jellyseungmo

[jellyseungmo]

memories

a Bang Chan story (it's so sad I'm sorry)

"I don't see what I saw in you a year ago, Y/n."

Those words. That hurt. I didn't know that one full sentence could crush every single feeling in my body and make me weak in the knees. He didn't love me anymore and I had to deal with the emotional scars it would leave me later on.

"all I see is something I thought I needed." I said to him with tears welding in my eyes.

"and you never cared." i started to get the build up of anger in my my throat, clogging up my emotions.

"you couldn't have ever cared less about how I felt, or the memories we made together, how much time and thought I'd wasted in our relationship!" i threw my hands up

"and god fucking forbid me make a mistake." i laughed

"god fucking forbid."

"y/n calm yourself" Chan sighed

"no, fuck you, Chris. Seriously, are you kidding me?" I rolled my eyes and stood up, this made Chris angry. I could tell

"y/n, you're scared of losing me." he sighed

"no I'm no-"

"you're scared of losing me, y/n. and I'm sick of having someone be over obsessive over everything I do or say or the way I type, i can't have one day." his voice was louder, the tone was quite frightening since I'd never heard that side of Chris.

"go live your life where everything revolves around you, Y/n. Go be fucking delusional in your own house."

I realized at that moment he really didn't care whether I stayed or walked out the door and never spoke to him again. He wasn't focused on me, he wasn't focused on love. He was focused on his mind, on his way of living, and I needed to respect that. I realized how wrong I was for ever yelling at him and making him feel bad for my way of worrying.

"Chris, I'll go." my voice broke into pieces as I continued

"but I want to leave knowing I told you I cared so much about you." i nodded

"and I want you to leave here knowing that you knew I was willing to love you so hard it made you love yourself." he said, and then continued

"but nothing can ever help you love yourself.." he shook his head

"you're a broken broken human being, and you can't put someone back together like an object." he sat down

"i don't blame you for the way you are, y/n."

I just stood there, silent. wondering when he would finally unlock the door and throw me out.

"you're the kindest human being I know, and i remember when you told me how much that meant to you, to be kind. That was your only goal." he smiled to himself, which broke my heart into two

"I'm not kind" i shook my head

"i need help" i nodded, "and you're definitely not the person that can help me"

he nodded and kissed my forehead

"if you need anything, just call or show up at the door"

As I walked out the door, as sad and broken as I was, I felt almost relieved. I felt like I could live now, I felt like all the weights of the world were off of my shoulders and I didn't really know why. Chris was an amazing man, i just don't think our relationship was good for neither of us mentally. I forgot his face, his voice, his hair, the way he smelled, i forgot the directions to his house, i forgot the color of his car, but I'll never forget the memories we made, the memories we shared and thought we could share as we grew old together. While he faded away, our memories remained like a box in a safe place in the back of my mind.

[jellyseungmo]

one last time.

Lee Felix drabble.

fluff...angst, plot twist(?)

warnings: mentions of caskets, and death.

The way they looked at each other secretly across the room. The smile and light red tint on his ears, running down his neck. The bright pink shade of flusterness on their cheeks.

The way they reminded everybody of expensive perfumes and love letters with a pretty wax seal and perfectly written calligraphy. The way they both agreed that winter was indeed the best season, even if the cold made them sick.

"are you cold?" Felix asked y/n as they walked a bit behind their group of friends.

"not really" They shook their head. That was a lie. It was 40 degrees and all they had was sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt on. Felix wasn't dumb, he could see how they shivered.

"Y/n you dont have to fib" He laughed, taking off his coat.

"I know you were too forgetful to bring one, so borrow mine. I reckon it won't be too small"

"thanks, felix" Y/n swaddled themself in the boys coat, looking around to think of something to say.

"but!" Y/n exclaimed, making Felix sigh and roll his eyes, knowing what was about to come.

"arent you cold?" they continued.

"well yeah, but it's okay as long as you're happy" He shrugged, making a ':]' type of face.

"I suppose I'm always happy around you"

"I can tell...it's pretty great." Felix nods

"what, does it feed your ego?" Y/n crossed their arms.

"no, it just gives me hope."

'Hope? What exactly was hope?' That's what we were all thinking. We knew from that point on, for a fact, that they weren't just friends. They were endlessly in love, and quite frankly may have been soulmates.

"you look so cold" Felix cried over the casket of y/n's dead body, hoping that maybe they would wake up, and take his coat for the last time.

One last time, he hoped that something would grab y/n and shake them until they woke up and cried in his arms.

One last time, he wanted to smell their rich melon scent, look into the eyes of his well believed soulmate.

He hoped that one last time, he could wake up to missed calls and texts from y/n when they couldnt sleep.

One last time, Felix wished he would have just picked up the phone after that damn argument.

One last time he could save y/n's life, but no. There they were, breathless and cold, without his jacket just like the day he realized...

...he loved them.

[jellyseungmo]

memories

a Bang Chan story (it's so sad I'm sorry)

"I don't see what I saw in you a year ago, Y/n."

Those words. That hurt. I didn't know that one full sentence could crush every single feeling in my body and make me weak in the knees. He didn't love me anymore and I had to deal with the emotional scars it would leave me later on.

"all I see is something I thought I needed." I said to him with tears welding in my eyes.

"and you never cared." i started to get the build up of anger in my my throat, clogging up my emotions.

"you couldn't have ever cared less about how I felt, or the memories we made together, how much time and thought I'd wasted in our relationship!" i threw my hands up

"and god fucking forbid me make a mistake." i laughed

"god fucking forbid."

