Hearing Soobin's name brings back unwanted memories of the man. Truly, Jungkook couldn't be upset. It wasn't Soobin's fault that you grew fond of him - he was the opposite of Jungkook himself. Though it hurts to think that if you were never found that Jin-Seon would be raised with another man. However, how resentful could he be with the man? He assisted in taking care of you when he couldn't and in the end, he could only be thankful.

"Do you miss them?"

Jungkook leans back against the couch. He knows the answer to his question - you do. You spoke little of Soobin and Jungkook thinks it's because you'd rather not see him become jealous of the younger man. You speak of Byeol every now and then and Jungkook learns that you were truly content living with them.

"A little." you admit. You often thought about sending a letter to them, but decided against it. Soobin surely hated you by now and Byeol would be disappointed - you never had the chance to say goodbye to her. "I wish I had...closure."

Jungkook's eyes examines the way your face falls and now he's mentally sighing. He told himself that you'd never go back to that place - and never see Soobin, the man who took you from him. Yet, Jungkook accepts that you grown to love the two of them and if given the decision just a year ago - you'd wouldn't be here with him.

"We can take Jin-Seon..." Jungkook begins and when your eyes snap to his, he feels his heart flutter. "...and visit...?" he's unsure how to word it. Soobin despised him - by the words of Jimin and Jin - and he's never met Byeol herself. But, if it would make you happy and grow to love him, it's an act he'd had to go through.

"I thought-"

"I'm trying, Y/N." Jungkook groans. "If you and I are going to be better than," Jungkook releases a sigh. The things he did to get you to love him. "I guess we can-"

"Ok." you nod your head without a second thought. "I, um...Hyun-woo is coming over tonight for dinner."

Oh.

Jungkook nods his head slowly. He makes an attempt to smile, but it doesn't appear as one; more like a grimance.

Hyun-woo had been released a week prior from rehab. He began a program that offered him housing as long as he worked, and so far it's been successful.

"Have you seen him since his release from rehab?"

You shake your head.

"I see." Jungkook nods. He's unsure what to say. "Does he know about me?"

Another shake of your head and Jungkook manages to feel some weight release from his shoulders. That only meant that Jungkook had time to prepare for Hyun-woo's arrival.

"Are you alright?" Jungkook hears your words and if only there was a way to explain to you his distain for Hyun-woo - he would. However, there wasn't a way to do so. Would you forgive him if you knew he was the one selling your brother the drugs that made him an addict?

And was responsible for the debt?

And his men ruining your apartment - and traumatizing you in the long run?

Of course you wouldn't.

"I'm fine." Jungkook murmurs. "I think we should have a family dinner, don't you? I can invite my hyungs and you can invite your siblings."

Jungkook's intention was to purely threaten Hyun-woo. Having all 7 of them there, he wouldn't dare speak aloud.

"And of course the children. It's not every day someone special enters your life again."

Even if Jungkook wished Hyun-woo remained far from him, you and his son.

"Okay." you're beaming - so beautfiul in eyes that he returns the gesture.

"Can't wait." Jungkook mumbles.

"Jungkook." you murmur, voice dangerously low. "Why is my son in the bath tub when I bathed him an hour ago?"

The dinner hasn't even started and you were already stressed.

Jungkook insisted that he bring back his personal kitchen staff to cook for the night so you and him didn't have to run around and do much. You agreed - however, Jin-Seon and Jungkook had different plans. After you dressed him for dinner, Jungkook thought it would be alright to give his son a quick treat. Nothing too much to spoil dinner - just ice cream. However, it only took Jungkook turning his back once for Jin-Seon to ruin his outfit.

"Oh no," Jungkook quickly removes Jin-Seon's hands from inside the bowl. His dress shirt was covered in the chocolate ice cream, as were his hands and cheeks. "eomma is going to be upset." he shakes his head. "Not with you. With me." You'd been running around making sure that everything was perfect - and now he would surely have to hear you scream.

Jin-Seon lifts his ice cream covered hand to Jungkook who shakes his head again. "No, I'm not hungry." he murmurs to his son. He lifts his son in his arms and ensures that his small hands don't touch and dirty his own shirt. "We need to bathe you before eomma sees."

Now Jin-Seon happily played with the water toys Jungkook had put into the bath while he rubbed his arms and back.

"Y/N, baby." Jungkook gives you a short smile with widened eyes. "Why aren't you down-"

"What happened to his clothes?" you groan, eyes cast down to the discarded clothes by the large bathtub. "You gave him ice cream, didn't you? I told you-"

"Not to give him anything messy." Jungkook sighs in defeat. You told him this day by day - and each time Jungkook never listened. "I'm sorry. That's why I'm bathing him now."

"There isn't any time to clean these." you huff, lifting the cute matching outfit Jin-Seon would've worn to match Jungkook and you perfectly. "Now we have to change our clothes."

Jin-Seon and Jungkook watch as you kick off your heels and scurry off with a huff. Jungkook could only laugh - you were cute when you were anxious.

Jin-Seon loved taking baths and removing him from said bath was what caused a meltdown. Jungkook chasing his naked and wet son around the bathroom was something you didn't need now - not when the both of them needed to be dressed and ready.

"Jin-Seon!" Jungkook hisses, raising his voice slightly. If he didn't get him dressed he was going to have to deal with your wrath.

Jungkook stops in his tracks as Jin-Seon flinches. He soon falls to the floor and begins sobbing loudly.

"Why is he crying?" you scurry back into the bathroom. You examine Jin-Seon, concerned that maybe he fell and hit his head.

Jungkook overcomes with sadness, his heart pumping at the sight of his son. He scoops Jin-Seon into his arms and cradles him close. His small arms wrap around Jungkook's neck as he continues to cry. "I didn't mean to yell at you." he rubs his sons back.

You huff and roll your eyes. Any other time, you'd be concerned for Jin-Seon's whimpering - but now was not the time. Especially if he was crying because Jungkook raised his voice slightly at him. Jin-Seon was spoiled by his father and never had to deal with Jungkook's temper - it amazes you how this was the first time he had to.

You place Jungkook's clothes onto the bed besides Jin-Seon. "Get dressed. I'll dress him." you say as Jungkook finishes lotioning Jin-Seon's skin.

"No, what if he thinks I'm mad at him?" Jungkook frowns. "Appa didn't mean to raise his voice at you." he says to Jin-Seon.

"That's cute," you sigh. "but we need to get dressed so-"

"I'll get him dressed." Jungkook stands to face you. "You go downstairs and get ready to greet our guests. I'll make sure we're down in the next five minutes."

You take a deep breath and nod. You're unsure why you're so anxious. The only person you haven't seen in nearly 2 years was Hyun-woo - and maybe that's why you want to appear as though you had your life together. "Ok." you murmur an agreement.

Five minutes turned to fifteen, and Jungkook finally has Jin-Seon dressed when he enters the sitting room to find most of everyone already there. He's holding Jin-Seon, whose head is laid on his shoulder with both arms wrapped around his neck. As he enters, it's already chaotic with the amount of children running around - you had a total of 9 nieces and nephews and that didn't even include his Hyung's children.

"Jin-Seon-ah."

"Noona, hello." Jungkook smiles once he sees the familiar face of Namjoon's wife - behind her Momoka holding hands with Cho-he and Yui. "Momoka-ah." he nods his head.

Jin-Seon lifts his head and soon reaches his arms out for the woman before him. Jungkook shakes his head - it appears as when it came to his Hyungs, Jin-Seon could only stand to be around them for so long. Their wives were a different story - he adored each of them, Namjoon's being his ultimate favorite.

With Jin-Seon being gushed over by his Hyung's wives, Jungkook makes his way around to find you. When he does, he couldn't help but think how beautiful you looked. You barely slept when it came to organizing this occasion - making sure everything was perfect, even if it was just a dinner with family.

"Is there a reason why we're doing this, eomma?" Soobin crosses his arms. "How are we certain that it's even safe?"

"Do you know something about these people that I don't?" Byeol asks her son, furrowing a brow at him.

Yes - Jungkook and the mountain of men that he sent to their home were more than "good and generous" people like his mother believed. After a year of hearing nothing from Jungkook, there was another knock on their door - this time another man calling himself V. The man made himself at home and spoke mainly to his mother instead of him. He showed pictures of a now one year old Jin-Seon - Soobin's mind convincing himself it was just a ploy to butter his mother up - and inviting them to a dinner.

