svperficixl

[svperficixl]

Goodbye.

I’m currently seeking for a reason to exist. A reason to remain in this world. A reason to live. But there’s a voice in my head saying I’m better off dead. Because I feel like if I died, nobody would even notice. I mean, out of the seven point five billion people on this earth, how could my one single life even matter? It doesn’t. Society killed my hopes and dreams, society killed my will to live, society killed me. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to have friends, every good friendship I get always turns out fucked. Because people don’t like me. I’m awkward, sad and boring, I always ruin friendships in some way, and there’s just better people. No matter how good I am to someone, there’s always at least a million people better. It just makes me so tired of everything. Tired of not being good enough, tired of constantly being alone, and tired of being empty. I mean, who knew emptiness could feel so heavy, who knew fake friends would ruin my life, who knew I’d end up like this. End up being miserable and depressed, end up having no friends, end up contemplating suicide every night. I didn’t say anything because nobody asked, because nobody cared, because nobody was here. I guess that’s my fault though because I don’t talk to people sometimes. But to see if they’ll notice my absence and miss me. But jokes on me I guess, because they don’t. So if tomorrow starts without me, it’s okay. Don’t let my one single meaningless life affect you. If anything it’s better off this way. One day, you’ll wake up to find out that I didn’t. And when that day comes, do not cry for me, do not think about me. Simply let me go, for I do not exist anymore, so therefore I shouldn’t be thought of or brought up. Live your life, without me holding you back, without me annoying you, without me in general. Have a good life. I’m sorry it had to come to this, but goodbye.

[svperficixl]

[svperficixl]

Here’s To You

Here’s to the teens who got their hearts broken early and went through that mess of falling apart on their bedroom floors to the sound of their favorite sad songs.

Here’s to the kids who were bullied to the point of near breaking and wished beyond imagine that for once someone would just stop to say something nice in the hallway.

Here’s to the teens who had to get jobs as soon as it was legal just to eat a decent meal and afford someplace to live.

Here’s to the girls and guys who’ve been harassed and touched and forced into things they’ll never truly get over.

Here’s to the kids and teens who have barely made it through the education system even though they worked as hard as they could.

Here’s to the girls who have to brush off harassment because “boys will be boys” and “they shouldn’t have been wearing such revealing clothes”.

Here’s to the people who’ve had to hide in the closet because they know this world is quick to judge and slow to accept even if it’s only love.

Here’s to the people who’ve argued with who they are and have tried to be someone else because they’re scared to be themselves.

Here’s to the parents who have had to stand outside their kids’ bedroom doors listening to them sob and not knowing quite what to say.

Here’s to the people who’ve tried to drink and smoke away memories of people who never cared enough.

Here’s to the outcasts who’ve never known what it’s like to feel like they belong and have kept their distance all their lives just to make other people feel comfortable.

Here’s to the people who smile even when they want to cry and say they’re fine when they’re not even close.

Here’s to the people who have to socialize every day even though their lives are controlled by irrational anxiety.

Here’s to the people who’ve hurt themselves or attempted suicide because sometimes life just makes the struggle that unbearable.

Here’s to the people who have lost someone who made their world go round and had to sit through a funeral when they really just felt like screaming.

Here’s to the boys who feel like they have to be tough and strong and masculine so they don’t ever cry in front of people.

Here’s to the people who never felt right in their bodies and were relieved when they realized they could do something about it.

Here’s to the people who have sat in therapy sessions feeling broken and worthless and frustrated.

Here’s to the people who have looked in the mirror and hated what they’ve seen.

Here’s to the people who have struggled to eat or struggled to control their eating only to get made fun of for being too skinny or too fat.

Here’s to the kids who never knew real family for whatever reason and wish they knew what that kind of love was like.

Here’s to the kids who have to celebrate their abusive parents once or twice a year just because they “gave you life”.

Here’s to the kids who grew up having to raise their siblings because their parents never did anything.

Here’s to the people who made mistakes in their life that rip them apart every day and define the rest of their lives.

Here’s to the people who face stereotypes and slurs and prejudice every single day just because of their skin color or gender.

Here’s to the people who think they aren’t valid or loved and still have to find their place in this world.

Here’s to anyone who needed this. I’m proud of you.

[svperficixl]

[svperficixl]

Drunk Call Chronicles

“Don’t forget all the reasons why you broke up with me, and all the reasons why i won’t answer your messages. You’re learning about yourself and who you ultimately want as your companion. I was apart of that process, and you were a part of mine. You don’t need to feel sorry anymore. You can be better for someone new. Use the pain to learn and grow for the future, even if I'm not apart of it 

[svperficixl]

[svperficixl]

Suicide is our Melody

A thought of suicide is like a song stuck in your head. Whatever you do. You can’t get it out.

[svperficixl]

Anyone can be depressed. You can be thick or you can be skinny, you can be rich or poor, you can have the nicest friends and the best parents and you can still be depressed. Depression isn’t based on what you have and what you don’t and I think people need to understand this.

[svperficixl]

[svperficixl]

and as i watch you shovel dirt onto my body i realize you were the reason i couldnt breathe all along

[svperficixl]

Jules’ mini “dreamin of you” playlist

This is the playlist I’ve currently worked on. Thanks for all your recommendations, here you go! c:

Red Arrow - Gem Club

Faith - Sleeping at last

Lick your wounds - Andy Shauf

Beach Baby - Bon Iver

Never be like you - Flume

I found - Amber Run

So low - Spookyghostboy

Human - Dodie Clark ft. Jon Cozart

Out of Range - Brand new

Mire - Broken Beak

[svperficixl]

you violated me with your eyes. that intertwined with my heart and soul.

[svperficixl]

[svperficixl]

cause in the end all you really have is memories.

(unknown P.B.)

[svperficixl]

Please be careful with me. Sometimes I just get sad and I don’t know why. I’m sorry.

(via bl-ossomed)

[svperficixl]

I miss you.

[svperficixl]

I pray that whoever reads this, God heals whatever is hurting you