"y/n calm yourself" Chan sighed

"no, fuck you, Chris. Seriously, are you kidding me?" I rolled my eyes and stood up, this made Chris angry. I could tell

"y/n, you're scared of losing me." he sighed

"no I'm no-"

"you're scared of losing me, y/n. and I'm sick of having someone be over obsessive over everything I do or say or the way I type, i can't have one day." his voice was louder, the tone was quite frightening since I'd never heard that side of Chris.

"go live your life where everything revolves around you, Y/n. Go be fucking delusional in your own house."

I realized at that moment he really didn't care whether I stayed or walked out the door and never spoke to him again. He wasn't focused on me, he wasn't focused on love. He was focused on his mind, on his way of living, and I needed to respect that. I realized how wrong I was for ever yelling at him and making him feel bad for my way of worrying.

"Chris, I'll go." my voice broke into pieces as I continued

"but I want to leave knowing I told you I cared so much about you." i nodded

"and I want you to leave here knowing that you knew I was willing to love you so hard it made you love yourself." he said, and then continued

"but nothing can ever help you love yourself.." he shook his head

"you're a broken broken human being, and you can't put someone back together like an object." he sat down

"i don't blame you for the way you are, y/n."

I just stood there, silent. wondering when he would finally unlock the door and throw me out.

"you're the kindest human being I know, and i remember when you told me how much that meant to you, to be kind. That was your only goal." he smiled to himself, which broke my heart into two

"I'm not kind" i shook my head

"i need help" i nodded, "and you're definitely not the person that can help me"

he nodded and kissed my forehead

"if you need anything, just call or show up at the door"

As I walked out the door, as sad and broken as I was, I felt almost relieved. I felt like I could live now, I felt like all the weights of the world were off of my shoulders and I didn't really know why. Chris was an amazing man, i just don't think our relationship was good for neither of us mentally. I forgot his face, his voice, his hair, the way he smelled, i forgot the directions to his house, i forgot the color of his car, but I'll never forget the memories we made, the memories we shared and thought we could share as we grew old together. While he faded away, our memories remained like a box in a safe place in the back of my mind.

[jellyseungmo]

Taken for granted.

I had never longed for a man's touch. I had never cried like a baby over a man. It wasn't like me to fall in love this deep, although I was a hopeless romantic. I loved the romance novels and the thought of being held under the stars, but for some reason I never wanted it for myself. Christopher changed that. I didn't know why, i didn't know how he did it. I didn't know why everytime I closed my eyes, I saw his bright smile and beautiful brown eyes. He was like my compass. He showed me and lead me through the right paths, he molded me into the person I could have been if I actually loved me.

"i wish I could hate you" i whispered to him as we would lie in the bed of his truck under the star lit sky that looked like glitter, almost perfectly aligned.

"i wish I could love you" he sighed, and continued

"it feels like an obligation...i feel obligated to love you"

"you don't need to feel obligated, I could leave you alone" i shrugged

"but I like having you around..." he sighed

"it's so confusing, i don't know what I want...i don't know if I want anything."

"i wish I could help you love me" i leaned up on my elbows

"i don't love anybody, y/n" he shook his head

"it's not easy to love somebody when you can't even love yourself." he said

"i know, and its hard to love an insecure girl like me" i tilted my head

"two wrongs don't make a right, y/n. i can't change, i can't help you change." he rubbed his temples as if he was getting frustrated.

"don't get mad " i furrowed my eyebrows

"I'm not...." his voice was louder, but he paused with a sigh, and the continued with a calmer tone "mad at you."

"i just want you to understand that I can't be the one you love" he pointed up at the stars

"look up for me" he said as I looked up

"choose a star" he instructed

"ummm" I looked around at the sky and then pointed to a larger star "that one"

"you chose it because it's bigger?" he tilted his head

"it caught my eye" I nodded

"that star is just like you. the brightest, yet the farthest away" he said as he looked into my eyes

"let go of me, stop distancing yourself for me." he said sternly.

I nodded, tears forming in my eyes as I tried to come up with the words to respond with.

"it's difficult" i whispered

"but it's possible" he wiped my tears and kissed my forehead

"if it was meant to me, we'll come back to each other" I smiled brokenly and kissed the top of his hand, wrapping my arms around his neck for a second

"do you want me to take you home?" he rubbed my back

i shook my head and sighed

"i don't think I need that, I'll find a way home" I nodded

"im not leaving until you do"

"just go, really it's fine" i sent my mother a text to pick me up, and looked up at Chris.

This wasn't the first nor last goodbye in my lifetime, and it never got easier. After that, i only saw Chris in the hallways, in second period, and in lunch sometimes. He was a basketball player, so it wasn't hard to miss him, he was honestly one of the best players on the team. After that, i became a cheerleader, i played volleyball, I made friends, but I never found the love that I searched for when I was in the presence of Chris. I wish I could love him again. But that love was taken for granted.

[jellyseungmo]

i need to write like this again

Lipstick on the glass

a hyunjin ff.

Angst, fluff

warnings: cursing, kissing, mentions of drug alchohol consumption, Sexual comments are made. mention of murder and violence. Bad boy??? cold hearted Hyunjin. Y/n is blunt. not edited. poor grammar. Tell me if I missed something!

wc: 1.7k

Note: Hi! I haven't written anything in like a really long time, so I thought i might as well while i had the inspiration. This isn't the greatest but I enjoyed creating it!

inspired by...