Byeol was none the wiser - but Soobin wasn't convinced. He was threatened to stay away from you and Jin-Seon, now they were inviting them to a sudden dinner? He wanted nothing to do with it - but his mother wouldn't hear any of it. She missed you and Jin-Seon, and having the chance to see the both of you (with no questions of where the hell you two been and why the sudden leave - she was an understanding woman, afterall) she was going to take it.

"We're here." Soobin murmurs sullenly, the large estate was a home he'd never thought he'd ever come across. It appeared to be something from a movie inside a gated community.

Soobin removes himself from the car - brought to them by V of course - and allows his mother to hold onto his arm. He follows close behind the men as they make their way to the front entrance - huge doors with carvings upon it, Soobin scoffs. Even Jungkook's doors and knobs were far more expensive than anything he could afford.

Byeol smiles as the doors open for them, a sea of people already inside and chatting amongst one another. Kids running around and playing in the large area, the sounds of laughter and joy coming from their youth makes her heart feel warm.

"We can always turn back and-"

"Soobin." Byeol hisses, and Soobin shuts his mouth. He wasn't impressed - sure, the estate was huge, luxurious and possibly the best he's ever been in. However, Jungkook and his friends - whoever the hell Jimin, V and Seokjin were to him - were to not be trusted. This money they flaunted had to be obtained illegally - how else could one man live like this?

"Ah, our guests."

Speak of the devil.

Jimin wears a devilious smile on his lips. He rolls his eyes sassily at Soobin who only scoffs beneath his breath. He holds out his hand for Byeol who removes herself from her son and takes it without a second thought. "Thank you for coming, ajumma." he says sweetly to her, but Soobin only huffs at the fradulance. "Cho-hee, Yui," Jimin waves a hand to the side at two young girls who come towards him at the sound of their names. "These our my daughters."

Soobin crosses his arms. He's unsure what's going on, and why they're being introduced to his children. They were cute - whatever - but this isn't what Soobin would thought would happen. His mind told him that he would be bound and gagged upon arrival - not meet two children, and a dozen more belonging to these men.

Byeol adored children and soon, she's caught up by the two girls to realize Soobin seathing behind her.

"Soobin." Jimin hums. "How's-"

"Why are we here?"

"Rude." Jimin chuckles. "You should be glad to be in the presence of Bangtan."

"Bang...tan?" Soobin knits his brows. "What-"

"You know what we are and there's no point in hiding it any longer. You're not stupid enough to go against us any longer." Jimin waves his hand dismissivly. "Kookie was the one that insisted we invited you."

Soobin crosses his arms.

"Do you not want to see Jin-Seon? He might not like you, he's attached to his father's hip." Jimin rolls his eyes. "Cute kid, though. How about I get him for you?"

Jimin strolls away without hearing what Soobin has to say - if he was truly getting Jin-Seon was unsure to Soobin.

"We have guests to speak with." Jungkook places a hand on the small of your back. Prying Jin-Seon away from his hyung's wife was a challenge, but he managed to do so with taffy candy.

You turned around and glared at Jungkook. "Why is he eating candy? We're about to-"

"You can slap me around later about it." Jungkook sighs. "Come on."

You allow Jungkook to lead you to wherever - towards the front entrance. As you come closer, your eyes train on the familiar faces. Your throat tightens and soon, you're slowing down. "Why are-"

"Did you invite them?" you murmur to Jungkook who nods. "I-I...what if-"

"They wouldn't have agreed to come if they were upset, Y/N." Jungkook assures. "I'm trying to right my wrongs." Maybe breaking into a home, pointing a gun at Soobin and disrespecting not only him, but his home was more than wrong - but, he was attempting to correct it.

"Okay." you nod, but the uneasiness in the pits of your stomach doesn't die down.

Instead, it bubbles with each step closer - especially when your eyes meet Soobin's. You swallow - he doesn't appear upset with you, more shocked to see you. His eyes flicker to Jungkook and Jin-Seon and noticeably softens.

"Soobin." you bow when you reach the two of them. "Byeol-ah."

Cho-hee and Yui had scurried off once they didn't have the attention of Byeol. The older woman widens her eyes at you, then turns towards the tall - and handsome - man besides you holding Jin-Seon.

"Y/N." Byeol doesn't contain her excitement. She wouldn't ask what happened to you, or where you'd been - she never truly understood your situation. She wasn't going to judge and instead would rather enjoy the time she could spend with you now. "Is this..."

"Yes." you nod your head, a smile on your lips. Your eyes glance at Jin-Seon, sucking on the taffy when Jungkook goes to put him down. "He's a bit-"

"attached." Jungkook murmurs when Jin-Seon clenches his suit pants tightly. His small eyes look up at Soobin who does nothing but look down at him.

"Watch the way you speak to me in front of my son." Jungkook hisses at Hyun-woo. He has Jin-Seon in his arms as he glares at his uncle. He's rocking him gently side to side to soothe him."A man like you should be grateful that you're out of rehab and clean - all at my expense." Jungkook's words were dripped with venom - sinister even. "I'm not against tying you down and having you injected with whatever drug to prove to Y/N that you're nothing but the addict we all know you are."

Hyun-woo's eyes widened, but Jungkook's words didn't stop. "Y/N and I are happy. Jin-Seon is happy with both parents and you're not taking that away from me." Jungkook shakes his head, chuckling. He begins to rock Jin-Seon in his arms. "You have two choices, Hyun-woo. You can stay and continue to live comfortably at my expense or..." Jungkook shrugs. "I'll have to comfort my wife and explain to her that some addicts cannot be saved. And you'll be right back at rehab - this time, there won't be no coming back home. Your choice."

Of course, how Hyun-woo and Jungkook gotten here could not go unexplained.

Your eyes nearly teared up at the sight of your brother. He entered behind Jae-beom, and immediately it was as if time stood still. His hair was cut short and no longer the greasy mess it once was. He was cleanly shaved and overall appeared much healthier. His eyes darted around the room, finding Sehun first. It didn't take long before the five of you all stood around one another hugging the eldest of the family.

Jungkook stood back, not yet making himself known. Yoongi stood closest to the doorway, Taehyung creeping to his side. Namjoon and Hoseok stood directly behind Jungkook while Jimin and Jin stood opposite of one another and on each side of Hyun-woo. No would would have suspected their intimidation tactic - they were just men introducing themselves to a new (but familiar) face.

"Hyun-woo. I told you I had someone you should meet." your voice was filled with excitement and Hyun-woo's eyes matched them. When you turned and motioned for Jungkook and Jin-Seon over was when the light drained from his eyes. "This is Jungkook. My husband." Calling Jungkook your husband was foreign on your tongue - at times you nearly forgot the two of you were bound by law. "And our son."

"Jin-Seon." Jungkook smiles - too sickly sweet for Hyun-woo's liking.

The man felt sick and he turned his head to the right side, Jin's eyes staring back into his own. His heart pumps outside of his chest when his eyes catch Jimin to his left - and behind Jungkook to meet eyes with Namjoon and Hoseok.

"Are you alright?" you place a hand on Hyun-woo's shoulder and the man flinches.

Hyun-woo nods his head. "Y-Yes." he swallows the lump in his throat. "I-I...this is all news to me. You have a son." he tries to smile down at his nephew - but the similarity to him and the man you called your husband and father of your son was frightening. "And a husband."

"It's a change. But a good change." you hold your hands out for Jin-Seon and the boy willingly comes from his father's arms to you. "Say hi, Jin-Seon-ie."

Jin-Seon doesn't say or do much - just blinks at the unfamiliar man. Hyun-woo blinks away, eyes on Jungkook's - whose eyes were already boring into his own. A silent warning - they all were giving Hyun-woo's warning. Don't say anything, don't do anything - don't act out in the slightest.

"Let's eat." Jungkook claps his hands, eyes never leaving Hyun-woo's. "To welcome back our special guest."

Hyun-woo is sickened to his stomach throughout the dinner. He'd admit that he missed his family that grew before his eyes. He had mountains of nieces and nephews that his siblings gave him - especially you, his youngest sister.

However, Hyun-woo was no fool in understanding that they were brainwashed - all of them. His siblings adored Jungkook, as did their children. Their eyes shined at the man and their smiles plastered on their lips were wide and genuine. Jin-seon, though having his own seat between you and Jungkook, insisted on being in his father's lap while he ate. Jungkook appeared to be like the kind father figure and family man.

And not the Drug Lord he truly was.

Hyun-woo glances at you to find your eyes already on him. He offers a quick smile before he takes a few gulps of the water. You must've not known who exactly you were married to and he cannot blame you for this. How in the world Jungkook managed to slither his way into your life is beyond him, but he hates himself for not being around to allow him to do so.

