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historical padlocks are just great

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When will my dash stop being ten tons of good omens and go back to ten tons of fan art for dragon age games I've never played?

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Omg, this is so cool!!

I found this adorable Saga family at NYCC! (with me as their favorite babysitter)

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<3

Ardent cosplay ! Commander Cullen ! Dragon age inquisition 🐉

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I take back things people have bought that they've later decided they don't want in exchange for paper to get more things they may or may not want later.

This is fun! Reblog with your poor explanation!

I enter codes so that dudes with hammers can have help when they’re sick or old.

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Your Moana fanfiction is one of the most unique I've read so far. I absolutely adore the idea of Tamatoa attempting to explore the human world like an extremely warped version of Ariel. You write so beautifully and elegantly for him, and I could not stop giggling at his frustrations at being human--especially the nudity part and wondering if humans ate themselves. Yet at the same time, I love that he actually kind of loves his new form at the same time. I can't wait to see what happens next.

I'm so glad you're enjoying it!I watched the Lalotai movie scene and read the chapter over and over because there isn't that much source material but I wanted to be as accurate as possible.Stay tuned for more shenanigans!

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Aesthetic: Imagining any ambient game dialogue being said with Skyrim guard accents. 

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Shifting Tides Ch 3

Tamatoa sat on his haunches and sifted through a pile of treasure heaped up in a corner. There had to be something in here somewhere he could use for clothing. Although most trinkets ended up adhered to his shell, if an object was shimmery enough, he’d hoard it despite its shape or apparent usefulness so he hoped something adequate would show up. Gazing around his lair, he supposed that hoarding might be part of his current problem. Not only was this place a mess, but not a lot of fabric ever caught his eye enough to keep it…when he found any, that is. Most of the time, organic materials didn’t survive long enough in Lalotai to make it to him. Either it was destroyed or eaten. Any poor fool that made his way down here was quick to find out the mortality rate was high, usually by being swallowed whole. This fact of life down here didn’t bother him, as he firmly believed that if you got caught or lost a fight you didn’t deserve to live anyway. Bottom line was that there weren’t a lot of clothes to go around.  

He let out an annoyed sigh and kicked over another pile and immediately chuckled as a particularly lustrous ring fell out and rolled towards his feet. This one had an iridescent teal colored stone set in silver; beautiful, and it fit! So far he had found six rings that fit his fingers, a bronze armband with knot work carved into it and several necklaces of varying degrees of chunkiness. He was used to stacking things on top of his shell, so wearing things the way they were meant to be worn was another experience entirely. He reveled in it a bit, admiring how his hand caught the light, the way the muscles in his arms flexed under his skin, the way his tattoos accentuated the shape of his body. He shook his head, he needed to focus. Priorities! He was still naked.

He gave himself a more critical look. Even though this body enhanced jewelry in a unique way that being a crab did not, human anatomy was still so inefficient. There were certain things that shouldn’t be hanging out like that. He supposed if he really had to, he could fashion some sort of covering out of treasure. Maybe braid necklace chains together? But he got the feeling whatever he tried would be time consuming, clunky, and heavy, with the distinct possibility of also pinching. He shuddered at the thought.

Yet another bullet to add to the growing list of things he’d never had to worry about before. Skin was… stretchy, and it kept getting snagged on things. He kept forgetting that he couldn’t just walk on anything he wanted imperviously and he was continually stubbing his toes on things. He had also managed to get a sizable cut on the inside of one of his fingers. He had no memory of hurting himself and when he stuck his finger instinctively in his mouth and sucked on it he had to wonder if it was weird he liked the taste.

Did humans ever eat themselves? Probably not, he snorted, they were all about holding hands and saving the day and loving each other and… and family ties! Which was all nonsense of course.

