It's our first date. Things have been going great. We're both hungry. We start walking around looking for somewhere to eat. We stumble into a Taco Bell. It's 4 in the morning. This is the only restaurant in a 26 mile radius, but it's cool because we both love Taco Bell. I order 2 beef burritos because I want you to think I'm adventurous. I offer to pay for your food, but you insist on covering your own order. You order the quesadilla. 37 minutes pass. We have not received our food. I ask the clerk when our orders will be ready. It's at that moment that he turns around and I see it. This man is actually a broom. In shock and confusion I glance over at you. I notice something I hadn't before. I look closer. You've been a mop this entire time. The fool that I am I hadn't noticed. I see that look in your eyes. It's the same look we shared 4 years ago when our romance first began. It's love at first site. What else could I expect, you're a mop, he's a broom, and I, well I'm just a lowly spec of dust waiting to be wiped from these floors of this Mucho Burrito by the love you'll never give me. The two of you start making passionate love on the countertop. I'm still waiting for my beef burritos.
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Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by swordarmsaxelegs and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
497K
Likes Per Post
294K
Reblog Per Post
202K
Reply Per Post
609
Time Between Posts
52 minutes
Number of Posts By Type
Text
13
Note
2
Video
1
Photo
1
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has 411 employees.
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Listening to Hotel California on the store radio and they muted the word "kill" when he says "but they just can't kill the beast" like what are we doing here has humanity not suffered enough
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How the fuck am I supposed to meet a fellow lesbian and then convince her to date me
Don't know anything about lesbians, but maybe if you walked around carrying a baseball bat that'd be really bad ass.
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“Babe are going to bed? How did you get under there???”
“Mreh!” >:(
“Oh, I’m sorry! G’night!”
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Sweet Mother said it's MY turn to throw it down
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listen i need you to know that you can have the most ridiculous reasons to perform self care if it gets you to actually do it. i just became the owner of a beautiful floral floor length satin robe and if that's really all it's going to take for me to shower every day and do my skincare and brush my teeth then so be it
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Just got accosted by some mysterious masked swordsman with custom battle music. I thought I was doing okay against him until he said something like "enough of this tomfoolery" and did some nonsense sword attack that reduced me to 1 hit point. Then he just left being all "we shall meet again my little dove" or whatever.
I hate my life.
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oh…….i had a dream that a religious cult had taken over the city and was hunting me, but I had a little dog I found in the trash named BATHMAT and he looked like a USED MOP and I miss him so much. I want to go back to sleep
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the helpful & informative nilered that concocts a night-time beverage VS the wretched & dastardly nileblue that brews the dark and secret KILLS YOU potion
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Would you rather have a Phineas and Ferb summer or a Gravity Falls summer?
would you rather have endless fun forever or have satan attack you every day
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