The dinner was successful in your eyes. Hyun-woo appeared stiff and standoffish, yet you were glad he was able to be here with you tonight. Having your full family here with you - and even the family you've been married into - makes your heart full. You're glad you've had the chance to see Soobin and Byeol and was grateful immensely that they harbor no hard feelings for you. Byeol adored Jin-Seon and as the dinner wrapped up, she made sure to ruffle his hair affectionately.

As for Jin-Seon himself, the young boy was fighting his own sleep in his fathers lap. His small hand clenches his shirt while his head rests against him. You smile gently and kiss his head. You glance at Jungkook. "Do you want to take him to bed while I show Soobin and Byeol out?"

Jungkook nods his head slowly. He adjusts Jin-Seon in his lap who begins to whimper.

"Can I?" Hyun-woo speaks up. While the rest of his siblings began to scatter to gather up their children to leave for the night, he remained at the table. "Um, wish him goodnight?"

Jungkook tighten his jaw but he nods. "I'm sure he'll like that." he murmurs out.

You nod your head. "Okay..." you hum. "Kookie. Hyun-woo." you nod. The tension couldn't go unnoticed by you - but Jungkook was trying and so was Hyun-woo.

"Follow me." Jungkook stands. He can feel your eyes on him as he makes his way out of the kitchen, making sure to say a few words to his Hyung and their wives as Jin-Seon and him made it past them.

Hyun-woo follows closely behind Jungkook, eyes glaring at his back. His nephew's eyes catch his and his eyes soften. There was a part of you in Jin-Seon and it makes his heart tighten that he feels little adoration for him because of who his father was. Jungkook stops after a few moments of climbing stairs.

"How did you get involved with Y/N?"

Hyun-woo doesn't waste any time in questioning. Jin-Seon's eyes were closed, arms limp around Jungkook's neck. "That's what you have to ask me?" he chuckles. He turns around to furrow a brow at Hyun-woo. "A thank you would be a better conversation starter?"

"Thank you?" Hyun-woo hisses. "You-"

"I what?" Jungkook snaps quietly. He didn't need anyone hearing the - especially you - or Jin-Seon waking. "Got you out of jail? Paid for your rehab?"

"Don't try to portray yourself as some type of Saint!" Hyun-woo hisses. "You're nothing but some type of Drug Lord that conned your way into my sisters pants!"

"Watch the way you speak to me in front of my son." Jungkook hisses at Hyun-woo. He has Jin-Seon in his arms as he glares at his uncle. He's rocking him gently side to side to soothe him - he began to stir. "A man like you should be grateful that you're out of rehab and clean - all at my expense." Jungkook's words were dripped with venom - sinister even. "I'm not against tying you down and having you injected with whatever drug to prove to Y/N that you're nothing but the addict we all know you are."

Jungkook turns away from a stunned Hyun-woo and opens the door to his bedroom. He strolls towards his bed where he places Jin-Seon right in the middle. Jin-Seon whimpers lowly, but doesn't wake.

Hyun-woo's eyes watch Jungkook place a kiss on his nephews head before lifting the covers to his torso. He swallows, feeling his hands sweat. His mind swirls around Jungkook's words. He wouldn't doubt that Jungkook was a good father and possibly a good husband to you - you didn't appear as if you knew what he did for a living, and by the attire and the massive estate you lived in, you and Jin-Seon were comfortable.

But, Hyun-woo also didn't doubt that Jungkook would do what he threatened. The idea of Jungkook injecting him with whatever to get him to relapse makes his blood run cold - he was the same man of 2 years ago, now just a father and husband.

Hyun-woo blinks just as Jungkook closes the bedroom door behind him. He's facing Hyun-woo, eyes glaring and shoulders bulked.

"Do you want to see Jin-Seon's room?"

Jungkook strolls past him without a response and opens a door to a room exactly across from them.

"He doesn't sleep in here often." Jungkook murmurs, flickering on the light switch. "Only plays. He prefers to sleep with us."

Hyun-woo hums at the sight of the room. The array of toys littering around the room and the large TV was enough to tell him that Jin-Seon was already spoiled - in a good way. He enjoyed to see children have what they needed and desired.

"Are you trying to convince me you aren't a bad person?" Hyun-woo asks Jungkook. His eyes linger on a picture hanging above Jin-Seon's bed - a neat bed that appears to not have been slept in. It's a picture of you, Jin-Seon and Jungkook and his eyes blinks away what appears to be tears forming.

"I don't need to convince you that I am anything." Jungkook shrugs. "You know who I am and that's all you'll ever see me as."

"Does Y/N know?"

"Yes."

Hyun-woo spins around to face Jungkook. "You're lying." he shakes his head. "Y/N would never willingly-"

"She knows who I am and what I do." Jungkook hisses. "And we're happy."

"Does she know who sold her brother the drugs?" Hyun-woo snaps. "Does she know it was-"

"You're a grown man, Hyun-woo. I'm not going to take responsibility for your own actions." Jungkook scoffs. He leans against the door frame with crossed arms. "I'm not going to allow you to take my family away from me."

Hyun-woo eyes lingers on the seriousness in Jungkook's eyes.

"I gave you that coke that you snorted in hopes that you'd flip it and get me the money I needed." Jungkook says. "Instead, you snorted it all like the addict you were. That amount of coke happened to be worth the exact amount of money you owed me. If you were smart..." Jungkook hums. "...maybe you would've never ended up in jail. And maybe, Y/N wouldn't be my wife or the mother of my child."

Jungkook shrugs. In the end, there was truth in Jungkook's words. The drugs he given Hyun-woo that night in his office was the exact amount the man owed him. However, he's no idiot. Hyun-woo is an addict and giving an addict their addiction would do nothing but make them fall into temptation. He was well aware that Hyun-woo wouldn't sell it and instead would use it all for himself.

"You still hate me, however. I'm well aware." Jungkook licks his lips. "And you should. I was the one that sold you the drugs I knew you could never pay."

Hyun-woo clenches his fist. His eyes are glaring at Jungkook - the man who stood before him with a smug look upon his face.

"And while you were arrested, I was also the man who required your sister to pay the price you owed." Jungkook continues. He places a hand in his pocket. "Of course, I didn't want Y/N's money. I wanted her, my beautiful wife. However, of course, she was far too independent. Why would she need a man like me, Hyun-woo? When she could do everything she needed herself?"

Jungkook pulls his hands out of his pocket, a small syringe in his hands.

"I had three of my men go to Y/N's house and break anything they can find and tell her she had a week to come up with an insane amount of money. More than you even owed." Jungkook scoffs. "She was desperate to pay off your debts. The debts you left her, Hyun-woo."

Hyun-woo watches as Jungkook lifts the syringe, all the while the older man is stiff. Listening to what Jungkook has to say is making him feel sick to his stomach.

"So desperate that she was willing to sell her own virginity." Jungkook shakes his head with a tsk and Hyun-woo's eyes widen. "Luckily, I was there to buy her virginity. I'm no heathen, Hyun-woo, of course I didn't sleep with Y/N until she was ready."

"Shut up." Hyun-woo shakes his head. "Why-"

"I mind as well tell you the truth, right?" Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. "I gave you two choices, Hyun-woo. You'd either leave here tonight and enjoy your freedom like the rest of your siblings or," Jungkook toys with the syringe in his hand. "I'm going to drug you. Y/N is going to find you drugged up in our son's room and she's going to hate you for it."

Hyun-woo swallows.

"And of course, I'm going to be the doting husband. I'm going to send you right back to rehab and pay for it. This time - you'll never leave. I have connections and those connections will make sure you never recover. Y/N will never know that, however."

Jungkook blinks at Hyun-woo. "Regardless, Hyun-woo. My wife and son will be happy and comfortable. You're not taking that from me."

You climb the stairs, your heels in your hands. You were exhausted, but glad that the dinner was successful. You promised to come visit Soobin and Byeol, but the goodbyes weren't easy. You had to thank Jungkook for allowing them to re-enter your and Jin-Seon's life.

As you got to the top, your eyes find Jungkook in the doorway of Jin-Seon's room.

"Is he asleep in his own room tonight?" you ask from down the hall, coming closer to see if it was true.

Jungkook's eyes disconnect from Hyun-woo's and his hand swiftly hides the small syringe.

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. He gives you a smile as you appear. "I was showing Hyun-woo his room."

"Ah." you nod. "It's like a wonderland in here, right?" you giggle, eyes connecting with your brothers.

