#&dynamics/Lysandra

[acourtofquestions]

Here, let me explain it...

Aedion's wife is Lysandra who is dating Aelin who is married to Rowan who is dating Lorcan who is married to Elide who is dating Manon who is dating Dorian who is in love with Chaol who is married to Yrene.

It's just that simple.

[benvoliotheorphan]

Me: Yeah I don’t think I can really ship Kratos with anyone. It’s just really hard for me to imagine him in any sort of romantic relationship. Yes I know he was married twice, but still-

God of War Ragnarok: Shows flashbacks of Kratos with Faye

Me, with tears in my eyes: Oh, okay, nevermind.

[antivan-beau]

usually I am very bemused by people who read fanfiction but have never interacted with the base piece of media, but I actually HAVE read shadowdrei fic just because I need a crowt3 fix so badly

[kimchiagustd]

one week post KOA reading and not surprisingly, i am still mourning... spoilers ahead but i need to let go of all these feelings.

i miss this new family i discovered, the excitement of the next chapter or the next book, the anguish, the tears, the cliffhangers, the surprises, the couples and friendships dynamics. i miss everything about tog!

my brain is still processing aaaallllll the events of 7000 pages and a lot of things are settling when i could not process everything while still reading the books…

but to me, this saga is a masterpiece for so many reasons. as a woman, there are so many things validating in these books, i don’t even know where to begin with.

the sorority in tog is still mind blowing to me, probably my favorite part of the whole saga, that we clearly don’t talk about enough. the ending with aelin walking to meet her people with her girlfriends, marching with them as equals still gives me goosebumps. aelin and lysandra friendship (bestfriends and soulmates), aelin and ansel friendship (free young spirits), aelin and manon friendship (rivals then equal queens), aelin and yrene friendship (sisters), aelin and nesryn friendship (admiration and role models), aelin and elide friendship (bonded by fate and a love for the same kingdom) are so precious to me... i could write entire essays about them. i adore how all the female characters just fell in love with aelin, saw her vision of a better world and just followed her to the end. and then, the thirteen, do i even need te explain myself? i think a part of me will forever mourn them. the heartbreak i felt after their death is unspeakable. i never read a book with such flawed and beautiful characters. asterin (her hunter and her whichling), sorrel, vesta, imogen, ghislaine, faline, fallon, edda, briar, thea, kaya and linnea have my whole heart.

marion and josefin are branded in my very soul. their characters had so few pages but gods, how their sacrifice still resonate in me...

then the different journeys of all the characters… chaol has a special place in my heart, despite everything, despite all these things being said about him. he had so many flaws, did so many mistakes, but what a journey, what a fight against depression and disability, what an end… he was so lost and tormented throughout thousands of pages, even while being passionately in love with celeana (not aelin!), and is so appeased at the end, married and soon to be a dad… i rarely felt so proud of someone, fictional character or not. i am convinced chaol is one of the best written characters of the saga.

i read a lot of mean things about aedion too and that just broke my heart because the man redefined loyalty all by himself. he lost everything he was taught to believe in, whored himself with the enemy for his people while believing he lost his entire family and kingdom, lost every men and women in koa as a general (his very essence as a person!) and still held the line for hundreds of pages like rowan told him to do so. I. JUST. DON'T. GET. WHY. he is so hated for some fights with lysandra (that i don't excused!) in a horrific context, in the middle a many battles and thousands of casualties. just reread aedion's arc during koa : the only thing he experienced for hundreds of pages is failure, death, grief, terror and guilt, believing he failed terrasen again. LEAVE. MY. MAN. ALONE. plus, aedion is a bisexual icon, and he slayed the whole books, period.

same thing with lorcan. oh my lorcan… i won’t even begin with him but gods, what awful things i read about him… i don't know why but i fell really hard for this character, despite knowing very few things about him. he was far from being perfect, we agree on that. but what a redemption arc. him being finally at peace at the end, after 500 years of wars, (self-)hatred and being used and fooled by a valg bitch queen, made me tear up as mush as sam's death (shocking, i know but i don't make the rules).

i think, surprisingly regarding our society, people were harsher with the male characters than the female ones. aelin, manon, lysandr and elide lied and did mistakes too, yet somehow, people forgave them immediately. i think we should reflect on that.

