#& i know that i need all my hours of sleep to function
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Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
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top surgery…………tomorrow…………
#what the fuckkkkkk#I’ve heard people say ‘practice sleeping on your back for like three weeks prior to surgery!!!’ and as much as I understand that#on the OTHER hand. should I not be savoring every moment of side and stomach sleep I have left#that being at this point probably a grand total of like. 12 hours.#I wish I got a few more things done before im unable to carry shit for like a month but. ah well#like I wanted to get my tv mounted properly so I can use it from my bed. but yeah that didn’t happen#I’m still anxious about the travel part but less because I think it’s too close for comfort time-wise and more because I’m worried my friend#will think it’s too close and she’ll back out last moment and I’ll have to go with my mom instead#that would be a pretty shitty thing to do at this point but idk you never know#the way I have things set up I SHOULD have between 2hrs 15min - 2hrs 50min to get there with the latter being way more likely#it’s a 1.5hr drive NOT including traffic. considering going into SF always has some amount of traffic and there’s construction around sac rn#I am taking into consideration the traffic. but I would be kind of appalled if a whole extra hour got tacked on because of traffic#I’m leaving town during the morning rush But usually people are going INTO sac for the rush not the other way around. and by the time I’m at#the bay bridge it should be past the sf morning rush or at least at the tail end of it#can you tell I’ve been overthinking this like crazy. I mean. you can’t blame me considering if I somehow can’t make it on time I risk losing#my appointment that took me over a Year to get and I’d have to reschedule probably months later#worst case scenario of course but yeah.#anyway. anyway I need to stop thinking about this it’s pointless right now#ghsgahhh how does it still not feel totally real??? I mean I guess cause nothing currently is different in my life?? like I’m just. going to#work like normal. same routine tonight as usual. etc. it’s like it’s all gonna kick in at once as soon as Friday morning hits#maybe it doesn’t feel real partly because if it did I’d be even more anxious and unable to function#fuckkkkk I don’t know dude this is so weird this isn’t how I expected to feel at all#it could be worse of course I’m not really complaining so much as expressing my confusion over it#I’m gonna have so much fucking trouble sleeping before all this fuckkjjjkk#kibumblabs#also I was told id probably get some calls this week from the hospital but I haven’t gotten anything at all so that’s#idk a little nervewracking but it just as well could be a good thing ie; I got all my forms and tests and shit done early so now all I have#to do is Wait basically#guess we’ll see if they call or message me later today
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so i didn't finish the paper on time but on the plus side i Almost know how to play mahjong now
#im like 8 volumes into kaiji pt 3#which is 50 chapters deeper than i was the day before#anyway it's good but im definitely going to it as part of a sluggish avert mine eyes type dopamine struggle#i also havent slept well in a few days and ive become a total baby when it comes to that like i Cant function right anymore#when im a certain amount of tired#the like 12 hours in the car this weekend didn't help with the good restful sleep thing#i fought and fought and fought myself and in the end it's just gonna be a day late. mot that it had to be but it will be#and although i can't see the prof's late work policy i think that's gonna be okay. hopefully#but ughhtjhfhhghjghj im so tired still. ive been sleeping in like 20 min fragments trying to get this done#just woke up from a cool three hours and im (believe it or not) still tired#i havent done the 40 pg reading and i am NOT bullshitting my way through that class i am going. to bed#i know i shouldnt but i cant care rn i'll drag myself to japn and do late work all afternoon but i gotta sleep between those#anyway fukum.oto has a special way of making kaiji cringe that makes me extra fond#like watching kaiji scramble around on the floor trying to find his tiles absolutely freaking out and everyone laughing at him#was so good. he was being too confident this arc he needed to be reduced to smth horribly pitiful that he has to drag himself back together#from y'know? thats part of the fun#ANYWAY i couldn't do that shit kaiji and miyoshi are doing for many reasons but the attention span sure is one#also idk if it's the translation or what but the r slur keeps jumpscaring me in ways that are funny to me for the absurdity#thats a chapter title??? that Doesn't Belong in the chapter title??????!!! anyway#yk when you're so surprised and put off by smth you just. cackle about it? like laughing at a funeral or whatever#it's like that#buh. anyway god im so tired#ive been doing so well this semester but it looks like it's starting. the snowballing.#well hopefully i can dig myself out today after a 14 hr nap. get all that late work And my readings done yk#(<- pipe dream alert pipe dream alert)
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now that the elation of being on-paper sick has worn off i'm back to getting my feelings hurt by innocent posts. anyway someday within the next few months i'm gonna be on a bunch of prednisone or other steroids and then i'm gonna do all my dishes and clean my whole house and go swimming and do my job and fix my life and it's okay that i fucking suck at doing any of those things now because i have a debilitating physical disability.
snide posts about how depressed people need to put on their big-boy pants and take care of themselves are not actually about me because what i am contending with is not depression. what i am contending with is a progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain. that is not the same as being too sad to get up and wash a dish.
generalized spoonie advice and outlooks feel too optimistic or out-of-touch or non-applicable to me because they aren't applicable to me because what i am contending with is not an average spoonie experience. it is a specific progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain.
if i feel bad and need to rest and don't pull my weight in my relationships it's because i need to wait to be treated with steroids and in the meantime i just need to hold on. i am not required to do anything else to take care of myself. my body is eating itself with a condition that has a high rate of fatal complications and literally my only job is not to die.
my only job is not to die. that is the only thing i need to do right now. any posts saying that people need to do anything else for self-care or for being a good person or for having healthy relationships are not applicable to me, because my circumstances are highly specific. healthy people need to take steps to better their lives. people like me need to rest until our doctors can help us because overtaxing ourselves might kill us.
a depressed person being too sad and hopeless and miserable to get up is being lied to by their brain. my brain is not lying to me when it tells me that i need to rest because my body is on fire.
my only job right now is not to die.
#i know none of YOU need to hear this. reasoning it out for myself.#all of this remains true whether my final diagnosis is lupus or MCTD or both.#i'm very unlikely to die unless my pulmonary function tests indicate i have the fatal kind of MCTD#which would suck. but is unlikely.#the 10-year survival rates for MCTD and lupus are both good barring complications. my job is not to let those complications happen.#that means sleeping when i need to for however long i need to. eating thoughtfully. keeping a positive outlook. doing things i like.#reducing overall stress. not engaging with things that upset me. forgiving myself for being useless. being incredibly zen and chill.#taking steroids and seeing a neurologist and doing chemo if they need me to (unlikely). being patient.#it's okay for me to be in limbo right now. it's okay for me to sleep 18 hours a day.#i'm not depressed. i am very sick.#autoimmune tag#on this note i'm gonna figure out something nice to do with my day and see if i can get a few dishes done.
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i knowwww I’m just tired all the time right now because it’s the week before the blood curse but why. why do you have to fuck with my blood sugar. just. give me the cramps and leave, I don’t need MORE ON TOP OF IT
#sorry for not being on here a lot#like my notes dropped from 140 something to 19 and I know that’s when I get busy and ahhh#i enjoy tumblr I enjoy interacting so much#I’ve just been drained for some reason. something bad just feels like it’s going to happen and it’s been making me really paranoid haha#and I haven’t really been able to have true alone time in months. I don’t even have a lock to my room and people will just barge in#sometimes so. not really alone then haha#nights are the only time I’m actually alone alone but then I also need to sleep to be able to function correctly so I have like. 2 hours at#most before I actually need to go to bed to wake up by 9am#idk I’m just complaining rn#sick of not feeling truly comfortable in this house sick of having to be on guard because of my sister. I think it’s really just hitting me#because I don’t have the energy to keep up with it all anymore so I just. don’t. I don’t have those barriers up anymore that I chose to be#up so im just feeling it a bit more. idk if that makes sense
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boys, please, i want to go to sleep 🥲
#alexandra.txt#i don't usually mind overtime#but i'm so tired lately#& i know that i need all my hours of sleep to function#🥲 but if i go to sleep#i will just wonder if we won or not ok#and it will be worst than no sleep at all#just a girlie who likes sport#but like: i only can do this with hockey#i can handle it with f1 but not hockey#i still haven't finished the japan grand prix 😂
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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)
#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive#for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood#i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically#and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol#ANYWAYS#typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in#but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one#like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him#which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know#that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all#also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her#so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me#cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship#so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say#So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic#updates
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Good news didn't oversleep. Bad news got ~70 min of sleep.
I only have to make it 6 more hours until bed. That's doable right? Right?!?
I feel decidedly not good or normal. In fact I might call my current state of everything outright bad.
But a huge plus is that I'm too tired to feel an emotion that's not tired.
#stressed? anxious? pf I don't know her. all i know is tired#people keep saying oh you're young you shouldn't care that muxh about sleep deprivation. and they're wrong. i need my 8 hours a night#or I will not be functional. 3hr are usually the I'm getting weird limit. and boy am I beyond that#personal
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sex, money, feelings dont die

s. you come back home after spending a year away from your friends, suguru geto among them. and you think you've gotten over your suppressed feelings for him, you think
w.c. 11.2k
w. fem! reader, kickboxer/business student!geto! x reader , mutual pining! friends to lovers! fluff!, smut! virginity loss! (but it's not that big of a deal, you'll see why) masturbation!
a/n: ummmmmm I thought about this while watching a suguru edit. this is a little slowburn, but not painful I think idk I stayed up to finish this. will proofread later I need sleep. mwah hope you like.
you are beat up the first morning you wake up in your home after spending a year abroad.
your head is pounding, the light is agonizing to stare into, and your back is tense after spending the last 24 hours running around with the fattest luggage on earth, sleeping on stiff airport lounge seats, and sleeping on the stiff plane seats, or at least trying to.
buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz
fuck's sake
"let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep." you groan painfully into your bed, body short circuiting on the jet lag and reminiscing on the peaceful sleep you were just having.
buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz
"oh my-"
knock-knock
your head whirs up and looks towards where the door to your apartment would be outside of your room. and you hear a faint, familiar voice calling out your name cheekily.
exhausted, you get up and out of bed to open the door.
"as much as I missed you guys, I just traveled across the world and my body is still recovering..."you groan, walking to your couch and flopping onto it, eyes still a bit puffy.
"my body too would also miss the crisp baguettes and wine for breakfasts," gojo slyly comments as he slides into your apartment with one step and plops into your--small--beanbag, his legs poke out comically while he inhabits the light pink ball of foam.
a light whiff of cigarette smoke and cherries inhabit your room too when shoko throws a warm? bag on your back and picks up your legs so she can sit underneath them.
"I told him you wouldn't want people at your door this early." she sighed aloofly.
"nothing a breakfast bagel can't fix." gojo snickers
you finally open your eyes and sit straight up, digging into the brown paper bag that was once on your back
"or two." he adds, watching with a smirk as you take a hearty bite out of the first bagel
when you gulp it down and clear your throat, you point a finger at him then to your suitcase in the corner of the room, "there are four boxes of pierre herme macaroons in there with your name written all over them."
"aw you thought about me."
"yeah I really do," you speak gruffly between heavenly bites, "paris doesn't make this shit."
"there's no bagels in Paris?" shoko tilts her head, a blank look in her eyes
"shut up, you know what I mean." you almost moan, faintly rolling your eyes back in pure bliss before forming a realizing thought and turning to gojo, "did you come here this early for your macarons gojo satoru????"
his smile is blank and so are his eyes, you can tell, even through his stupid glasses.
"eat that second bagel, why don't you, my favorite friend who I've missed so dearly."
right before a slight scowl forms on your face, shoko interjects.
"he did cry when nobody else wanted to drink the nth pornstar martini with him at the function the other day."
"hey!"
you giggle a little and feel your sleepiness and grumpy mood fading away. (thank you gojo's breakfast bagels and shoko's disrespect)
"no need to worry anymore babygirl, daddy's home." you smile, lazily hugging the armrest of your couch
gojo huffs and puts a hand close to your face, "I saw your stories unfaithful slut, those cheese fiends were matching your freak, with espresso martinis of all things."
"but did I ever drink a pornstar martini without you?" you poke back, slapping his hand away
you can tell gojo is thinking and has been left speechless, but just as much as he's a victim to shoko, so are you.
"that she posteddddd."
"you guys are not allowed to wake me up this early and bully me, either of you," you state as you jump up and address the both of them before heading to your fridge to serve yourself some water.
"anyways, where's suguru?"
"training." shoko answers airily as her head lolls onto the armrest.
"he's been super focused lately right? I think he deactivated his instagram like the first month of me being in France."
you remember feeling bummed out every time you posted a pretty picture and never saw him in your views.
"that's an understatement," satoru scoffed snarkily, "I do not understand such a dedication to kickboxing when he's deadset on business."
"can't a guy have hobbies?" shoko questions, not at all seemingly bothered by Geto's dedication to sport such as satoru is.
"you guys want coffee?" you ask, about to turn your back to turn on ur espresso machine.
"yes," gojo says before adding a quick, "but from the cafe two blocks from here."
eyes squinted, you turn again and lean against your kitchen countertop, "I literally have a coffee machine."
"you drink that pretentious small espresso shot crap, weirdo, I don't want that"
"okay but I can just pour milk for yours?"
"I doubt you can make an iced vanilla biscoff latte here." he scoffs
"satoruuuuuu~" you whine, exhaling as you stare up at your ceiling, "I have to wash my face and get ready! I wasn't mentally prepared for that."
"I'll buy you a pistachio matcha latte," he grins, toothy and sharp, "with that creamy oatmilk you like that's an extra 2 dollars."