Your smile turns to a frown soon when you notice tears dripping from Hyun-woo's eyes. You glance at Jungkook who appears just as confused as you. You step forward, hands reaching out for your elder brother. "W-What's wrong?"

Hyun-woo shakes his head. "I..." How could he tell you the truth? That he's the reason you've been through so much, and Jungkook hasn't even scratched the surface on everything you've been through since he's been gone? Even if he did tell you everything Jungkook was about, would it matter? It was his fault for allowing Jungkook the opening to you because he was nothing but an addict.

"I'm so happy that you found happiness." Hyun-woo murmurs pathetically. He glances at Jungkook only briefly before his eyes connect with your own. "You've grown and now you're a mother and..."

Hyun-woo is stunned to feel your arms wrapped around him - he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve to feel your warmth or be the center of your love; not after he failed you as a brother.

Jungkook takes a few steps and places a hand on the low of your back. "Y/N's happy to have you back." he nods at Hyun-woo, satisfied that the man wasn't dumb. He chose the right side - the side that wouldn't put him into an early grave. "She's told me so much about you while you were gone. You enjoyed baking in your youth."

You disconnect yourself from Hyun-woo and nod your head, eyes shining. "Jungkook knows people who could get you back into baking. It won't be easy, of course, since you haven't baked in so long but-"

"If it's something you'd want to do." Jungkook stares at Hyun-woo deeply. "It can be done. Ye-Rim has her own restaurant and you could have your own bakery eventually. You just have to want it."

You just have to want it.

Hyun-woo nods his head. He did want it - but he couldn't shake the feeling of regret going through his veins. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was becoming a sell out and allowing Jungkook to throw whatever money he had at him.

"Good." Jungkook smiles, a sinister smile that doesn't reach your eyes. "Tomorrow I'll make some phone calls. We have a guest bedroom down the hall to the right where you'd be comfortable."

Hyun-woo nods and doesn't say another word to you or Jungkook. The heel of his shoes is heard clicking against the tile until it's inaudible.

"Thank you." you sigh to Jungkook. You place your head into his chest.

"You don't have to thank me, Y/N." Jungkook wraps his arms around you. He inhales the scent of your hair and feels the goosebumps rise upon his skin. "You're my wife. I'll do whatever makes you happy."

You take a deep breath. You don't respond and Jungkook doesn't need you to because he understand you're content. You're happy now that Hyun-woo is back and better - safer.

Jungkook ponders how his life would be if he never proceeded to go through with his plan. He wouldn't have Jin-Seon - and he wouldn't have you. Sure, there's the constant display of events that plays out in his mind that one day you'd find out about him - about what he's done to get you. However, it'll be against his dead body to see you and his son be taken away from him.

In a way, Jungkook thanks Hyun-woo for turning out the way he did. He gave him a wife who he adored and a son who he'd do anything for. All Hyun-woo had to do now was take what was being handed to him - a better life in the career he adores.

Jungkook was happy. You were happy. Jin-seon was happy - and that's all he could truly wish for.

Thank you all for reading and enjoying Cruel Intentions 🥲

Overthinking (Drabble) | Reward (Drabble)

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#fic recs #fic rec

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sunshine-and-kookies · 1 year ago

Text

THIS.

Where do I even begin. The premise, the plot, the imagery, PROFOUND character depictions, every fucking thing is accommodated so beautifully. I am at a loss for words.

An absolute banger!!

angel in the marble

after you fail to pickpocket him, the famous yet arrogant artist Jeon Jungkook takes you off the streets to make you his servant, and the more you know him, the more you realise he's not as detestable as everyone claims he is.

♔ PAIRING: michelangelo!jungkook x servant!reader

♔ GENRE: high renaissance au, angst, smut, humour

♔ WORD COUNT: 8k

♔ WARNINGS: homelessness, stealing, mild swearing/violence/drinking, 90% of this is bickering lmao, mentions of minor characters' death, jealousy and kinda possessiveness?, referenced unconsensual groping (not by jk), a bit of blasphemy, making out, groping, fingering, rough angry sexxx, choking, slapping

♔ AUTHOR'S NOTE: fun fact this is mostly historically accurate! jk's characterisation, the grocery list doodles, the sack of rome, the beef with his brother, the encounter with his rival (raphael)... are all taken from michelangelo's actual life, even some stuff is quoted from his letters lol. man was fanfic material.

1529, Rome

“How much for that one?”

“No, that one’s sold already.”

It was a lively morning. After days of heavy rainfall, those of high social class were eager to get out and meet under the gentle sun of spring, whose glare reflected on the precious stones of their jewellery; while those of low, out of necessity, couldn’t wait to reopen their businesses or set up their stalls and get back to work. You liked to eye them all as you strolled the streets of Rome.

“To whom?”

“Your friend Taehyung.”

“Agh… How much is that prick paying you?”

The point of the matter was that it was bustling, some colliding if they looked away from where they were going for more than a breath. It worked in your favour for it was then easier to make yourself scarce right after stealing bags of coins, such as those of the three men seemingly bargaining by a workshop’s entrance out of which a large block of marble was being dragged. Perfect.

“Three ducats.”

“Three?! He’s robbing you of two ducats. I’ll pay you the five it’s worth.”

You kept your head low as you approached the pair that seemed wealthier and with those stealthy hands of yours unfastened the bags tied to their belts. After all, pickpocketing was a skill you’d had under your own for some years now, so this was bound to go smoothly.

Because you didn’t realise there was a guardian with them, perhaps you’d grown arrogant.

“I’m sorry, maestro. It’s reserved.”

“But it’ll become a waste in his possession!”

As you slipped away into the crowd, mouth watering at the fresh-baked bread you were going to devour as soon as bought, this brown dog leaped up at you out of nowhere, ignoring your desperate efforts to shake him off. If anything, they caused him to bark.

No, no, no…

The three men turned to the scene playing out not so far, and thinking his dog was bothering you one of them shouted, “Bam, come here, boy!” but as he obediently ran to his owner, you were too slow to hide the bags in your hands. It only took the pair a second to make them out, check whether theirs still hung on their belts, find them not, work out you’d stolen them, look back up, and find you not either.

Of course, you’d made your escape by then, dived into the sea of people and swum through them as quickly as possible, only stopping when you reached an empty vaulted alley to catch your breath.

That was ridiculously close. If you weren’t more careful next–

Your train of thought was interrupted by someone grabbing you by the arm from behind and pushing you against the nearest wall. A grunt accompanied the thud, and a gasp followed at the sight of the two men from before—dog included. Pinned in place, it’d be a bad idea to fight back or attempt to run away again. Fuck’s sake.

“Do you know what happens to thieves?” the one cornering you asked so close that when the cold breeze rustled his hair, some strands grazed your face. You looked away to avoid the tickling rather than out of fear, or so you wanted to believe. “They have a hand cut off. Seems fair, doesn’t it, Jimin?”

By contrast, that Jimin didn’t look intimidating, otherwise still catching his breath from the chase, but he did snatch the coin bags from your hands. “It doesn’t have to be so, maestro. We got our money back. She’s… just a girl.”

“And that exempts her of crime?”

“Please, don’t report me,” you begged, humiliating as though it was.

“Why shouldn’t we?” the maestro scoffed. Maestro… You were being threatened by a damned craftsman, the other one probably his assistant.

“Because I don’t want to lose a hand?”

“Oh, but we wanted to lose money, did we?” You rolled your eyes, and he released his grip only to step away. “Take us to your father, brat. He’ll answer for you.”

It took you a moment to respond, “I don’t have a father, or anyone... Only I can answer for my actions.”

“You’re a beggar?” Jimin asked, taking pity as he studied your appearance for the first time. Dishevelled hair, tattered dress, unpleasant smell… Yes, they should’ve guessed.

“She doesn’t beg, though, does she? She steals.”

“Only from cunts.”

His head snapped to meet your glare, and Jimin laughed, “You seem to not know whom you speak to.” He could be Jesus for all you cared. Uninterested, you petted the dog, Bam, seeing as he’d leapt up at you again. “This is Jeon Jungkook.”

You froze. The Jeon Jungkook? The famous artist who painted and sculpted for the Pope? Whom faraway kings and even emperors commissioned? The one whose genius was said to be changing the world?

At the lack of attention, Bam returned to his master, and that snapped you out of your shock to ask, “Then why do you whine?” The two men frowned, having clearly expected an apology paired with the usual bootlicking. “As if you need that bag more than I!”

