#& youre gonna act like thats not shit BECAUSE i dont work my life away??

[ghost-of-someone]

🦋

[princessbrunette]

pervyneighbor!rafe mixed w innocent!reader fhfufj .. imagine he's scarin off guys that leave her apt, workin behind the scenes to make sure he's the only man in her life she'll need. sabotaging friendships or relationships even. gettin a real ego boost outta her walkin across to his door like :((( the shower's broken again n i dunno how to fix it .. - 🍓

🌺⋆｡°🧉°⋆. ࿔*:･🤍

the funniest thing is he acts like it’s a total inconvenience to him because he’s such a brat at his core, not sure how to express the softness he feels towards you without being a dick about it.

he feels like he’s hit the jackpot when he gets a knock at his door — opening to find you, a little damp, wearing a silk robe so thin that your hard nipples poke right through. you suck on a swollen bottom lip, eyes all worried and nervy.

“and what seems to be the problem today?” he leans on the doorframe, glancing behind you to see if his dad was lurking about anywhere before back at your sweet face.

“i’m really sorry to bother you, but my shower suddenly turned cold and won’t turn warm again. m’not sure what happened.” you huff and he nods slowly, scratching his cheek.

“and… you don’t have the phone number of a single handyman who can fix that shit for you, s’what you’re tellin’ me.” he licks his lips making you press your thighs together beneath your robe. you could have called a plumber sure — but you didn’t like letting strange men into your home when no one was around. you knew rafe — and he always looked after you.

“just trust you more…” you look down at your fluffy pink slides, awkwardly wiggling painted toenails as you await an answer. he smirks when you look away, knowing he’s always got you right where he wants you.

“damn right. lemme uh, lemme come take a look, yeah? probably something fixable.” he leads you back to your house with a hand on your back— just a step behind you so that he could see the way the skin of your damp ass cheeks cling to the silk fabric of the robe, the movement of them clear beneath their cloak.

he moves you aside to take a look at your shower, fiddling about with things, occasionally walking over to the boiler before you hear a small “ah.” and the water runs once more, steam eventually apparent.

“rafe! you’re so smart! what did you do?” you grin.

“dont worry about what i did alright— y’see this? dont turn this lever anymore. doesn’t work, thats what broke it. alright, sweetheart?”

“thank you rafe!” you wrap your arms around his neck, warm tits pressing to his chest through the silk. if he just pulled the string keeping it together, you’d be totally exposed. he feels his cock bloat at the thought.

“yeah, yeah. you don’t call anyone else if you’ve got trouble in here. okay? i’m your guy.”

“you’re my guy.” you repeat softly, before staring pensively at the shower. “would you mind staying? just incase it breaks again when i’m showering…” you pout and he huffs out a chuckle of disbelief through a smirk. you had to be messing with him.

“i’ll be just outside. yeah?”

you keep the door ajar, a perfect gift for him to peep through the gap into the mirror, seeing you lather your soft body through the steamy glass of the shower door. one of these days you were gonna pay for teasing him like this.

🌺⋆｡°🧉°⋆. ࿔*:･🤍

[jellyseungmo]

The sky isnt meant to be purple.

Han Jisung drabble.

warnings. excessive swear words, mentions of alcoholism, arguing. Jisung is kind of a bad boyfriend in the beginning.

These past few weeks with Jisung have been hell. Never seeing him because he's always with friends, then when you do see him, you argue. He's starting to drink heavily lately, which he promised he'd never do. The one thing that set you off the most was when he missed your 4 year anniversary because he was out with Chan and Changbin all day long, and then came back at 3am, while you were asleep.

"where the fuck have you been, Ji." The sentence came out in the form of a statement rather than a question as y/n woke up to bangs in the kitchen.

"I was just with the boys." He looks up, walking towards them. He gave you a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"I missed you..." He whispered against the top of your hair.

"Don't start with that shit, Jisung." Y/n moved away from him, still half asleep.

"Y/n, don't get an attitude, you're gonna act like this when you havent see me all day?!"

"that's not my fucking fault, is it?" They walk towards the living room, getting their pillows and blankets ready as they mumbled.

"staying out all day...drinking...missing our 4 year anniver- how the fuck do you miss your anniversary?!" They blurt out.

"just another year of your bullshit, dear." He sighs, walking to the kitchen again.

"MY bullshit?! Oh, Ji. Don't even get me started" Y/n turns around to look at Jisung.

"Y/n, while we're at this, why don't you pay me back the money you stole while I was out." He blurts out.

"THATS MY MONEY! I'm the only one that works. You fucking stay out all of the time while I work for YOU. To benefit who? You. And I swear on my life, Han Jisung, if you call me a thief again- that's one thing I'm not. A fucking thief." Y/n starts to tear up as they stand up, the tone of their voice sturn and shaky.

"I make money too." He shrugs.

"My ass. The only thing you do is spend my money on alcohol, and then pull shit from the sky to blame me for." They step closer to Jisung, as he starts to get pissed off.

"Y/n, I'm the reason you have a place to stay. I'm surprised I havent dumped your ass and kicked you out. I'M the ONLY reason you have a good life." He starts to yell, Y/n crosses their arms across their chest and looks down.

"I don't even wanna fucking look at you anymore, it's 3 o clock, goddamn. I'm going to bed." They sigh, obviously trying to hide tears. Jisung suddenly starts to feel guilty, and runs his fingers through his hair, trying to come up with what to say next as Y/n walks away to their shared room.

"God fucking damnit." He mutters and cleans up the kitchen, locking the doors to the house and turning off the lights. After around an hour of thinking to himself, he finally walked upstairs to their room and opened the door as carefully as possible. He turned on the flashlight on his phone and put his keys away, took off his shoes, and went to lay down beside his sleeping significant other.

"Baby..." He hums, wrapping his arms around their body.

"what?" They sigh tiredly, eyes still closed.

"I'm really sorry. I know I'm a dick, and...and you dont deserve to be treated like this." His voice low and calm, just the way y/n liked it.

"I know, and I dont really want to forgive you right now." They whisper, turning to look at Jisung.

"I know, my love....but really, I'm sorry...I'll do anything." He pauses for a second and grabs Y/n's hand, caressing his thumb against it.

"I'll stop drinking, I'll get a real job, I'll make it up to you."

"you can't really make it up to me, I wanted today to be a good day. I mean damn, it's been four years. Two since we celebrated."

"I know, i know." he hums, kissing their cheek.

"Just please, let me do something for you. Anything you want, you got it." He grins as Y/n looks up at him.

"what's my favorite color?" they furrow their eyebrows at him.

"Purple. it's always been purple."

"well, if you can make the sky purple...then you made it up to me" They smile softly.

"Goddamn it, Y/n. you're so difficult." He laughs as they share a well needed hug.

"Can you stay home tomorrow, please?" Y/n looks Jisung in the eyes as their foreheads become pressed against each other. They exchange a few small kisses in that time.

"Of course, baby. But I can't promise a purple sky." He chuckles.

"Ah, maybe the sky isnt meant to be purple." They shrug.

"Just like you arent meant to be mad at me" He tilts his head and grins.

Y/n rolls their eyes at the witty comment, and lays their head on Jisung's shoulder.

"Right...just like that." They sigh, and kiss Jisung's neck as they close their eyes to go to sleep.