a few words about baby dorian too... i think his end was my biggest and bitter disappointment at the end of the whole saga. i can't even tell how his ending wreaked me. he is the one character not at peace at the end of this whole journey. his city is utterly ruined, he is alone in his big castle (the very place where he lost the first woman he sincerely loved and the very place where he was enslaved) with the thought he killed the man he hated his whole life but somehow wasn't the bad guy, his friends are all married or happily in love, even manon won back the witches and her lost kingdom... but dorian is lonelier than ever and that does not sit right with me. he was such a hopeful and loving young man at the beginning of the saga but is broken at the end... i NEED a sequel, he deserves one, more than anyone.

and rowan, oh rowan... i think "love" is not strong enough to define aelin and rowan relationship. the way they overcame depression together long before falling in love with each other is one of the most beautiful thing of this saga. they just saw each other. i love how rowan accepted aelin 1000000%, flaws, scars, fire and all. i love how he never overstepped. like many people, i read acotar before tog and thought no one could surpassed rhysand but how wrong i was... to me, rowan is the best for so many reasons. he never took decisions for aelin, always respected her every moves, respected her pace, never lied to her. i am emotional writing this because him saying "aelin is my heart... my fireheart"... *sob* aelin loves rowan with every bones and cells in her body but rowan's love for aelin? i don't know, there's something about it, i can't find the right words... i don't think i'll ever find an other rowan in an other book. rowan was intensity, hatred, heartbreak, depression, longing, guilt, pain, redemption, learning, harshness, softness, falling in love, crossing an ocean for the woman he loved, giving her an armada when he had nothing, tattooing wyrdkeys in her back to bring her back to him, waiting, loving, loving, loving again and again and again. rowan is suddenly the sweetest and most beautiful name i've ever heard. rowan is love and so much more. rowan is aelin's heart and soul and the key to this new world because aelin without rowan is fear and too far gone. rowan is everything. and what i am about to write seems crazy but i think because there's so much things happening in tog, so much characters loving each other, so many couples we rooted for, we took for granted rowan's love and actions and he somehow became a secondary character - crazy, right? i think we loved passionately his character (especially in hof and qos) but somehow forgot on the way how utterly incredible and unique he is. him saying in qos aelin must build a theater in terrasen after the war and then him offering it to her as a mate / wedding gift at the end of koa? i mean, our boy is a man of his word and i love him so much for it. WE TOOK ROWAN FOR GRANTED AND DID NOT GIVE HIM ENOUGH CREDIT.

anyway, i could write so many more things about so many characters and scenes that broke me in these books (my same is sam cortland and i am not afraid) but you got the idea.

tog is the best saga i've ever read and i am not the same person anymore after reading it. i'll take time to heal. but how grateful i am i have a good run with all these characters...

[charalysis]

Kratos Part something or Other: Dynamics Between Faye vs Lysandra

In God of War, Kratos has been married twice. I would like to take the time here today to analyze how he functioned as a husband in each relationship, how it succeeded or not, and the difference between who he was at each stage in life in each marriage.

I think here, I'd actually like to begin with the second marriage, his marriage to Faye.

Faye

Starting off with some background, when Faye and Kratos met, it's canon that the two fought, nearly killing each other. But they stopped the fight, both being world weary. Eventually they got to know one another and fell in love. Ten years after their meeting, they built their cabin we see in game, and that's about when Kratos confessed his past and his true nature to Faye. Then twenty-two years after that (yeah zero idea how Kratos didn't realize his wife wasn't mortal after she barely aged in 32 years), they had Atreus.

Now! In the game (from the dream sequences obviously), we see Faye is playful with Kratos, teasing him and calling him Grumbles, while Kratos seems stoic and unresponsive to much of it. Though, it must be something he actually loves about his wife because otherwise he'd be annoyed by it, which he isn't. He just... Let's it be. And Faye seems to always be giving him sly little smiles, knowing he isn't as annoyed as he may try to play with his vague grunts. Faye is also the idealistic one, wanting to help all she can, when she can, and maintain a certain balance in the world. She's open and kinder and believes it's her responsibility to fix the problems she can, and encourages Kratos to do the same.

On Kratos's end, he's quiet, content to watch Faye and listen to her over speaking himself. He's softer with her, though, than others. Gentle and he actually tries to express his feelings with her. At times his own emotions can come out in him trying to dissuade Faye from her own course of action (wanting to bury her instead of cremate her and trying to tell her he dislikes the notion of cremation), but he ultimately listens and heeds her wishes because he loves her. In terms of ideals, Kratos is Faye's opposite. He's overly focused on attempts at practicality and self preservation to the point of ignoring others, and attempting to avoid what is reasonably easy for him to fix.