"I missed you and your bank account so, so much," you say whole heartedly, sending him quick air kiss of appreciation with your middle and index finger as you trot into your bathroom to start getting ready.
on the walk to the cafe, you fight and try to suppress the wondering your conscious has for suguru geto.
you're friends, have been since your freshman year of college, and that's all you have been. there's always been a feeling there in regards to him, but you've never touched on it for more than you've thought about it (repeatedly.) you just couldn't bring yourself to break that peaceful friendship or to even think about crossing it.
sure you noticed the day he deactivated his socials.
sure you like wearing his hoodie/jackets and acting like nothing of it.
but it's not like you took up the scholarship offer in Paris because maybe your favorite city in the world could distract you from hoping he'd ever flirt with you.
it did
"oh is that the rock climber?" shoko asks as she peers over your shoulder and onto your phone.
"indeed it is," you mutter cheekily as you answer the French fling's text, "he thought I was leaving tomorrow instead of yesterday, lmao"
"no goodbye sex?"
"fingering me is hardly sex," you look at her with a side eye
"woah, couldn't get over the 50/50 thing after all huh?"
"never," you sighed, putting your phone back in your pocket, "the least he could do was service me a little with a few orgasms after I had to pay for my own drinks."
"so who did you fuck?" satoru interjected, visibly curious as he stood in line with you guys and simultaneously read the coffee menu for any new sugary drinks
"nobody," you sighed, "didn't feel like anyone was worthy losing my card to."
but all this and here you are, shoving thoughts of him to the back of your mind. it's all become so natural that compressing any thought of geto isn't an overthought process anymore. you've forced yourself to become near careless about him, silencing the voice that cares every minute of every day. you don't know if you're in love with him or containing a small crush on him, that's how scared you are.
"understandable," satoru reasons, whilst picking his phone out of his pocket to read something.
"hey, look at that, haibara wants us all to come for drinks at his place tonight," blue eyes sparkle at you from beneath his glasses that he's purposely let slide downwards, "you know he makes the best lychee and passionfruit martinis."
"and dirty martinis." shoko pipes in
both you and gojo stare at her in slight disgust before he returns to giving you his puppy face.
"as long as there's a ride home involved, I hate sleeping at other people's places."
satoru stands straight up in glee and claps his fingers together, "great! don't worry about that, suguru doesn't drink anymore because of how uptight he's been lately."
the whole day becomes hang out with satoru and shoko day after that. you can't exactly go home by the time you're done with your matcha latte and your stomach starts rumbling for lunch, especially when trust fund baby satoru offers to pay for lunch. then he drags you both into a museum he's been wanting to see, and suddenly it's nearing sundown and it's time for dinner.
"let's go buy pizzas for haibara!" satoru exclaims with a pep in his step as he leads the way for you and shoko to follow after him.
when you get to haibara's apartment, everyone's already there.
various chimes of your name are said as you begin to greet everyone after being away for so long.
utahime hugs you particularly tight and fusses over you, "thank god you're back, you look so beautiful, shoko's too careless to have conversations with sometimes."
fearing your friend would be offended, your mouth open and closes, unable to figure out what to say until you turn to look at her sleazed on the couch and already lighting a cig.
"it's true," she shrugs
"I'm glad to see you too hime." you smile, embracing her in the hug again.
you hear a familiar voice speak when you let go of the embrace
"there wasn't really anything for me to wear haibara, had to settle for this shirt."
geto stands at the door to haibara's bedroom, one hand up and holding onto the frame as he calmly peers down at his shirt and then to the owner of it.
why was he wearing haibara's shirt? and why does it look so...
and suddenly he's looking at you, eyes softening just a bit as he greets you by your name and starts to walk towards you.
you'd imagined, hoped seeing him again would warrant more excitement from him, but no he's still the same calm and collected guy he's always been.
"suguru" you smile, ignoring the way your heart races at the side hug he gives you
well, his body isn't the same. god, how often has he been training? you didn't know his arms could be that veiny.
"satoru texted me that you've been with him and shoko all day." he starts, lips only slightly, minisculely turned upwards as a way of being polite towards your presence.
"since eight in the morning." you sigh, looking over at the freakishly tall giant already breaking into one of the many pizza boxes he bought.
"he missed you." suguru looks at his best friend too, making a face of disgust for a moment when satoru finishes a pizza in two bites.
"I missed him too," you breathe, smiling a little, "wallet or no wallet."
that makes suguru laugh and you're so thankful tails evolutioned off of humans or else you'd have a hard time controlling the urge to wag it back and forth at the reward that was making geto suguru laugh.
"I missed you." he says once his laugh falters away
"me too." you respond, fighting the awkward and terrible pit in your stomach
did he really miss you? miss you? how much did that mean for him?
it doesn't seem like a lot because he gives you a small grin before walking towards shoko and striking up a conversation with her. and gojo hithers you to him from across the room to start drinking your first martini of the night.
you've forgotten how drunk you get with gojo.
your vision is tunneled and you dont know what time it is or what is even what.
"oh brother." you groan, stabilizing yourself on the kitchen countertop. you had gotten up from being sprawled on gojo's back on the floor because you wanted a slice of pizza and the journey seemed quite treacherous now. so far, yet so close. you just had to open that pizza box.
until a hand made its way into your vision, opening the box, getting a slice, and offering it up to you. its a pretty hand, a silver ring on the index finger, veins running up it and onto the arms
of suguru
he's smiling fondly at you
"hungry?" he asks in amusement
"yes, thank you." you gulp, otherwise unable to show how flustered you are due to the immense alcohol in your system and insatiable hunger.
once you take the slice from him, geto begins to slide a chair out and helps you land on it considering it was a little high.
he sits across from you on the kitchen island.
"parmesan?" he has the bottle in hand, jeering it to you
"mhm" is all you can say through a muffled mouth and take the parmesan bottle for yourself.
"is this anything like the pizza over there?" he asks again in amusement
"no," you shake your head gruffly, almost groaning from how wonderful the taste is on your inebriated mouth, "but I can appreciate this right now."
you feel as if you've finished your pizza far too soon, knowing that the part of you that's embarrassed is subdued and screaming that you've been far unladylike in front of suguru, who eyed satoru so disapprovingly when he did it.
suddenly,
"you have some..." suguru leans over just a smidge and brushes your cheek with his thumb, "...parmesan dust."
"oh," you try to keep your jaw closed amid the surprise of his actions, "thank you."
"you want another slice?" he nudges his head in the direction of the box next to him, eyes innocently waiting for a response.
he sees you open and close your mouth again, hesitant on a response before he decides for you and gets you another slice.
"you need something else in your stomach to keep the martinis some company." he smiles a little and motions for you to look at the plastered satoru on the floor, "he's done already, so don't worry."
"thank you." you almost pout as an appreciation to his mercy and figure you should ask what was on your mind earlier, after chewing and swallowing a bite gracefully. you were going to be more conscious of this second slice.
"why are you wearing one of haibara's shirts by the way?"
"Oh," his eyebrows only raise a little and he looks down at the extra tight black shirt, "he was trying to imitate those street vendors that make slushies out of regular soda before you three got here."
"and haibara being him, I figure somewhere along the lines it erupted all over you." you giggled a little, imagining the mess
"that you are correct." geto smizes. he then looks around to the various bodies thrown across the room and zones in onto the floor.
"are you ready to go now satoru?" he asks, one brow quirked up, wondering if his best friend heard him or not.
you turn a little to look at him too and he only turns his face so that his cheek is resting against the floor.
"I don't think I'm even ready to get up," he grumbles, "you guys can go without me, I'm fine right here for the night."
feeling alert already at the idea of being alone with geto, you ask satoru if he's sure
"your back is going to hurt a lot in the morning Toru." you plead internally
"don'ttttttt careeee." he burbles
you're about to open your mouth to urge him again, but suguru gets up and nudges your arm lightly, keys already in hand, "don't worry about satoru, he doesn't have anything important tomorrow anyways."
then his hand is reached out towards you, probably to help stabilize you as you get off the ridiculously tall chair.
hazily, you take it and start to follow him out of the apartment and to the parking lot
his back looks really good in that shirt, you note. every muscle is carefully outlined, every movement of his being emphasized.
"hey," he turns his head over his shoulder to peer down at you, "why're you back there."
suguru then reaches a hand behind your back lightly and motions you to walk in front of him.
"oh, my bad," you murmur, having been snapped back into reality.
the rest of the walk to his car is quiet. and when you get there, suguru's leading you to the passenger seat, opening the door for you, and leaning in to buckle you in without even asking if you could do it.
when he starts the car, you see the time on his front screen.
3:43
"oh my god," you gape at the time, then look at geto while he starts to back out.
one hand on the back of your seat.
"hm?"
and that's all it takes for you to resume what you were going to originally say, finding all the scattered gibberish in your brain to form and communicate the thought.
"weren't you telling utahime that you had to get up early for training? it's so late..." you point at the time
"I do," he shrugged, eyes on the emerging road
"I'm sorry," you lightly pout in guilt
suguru gives you a quick once over and he grins so faintly, "I don't mind."
"let me send you money for a coffee or something." you turn in your seat to look at him pleadingly, eyes scanning him for any hint of resentment
he laughs
"I'm flattered," he smirks, amusement lingering in his tone, "but I'm not taking your money."
you slump in your seat at the rejected offer before you remember something and quirk up in your seat a little
"at least let me give you the gift I got you when we get to my place?"
"sounds like the perfect exchange." he nods
when you wake up, its 1 p.m. and you're surprised you slept through the many alarms on your phone.
you remember everything from the night before and you're not hungover, thank god.
oh
you reminisce on the moments you shared with suguru, even the ones you're embarrassed about.
"arghhh why did I force him to walk all the way up for his gift," you groan into your pillow, "wasted like fifteen more minutes of his time."
a small shriek leaves you as you headbutt yourself on the bed, "why did I do that."
its been about a week and a half since haibara's hang out. which has given you enough time to finally get used to being back home. you reorganized your place to accommodate for all the trinkets and decor you brought from Europe and cleaned out your closet.
you finished everything in time for your hangout with satoru
"Hey Toru." you lean down to give him a quick hug from where he's seated snugly, slurping on a sundae
and suguru
"hey." you breathe, not gulping when he gets up and hugs you to greet you.
when you sit down, you notice your heart is racing and your breathing is just a bit labored
probably the long walk over
"we got you strawberry mochi and a matcha latte," gojo mutters through the straw he's still slurping on, eyes zoned in on particularly nowhere? on the table in front of you all.
never separate this man from his sweets...
"oh thank you satoru." you say appreciatively, happy he thought of you
"thank suguru," he mutters back, "he paid."
your eyes drift to suguru, who smiles unphased, and lifts a hand up to minimize the gesture of paying for you, "satoru knew your order already, I just offered to pay."
"oh," you try not seem too disappointed that he didn't go out of his way to know your order, "well, still, thank you."
"it's no problem." he settled back into his seat comfortably
"didn't offer to pay for my sundae." satoru rolled his eyes
geto's eyes creased a little, as if internally smiling, and said, "didn't you eat out almost a third of my fridge yesterday?"
"whatever," satoru rolled his eyes, "buy me a second sundae then, im already finishing this one up."
"I'm not familiar with anything you've just said. are you feeling light-headed?"
"oh puh-lease," satoru starts to nag, "you can hear me just fine. stop acting like an idiot."
suguru fakes a look of confusion and concern, which makes satoru bolt up out of his seat and start heading towards the door to enter the parlor. and you're pretty sure you hear him say something about taking a bite out of your mochi when you're not looking.
the idiocy makes you giggle a little and you don't notice when suguru turns his head from looking over at a grumpy satoru to you, a slight upturn of his lip at being able to make you laugh.
flash!
after a blinding white light attacks your eyes, you're met with five schoolgirls, all with their phones out.
you'd think they'd be ashamed but?
"you guys are going on my Pinterest!" one giggles
another one is laughing almost as if she's on a sugar rush, very manically, "I hope my boyfriend is as hot as him one day. oh my god. aha aha ahahahahah!"
"you're so so so pretty." a ditsy one with a valley accent deadpans, nearing your face and making immense eye contact, "I know that you guys have the hottest sex."
your jaw drops and you look at suguru in shock, embarrassment out the door at being a coupe and more surprised by the actual words these teenagers are spilling out.
suguru's no better, no other movement on his face except for his raised eyebrows and wide eyes.
the ditsy one speaks again before they start to trail off, "I'm using you as hairspo for my next hair appointment."
and it goes in one ear and out the other because your mind is still stuck on the, 'I know that you guys have the hottest sex.'
what the fuck? what kind of crap was she imagining?
what was she thinking about?
hottest sex?
like flashbacks that never happened, vivid images of you on your knees and suguru drilling into you from behind play in your mind quickly.
he's so big in person and the thought is so palpable when he's next to you...
stop!
you feel your cheeks heating up and a shiver runs up your back.
you try to laugh to brush it all off, "they were probably high or something. or just really really extroverted..."
the tips of suguru's ears are the slightest pink as he finally makes eye contact with you.
"yeah," he breathes, "without a doubt."
"what were those schoolgirls yappin about?" satoru asks, a bit careless, as he plops back into his seat, a new sundae in hand
"nothing."
"nothing."
satoru glares a little at the both of you, his brow quirked up a little, "yeah sure."
you're shopping later at the mall with the both of them, a slight awkwardness between you and suguru that the both of you cover up by only really interacting with satoru and not the other unless satoru was involved in the interaction.
satoru is drowning in what looks like eight bags of clothes when he halts your walking and jeers his head towards the store next to him.
Victoria's Secret
"Didn't you come with us so you could buy new stuff here?"
Yes you had.
But that was before a group of teenagers made you feel awkward about discussing/associating anything nearing sex with suguru now.