[spawnradio]

... ill be honest man. i havent fully, i dunno if i ever will fully get used to it. but the difference between us is that i grew up there, yknow? you had like. normalcy before you were there, a kinda baseline for what life is like that i didnt have. and youve been there for a long time, so like, that baseline gets worn away, and you lose your sense of normalcy where like. i never had it to begin with. im starting from scratch here where youre like. relearning to walk almost.

its hard. i think its always gonna be a learning curb. fit, my dude, i didnt know what a microwave was until i was off that server for like 3 years. but i can say its gotten better. yknow i didnt sleep in a real bed until like. fuck. not quite a year ago i think? ive been off of 2b2t for almost 4 years now i think? give or take. for the first while i just... never stopped treating things like 2b. there was always a catch, always danger, nothing could ever just. be. but i found people who i was. maybe not stable with but who helped me. and given, that kind of. ended badly when my closest friend got beheaded. fun fact, apparently we have a wikipedia page bc of that shit. but i really didnt get like... better? until i was taught that anarchy didnt have to be Bad. that i wasnt inherently destructive because of where i was from. and i mean. im still not normal. im never gonna be normal. if i ever die theres a decent chance im gone for good bc of my client bullshit, which is something i can never get rid of. its part of me now. its always gonna inform the way i act, how i see the world, even after ive worked past a lot of it. hell, my name was picked because of it. i think, now, i can say im mostly used to it. i sleep in a bed. i have friends, loved ones, i have a room and its permanent and mine with decorations and personal touches and my bed is In There and not hidden somewhere else. its safe and i dont even have a lock on the door. i have a real place i call home, with people in it i care about, and i feel safe there. i think thats about as used to being off 2b as i can get. i still dont like loud noises, and gapples kinda make me feel sick nowadays, but yknow. a little nausea is better than losing a leg so ill take it. long story. sorry this was a lot, and it doesnt really fully answer the question. i think, personally, youll get used to it. it just takes time. you'll never be quite the same as who you were before. thats okay. 2b, as much as its home for us, really hurt us. you can love something that you know hurt you. it had its good and bad, and we can take that good with us forward. give it time. i know it sucks to hear, but time and good people will help you more than anything. trust yourself and trust your loved ones, and you'll get used to it. its like... a leap of faith almost. 🌕

[His voice, when it comes through, is choked up. It stops after the first few words, though-- radio smooth.] Alright. I let this sit for a few days. Thank you. Shit, thank you. Okay. That's... yeah. I feel better now.

[rainfallbeats]

IDK HOW EDIBLES WORK OK

*slaps my hands on the table* thats ok because i do!

this post ended up being multiple paragraphs long and contains a lot of personal stories so if youre still interested its under the cut. tw for drug use obviously

now granted i havent had that many of them and the only kind ive had were these cookies my brother made but good LORD. sweet JESUS they were strong. like STUPID strong. i remember he prefaced giving me them with "i ate one and thought i was a little worm wiggling in the dirt" and i was like ok i think i can handle it

i could not handle it. strong edibles will slonk your shit silly style. theyre a bit different than smoking because it kinda all kicks in at once, smoking is usually a milder high unless its like a bong rip. i remember one time it kicked in and i could barely get the words "guys i think the edible hit" out before breaking into a 10 minute laughing fit. i was on another plane i was shot up to the moon

and again these were particularly strong ones it really just depends on the strain of weed and the dosage, but some of the effects ive experienced are as follows:

everything is funny. like everything ever is funny. i will just laugh for any reason if im high enough, you could jangle keys in front of my face and id start cry laughing. weed kind of just makes you stupid like that. ive noticed it helps with the adhd too because ill finally have the patience to sit down and watch things or do tasks without getting irritated

pain numbing/weird funny skin feeling. ive noticed that i usually feel warm when the weed kicks in and thats usually followed by like a tingly feeling and a reduced ability to feel pain. this is nice bc im an idiot who gave myself back pain from sitting weird so this makes it go away. probably not anywhere near as effective for that purpose as pain meds but ive never been on any prescription pain meds or anything that wasnt like, ibuprofen so i dont know

food tastes really fucking good. ive considered going back on my adhd meds with recreational weed bc the meds were an appetite suppressant and thats why i had to stop taking them. weed will make you hungry as FUCK and everything you eat will taste better

lower impulse control, this one is kind of a bad side effect because if you were already thinking about doing stupid shit and you get high then youre gonna do it. one time i was on call with a friend and kept chewing on my fingers til they were bruised bc i wanted to chew on something

slowed perception of time/distorted perception of reality. this one is either scary or cool depending on the person but i find it enjoyable. time will slow DOWN like minutes will feel like hours. every splatoon match i play while high is the longest one of my life, and ive found i usually perform better in games because im less stressed and more just absorbed in what im doing. that combined with the fact that my brain blurs the line between whats real and fake so if im playing a game itll feel real to me. i will be staring at the inside of the grizzco building and feel like im actually there, its crazy. playing video games while high is fun

ive noticed that if i get too high i kinda feel dizzy and not in control of my body, my head feels like its underwater and ill be sitting there rocking back and forth waiting to come down a little. which would be scarier but thanks to the funny giggly chemicals its not that bad. but its also not pleasant when youre in a social situation and want to try to act normal

im not actually sure what me dumping all this info accomplishes but maybe someone will see it and itll help them write a character that smokes weed or something. and like granted these are only my own experiences and not everyone is gonna share them but regardless, thank you for the ask

[pinksparklelps]

I really need to get this off my chest. Whether to just, inform, or give myself some kind of peace of mind. Because i think about this so frequently and sometimes it gets so overwhelming. Everything will be under the cut, so please, protect yourself if you do not like to read about discourse/drama.

First things first, im gonna do what i REALLY dont want to do, and thats ping who exactly im talking to. Even if they dont work at all. @velvet-sword @fluffnstuffq you two. You two are the main sources of my endless thoughts.

I want to start this off with how childish you were. Your “proof” is not proof. I am not, and never will be that stupid asshole terf Florence. I am just as much of a victim as all of you, and you have no right to say otherwise. I guess i could say its my fault for getting so close to popular people that are/are nearly adults when im STILL a kid. And when all of that shit went down i was, what, 14? And you expect me to act like the mature one.

Im so tired of thinking of this almost everyday because you caused me, AND MY GF so much pain and paranoia. Why, WHY on gods green earth would i EVER want to be florence? Tell me. Give me what you think are my thoughts. Because let me tell you, I HATE ATTENTION. Good, bad, neutral, ALL OF IT!! I do not like to be complimented because i feel like i dont deserve it, i dont like to be yelled at because i feel like a failure, i hate when people even LOOK at me because who KNOWS what on earth they could think about me? Even if its just polite eye contact, the thought of someone watching me makes me freeze.

I admit, i have used gacha back then, and I occasionally use it now because the minigames are fun. Character creators are good because i can make characters like that if im not feeling inspired. But SOOO many people use gacha life/club/whatever. Whos to say one of you didnt or did have it installed? I have no proof it was you, you have no proof it was me.

And the fact that you were harassing more people just solidifies the fact that i made a huge mistake in idolizing you back then. I was just a kid who like a silly game about music and shapes, and you basically ostracized me from the entire fandom. I havent played the game in like 2 years because of the terrible memories of you.

And Blitz!! Remember that one person you mentioned that you got us all against? I know them. Theyre actually a nice person. AND. You and gingy. You crossed the line, especially gingy. Stealing my characters after the fact, redesigning them EVER SO SLIGHTLY, and making a goddamn story with them? Even my spiritual oc’s that represent parts of me. You guys are supposed to be role models. You are popular, and older, and you do this to a fucking child? Ive been more mature than youve been in that situation. You all sent hate anons when i just walked away. I wanted to leave but you kept chasing me. Funny how i got no more hate after threatening to block them.

Speaking of which, “changing typing styles.” Only way i change my typing/writing is for fanfiction/stories and when i meet new people. I naturally incorporate others words and phrasing into my language. Hell, one of my new friends got “skill issue” from me haha. It seems to me like you couldve been projecting. Taking your actions and saying IVE done them so everyone looks at me instead of you. Funny, since you care so much about justice. Justice for everyone except the child who was also a victim of tracing and cyber bullying.

