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susu-yah-blog · 9 years ago

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Fuck you - Oneshot [Yunjae Fanfiction]

i cleaned the gushing wound on my left cheek. the wound feels numb thanks to the throbbing pain inside my heart. Yunho's aggression has taken a new level. we never got physical with each other. i chuckled at my reflection through the broken mirror. these piercing black pupils dilate whenever i catch an another patch of broken skin. my hands reached forward, touching the broken glass mirror, cutting my finger on a sharp edge. i took no notice towards the prickling red which was slowly flowing down. my body frail and pale. dark raven hair stuck to my sweaty face. the shirt i wore was ripped and fell of my shoulders, showing bite marks who traveled down towards my collar bone.

'i love you.' i ruffled my hair in distaste. i cannot believe i told him that after the severe beating. 'i'm so sorry, i promise you i won't do it again.' i let out a ear piercing high laugh. i believed him so many times. i believed he would never hurt me anymore. my heart longed for a loving touch, not another bruise. i still remember when we still used to love each other. our cute, romantic moments. our amazing nights together, heated, steamy and full of love. yet these days it only exists of bites, sickening harsh words and a painful tear of my walls. Yunho used to prepare me all the time, making sure i wasn't hurt but now he just takes me. the lust takes over of his mind and body and let him do whatever he wants to do.

the door was opened roughly. my eyes shifted towards the towering angry male in front of me. his piercing almond eyes glared at me in disgust. his hands fisted tightly in balls and his breath hoarse and quick. my mind was a mess, i was scared but my body doesn't react anymore. "Jaejoong, ill ask you one more time!" he fisted the back of my head tightly, pulling against the blonde strands of my hair, just so i can look into those disgusted eyes. "where were you yesterday?!" he spat right into my face. my hands i placed on his chest and pushed him away with the strength i still had. his back hit the wall behind him with a sickly tudd but he didn't notice and neither did i.

"Fuck you Yunho." i spat at him, turning on my heels and walked through the door, right into our shared bedroom. his arm circled around my waist tightly, pushing my on to the bed without any difficulty. i yelped when lost my footing. "YUNHO!" i screamed at him, my body laid flat onto the matras, face nuzzled inside the bedsheets. i coughed a few times because of the lack of air. i struggled, trying to get him of me. his nails dug inside my waist painfully, drawing blood.

"ANSWER ME!" he screamed at me, his hand grabbed my limp member tightly. i yelped in pain. "FUCK JAEJOONG!" his other hand hit my ass hard. i fisted the bedsheets tightly, trying to keep my breath steady. he hit me again, but this time between my legs. i turned around and caught his arm who was again trying to hit me.

"STOP! YUNHO STOP PLEASE!" i begged, his eyes still filled with fury, he pushed my arm away and his fist collided with my cheek. the sting i felt was nothing with the sting i felt in my heart. his hand snaked around my neck, choking me. i widened my eyes and tried to push him away, with no avail. my legs around his waist, kicking his back but he wouldn't let go.

"FUCKING ANSWER ME!" he spat in my face again, his salvia ran down my bruised cheek, slightly soothing the sting. my air completely cut of. my struggle became weaker with each passing second. my vision blurred. i tried to hit him a few more times before everything turned black.

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i still felt drowsy when i opened my eyes. each movement i took, made my body feel like it was on fire. soft snores entered my eardrums as i turned around to meet those beautiful almond eyes closed. my hand slowly caressed my lovers cheek lovingly. my thump pressed onto his cushion like lips. softly pressing them and releasing them, to see them jump back with just a small white wash over them from pressure. his eyes slowly opened. we both stared into our eyes. the smile i haven't seen in such a long time made my heart flutter. "hi." his hoarse voice made my skin crawl with desire. i pressed my lips onto his. "i'm sorry jaejoongie. i won't do it again." he whispered onto my lips. i smiled and nodded my head and kept kissing him. his hand softly carresed my bruised cheek, his lips kissing it lovingly.

"i love you," i smiled inside his neck. i felt his lips twitch and nodded.

"i love you to." he pulled away and stared back into my eyes. "your only mine." i nodded. "i don't know what to do without you." his grip tightened.

"yunnie, it's okay." i tried to reassure him but he wasn't the yunho i knew anymore. this yunho was, put simply, a beast. he didn't feel content with me anymore and he only kept me for his own pleasure. hurting me whenever he felt like it.

"this can never end." he whispered. i whimpered as his nails dug in my hips. "you are only mine. only mine. only mine."

"yun, please don't" i whimpered.

"if anyone will hurt you, i will kill them, your only mine."

"yunnie i love you."

"fuck you jaejoong."

he grabbed my pants, pulling them down roughly. bearing my bare ass into the cold night air. he immediately pulled down his pants and positioned his member in front of my asshole. i crawled away, trying to get away but his hands on my hips stopped me. he forcefully pushed himself inside of me. tears streamed down my pale cheeks but sat still. i was used to this, he used me whenever he felt like it. forcing me to take it all. "YUNHO! NO! PLEASE STOP!" i begged but he didn't listen, his dick kept thrusting inside my frail body harsh and forcefully. my head kept hitting the headboard.