"yeah..." you try not to stutter as you start to walk in
god, satoru is so unabashed and careless that he's going to accompany you too. and if satoru goes in, so does suguru. if suguru didn't want to, he would surely have to right now or else satoru would question him.
you know what, maybe suguru isn't overthinking it like you are. surely he isn't clinging on to the idea of sex with you.
yes, exactly.
bracing yourself, you walk into the store, pick up a bag, and ready yourself to start filling it up.
you've forgotten about your awkwardness with suguru after a while of being amazed by all the pretty options in front of you
and satoru, for the most part, is quite mature in this store.
for the most part...
"ha, look at those," he points at a mannequin wearing crotchless panties and at the same panties decorating the table beneath it, "get them."
disgruntled and rolling your eyes, you respond, "yeah sure when I'm getting screwed."
"girls wear lingerie for themselves you know."
"yeah I know," you huff, "and I do. but I can wear crotch on lingerie under my clothes. that's just plain old porn panties for not single people."
"you're such a debbie downer," he groans, "if I were a girl, id wear those with or without out a man."
"well, im a girl and you're not so." you say in a sing song voice as you check out a bra in your hands and toss it into your shopping bag.
"wait where's suguru?" gojo says, having noticed that his best friend's presence was quiet.
and that was all it merely was because suguru was scrolling through his phone, seemingly unphased by the store, paying no attention to what you and satoru were looking at.
"oh." gojo shrugs before he moves on to checking out more underwear with you.
and he spots a particularly cute set of babydoll's that you've grown enamored with, staring at all of them.
"those are very cute," your white-haired friend says
"and very expensive," you whine, having seen the price tag on one of them, "I don't know which one I want to take home."
"hm," satoru whirls around and looks between the mannequin wearing the see through pink one and the see through baby blue one.
"hey suguru." he calls out
suguru looks up from his phone and is slightly confused by where satoru's standing.
satoru has his chin in his hand, "which one do you think would look better on her."
suguru faintly gulps and quickly regains his normal calm confidence, slipping his phone back into his pocket.
"whichever one she'd feel the best in." his eyes smile for him
"oh don't be a prude," satoru gags before pestering him again, "really, pick one."
"why don't you pick satoru?"
"because I think both are too pretty." his eyes gleam, staring at both of the babydolls in question
suguru sighs then looks at you, who so happens to already be eyeing him down, eyes wide for a response.
"the pink one." he mutters quickly, eyes immediately darting away.
there's a loud sigh of relief from satoru when suguru finally makes a decision and you pick up the pink one sitting at the table.
"I think that's all for me," you breathe, skimming over the rest of the store quickly.
and before you make your way to the register line, you stop near suguru
"thank you sugu."
it's a Friday night that you've got all yourself the next month following the incident with those girls and suguru.
you've shaved, washed and blow dried your hair, did a thorough skincare routine, and put on the babydoll you bought last month.
you feel hot and have plans...in mind.
you've seen a little bit of stuff on twitter just for a spur
and there you are, sitting on your dildo, cheeks heated as you sit up and down on it.
you're unabashedly thinking about suguru.
truth be told, you haven't been able to get him off your mind since those schoolgirls planted the thought of that hot sex with him.
he's just so big and lean.
god
you remember satoru making you go with him to pester suguru while he worked out, considering his gym was next to his apartment complex and he had agreed to invite you both and shoko for a watch party of the scream movies that day.
he looked mad when he trained on his kickboxing, eyebrows furrowed and eyes dark on whatever he was taking out his strikes on.
you figured he'd make a similar face beating your pussy up.
that same trail of sweat making its way down his spine. thigh veins twitching all the same at the force he'd use on you.
"su-"
knock knock
the blood drains from your face and you immediately feel yourself getting dry
"oh my god, who's here at 10 p.m.?!" you whisper shout to yourself as you scram to put your dildo back in its hiding place and through your night robe on.
you take a breather and check through your door's peephole
a big blue eye meets yourself and zooms out when satoru leans back and reveals that suguru is also with him.
you open the door quickly, slightly angry.
"why are you guys here?"
you keep your eyes on satoru, afraid even looking at suguru would reveal somehow that you'd just been vividly imagining sitting on his dick.
satoru seems impressed as he looks at your very short night robe, thighs out in the open and he shrugs, raising a bag of fast food in his hand, "wanted to hang out with you."
unable to refute his friendly gesture, you move so that the both of them can come in.
"you were ready for bed early," he comments, setting down the food on your kitchen island.
"it's ten p.m. satoru." you sigh, spotting that they didn't get drinks, so you try to find some cups for the Diet Coke in your fridge.
you realize they're in a cupboard.
that you'd have to lean up to
you're about to ask satoru to help you, but he's far too focused in setting out the food for all of you and suguru's just there, standing watching you and satoru, mostly you, in awkward silence.
"um, suguru," you pipe
he fully turns his attention to you. argh, you didn't think having 100% percent of his attention would be so drastic than having 80% of it as opposed to earlier, but it did
"can you get some cups from here?" you point at the cupboard, "I'd get them but uh-"
you look down at your very short nightrobe and exposed skin and suguru's ears turn pink at the tips
"yeah, no problem." he says quickly, moving to open the cupboard and gets out three ceramic pink cups.
you, meanwhile, open your fridge and get the Diet Coke jug you've had chilling, thankful you put it in the top shelf and not the bottom, having avoided the risk of bending to get it.
you sit down next to suguru, unfortunately, since satoru took the single seat across.
"so," you start to pour drinks for all of you, "what were you guys up to before this?"
"nothing," satoru mumbles through a mouthful of fries, "we were supposed to watch t.v. at suguru's place but the internet went out in his building."
one of your brows raises, "and you came to hog my t.v.?"
"no," satoru glares at you a little, "the burger place was right by your place and I wanted to stop by."
"plus," he adds, "I didn't bank on you being ready for bed so early."
then something lights up in his head and he stares at you quizzically, a smirk forming, "were you getting off before we got here? is that why you're all dolled up and dressed for bed like you've got first name dil last name do coming over?"
"ugh," you groan, "gross, satoru!"
"shoko and I went with you to buy that eight inch purple girth monster," he laughs, "you were sooooooo on it."
you roll your eyes and decide to ignore him, taking a bite out of the burger in front of you.
"take it easy on her satoru," suguru swoops in softly to defend you, "I remember how disgruntled you were when I found you with the door open during our time as roommates."
"hey! we agreed to never mention that to anyone else!"
you start to laugh, embarrassment only a tinge less than it was before, thanks to suguru.
although their sudden presence had interrupted your orgasm, you looked forward to the moment in which they would leave.
but satoru somehow, being the annoying giant he is, finds a way to make suguru and him stay the night at your place.
"satoru, I don't think my back can support sharing this couch with you." suguru tries to reason
"oh come onnnnn, we've shared less at frat parties before" satoru chippers, beginning to roll himself into a ball in one of your blankets.
pitifully, you share a look with suguru and hand him a blanket.
"sleep well guys." you yawn before turning off the lights and heading to your room.
your very empty room.
and you can feel your panties dampening again.
no you shouldn't.
you get into your bed and stuff yourself under covers, hoping your body gets the message that it needs to sleep.
it doesn't
so you count sheep.
nope
force your eyes closed and hope it just knocks you out.
nope, you were in that weird limbo of sleep and no sleep.
you don't know how much time has passed but you assume its late enough that both of the boys are asleep, so you shoot up out of your bed and lean over to open your nightstand, flipping your covers off in the process.
the desperation never wore off, your panties were drenched and you didn't even have to play with yourself to spread your lubrication or open yourself up a little.
biting the bullet, you lift a leg up with one arm and use the other to press the head of your dildo inside.
your breathing was extra labored, but that was nothing compared to the moans you'd let out if your friends weren't sleeping in the room next door.
then you start fucking it into yourself slowly, inch by inch, and it feels oh so good. even if it was see through, you pull down the straps of your nightgown and let your tits out, letting the air hit them and put you in a further state of vulnerability.
then in a matters of seconds, you're pounding yourself as hard as you can without making a noise from either lips.
your eyes are rolling back and it's hitting that angle so well that-
the relief washed over you faster than expected, orgasm a little ruined because you wanted to relish in the feeling longer.
so there you are, dildo still inside, one hand over your stomach while you let your breathing go back to normal.
"I needed that anyways." you whisper to yourself, feeling your chest heaving up and down.
knock knock
"you've got to be fucking kidding me." you shriek to yourself in the quietest manner possible as you rapidly stash your dildo away and fix your nightgown back on.
you dash to your door and open it a little, only letting the top of your head and eyes peer through the side considering what you were wearing.
there's suguru, hair down and shirt ridden up just a little, face a little surprised at the way you opened the door
"yes?" you ask, quickly peering at his happy trail
"is it alright if I use the restroom?" he asks, a little sleepy
"yeah," you gulp, "just let me get back in bed so I'm not indecent when you come in."
"alright, just tell me when."
and you leap onto your bed, immediately tugging your cover on top of you.
"you can come in." you say meekly, hoping he can't see how disheveled you are. the moon was especially bright tonight and it always lit up your room nicely during nights like this.
suguru opens the door immediately and smiles at you a little as he walks towards your restroom.
you smile awkwardly back
he pees you assume, because you've barely seen three tiktoks on your phone by the time he comes out.
"did I wake you?" he asks while he approaches you on your bed, taking a seat at the end.
having him so near the spot where you just pummeled yourself to orgasm made you shiver a little in fear.
"no," you almost stutter and put your phone down, "I was struggling to sleep."
"so was I" he laughs a little, "satoru sleeps so selfishly."
and your blabber mouth, stupid fake facade that you aren't affected at all by him speaks up.
"you can sleep with me."
you're both caught by surprise at your offer except only suguru expresses it, his eyebrows have raised innocently
and you cough up another remark, "it's not like you can really see what I'm wearing and you can just turn to the other side."
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable-" he's about to get up
and you act so stupidly again
"I don't mind suguru, your body needs good rest with all the strain you put on it." and there you are, flipping the covers open from the other side of your bed and tapping it for him to get into.
hesitantly, he gets up from the end of your bed and walks towards the open spot, "are you sure?"
"yeah," you nod, other hand hidden under the cover and gripping the sheets under you, "we've slept cramped up next to each other on road trips. what's the difference with all this space?"
you both know the difference
but he slowly gets under the covers with you anyways, positioning himself on his back, stiff as a board as he looks up and tries not to look at you, well that's what it looks like and you understand why.
"I'm sorry if I snore." you peep, also staring up at the ceiling
suguru turns to look at you a little, "you snore?"
"I don't know..."you respond, following in his lead and peeking at him from the corner of your eyes, "but I'd be really embarrassed if I did."
"well, I'm sorry if I do too." he gives you a small smile, one of those tight lipped ones, no teeth, just the softness the moment in them.
then your phone suddenly starts ringing loudly.
and you scram to shut it off, putting your phone on night mode
"who was that?" suguru peers at you, neck turned more to look at you now.
you gulp, "some guy from paris. I should block him soon anyways."
"you were seeing each other?"
well you did go out with him various times and continuously stayed lots of nights with him. hell you even showered with him a couple times.
"hardly." you brush off
"shoko would talk about you always spending the night at a Claude's place. didn't you text her that you had to pay for your own uber once?" he said it so smoothly, without a thought
you shrink a little into the bed, "well yeah but I never saw him as something serious and we never sealed the deal. I didn't think you'd know about him..."
"shoko often aired out what you'd be texting her in the moment." he breathed, one arm behind his head as he went back to staring at the ceiling again.
"so you know about how hard I partied and stuff?" you asked, hoping that maybe they showed him all your selfies and outfits, casual and sexy.
"yes." he nodded
he seemed so serious and a hopeful part of you wanted to say he seemed...jealous?
does he think you saw a lot of guys on your nights out? what is he thinking?
"I liked it," you started, making the path for a way to comfort him if that was the case, "but I wasn't a big fan of having guys try to pull me to dance with them. I missed you and satoru being there to stop guys from hogging on me."
his ears perk up a little and he looks at you again, almost as if he's waiting for you to continue, so you do, stupidly but it was at attempt
"I'm just glad I'm back with you guys."
"I'm glad you're back too."
"you guys finally freak it?"
you get a sudden whiplash and wake up to find satoru standing at the end of your bed, one leg propped up on it while he brushes his teeth.
you lean up, making sure to cover yourself with the covers and notice the comfort of suguru's arm leaving your head.
HUH
you're at a distance from him, you would've definitely noticed his body pressed against yours, but he's turned in your direction, one long arm splayed out and oh my god
you had been using it as a pillow.
he starts to wake up too at satoru's sudden intrusion and squints sleepily at him, starting to stretch a little. the covers must've shoved off of him a little because you can see his v-line when he groans.
which reminds you that he must've not recalled/felt you on his arm just now. he probably would've been so awkward.
you calm yourself down enough and go back to looking at satoru.
"oh probably not." satoru, with a mouth full of toothpaste, mumbles without a shame after looking at suguru still being fully clothed and your reaction at sleeping on him
"satoru," your vision and brain is still blurry from waking up, "is that my toothbrush?!"
"no," he borbles offended before walking back into your restroom and beginning to clean his mouth out with water, "I have a go-go bag here."
"since when do you have a go-go bag here? and where the hell did you hide it?"
"since you left me your apartment key to take care of your place before leaving," he's already spit out the last of his toothpaste and is sassily walking back to you and suguru, "and I have it in your closet all the way at the top."
you fall back into your bed, rolling your eyes at his weirdness, "why do you still knock then?"
"I have manners?" he looks at you like you just asked a stupid question
"I found his bag in my laundry room." suguru sighs, running his hands through his face.
"well it's impossible to hide anything in your apartment considering we're the same height." satoru rolls his eyes, "haibara's like 5'10 so he can't see that I have mine at the top cupboard above his stove."
"normal habits follow you satoru," suguru sighs, flipping the covers off his lower half and standing up, "but you outrun it."
