at an unserious age (21) for someone who is supposedly a vampire 🧛🏻♀️
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butterfly effect is crazy bc what if he never asked me about cameras and we never became friends?? i would be even more depressed than i already am rn
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confused to announce my friend and i have three (3) whole dating allegations against us now.
the first was our coworker, the second my best friend, the third his online friend in which we'd been playing with for like 40mins before he asked.
#personal#i've also been having trouble distinguishing lately whether he likes me or not.#cause between the allegations; actions; and jokes he makes; the signs point to yes.#however he's a man so maybe that's all he's doing. being a man and treating me like one of the boys#i; however; am often too dense to realize when people are flirting with me or not so i guess i'll never know!#also i said 'yikes' after this rando said he didn't believe us
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update: was otp with my dad when he was taking me home one night and mentioned (to my dad) that i would be taking an acting class next sem. tonight we're playing games with his cousin, and to fill the air i mentioned that i switched my major slightly (to allow a bit of study in a similar but different field in addition to what i wanted to study) and he blurts out, "yeah, tiffany's taking an acting class next semester!"
update pt2: we were at work and he says, "i don't know what you said because i don't listen to you." the IMMEDIATE come back i had for him, and all he said was (along the lines of), "yeah i thought it was funny to imagine you acting." sir that is the weakest fucking excuse i've ever heard.
isn't it beautiful when you tell a man something and he remembers?
#i get it bc i'm nosy when people are on the phone next to me and there's nothing else to listen to...#but also i mentioned concern about the class to my dad so he likely took note because of that#he earned points for this#maybe its bc most my life i was the person who was rarely listened to; or people would talk over me so that i couldn't be heard#but to have little details like this be remembered; to have my name said in a sentence along with something i'll be doing is so... endearin#now i can't really tell whether he was saying it to tease or to flaunt; but nonetheless it makes me a bit happy
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i hate when i can't get a read on someone, wdym you're actually elusive and i can't figure you out. wdym you were singing along to the song you're learning for me and giggling alongside my drunken giggles and then two games later and you're a sourpuss
#looking past the friend i'm looking at to watch me curse them out for saying smtn funny at a bad time#like i can see you staring#INVITING ME TO FLY TO A FAR AWAY CITY TO SEE ARTISTS IM BARELY FAMILIAR WITH??#which would be* ->#INDICATING WE'D SHARE A HOTEL ARRANGEMENT OF SOME SORT#he confuses me so#mini rant
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he irked me so bad earlier i about shut my computer off
isn't it beautiful when you tell a man something and he remembers?
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ALSO WHEN YOU CAN JUST BE FRIENDS WITH A DUDE AND KNOW THERE'S NO ROMANTIC* EXPECTATIONS FROM THE OTHER?
isn't it beautiful when you tell a man something and he remembers?
#naturally the platonic expectations of a friendship remain but its just so so nice#i have insider info without the emotional duress attached#(i say as though i'm not frequently concerned for his health)
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isn't it beautiful when you tell a man something and he remembers?
#this is a bit of a joke... but also slightly true#my friend was coming to pick me up and he told me; 'i'm getting some chai first. do you want anything?'#to which i promtly said that i didnt really care; anything was fine#he said he would also get me a chai then; right?#he always gets them latte style so i made a point to comment no sweeteners; almond milk if he'a getting cream#this man comes to pick me up with the tea and it has a fat-lettered 'alm' on the lid and it tastes like the tea still#its so beautiful
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my social life has been blooming lately and suddenly i'm both overwhelmed and ecstatic.
never before have i had various people call out my name and greet me like this, stop for a few moments to chat. want to hang out with me or invite me to do things with them. recently a photo of mine made it into an exhibition and a friend tagged me in a story posting it and complimenting me.
the most recent relationship i've established has been developing so quickly, and its beautiful. it started off with gaming and small, awkward conversations to grocery trips after work simply because i asked him if he would like to come along. now, if everything pans out, we may even do a roadtrip together near the end of summer.
i am surrounded by other creatives and am constantly in awe by their perspectives, even if at times i am distraught by my own thoughts and abilities that pale in comparison to theirs. even so, they uplift me. my professors encourage me. i have a community that i can claim and proudly belong to.
my heart is so filled with love; it's bristling to experience. a bit scary, too, but only for the sake that i lack familiarity with such a subject. the only downside is at times, every fiber of my being begs me to reject it. the reasons have yet to reveal themselves, but i think it would be in my interest to ignore them, no? everything feels like its going so right, like how a normal person's life should go. so why must i feel as though i'm lacking some vital, painfully obvious component still?
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my pancakes had white chocolate chips in them too. a bit too sweet, but wholly delicious and a great companion for the movie. animal crackers also sound like a fantastic choice. isn't life so beautiful?
i love the modern age. for example, i can watch sebastian stan be a cannibal serial killer while eating blueberry pancakes
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he's just so yummy
i love the modern age. for example, i can watch sebastian stan be a cannibal serial killer while eating blueberry pancakes
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i love the modern age. for example, i can watch sebastian stan be a cannibal serial killer while eating blueberry pancakes
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tumblr asking me if i would like to add tags as though my posts aren't inherently designed to seek out those worthy of them.
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i take off my emo hoodie to reveal...
(wait for it)
an even more emo shirt.
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our arms brushed tonight and my body was alight for a moment. i did a double peace sign and he touched the tips of my fingers with his and it was so gentle and tender. it felt special for a moment even though we're only friends now.
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he'll never know of all the odes i've written him
#why would he? he doesn't use tumblr#also... i say this as though he hasn't recieved numerous letters and encouragements from me
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