"I really don't wanna be here, Maude." Y/n said bluntly with their arms crossed, looking at their best friend since Freshman year.

"Y/n, please for god's sake, have fun." Maude rolled her eyes as she sipped on the overly alcoholic beverage in her hand. The glass had sweat all over from the cold drink.

"This is fun to you? Getting drunk and taking hard drugs just to get Male validation from man whores that arent going to know you tomorrow? that's fun?" Y/n tilted her head and smiled sarcastically, her voice a bit high pitched.

The two of them were at a old broken down trailer, sketchy I know. Maude always brought y/n to these places and called it 'a fun experience'

Y/n never dressed up, so they just had their casual band tee and ripped jeans on.

"saying getting drunk and taking hard drugs would have been enough." Y/n's brunette friend sat on the steps outside.

""you know, y/n. Ever since our senior year, you just haven't been who you were..." Maude sighs.

"because I grew up?" Y/n stated in a questioning tone.

"we are 21 years old. 21! I'm trying to have a future and a fucking home and-"

"maybe a husband and kids?" Maude cuts Y/n off.

"never gonna happen." Y/n sits down beside their friend.

"Come on! you know Hyunjin isn't the only person you're ever gonna meet."

"Who said I cared about Hyunjin?" Y/n side eyed Maude and took a sip of water.

"Your actions. Your commitment issues..."

"And me." The two that were sitting down heard a very familiar voice, it sent shivers down Y/n's spine, and made them look up.

"Hi girls!" He waved with a cheeky smile, looking down at them.

"Maude, Y/n..." He continued

"and I thought you would have changed." Y/n sighs

"Well this is my cue to leave...I...the refrigerator stopped running..." Maude points to the front door and gets up.

"maybe I can catch it now!! Tootles!" Maude smiled widely.

Hyunjin sighed and sat down beside y/n, making them scoot further away.

"I never said I would change." He laughs

"and i didnt say it was a bad thing"

Change. That's what y/n thought about after Hyunjin kissed then for the last time, or so they thought it was the last time. They never knew that after 4 years, their high school sweetheart would be in the same place as them again. As sketchy as the place was, it was kind of a blessing that Maude brought them here.

"Do you wanna go on a drive?" Hyunjin grinned

"after you left me for four years with no last words...you don't owe me an explanation, but I would at least like to know if it was something I did." Y/n played with their fingers, looking at the red solo cup filled half full with water in their hand.

"I just...needed time, you were graduating and I was failing and...and i felt embarrassed and i felt like you were embarrassed of me.."

"woah woah woah, Hyunjin. Stop for a second- what the fuck?" Y/n shook their head in disbelief.

"So i didn't do anything but-"

"but I wanted you to keep a good reputation and I didnt want to hold you back." Hyunjin cut off their sentence.

"well I think we would both be better off if we would have stayed together..." Y/n's voice cracked, thinking about all of the things that could have changed if they would have just stayed together.

"We wouldn't be here...we would be in a home, probably, I could have went to college and been a psychologist, and you could have been an artist like you always wanted..." Y/n started to tear up as Hyunjin stayed silent. He watched, and observed, he wasn't the type to be great with his own feelings, let alone other people's, especially the person that he used to call his.

"Y/n I'm sorry...and I could say it over and over again but that won't ever be enough, you know?" Hyunjin tried to be genuine.

"I...I'm not like the best at apologizing or being sentimental...but I do still care...about you." He nodded as Y/n looked up.

"Hyunjin."

"hm?'

"shut up and take me to your car."

Hyunjin's car still smelled the same, musky, almost like trees? But somewhat fruity? It's so hard to explain, it's a smell like no other. He still liked the same music, had the same air fresheners, same busted back passenger seat window.

"You never got it fixed?" Y/n tilted their head.

"nope, you're the one that hurdled a golf ball at it."

"hey! we were drunk!!" Y/n laughed, hitting hyunjin's shoulder.

"WE?? no honey, YOU. YOU were drunk" He laughed as well, pulling out of the driveway of the trailer.

Y/n paused for a second and leaned into Hyunjin.

"Tipsy..." They wiggled their eyebrows.

Hyunjin just shook his head and sighed.

"I missed you." He said quietly.

"did you?"

"of course, I was just too much of a fucking coward to call you."

"scared I was gonna yell?" Y/n smiled softly

"that...and I just didnt hear your voice while you cried."

"I never cried over you." Y/n shook her head

"you damn liar! Maude sent me PARAGRAPHS of threats and just 'y/n is a fucking mess without you, I'm gonna kill you blahblah bullshit."

"of course she did" Y/n rolled their eyes.

Hyunjin stopped at an empty park.

"wanna walk around?"

"we can" Y/n shrugged, getting out of the car.

"It feels really nice out here tonight" Hyunjin sighed and looked around, his black hair blew back a bit as the wind started to pick up.

"Yeah, the wind is a bit unbearable but it is really nice"

Hyunjin chuckled and nodded at y/ns statement in agreement.

"we can go to my place then" Hyunjin suggested

"okay but...dont get any ideas. I dont want anything like that right now.."

"Jeez, y/n what a way to crush a man's dreams." He sighed as Y/n rolled their eyes, looking around

"I'm joking" He laughed a bit.

"let's just go."