"track was my thing in high school." he shrugs
you haven't seen suguru since then. it's been two weeks and you've no sight of him. you were hoping he'd make an appearance at satoru's apartment today, seeing as he was hosting a House of the Dragon watch party.
"oh suguru? he's not coming," satoru shrugs as he plops onto his couch, next to shoko and tugs the bowl of popcorn from her, "he's working on his startup. something about a big client needing something by tomorrow."
then it's been another week, no sight of suguru with anyone at any hangout.
you don't feel that optimistic when haibara and satoru beg the group to show up to the club tonight, with pregaming at satoru's apartment.
you're dressed in a tight little white dress when you show up to satoru's apartment, clinging onto shoko's arm because of how cold it was.
and you feel so happy that you still put 100% of effort into getting ready because there was suguru, seated on one of satoru's couches, watching in amusement as haibara attempts to teach satoru how to make a negroni.
your own excitement blinds you and without thinking, you slip in past everyone and stand in front of him.
"I thought you wouldn't be coming tonight." you look at him in slight marvel, astonished that he finally made an appearance
he makes a face of surprise at you, well you think it's surprise at what you said. you probably came off too strong because his ears turned a little red. what else could it be?
god he was taking a little too long to respond. had he been trying to avoid you? was he-
"it wouldn't be gentlemanly of me to leave your protection solely up to satoru would it?"
and just like that his soothing voice brushes over your entire body
"it would not." you giggle a little when you sit next to him, hoping your perfume reaches him and relishing in the fact that his arm was already hung over the part of the couch you inhabited.
"but what have you been up to? I haven't seen you in a while."
suguru's eyes soften at your curiosity, and unbeknownst to you, his heart swelled at the fact that you noticed his absence.
"I've been finishing up a personal project of mine," he says warmly, "if all goes well, I'll probably come close to affording an apartment like satoru's soon."
affording an apartment like satoru's soon?
that's like
a lot of money
a lot
and why is him getting more money in his bank account making you fawn even harder for him
well, the stability, duh.
but you have to act cool
"are you sure you want to live in the same apartment complex as satoru gojo?" you tease?
"I said like," he shoves your leg a little with his own, "I don't think I would be able to stand living under the same roof as him again."
"well I don't think he could either," you giggle, "he says you're too much of a homebody and always say you have food at home."
suguru makes no attempt to defend himself and shakes his head instead at the complaint from his best friend, "I find it wrong to say I'm guilty when there's nothing guilty about cooking your own meals."
"are you good at cooking? I know you posted on your close friends about some meals here and there, but it's been a while since you deactivated your account."
"I'd like to think I'm good," he pauses, looking at you for a moment before continuing, "I'd make a pasta for you but I don't want to challenge the likes of Italy and France."
"now that just sounds like an excuse to not cook for me," you squint your eyes and scrunch your nose at him playfully
"I make no excuses," suguru drinks from the glass of water in his hand, eyeing you with the same playful aura, "I'll let you try if you want, but you can't make any comparisons."
"deal." you huff a little, reaching your hand out towards him.
"deal." he agrees, setting down his glass to shake your hand.
you don't drink a lot in the pregame
or at the club
something about suguru being there, sober, and able to control every moment makes you want to do the same.
so you're surprised that you're not at all even tipsy when you gently grab his hand and motion for him to dance with you amongst the crowd of your friends and other strangers.
it doesn't really feel awkward.
satoru's dragged you plenty of times to dance with him. haibara's kinda twerked on you a couple of times.
how is this any different?
at least that's how your mind approaches it, unphased by the sensual rnb music and your waist in suguru's hand.
when your arms reach around his neck eventually, you note he smells intoxicating, like amber and leather.
when you've known the club to normally be a place where you cause a ruckus with satoru and haibara, this is quite the opposite.
you didn't know you could feel so grounded
maybe it was the lack of alcohol to spur on the party animal in you, but this was fine. your brain felt woozy enough from breathing in suguru's cologne.
it's only when you feel a tap on your back that you and suguru are interrupted.
suguru juts his jaw for you to look behind and when you turn, there's shoko a lighter and a cigarette in her hands. you and suguru follow her outside for her smoke break, the bare minimum for her protection, a norm.
"how come you haven't been following satoru's pace tonight with the drinking?" she sighs melodically as she puts a cig in her mouth and cusps a hand around it while the other lights it.
"um," you avoid suguru's presence, feeling something that you just can't quite point your finger at, "I think im pmsing, so...I don't want to trigger any cramps with the drinking."
"fair enough." she blows out a puff of smoke as she says that
"and when are you going to ever drink again suguru?" she lets her head fall on her shoulder, lazy eyes looking at him.
"when are you going to stop smoking those?" he asks in return, leaning against the wall behind him and looking at the people in passerby considering this was a busy street during the night.
"soon." she shrugs
you and suguru exchange a look between each other at the response. shoko's been saying that since freshman year.
and your small moment is interrupted when you see a frantic utahime waving her hand, nanami and haibara holding up a very pale satoru between them as they walk out of the club and towards you guys.
the three of you meet them at the middle and utahime starts to explain.
"satoru threw up on this vip table trying to make it in time to the restroom..." a slight look of disgust on her face
"you guys know I can't stand the smell of cheap vape smokeeee~"he whines from between his two friends, body slumped over
"oh." you also grimace imagining the situation
"we're going to walk him back to his place." utahime tries to convey with sorry eyes that she's sad the night had to end like this
"it's okay." you say and turn to shoko, "are you going with them?"
her place was on the same side of town as theirs, and they were probably going to stay at satoru's anyway. he had more than three bedrooms and was always ready for sleepovers.
"yeah," she says, moving forward to poke at satoru's chest, almost as if he were a lab rat, "you guys fine to-"
"nice tits pretty girl!" you hear a holler next to your ear
and its some guy walking by with his two other friends, clearly inebriated but its also clearly not enough for him to blame the behavior on it. and his target couldn't be anymore obvious when he's making the nastiest eye contact with you, or more so your chest.
"come again?" suguru says sternly at him, he didn't yell but...
you could hear him well and clear alright.
the guy stops walking and turns to you and suguru, speaking with a sassy stupor, "I said her tits were nice."
you look up behind you and suguru is biting his cheek, something you've never seen from him. you can tell he's mad and so can the other guy.
"you her boyfriend or something?" he smirks, relishing in the way suguru scowls at him as he nears the both of you, "if you're not saying shit ill fuck her little pussy right in front of-"
BAM!
multiple oohs are heard when suguru sucker punches him. and height is the only thing that helps your offender, because he does manage to stay up and land a punch to suguru's nose.
but before you can react and head over to check on him, like lightning, the guy is the ground after suguru hands him an uppercut.
and there goes satoru, vomiting on the side of the road too.
which you don't seem phased by because suguru just defended your honor, and won, so quickly.
but you're also really worried because his nose is bleeding when he turns around.
ignoring the pain of your heels finally setting in, you click clack over to him and move the hand he's using to grab at his nose so you can inspect him.
you're not sure if he can tell you're somewhere between feeling lusty and worried when he looks down at you, but he looks serious still as he makes eye contact with you.
and satoru barfs even more
"I can't handle blooddddd~" he cries which ushers a panicked utahime into calling shoko over and asking if you'd be fine heading back with suguru, making sure he's fine at the end of it.
when they start heading off, you pull out your phone from your purse, "let me get us an uber to your place."
your hands are shaking a little in adrenaline and you jump a little when suguru swipes your phone from your hand and hands you his, uber app already open.
he's continuously wiping his nose as he painfully murmurs, "not letting you leave my place alone, I'll drop you off at yours first, put your address, I'll pay."
worriedly, you want to deny him, but the thought is intimidated out of you when he stares you down.
"ok-okay." you speak a little shakily
so much for you thinking you'd be cool and calm in a situation like this.
you dragged suguru into your apartment the moment you got to your place. you had finally noticed the small cut on his nose bridge and near his eye and really insisted on patching him up.
you also were scared that he'd somehow get a brain bleed and die on the way home out of sheer anxiety. so you wanted to keep an eye on him for a while to keep your mind at ease.
suguru is sitting at the edge of your bed, watching as you rummage through your restroom for your first aid kid. and when you finally find it, you're rushing to him and setting it down next to him, beginning to filter through it for the alcohol wipes.
"close your eyes," you ask breathlessly, still feeling the after effects of your adrenaline, "I don't want to irritate your eyes accidentally."
suguru listens to you and closes his eyes, a slight grimace already on his face in preparation for the sting you're about to bring to his cuts.
he hisses a little when you press on them
"sorry."
"it's okay." his eyes scrunch a little and you can see his hand on his lap, opening and closing as a reflex to the sting.
then you take out the antibiotic ointment to start spreading a little on his wounds. his body relaxes a little when he sees that the bothersome part is over and he keeps his eyes open, watching you.
you feel so hot under his gaze, you can't help but blabber when you're in the process of putting cream on his nose bridge
"you really have been putting the work in at kickboxing huh." you say awkwardly, trying to do a fake laugh, but
"did I scare you?"
suguru's burning a hole into your face with how intensely he's looking at you
you almost choke on your breath
"no."
"you were shaking when you were typing your address on my phone."
oh he noticed
you didn't want him to misunderstand
"well you didn't scare me, but I was scared for you, still am. I don't want you to drop dead on the street." you answer a little shakily, having forgotten to reach for the small bandaids.
"besides what girl gets scared of the guy who defends her honor..." you add
"shoko almost gagged when nanami made a guy apologize to her." he quips
"well that's shoko," you shrug and look off to the side, "I liked it."
you're about to reach for the bandaids when his hand on is holding onto one of your arms, gentle but it sustains all your attention.
"what do you mean?"
"well we all know shoko's a lesb-"
"no, when you said you liked it."
explaining that to him is complicated. when you said that you liked it you know that you mean that your panties got a little sticky watching him spit out blood that tried to seep into his mouth from his nose. the memory makes you subconsciously rub your thighs together. but you'll just brush it off as a normal like, as in it flattered you.
unbeknownst to you, suguru spotted the movement between your legs.
"it was flatte-"
"then why do you look so nervous trying to tell me that?"
a bit exasperated and heavily flustered, you stomp your foot a little and avoid looking at him, "suguru, please stop. you're making me nervous."
"what's there to be nervous about?"
"we're just friends." he adds
and his eyes light up watching when your own shoot towards him, your offense front and center.
and for the first time, you can see how he looks at you with so much yearning?
"am I wrong?"
christ, has he always looked at you with this much desire?
you're speechless and even though the signs are pointing towards the obvious, you still form a sentence that spares your feelings.
"do you want to be wrong?"
"yeah."
you feel shaky again
and it's not because you're scared.
"can you please stop looking at me like that?" you beg, avoiding his eyes again, almost about to hyperventilate from the pressure his stare is putting on you.
he grabs your other hand and leers you close to him, breath tickling your neck since you're so stubborn on not looking at him.
"do you still want to be friends?" he asks
and even though it sounds seductive and suave, you can make out the slight genuine yearning to know if that's what you want.
so you look at him again, trying to swallow the nervous lump in your throat
"you know how I feel." you plead
"no I don't," he laughs a little painfully, "I've never said anything because I don't know, so tell me."
you stare at each other for a while, his patience everlasting as you muster up the courage to say something that shouldn't be so embarrassing.
"I don't want to be friends."
"do you want me to go home?" he asks, thumbs rubbing circles on your wrists.
and its the quickest answer you've given him so far
"no."
and you want it
bad.
so so so bad.
but you have to get the question off of your chest.
"what-what do you want to be?"
"each other's if you'll have me." he breathes, looking up at you still
he's saying all the right things. and he's here. you're freshly shaved and waxed and wearing the hottest lingerie under this. fucking hell you wouldn't even need foreplay to take him right now, you're preening at the thought of having him.
"do you think satoru packs condoms in his go-go bag?"
it just slips out of your mouth so easily and you want to be embarrassed, but you're to eager for that.
"I know he does." suguru gets up quickly, eyes darting to your closet and then to you, "are you sure?"
and it's like some sort of instincts take over because you take the hands that are holding yours and place them on your tits, motioning for him to squeeze them.
"I'm really sure."
the action has him baffled, a pink flush face you've never seen on him while he stands there taken aback. it gives you a little confidence to remove his hands and take off your dress. then you let him watch as you get on the bed, sitting on your heels as you take his hands in yours again to plead.
"I want you in me suguru."
"fuck." he curses, before rushing towards your closet and yanking the infamous go-go bag and tossing it next to the bed. he starts to take his shirt off soon after, immediately reaching for your face when he gets into the bed with you
he's a sensual kisser. sensual as in you're pretty sure it'd be illegal to kiss him in public.
he kisses like he's fucking your mouth with his own. and it has you shivering into his touch, pussy aching for him to fill you up.
you pull him in by the belt loops of his jeans and whine, "take it out please."
your words make him groan into your mouth and he reaches one hand down to help yours unzipper his pants and push them down.
you feel his raw length slap across and press onto your mound when he grinds against you
"you haven't done this before right." he almost says darkly as he stares down at where your bodies would be meeting soon.
"no." you moan, watching him as he stuffs his dick under your panties and slides it back and forth on your pussy lips.
he shivers at the contact and dips his head into your neck, mouthing and biting at the skin there, "fuck, you're actually drenched."
and for a moment, you both get rigid at the euphoric feeling of his tip catching on your hole so easily.
"I'm not sure I'm going to last long with you right now," he all but exhales shakily, hips still moving back and forth against you
"that's fine, just keep going."
and he's about to reach over in the bag for a condom when your lust takes over so much that you stop him and line him up with your hole.