And i cant BELIEVE you would think i was abusing my gf. Shes smarter than that you know. If she were in a bad situation i know she would want to leave. If i knew i were hurting someone i would feel so guilty and push who i was hurting away. Well it seems my “loving and sweet gf” facade has worked for 2 years huh. Impressive of me isnt it? No. Me and my s/o are happy and we help each other grow every day. I do something wrong? They point it out, I apologize and do my best to fix it, and vice versa. Unlike you, i know that we are happy and in a really healthy relationship.

And since im talking about all this, rainb! Yes you! You were so incredibly uncomfortable to be around. Just seeing you type was enough for fight or flight to kick in. You were so harsh and not at all understanding and its a miracle you were allowed to be a mod. Sometimes i wonder how many people in that server got hurt and how much the server has fallen into disarray. I just hope people get out of toxic situations like i did.

And lastly, how dare you make fun of my fucking vents. You, you all are utterly amazing! I couldnt even begin to THINK of the possibility of someone doing that! You fucking assholes. I can be scared of my mom and still seek guidance from her. Shes my MOTHER! And i did NOT hide behind her, and it was only ONE TIME when you all were ganging up on me in a private chat. Its not my fault i froze and fucking broke down because you thought i could cause mass chaos in a community i loved. The second you start making fun of someones feelings that they trusted you with, you have become the monster.

No matter how much I despise each and every one of you, i do not wish for you to come to harm, even though you so obviously deserve it. I hate that i want you to be happy. But my mom told me it shows that im just a kind person. Sometimes i miss you, and i hate it because you were awful. I wholeheartedly believe in karma, but i also believe you can do better. I want, need, and deserve an apology, but i know you wont give it. And even if you do, im never ever going to forgive you for what you did to me. I once almost committed suic*de because i couldnt contact you and i didnt want to lose my friends. I couldve been sent to the mental institute back then because i cared so much about losing who i loved. But i see i put my life in the wrong hands.

I felt so hopeless in that server, but in my new group, i see so many talented people and know i trust them. I love them, and i dont feel sad knowing im not as good as them. They are talented, and even if i cant fully see it, i am too. I could never see myself as good enough with you all. But now im happier, and have good friends and family that i know care about me, even if i dont fully think i deserve it. Im happy with where i am. Im happy with how much ive grown.

And even though it hurt so much, im happy i met you guys because it was a learning experience that i never asked for.

I dont care what you have to say to or about me anymore.

Im happy.

[furibond]

ok imunna air out the rest of my marineford frustrations cause externalizing stuff helps me let go of it, under readmore for convenience

ok so part of my frustration comes from being spoiled - if you know from the start that the pirates will fail, watching all these cool new pirates struggle against smarmy marine assholes knowing the assholes will come out on top doesnt feel fun, while i imagine the intended experience is for the viewer to be rooting for the pirates expecting them to win, and then be shocked and grief-struck when ace dies.

some of my other grievances are legitimate, though!

1st problem is this arc is too focused on new characters. we already lost the strawhats at sabaody, but in impel down the focus was consistently on luffy, with a rotating cast of familiar faces joining him and only 3 new allies introduced. marineford is a constant parade of new faces, some of the main emotional beats of the arc hang on those new faces, and sometimes it does not work at all. like, oars jr, sure, the flashback with the hat was cute enough and the animation and voice acting compelling enough that yeah, you feel for the guy when he nearly reaches ace then drops not-dead. squard, though? i dont feel shocked by his betrayal, cause i dont know him and he shows up outta nowhere with a spider on his face and a shirohige-sized sword. i dont feel moved by shirohige's forgiveness and his repentance, cause i barely know shirohige at this point and squard's little flashback after his betrayal wasnt enough to make him endearing. theres a stretch of episodes after the tsunamis freeze where luffy doesnt show up at all and it is Such a breath of fresh air when the impel down ship drops down in the middle of the battle cause why should i care abt this war otherwise?

also maybe it's just cause i'm bad at strategy but the battle makes so little sense to me? like it seems pretty clear that shirohige could destroy like all the marine small fry and the 3 admirals could destroy all the pirate small fry, but after their big opening moves of the twin tsunamis getting frozen by aokiji, they p much just sit back and watch for a huge chunk of the arc? like yeah having all the small fry wiped out early on would be lame, but u could have the admirals engage shirohige and the division commanders and then shift the narrative focus to the smaller battles, so i dont have to wonder why all the big names arent doing shit. the shichibukai get a pass cause it's been long established that they barely listen to the marines and it was an ordeal just to get them to show up, but everyone else confuses me

finally, ace's stupid death, copied from a chat:

alright so i knew from tumblr and fanfic that ace was gonna die saving luffy from akainu. alright, sounds angsty, i can get behind this. somehow nobody ever mentions that the reason akainu had such an easy shot at luffy was BECAUSE ACE STOPPED TO ARGUE WITH HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR ESCAPE CAUSE HE WAS TALKING SHIT

like your father is literally sacrificing his life back there so that you and your fam can escape with your lives and you gotta "defend his honour" by throwing your life away fighting some shitty marine instead of honoring his sacrifice by getting the hell outta dodge??

and additionally the mechanics of his death r so dumb??? he dies because magma burns hotter than fire? no it fucking doesn't?? in what world???? so the guy made of literal fucking fire dies cause the hot rocks were too hot and burned the fire? i.

aight thats it thats all i had to rant about, now i feel better

[unanimousone]

J, Tues, 12/09/2023

super questioning when i work a 13 hour day and just feel hyped and kind of want to go workout. but i dont think that im going to. i think i'll just take a shower and chill out. i have to go back tomorrow, and i think i will be there til Thursday. they say that that should be our last day, but who knows how long it'll be before they act up again and do some dumb violent shit? so here i am just thinking and thinking some more. about everything. the good and the bad but the good thing is that im not really obesessing about anything specific. i usually will if something is bothering me or on the other side of the fence, if something is sooooo fucking good and i dont want it to end. but i dont really even dothat anymore because i know that it leads to rash and impulsive acts that can usually turn things from good to stupid. and thats not what i want. i mean i do obsess about you but i make it a think to have some control over it. so its in a healthier way than not. i only want things to be healthy with us. and i know that it doesnt always work that way, not at first but it can be accomplished with time and practice. something that im willing to do. more goals, baby!! i definitely have to put myself in check and see the real and not let my mind play too much games on me. and when it does i have to just remind myself that it isnt all about me and that life is happening weather i like it or not so i just have to try my best to enjoy the wins and let go of things that really shouldnt matter to me. but what if they do matter to me? and i just dont know how to go about expressing my insecurities and such? what if the things thast my mind if fucking with me about are things that really need to be addressed so that i can grow further? but no…see im so back and forth. i dont want to sound dumb but i am how i am and idk if you will like that. i think that i may come off as bugging and in all of this i really have no right to even question anything, nor is so much of anything any of my business. but the mind will still do what it does, but to be honest i have seen much improvement in myself and that is something good. i hate my negative behaviors and such and im glad that im making progress towards them. but this is only one thing to be in here and see progress. what about in person? is that gonna fuck me up completely? am i gonna have to learn a whole new level of growth? and am i ever gonna get out of my bullshit ways? i mean wtf is wrongwith me? i have a lot of work to do and i know that i dont want to push you away. i dont want to lose you. its one thing if you happen to go another route, but if im the one to cause the loss of you it would be such a disappointment and i would probably just go into questioning my worth and such, yada yada, well i guess i would feel down if you were the one to decide to go another route too, sigh…kind of hard to explain. im a fucking nut and you have me going crazy for you. its good and bad, i think. but the bad comes from my side of it all. its good because you are fucking perfect and positive and openminded, and lovely, and beautiful, and i could just go on for days. but i just have never met anyone like you and its just great. youre fucking amazing. i cant get enough. and im going to do my best in the situation of "us"