As a couple, they're essentially the epitome of opposites attract in terms of personality. Faye is the lighter, happier one. She's open to new ways of thinking and living, often going out of her way to try and improve conditions around her or protect others. Kratos, on the other hand, is reserved and a bit depressive. He often outright rejects new thinking because it goes against his own deeply ingrained way of thought from his Spartan upbringing. And because of his history, he's a bit reclusive and often only seeks to sustain and protect those dear to him.

The difference in their personalities is also reflected in how they raised Atreus as a couple.

Faye taught compassion and kindness and love. She taught Atreus to think outside himself and feel for others.

Kratos taught Atreus to shut himself off so he couldn't be hurt. He taught Atreus self preservation above all else because it would keep him alive.

Unfortunately, because of Kratos's attempts to control his temper and never let it get the better of him, thus being away frequently, balance was never brought to Atreus's foundations growing up until his teens.

Faye and Kratos were very in sync as a couple, but parenting seemed to be difficult between them because they clearly had wildly different styles, and because of Kratos's avoidant nature, it was never reconciled.

Faye often encouraged Kratos to be better than he was before, to push forward and look towards a brighter future. Something he struggled with especially after her death.

Lysandra

In the assumed canon, by the time Kratos is God of War he's around 38 years old after his ten years of service. This places him at at least 26-28 when he made the deal with Ares, then broke his oath to him. Spartan men were encouraged to marry at 20, but not allowed to live with their family until relieved of active military duty at 30, at which point they'd be legally required to marry.

This means it's likely Kratos married Lysandra at 20-ish, then they had Calliope around one to two years into the marriage. This is just timeline establishment.

Now, similar to their daughter, Lysandra held no fear of Kratos, unlike many. By the time she met and married him, Greece knew him well as a fierce captain and warrior. But it seemed, to Lysandra, he was a man like any other. She loved him as he was, flaws and all.

This is not to say she had any real personal reasons to fear him. He was far from abusive to her. He adored his wife and brought her beautiful gifts when he did come home.

One thing it is known about her in relation to her lack of fear of her husband was her ability to call him out. To tell him what she felt and thought of his actions. She was not afraid to tell him her concerns that at times he didn't seem to be pushing for the glory of Greece. She felt he was often pushing for personal power instead. She tried to encourage him to find less violent methods of solving problems.

According to Kratos in GoW: Valhalla, Lysandra saw in him a goodness and a better path long before he could.

Lysandra was absolutely one of the few things keeping the younger, more impulsive and brash Kratos somewhat grounded.

I think their marriage was probably a bit tense at times, but still very loving and affectionate. It's clear Lysandra was a loyal and loving wife, and Kratos did his best to show he loved her in return.

However, Kratos outright calls himself a bad husband to her and says she deserved better from him.

This shows that, perhaps in hindsight, Kratos knew his behavior and actions were negatively affecting Lysandra, whether he meant them to or not.

Kratos also says that in the way Lysandra tried to help him be better, Faye reminds him of her. They both pushed him to improve himself and be a kinder person, to be thoughtful and selfless.

[shyvioletcat]

Set Up - Part 6

A/N: Well, well, well... here we are again. I won't ramble, but let's thank Rowaelin Month and @rowaelinscourt for prompting the completion of this chapter. BUT PLEASE NOTE TAGS ARE NOT WORKING