"just do it like that please."
he moans as your ministrations and looks at you for reassurance, "are you sure?"
you can tell he's fighting so hard not to move
"just use my pussy please suguru, I need it so bad." you complain, reaching down to pull your panties further to the side, chest heaving from carnal need for him.
suguru leans closer to pull your see through bra down, and begins to suck harshly on one of your nipples when he starts bullying his cock into you.
you can feel every vein when he starts to sink into you and fuck, his tip is so snug and big, the feeling of it ridging against your insides every time he brings it in and out is dizzying.
you're so focused on the feeling of his thick dick filling you up that you've barely noticed how suguru's folded your legs back. both of you now entranced in the way he's balls deep in you, a loud wet pap sound accompanying every thrust of his.
"you like that sweet girl?" he heaves through deep fast thrusts, mesmerized by the way your stomach moves just a little every time he bottoms out.
words aren't something you're capable of right now because when you try to respond, all you let out is shriek
this is nothing compared to the way you've tried to pummel yourself with your dildo. his hands are everywhere and he's got you right where he wants you. you can't escape him.
and when you thought he couldn't his pace and force grows stronger.
you're basically screaming now.
"yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes." is all you can say, so dumb on his cock that you can't help but want more and more
"fuck, don't talk like that," he groans, almost as if to himself, "I'm gonna end up creaming your pussy if you keep that up."
"cream it please." you beg loudly, "wanna feel us get messy."
your tongue is basically salivating at the though of his balls coated in cum and slapping against your clit, strings of mess forming from how intense it is.
and he starts twitching into you, rushing to kiss you as he pumps inside of you. thank goodness, it feels like its spilling out of you in heaps.
you're so happy, so so happy.
"let's do doggy yeah?" you pull him in by wrapping an arm around his neck, grinding your hips against him for more
"whatever you want," he nearly whines, pulling out of you just so he can flip you over and push your back down.
you feel hornier like this, pussy more exposed and growing needier with the feeling of his cum seeping out of you. it makes you wiggle your ass for him to fuck you more already.
and without warning he does just that, slipping into you again and gripping your ass so hard when he starts using you like a fleshlight.
"fuck, yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes," he mumbles to himself, "tiny fucking wet pussy. love it so fucking much. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck."
you're thoughtless, just utterly brain dead from how hard he's going on you, from how much your pussy is getting split open again and again.
this goes on for hours, so many positions covered by you and suguru. foreplay was never involved at all during that time, neither of you wanting to go without feeling each other so crudely connected for more than a second.
you actually fall asleep cockwarming him even, the both of you too stubborn to stop that you fell asleep still trying to get it on.
neither you or suguru hear the jingle of your apartment door being opened later that day. both too fucked out and tired to wake up.
but you do hear when the door to your own bedroom opens, and suguru quickly gets on the defensive, covering you with your bedsheets and about to-
"satoru!" you both yell.
"woah," you hear laughing through the door, "you guys really stayed up all night fucking? everybody's been calling you guys since two."
#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#suguru x reader#geto x reader#suguru smut#geto suguru smut#jjk smut#jjk x reader#geto x you#jjk x you#getou suguru x reader#jjk suguru#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen suguru#satoru gojo#shoko ieiri#gojo#suguru geto smut#geto smut#getou suguru smut#suguru geto x reader
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meowdy! looks like our move to a new apartment is not going to be so peaceful after all - our old apartment is currently leaking sewage water and we have to evacuate four people and two cats! donations are appreciated, but im opening an emergency sale + commissions too! (more under the cut)
KO-FI SHOP SALE + EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!
DISCOUNT CODE IS 'LEAK' IN ALL CAPS
so for this section, i'm going to break down everything thats happening + when things will come off hiatus! i'm hoping that everything will be set up in the new place by JUNE 1st, so that is the hard deadline i'm setting to start all functions up again as usual.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
two years ago, my fiance and i were offered emergency housing when we (very suddenly and tragically) became the parents to his orphaned little sister. both of us are only 26 and had to move 8 hours from where we had been living at the time, so the housing we had was the best 2 people with few connections and no established jobs could find within a single weeks notice.
since then, we have been saving up and working to finally have a proper place to live. and we did so! at the beginning of this month we found an apartment where all of us can move to. we have a friend staying with us who is helping with the move as well.
i really wanted this move to be seamless - basically, you wouldn't have had to know it was happening. we were going to pay double rent for two months while i would stream and work from the old place, and begin sleeping at the new one. its expensive, but i didn't want my real life to trouble anyone here.
unfortunately this is no longer possible. the old building we were staying at had a pipe begin to leak, then eventually flood our entire apartment. this has been a reoccurring problem the landlord hasn't seemed to find a solution for, and it's led to a biohazard where we were planning on slowly moving from - leading to an immediate and emergency evacuation for the safety of everyone in our family.
SO... STREAMING?
will be back online as soon as possible! we moved out our tech as soon as we could due to fear of water damage, and it seems like everything is A-OK. we just need to rebuild my desk and sound proof the new room, so this will probaaabbly be back online within a week? im just going to take the week off to make sure everything is set up and there are no bugs. (digital. digital bugs.)
LAIKA'S COMET?
for the sake of not losing my buffer crazystyle, i'm pausing laika's until JUNE 1st. but i'm going to post one more page right now to leave you guys on a cliffhanger because i think it's funny. (the ko-fi will still update as regular as i finish pages! tbh, in between moving i am going to be drawing.... a LOT... it's like my only self soothing activity i have access to right now </3)
SHOP STUFF?
you basically won't notice a difference. orders go out every 2 weeks anyway, and literally the day before this happened we completely caught up to date. that + all of the goods we had were already moved over because (similar to the tech) we were worried about water damage, so nothing will be yucky... (i dont know if i can say the same about our furniture or clothes ; _ ; )
FINAL NOTES
while we did manage to get out with emergency bags and a weeks worth of outfits + things to sleep on + cook with, we have no real means of knowing the extent of damage until we bring things out of the apartment and clean them here. thankfully *most* things appear undamaged, its largely the flooring and the smell that are unliveable... walking through puddles of sewage water and having to wear a mask to breathe is not really liveable conditions.
however, considering this move is sped up way faster than planned, and i wont be able to work during it - any sales or donations are hugely appreciated. ; w ;
i'm sorry to ask for help like this, and its only if you are comfortable to do so!!! i can work hard, so i don't mind doing a little extra art to make money, this is just if you feel okay to help out and would like to.
if you read this far, thank you so much - hopefully next time i will return with good news - and maybe a new apartment tour...?
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STUDY HARD, GET EDGED HARDER!



this is smut, do not interact if under 18
jisung’s trying to finish this code, but the minute you sat on his lap, he knew the only thing getting finished today was him.
pairing: nerd!han jisung x popular!f!reader, established relationship genre/tags: college au, smut with very little plot, semi-public s*x, sub!jisung, he whines and begs a lot (how i like my men tbh), thigh riding, overstim, light degradation, handjob, orgasm denial, oral (m. receiving), cum eating words: 5.2k
[ note. ] — another jisung fic, are we surprised ?? (no.) it’s the way this was supposed to be under 2-3k but clearly i’m incapable of writing anything short sooo..
He checked his phone sixteen times within the past hour. At first, Jisung told himself it was fine, you were in class, you needed to focus, you were probably taking notes or doodling a series of hearts in the margins of your planner like you always did. But now it was 2:34 pm and he was one ‘are you mad at me?’ text away from losing his goddamn mind.
Usually, you’d text him the second class was over. A little “miss you” here, a blurry selfie there, a not-so-subtle thirst trap when he least expected it, something to let him know you were thinking about him. But today? Nothing. Not since that teasing message you sent earlier at 11:47 am:
you left a hickey above my bra strap, you menace ;(
i’m wearing a tank top. if anyone asks i’m blaming it on a curling iron burn.
That had launched him into a full-body crisis in the middle of Comp Sci lecture. Now he was half-hard, suffering from sleep deprivation, and trying to tackle three weeks’ worth of broken functions with his already fried brain— while simultaneously spiraling over why you hadn’t texted him again yet.
Which brings us to his current dilemma.
The library’s unusually quiet for a Thursday afternoon, except for the faint rustles of pages turning and the occasional exasperated sighs from stressed out students spread throughout the space.
Jisung sat tucked into the farthest corner, wearing a slightly oversized hoodie with the sleeves bunched up to his elbows, staring blankly at the same lines of code on his laptop. He’d been stuck in the same recursive function that kept crashing his entire program— something about an ‘undefined base case’, but he couldn’t focus long enough to fix it. The error messages meant nothing when all he could think about was the flash of your thighs in that skirt you’d been wearing this morning.
And across from him, not helping even a little, was Jeongin, who was currently detailing the world’s most cursed porn plot with way too much enthusiasm.
“So then the girl just spits on it like it’s no big deal and starts- bro, are you even listening?”
Jisung snaps out of his trance, looking up too fast. “Huh?”
Jeongin rolls his eyes, shaking his head, “knew you weren’t listening.”
“I was,” he lied, voice slightly cracking, and it only made Jeongin raise an eyebrow and gesture pointedly toward his friend’s phone, which lit up for the third time in under a minute.
Jisung snatched it up before even checking the name, heart already doing backflips.
sungie, where are youuu
i’m done with class and i’m boredd, wanna see you
He was now internally screaming. If Jeongin wasn’t here right now he’d be kicking his feet and giggling like a school girl right now. But instead he tries to keep his composure, though he’s failing miserably.
He swallows thickly, ears immediately turning red as he reads your message over and over. Recollections from last night were now running through his head, the mental image of your body under his, breathy moans in his ear, the feeling of your lips on his neck— it was burned into his memory forever.
Jisung’s brain short-circuited. His heart launched itself straight into his throat. And his dick? Yeah, it had ideas..
Jeongin tilts his head, catching the panicked expression on Jisung’s face. “Dude,” he muttered, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “Just go meet up with her already. You’re useless like this.”
“I’m not useless,” Jisung said defensively, even as his fingers fumbled to type out a reply with hands that were very much trembling. “I’m trying to debug this stupid loop!”
“You’re trying to not bust a nut thinking about her,” Jeongin deadpanned. “You’ve copy-pasted the same broken function like six times in ten minutes. I’m still confused how you even managed to bag the hottest girl on campus.”
“I didn’t bag her,” Jisung mumbled, his face growing hot once again. “She… likes me.”
“No shit she likes you. She owns you.” Jeongin pointed at the now purplish-red bruise on Jisung’s neck. “That’s a leash, not a love bite.”
“Stop talking, I’m trying to finish this code.”
Jeongin leaned across the table, squinting at his screen. “You haven’t written a single working line in the past thirty minutes. The cursor’s been blinking in the same empty function this whole time. You typed ‘y/n’ in the comment section of your code, and then drew a dick in ASCII next to it. You know damn well you’re not debugging anything except your feelings.”
Jisung groaned loudly as he slumps forward, his forehead hitting the keyboard with a soft ‘thud’. “She just- she’s distracting, okay?”
“She’s not even here right now.”
“She lives rent free in my head.”
“You pay her rent,” Jeongin quickly corrected, “with your dignity.”
Jisung barely had time to fire back before his phone buzzed again. His posture instantly straightens, reaching for his phone like it contained the meaning of life.
so why haven’t you kissed me today? why do you hate me?
He wheezed. “She thinks I hate her—!”
“You’re literally wearing the hoodie she gave you,” Jeongin cuts in dryly. “You made her a playlist last night called ‘songs that remind me of her moaning.’ She’s obviously fucking with you, bro.”
Jisung was only half-listening, already typing like his life depended on it.
i’m in the library, baby. i thought u had another class??
also i don’t hate u i’m OBSESSED w u
Your reply came not even a minute later.
mhm. obsessed? prove it. where exactly in the library are u?
He froze, looking up like a deer caught in headlights.
Jeongin didn’t even flinch. “Don’t panic,” he responds flatly, reaching for a pretzel stick. “Just give her your location and accept your fate.”
Jisung completely ignores him, fingers moving fast, typing out a rushed response that was borderline devotional.
back left corner by the windows. alone. i mean, with jeongin. but like mostly alone.
u coming?
depends.. are you gonna leave me another hickey this time or nah?
He slammed his forehead against the table.
“You good?” Jeongin asked casually, chewing on his pretzel like his friend wasn’t in the middle of a full-blown mental breakdown.
“No,” Jisung mumbled into the wood. “I’m gonna die right here. On this table. Tell my computer I love her.”
“Death by horny girlfriend.” Jeongin chuckled, “you’d be the third one this semester.”
Jisung turned his face, still smushed against the table, eyes glazed with academic doom. “I’m so gonna fail this exam..”
“You’re gonna fail life if she sits on your lap again and you cream your pants in front of me.”
Jisung glared. “I didn’t cream my pants last time.”
“You moaned when she kissed your jaw, bro. Out loud. In public..”
“It was a low moan.”
“A moan is a moan, my guy.”
Before Jisung could argue back, he receives yet another message.
look up, dummy.
His entire body went rigid, hands hovering midair, pupils dilating like a cat spotting a nearby predator.
“Bro?” Jeongin asked, watching the color drain from his face.
“She’s here,” Jisung whispered. “Oh my god, she’s actually here.”
And just like that, his palms were sweating. His heart beating abnormally fast as if a bomb was about to go off in his chest. He knew what was to came next. You were going to strut over here in something tiny, say something filthy, and sit in his lap like you owned both the chair and the man in it.
Jeongin turned just in time to see you coming.
“Oh nope. Nope.” He grabbed his stuff immediately, like a man narrowly avoiding trauma. “I’m not third-wheeling this lap dance sequel. I’ll be in the café. If I’m not back in an hour, it’s because I died of secondhand embarrassment.”
Jisung was still trying to stammer out something when Jeongin patted him on the shoulder with mock sympathy and left him for dead.