Y/n rolled down the window, and placed their head out it, observing the way to their past lovers apartment. The way they would go every single day for 4 years, and completely avoided for 3. The wind ripped through their hair, the feeling of euphoria and freedom was washing over y/n. They wanted this moment to last forever. Hyunjin was amused. The person that he loved for the longest time, he finally had them back. He finally had them by his side again. In his car, staring at the city lights. The sounds of car horns and the mixed smells of food from restaurants was filling the air. They both listened to Hyunjin's playlist filled with Fleetwood mac and Paul Anka, with a pinch of Frank Sinatra, Hyunjin's hand on Y/n's thigh to stay safe and make sure they didnt fall out of the window or anything.

"we're close to my place." Hyunjin said, tapping Y/ns thigh as Sisters of the Moon by Fleetwood Mac played, half way finished.

Hyunjin parked on the side of the road, both of them getting out. Y/n looked up and around and up again, a small smile on their face.

"still old and nasty, I know." Hyunjin sighed

"not at all, I've always loved it here." They reassure Hyunjin. It was true, Y/n loved Hyunjin's old beat up apartment, in a building right in the center of a violence ridden neighborhood.

The stairs up to his apartment were creaky and the walls were tatted up in graphite. It wasn't bad at all though, there were no murderers or awful crooks. The owner of the building was a super sweet old man that Y/n had gotten to know over the years.

"Y/n??" They heard a voice behind them, Y/n smiled widely and turned around.

"Nikolas!" They ran up to him and gave him a tight hug.

"I see you took this asshole back" He joked around

"no actually, we're just catching up.." Y/n looked up at Hyunjin, he nodded at her and grinned.

"mmmm if I get a noise complaint-"

"ya! there will be none of that" Hyunjin laughed.

The two walked up the stairs and went inside of Hyunjin's apartment after he unlocked it.

Y/n had noticed a few changes, his couch was different, his TV was a bit bigger. He had an actual stove. He also still had pictures of Y/n, hung exactly were they always were.

"Hyunjin..." Y/n whispered.

"I know...it's creepy.."

"you still love me" They laughed and turned around towards Hyunjin.

"well...absolutely." He grinned.

"and the kiss...it's on your mirror..."

"I told you I'd never wipe it off."

One time, y/n and hyunjin were drunk. Hyunjin did Y/n's make up and they kissed his bedroom mirror. Right in the center.

Y/n didnt know why this was the thing that got them, but it did. It immediately brought tears to their eyes.

"you have no idea how much that means to me, you know..." they sat on Hyunjin's bed, hands over their face.

Hyunjin had finally brought up the courage to hug y/n. The hug wasn't just a hug. It was tighter than anything y/n had ever felt. They hugged for what seemed like hours, but was only about two minutes.

As they pulled away from each other, they got a glance into each others eyes.

"I missed you" Y/n whispered, their arms wrapped around Hyunjin's neck.

"I missed you too...you have no idea" Hyunjin pulled Y/n into a deep deep kiss.

Although they were both sober, the kiss made them both feel a bit tipsy. Drunk on each other. Years of built up need and want for each other was broken. It wasn't harsh, Hyunjin's kisses were always gentle, but it was too much for Y/n to take in, it was overwhelming. This feeling was all taken away as the kiss was broken.

"never fucking leave me again, hyunjin."

"never. I swear"

[jellyseungmo]

stays are so beautiful.

[jellyseungmo]

tw: uses of she/her pronouns. death, and this is poc friendly but the word pale is used to describe the readers normal skin.

reader is heavily based off of Wednesday Addams because I love the new show and it gave me inspiration!

authors note: hey! i haven't written much lately because I'm not very motivated. My works aren't as noticed as I'd like for them to be, although I know that not everybody enjoys these sad drabbles or my way of writing and it does take a while to be a top notch writer with a dedicated audience. I just hope for the best in the future! I have a lot of unfinished stories for a few of the members so hopefully my posts will be more consistent! xx

.

.

.

I hated him. I hated him and his art, and his face, and his voice. I hated how fascinating he was, and how much we had in common. I hated that I loved him, and I hated that he knew it.

He used it against me too.

"you cant hate me forever." He spoke up as he sat beside me at the lunch table outside of the cafeteria, this was where all of the seniors sat.

"yes I can." I said bluntly, my posture was nice but this was only because I felt awkward, my hands were fidgety and I couldn't keep my eyes open.

"well why? If it's because I'm mean to you, I jus-"

"no." I interrupted him, putting my hand on his right shoulder.

"i envy you, hwang hyunjin." I looked him in the eyes and smiled, not a large smile with teeth, just a small grin.

"i observe you, I hear you, I see you all of the time with all of these girls and all of these people that you think are your friends." I continued.

"but they aren't your friends, hwang hyunjin. they are evil and malicious and they all want money or sex." I looked away from him, my eyebrows were scrunched and all I could do was look down at my hands. All he could do was blink. Sit there with a blank face and blink.

"and I know why you're mean to me. you're mean because I'm different. you're mean because the feeling is mutual, you envy me." I stopped.

He glanced over at me, playing with his fingers.

"i wouldn't say that." he shook his head.

"you envy how alone I am. you envy how I don't want to be wanted by nobodies like the people that are your so-called friends."

"well said, y/n. I also envy how smart you are, and how unbothered you are. you don't have to worry about your looks like I do" he finally spoke up

"does that mean I'm ugly?" i taunted him

"no..." he whispered

"you just don't know that you're beautiful, and your beauty is rare. people come up to each other when they see you and they say "who is she?" and they say "I dont know her name but she's pretty." but everybody knows my name, y/n."

"i never knew you could be a serious person, hwang hyunjin." i smiled softly

There was a long pause before he asked out of the blue

"wanna go to the dance with me?"

i shrugged and got up, leaving him alone as he wished for.

before I knew it, we sat beside each other, drinking punch and trying not to touch knees.