[apepsicherry]

stupid rant

i know this fucking shit is gonna be dumb but i just gotta write this down so i can look back on it. what is the point of struggling in life. this capitalistic hell cycle will never end. but even if i wanted to give up i cant. it'd be a disgrace to the sacrifices my parents made to get me here. to give me a better life. i dont know why im acting so selfish and like a baby. i havent struggled through anything as bad as my parents in life. i shouldnt be thinking this way but i still do. i hate myself for it. i have to act more amture and accept my fate and just give in to the system. the only thing an individual can do in the system is work with it and not against. even if by a stroke of luck one were to escape the sytem there'd be no point. you'd still see your fellow people still in the shitty hellhole that is the system. the best one can do is be the best self they can be. they can just try to be honest to themselves and those around them. just try to make the world a better place. but still this notion of what one must be is flawed. who defines what the best self is? its just a cope someone comes up with to justify their actions and be able to live with theirselves. Even if someone sets a standard of what it means to be good enough and be a good person there is still a way to improve. every good action always has an ulterior motive to it, even if the people doing those actions dont realize it (or dont want to). i know this probably looks like shitty rant by a shitty teenager that doesnt know anything about the world but i just had to get this off my chest. all i can do in life is try to be my best self and try to help those around me the best way i can. but how do i know who i should help. i know that people are flawed and are in some way deserving of help but sometimes i just dont want to help people. i act in a selfishb way and i hate myself for that. its just that its hard to want to try to help my fellow human. i wonder if religion would be the correct option for me. maybe id find the answers im seeking in one way or another. thats atleast what my parents recommend. but i feel like religion is just a way for humans to cope with the inevetibality of death and what lays beyond it. they use it as a way to justify their actions and put themselves on a pedastool(??) and put other people down. i know that religion has brought good things to people but i feel like its just a giant scam. i know that i am in no position to critizice people who are religious but sometimes i just feel bad for them. i know that ive tried to end my life multiple times. sometimes i still wonder if suicide is the right option. i know it isnt but it still lingers in the back of my mind. i dont know why i have this lingering thought in my head even though i am living a good life. i have exceptional parents and an amazing life, but i always feel empty. maybe because i havent been the best self i can be, maybe because i feel that no matter what i do it wont be enough, or maybe becuase i know that i often lie and defraud people who put their complete trust in me. sometimes i wonder if i deserve to have all i have. i know that im a shitty human being but i try to cope and say that i just did what i needed to or it was the only option, but i know this isnt right. hell i know that im a fucking garbage person. theres a huge disconnect between what people see me as and what i know myself to be. i guess its probably just the process of growing up but i dont want to feel this way. someday i hope this feeling goes away and i will be able to see myself as people see me to be. idk this rant is shitty. i fuckin hope this shit gets better ig. tldr: im a fuckin dipshit with shit opinions

[ileaveclawmarks]

different anon here but I just want to say I genuinely appreciate how unapologetic and confident you are about ur body hair especially as someone who is attracted to women with body hair and as someone who prefers to not shave but feels pressured to due to societal norms and what not idk I guess I'm just wondering how you like got over/ stopped caring about what other people think cause that's what's difficult for me :/

Thats literally everything i want to hear. i love doing this cuz not only is the insane excess body hairy a huge automatic dyke magnet that i dont even have to put any work into, but also because for every 10 people who look at me with revulsion theres always 1 person who thinks … maybe i can also have the confidence to do that. Thats my revolution. okay this ones gonna be long so hit that read more

So. when i was a novice non-shaver going out in public with even just a sliver of hairy leg showing literally gripped me in fear, like panic stricken burning fear. It was insane and pathetic and ridiculous how disabling this terror was over such a stupid arbitrary thing. I used 2 have repetitive nightmares about it, just the sickest dread terror imaginable. LMFAO.

If ur gonna ask how to get over that fear the straight answer is u cant, not fully. This is the product of some serious conditioning and socialization that has been at work since u were born. like it doesnt just go away. Even i havent gotten over it, like sometimes i seriously struggle with it. U can definitely get used to it though. I prefer to not shave and feel that everyday terror over shaving. And ill tell u why, so u can approach it with the same reasoning.

first of all i hated the physical act of shaving, really fckin hated waxing, every hair removal method is either painful, time consuming or expensive. And its worthless anyways because ur stubble is back in by the next morning. Who benefits?? and what are the consequences? I am making my body unnatural, conformist, and alien to me through a tedious and painful process. why do i harm myself in this way? Why put my psyche thru this? why is my body wrong in its natural state? what happens if i DONT shave?

and this is the crux of the matter: NOTHING HAPPENS. Other than the fact that it creates this fear, there is NO consequence to not shaving. In general no one will care and no one will treat you any different. Nothing will change in your daily life. you may likely get stares or rude comments from strangers on occasion but at the end of the day those things dont really matter. They seriously dont matter at all. Let go of the need to be judged correctly by all strangers. These people are fleeting milliseconds of your life. Remember this every time u go out.

and u must go out ... in this case exposure therapy really does work. Theres literally nothing else 2 do but go out unshaved. Just force urself over and over. Just do it. Do it until u dont even realize anymore. The day will come! U wont even notice it until ur looking at the women around u in public and u find it strange to see them hairless. On this day u will revel in ur shavelessness. Thank god u dont look like the prepubescent pedophilic fantasy that the mans world wants u to look like. U will view it with revulsion and horror, the idea of making urself into a little hairless girl to emulate their sick pornography and obsession with fucking literal minors. Never again!!!! This is where the revolution starts!!!

and i will tell u now. Once u finally grow out ur leg hair and theres no stubble or itchiness left it is going to feel so nice. Stroke it nd shit, for real. This is important. Look at it with luv. If you cant do that, look at it with neutrality. GET USED 2 ITS PRESENCE ... this is ur one and only body.

Now, if u can, find urself a group of women or lesbians who also dont shave. Look for urself in them and feel comforted by the fact that u wont b judged here. Get ur mind used to the NORMALCY of body hair. If ur lucky u might have other lesbian or even just alternative friends who find your body hair sexy or are jealous of ur confidence in growing it out. HUGE EGO BOOST! Take it when u can find it. This one helped me a lot because i am a natural attention whore and narcissist.

And besides if ur anything like me in that u fucking hate males with a militant blood boiling violent rage, then u might also remind urself: the struggle you face over your body hair is ABSENT in all the men that you see around you. Absent. Never there and never will be. what gives them the right and not me? They live their lives so mindlessly free of any of this. Dont shave your legs cuz … fuck em, thats why!!! 🗣 Show those sick mfers. Dyke revolution by just walking down the street and being comfortable in ur own skin. Love the strange looks that u get in public. Fuck them!!!

So thats how i mostly stopped caring about being unshaven, kind of a mix of acknowledging how stupid it is to do so as well as a bit of exposure therapy, community, and good old dyke hatred and cynicism. Remember that every time you go out you are showing other women that this is a possibility for them too. I hope this little guide gave u some inspiration for the future. I appreciate how hard it is to stop shaving but honestly once u do stop its even harder to start doing it again. Good luck and i wish u all the strength, drive, confidence and attitude u r going 2 need. And if u ever want to talk more about it im always right here at ileaveclawmarks on tumblr.com ... 🤍🤍🤍

[unkokurt]

I dont know if you will ever see this, and frankly I dont care at this point I just need to get this shit off my chest. I can honestly say that I wish i never met you. I wish I never sent you that message telling you how i really felt after all these years. I shouldve left you unhappy and alone with Devonte. All I got was a girlfriend who neglected my needs and still expected me to meet hers regardless of how she treated me! A girlfriend who didnt take anything i said or felt into consideration. A girlfriend who only put herself first and never cared how it affected me or our relationship, a girlfriend who always played the victim and runs back home when anything goes wrong even if her actions caused it! A girlfriend who was mentally and physically abusive. When i said i deserved better i meant that shit whole heartedly. I repeatedly told you what was bothering me and what needed to change and yet you made no effort at all to fix those things. I guess you feel as if you dont need to do any work on yourself and thats fine, but im good on that bullshit. You gave me crumbs and expected so much in return. You didnt even give the bare minimum literally time, and support! I shouldnt have had to ask for these things to begin with!