You were in a tiny black pleated skirt that flared when you walked, paired with a white, paper-thin tank, barely clinging to your frame. The outline of your lace bralette clearly visible beneath it under the warm library lighting. Your lips were glossy— glistening with that pink shimmer you knew drove him crazy, a hint of eyeliner, and that signature flirty sparkle in your eye made Jisung forget his own name, and why he ever thought he could handle you.
His mouth slightly parted as you spotted him and waved with a little grin that caused him to hold his breath. Every guy in the vicinity turned to look. Of course they did. You looked like you’d walked straight off the cover of a playboy magazine.
Except you weren’t paying attention to anyone else, walking straight towards him— past the tables, past all the stares, and before he could even think to slide over and offer the empty seat next to him, you climbed right onto his lap like you belonged there.
You casually slung your arm over his shoulders, settling against him like it was a normal day and you’d done it a hundred times before. Your thighs framed his, the sweet scent of your perfume clouding his senses while the softness of your chest against his front made him see static.
“Hi, baby,” you leaned it, trailing your fingers along the edge of his jaw. “You looked like you were missing me.”
“I-I uh-” He blinked rapidly, trying to process literally anything. “You’re- you-”
You couldn’t help but giggle at how much of a nervous wreck he was, but kept teasing him anyway. “Use your words, handsome.”
“You’re wearing that.”
You raised a brow, wide-eyed, feigning innocence. “This?”
Shifting slightly on his lap to get more comfy, your hips tilted just enough for your warmth to press more directly against the growing tent in his jeans. His soul left his body once again.
“I was gonna sit in the chair,” you said, glancing lazily at the empty seat beside him, “but you looked so cute and lonely over here. So serious. So tense.”
“I am tense,” he squeaked.
“You wanna know why?” he added quickly. “Because you’re literally sitting on me in the middle of a public—”
Your fingers slid into his hair, playing with the strands at the nape of his neck. “You don’t want me to sit here anymore?”
Jisung’s hands flew to your waist without realizing, fingers splayed against the thin material of your top like he was trying to will himself into self-control. “No- I mean, yes- I mean- I love when you sit here.. but—”
“But?” You echoed sweetly, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“People are looking,” he hissed through clenched teeth, heat blooming all the way to his ears. “Everyone’s looking. I-I can feel my GPA dropping just from this. My professor probably sensed it through the air.”
You didn’t seem fazed at all by his comments, letting your nose brush his cheek. “Let them look. You’re my boyfriend. I wanna show off what’s mine.”
He whimpered— actually whimpered. In the middle of the damn library.
You were just smiling, completely calm, perfectly poised, one hand lazily tracing the edge of his hoodie while your weight shifted subtly again, your thigh dragging ever so gently across his cock, already painfully hard beneath you.
You weren’t even grinding that hard.
You didn’t have to.
Because his sanity’s already slowly unraveling.
“Y/n…” he whispered, barely coherent. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“I barely did anything yet.”
“That’s the problem..”
You looked down at him, lips curved into something wicked. “You’re such a dork.”
He huffed, letting his head fall back against the seat.
“But you’re my dork,” you added, embedding a kiss to his cheek and then his temple. “My cute, squirmy, overstimulated little dork.”
“I’m not overstimulated.”
“You’re rock hard.”
“I’m emotionally vulnerable.”
You cackled. Loud enough for a student at the next table over to side-eye you, which you promptly ignored.
Jisung, meanwhile, tried to slowly roll his hips under you, praying to all gods that no one could tell how close he was to combusting. Your thighs were so soft. Warm. You smelled like vanilla and something sinfully feminine. The way you sat on him like nothing was happening, like your soaked panties weren’t dragging back and forth over the flexed muscle of his thigh— made his whole body lock up.
“If you’re this worked up now…” you murmured, voice sultry and featherlight, “…how are you gonna survive when I ride you later?”
His eyes rolled back.
A shaky breath punched from his chest. He choked on it, hands gripping your waist even tighter as his legs jerked beneath the table.
You pulled back just slightly to watch him come undone with a satisfied little smirk. “Color’s back in your cheeks. Must be working.”
“I’m begging you,” he croaked, “please just let me finish this. I need to pass this class.”
You thread your fingers up into his hair again, tugging gently at his roots. “Mm. If you get an A, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me. Desk. Mirror. Kitchen table. You name it.”
Jisung whimpered again.
Someone coughed in the next aisle. You didn’t care.
He tried to keep his cool. He really did. But when your lips would brush up against his ear, and your fingers slipped just slightly beneath his hoodie to rest on his bare skin, he knew he was beyond the point of no return.
You stayed perched on his lap, the model of calm— like you had no idea what you were doing to him. Like his cock wasn’t straining in his jeans so hard he thought he might pass out. His jaw was tight, lips bitten red, and his entire body’s trembling with effort.
The worst part of it all was how deliberately slow your hips circled over his thigh. It was so subtle. Calculated. The tiniest roll forward, just enough to let your clothed core drag across the curve of his thigh. Not bouncing. Not humping. Just that slow, lazy grind of slick heat over denim— completely hidden from view beneath the table.
“Shhh,” you muttered, completely unaffected. “Thought you wanted to finish your code?”
He was trying to finish this script. He really was. But the lines of code on his screen were blurring together, his glasses fogged-up and slipping down his nose. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, stifling a noise he didn’t even recognize.
“I-” he gasped, the only thing anchoring him being the white-knuckle grip he had on the edge of his laptop. “I can’t think like this-”
“Like what?” You asked, lips brushing his jaw as your hips picked up it’s pace. “Like your girlfriend’s grinding her needy little cunt on your leg while you’re trying to finish your sad excuse of a Python script?”
He bucks into you helplessly. His cock throbbing in utter desperation. His jeans were already soaked. You were soaked. The cotton clinging between your folds as warmth spread across your thighs like wildfire. His thigh pressed perfectly against your cunt with every slow grind, grazing over the sensitive bud just right.
Jisung clenched his jaw, eyes fluttering shut. He could feel it. The outline of you. The mess you were making on him. The sharp, desperate ache in his cock that had him this close to snapping. The denim of his jeans felt tight, unbearably tight, and every shift of your hips sent him teetering over the edge.
“H-holy shit, y/n…” Jisung’s voice cracks, sharp and frayed. “You’re so wet. I can feel it through- fuck- through everything.”
“Mmh?” You hum softly, “what was that, baby? Speak up.”
“You know what,” he whined. His thigh twitched again, and you seized the opportunity to grind harder, dragging your soaked center over the thick muscle.
“You’re gonna get us caught,” he hissed, looking around uncomfortably. “You’re seriously gonna.. I can’t, baby—”
“No one’s looking,” you interrupted calmly, your hot breath fanning over his neck, fingers curling into the back of his hair like a gentle command. “Unless you make them look. Unless you start moaning like a little slut who can’t control himself while his girlfriend gets off on his leg.”
“I’m not-” He swallowed, but his voice was weak. Broken. “I’m not a slut.”
“No?” You mocked, your voice all honey and knives. “Then why’re you twitching every time I say something filthy? Why are you leaking through your boxers when I haven’t even touched your cock?”
He let out another pitiful sound.
“Please,” he begged. “Please, I’ll do anything. Anything, just let me cum, please. I can’t- fuck- I can’t take it anymore.”
The way he looked up at you, all teary-eyed and trembling, it sending a rush of heat pooling to your core. His cheeks were flushed a baby pink, lips slightly parted, chest heaving like he’d just run five miles. Your good boy— smart, nerdy, sweet Jisung— reduced to a desperate, needy mess just from the way you were riding his thigh in public like it was your seat.
“You’d do anything for me?” You asked, rolling your hips again, slowly, letting your clit drag perfectly over the seam of his jeans.
His hands spasmed on your legs.
“Yes,” he gasped. “Yes, please. I’d do anything- I’ll get on my knees right now, I’ll eat you out under this table if you let me. I’ll fucking worship you, y/n, just pleaseplease let me cum—”
Your lips curled into a smirk. “You sound so pathetic,” you scoffed. “So needy. And all I did was sit on you.”
He nodded frantically, his breathing ragged.
“I am pathetic. I know I am. I can’t help it, ’m so obsessed with you. I think about you all the time. I jerk off thinking about you sitting on my face. I came in my hand the other night just imagining you calling me your good boy.”
You clenched at that.
“Oh, baby,” you cooed. “You’re so fucked up.”
You spread your knees a little more over his leg so you could rock harder, now deliberately dragging your wet pussy over the wet patch of denim he’d soaked through. Tensing up as he fought not to move, to grind up into you like he wanted.
His breath came in short, silent bursts now. Chest rising and falling beneath you, lips parted, sweat beading at his brow.
“Y/n…” he breathed, trying so hard to sound composed, but nearly sobbing from how fucking good it felt.
“What is it, baby?” You bat your lashes at him, hips rocking forward again. “You’re not gonna cum in your jeans, are you?”
His entire body shivered.
“I-I will,” he stuttered. “I swear, if you don’t stop.. mmph, ‘m already so close, you’re- your pussy’s so wet—”
You leaned in slowly, lips grazing over the shell of his ear. “If you cum now…”
He gasped, throat catching on the first syllable.
“…you’re not fucking me later.”
His breathing stopped.
You pulled back just enough to see the panic settle in his eyes.
“You hear me, Ji? If you cum in your pants like a desperate little virgin, I’m walking out of here and locking my legs until next week.”
“I want you to feel how wet I am for you,” you whispered. “I want your thigh soaked. I want your cock leaking. But you don’t get to cum unless I say so.”
Jisung was panting now. He was actually trembling— not shaking, not twitching— trembling, like he was barely surviving.
“Y/nnn,” he whined. “This isn’t fair.. ’m not gonna make it.”
“You will,” you said, rolling your hips harder, dragging the mess between your thighs across the thick ridge of his leg again. “You will because you want to fuck me. You wanna cum inside me, don’t you?”
He groaned, mouth agape, eyes half-lidded and glazed over.
“Yes,” he pleaded. “God.. yes.”
You rewarded him with one more slow grind, your drenched panties catching perfectly on your clit— and it took everything in him not to buck up or spill into his boxers right then and there.
He almost disobeyed. Almost gave in. But somehow by some miracle of sheer desperation and willpower, he held back. Barely. Just barely.
You could feel him clenching under you. His cock twitching behind the zipper, leaking so much precum he’d made a dark patch on his jeans, mixing with the slick you’d left behind.
“You’re so good for me,” you praised, pressing light kisses against his jaw. “Sitting still, letting me use you. You’re so close, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” he strained. “I can’t take it anymore, please—”
You smiled against his skin, kissed him again, then pulled back.
“Then come with me.”
His eyes widened. “W-What?”
You stood up, skirt fluttering down your thighs, straightening your tank top like you weren’t dripping down his leg seconds ago.
“Archives section.” You whispered, voice honeyed and commanding.
And just like that, Jisung— flushed, throbbing, soaked, and desperately blue-balled, let you pull him through the rows of books, already dizzy with the promise of what’s to come next.
+
Jisung’s wrist was still pulsing with warmth from where you grabbed him, dragging him down two flights of stairs with no explanation and zero resistance. He followed like a lost puppy, notebook half-open, backpack swinging awkwardly behind him as you led him past the “ARCHIVES ONLY” sign and into a forgotten aisle of books no one under 65 had ever touched.
The hallway past the microfilm cabinets was barely lit, tucked behind a wall of outdated journals and abandoned thesis papers. No one ever came back here. The security camera hadn’t worked in months and you knew that because you checked the first week you started fooling around with Jisung in public. It was the perfect spot for what you had in mind.
His hoodie was crooked. His hair was a mess. His jeans were stained — not enough to be obvious to anyone else, but you saw the evidence of your slick and his precum smeared across the thigh you’d just used like your personal toy minutes ago.
His eyes were blown wide. Glazed. Wild with the kind of desperate frustration that came from being edged and denied so thoroughly he could barely think. Your skirt was still slightly rumpled and your lip gloss a little smeared like you planned it. You looked wrecked in the prettiest way and he couldn’t stop staring.
You gently pushed him up against the bookshelf, meeting the cold tiles as you dropped to your knees, looking up at him with the sweetest, filthiest smile he’d ever seen.
“W-What are you doing?” He blinked like rapid fire, turning into an even blushier mess. “Wait- wait, are you—?”
Without a word, you reached down and pulled his jeans further open, just enough to free his cock. It sprang up against his stomach— angry red at the tip, twitching, wet with a fresh bead of precum leaking from the slit.
“Ohh, Ji,” you cooed, brushing your thumb across the tip, smearing the slick mess down his shaft. “You really are about to cum, huh?”
“Y-Yeah,” he choked, breath hitching as his needy hips jerked into your hand. “Please touch me, ‘m so fucking close—”
“I am touching you,” you teased, wrapping your fingers around him slowly, deliberately. “What, not good enough?”
He let out a ragged moan, head thunking back against the wall.
Your grip tightened just enough. Your fist started moving slowly, not enough to bring him over, but enough to torment him. Just enough to keep him right there, on the edge, nerves strung taut like piano wire.
“F-Fuck, that’s—” he gasped, hips stuttering. “That’s so good.. please, faster. Baby, please—”
You smiled while looking up at him. “You begging already?”
He whined, high-pitched and wrecked, his hands twitching like he didn’t know where to put them, like if he touched you, he’d explode.
“I’ll do anything,” he whispered. “Just let me cum- I’ll eat you out for hours, I swear- please y/n—”
You tightened your grip and gave a long, twisting stroke that made his whole body jerk.
“Mm-mm,” you hummed. “Didn’t I say you don’t get to cum unless I say so?”
His hips bucked wildly into your fist. “I’m trying,” he moaned. “I’m trying so hard, but it feels so fucking good- your hand feels so good..”