CW: Mild swearing and smut, of course

~ Set Up Masterlist ~

~~~~~

This time being apart felt different. Maybe seeing so much of each other had ruined what had been enjoying in such a carefree way for so long. Now, whenever Aelin thought of Rowan something twisted in her chest. That week brought them closer than they’d been in a long time and highlighted some things Aelin was missing in her life. 

A boyfriend was the simplest way to put it, delving further would only lead to questions Aelin did not want to answer. She was being dramatic, due to her recent bout of being alone no doubt. Spending all that time together had left her spoiled and craving more. Rowan wasn’t the answer and not a consolation for her loneliness. He deserved better than that, better than her. He’d always talked about wanting a perfect little life, with a family and white picket fence to boot. Aelin couldn’t give him that. Their lives had split down two different paths that only crossed whenever fate was kind. For all parties involved it was the best way to leave. It was just fortunate that they had been found out. 

Aelin had spent nearly a month screening her calls and messages from nearly everyone outside of work. Even though she had explicitly told her mother she didn’t want to talk about the situation between her and Rowan, Evalin Ashryver Galathynius was never one to give up. The innocent calls and texts that asked about work and how Aelin was doing always seemed to take a turn in his direction. It had got to the point that she just completely ignored any mention of relationship related things. Even her dad who tended to keep neutral ground had dropped a few hints here and there. 

By far Aedion was the worst, mainly because he had gone and opened his fat mouth and blabbed to Lysandra about what he had seen. Her best friend turned cousin’s girlfriend had been begging for details, some of the obscene kind. Aelin had given over a few, just to placate her but then refused anymore. The more information she gave, the more likely it was to be used against her. 

The hardest contact to filter through had been Rowan’s. There had been an obvious shift when it came to him and it was confusing to say the least. Aelin didn’t know if it was because they had been found out or if there had been a change in their dynamic, or if it was as simple as her missing him. Whatever it was, Aelin found herself pulling away. Rowan’s texts weren’t anything out of the ordinary. He sent through casual enquiries about how she was doing, frustrations about work and funny pictures to make her laugh. Aelin wasn’t replying as much as she usually did, but hopefully Rowan didn’t notice. He didn’t deserve to suffer for whatever was going on in Aelin’s head. 

What had heightened every uncomfortable aspect was that work had been godsdamned awful. They had launched into planning the peak event season and everyone was working their asses off trying to come up with fresh ideas for the companies who employed them. Aelin was exhausted and left with very little brain power once she left work. She was drained and didn’t need work fraying the remaining threads of her personal life. 

Aelin was in the middle of decompressing, sprawled out on her bed and eating an unhealthy amount of chocolate. Since arriving home maybe half an hour ago she had steadily paced herself and only eaten half a block while she mindlessly scrolled through videos on social media. If cute animals and spicy book snippets hadn’t been there to distract her she might have downed the entire thing by now and felt sick for her reckless efforts. When a call for a video chat flashed up on her screen Aelin nearly dropped her phone right on her face. 

Once the risk of injury was removed Aelin registered who was calling. It was Elide, someone who wouldn’t be full of prying questions which was a welcome relief. Aelin hit the accept button before it rang out.

“Hello, hello,” Aelin said, trying to sound cheerful but it didn’t quite get there. 

“Good evening, I need your help.” Trust Elide to cut straight to the point. 

“With what?” With her interest piqued, Aelin sat up.

“I have a date and I don’t know what to wear,” Elide said. 

“Ah, okay. Show me your options.”

This was a common occurrence and Aelin waited as Elide set her phone up to get a full body angle. She disappeared from the frame for a moment before returning, dressed in a fluffy robe and holding three outfits on coat hangers. 

“Option one,” Elide held up a knee length, dark purple dress to her body. “Two.” The second dress was all black and form fitting. It was one of Elide’s riskier outfits and she almost hadn’t bought it, and it took both Aelin and Lysandra insisting she looked drop dead gorgeous in it for her to buy it. “And three.” Dress three was in light blue with a fitted bodice and puffy sleeves.

“Okay, these are three completely different vibes. What are we actually going for?” Aelin asked.

With a heavy sigh, Elide sank onto her bed. “I don’t know.”

She tried the pragmatic approach. “Well, what are you doing?”

“Dinner first, and then we’re going to the movies. But the fancy ones with the recliners,” Elide explained. 

“Option two is out because half the night he won’t even be able to see it and it’s a waste of an outfit,” Aelin said.

“But I look so good in it,” Elide protested.

“Yes, that’s why it’s worth saving,” Aelin rebutted. 

“Okay, you’re right. So, purple or blue?” Elide held up the remaining options. 

Aelin thought for a moment, eyes darting between the two dresses. “Purple. The blue is a little short and you don't want that scratchy fabric on your thighs.”

“Gods, you’re right,” Elide said. “This is why we’re friends.”

Aelin laughed. “The only reason. So, who is this hot date?”

At this distance from the camera it was hard to tell but Aelin could have sworn Elide blushed. “We’ll see how this date goes and then I’ll tell you.”