I stared straight forward as he stared at me.

"You know, you look pretty."

"i think you say that to all of the girls." i said emotionless.

He sighed and got up, holding his hand out to me

"let's dance...this is a dance after all" he said with emphasis on the word dance.

i looked up at him and grinned, taking his hand.

"why did you ask me to this?" i questioned cluelessly

"well because I know that it's out of your comfort zone." he shrugged.

"fair point, I'm getting eyed like a hawk by all of your girlfriends." i looked around

"just focus on me then." he smiled softly at me held my hand tighter.

"i don't care that you're different, y/n." he said, reflecting on what I had said a few days before.

"i adore your art work and I love how you call me by my full name every time you talk to me." he continued.

"i just like your name" I smiled

"and I like you." he said, smiling as well

I wasn't stupid, but I knew that my heart wasn't beating the way it was supposed to be and the pigment in my face wasn't as pale as it usually is. That night I rejected him, was the night that everything changed. I wish it ended there. I wish He never spoke to me, I never spoke to him, we graduated and boom we're done. That's not life though. When you lose somebody that means something to you far beyond what you thought was possible, it messes with you. The day that Hwang Hyunjin left, was the day that my life was ruined. He ruined my life and left me in pieces with no excuse. If I said yes, he wouldn't be gone. But we all die, don't we?

[jellyseungmo]

Acosmist. yjn

a fluffy sad jeongin drabble.

Acosmist- one who believes that nothing exists.

the rain fell from the dark clouds, darker than any dark i had ever seen. rain so cold on the skin of my arms and exposed skin. The cliff so high up, you couldnt see the bottom of the water under. Thunder as loud as the heart that beated in my chest. Beated for him, beated for jeongin.

He smiled at me for the billionth time today. It was gorgeous. HE was gorgeous, like aphrodite but even better. His beauty was incomparable.

"you enjoying the view, dear?" His voice sounded like some strange Victorian ballad. It was, dare I say, as gorgeous as him.

"of course, everything is enjoyable with you around." I smiled sincerely at the glowing figure of the boy.

"I'm glad I make you feel that way" he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

"you're so beautiful, you know..." He stopped midway to think.

"...like something ethereal...like the clouds." He looked up, squinting so the rain drops wouldn't fall into his eyes.

"soooo...I'm dark and mysterious?" I joked

"you just...make me so happy, like the clouds..so happy that it makes me upset." his knees were against his chest, staring at my beautiful figure.

"how so?"

He sighed and played with my hair

"because I cant imagine a world in which I dont adore you, more than i do myself....I never stop thinking about you, and I've always loved you..." He kissed the skin of my cheek

"but mon ange.." He whispered

"hm?" I stared at his details, his sharp facial features, and the beautiful color of brown that his eyes were. I never really talked around him, I liked to give him every bit of my attention, and every second we had together was his time to shine.

"You know I'm not actually here anymore, right?"

As I looked around to observe that he wasnt there anymore, I realized that i had actually lost him forever. I would never have him, I never had him. he was just a detailed love in my imagination. Like a ghost, exactly like a ghost. But I doubt his ghost is pondering on haunting me, I'm haunted by the thought of him though.

[jellyseungmo]

It was already November. It was yet to turn cold, which was a serious problem but we never paid attention to it. I never paid attention because I was in love. He caught me by surprise, who's "he"? Lee Minho. Lee Minho is a man that opened my eyes and then blinded me completely. He never gave up on me though, he never left, he never got angry, and that's why I didn't care if it snowed, or if the leaves turned colours or if pumpkin spice lattes were in season.

"You know, you could just ask for my hoodie, Y/n" Minho chuckled, shaking his head at me as my whole body shivered and my teeth clinked together.

"Can...I wear your hoodie?" I asked as my face turned red, not from the cold but from embarrassment.

He threw a hoodie at me and made his way to my figure which was sitting on the couch in the living room of our shared apartment.

"So, Y/n.." He sat beside me.

"Yes, Minho?"

"what about college?" He sighed, pausing for a second to give me time to respond.

"I haven't decided yet" I shrugged, not making eye contact with him.

"i was just planning on doing my own thing"

" I've saw people go their own aways and never look back, I don't want that to be you because you're so bad at making decisions, yet you have such a full future ahead of you" He paused

"but Y/n, I know that college isn't really an option for neither of us, I was just seeing if anything has changed" he smiled

"please don't overthink it, my love." He whispered in my ear and kissed my forehead, waiting for me to respond.

"I know, I won't overthink, thank you" I smiled, pecking him on the lips. It was in that exact moment that I had realized how lucky I was. How amazing this man in front of me was. He loved him. So much.

"i want us to get married some day" I smiled widely.

"aish, don't make rash decisions" he rolled his eyes and scoffed jokingly.

"I'm being serious, Minho."

"Give me time, sweetie."

"I'll give you all of the time in the world"

If only I had known how much time I actually had with him.

[jellyseungmo]

Stand by Me.

ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗ ִ ᳝ ࣪ ִ ۫ ˑ֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗ ִ ᳝ ࣪ ִ ۫ ˑ֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫

A Han Jisung X gn!reader toothrotting fluff story.

(I suggest listening while reading, it sets the mood<3)

It was almost as if the night was taken straight out of a romantic novel. Jisung and I walked down the old abandoned train tracks, with no destination in mind. Nobody knew that we had left, and nobody would ever see us again. In the middle of fall, some random day in October, we left. Our footsteps crunched in the leaves as the sun fell onto the other side of the world, making it dark with a few dimmed streetlights and the moon. He grabbed my hand and broke the silence.