I want you to know I didnt leave because of money, it may have been a part of the issue but its far from the main reason I left. I left because you were a bad partner and girlfriend. You were selfish as fuck and just told me what i wanted to hear rather than genuinely fixing the issue, my needs never were a priority. It took what 2 years and a handful of fights and break ups for you to start making time for me? Yet any time you had you’d go spend with friends instead because “we lived together”. Then when id be irritated about it you’d try and make it seem as if i was jealous you had friends! Like nah i was irritated because you never made time for me but will make time for just about anybody else! Why i waited that long for quality time with you is beyond me! All the while supporting us while you finished college! Then the moment you could actually help out. You leave me to fend for myself yet again! Not like id been asking for some financial support for a year and a half +. Your response everytime was “but what about MY savings” like im not paying 4k a month in bills because of you and your fucking “needs”! Then you have the nerve to call me fucking selfish! The funniest part is when you told me “if you had this opportunity you wouldnt take it?” To be real with you, if it meant leaving you to fend for yourself knowing full well you were struggling I wouldnt. But thats why me and you arent the same. I wouldnt make my partners life harder just for some financial gain but i guess thats just me being selfish huh? And honestly you telling me youd do anything to make it work between living with me and your grandmas just to literally do nothing and tell me im on my own was total bullshit. I shouldve just broke things off months ago like i planned. Idk why i listened to you when you said youd do anything because i knew damn well you were lying!

You make me out to be such a bad person and you make all these post on tumblr like “get you somebody whos in the mood for you everyday” guess what I was in the mood for you everyday. I wanted to marry you and have a family the whole 9 yards. But you PUSHED me away and made me resent and hate you. Its wild how you sit there pretending to be a victim in all of this when you literally left me to figure shit out on my own for the fucking millionth time! Like you really thought i wasnt gonna get sick of your shit? You fucked me over and acted like it wasnt a big deal because you were playing savior to your family. That was the final straw for me. You constantly putting EVERYTHING before me, and our relationship. I never wanted to walk away but you left me no choice. You showed me your true colors time and time again, Id have to be a fucking idiot to keep letting you do this shit to me! I just want closure and to move on with my life after spending 10 years wasted on some fantasy relationship that was shit both times around! Same bullshit just 10 years apart. Id say i wish you the best but id be lying. I hope the day you decide to put your all into somebody they break your fucking heart like you did mine! I hope you learn what it feels like to put somebody first just for them to put you last when it really matters. I hope they walk out on you every time you make them upset! I hope you wake up one day and regret ever treating me this way and you have to live with that for the rest of your fucking life! Itll be no surprise to me if none of your future relationships work out if you continue to treat your significant others this way. Nobody wants to be neglected and treated like their replaceable.

[justlikejohn]

i really desperately want to make a little comic series about adachis perspective of the murders in inaba because i think what the writers left out (and implied) is just. SO interesting

long text post and extra EXTRA spoilery so be warned

1) its been brought up before (i think to this clip of a twitch streamer) but adachi is introduced when he runs across the screen to vomit at the sight of a corpse (fair) but like. thats the woman he assaulted a few days ago. its fair for adachi to think “i didnt kill her. but oh fuck, if the police knew that i threw her in a tv, they might suspect me, i might be FRAMED-” and to panic to that end instead. like. “if shes killed herself, or someones kidnapped her, they might think its me.” what is going through his head at that point? i dont think hed associate his actions with the outcome - i dont think hed immediately connect the tv with her death, i think hes too childish for that line of thinking. i bet hes thinking, like, “god, shes gone and gotten herself killed, this is gonna ruin my life..!” i think itd take much more time for adachi to figure out what happened than most people are giving him the credit for. and i COMPLETELY disagree that vomiting in that instance was an act to cover his ass - i dont even think he believes hes in real danger of being suspected at that point. idk i think it was just. brilliant writing. it can be interpreted in SO many ways and its such a small, forgettable part that shows SO much character

2) i think itd be fun to include a few physical bits of evidence against him, too. like, what if when he pushed yamano in, there was a struggle and he got scratched on his neck pretty badly? or, she was resisting so hard, she had dug her fingernails so far into his arm it bled and left scars? i imagine an interaction with dojima that goes along the lines of, like,

dojima: “so. had a girl over last night, adachi?”

and adachi is just shitting himself. like oh fuck oh shit he KNOWS what the fuck do i do so he awkwardly laughs and says “haha.. what do you.. whaddya mean, dojima..?” 

and dojima gestures to adachis collar. cause its done all the way up. and adachi never wears his shirt that formally, so in dojimas eyes, hes thinking “this guy has a love bite, i bet. he thinks hes slick, haha.”

and adachi is still sweating bullets cause beneath his collar are claw marks from his struggle with yamano. clear fingernail marks down the side of his neck where she tried to grab at him. and he hasnt had the time to figure out how make up works yet, but that night he goes to the drug store and gets ANYTHING that will cover up the marks. hes washing foundation off his shirts for weeks. 

and like, as the viewer, youre thinking “he doesnt need to do that; just say it was a cat or something” but thats the POINT! could you imagine to sheer PARANOIA upon murdering somebody?? youre suddenly policing EVERYTHING you do. not to say adachi wasnt aware of his presentation and how people perceived him beforehand, (i bet he did!) but it turns from “how do i play people” to “how do i get away with this” in an instant. and soon, it would turn back into “how do i play people,” but like exploring the mental strain that it would put someone under lol

3) also. this man has a persona. idk if this gets explained in the true ending (forgive me if it does; i missed it by ONE text prompt and my last save file is like 5 hours away from the option lmao) but doesnt that imply that hes accepted his shadow self..? like. THATS why hes like that. so, pessimistic and nihilistic. what was his shadow self like? what was adachi trying to repress? was it bitterness and resentment? perhaps thats why he turned out so angry - he embraced the anger he felt towards to world early on in the game. did his shadow stem from feelings of hopelessness, feelings that he has no meaning and no worth? was it an angry shadow, like yosukes? a bitter shadow, like chies? 

or - to break the pattern - was his shadow guilt-ridden, scared, paranoid? if adachi was trying to display feelings that he was functioning and well, would his shadow instead be all the fear he had tried to repress? what did adachi not want to see in himself? 

either way, he accepted his shadow, and still turned out the way he did. he was committed to his own entertainment to the end. i think thats so interesting - sometimes, you shut down parts of yourself for a reason. thats the whole fuckin POINT of persona 4!

