suolakissa - Tumblr blog

[suolakissa]

Medusa and the blind woman in love

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[suolakissa]

I think about this cake every day

[suolakissa]

Population: 201,085

Urban population: 252,468

The submitter commented “posankka.”

[suolakissa]

[suolakissa]

Society’s definition of factory settings is cis gendered, heterosexual and allosexual

[suolakissa]

normal people buying someone jewelry: jewelry store

nerds buying someone jewelry: Etsy

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[suolakissa]

My mother just finished Heartstopper season 2 and called me crying about it because "Is this how you felt growing up? The same way Charlie feels in this show? Hating yourself and feeling like your existence makes other people's lives worse? You felt like everyone's lives would be better if you weren't gay, didn't you?"

Yes mom. Yes the fuck it is EXACTLY how I felt and that's why it means so much to me. Cause Charlie found love anyway. He didn't have to fix it first. He didn't have to become different. He is lovable and worthy and amazing *while actively suffering from anxiety, disordered eating, and self-harm issues*

[suolakissa]

Things I can imagine my D&D characters saying

Either my drow warlock, who is in the middle of attempting to reform Underdark and hated by many, but she keeps doing it for the sake of that dream of a better future

Or my tiefling druid, a Circle of Spores healer who literally gets her power from the rot, the cycle of life and death

it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow

[suolakissa]

shoutout to heartstopper for not shying away from using the world lesbian once again in season 2. actually shoutout to heartstopper for using all the words, bisexual, lesbian, asexual, aromantic, trans. shoutout to heartstopper for not only using the word gay, but making characters reclaim their identities in every possible way. nick always clarifying that he’s bi, actually. the person at lambert saying they’re asexual and aromantic. tara and darcy calling themselves lesbians. it is so empowering to hear it on tv

[suolakissa]

Did... Did Isaac Childres ACTUALLY include a mechanic in his board game where the player actually has to email or DM him a code word in order to receive a clue to a puzzle to said board game? And he only decided to stop doing that and just post the answer to his Twitter in March 2023 (when Gloomhaven was published in July 2019)?

This absolute madperson, I cannot.

I fucking love this game.

[suolakissa]

nick saying he’s bi actually is not cringe!!! affirming your identity is not cringe!! being proud and assertive and sure of who you are and what you want to be referred to as is not cringe!!!!! it’s courageous and brave and prideful and beautiful!!!

[suolakissa]

Just... casually gonna join the Depression Barbie Gang here

[suolakissa]

It's the summer of aesthetically contrasting husbands and I'm living

[suolakissa]

My thoughts about a particular scene in Heartstopper season 2

Content warning: This post discusses elements of sexual assault and abuse both in Heartstopper and my personal experiences. There are also light spoilers from season 2.

So I may or may not have immediately binged the entirely of Heartstopper's season 2 today as it came out. (Pun intended.) I fact I may have binged it 1,5 times, since a friend of mine was only halfway when I finished the last episode and I went back to the start of episode 5 and watched the second half again as we furiously texted each other back and forth.

Overall I adored this season. There were a lot of things that were in my opinion handled a lot better in the TV series than in the original comics – the most poignant being how they handled the fact that Tao was the one responsible for Charlie getting outed before the events of season 1 – and there were some things that I found lacking (mostly how they handled Isaac's character).

But one scene really stuck to me, and that was the scene between Ben and Charlie in episode 7, "Sorry".

Ben has been texting Charlie non-stop asking to talk with him, and he finally tracks him down outside the art exhibition in Lambert Art School. Ben wants to apologise for the way he was treating Charlie when they were in a "relationship" (HEAVY quotation marks there), claiming he is a messed up person and his parents wouldn't accept him being gay and he knows he treated Charlie like shit, but he still liked him and thought he was a good thing in his life.

Charlie's reply is what really hit me way harder than I was expecting to.

"Do you remember the first time you kissed me? You didn't even ask. You didn't pause to wonder whether it was what I wanted, and I went along with it because I had a crush, and I didn't know any better. I didn't realise that you had all the control. When I eventually did realise, I thought, 'this must be what I deserve'. Someone taking whatever he wants from me whenever he wants. Treating me like I'm nothing for the rest of the time. And now whenever anything good happens in my life, there's a little voice in the back of my head telling me I'm worthless and that I don't deserve it. And now you want me to forgive you so you can feel better about yourself? I'm glad you realise what you did was wrong, but you don't get to ambush me into forgiving you. 'Sorry' doesn't make up for everything you did to me. I really hope you become a better person so you don't hurt anyone else. But I don't want to be there to see it happen. I don't want to see you ever again."

I just want to say thank you to Alice Oseman for writing this scene, because it gave me words for something that happened to me when I was a teenager.

I was sexually taken advantage of by a person who I had a burning crush for and who basically used me as a tool for his own pleasure. Someone who knew exactly how I felt about him and who could pull my strings to do exactly what he wanted. He could have asked me anything and I would have said yes because I felt I didn't have anything else. He didn't technically do anything against my will and sometimes I even initiated things, but he certainly didn't seem to have any qualms about going through with them despite him being perfectly aware of just how messed up the power balance between us was. And after I managed to end things with him, almost immediately after that there was someone who I thought I was starting to form a connection with and who eventually confessed he just wanted something physical with me.

I felt exactly the way that Charlie did in that moment. That I am just something that people can take their pleasure from and to hell with my feelings. Not even a human being, just some tool to be used and discarded.

It's been ten years and I have had one relationship since it happened. One. And I am definitely not aromantic since I have definitely had intense crushes on people, nor am I entirely asexual since there's definitely been times I've wanted to do stuff – though I am pretty sure I do exist somewhere on the asexual spectrum since it's definitely not as strong or frequent as I understand allos experience. That is how much those experiences fucked me up, and (as messed up as that is) I still consider myself "lucky" since technically nothing happened against my will or anything. I just didn't realise that I had a true choice back then, or that I shouldn't even have been responsible for making that choice. There is still that little voice in my head telling me that I don't deserve a happy relationship. (Though I have also since realised that there is a lot more to happiness that romance, but that's a topic for entirely another post.)

Anyway... As much as seeing that scene in episode 7 hurt, it was also strangely cathartic in a way. And it was just a beautiful scene in general. So I guess the point of this ramble was to just say thank you, Alice Oseman. Thank you once again for giving the queers something beautiful and painfully relatable.

[suolakissa]

FUCK YOU IM A KITCHEN WITCH