“What nerve,” he scoffed again, making you wince by grabbing your arm tighter than before and starting to drag you into the next street. “You’re going straight to the authorities!”

“Wait,” Jimin intervened, thank God. “Weren’t you in need of a servant, maestro?”

“So?”

Jimin pointed at you with his gaze as though it was obvious. “You’re in need of a servant, she’s in need of a roof.”

“I would rather have a hand cut off.”

“I would rather have her hand cut off too.”

Jungkook tried to resume dragging you, but Jimin blocked his way with a soft smile. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N…”

“Do you know how to take care of a household?” Slowly, you nodded, melancholy engulfing you at the memory of cooking or sweeping the floor with your mother once upon a time. Somehow, she always found a way to make chores fun... “Then you qualify for the job. You’ll have three meals a day and a bed to sleep on. And you, maestro, a servant who’ll work her hardest, lest you fire her and she ends up in the streets again.”

Both you and Jungkook reluctantly glanced at each other. Truth be told, you didn’t prefer losing a hand to living with him, you just didn’t like him. Despite being a celebrity, he was a stranger. It just wouldn’t work.

But then, why were you holding your breath, hoping he’d accept?

“We shouldn’t have left Namjoon’s workshop. The marble is about to be delivered,” he said walking away. The air left your lungs in disappointment. It seemed you were to remain a stray cat. Jimin pressed his plump lips apologetically as he gave you enough coins to buy that bread, and you nodded, grateful all the same for his trying. You watched him rush to Jungkook’s side but when this one saw him, he turned around. “Hurry up, brat. If Taehyung gets that block of marble, I’ll not take you in.”

Since the first day, you could attest to Jeon Jungkook’s nature being as rough and uncouth as the rumours claimed, and after living alone with him for two months still believed gossip such as that he’d got the scar on his left cheek in a tavern fight—in which, if you’d chanced to be present, you would’ve rooted for the other individual.

It appeared it wasn’t just others Jungkook was harsh to. However rich his talent had turned him, he behaved like a poor man, consuming food and drink sparingly and out of necessity instead of pleasure, spending only the money required to live decently, sleeping little in order to work on commissions from dawn to midnight…

Why he chose to take little care of himself was a mystery to someone who previously had not been allowed a choice, even if putting work before all was in order to thwart Kim Taehyung’s plans of ruining his career, as he claimed. You doubted his rival was obsessed with him so, but had learned to agree with whatever Jungkook grumbled to avoid disputes. Most times.

Deep down, you had a feeling your boldness amused him. Who else dared get on his nerves?

“I think all you artists fluttering around the Pope are no more than slaves to money,” you let drop once while making his bed. Bam was sleeping peacefully under the window, while Jungkook leaning against the door’s frame behind you, offended to the core. He could help, you thought, or at least loosen my corset a little…

“I, a slave? I’ll be damned… There is an angel inside every block of marble, and I’ll have you know I carve to set it free.”

“Is it the angel that charges the Pope, then, master?” You could feel him barely restraining the urge to throw you out the window, smiled as you finished smoothing out the blankets.

“You missed a wrinkle there.”

Hands on your hips and frown on your brows, you examined the neatly arranged coverings of his bed. “Where?”

“On your face,” he muttered before making his leave.

Not his finest jibe, but the metaphor did stay with you. An angel inside the marble… It perhaps applied to Jungkook himself, though you’d never tell him.

One instance it came to mind was recently, when his assistants and apprentices were invited over for dinner.

Usually, he’d tell you which meals he liked and you’d ask at the marketplace which ingredients to buy, but now that about ten meals were to be cooked a list was needed. So there he sat on his desk in his study, inking said list as you waited in front of him, fiddling with the undershirt that peeked out of your dress’ sleeves. Given that your eyes were fixed on it, you only learned Jungkook was done when the sound of his quill scratching the paper ceased.

“Be back no later than dusk,” he ordered, “I bet there are still Germans and Spaniards lurking about.”

A year had passed since the Sack of Rome, but the mention of it sent a shiver of fear down your spine. Whatever the political reasons for it, you hated everyone involved, for Hell itself would’ve been a more beautiful sight to behold those nine months when the Tiber’s waters remained painted red…

You were lucky to make it through. Your family wasn’t.

“Yes, master.”

“Here,” he said handing you the paper, then picked another letter from a pile of correspondence he’d been going through before your arrival. Jungkook was about to snap its wax seal when he looked up to realise you hadn’t moved an inch. “Why are you here? Away with you!” He saw the reason in the way you avoided eye contact. “You can’t read, can you?” Met with a silence charged with embarrassment, he leaned back in his chair and sighed, “Give me the list.”

Getting hold of the quill again, Jungkook began… doodling?

You tilted your head but couldn’t see well what he was drawing until he finished and returned the list to you. Then, your lips parted. Each item on the list was illustrated next to its name: ten loaves of bread, a jug of wine, tortellini, four anchovies, two fennel soups…

“I’ll teach you to read when I have time. This will do for now.”

“You’d do that?” For me?

Jungkook ignored you, before he went back to reading his letters complimenting the good gesture with an irritated, “Hurry up.”

That night his co-workers arrived one by one, Jimin the first. The sight of him when you opened the door brightened up your mood.

Unlike a certain someone he was always sweet to you, genuinely interested to know how you fared even if you were just a servant. He claimed that mattered not to him, that you were both commoners and thus equals.

“Look at this place, it’s spotless! And you know I’m furtive, so I won’t get in your way,” you told Jimin as you escorted him through a hallway, bright from the torches hung on the walls that you’d lit up earlier.

He laughed, “I cannot make you my servant, Y/N, you’re maestro’s.”

“But he’s going to drive me mad… To tell you one of many examples, he often falls asleep in his clothes, and who but I is to take his boots off so they don’t get the sheets dirty? If the chalk on his fingers or the dust from the chiseling on his hair won’t already. Bam is far cleaner…”

Jungkook had a workshop he barely set foot in, preferred his team made use of it instead to not be bothered by their idiocy. His words. So it was in a chamber on the ground floor of this house he gave way to artistic insanity. In your book, that meant constant cleaning.

Jimin looked at you fondly. “Sounds nightmarish.”

“It truly is!”

As soon as the two of you entered the dining hall, Bam ran from Jungkook’s side by the fireplace to Jimin, who was as excited to see him.

“Good night, maes–”

“Do you think I’m deaf, ungrateful brat?” Jungkook interrupted him to bark at you. “Rome is full of people begging to get a piece of me, so if you don’t like it here, I’ll just get someone else!”

“You say that and yet keep me like a prisoner!”

“As if you don’t have it better here than anywhere you’ve burdened with your presence before!”

“There, there…” Jimin interjected to de-escalate, kneeling to better stroke Bam. “Maestro, I’ve seen your latest sketch of the Virgin and Child. She resembles Y/N.”

Both you and Jungkook failed to fight off the embarrassment, gazes unable to find a place to settle. Sitting down on the large table, he explained, “It was just one time… I had used Yoongi as a model, but the Madonna looked too masculine... and rather than going through the trouble of finding some girl and hiring her, I had Y/N pose for me… So what! Why bring it up out of nowhere…”

“Because maybe you just need a bit of distance from time to time. With permission, I too would have Y/N pose for m–”

“Absolutely not.”

“Now, why the hell not?” you groaned stamping your foot, startling poor Bam. Hope had been born inside you in a second and cruelly crushed in the next.

“Because I say so. And watch your tone with me.” As usual, the mutual glaring would trick anyone into thinking the next step would be murder. Jimin, who knelt there awkwardly, certainly thought so, at least until the bell rang. “Now go answer the door!”

What happened later, though, rendered the fury Jungkook had evoked in your heart nonexistent and instead seized the thing in a clasp of distress.

In the morning, he walked in when you were sweeping the kitchen. At once you forced the sobs to stop and turned around so he wouldn’t see you wipe your tears.

“It’s past nine, where’s breakfast?” he asked in shock that you hadn’t even started making it, the table there empty.

You swore under your breath before leaving the broomstick leaning against the nearest wall, flushed face kept out of Jungkook’s sight, then in a haste fetched a plate, a knife, and a leftover bread loaf. “Apologies, master, I forgot. I’ll be upstairs in a minute.”

Sniffling betrayed you, at which Jungkook frowned. “Are you crying?”

Great, the question just about especially designed to make one well up. Not trusting your voice anymore, you shook your head. Jungkook approached, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from the task at hand, now cutting a few slices of the bread.