4) im just spitballing here (this was supposed to be a paragraph and ive been writing for 40 minutes) but like. what if adachi was so insane BECAUSE he killed people, not the other way around? sort of kind of accidentally murdering someone in a fit of bitter nice guy rage, then ABSOLUTELY murdering a HIGHSCHOOL GIRL on PURPOSE, then MANIPULATING a mentally ill guy into KIDNAPPING and TRYING TO KILL CHILDREN, HOSPITALISING your besites MOTHERLESS CHILD, etc. like, of course adachi did this all on purpose, but i think its so much fun to explore his mindset! at what point did he decide to commit? how long after yamanos corspe was discovered? how long after he killed saki? because by the time the investigation team is on his ass he is FULLY dedicated to the role. not a shred of doubt. hes rationalised everything by that point. how much of his time did he spend thinking about what hed done vs how much to explain why all of it was justified..?

i think the guilt of all that would really truly fuck someone up. point of no return stuff. adachis not some master puppeteer, hes a snowballing maniac on the hunt for entertainment! i know thats like. the whole point of his character lol. but my point was, i think his actions fed his outlook before his outlook influenced his actions. i think that getting away with serial murders for MONTHS would take a real toll on someones psyche; this is especially applicable to those of us who are unstable enough to try shoving a celebrity in a television in the first place

well this was much longer than expected and turned into me rambling about adachi. hey, at least i stuck to a theme! 😅 maybe one day ill turn all these ideas into a comic of some sort. i love thinking about this guy. he is my blorbo :3c

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Heyyy ok but what about dad!tom finding porn on his 15yo boy’s phone and having "the talk" with him 😭😭 I live for this😌

Trying writing again, seriously guys idk whats going on with me. And im terrible at doing “the talks” so take it as it is-

warnings: ya know..porn and praying children<3...and a hint of bisexual!tom👀

Its normal, Porn. The dirty sight for anyone to see. Tom did it once, only once though. He found it pretty creepy and stalkerish that hes watching people have sex. When he was 15 and thought about sex it caused insecurity because he noticed that you HAVE to get naked. It just shivered his veins. well of course until he met you. 

So when Tom and Wesley were cooking for your birthday, Tom forgot an Ingredient. “Hey- wes, can i borrow your phone?” tom struggled, his hands covered in flour as he looked at his sons phone. Wesley's eyes widened as his hands were also covered in flour, he turned, wiping his hands on the black apron before chuckling “y-yeah dad”. Tom laughed and also wiped his hands with a towel before grabbing his phone. Wes’s knees almost gave out as they shook and his body felt like it was going down a roller coaster, he jumped when his dad asked for his code. “Its my birthday” “oh- of course, it is” tom mumbled, leaning on the kitchen island as Wes got back to work, trying not to look weird as normally he would stand over his dads shoulder watching his fingers tap away in his phone, not that he did it before. 

Toms eyebrows furrowed as he bit his bottom lip, wondering if he should search through his phone while he already has it, only to shrug his head no saying thats not a good thing for a father to do. He clicked on the safari tab, Wes’s phone acting slow so he reached and grabbed his glass cup thats filled with water, only to choke and have his eyes widened. “Oh shit” wes mumbled to himself. Tom didnt even look further, he slammed the phone down but both of their ears turned red when a loud pornographic moan left the womans mouth “yeah fuck my cock”. “OH MY GOD” tom yelled in his british accent, grabbing the phone and screaming when he was met with liquids shooting at the camera, he shut off the phone and placed it back on the table, Wesley's hand slapped over his mouth as he cringed intensely by the word “cock” but then soon becoming more embarrassed that his dad knows he watches….well, that. “Im gonna use the bathroom” wesley said, not looking at his dad as his cheeks shot red. “Erm….im gonna set a 15 minute timer” “DAD” wes said storming off to the bathroom. “Im gonna die” wesley muttered to himself, cursing at the lord for letting this happen as he also begged for forgiveness and asking for this not to be a big problem, just on his knees infront of the toilet, apron still dirty as he shut his eyes tight. 

“God i swear if my dad leaves me alone i’ll pray EVERY night, i’ll sing- look i’ll sing this church song”

By the way, he only heard it from some where.

“Take me to the kinggg, i dont have much to bring” he didnt know anything past that so it didnt do anything in his favour, it only made tom furrow his eyebrows from the other side of the door before knocking making wes silently flinch at the holy ghost “just please- dont do this” he whispered. “I-i can hear you son” tom awkwardly smiled, “mind coming out now?” “ive only been in here for like 5 minutes” “can we just talk about it?” “i dont know if id be comfortable with that-” “or else it will be with me and your mom” “oh my god” wes stood up and did a “woo-sah” looking at himself in the mirror before turning around and hesitantly opening the door. Tom smiled and did an awkward wave “to the couch please”

“Dad i really dont wanna talk about this” wes said on the couch, touching knees with his father that was sitting right next to him. “No we have to- so be quiet and let me speak.” tom sent a look at wes making him grumble and hunch in his seat, but all ears. “Please dont watch porn, its terrible. Its addictive and its not how things work, trust me. When we made you it was pretty ugly in there-”

“DAD PLEASE” he groaned in his arms. “What! Im just letting you know! Im letting you know that when you- or you probably have but-” tom shrugged looking at him son. “Just make sure you use protection, uhm if you want me to buy you some i can- dont give me that look” “your literally talking to me about what goes around penises, what am i supposed to do, say i love you?” he groaned again. “Well its your fault! But anyway you need to make sure you get consent from her, make sure she- or HE is into it-” “oh my god” “what? I dont know your options?” “what are yours?” wes asked.

Tom smiled at his son, making wes’s mouth drop (i dont think its a secret that toms at least a LITTLE fruity) “anyways. Girls have three holes, ones for the pee and the others for the- pp. And the other one is for the other one. I dont think your ready for anal yet” tom gripped his sons knee. “Youve done-” “you ARENT ready for that talk” tom but him off. “But you need to make sure that the woman is lubricated enough because if she isnt it will be TOO tight and un-pleasurable for the both of you. If shes” he raised his fingers doing the quote on quote “loose, that means shes lubricated, dont listen to these assholes shaming girls for something they cannot control” he rolled his eyes, wes thinking about anything to drift off into space but very stuck. “Dont be nervous asking for help trying to find the hole, although it should be located right on top of her- ya know” tom too immature to say the word, something he cant say although he said only a few words ago. “But yes, make sure you wrap it! Im serious, i dont need more children” tom ordered. “Im the single child” “your also annoying” wes sarcastically smiled at his dad by his words. “Her clitoris is that- bean, yeah lets call it a bean” “you call a clitoris a bean?” “oh no, i give it a name more...boujee, but thats between me and your mom” “PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME THAT YOU AND MOM HAVE SEX” wes shouted while stuffing his head into a pillow. “What its normal! You were watching it!” wes grunted “my life is over” “oh it hasnt even began” “DAD” “im just sayin!-”

The boys heard the keys jiggle from the door before hearing a loud “hii!” “we are in the living room babe!” tom said, wes panicking more as he heard th door shut and lock before seeing his mom coming over. “What are you guys talking about?” tom looked at wes and wes silently pleaded for him not to say anything, but being the div he is “sex talk!” he threw his hands up. “Ohh! How fun, have you told him about the movements yet?” “PLEASE NO-”

[sxfik]

I have an idea!

Ok so we all know that Hanseo is abused by his big brother, and if i remember correctly, the jipuragi trio found out about it from the guillotine file for the first time.

Now hear me out, what if the jipuragi trio found out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, not from the guillotine file??

After failing to burn down geumga plaza, Hanseok threw that object at Hanseo, telling him not to dodge it, and it left a scar on his forehead. When Hanseo visited jipuragi, he seemed proud of that scar, right?? Because thats what he got from saving geumga plaza, and he hoped that the scar would show them that he wants to be on their side.

BUT lets forget about all those stuff for a moment.

Hanseok loves to strangle, threaten, and hit Hanseo with the hockey stick. It certainly happens more than once, so i figured that there must be a bunch of scars and bruises on his body right?? What if the jipuragi trio noticed one of his scars/bruises?? I know Hanseo always wear long-sleeved stuff, so its not exactly visible, but what if someone caught a glimpse of it??? Perhaps the scar/bruise was on his arm???

Maybe when Hanseo visits jipuragi, Vincenzo asks him to wash some coffee mugs, and as Hanseo is rolling up his sleeves...

"yo whats that on your arm??"

And maybe Hanseo is like "thats a bruise..? Do you not know what a bruise is??"