“Yeah?” You whispered, pumping him harder, “my hand feels good? Poor baby. Can’t even handle a handjob without crying.”
“I’m not crying—”
You glanced back up.
His eyes were glassy. His lashes were damp. And his cock was throbbing so hard in your fist it looked painful.
“You are,” you murmured. “You’re crying ‘cause you want my mouth, huh?”
He whined like a kicked puppy.
You grinned.
“You want me to suck you off so bad you’d get on your knees and beg, wouldn’t you?”
He nods frantically, gasping for air. “Yes, yes. I would- I’d do anything- please, y/n, I need it. Need your mouth, wan’ it so bad—”
“You’re so cute,” you giggle, twisting your wrist mid-stroke just to make him squirm. “So fucked out and needy over something you haven’t even felt yet.”
“I’ve imagined it,” he blurted. “I’ve thought about it so many times- your lips, your tongue, I touch myself to it- fuck, ‘m gonna cum—”
Your hand stops immediately.
He let out a strangled, broken moan, the kind that came from the soul. As his cock throbbed helplessly in your hand, right on the edge, aching for release.
“Don’t you dare cum,” you hissed. “Not unless you want me to walk away.”
He whimpered. You watched the muscles in his abdomen tighten, his thighs shaking as he fought it— struggled against his own body, literally holding back an orgasm with every last shred of willpower he had left.
His eyes fluttered open again, desperate, ruined.
“You did good, baby,” you whispered. “But I’m not done with you yet.”
You let go of his cock and pulled your hand away, sticky, soaked in his precum, still warm with the weight of him.
He sobbed— a tiny, wrecked sound that made your thighs clench.
You hadn’t even taken him in your mouth yet, and Jisung was already about to cry.
The flush on his cheeks crept down his throat, his hands struggled to stay put, not knowing what to do with them. His cock was hard. So hard. Red and slick and visibly throbbing as you pumped it slowly in your hand. Every now and then, his hips jerked subconsciously, helpless, like his body was trying to chase something even his mind couldn’t form words for.
You looked at him from between his thighs, chin tilted, lips parted just enough to tease.
“Still with me, baby?”
He nodded a little too fast. “Y-Yeah. I think. Maybe. I don’t know.”
You smiled. “You’re doing so good.”
And then you slowly licked a stripe from base to tip, watching his entire body flinch.
“Nngh,” his mouth flew open, head tipping back to hit the shelf behind him. “Oh my god.”
“Not yet,” you remind, letting your tongue flick beneath the head, collecting every drop of precum you’d pulled out of him. “But you can pray if it helps.”
He let out a strangled laugh, cut off halfway by a moan as your lips finally wrapped around the tip and sucked— lightly, just enough to watch his knees buckle.
That’s when you gave him what he really wanted.
You slid up and down, slowly, letting him feel every inch and crevice of your mouth, your tongue pressed firm against the underside of his cock, and didn’t stop until you had him nearly down your throat.
You look up through your lashes, gaze dropping to his lips, then back up to his eyes.
His eyes were already rolling back when yours locked with his. The second he realized you were watching him— deepthroating him while holding eye contact, he let out the filthiest, most guttural groan you’d ever heard come out of him.
“Y-y/n fuck- fuck, your eyes- your mouth- baby, please, please don’t stop—”
You moaned around him, the vibration making his thighs shake.
You sucked harder now, faster, bobbing your head as your hand stroked what your lips couldn’t take. Drool started to peak out from the corners of your mouth and dripping down to your chin. Your jaw ached. Your eyes were watering. But you loved every second of it because he looked absolutely wrecked.
He was trembling like a virgin sacrifice, hips twitching, mouth open in a soft, breathless ‘o’ as his hands finally came to your head— not pushing, not guiding, just holding, as if he needed something to cling to so he doesn’t burst at the seams.
You were soaking wet.
Your thighs pressed together under your skirt, heat thobbing between your legs. Every time he moaned, every time he whimpered your name with that desperate, wrecked voice, you felt another pulse of wetness soak your panties.
You loved this.
Loved watching him come apart because of you.
He was a babbling mess now, muttering nonsensical praise and pleas spilling from his lips.
“Your mouth’s so warm, oh my god. So good, so fucking good, feels better than anything.. Think m’gonna cum, please let me cum in your mouth..”
You pulled off just enough to say, voice breathless, “then do it. Cum for me.”
And then you swallowed him whole again, deep and wet and perfect, not stopping until his entire body went still, shaking, before bucking up into your throat as he finally came.
“Fuckfuckfuck, I’m cumming—!”
His head dropped forward, eyes wide and panicked as his cock twitched hard, spilling thick spurts of cum hot and heavy down your throat. You sucked him through it, not letting up until he was whimpering, thrashing, his knees buckling as he slumped back against the shelf.
You swallowed everything, not a drop of him wasted.
Then licked your lips, smugly grinning.
When you stood back up, he was still dazed. His eyes followed you like you were gravity itself.
“That was—” He wheezed. “I think I just- did I die? Am I dead?”
You leaned in close and whispered, “You died a slut.”
He choked on his own saliva.
And then, of course.. came the sound that ruined everything.
His phone buzzing. Loudly. With that stupidly obnoxious ringtone.
A Zelda theme remix.
“Oh my god,” you muttered, eyebrows lifting. “Is that your mom?”
Jisung turned redder than you thought humanly possible.
He yanked the phone out of his pocket and hissed, “Yes.”
“Answer it.”
“I will not—!”
You reached for it and put it on speaker before he even had the chance to protest and stop you.
“Jisung?” His mom’s voice rang out. “Did you remember to eat something today?”
He turned paler than a ghost.
You smiled sweetly, reaching over for a tissue and using it to wipe the corner of your mouth.
“He’s getting plenty of protein,” you said, and swiftly hung up.
Jisung let out a noise that could only be described as dying baby animal.
“I’m never recovering from this,” he smacks his forehead with his palm.
You peck his cheek. “You’ll recover. Eventually. After I sit on your face.”
He whimpered again. “You’re gonna be the reason I fail out of college.”
“And you’ll love every second of it.”
#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#skz smut#han jisung x reader#han x reader#han jisung smut#skz imagines#skz x you#skz scenarios#han jisung imagines#han jisung scenarios#han smut#stray kids imagines#han jisung x you#skz fic#skz fanfic#han jisung oneshot#stray kids oneshot
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1-800-Screw-You | Charles Leclerc x Neighbour! Reader
Summary: Your neighbour drives you insane with his late hours and lack of volume control. And the fact that your best friend is marrying his brother means you have to see his stupid face more than you want.
Warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, an insensitive mention of AA
Requested: yes by @1800-love-me (who probably doesn't remember requesting this because it was soooooo long ago. oops)
i originally made this with reader being jade’s friend and then i saw rumours that her and arthur had broken up so i had to swap for charlotte
F1 Masterlist
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its_yn just posted



liked by kellypiquet, francisca.cgomes and others
its_yn a much needed cocktail night after noisy neighbour woke me up at 1am again tagged: charlotte2304, yourfriend
6,161 comments
charlotte2304 i thought if i got you drunk enough, you would forget about it
→ yourfriend it just seemed to give her more energy to bitch about him
→ its_yn my hatred fuels me! not the alcohol
→ charles_leclerc is that what they teach you in AA
user1 why is charles leclerc in her comments?
→ user2 because she’s friends with his sister in law?
→ user3 i think they’re neighbours
arthur_leclerc i love how noisy neighbour doesn’t even get a name anymore
→ its_yn not when the bastard clatters down the hallway at 1 with his luggage, crashes into my door, and then puts his bloody tv on
its_yn i’m going to break into his apartment and steal all of his left socks
→ yourfriend no, she’s not. she’s just drunk
→ yourfriend @/its_yn you cannot confess to crimes online. the police use that as evidence
→ charlotte2304 it’s not b and e if i have a key
→ lorenzotl right, no more cocktails for you lot. i'm coming to pick you up


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its_yn added to their story
charles_leclerc added to their story


charlotte2304 replied to its_yn you need to save me some of those → its_yn only if you throw your drink on charles at the next leclerc family dinner
arthur_leclerc replied to charles_leclerc don’t you yell at her → she has good music taste. you should just enjoy it → charles_leclerc if you like her that much, you should be her neighbour → arthur_leclerc maybe i’ll ask her out instead → charles_leclerc don’t you dare arthur_leclerc reacted with 😂
landonorris replied to charles_leclerc someone not getting laid → is this the pretty neighbour that’s friends with your brother’s fiancee? → charles_leclerc yes → landonorris dude, she listens to sabrina. you should go for it → and you just admitted she was pretty


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charlotte2304 just posted



liked by joris_trouche, lec and others
charlotte2304 portofino with love 💍
3,316 comments
iamrebeccad yaaay so special
joris_trouche congrats
its_yn is this the best news i have ever heard? yes!
its_yn tears and snot down my face. love you both so much
→ charlotte2304 thank you for telling him the right ring
→ its_yn well you’ve only been dreaming about it since med school
charles_leclerc my favourite happy couple
→ charlotte2304 you’ll make a very pretty bridesmaid
→ charles_leclerc only if the colour is red
→ its_yn steal my sleep and now my wedding role. asshole
→ arthur_leclerc you are my favourite person @/its_yn. can we invite you to all family functions?
lorenzotl added to their story
charlotte2304 added to their story


its_yn replied to charlotte2304 i was about to repost this and talk about how cute my best friend is, and how lucky i am to have someone as amazing as her in my life → and then i saw that little hidden parentheses
charles_leclerc replied to charlotte2304 do you have to invite her? → charlotte2403 suck it up, buttercup. → you’ll be walking her down the aisle charles_leclerc reacted with 😫
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its_yn added to their story
arthur_leclerc added to their story


charlotte2304 replied to its_yn thank you for throwing the best engagement party a girl could dream of you → its_yn do you know what makes it even more special? → i had to work with noisy neighbour to arrange it → charlotte2304 a wedding miracle
joris_trouche replied to arthur_leclerc i knew he talked about her so much for a reason → arthur_leclerc the amount of times i joked about asking her out and he got really mad at me



charles_leclerc just posted



liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and others
charles_leclerc i guess what they say about the maid of honour and the best man is true
16,996 comments
charlotte2304 i knew you two would be perfect together
→ lorenzotl i think we did a good job setting them up
→ its_yn pardon?
→ charlotte2304 why do you think i let you rant about him all the time? fine line between hate and love
→ charles_leclerc ha, i knew you talked about me
yourfriend went from stealing his left socks to stealing his hoodies
→ its_yn i still stole stole his left socks
→ charles_leclerc yeah, where have you hidden those by the way
→ its_yn you can get them back when you apologise for waking me up this morning
→ charles_leclerc it was with kisses!
landonorris i knew you were into the pretty neighbour
pierregasly i miss when you used to call her an inconsiderate cow. now you just spout mushy love crap
→ its_yn an inconsiderate cow!
→ its_yn now stealing your right shoes
→ charles_leclerc @/pierregasly i regret being your friend now
arthur_leclerc i told all of you that yn would end up being part of the family some way or another
→ arthur_leclerc i was prepared to make that sacrifice but it’s nice to see charles stepped up
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requests open
tags
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty @justaf1girl @piastri-fvx @teamnovalak
#formula 1#f1#formula one#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 drabble#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 headcanon#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula one drabble#formula one fluff#formula one x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader
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𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: spencer needs your help examining a crucial piece of evidence...but the moment he sees you, his mind goes blah blah blah...proper name, place name, backstory stuff...
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x diva!chemist! female reader, same reader as in pick your poison but you don’t need to read that first—there aren’t any major references, suggestion that the reader engages in casual hook ups, reader has a belly button piercing and a described outfit, spencer's pov only
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2k
𝐚/𝐧: requested by @trulymadlydarling it was slowly gathering dust in my inbox 😭 sorry!
"I think the threshold of my lab isn't exactly the best place for camping."
A woman's silhouette cast a shadow over Spencer as she appeared right above him in the dimly lit hallway.
Spencer sighed in frustration and hauled himself to his feet. As he brushed off his pants, he kept his eyes off the woman in front of him.
"Well, I didn't think you'd make me wait fifty-eight—"
"Oh, just say the hour. Is rounding numbers really that hard for you?" she scoffed, her voice carrying a trace of genuine curiosity. She swiped her access card, unlocking the door to the lab. With her back turned to him, he took in her appearance—an oversized fur coat draped over her shoulders, a designer handbag hanging from one arm. His gaze drifted downward, and to his surprise, he noticed…pajama pants and slippers?
"You should be grateful I even bothered to show up at this hour," she added.
"This is really important," Spencer replied as she led him inside.
She moved through the space with effortless familiarity, heading straight for the light switch. Well, this was her domain, after all—the place where she spent most of her days.
"I don't care," she replied. "Unless you've found proof that Marilyn Monroe was the Zodiac Killer all along—then, well, I care a little. Honestly, you have no idea how much you owe me for showing up..."
He rolled his eyes.
"Should I be thanking you on my knees, or...?"
"I could have been busy. I could have been out with the girls at a club. I could have been having the night of my life..."
"I get it, you made a huge sacrifice answering my request, but can you now—"
"I could have been in bed already. My own. Or not my own," she glanced at him over her shoulder. "Though in that case, I wouldn’t have picked up."
Spencer simply sighed. By now, he was used to it—the way most of their conversations followed the same pattern. How she always set the pace, steering the direction as she pleased. How she sometimes deliberately ignored his words and didn’t care if it made her seem rude. How, in general, she didn’t care what impression she left on others.
He had witnessed it countless times, found it irritating every single time, and yet—every single time—he kept the conversation going. Funny.
She switched on only one of the lights, leaving the room bathed in a soft twilight. Her handbag landed on the long counter beside one of the microscopes, and she tossed her fur coat next to it, completely unconcerned about knocking something over.