“Elide Lochan, a woman of mystery,” Aelin teased. 

“Stay on while I get dressed,” Elide said, disappearing from view. “We haven’t caught up in a hot minute.”

“We haven’t.” The air left Aelin’s lungs as she heavily flopped down on the bed. “I’ve been so busy with work and stuff I just feel like I have no time.”

“Aw, sweetie. That sounds like no fun at all,” Elide’s voice was full of sympathy. 

Aelin left out the constant badgering of her family and the extra weight that was adding to everything, and also the weird sense of loneliness she hadn’t felt since she had first moved to Rifthold. Those were things she didn’t want her overly perceptive friend’s commentary on. 

“You’ll have to have enough fun for the two of us,” Aelin said. She was about to complain about work some more when a message popped up at the top of her screen. Her heart skipped, or maybe it was her stomach, it happened so suddenly Aelin couldn’t determine which part of her body was doing summersaults. The text was short and succinct, and so perfectly Rowan. 

>> I’m coming to Rifthold this weekend. See you then. 

He would be in her city, in less than 48 hours. Like always, there was no question of whether or not they would see each other. They had been at this for so long it was presumed without question for them to meet up and do what they did best. A text like this usually led to excitement and thrilling anticipation, and that was there. Except this time there was a little bit of trepidation sneaking in as well. 

“What’s that face?” Elide’s question cut through Aelin’s thoughts. 

“Huh?” 

Elide’s face took up the screen, a dark brow raised in question. “The face you’re making right now. What’s that about?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Aelin tried to assure her.

“Spill, Aelin,” Eldie demanded. 

Aelin considered the benefits of divulging just a little bit to Elide. It might just relieve a little bit of pressure that keeping all this to herself was building up. She didn’t have to admit to what she and Rowan got up to, maybe she could just circle around the set up they’d been subjected to. 

“I just got a message from Rowan,” Aelin said. “He’s coming this weekend.”

“Oh, good,” Elide sounded downright gleeful. “Maybe getting laid will help with some stress relief.”

Aelin laughed until she realised what her friend had said. “What?”

“Work won’t seem like the worst thing in the world while Rowan is blowing—’’

Aelin shot straight up. “Wait, you know? How? Who told you?” 

Dark eyes stared through the screen. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are. No one told, I just found it really weird that at the bar Rowan came back from the bathrooms with a massive hard-on and you followed after him two seconds later.”

“I…” for a moment Aelin was at a loss for words. “You couldn’t have seen that.”

“True,” Elide said with a shrug. “But his face certainly looked like he had one.”

Aelin wanted to bury her face in her pillow. “Who else noticed?”

“Our friends, bar myself, are not as observant as you’re giving them credit for,” Elide assured her. “I was going to wait for you to tell me, but I jumped the gun because that look on your face doesn’t look like pure excitement.”

“It’s complicated,” Aelin admitted.  

Elide scoffed. “Yeah, banging your best friend usually is.”

“It was all fine and dandy until this last trip, we saw each other way more than we usually do and our mothers very insistently tried to set us up on more than one occasion. So things were different, and I don’t know… I think I miss him. More than any other time before.”

That was it, she missed him, that’s all there was to it. Saying it aloud solidified the thought in her mind. The hesitation came from the fact this visit was happening so soon. Usually it was months before they saw each other, their travelling for work between cities wasn't frequent. Too much time together on this last trip was to blame for everything. There were too many heightened emotions and now they were lingering and causing trouble. Why couldn’t they just keep things as they were? Simple, easy, no pesky strings attached. 

“So…” Elide hedged, “you’ll be telling him no this time?”

Aelin considered it for a moment. She could just say she already had plans because it was so last minute. That would give her the distance that she probably needed to start thinking clearly again. But with Rowan in the same city, could she really bring herself to stay away?

“No, I’ll see him,” Aelin decided. “It would be weird if I didn’t. And you’re right, maybe a little bit of recreational sexual activities will help with the stress.”

“And you’ll stop missing him,” Elide added. “For the time being, at least.”

Aelin nodded. “True. Well, I won’t keep you from your date any longer, but I want you to know I’m slightly insulted that you won’t tell me who it is.”

“You’ll get over it. I love you,” Elide said in that brutally succinct way of hers.

“I love you too,” Aelin said through her laughter. “Have fun.”

They both said a final goodbye and Aelin hung up. A new feeling of clarity settled over her. All this turmoil over Rowan was pointless. All it really came down to was that during their last set of rendezvous Aelin had been spoiled for company and now she was just dealing with going without. She was overreacting and she blamed work and meddlesome relatives not giving her a moment’s peace. Work she couldn’t do much about besides just getting it done. But she’d be having words with her mother about how butting into her love life was well and truly off the table. Especially if it was going to do a number on brain like this, not if it was going to ruin the friendship she valued most. What she and Rowan had was perfect the way it was—it was exactly what the two of them needed. It was up to Aelin to ignore everything else to keep it that way. 