Tamatoa took another moment to admire himself in the pool. It hadn’t taken him as much time as he thought it would to become accustomed to this new reflection, despite the trouble he still had moving around in it. He’d been particularly taken with himself when he realized there were gold specks in the skin of his back. He gave one a cursory scratch but it didn’t come off, so he was unsure if it was part of his skin or something embedded in it. Not that it particularly bothered him; it was pretty. Some specks were as small as freckles but there were a few splotches around his shoulders and buttocks that were larger. They blended so alluringly with the natural brown tones of his skin and they were shiny too! He was pleased that his human body fell in line with his aesthetic so well, he just needed to get better at not kicking hard things with it.

Then he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye and looking up from his reflection he let out a triumphant shout. There, in the back, was a trunk with what looked like fabric sticking from the corner. The lock was rusted shut though, and he tried to pry it open with his fingers to no avail. He gave the trunk an irritated look, grabbed a rock and bashed the lock off. Forced to use a rock of all thing! This human body was ridiculous.

He soon forgot his annoyance because this one chest had everything he needed in it! How had he overlooked busting it open to see what was inside? No matter. Aside from the corner that had been exposed there was a whole roll of fabric inside. It wasn’t shiny per se, but there were white strands woven into it that glimmered when the light struck it right. There were also a couple pairs of worn sandals and a long, wicked looking dagger which he took as well. Considering how useless this body was at protecting itself, he’d need to take advantage of all the help he could get. The sandals were a little big but he appreciated the added protection they gave the soles of his feet; maybe he could avoid getting blisters now. At the very bottom of the chest were scrolls that disintegrated into dust when he touched them and some chipped bowls, neither of which he would need. This trunk had probably belonged to a traveling family at some point but now it served as a solution to all his immediate problems.

He unfolded the fabric and laid it carefully out on the ground. It was a few yards long, plenty to make what he needed. The pattern was simple: a row of small geometric red flowers at the bottom chased with umber lines and dots on a white background. He liked the clean cut elegance of it, there was so much else going on with his body that he needed something simple to balance it out. Before he’d just heap as much on as possible but now that he was so much smaller he was acutely aware of any imbalances. His style must be maintained at all costs! He wasn’t gaudy, he was gorgeous. 

He took his new dagger and cut out a strip long enough to wind around his waist and cover the necessary parts, with a little extra tucked in just in case he wanted to cover his chest. His new body was especially sensitive to changes in the temperature being so bald and exposed, and he wasn’t sure how he’d react when he got outside Lalotai’s regulated, stable environment.

Would he need anything else? He couldn’t think of anything specific, but he cut out another square of fabric and wrapped a few more pieces of treasure up to tie in a bundle to his waist. What problem could gold not solve after all? He took one last look around and headed out of the cave.

This next part of the plan was simple: find a geyser and get blasted into the overworld. He wasn’t too concerned with monsters being in the area after the thrashing he had given everyone, but he erred on the side of caution and kept to the edges of rock formations, trees and shadows. After all the work he was doing, he refused to have it ruined by getting eaten. There were too many new things to experience for him to die now.

Ironically, the first geyser he came across was the one Maui and the girl had used to escape, and he had to roll his eyes at the coincidence. He could tell because there were gold pieces scattered around that he had missed and an impression of his shell in the dirt. With a small amount of hesitation, he stepped over the geyser opening and placed his feet on either side. He really hoped he wouldn’t have to wait long because it was seeming like more and more of a bad idea the longer he thought about it.

With a rumble the ground shook underneath him before a jet of hot water shot him into the sky of Lalotai. It was probably an impressive view, but he didn’t see it because couldn’t unscrew his eyes. He wasn’t afraid of heights, but they made him nervous. The only impressions he gathered of the experience was feeling the pressure of air transforming into the weight of water until he was flung into the air once more in the overworld. With a resounding smack, he belly flopped on the surface of the water and began to sink. The shock of the impact drove all the oxygen from his lungs and he thrashed about, inhaling more water than air.