"You look beautiful like this" Jisung looked over at me with the biggest look of admiration in his eyes.

"Like what? I tilted my head and looked up at the man who was a bit taller than me, not by much though.

My response seemed to be comedic to him because as I asked, his lips curved up into a smile.

"like you do in my dreams...perfect...more than perfect...flawless...and ethereal and so beautiful..."

He took a pause and shook his head in disbelief.

"I really am the luckiest guy ever.." he muttered, probably to himself but I heard and soon responded.

"That's how I feel about you, you know?" I placed a angel like kiss to his cheek, watching his face light up in a crimson color.

"me and you, baby, it's just me and you now" He made us both stop where we were, which seemed to be a moonlit lake with a few houses around but nobody lived in them.

"I wanna do something" he smiled widely and took out his phone.

"what are you up to, mr. Han Ji?" I shook my head in confusion.

"just stand by me..." He said as the song Stand By Me by Ben E. King started playing on his phone.

"well...infront of me.." he laughed and reached out for my hand.

"you are the cheesiest person I've ever met" I grabbed his hand, and for the rest of the night, we danced. We held each other and never let go. Honestly, I believe that's why I met Han Jisung. So that he could take me away, away from all of the stress of life, and he knew that's what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to stand by me for the rest of eternity. And so he did just that, ever season change, every holiday, and every doubt. He was there.

ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗ ִ ᳝ ࣪ ִ ۫ ˑ֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗ ִ ᳝ ࣪ ִ ۫ ˑ֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝ ࣪֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪ ֗ ִ ࣪ ᳝

[jellyseungmo]

Showing when writing: Emotions [part 1]

Embarrassment

blushing

fidgeting

sweating

hiding their face in their hands

wide eyes

crossing their arms around their body

stutters

stammering

shifting their weight from side to side

exaggerated movements

nervous quirks appear such as picking at their nails, playing with their hair, and rocking on their heels.

avoiding eye contact

glancing or staring at random objects

stiff smiles

scratching the back of their head or neck.

subject changing

forced laughter

Anticipation

big smiles

wetting their lips

energized

constant movement

grinning

can't concentrate

clumsiness

fidgeting

questions

Awe

frozen

wide eyes

slack jaw

harsh or erratic breathing

grinning

staring

Surprise/shock

gasping

open mouth

slack jaw

wide eyes

covering their mouth with their hands

raised eyebrows

frozen

staring

stepping back

stutters or stammers

Triumph

Tilting back head and yelling out

fist pumping in the air

Jumping

Roaring

Whooping

laughter

bright smiles

grinning

Anger/Threatening

Shaking fist

Pointing

crossed arms

glares

frowning

scowling

Stabbing with finger

Slamming fist against something

Veins throbbing

Jutting out their chin

Clenched fist

Clenched jaw

flushed face

Eyebrows lowered or furrowed

squinting

Teeth bared

Wide stance

Tight-lipped smile

Rapid breathing

Sweating

aggressive stance

Flared nostrils

Puffed chest

loud voice

Nervous

lip biting

biting nails

blinking

tears

stepping back

awkward laughter

clumsiness

dry lips

dry mouth

fidgeting

darting eyes

wrapping their arms around themselves

repeatedly folding and unfolding their arms

clutching at themselves, their hip/shoulder/stomach

drawn in/furrowed brows

avoiding eye contact

jittery

pitched voice

no appetite or nervous eating so a bigger appetite

pacing

toying with things

restless

bouncing leg

rubbing at their face

scratching

sweating trembling

if you want to support, take a look at my story - Thoraway villain

[jellyseungmo]

“𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦”

feat: Hwang Hyunjin x f.reader

↳ “Do you ever feel lonely in a room filled with people?”

status: coming soon

warnings: unprotected sex, begging, semi public sexual acts, names such as: (baby), mentions of alcoholism, and drugs (the mc is a hot mess)

an: this is a part of my college skz series SSFW where you can read one or all the stories. Each boys story weaves together but they can be read as ones shots.

𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰.

[jellyseungmo]

Lipstick on the glass

a hyunjin ff.

Angst, fluff

warnings: cursing, kissing, mentions of drug alchohol consumption, Sexual comments are made. mention of murder and violence. Bad boy??? cold hearted Hyunjin. Y/n is blunt. not edited. poor grammar. Tell me if I missed something!

wc: 1.7k

Note: Hi! I haven't written anything in like a really long time, so I thought i might as well while i had the inspiration. This isn't the greatest but I enjoyed creating it!

inspired by...

"I really don't wanna be here, Maude." Y/n said bluntly with their arms crossed, looking at their best friend since Freshman year.

"Y/n, please for god's sake, have fun." Maude rolled her eyes as she sipped on the overly alcoholic beverage in her hand. The glass had sweat all over from the cold drink.

"This is fun to you? Getting drunk and taking hard drugs just to get Male validation from man whores that arent going to know you tomorrow? that's fun?" Y/n tilted her head and smiled sarcastically, her voice a bit high pitched.

The two of them were at a old broken down trailer, sketchy I know. Maude always brought y/n to these places and called it 'a fun experience'

Y/n never dressed up, so they just had their casual band tee and ripped jeans on.

"saying getting drunk and taking hard drugs would have been enough." Y/n's brunette friend sat on the steps outside.

""you know, y/n. Ever since our senior year, you just haven't been who you were..." Maude sighs.