~~~~~

Rowan was a desperate man. He had hounded his boss from the moment Aelin left for some opportunity to be sent to Rifthold. He was knocked back so many times that he’d been trawling through commissions himself to find just the slightest excuse. When he got the call that one of the museums in Rifthold they worked with needed a consult Rowan was thrown the job out of pity. Or maybe it was to get him to shut up.

In the end, Rowan couldn’t care less. He was going Orynth, and he was so caught up on the fact that he would be seeing Aelin again that work hardly mattered to him. Aelin was all he cared about. Telling her how he felt was more important than an upgrade to the mediaeval wing of the museum. 

Nearly every night since she’d left he had to talk himself down from booking his own ticket and flying out. That wasn’t the way they did things and Rowan had no idea what Aelin felt. if he showed up out of the blue there was a decent chance he would scare her or himself off. As tempted as he was to make some big grand gesture, there was too much history between them for that kind of action. There were obstacles and things they would need to sort out before they moved forward, none of which would be easily overcome. Their situation was complicated, and complicated required caution. Rowan had to convince himself more than once that keeping it business as usual was the best choice.

All those semi sleepless nights didn’t matter now, because at this very moment he was checking into his hotel room. It was late Friday evening, the trip was so sudden that he had to leave after work. Rowan would spend Saturday meeting with whoever it was at the museum he needed and then he would be able to see Aelin. His lack of focus was a serious indicator for how flippant he’d become over this particular job. Any other time he’d have the client’s names memorised, would have gone over his notes and designs a hundred times. Instead he’d spent most of his time looking at his phone waiting to see what Aelin had to say. 

She’d agreed to meet up but had let him know that work had been insane and things might be a little up in the air. Rowan didn’t mind in the slightest. All that mattered was talking to Aelin and he was determined that this would be the trip to do it. There was no more wasted time, he was in love with her and it was as simple as that.  

The daylight hours of Saturday were all but meaningless. Rowan managed to keep himself professional for when he needed to and presented his plans without flourish. After that he returned to his room and became no better than a teenager—phone in hand and eyes glued to it. He tried not to get too disappointed every time that Aelin pushed back their meet up time to a little later. At first they were meant to meet before dinner, and then it was for dinner. Rowan was about to leave for the restaurant when a text came in with a heartfelt apology from Aelin saying that she wouldn’t make it. His heart had stopped in his chest because he thought she was cancelling altogether, but she finished off with a promise she’d come to him and to just send her the address. 

Rowan had done exactly that and ordered in. He tried to watch TV while he waited. The channels were limited and he couldn’t be bothered to go through the whole process of logging into a streaming service, so he just let a renovation show play while he ran through everything he needed to say to Aelin. He debated back and forth over the merits of starting with I love you and going from there. This current round he was against it, a case of too much too soon. There was still the unanswered question of how Aelin felt and that was what the axis of his entire future existence spun on. 

And then finally there was a knock on his door.

Launching would be the best way to describe Rowan’s departure from the bed. It was a single room accommodation, with a bed, desk and small attached bathroom, so it was only a matter of seconds until he had his hand on the door handle. Rowan took in one deep breath to ready himself, swinging the door open and he found her.

Aelin stood there, a tired smile on her face and still dressed in her work clothes. She had a large bag over her shoulder that most likely contained clothes for the night. As Rowan looked at her now, taking in every inch of her, he wondered how he had been able to suppress his feelings for so long.

“You gonna let me in, hotshot?” Aelin asked, a hand rising to her hip. “Or am I booking my own room?”

“Yeah, sorry.” Rowan stepped aside, hoping he didn’t come across as awkward as he suddenly felt.

Aelin gave him a look like she might be questioning his sanity before walking into his room. Rowan shut the door behind her and withheld the need to hold her—to kiss her senseless and confess every little thing that had built up over these weeks apart. She stopped by the little table, picking at his leftover pizza. 

“Do you mind if I use your shower? I feel a little gross after such a long day,” Aelin said, chewing over a piece of pepperoni.

“Of course,” Rowan said, gesturing at the bathroom door. 

Aelin disappeared a moment later and once again Rowan had to wait. The buzz of the shower added to the sounds of the TV, and he didn’t bother to change the volume. He didn’t care about the clashing wallpaper or bedding choices. Rowan just lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling fan. Last time he’d seen one of these in a hotel room his pants had ended hanging over it. He didn’t know whether he should be hoping for a repeat performance or not. 