Fortunately, his arm hit a rock while he flailed and he grabbed onto it while the panic he was still feeling subsided. Gasping burning air into his abused lungs, he made a mental note that he couldn’t breathe water in this form. Good to know.

But now he was confronted with yet a new problem: aside from the entrance to Lalotai, there was nothing but open ocean surrounding him on all sides.

Great. Now what?

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Its so fluffy I could die!

Felt Dragons by Alena Bobrova on Etsy

See more dragons

So Super Awesome is also on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram

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So cute!

Felt Cat Houses by Kosata Yuliya

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Duuuuuuude.

So we’ve got a small but powerful token,

originally belonging to a powerful being, but taken by a flawed hero who didn’t know what he was getting in for,

and who is defeated, losing the item into the water.

This token comes into the keeping of an eccentric mortal for many years, giving them long life and vitality,

until they pass it on to a younger relative, and their health immediately begins to deteriorate.

The adorable, dark-haired, doe-eyed new bearer,

carrying the token on a necklace,

sets out to find someone else to take it,

but ultimately must take ownership of the quest themselves.

Along the way, they encounter endless dangers and obstacles,

finally facing their greatest challenge yet at a volcano,

and return the token to its source.

Featuring super idyllic, completely culturally stagnated hometowns,

raptors of unusual size,

Dramatic Tower Is Dramatic,

and tiny boats sailing into the sunset.

tl;dr - Moana is Lord of the Rings without the actual evil.

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Shifting Tides Ch 2

Moana let a tiny sigh escape, and quickly looked around to make sure nobody had heard her. Thankfully the elders were too busy arguing so she settled back into her seat and guiltily tried to pay attention again. There were too many voices clamoring against each other though for a single thread to stand out so her mind drifted off once more. She had never expected being chief to be easy but she had never imagined one of her first duties as the tribe’s leader would be to find out where three missing people were. It was unheard of! Who could have anticipated something like this? She thought restoring the heart of Te Fiti was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do but she was beginning to realize that life had a funny way of constantly trying to one up itself.

Growing older had taught her that and many other lessons, including the realization that problems were seldom ever straight forward, black and white affairs. Life was a series of compromises where you tried to find that happy balance between what you needed and what you wanted. If you could tell the difference between the two at all.

She thought ruefully that Te Fiti had merely been the warmup and here was the main event; wrapped up prettily in a package of desperate fear. She supposed it really was too naïve to think that they’d always be happily travelling, exploring the ends of the earth until she couldn’t go any farther. In fact, it hadn’t taken long for her people to begin discussing another permanent village and start assessing each island they found with a critical eye for it’s potential as a settlement. It made sense really, fifteen generations of stagnation on a single island created some deep seated habits and fears. She couldn’t blame them for being apprehensive, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be unhappy with it either. Nothing filled her heart with more joy than being out on the water, free and uncomplicated.

But then the first person went missing. At first they thought the child had been swept away in a storm, the weather had been a little rough lately and it was easy for a child to be overlooked, to get caught in the undertow; but a week later a teenager went missing. A week after that a woman went missing. The timing was consistent; all the victims were female and no bodies had washed up on the shore. No bodies had turned up anywhere at all. The implications of the situation made her sick to her stomach. She wanted to believe the best, she didn’t want to think that there was any foul play involved but then why were the victims aging up?

“Moana! Your thoughts?”

She bolted up, she hadn’t heard anything!

“Um, what was that again?” She laughed a little nervously, she wished she could just grab a canoe and sail away, or turn into a hawk and fly away… just get away from this fear and heartsickness. She felt like she was drowning. She knew some on the council were unhappy that Tui had stepped down so early. She knew some were unhappy a woman was the successor. Being caught not paying attention looked doubly bad on her, but what was she supposed to do when they chose to just scream at each other without resolving anything!

Akeakamai stood and with the air of a parent patiently explaining something to their child repeated, “We think it best to sail on Chief, though our hunters have found nothing the most likely culprit is a wild beast or a storm. Perhaps it’s best to leave it here and find safer harbors.”