“Have you broken something?” You shook your head again, the suppressed sobs making your chin tremble. Jungkook took a deep breath before asking with a surprisingly soothing tone, “Then what’s wrong?”

“You won’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

Within an hour, he’d summoned a meeting consisting of all who’d attended dinner the previous night.

A seemingly calm Jungkook was sat at the head of the table, elbows sunk on it and fingers interlocked. You stood behind him, head still low out of shame. A tense silence had fallen in the chamber some time ago, and sick of it, Jimin shattered it.

“Have you anything to tell us, maestro?”

“I was waiting for Biagio to do so.”

The man was one of Jungkook’s favourite assistants who had worked with him for years, even longer than Jimin. And if it was possible for your position to be trickier, he belonged to some noble family.

“Me? But I’ve nothing to say, maestro.”

Jungkook leaned back in his chair. “My servant will, then. Y/N?”

Bastard. If you are going to fire me, why make me go through this?

“Last night, w-when I left this hall to go refill the wine jug… Messer Biagio followed me into the kitchen, and… h-he trapped me from behind, and started t-to touch me…” Your vision soon blurred, hence why you couldn’t see clearly how concerned Jimin was for you, or how Biagio jumped up in outrage. “I managed to push him away, and ran upst–”

“How dare you slander me, wench? Maestro, you do not believe this!”

“Do I not?”

“She’s lying! I caught her stealing sketches from your study, likely to sell them, so she’s trying to get rid of me!”

You almost scoffed. Only an idiot would choose the one occasion guests had come over and her absence would be noticed to carry out a theft.

Jungkook tilted his head. “I thought you had nothing to say. Why would you keep such a thing just now?”

Biagio gulped. “I deemed it best to mention it later, in private... You won’t believe a pickpocket before an old friend, will you?”

Silence returned, your breath still as you saw all the assistants and apprentices visibly take pity on him. The only one who didn’t was Jimin, but even on his face there was a hint of hesitation. Jungkook’s, you couldn’t see from behind, but after an eternity he stood up and walked over only to put a hand on the shoulder of Biagio, who smiled in relief.

A quiet sob broke through your lips, heart sinking. You’d needed Jungkook to believe you in this. Not because of the consequences his protection as your master could save you from, but because, like it or not… he was the closest thing to family you had.

It turned out he did believe you, judging by the punch landed on Biagio’s jaw out of nowhere. And the next one on his cheekbone, and on his nose. Before everyone around the table had barely stood up to stop Jungkook, he’d already thrown Biagio down and straddled him, pulling his doublet’s collar in a close, tight grip as he continued beating him up. Blood was drawn, but for once, you didn’t mind having to scrub it later.

Jungkook’s influence trumped a whole noble house’s, you learned in the course of the months Biagio tried his mightiest and failed most miserably to have him arrested. Perhaps because of the Pope sitting on his shoulder.

That he’d taken your side was still hard to believe, all he’d grumbled with a shrug when you thanked him while tending to his wounds from the fight being, “I’d been waiting for the chance. I always thought Biagio was a weasel.”

With the matter resolved, life returned to normal—well, whatever that meant in Jeon Jungkook’s household. Because calling for you at the top of his lungs like a madman was not normal. The first time he’d done it you’d raced downstairs, afraid something horrible had happened, only for him to have you close a window as it was getting chilly. Devil rot him. You rushed no longer after that, much to his complaints.

Today, he didn’t notice right away when you appeared under the cased opening, and good thing he didn’t, for he was polishing a bust with sandpaper… shirtless.

Product of hours carving stone into his desired shape or occasionally beating someone up, he could brag of having muscles, which the current task had covered in a layer of sweat and dust. The way they flexed with each movement had you compelled, wanting to reach out, feel if his skin was as hot as the blood pumping through your veins faster and faster. Then your gaze moved to the bust and whatever spell you were under broke.

Hardly an angel was that widowed noblewoman, whom you wished had stayed trapped inside a block of marble. Her name was Madonna Maddalena, and she’d come some weeks past to make a commission covered in pearls, gold, and boldness.

“My friends refused to accompany me today. You’re said to be… disagreeable, which I’m sure is untrue. However, all of them do want to know if you’re as fine-looking as is also rumoured, maestro” she told Jungkook within minutes of meeting him, still by the entrance!

Now you can tell them he’s not, you bit your tongue before it remarked, as this wasn’t Jimin but a patron not to be scared away by your bickering. It wouldn’t be true anyway. All your master lacked in manners, he made up for with looks… Which you’d never say out loud. You’d never say either that he looked even better when irked.

“I’ve heard many rumours about myself, most of them nonsense. My appearance was involved in none.”

She smiled seductively. “I suppose I’ll have to be the one to spread them.”

“The weather is pleasant today,” Jungkook changed the subject, flustered beneath the formal demeanour. “Shall we have wine in the garden?” You left to prepare it not before catching Maddalena raise her brow at you in disapproval. She must’ve been able to tell you thought she was a pompous cunt.

The beautiful flowers you cared for tried their best outside, but the air didn’t get any better.

Sat around a small table, Maddalena explained she wanted a bust of herself by his talented hand to decorate the main hall of her palazzo. You served them wine, not really listening until Jungkook started playing hard to get. The hundred times you’d told him it wasn’t a good tactic to make his labour out to be too prestigious had apparently fallen on deaf ears.

“Any other artist could carry this out, Madonna. I am working for the Pope these days…” he subtly scolded her, a mere mortal, for wasting his precious time. And he wondered why he had a reputation for being arrogant.

Maddalena put his thoughts into plain words, “So why should you stoop to taking commissions from an insignificant widow?”

“Correct,” you said under your breath, luckily heard by none from the background, where you stood holding a wine jug until the madonna raised her cup and you approached to refill it.

“It is then fortunate I’m to marry a nephew of the Pope’s.”

Swayed by her future influence, Jungkook smiled back. “So it is.”

“But not for another week. ‘Till then, I belong to no man.” The suggestion in her tone almost drove you to spill wine all over her. No, better yet: order Bam to sic on her. He’d do it.

Just, who did this woman think she was? And why did Jungkook not kick her out right afterwards? It made you wonder whether he’d enjoyed the flirtation. Whether he would’ve been the one to take things further had his inconvenient servant not been present. It was common for men to have affairs and lovers, but it didn’t sit well with you that Jungkook might. Not that you ever imagined him doing any of that, for goodness’ sake–

“What took you so long?”

Jungkook’s voice brought you back to the present, under the cased opening.

“I was lazing about, as always,” you quoted his favourite false reprimand, making him roll his eyes, your own dropping to the floor when he walked closer.

“In that case, prepare a bath for me.”

“Yes, master.”

You sighed at all the work ahead. That being a servant was worlds better than living in the streets didn’t mean you looked forward to collecting gallons of water from a well, carrying them back, heating them, transferring them to a tub, then washing Jungkook—because you did wash him.

Biagio had hurt his left shoulder bad and ever since, he’d needed assistance in certain activities. Curious how he could otherwise chisel a goddamned bust without problem.

Jungkook’s full nudity only made you blush if you stopped scrubbing, so knelt with tucked up sleeves before the wooden tub he was reclined on, scrubbing away the dirt on his skin with lavender-scented soap you were. Maybe all the stupid feelings you’d been suffering lately stemmed from there…

Head resting on the edge, he was exhausted from the long day of work, taking your rubbing as a relaxing massage. You, however, couldn’t ignore the stinging guilt, what with the scar on his shoulder right in front of your face. He probably felt your breathing on it.

“I’m sorry you got hurt…”

Jungkook fought heavy lids only to see you avoid him. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of him was embarrassing, as when he’d caught you crying, but he didn’t take advantage of the fact to humiliate you. Jungkook may be an ogre, but he wasn’t cruel.

“I’ve received worse for less,” he assured you in a calm, low voice. It sounded soothing to your ears.

“That, I don’t doubt,” you scoffed, glancing at his other scar on the cheek. “Did you also get that one in defence of some lady?”

“You’re nowhere close to a lady.” It could be done, you mused. Drowning him. “This was courtesy of my brother.”

“You have a brother?” It dawned on you how little you knew of him. Surely, most had heard it all about the divine Jeon Jungkook, but you’d never cared enough to learn past the shell of gossip, even after months of living with him. In fairness, he’d never asked about you either. You preferred it that way.

“Brothers,” he corrected you. “The one who did this to me was a wayward fool. Had to teach him a lesson.”

“Looks like he taught one to you.”

