It's our first date. Things have been going great. We're both hungry. We start walking around looking for somewhere to eat. We stumble into a Taco Bell. It's 4 in the morning. This is the only restaurant in a 26 mile radius, but it's cool because we both love Taco Bell. I order 2 beef burritos because I want you to think I'm adventurous. I offer to pay for your food, but you insist on covering your own order. You order the quesadilla. 37 minutes pass. We have not received our food. I ask the clerk when our orders will be ready. It's at that moment that he turns around and I see it. This man is actually a broom. In shock and confusion I glance over at you. I notice something I hadn't before. I look closer. You've been a mop this entire time. The fool that I am I hadn't noticed. I see that look in your eyes. It's the same look we shared 4 years ago when our romance first began. It's love at first site. What else could I expect, you're a mop, he's a broom, and I, well I'm just a lowly spec of dust waiting to be wiped from these floors of this Mucho Burrito by the love you'll never give me. The two of you start making passionate love on the countertop. I'm still waiting for my beef burritos.
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this frame from the fallout tv show is so funny i nearly puked watching it
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>be me
>be having sex for the first time in two years.
>with a guy ive spent three years wanting to have sex with. first time together.
>spotify is on shuffle with a long queue
>just settled in to a new position. am about to get my dick sucked. things going great
>queue runs out because gay sex is longer than a long spotify queue
>spotify shuffles her options and out of over Four Thousand Songs offers up the most HONKY TONK BANJO MUSIC KNOWN TO MAN
>i mean honky tonk. I mean so honky tonk it loops around and becomes tonky honk.
>ruins my day.
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Dragons Fucking Car I (Relief), 2016
Jon Rafman
White Carrara Marble 152 x 126 x 20 cm
59 7/8 x 49 5/8 x 7 7/8 in
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3 seconds into dungeon meshi and they’re already living my dream. i love eating things I ought not in unfamiliar ecosystems
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dungeon meshi & steven universe are in no way a 1:1 and greg and shuro aren’t alike at all but can you imagine for a second if marcille was in pearl’s shoes. if falin sacrificed herself to have a baby with SHURO out of nowhere. the things she would do….. she’d be in western elf jail for the rest of her sad gay life
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another volunteer at the cat shelter was telling me that the trick to socializing feral kittens is not to look at them because "if you don't show them your eyes they don't feel threatened" and i couldn't help but think of angels interacting with humans in the same way
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I bet giant isopods are sooo delicious broiled in butter the whole thing is like lobster meat
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“hey bruh lemme stuff this toilet with ps1′s. im gone kill the tumblr game with this one”
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https://wikileaks.org/ciav7p1/cms/page_17760284.html
CIA has a list of kaomojis for infiltrating online communities
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