Akeakamai took his seat amid a chorus of approving murmurs, he was revered for his wisdom and thoughtfulness in the village, and right now she agreed that leaving seemed like the best option. However, she did notice that another elder, Henare, seemed displeased; but then again Henare was never one to back down from a fight, or for taking the coward’s path. Unfortunately, he considered any passive course of action to be cowardly; he was a blustery straight forward man and often argumentative. In this particular case though there was nothing to argue, just a gaping unknown that was stealing their women. He looked disgruntled but kept his peace.

Moana straightened her headdress; she disliked wearing it, and tonight it felt even heavier on her head than normal. She felt like wiser minds than hers deserved it more, she still felt young and incompetent. But this was her given role to play, it was her duty to safeguard her people and lead them into a bright and happy future. She straightened her spine and leaned forward a bit, giving herself a moment to compose herself and come up with a chiefly answer.

“I agree, until we learn more the best course of action is to leave. I think it would be prudent to leave our best trackers here to keep searching and take the rest of the village away from Kibu. We can come back in a week to see if they’ve found any answers. If they are… if they are dead I want to find their remains and give them the proper rights, but I won’t put the living at risk unnecessarily.”

The mood became solemn and the torchlight seemed to deepen, casting dark shadows on the wall. Nobody wanted to admit their people were gone forever, but after all this time what were the chances they were still alive? They’d scoured the island and found nothing, the best they could hope for was to find their bones and put them to rest.

But with a course of action decided, however distasteful it was, the meeting concluded and everyone dispersed. There were jobs to do now and a sense of purpose invigorated her people. The morning would be bustling with a new voyage on the horizon.

Moana was left alone with her thoughts once more. She pulled off her headdress with a weary sigh and left it next to her chair. The moonlight filtering in through the windows cast an eerie glow on the walls rather than the reassuring brightness she usually saw. The missing villagers weighed too heavily on her mind for her to see anything but monsters in the shadows.

She held her arms close to her chest and walked down to the shore. Kicking her feet in the water she tried to relax and collect herself, all was not lost. Bad things happen, and you can either run away from them or face them head on. She’d rather confront the issue then let it consume her, but that was harder to do when there were factors outside of her control.

She cupped her grandma’s necklace in her hand and smiled at it fondly, “You’d laugh and tell me I already have the answer. I wish you were still here. I want to be the leader my people need, but I still feel my heart pull back to the ocean.”

Voyaging was simple: you decided to go and you went. Leading a village meant being involved in everyone’s lives, making decisions that may not be liked. It meant laying down roots like a tree rather than drifting like a wave. Sometimes she really felt like she wasn’t cut out for this.

“I’m proud of you Moana.”

Moana flinched and looked up into the eyes of her father and tried to blink back the tears she just realized had been forming in her eyes.

He held out his arms and she fell into them, momentarily feeling like a child again. A sense of comfort fell over her, she was being too selfish. The whole village was feeling the same things she was. She wasn’t any worse off than any of them.

“It is during the hard times that a leader finds their strength. You have all the tools you need; I believe in your spirit Moana. I’ve learned over the years to trust in your instincts, have yours ever led you astray?”

He patted her hair smooth and rested his forehead against hers, “Don’t let fear cloud your sight, you will find our people. Believe in that.”

She hugged her father and straightened up, “You’re right, there are preparations to be made. They’re waiting for me.”

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My theory is that big shell in the back is his grandma’s. 

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Still my favorite Human!Tamatoa. 

This convo probably happened. I need to rewatch FotC and find more exploitable quotes.

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Not mine*

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I have no excuses for this except that I think I’m funny. :D

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Oh, I would love to see more of this Tamatoa humanization fanfiction. There are so many things you can do with this idea . If you want you could post it somewhere else besides tumblr .

I'm actually working on the next chapter right now and when I remember my password I was going to put it on aooo too. I'm glad you liked it, and thank you!