Okay, idk. I have no idea how he's gonna react if that happens. I just feel like Hanseo wouldnt be proud of his scars if he didnt get them from trying to save geumga/jipuragi people.

And now im just wondering, what do you think? How would Hanseo react, in your opinion? If the jipuragi trio really did find out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, how would that affect their relationship? Im really curious about what you think

Hhhhhhhh sorry if its too long. I just thought that this might be a good way for Hanseo and jipuragi to kinda get closer with each other...

han seo headcanons (part one)

helloooo, thank you for sending an ask in :D

SORRY this answer is super long and for some reason my phone isn't allowing me to add a keep reading cut thingy, apologies in advance to the amount scrolling you have to do

tw: abuse

i've been thinking so much about this ask and just how han-seo would react to them finding out, and honestly i never really took note of how many long sleeved shirts he wears. i believe han-seok has switched a lot more into emotional manipulation and abuse than physical abuse but he has a lot of anger issues. i'd honestly imagine him using han seo as a punching bag for any and every inconvinence that happens to him, even as an intern.

i also agree with you, han seo is someone who is a very bright personality who tends to hide his hurt and emotions, and he's very very good at it as he has been living under a psychopath his whole life. he's good at hiding his anger (although it definetly bubbles over in smaller outbursts) and especially his hurt (i.e. the scene that han seok throws that candle holder at him and he just smiles back). han seo has a lot of anger at himself for not speaking back or being able to act like himself. like in that scene in the office, you can tell as he curls his fist that he wanted to speak back so badly. even when he finally snaps against han seok, he said "i'm getting tired of being afraid of you." i feel like he'd be embarrassed that even after years, he hasn't been able to escape his abuse

next>

(you can also read the following on ao3)

i feel like this scene and their dynamic would play out something similar to this:

han seo joined the team and has been working with vincenzo and cha-young for around a month. at this point han seo isn't walking on eggshells with both of them, he's a lot more comfortable and visiting their office regularly without choi/han/han seok finding out.

sometimes it's vincenzo and cha-young providing him books to study economics from, maybe even giving some brotherly/sisterly advice to him. every couple weeks, vin and cha-young give him quizzes and slowly, he's getting better and better

over time, he even got closer to the plaza residents (even though the residents were definetly cold to him in the beginning, miri scaring the shit out of him by doing her ghost thing, the lady with the lipstick from bye bye balloon staring him down, snack bar lady refusing to serve him, larry also scaring the shit out of him by doing his zombie routine)

but despite this, they adopt him into their family, han seo doing small errands for the residents, him buying the best coffee, food and getting camera equipment for the snack bar lady's son. han seo gifting the pawnshop couple with cute baby items etc.

(obviously he buys the most expensive shit bc he's still a rich boy, but they dont have to know)

(side note: he'd be fucking adorable with a baby, imagine him being the babies "uncle han seo" who gets them the best gifts !!)

even though he was comfortable with all of them, every once in a while his facade would slip.

every once in a while, someone would make a sharp movement towards him and he'd flinch. or if someone makes a quick step towards him, he'd back up and stiffen up on instinct

even if it was someone patting his back or just making a quick movement, he'd react on instinct from the years of abuse from han seok. but no one ever said anything about it if they noticed.

one afternoon after lunch, they were washing dishes, han seo on washing duty and cha-young drying and placing them back. and han seo was in his full sleeves and cha-young notices his sleeves getting wet

"yah, roll your sleeves back, by the end of this your whole sleeve will be wet! you know how uncomfortable those sleeves would be?"

"ahaha, it's alright noona, i'll be fine"

han seo tries to laugh it off, grining at her with one of his wide grins but there's something off about this one. but cha-young gives one of her patented glares and he rolls them up carefully, shielding his arms from her view, and continues washing the rest.

cha-young doesn't take note of his bruises at first, but noted the care he went through to shield his arms from her. his arms were posed almost awkwardly and he was on high alert

it wasn't until after they both finished and he was drying his hands that cha-young saw the massive bruises he had, climbing up his forearms and under the sleeves

he stiffens when he sees her stare, and quickly tries to cover them but she grabs them before he could hide it

she's completely quiet while she stares at his arms. after a moment, he speaks up

"oh i accidentally banged these against my doorway, they're just small bruises. it's go away in a couple days" he smiles at her again but she could tell from the way his shoulders were frozen and the wavering of his voice that it wasn't the truth

"did he do these?" she asked him, her face completely neutral and her voice barely a whisper. she's still looking at his forearms, her fingers ghosting over the bruises.

han seo just looks down and the silence is enough of an answer for cha-young. he walks away, embarrassed that she found out about it, even though his years of therapy told him that it wasn't never his fault, he still felt the shame and anger of not being able to break free.

he's quiet for the rest of the time, feigning tiredness and finding an excuse to leave the plaza

that night, it was just vincenzo and her working at the office late, in preparation for babel. cha-young's mind was still on what she saw that afternoon. abruptly, she stands up, her hand gripping the pen in her hand as she turned to vincenzo sitting at the other desk.

"did you know that bastard hurt him? he's been abusing han seo this whole time?" she asked vincenzo, her voice seething with anger

"i know."

"you know??? why didn't you ever say anything?"

vincenzo looks up at her from his stack of papers, setting his pen down.

"it wasn't my place. i picked up on it when he flinched when mr. tak reached toward him to place a hand on his shoulder."

cha-young sat back down then, her lips pressed together, and vin went back to his paperwork

"we should get him out of there. who knows what han seok would do in one of his rages?"

"couple nights ago, we went to drink makgeolli and i offered him a way out. i told him if he ever needs to leave, and if he's ready to leave, he has a place at the plaza."

"and is he? leaving that is?"

"no. he thanked me, but said that he needed to stay until his brother and his group crumbles to the ground."

cha-young let out a sigh, biting her lip, the worry on her face all too evident

"hong cha-young byeonosa-nim, we shouldn't baby him. jang han seo deserves revenge against his brother just like we do and the choice is ultimately up to him."

"i know. i just worry."

they stayed quiet for the rest of the night, working late but the topic never leaves cha-young or vincenzo's minds

the next day, han seo avoided her like the plague, not wanting to talk about what she saw yesterday

but while he was studying, she approached him, a glass of juice and a snack in hand, setting it next to him. she checked over his work quietly as he took a break and glanced at his arms, doing a once over just to make sure he didn't get any new ones.

"well done, han seo, you're doing well" she smiled at him and ruffled his hair and han seo let out a breath of relief and gratefulness that she hadn't treated him any different

from then, cha-young and vin only got fonder of han seo and han seo was pretty much adopted by them. after the battle and han seok is in jail permanently, he moves out of his apartment, and gets one closer to the plaza.

mr. nam would show him how the organization worked at jipuragi and put him to work, the paralegal grateful to have an extra hand around the office

eventually, even han seo grows an affection to the instant coffee and buys more for himself and his apartment

vin would take him shopping for suits, both rich boys obsessed with their sleek looks. they take cha-young with them once but she manages to sleep off at every shop they go to.

vincenzo also plays hockey with him regularly and the plaza invites him to plaza game nights. they get up to all kinds of mischief,

han seo loves spicy food, just like cha-young so they make it their mission to go to try every restaurant and compete to see just how much spice they can handle. obviously vincenzo doesn't even make it past the first round of the spice competitions but cha-young and han seo have the same competitive streak that keeps them going

han seo is also dropping hints to both of cha-young and vincenzo that they should get married. constantly teasing vincenzo about cha-young in the way only younger brothers do

obviously on one of cha-young and han seo’s days out, han seo drops hints CONSTANTLY, trying to get her to admit cha young likes vincenzo

and OBVIOUSLY she slips up, and han seo doesn’t let go of it

he does the whole younger brother teasing every single time he catches cha-young glancing at vincenzo at the firm