"you will fucking listen to me! next time do as i say!" he thrusted in me with more force than last time. i felt my body rip apart, blood trickle down my pale milky thighs. my mind was a haze, i could only notice the unbearable pain. my heart shattered with each groan of pleasure came out of his mouth. my heart shattered whenever he told me i was a good slut. my heart shattered every time he told me that he hates me. my heart heals every time he told me he loved me.

"YUN , i'm SORRY PLEASE STOP! STOP! ILL DO AS YOU SAY! JUST STOP!" i begged him. my hands tightened the bedsheets, my knuckles white and my whole body sickly pale. his movement got more raw, his rough breathing near my ear, groaning loudly. i felt like dying, but i've felt like dying for such a long time already. one last groan and i was filled up. i felt dirty, i felt like trash. his rough hand snaked around my neck, choking me slightly, not entirely cutting of my air supply.

"i fucking hate you, you fucking slut." i felt a strong shiver running down my spine. his body left mine. i couldn't move so i stayed in my current position, ass up high while the upper part of my body was hunched down flatly on the bed. "yoochun, changmin and junsu will be coming soon. you better be clean and have dinner ready." the door slammed close. i didn't move a single inch until my body shook, neither form the cold of from pain but because of my sobs. i couldn't let them in anymore. the hurt and agony my body has to go through is nothing compared to what my heart has to endure.

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"ya! it's been such a long time! why haven't you two visited us for a long time?" yoochun patted yunho's back before he eyed me. i lowered my gaze but smiled. "aigooo! jaejoongie! you to! i haven't seen you in like a month." yoochun hugged me tightly. the bruises left on my body prickled my senses but i shook it of and hugged him back softly. i felt the piercing glare already set on me but i needed comfort and yoochun was the closest one right now.

"it's nice to see you guys again." yunho spoke. to other he might sound happy and excited but i could taste that foul undertone. "c'mon! jaejoongie made dinner, we should start!" yoochun loosened his hug and walked to the kitchen. yunho pushed the other two towards it as well, leaving me and him alone in the hallway. his hand grabbed my arm tightly, his eyes set on my face. i lowered my gaze when he started talking. "don't you dare to touch anyone, your mine. nobody can touch you, except for me. now tell them that you don't feel well and go upstairs. i can't stand that face of yours."

"they are my friends as well yunho. i have every right to talk to them." i sneered at him. i was angry and disappointed. i knew that i took a big risk and that i will have my punishment but he won't hurt me in front of our friends, i am sure about that. yet his eyes spoke differently. his eyes screamed at me. his body shook in anger but he didn't do anything but growl at me. i bowed my head and walked right past him into the kitchen.

the night was pretty well uneventful, junsu made a few gag's, yoochun sleazed over junsu and changmin... well... changmin was changmin of course. his voldemin, cookie monster, i need more than just one bowl of food, personality shined through. changmin left first, something about a date with some girl. yoochun and junsu were left on the couch, making out as usual, which made me feel uncomfortable this time. my eyes kept glancing over them longingly. i wished i oculd be in that spot. not like kissing one of them, hell no, but being lovey dovey and to actually be loved. i also glanced at yunho a few times. his eyes were glued to the television, watching the news. but after the 5th time it repeated itself i knew he wasn't watching but day dreaming, which made me chuckle slightly.

"it was nice seeing you guys again." junsu smiled and patted yunho's shoulder. yunho nodded and gave junsu his killer smile. "oh and jaejoongie, you promised me last month that we would have dinner together, so when do you want to go?" his puppy eyes stared at mine. i slightly shifted my position and took a quick glance at yunho, who was avoiding me.

"uh... i don't have much time these days, what if i'll call you tomorrow hm?" junsu furrowed his eyebrows but nodded nonetheless.

"okay, well, were off. goodbye! see you next time!" junsu waved at us, arm circled around yoochuns waist and drove of. yunho closed the door and immediately turned towards me.

"you'll call him?" yunho's eyebrow lifted. i lowered my gaze to the floor, trying to distract myself.

"i'll just send him a text that we'll go together... is that okay?" yunho sighed and nodded. "i'll better clean up." i turned around and went back to the kitchen table. i supported my body with two hands, sinking into one of the chairs, resting my head in between my arms. soon i felt a hand patting my hair. i looked up and met yunho's loving gaze.

"you know jae." yunho began. he lowered himself next to me and cupped my face with his hands. "you know that i love you right?"

"yeah... i know... i love you too yunnie." i smiled at him, this was one of those little moments where i felt the love between us again. his caress drove me crazy and i leaned in for a kiss, which he gladly took. our kiss was more of a peck, romantic and without any hard feelings. my arms circled around his neck, pulling him closer. "i've missed you." i whispered. he pushed me away slightly and looked in my eyes.