"because I grew up?" Y/n stated in a questioning tone.

"we are 21 years old. 21! I'm trying to have a future and a fucking home and-"

"maybe a husband and kids?" Maude cuts Y/n off.

"never gonna happen." Y/n sits down beside their friend.

"Come on! you know Hyunjin isn't the only person you're ever gonna meet."

"Who said I cared about Hyunjin?" Y/n side eyed Maude and took a sip of water.

"Your actions. Your commitment issues..."

"And me." The two that were sitting down heard a very familiar voice, it sent shivers down Y/n's spine, and made them look up.

"Hi girls!" He waved with a cheeky smile, looking down at them.

"Maude, Y/n..." He continued

"and I thought you would have changed." Y/n sighs

"Well this is my cue to leave...I...the refrigerator stopped running..." Maude points to the front door and gets up.

"maybe I can catch it now!! Tootles!" Maude smiled widely.

Hyunjin sighed and sat down beside y/n, making them scoot further away.

"I never said I would change." He laughs

"and i didnt say it was a bad thing"

Change. That's what y/n thought about after Hyunjin kissed then for the last time, or so they thought it was the last time. They never knew that after 4 years, their high school sweetheart would be in the same place as them again. As sketchy as the place was, it was kind of a blessing that Maude brought them here.

"Do you wanna go on a drive?" Hyunjin grinned

"after you left me for four years with no last words...you don't owe me an explanation, but I would at least like to know if it was something I did." Y/n played with their fingers, looking at the red solo cup filled half full with water in their hand.

"I just...needed time, you were graduating and I was failing and...and i felt embarrassed and i felt like you were embarrassed of me.."

"woah woah woah, Hyunjin. Stop for a second- what the fuck?" Y/n shook their head in disbelief.

"So i didn't do anything but-"

"but I wanted you to keep a good reputation and I didnt want to hold you back." Hyunjin cut off their sentence.

"well I think we would both be better off if we would have stayed together..." Y/n's voice cracked, thinking about all of the things that could have changed if they would have just stayed together.

"We wouldn't be here...we would be in a home, probably, I could have went to college and been a psychologist, and you could have been an artist like you always wanted..." Y/n started to tear up as Hyunjin stayed silent. He watched, and observed, he wasn't the type to be great with his own feelings, let alone other people's, especially the person that he used to call his.

"Y/n I'm sorry...and I could say it over and over again but that won't ever be enough, you know?" Hyunjin tried to be genuine.

"I...I'm not like the best at apologizing or being sentimental...but I do still care...about you." He nodded as Y/n looked up.

"Hyunjin."

"hm?'

"shut up and take me to your car."

Hyunjin's car still smelled the same, musky, almost like trees? But somewhat fruity? It's so hard to explain, it's a smell like no other. He still liked the same music, had the same air fresheners, same busted back passenger seat window.

"You never got it fixed?" Y/n tilted their head.

"nope, you're the one that hurdled a golf ball at it."

"hey! we were drunk!!" Y/n laughed, hitting hyunjin's shoulder.

"WE?? no honey, YOU. YOU were drunk" He laughed as well, pulling out of the driveway of the trailer.

Y/n paused for a second and leaned into Hyunjin.

"Tipsy..." They wiggled their eyebrows.

Hyunjin just shook his head and sighed.

"I missed you." He said quietly.

"did you?"

"of course, I was just too much of a fucking coward to call you."

"scared I was gonna yell?" Y/n smiled softly

"that...and I just didnt hear your voice while you cried."

"I never cried over you." Y/n shook her head

"you damn liar! Maude sent me PARAGRAPHS of threats and just 'y/n is a fucking mess without you, I'm gonna kill you blahblah bullshit."

"of course she did" Y/n rolled their eyes.

Hyunjin stopped at an empty park.

"wanna walk around?"

"we can" Y/n shrugged, getting out of the car.

"It feels really nice out here tonight" Hyunjin sighed and looked around, his black hair blew back a bit as the wind started to pick up.

"Yeah, the wind is a bit unbearable but it is really nice"

Hyunjin chuckled and nodded at y/ns statement in agreement.

"we can go to my place then" Hyunjin suggested

"okay but...dont get any ideas. I dont want anything like that right now.."

"Jeez, y/n what a way to crush a man's dreams." He sighed as Y/n rolled their eyes, looking around

"I'm joking" He laughed a bit.

"let's just go."

Y/n rolled down the window, and placed their head out it, observing the way to their past lovers apartment. The way they would go every single day for 4 years, and completely avoided for 3. The wind ripped through their hair, the feeling of euphoria and freedom was washing over y/n. They wanted this moment to last forever. Hyunjin was amused. The person that he loved for the longest time, he finally had them back. He finally had them by his side again. In his car, staring at the city lights. The sounds of car horns and the mixed smells of food from restaurants was filling the air. They both listened to Hyunjin's playlist filled with Fleetwood mac and Paul Anka, with a pinch of Frank Sinatra, Hyunjin's hand on Y/n's thigh to stay safe and make sure they didnt fall out of the window or anything.

"we're close to my place." Hyunjin said, tapping Y/ns thigh as Sisters of the Moon by Fleetwood Mac played, half way finished.

Hyunjin parked on the side of the road, both of them getting out. Y/n looked up and around and up again, a small smile on their face.

"still old and nasty, I know." Hyunjin sighed

"not at all, I've always loved it here." They reassure Hyunjin. It was true, Y/n loved Hyunjin's old beat up apartment, in a building right in the center of a violence ridden neighborhood.