“I left with a scratch, he with a limp.” The conception of two brothers hurting each other so harshly widened your eyes for a second, and Jungkook noticed, for he added, “He was whoring around, wasting the money I worked hard to send, bullying our other brothers as well.”

Much made sense about Jungkook all of a sudden. Not his personality, that was incomprehensible. But why he killed himself to earn money and yet barely spent it… He had a family to provide for. Once again, you were reminded of his metaphor. Could an angel be in there?

Carrying on washing Jungkook, you dragged the sponge over to his neck. Then his collarbones, his chest, his abs just peaking above the water... They did look like a sculpture’s, especially wet and soaped, reminiscent of polished marble when the light of the torches reflected on them. Swallowing hard, the back of your fingers gingerly graced Jungkook’s muscles, both soft and firm. Slippery. Whatever possessed you to keep feeling them, you lacked the will to expel from your body, and so without realising your grip on the sponge loosened until it fell to float away, fingertips now free to roam over his abs.

You were slowly trailing downwards, past the water’s surface, when your wrist was seized and held in the air in a warning manner, the startle almost making you scream.

Sat upright, Jungkook was glaring at you so fiercely you feared for your life. But he didn’t say anything and instead just breathed hard, jaw clenched… almost as if he was holding back. Your rising heartbeat was deafening in the silence waiting for something to happen, anything, but what did wasn’t what a side of you anticipated with excitement.

Jungkook just let go of your wrist and returned to his previous position, and you got hold of the sponge and finished washing him, albeit holding your breath the entire time.

Days later, you came dangerously close to being fired.

The Pope had summoned Jungkook—something about a portrait commission—and you were to carry his bag filled with sketches for him due to his shoulder injury. As you navigated the ever-busy streets of Rome with him, the cold autumn breeze made you regret not putting on an overgown. The cioppa you’d bought with your own salary and not stolen. It brought a smile to your lips that faded at the realisation your mother would’ve reminded you to put it on before going out.

The sorrow pestering you turned to confusion when Jungkook stopped walking and tsked, telling you loud enough to be heard by all, “Look at him, the chief of police, with such an assemblage.”

A well-dressed man and what appeared to be his entourage walked in your direction, halting near enough. You didn’t have to ask to know this was his rival, the renowned painter Kim Taehyung.

“Whereas you, like an executioner, walk alone,” he mocked Jungkook, then noticed you standing behind him like a timid child. “Not completely, my mistake. Maestro, where in your barren soil did you plant such a flower?” He walked over to you, intentionally bumping Jungkook’s wounded shoulder as he passed, causing him to grunt lowly. From up close one was bound to marvel at how handsome Taehyung was, but you didn’t need proximity to tell he was a prick. Miles away, you would’ve known. “Why don’t you come work for me, flower? I’ll make you my muse.”

Jungkook scoffed again, “What, for your horseshit paintings? She’d be a fool to.”

Taehyung turned around to face him, feigning confusion with a smile. “But, maestro, how could they be so if you were once heard saying that all I have in art, I got from you?”

"You naturally have to resort to plagiarising my master’s genius if all you do is horseshit,” you countered, earning surprised looks from every man present, some laughs too, you were proud to say. Jungkook was certainly smirking. Taehyung opened his mouth, but you walked past him uninterested before a response came out of it.

“Good girl,” Jungkook laughed while leaving the crime scene, and for some reason your cheeks burned hot.

The incident happened once inside the Vatican.

Its grandiose corridors alone made you feel small, too unimportant to walk them, whereas Jungkook did so with determination, knowing he belonged at the top of the world. What with your tempestuous relationship, it was easy to forget he was famous throughout Europe. His feet would still never be kissed by you. Someone had to humble the man, right?

At some point the two of you arrived at a door flanked by guards, and averse, you grabbed the sleeve of Jungkook’s doublet.

“Do I have to go in?”

“Too good for the Pope, are you?” He shook you off. “Come on.”

“Damn you…” you muttered.

“What did you just say to me?”

“After you, master.”

Telling himself he’d be late if he scolded you, Jungkook turned and nodded at the guards, who opened the door of a chamber whose walls were frescoed with angels and saints, likely by Taehyung, giving off the impression one was in Heaven. When you saw him sat on a golden chair, old and grey, enjoying the tune of a lute player, you felt as though you’d just entered Hell.

The audience lasted for ever. While you stood by the door, Jungkook showed the Pope some sketches of the portrait for him to choose his favourite and then they talked and talked of politics. All you could do was fix your gaze somewhere on the floor and sigh.

“Yes, Your Holiness, this is the servant I mentioned…” A frown proceeded your looking up to see Jungkook somewhat embarrassed, scratching his nose as if to hide his face. He talked of you to others? Doubtless to complain…

With a sweet voice as if he was talking to a little girl, the Pope asked you, “What is your name?”

“None of your business, Your Holiness.”

The musician’s tune ceased abruptly, allowing Jungkook’s faint gasp to be heard. Then fell a short silence spent by the Pope blinking, taken aback. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me.”

Jungkook was quick to fake a laugh, though sweat formed at his temples. “A jest! She meant no offence, Your Holiness, but to make you laugh.”

You held the Pope’s glare in defiance, indifferent to the fact he was the most powerful man in the whole of Christendom.

By some miracle, he let it go, and you left that chamber minutes later with your head as yet attached to your body. Your arm wouldn’t be for much longer, though, given Jungkook was forcibly dragging you all the way out to the streets, pushing you into the first alley he saw.

“Are you out of your mind?!” he shouted, towering over you menacingly. Unlike the day you’d met, you weren’t scared, rather furious as him as you stood your ground. “That was the Pope, you fool!”

“So?”

Jungkook was in utter disbelief. “He could’ve ordered your execution– mine too!”

“Well, nothing happened!”

“Nothing?! I’m sure to fall out of favour!” He paced around, anxiety quickening his breath. “Years of pouring my soul into my craft, of grovelling before the right people, all thrown away! Good God, your attitude may cost me everything…”

“And what about me?! Everything lost to me does not matter?!”

Jungkook stopped to frown. “What the hell are you talking about?”

It was now you who walked up to him. “I didn’t have a job, or a reputation, or admirers. I had only a family, and I never wished for anything else! That monster you work for took them from me. When the foreigners’ armies came and everyone rushed to Castel Sant’Angelo, he gave the order to close the gates as soon as he was safe behind them! You must have been there with him, weren’t you? Well, we weren’t. We were left outside to be slaughtered. And I wish I had been, like my parents, so I didn’t have to suffer the likes of you any longer!”

Tears were streaming down your face by the end, Jungkook just staring back at you. It didn’t surprise him that your parents were dead or that they’d been killed during the Sack, but that it was so deep a wound left festering in your heart that you didn’t mind being put out of misery. He surmised your disrespectful behaviour towards him was also fruit of your pain, especially if you deemed him an ally of the one who caused it.

“The few things I own… They’re wasted on me. Throw them away or give them to your next servant,” you sobbed, taking for granted you were fired. Anyone with half a brain would indeed have you dismissed, and part of you knew it was bound to happen, that you would go back to breaking in fucking churches to spend the night.

So you turned around into the main street, set on wandering until your legs became too sore not to collapse. With any luck, a carriage would run over you. But warmth then surrounded your hand, and you looked down to see Jungkook’s holding it tight enough to force you to halt. Though still mad, a hint of compassion sparkled in his eyes.

“Let’s… Let us just go home.”

Home. His house had felt so for a while now, truth be told. Himself too.

After that, you non-verbally agreed on a ceasefire—avoiding quarrels, that is, which was quite the task for both.

Such as now that Jungkook had you inking down a letter in his name. First of all, did you look like a scribe? If you’d known in advance the lazy arse would teach you to read and write for this, you’d have chosen to remain illiterate. And second, this was your short break before making dinner, intended to be spent playing with Bam. The poor thing was also in the study, at least being stroked by his owner, who was sat beside you on the desk.

“… I send you my regards, may God keep you from all harm. Jeon Jungkook in Rome,” he finally finished dictating, and you recording. “Give it to me, I’ll seal it.”

He was melting the wax with which to do so when the bell rang, to his surprise. Sighing, you stood up and went to open the door to whom turned out to be Jimin. The sight of him brightened you up, and yours stretched his lips into a smile.

“Evening, Y/N.”

“Good evening! I didn’t know the master was expecting you.”

“He isn’t…” You welcomed him in, brows joining at how he continuously chewed on his aforementioned lip and breathed deep through his nose as he followed you. Had something happened…? A decision to eavesdrop was made en route to the study.