Sometimes, he watched her with quiet fascination—the effortless confidence in her movements—and wondered if she had ever, even once, smacked her hip against a doorframe. Or stubbed her toe on a cabinet. Those small, mundane humiliations and everyday mishaps simply didn’t seem to fit with who she was.
He tightened his grip on the plastic bag he had brought with him, the one containing something that needed to be examined. The team didn’t know about it yet.
The thought, the theory, had quite literally yanked him out of sleep. He couldn’t function without checking this lead immediately. But he knew that if he went through the lab, he’d have to wait until morning for the results…so he decided to ask for a friendly favor.
Okay friendly was a big word.
They had known each other for a few months, worked together on several cases, gone on a date, slept together.
Not necessarily in that order.
He was just about to open his mouth, say something, hand her the bag… when, for the first time, he actually saw her in better light than the dim glow—or rather, lack of it—in the hallway. Against his own will, his gaze started its journey over her.
From the slippers on her feet, up the loose pajama pants that ended just below the piercing in her navel, the black camisole with thin straps, to her face—completely free of makeup.
Until now, he had only seen her in two versions. One was her usual, elegant work attire. The other was her evening look—form-fitting, designed to turn heads and keep them there.
On second thought, there was also a third version. Without clothes.
But he had never seen her like this. Casual, comfortable, dressed for nothing more than wandering the walls of her own apartment.
She lifted her arms to tie her hair into a ponytail, and her shirt rode up slightly.
“If my piercing fascinates you that much, I can give you my piercer’s number,” she offered dryly, a fleeting smirk on her lips as she caught his stare. He immediately snapped his gaze back to her face, cursing internally when he realized he probably looked like he had been caught staring. Which, of course, he hadn’t been. “Excellent work. Full professionalism. Experienced hands…”
"I need you to check this stain," he interrupted, raising the bag.
They had been talking too much, and he really needed to know if his suspicions were correct.
She stepped closer to take the bag from him.
“Is this a crucial piece of evidence, or can I touch it?”
“You can touch it…”
She stopped just a step away, shifting her weight onto one hip and tilting her head to get a better look.Spencer instinctively straightened, feeling a strange tension along his spine.Earlier, he had been looking at what she was wearing. Now, what caught his attention was how she looked.
There’s a certain kind of beauty you never quite get used to, no matter how often you see it. The kind that, every time, knocks the air from your lungs for just a second—that fleeting disbelief that someone like this actually walks the earth.
She had it. She radiated it.
And she was just a step away.
She took the garment out of the bag. It was a red turtleneck sweater. She lifted it higher toward the light, furrowing her brow as she examined the stain.
Spencer’s gaze fell on her beautiful face, her eyes shimmering slightly, her lower lip slightly pursed in thought.
Suddenly, she scoffed, snapping him back to reality.
"Mystery solved, and I didn’t even need a microscope," she said, shoving the sweater back into his hands. As he took it, his fingers brushed against hers, catching him slightly off guard. "It’s foundation. I’d recognize that stain anywhere. So, hooray, happy to help, no need to put me in the case report, have a good night, and see you—"
He grabbed her wrist before she could step away, stopping her in place.
"This isn’t a joke," he said, his voice dropping, tinged with sudden irritation.She raised an eyebrow at both his tone and the way he—unintentionally—closed the distance between them. As usual, she looked him straight in the eyes, and as usual, it was hard not to be drawn in. But he tried, because this case was really consuming his thoughts. "Listen, I called you because I need someone to actually test it. Not just glance at it. It'll only take a moment, and then you can go back to crawling into bed with whoever you want. Can you do that?"
The second-to-last sentence made her expression shift slightly.
For a moment, they stood there, unwavering, eyes locked without so much as a blink. Then, the corners of her lips tugged upward—just barely. But it felt more like a forced gesture, an attempt to maintain her carefully practiced expression, rather than a sign of genuine amusement.
"Alright," she replied softly. Not to be mistaken for shyly. There was nothing shy about her, a fact he was reminded of constantly.
"I’ll test it, since it matters so much to you. And then I’m going back to bed." A slow blink before she yanked the sweater from his hands. "With whoever I want."
Why did swallowing suddenly stop being an automatic reflex and turn into something he had to consciously work through?
"That’s great," he said shortly, dryly. He could feel himself slipping into the trap again, letting her toy with him. "Have fun."
"I will."
With that simple assurance, she walked away, and the very particles of air around him seemed to loosen, finally allowing him to breathe again. He turned after her instinctively, the way a swivel chair spins when someone sets it in motion.
She crossed the lab table and leaned over an empty workstation—empty, like all the others. The entire width of the counter separated them now, along with the return of cool detachment to her face. Slowly, Spencer rested his hands on the smooth surface, watching as she got to work. Watching as her hair bounced slightly with the shift in position. Watching as her jaw tensed in concentration. Watching as she leaned over the workstation slightly.
"So," she began flatly, not pausing her work or even looking at him.
Spencer gave his head a small shake, realizing that this time, he really had been staring. At least she hadn’t seen it.
"What exactly am I testing?"
His gaze drifted to her again.
"Something related to the case."
"Wow, I never would've guessed."
He was too distracted to mentally slap himself for how pathetic he was.
"Uh, it’s not exactly groundbreaking," he began.
He could focus—he just had to try hard enough. He just had to clear the lingering trace of her scent from when she’d stood so close. Had to shake off the echo of her words. With whoever I want, she had said. The more he thought about it, the more accurate it seemed. He firmly believed she could have whoever she wanted. With that confidence. With that face. With that body…
"That’s why I’m checking it after hours. Just, you know…backstory stuff…"
A sound escaped her lips—somewhere between a scoff of disbelief and a startled laugh. She looked at him—no, she pinned him with her gaze.
"Backstory stuff?" she repeated, her lips curling into a smile. Not even a mocking one anymore. She was genuinely amused. "Did you, Doctor Spencer Reid, when asked what the evidence pertains to, actually respond with backstory stuff…?"
“No, I…I mean…”
“Oh God, it’s a good thing they don’t put you in front of cameras. Imagine you, at a press conference. Just casually dropping backstory stuff on national television…”
“I can handle myself in front of cameras,” he clarified, feeling an odd warmth creep up the back of his neck. “But there aren’t any here. And besides, I didn’t realize you wanted me to recite the entire case file from memory…”
“That won’t be necessary,” she said with another amused snort. “Backstory stuff is actually a surprisingly accurate term. You know, very professional.”
He rolled his eyes, feigning irritation, though what he really felt was more akin to embarrassment.
“Speaking of professionalism, maybe you could get back to work?” he suggested.
“I don’t have to,” she replied, flashing him a sweet smile. “I already checked everything. And I was wrong. It’s not foundation—it’s nitroglycerin.”
Spencer’s jaw practically hit the floor.
For the first time since stepping into the lab, his mind was running at full capacity.
"Nitroglycerin? Are you sure?"
"Well, I don’t get these things wrong," she said, almost offended.
"Nitroglycerin," he repeated in a whisper.
Oh, for heaven’s sake. Suddenly, everything made sense.
She leaned her elbows on the table, watching him with interest.
He wanted to kiss her.
No—he did not—
"Thank you," he blurted out, her words becoming background noise as his thoughts raced. "Thank you for coming. This…this really helps. I have to tell the team—"
He turned toward the door, dazed by the realization.
Something stopped him.
"Spencer," she called gently.
She didn’t seem angry that he was leaving so abruptly. If anything, there was a certain soft glint in her eyes, a quiet fascination with his sudden revelation. Standing in the doorway, he looked at her one last time, feeling himself freeze in place again. He said nothing, sensing that she wanted to say something instead.
She tilted her head slightly.
"You owe me a favor," she said.
There was something about the way she said it—something that sent a slow, deliberate shiver down his spine. Not even a shiver. More like a careful march of cold fingertips down his vertebrae.
So, naturally, he did what any grown man with an IQ of 187 would do.
He parted his lips slightly and nodded.
#spence reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#dr spencer reid#doctor spencer reid#criminal minds fic
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You know, ten years ago I might have looked at what working remotely has done to my daily routine and said it's really fucked me, but this morning I was thinking about it and I think I'm much closer to my natural inclinations than I could have been before.
I woke up around 2am today (after going to bed at 8ish), ate half a hamburger, and made a batch of meringues. I'd planned to make meringues and macaroons this morning before making haroset for the Passover dinner I'm going to, and meringues basically look after themselves -- after 90 minutes in a 200F oven they'll be fine if they stay in the cooling oven a bit, and my oven has a timed-shutoff function, so if I go back to sleep it'll be okay. And now the mixing bowl has time to dry after being washed before I make macaroons.
So you know, yes I'm up at 2am eating breakfast and doing tasks, but I ate breakfast because I was hungry and I got something checked off my to-do list. I got six hours of sleep and could get a few more if I want. ADHD has a known association with sleep dysfunction but usually that means "night owl"; I had to be different so for me that manifests as being an extreme morning person. Ordinarily that would be more of a hindrance than you think, except now nobody is seeing my schedule on the daily.
There's no real problem with being up for the day at 2am if you don't have to pretend to be alert and productive from 8 to 4:30 later that same day. I get more done at work because I can square it all away early and then just babysit email the rest of the day. If you don't have to commute, you don't have to avoid the hell of being 15 hours awake while on the bus home - for perspective, if you normally get up at 7 like a normal person, my 5pm is your 10pm.
When breakfast is at 3am, lunch comes around 10:30 -- which is good if you're supposed to take a dose of meds at 1pm on an empty stomach. I no longer have to take my lunch break all in a chunk either; I can eat lunch at a leisurely pace and still only take 20 minutes, and use the rest of my break time to cook or clean in short increments, or just spend a few minutes playing with the cats.
And my ability to stick to a schedule is better, because I have to enforce it myself...but I also can. No need to mess with alarms I'll likely ignore if I can set my work lamp to turn itself off when it's lunch time. If I have to get up to turn it back on, I might as well fix lunch, after all. No need to worry about finishing early and not being able to go home -- I can just walk away and keep email alerts going on my phone until official quitting time.
If I had to go back to in person office work, I could; I knew how to cope before. But I have to admit I'd be really bitter about it.
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#super tired bc i havent slept properly in like 3 days#i have Slept but in like. 1-3 hour stretches...#anyway the mental illness is Popping Off rn#i know bc im starting to consider downloading a dating app and literally. why.#and ofc there's the crippling loneliness soul crushing depression fact that i mostly did not leave my bed today#and the deep anxiety & work stress thats been fucking w/ my sleep#and ofc the general inability to fall asleep and Stay asleep#all i can hope is that i actually sleep mostly through 2night i need to have a functional brain tomorrow....
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𝚆𝚒𝚜𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝚃𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑
How the LADS Men take care of you when you get your wisdom teeth removed. A/N: Slightly w/ MC timeline, but it’s mainly just you reader ……. & Get your wisdom teeth removed [Requested by: kookieluvs]
𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎
he doesn't like the dentist telling him what to do, but expects you to follow all of the dentist orders
submits a Leave of Absence to your job for you
has a timer set for your pain meds
will not give you extra no matter how much you pout & beg
holds your chin while he switches out your gauze for you
comments on how cute you are with gauze filling your cheeks
brings you all kinds of soft food soups, smoothies, etc and makes sure your fridge is stocked so you have something to eat while he's at work
removes all the straws from your place so you don't even get the chance to use one
will still continue to indulge in all the sweets he wants even though you can't have any
he promised to take you to eat all your favorite foods as soon as you're healed up
buys new pillows incase you bleed on your current ones
𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕
the type to giggle at your swollen cheeks
has you stay with him while you heal up saying "I'll safe guard you for now until you're healed Miss Bodyguard"
keeps a tea towel within arms reach to catch your drool and/or blood
helps you change your gauze, basically just there to hand you the fresh gauze
calls you a chipmunk for sure
sketches you while you sleep emphasizing your chubby cheeks
hides your pain meds so you dont take extra
makes you paint to take your mind off the pain
is bouncing off the walls at the fact that you'll be with him 24/7 while you heal up
cuddles, cuddles, cuddles he'd hold you while you napped and while you complained about the pain
𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛
paging nurse Xavier, paging nurse Xavier
this man wouldn't let you do a damn thing by yourself
right after the removal he's getting you home stripping you down and getting cozy pajamas on you
sections out your pain meds and makes a schedule for when they need to be taken
took a leave of absence from work to take care of you
"Xav I got my wisdom teeth removed I can still function" he's not hearing that he's showering with you, moisturizing you, skincare routine and putting lip balm on you
you would think you were in a full body cast the way he wouldn't let you lift a finger
changes your gauze for you
spoon feeds you even though you can feed yourself
Princess treatment like a mf
he’s sitting you on the bathroom counter and let’s you rest your head in his hands while he gently brushes your teeth for you
𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜
internally bouncing off the fucking walls that you're staying with him while you heal
keeps having to remind the twins that you can't eat solid food
puts your pain meds on the highest shelf or space he can find so you can't get to them
has his chef prepare the finest menu of soft foods just for you
carries you wherever you need to go
lets you lay on him during your naps and doesn't care if you get blood or drool on him
puts the pain meds in your mouth and holds the glass for you while you drink
wipes your tears when you start crying from the pain but you can't have more for another 4-6 hours
uses his evol to hold your head up and switch your gauze out
doesn't want you doing anything alone so he's showering with you, towel dries you, moisturizes you, and sits you on the counter to gently do your skincare routine
"the kitten has morphed into a chipmunk"
has the twins keep an eye on you when he has to step out
Luke & kieran freak out when you start crying asking for pain meds because only Sylus knows where they are
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lads x you#lads x reader#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#love and deep space#nikaaaaimagine
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