The stairs up to his apartment were creaky and the walls were tatted up in graphite. It wasn't bad at all though, there were no murderers or awful crooks. The owner of the building was a super sweet old man that Y/n had gotten to know over the years.

"Y/n??" They heard a voice behind them, Y/n smiled widely and turned around.

"Nikolas!" They ran up to him and gave him a tight hug.

"I see you took this asshole back" He joked around

"no actually, we're just catching up.." Y/n looked up at Hyunjin, he nodded at her and grinned.

"mmmm if I get a noise complaint-"

"ya! there will be none of that" Hyunjin laughed.

The two walked up the stairs and went inside of Hyunjin's apartment after he unlocked it.

Y/n had noticed a few changes, his couch was different, his TV was a bit bigger. He had an actual stove. He also still had pictures of Y/n, hung exactly were they always were.

"Hyunjin..." Y/n whispered.

"I know...it's creepy.."

"you still love me" They laughed and turned around towards Hyunjin.

"well...absolutely." He grinned.

"and the kiss...it's on your mirror..."

"I told you I'd never wipe it off."

One time, y/n and hyunjin were drunk. Hyunjin did Y/n's make up and they kissed his bedroom mirror. Right in the center.

Y/n didnt know why this was the thing that got them, but it did. It immediately brought tears to their eyes.

"you have no idea how much that means to me, you know..." they sat on Hyunjin's bed, hands over their face.

Hyunjin had finally brought up the courage to hug y/n. The hug wasn't just a hug. It was tighter than anything y/n had ever felt. They hugged for what seemed like hours, but was only about two minutes.

As they pulled away from each other, they got a glance into each others eyes.

"I missed you" Y/n whispered, their arms wrapped around Hyunjin's neck.

"I missed you too...you have no idea" Hyunjin pulled Y/n into a deep deep kiss.

Although they were both sober, the kiss made them both feel a bit tipsy. Drunk on each other. Years of built up need and want for each other was broken. It wasn't harsh, Hyunjin's kisses were always gentle, but it was too much for Y/n to take in, it was overwhelming. This feeling was all taken away as the kiss was broken.

"never fucking leave me again, hyunjin."

"never. I swear"

[jellyseungmo]

ㅤㅤㅤ

[jellyseungmo]

Gestures that gives me butterflies :

(feel free to use<3 THE 6TH PROMPT OMGMGNFBSJSH IF ANYBODY WRITES ANY OF THESE, TAG MEE)

when you're late to an event and they wait outside for you, and say, "I saved you a seat, come on babe."

when you're the one they look at, even if they're at the other end of the room

"i like your smile."

when you're working and they sit by your side, just--admiring and memorizing your every freckle, scar and they mindlessly tug a strand of your hair behind your ear

"do you know.. h-how beautiful you are?" followed by a forehead kiss that lingers longer

when they ask "Please--can i kiss you?" fisting their hands on either side of ur head, just breathing heavily cause they want all of you

when they jog over to you, taking you in their arms and spin you followed by an "i missed you, my love"

"Fall in love with me, just once, I'll carry you in my heart forever."

when they let you sleep in their lap and gives you head messages while frequently stealing kisses

knuckle and palm kisses>>>

when they're an absolutely worst cook but they try to make a cake for you

tugging you by their side and not letting you get out of bed while they whisper in their hoarse, deep voice, "Morning, mi amor"

when they slide their arms around your waist, pulling you closer to their torso

"Out of everything that suits me, you suit me better."

for more:

[jellyseungmo]

date ideas for your characters

blindfolding your date, leading them to a wonderful surprise

beautiful picnic in the garden

taking photographs of each other

dancing under the stars

sleep under the stars, roast marshmallows and stargaze

visit museums (could be art, archeology, dinosaurs, human evolution, space)

a standard date, dinner and a movie

drive-in movie date, dinner at a fast-food place at one a.m.

playing mini golf or some other type of sport

going to an amusement park, sharing a kiss in the alley

going to a food truck festival

cooking or baking class! alternatively, cooking together at home

asking your “friend” to be your plus-one to another friend’s wedding

visit an antique book story, choose books for each other to read

a date spent cruising around town, visiting small shops, resting your legs at a quiet, cozy little café, holding hands over the table

exploring old castles, monuments, tourist attractions

breakfast dates

watching the sunset or sunrise

going for a midnight drive

doing an activity you’re both terrible at, for a good old laugh 

playing video/board games together

writing each other love letters

recreating your first/favorite date

building a snowman, having a snowball fight

going to a pumpkin patch, choosing the perfect pumpkin, decorating for halloween together. alternatively, decorating for christmas

go to an escape room

make a time capsule

visit a haunted house

meet each other in a bar, assume new identities, and try to pick each other up

[jellyseungmo]

ᥫ᭡ — LITTLE ROMANTIC GESTURES!

holding their hands

kissing their forehead before sleeping

trying to cook their favourite dish

softly rubbing your nose against theirs

dancing together in the rain

caressing their cheek

pulling them in the warmest hugs

complimenting them at random times

smiling in-between kisses

reassuring nods and being supportive of their choices

leaving small love notes for them to find

remembering their favourite food/drinks and getting them that

gently wiping your tears

helping you wear your necklace and kissing your neck softly

slow dancing with soft smiles

pulling them close while sleeping

making playlists for them

feeding them as they work

being observant to their likes and dislikes

confessing when the other one is sleeping

handwritten letters

resting foreheads together

giving them nicknames

putting a blanket on them as they sleep

fixing their tie

feel free to use and share!

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