"i've missed you too." he pecked me again. "you're mine, you know that right?"

"yes, i'm only yours. forever." i smiled. he grabbed my hand and pulled me softly.

"come with me, i have something to show you." my footsteps slowly followed him, our hands still intertwined and i felt giddy. my body felt like it was on fire, not bad but a good fire. he leaded me towards the cellar. i was confused but he was so lovely now that i followed him, with slight hesitation though. the steps down were heavy. my breath hitched as i felt fear kick in. i started to hyperventilate but i hid it. i don't want yunho to know that i was scared of him. "sit here." he pushed me onto the floor before walking over to a bottle. my eyes confused but... strangely... content. he poured the content of the clear bottle all over himself before setting himself down next to me. he hugged me tightly and i hugged him back. then it hit me. the smell... the smell was gasoline. i gasped and tried to push him away but he pulled me against him. "i love you." he whispered. i stared at his eyes. the panic that was just raging over me subsided with pure love. my eyes softened and i pecked him. his hand behind my head, deepening the kiss. i felt like heaven.

"yunho... i don't know what your planning..." i began. my body trembled with lust and fear. "but... do it now... i'm starting to get scared and i don't want to do anything rash." he smiled at me and pecked my cheek.

"you're mine." he fished out a lighter out of his pocked and eyes me. "you will always be mine. if i can't have you, nobody can."

"but you already have me." i smiled.

"i don't want to lose you." he smiled.

he threw the lighter on the ground lightening the gasoline. he hugged me closely before the fire trapped us both. i didn't care, i looked at him and he looked at me. pure love and longing.

within a few seconds we were both on fire.

#yunjae #fanfiction #abusive #mental abuse #physical abuse #yaoi

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susu-yah-blog · 9 years ago

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xia junsu - rock the world album. worth the listen?!

hi everyone!!!

suzy here~!

as most of you guys know, Xia junsu of JYJ came back with his new album Rock the world with his main single, Rock the world ft. the quiet and automatic.

i will talk about each and every song of his album and what i personally think of it. i must add, i’m a loyal TVXQ/JYJ fan ever since i was 13. i may sound biased but i’m hard to please these days. (although junsu can’t do much wrong im my eyes) 1. Rock the world when i first heard this song, i wasn’t to sure. it felt very rushed, busy, as if it didn’t really have a clear image. when i first listened to Junsu - flower i was immediately hooked and fell in love with it. i had to listen to this song 3 times before i started to appreciate it and after that i got really excited. i must say, the song was stuck in my head after the first listen.

2. sweet melody .... HAIL THIS SONG!!! this was my absolute favourite of this album. his voice was clear, and the female singer really added a soft kick in the right direction. what made me love this song was the first few seconds when junsu sang “sweeeeeeet melodyyyy~!” as for the female singer, she had a very sweet voice and while i normally don’t like female singers, i really liked her. she was nice to listen to.

3. this love shouldn’t go away i feel as if junsu was inspired by his musicals. also, something about this song seems familiar. for me it sounded like an old TVXQ song, while i have this idea for a while already, i can’t really point it out. overall, if you like ballads, musical-esk type of songs... this one is made for you. this didnt really fit my taste

4. pretty one word, one name: Hani

5. Fun one of those songs that you have to blast in your car as you drive around the country side with your roof up. all i can say.

6. break my heart ....... *dancing excitedly* this is one of those song that you would hear blasting in a dance club and while i don’t go out much, i would go out for this one. this is love! i had to push myself the first time, to finish this song but i am so glad i made that choice! GO BREAK MY HEART JUNSU!!!

7. still this is one of those songs, that if you feel like crying, you should listen to. especially the first minute. something about his voice makes you want to cry. 8. magic carpet my 15 year old self would absolutely love this song. back then i LOVED nightcore music and for me this song had that type of feel. although sometimes i can still appreciate nightcore, this song doesn’t do much for me.

9. don’t forget typical drama OST song. doesn’t do much for me, sorry junsu!!!! i still love you!

10. Xitizen ...... *sexy time* hey guuuurrrrlllll.

11. You Who Can’t Be Replaced for Someone Else (this title is looooong) his voice reminded me a little of jaejoong’s strangely enough. especially the first few seconds but after that i could hear his strong voice coming through. another one of those crying songs. i have to write these down so i can cry whenever i feel like it. *writes this song down and still*

12. tonight oooooh champs elyze~! oooooh champs elyze~! (i don’t know for which country he really went but i got that france type of feel)

13. is you.... what can i say. perfect for a short walk, bike ride or whenever you feel like dreaming and or staring out of the window. “ijjuu ijjuu ijjuu” conclusion: i probably won’t buy this album but i do appreciate it!!! and i listen to it a lot these days but as soon as it will be delivered i would stop listening to it.

#xiajunsu #xia #xiah #junsu #kimjunsu #jyj #jyj junsu #jyjfromtvxq #worthit #album #newalbum #impressions #impression #albumimpression

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