Though Jimin requested for you to stay once there, and nothing could have prepared you for the reason why.

“This actually concerns Y/N…” You and Jungkook exchanged confused looks, him leaning against the desk and crossing arms as though he didn’t like the sound of that. Jimin fixed his already perfect clothes before addressing him, “I’ve come to ask for her hand in marriage.” Your jaw dropped. “I know it’s sudden at the lack of previous courtship, but I thought I should ask for your permission before engaging in it, maestro. She’s a lovely girl… and I think she’d be happy as my wife. Worry not, I won’t ask for a dowry or for her to stop working… Although on second thought, fewer hours of service would be ideal.”

This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be happening.

Jungkook must be thinking the same, for he squinted to ask, “Are you drunk?”

“N-No, of course not.”

“Are you sure? You want to marry a servant with little to her name.” He had a point, so you weren’t offended. If politics weren’t the reason for a union, did this mean… Jimin had feelings for you?

“Maestro, you say it as if I were a lord,” he chuckled. “I don’t care about Y/N’s possessions, I’ll provide for her anyway. I’ve… always been fond of her. And I dare say she shares the sentiment.”

Betrayal hid safely behind a look that asked if there was any truth to that. Obviously not! There was no romance in your own fondness for Jimin. If anything, you had thought he saw you as a younger sister to look after, therefore as a protective older brother you saw him. But so shocked were you still that no words managed to come out, and Jungkook’s gaze shifted back to Jimin.

“I’ll think about it. You may go.”

A curt tone was the norm for Jungkook, it was not being granted his blessing that disappointed Jimin. He knew for a fact he was an honourable man, so why wouldn't he entrust you to him?

“Quite well… I’ll show myself out.” he uttered, before making his leave failing to hide his low spirit by giving you one last shy smile you hadn’t the heart to return.

An awkward silence filled the air that even Bam daren’t break. Only once the front door was heard shutting did you walk closer to Jungkook.

“You won’t agree to this, will you?”

“Why shouldn’t I? I have to get rid of you at some point.”

“Rid of me? Like I’m a burden?” you asked, voice rising. How a servant could be so was unknown to you until, like wooden ship toys did when you’d submerge them in a bucket of water as a child, certain guesses surfaced in your thoughts. Trying to pickpocket him, the constant clashing, Biagio, that bath, the Pope… Yes, you may perhaps be described as a burden. But you didn’t want to leave. With a calmer tone, you pleaded, “I’ll behave from now on. I won’t cause any more trouble, I swear.”

Jungkook didn’t deign to look your way as he left, followed by Bam. “You have to marry at some point, Y/N. Otherwise people will gossip.”

Since when did he care about what people said of him? And why should you?

Winter having dropped its anchor, nightfall arrived early. Not early enough, you brooded as you cooked dinner, longing for the day to end once and for all. With any hope, all of this was a nightmare and upon waking up in the morning life would go back to normal. You didn’t even know why you wanted to stay with Jungkook, as the occasions in which you’d begged Jimin to employ you to leave this house were countless. The only certain thing was that you were upset.

Later, after washing all plates and cups, you began to put off all torches lighting the house, finding out in the hall that Jungkook hadn’t moved from the seat he’d dined in. You considered carrying on with your job and leaving him in the dark, but he wouldn’t find it as funny. Instead, you stood before him.

“Will that be all, master?”

The coldness in your expression made him sigh, “Y/N–”

“I shall retire, then.” You turned to leave but were made to stop in your tracks.

“It’s an advantageous proposal for you,” he lectured to whom he must believe an idiot. “Jimin works for me, he’s wealthy. A better match than you could ever aspire to. And he asks for no dowry because he doesn’t want money, he wants you…” His words were tainted with resentment. “He’ll take good care of you.”

Skirt of your dress swirling along, you faked a smile. “If you think so, master, then it must be so.”

He shook his head as he leaned back in defeat. “Suit yourself, but I won’t be the one to reject Jimin. You crush his heart.”

A laugh escaped you. “If you genuinely cared about him, you wouldn’t let him marry a woman in love with–” Oh no. It only hit you as you were saying it.

Jungkook had appeared annoyed, but now he was mad. “Who?” He stood up abruptly—chair’s feet scratching against the floor making you wince—and walked so close you were backed against the wall, face forced to turn to a side. In a low, deep voice, he repeated, less as a question and more as an order this time, “Who.”

There was no way in the nine circles of Hell you’d say it, when you didn’t want to believe it in the first place. For fuck’s sake, why? Jungkook only ever made you want to get away from him. That was the case right now, but then… why were your feet frozen?

Some unreasonable part of you seemed to have prevailed upon the others, casting away all resistance from your body and allowing yourself to indulge in Jungkook’s proximity. You met his eyes without fear, held his dark gaze. It didn’t take him long to work it out, yet he kept close, so close your unsteady breaths mingled, the effect akin to intoxication. He was visibly trying to hold back, telling himself it’d be a bad idea, but you prayed he wouldn’t care.

By God or the Devil, your prayers were heard.

Jungkook finally smashed his lips into yours, devouring them with a hunger you shared and felt growing as he gripped your waist to press you against him. A minute ago, you wouldn’t have imagined his tongue belonged inside your mouth, swirling around your own, and now you wanted it all over your body. As if reading your mind, Jungkook broke the ardent kiss to move down to your neck, which he licked painfully slowly before sucking hard, making you hiss with pleasure. He knew that would leave a mark, the bastard. You wondered if it was meant for Jimin, so he’d see you were Jungkook’s, and in such case you didn’t mind, let your eyelids close to enjoy it.

Steered by the lust possessing you, one hand grabbed his soft hair in a fistful, keeping his head in place where he was sweetly abusing your neck, while the other travelled southwards until it reached his crotch and held it over the trousers, feeling his cock stiffen. Jungkook groaned—a vibration to your skin—in retaliation lifting your skirt. You’d thought he'd take his time, tease you, but after ensuring you were wet enough by gliding his middle finger along your core, he slid it inside and began making beckoning motions.

“Master…” you moaned, legs shaking. Jungkook forsook your neck to pull back, watch how you struggled to keep it together as he added another finger, curling and uncurling them both, hitting all the right places, and unwilling to give him that satisfaction without consequences you groped his erection with the same vigour. Although he was in good control of his expression, his breath quivered against your lips, so he kissed them again, biting hard into your lower one.

He exhaled, “You’re driving me to sin…”

Indeed, the same fingers that held the brushes when he painted religious artwork were buried deep inside your cunt, bringing you the most sinful ecstasy. It made you chuckle. Jungkook took that as the mockery it was and, crossed, pulled his fingers out of you to drag you by the arm to the edge of the table, where he had you sit. Without delay he lifted your skirt again, only this time he also pulled down his trousers to reveal his cock, thick and throbbing, which he pumped as he watched you spread your legs eagerly, ready to take all of him.

With his free hand Jungkook cupped your cheek, thumb caressing your lower lip, coated with saliva and reddened still from when he’d bit it. He could sense your desire, that you craved him inside, had for a while. Desperately. And however much tempted he was to make you beg for it, his own arousal led his cock to your entrance and eased it inside already, another groan hitting the back of his bared teeth. You didn’t have time to gasp, his thrusts so quick they earned only moans, so wonderful did it feel.

Jungkook’s hand on your cheek then wrapped around your neck. “Do you know how often I’ve fantasised strangling you?”

You chuckled again as you slapped him across the face. Jungkook halted his movements in shock, glared at you. “And I slapping you?”

It took him a moment, but he scoffed and pushed you back so that you were lying down, climbing next atop you, confident that the wooden table was sturdy enough to hold both. So legs hooked around his torso and arms around his neck, you welcomed his thrusts, rough enough to make your eyes water. But it felt heavenly, how he ravished you... The mutual irritation and tension building up for over half a year translated into indescribable pleasure.

He kissed you again, flicking his tongue against yours as he pounded into you without mercy. Overwhelmed by the sensation, all you could do to express you were nearing your limit was sink your nails into Jungkook’s biceps at each side of you, moan inside his mouth. He took the hint and fucked you as fast as his body would allow, within mere seconds your walls clenching tight around him. The sight of you collapsing under him, overcome with bliss, made him reach his own highest shortly, spurting his warm seed inside you.

As his movements gradually ceased, so did your panting. Before a complete silence fell, you asked, “Am I still to marry Jimin?”

Jungkook grabbed your face and growled against your pouted lips, “You’re not going anywhere.”

#jeon jungkook #fic recs #ficrec

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