“cha-young noona and vin hyung, sitting in a tree. K I S S I N—” “HAN SEO!!!”

obviously chayenzo eventually get together but decide to keep it a secret (and of course, they were awful at it)

eventually when they reveal it to the office, mr. nam and han seo react like that one scene in suspicious partner (“quick, act surprised” “*gasp* you guys are together??????? we had no idea!!”)

han seo is basically adopted as a younger brother to both cha-young and vincenzo and even the plaza loves his presence and he gets to have a peaceful existence for the rest of his life

anyways han seo deserves a happy ending with a good family. he deserves a second chance with a family that LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM AND GIVES HIM CHOICES AND ALLOWS HIM TO BE HIMSELF. (and yes this covered more than just one scene but I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON HIM) as always feel free to add on :D

[tastyykpop]

Can you make a smut + angst jealousy fic for Ten or Jeno please~ thankiee

I hope this was okay. I made it a best friend au if u don't mind🙈

ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴀʟ ᴅɪsᴀsᴛᴇʀs

Pairings: bestfriend!ten x reader

Genre: smut, angst

Warnings: jealousy, slight d/s themes, slight choking, marking, possessiveness, unprotected sex, creampie, rough ish sex

"What are you doing here?" Ten asks walking into the living room where you sat watching tv. "Thought you had a date with that guy?"

"I did, but he called it off again." You mumbled.

"Again? Isn't this like the hundreth time? What a joke." He plops down on the couch next to you.

You side eye him, ready to question the attitude but chose to close your mouth instead.

Shrugging with a sigh, you bite your lip, "Its nothing. Hes probably busy." You knew that wasn't the case. The two of you were all over the place, it was either you guys flirted and went on dates like couples or he ditched you to do something with his friends and side chicks.

You were basically his fling that somehow dragged on for months. And ten couldnt stand it. Seeing you get beaten down and crushed like an egg made his heart sink. But to be honest, it wasn't like he minded the extra attention. Once you and that guy started talking, you were dragged out of his life and hardly talked to him unless it were times like this or when you bragged about the dude, and if he was lucky, a sleepover that came once in a blue moon. Ten probably shouldn't have felt this way, but he couldn't help his jealousy. He wanted what the guy had. He wanted you.

"Give the bastard up already." Ten says, "All he does is break your heart like its his favorite hobby. Then he has the fucking audacity to get back with you like nothing happened. Open your eyes, y/n, he's not good for you."

You grimaced, looking up at his uncharacteristically fuming face, "You don't know him like I do. He's good to me."

"Oh cut the shit. Stop being so naive."

Glowering at the man, you shake your head, "Im not naive and its not my fault you don't like him."

Ten sighed, "Jeez you can be a bitch sometimes."

"Excuse me!?" Your brows furrow, "Ten, stop acting like a dick. Why can't you support me and my decisions? You always find something to complain about with your overprotective ass."

"He treats you like shit, thats literally all he does and I have to sit here and deal with it." Ten growls.

"Then leave i don't fucking care."

Ten snorts, "Youre kidding. You're gonna push me out of your life just because I'm calling someone out. Well I got a newsflash for you babe, thats not how life works."

"As if youre any better." You mumble, thinking ten couldnt hear you. But you were very wrong.

"I dont have to do a thing to be better than that motherfucker." Ten glares before leaning closer to your face, "I could treat you better than he ever did. Like a fucking goddess, but no, you chose him."

"Youre so fucking annoying, ten." Your eyes met your best friends. This was probably the biggest mistake you've made. So many years you never bothered to say anything about your small crush on ten, afraid it may ruin the friendship between you two. But knowing its mutual, you could practically hear your heart crack. Those wasted months could've been months spent with ten, but they weren't.

Ten stared back into your hurt eyes with no expression except frustration, "Good i can keep going. I could write a whole essay on this loser."

"Ten, shut the fuck up! I'm tired of your fucking voice!"

Immediately ten stops talking. Though hes still frowning like an angered child who didn't get their way.

"God, you can be so frustrating at times." You say.

"Frustrating?? Whats frustrating is you being him and not with me." Ten says, breaking his short silence as his face was still inches away from yours.

Your back is just about touching the arm of the couch, tens breath fanning your face softly making your face heat up ever so slightly.

"Seeing him kiss you, hold you-makes my blood boil more than you think." Finally your body was pinned to the couch, ten just barely hovering over your lips, "Im going to make sure he knows who you belong to after tonight."

You yelped as you best friend clashed his lips into yours, much rougher and desperate than you thought he'd be. His hand snaked up your thigh, grabbing and kneading at the skin before he moved it to your hip, loving the small sighs against his lips.

"Youre so desperate," ten mumbles. He swipes his tongue just over your lips as you find yourself chasing his lips, staring at the string of saliva attached. "I finally get to have my desperate little baby." Your pants were off in a matter of seconds along with your panties. Tens fingers already taking in your soaked cunt as he lifted his two fingers up in front of your face, smirking down at you. "Already dripping too. Can't believe you thought about going out with him when you have me."

"Never knew you could be so jealous." You tore your gaze off his arousal coated fingers. "But I'd wish your shut up about it."

Ten sucks his fingers clean before leaning down to bite your neck, earning a gasp as you tilt your head to the side for him. "Dont push it."

"Can't help it." Sighing at the feeling of his teeth sinking in and the small hickeys he's giving you, you reach up to tangle your fingers through his hair, "Youre mad and jealous just because of some guy."

"Not just some guy, babe. A fucking douche." He lapped over the bruises he created on your neck. The purple and blue color was a work of his own art and he wasn't afraid to show it off to anyone and everyone.

"He was nice."

He arched a brow, "Dont lie."

Soon enough, both of your clothings were discarded. Nothing could turn back whatever was going to happen now, and surely not ten who had his hand wrapped firmly around your neck, squeezing the sides tightly but still enough for you to breathe. And as crazy as it may seem, he loved seeing you gasp and wrap your small hands around his wrists.

You moaned at the sudden fullness at your core, the stretch making your back arched a bit off the couch as you pushed your hips into his. A hand carefully placing itself on your hips, but not bothering to push it down or keep it in place.

Ten wasn't going to waste time, he was already thrusting into you at a reasonable set pace where you both moaned, you being louder than he thought.

"You like it?" Ten chuckles to himself, "Of course you do because I know how to fuck you good." He sent a particularly hard thrust just to hear you scream in pleasure. Your nails clawing at his back causing ten to hiss, throwing his head back.

"Youre the worst." You call out, digging your nails further into his back, sure there will be cuts the next day.

He choked you harder, eyes rolling back from the adrenaline rush, "But you love this cock so much, love how I call you mine and not his. Fuck, I should just fill you up over and over again with my cum." You moan at his words, ignoring that stupid grin on his face, "Want me to fill your pretty pussy up, kitten?" Nodding frantically, you gripped his wrist with both of your hands, feeling your orgasm coming closer with each thrust.

"Feels s-so good." The couch screeched against the wood floor as ten pounded into you with no mercy. Each vein of his cock made your walls tighten around him as you got near. " 'm gonna cum."

As if he couldn't move faster, ten surprised you when your body banged against the armrest, desperate for you to cum around him. "Cum, baby. I wanna feel your cum."

You didn't need to be told twice. Everything came rushing out of you an instant, body shaking as ten continued with stuttering thrusts before he finally released inside you, mixing your cum together as he slowly fucked it back inside you, finally pulling out.

"Stay away from him for God's sake." he placed a chaste kiss to your lips. "Or dont, I wouldn't mind him seeing the mess I made."

[anotherhellchild]

📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life

oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.

also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.

This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk. 

ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer. 

also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth. 

and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.

oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.

But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.

Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?

but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview. 

Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.

he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.

generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop. 

so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.

It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.

Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it

But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)