The shower shut off and Rowan’s body thrummed with anticipation. Soon enough Aelin would be here, in his arms, and he could admit to how he felt. They could talk and they would figure out some way to make their situation work. The door creaked open after what seemed like a lifetime and Rowan sat up. Aelin stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in an oversized t-shirt with her damp hair loose around her shoulders. She’d washed off all her make-up, but she wasn’t any less beautiful.

“Work has been the worst,” Aelin nearly groaned, heading to the minibar and pulling out a bottle of beer. “I know this will cost you like $50 so I’ll pay you back.”

“It’s fine,” Rowan said, he’d give her just about anything right now if she asked for it. 

Aelin took a few decent mouthfuls then left it on the table along with the pizza. Then she stalked over to him, stopping right in between his knees. Her hands rested on his shoulders, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. 

“Aelin,” it felt so good to just say her name, to see her face soften just the slightest when he did. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Rowan’s breath caught as Aelin brought her body flush against his. The fingers in his hair tightened, angling his face upwards so he could watch her whisper, “I don’t want to talk.”

She kissed him and Rowan could never deny her. After what must have been a hellish day this is what Aelin needed from him. To be touched and made to forget about the world outside this hotel room. Rowan could give her that—gladly. And he just told himself the same thing he’d been repeating over the last few weeks. He could wait a little longer. 

~~~~

Rowan’s lips were soft as they met her’s, and Aelin sighed at the feeling that swept through her body. His hands were a steadying and familiar weight on her waist. Sometimes it was a shock as to how big they were, it took her a moment to remember just how much of her they could touch at once. Those hands that were always gentle, always making her feel cherished in every caress, that was no different as he pulled her down into his lap. Aelin straddled his hips, thighs tightening as she felt him through his sweatpants. It was flattering that only a few kisses and fleeting touches were all it took for him to be so hard and ready for her. She was almost impatient enough to tug his sweatpants down to free his cock, riding him hard and fast. But then it would be over too soon and Aelin might just be too tired for another round. So, instead she’d let him draw this out like he’d like to do to make every moment count. 

This was exactly what she needed, a wonderful, all consuming distraction.

She whimpered as Rowan’s grip flexed on her waist, and then again when his hands travelled lower. In her overnight bag in the bathroom there was a nice little set she had planned on wearing but after a long soothing shower the idea was just too uncomfortable. So she’d gone without and as Rowan’s fingers dipped under the hem of her t-shirt he was about to discover how little she actually wore.

“Aelin,” he groaned as the pass over her hips revealed no trace of underwear. “You’re… I’ll never be able to explain it.”

He was rambling, and that was sweet, flattering even. But it wasn't nearly enough by a long shot. Aelin ground down on the hard length of him, using actions rather than words to beg for what she needed. Rowan got the hint. Holding her thighs he changed their positions, laying her softly down on the bed. They worked in sync, taking turns to remove each other’s clothes. Aelin ran her hands over exposed and heated skin, tracing over dips and curves she had memorised so many times before. 

“Touch me, Rowan,” Aelin said in between kisses.

Rowan didn’t answer, he only pushed up enough so that he could run a hand down her body right to the middle of her thighs. Aelin gasped as he teased her with sweeping passes of a knuckle over her centre, making her buck and writhe until his thumb pressed down on her clit. Her moan was next to nothing with Rowan’s mouth on her’s, only muffled and needy sounds escaped as they were smothered by kisses.  

Their first round after being apart was always frenzied, desperation dictating their actions. Aelin expected the same, but this wasn’t. Rowan was slow and thorough, with his lips and his fingers—it was a delicious kind of torture. One finger, and then a second, slipped into her while his thumb drew unhurried circles around her clit. Heat flooded Aelin’s cheeks as her body reacted to the touches that were both too much and not enough. He was keeping her right on the edge, waves of pleasure cresting but never breaking. 

When he did it again, her body tensed as it prepared to let go and Rowan stole it away, had Aelin nearly sobbed out of frustration. “Please, Rowan.”

Rowan kissed her lips, tongue sweeping into her mouth for a dirty kiss. “Please what, Aelin?”

There was a hint of sass to his voice, and by the gods did Aelin rise to the challenge. She hooked a knee over his hip, urging him down so their bodies were flush. When she returned the favour of a kiss she made sure to bite at his bottom lip. “Fuck me, Rowan.”

He didn’t need much more convincing than that. Moving his hand and with a subtle shift of his hips Rowan pushed in, taking his time. Aelin’s hips rolled, coaxing him deeper.

“You feel so perfect.” Rowan sounded relieved and a little overwhelmed. “Every time.”

He cursed colourfully as he pressed his face into the crook of her neck. Aelin couldn’t help it, she laughed, her reward was a bite—right where the juncture of her shoulder and neck. It had her moaning and arching into him. Rowan knew exactly where her buttons were and now she was panting with desperation for him to do something. Anything. 

Rowan didn’t make her wait, a hand high on her thigh kept her in place as he began thrusting. The angle of his cock was perfect, as it always was, and it led Aelin right into her greatest wish of the night. A beautiful distraction. Everything was Rowan, she was consumed by him. Their bodies moved synchronically, both wanting to give as much as the other. A hand that was not her own found Aelin’s breast, fingers rolling the hardened peak. 

“That’s it,” Rowan whispered into her ear, the softness of his voice raising goosebumps over her skin and heightening every sensation. “You want to come. You deserve it.”

That little bit of encouragement was all she needed. Aelin broke, pleasure overtaking every sense in her body. Rowan pressed soft kisses to the length on her neck and face. His hips kept moving, drawing out her orgasm as long as he could. After a few long, bliss filled moments Aelin’s awareness returned to her. 

“So beautiful,” Rowan all but hummed as his gaze swept over her, his next thrust sharper. 

She could feel that Rowan was close, so she guided his face back to her and kissed him. Rowan groaned, losing his rhythm but it still felt just as good, so much so Aelin could feel herself building up again. He pulled back enough to look at her face. Their eyes connected, Rowan’s green gaze holding an intensity that had Aelin flushing with something closer to embarrassment than desire. The eye contact—it was too much. There was something there she hadn’t seen before. Her brain was far too distracted to decipher it so she went with the easiest option to cope. 

“Gods, Rowan,” Aelin breathed, eyes fluttering shut, refocusing on how he felt on every inch of her skin.

“Open your eyes, love,” Rowan urged. He gave her a sweet kiss for extra encouragement. 

So caught up in him, Aelin couldn’t help but do as he asked. What she saw when she looked up at him had her heart pounding in her chest, a new wave of need crashing over her. It tipped her over the edge again, her body tightening before her core pulsed, bringing Rowan right along with her. He moaned deeply, the vibrations of it thrumming over her sensitive skin. Aelin clung to Rowan, waiting for her breathing to even out and sense to settle in her brain. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of sex with Rowan, nothing else even came close.

He had his forehead resting on her collarbone, just as wrecked as she was. Lips dragged over her skin and his next words were whispered right over her heart. “I love you,”

Aelin’s breath caught and those words registered in her blissed out brain, sobering her instantly. But it seemed Rowan hadn’t even noticed what he said, he just rolled to the side, letting Aelin escape to the bathroom. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she felt it in her throat, making her want to vomit. Aelin held back the impulse and cleaned up as quickly as she could. Diving into the overnight bag she had conveniently left in here after the shower Aelin pulled out clothes to put on. It was just an oversized sweater and leggings, but it would be enough to get her to her car.

Because she couldn’t stay here, not now that Rowan had gone and ruined everything. The easiest option was for her to leave, and quickly. If she stayed there might not be anything left of their relationship to salvage. Missing him was one thing, and then there was this. 

This was not what they were, they couldn’t be. It didn’t make sense. Why did Rowan have to go and ruin a perfectly good thing?

I love you.

Those three words echoed in her brain and did nothing to console her. Rowan couldn’t love her, she wasn’t what he needed or wanted. Not really. If he had the sense to really consider it he would know this wasn’t the right course for them. Aelin would give him the opportunity to do just that. She packed up the rest of her bag, so all she had to do was grab her purse and shoes and leave. 

Swallowing down against the tightness in her throat, Aelin opened the door and swept out with the shortest of glances in Rowan’s direction. He was splayed out on the bed looking like he was still recovering after the mind blowing sex. Aelin’s stomach gave a pang of regret when she realised this would be the last time. It would be cruel to put Rowan through any more of this when she didn’t feel the same. 

Aelin gathering up her things seemed to shake him from his daze and he raised himself up on his elbow. “What are you doing?”

She snatched up her purse and stepped around the table. “Leaving.”

“Why…” Rowan trailed off, then realisation dawned on him. “Aelin, wait. Don’t go, let me explain.”

“There’s no need,” Aelin said, slipping a foot into her kitten heel. Rowan went to get out of bed but she stopped him with a raised hand. “Don’t. Just stay there.”

Gods bless him, he did. She could always count on Rowan to respect boundaries.

“Stay, and we’ll talk,” Rowan nearly pleaded. 

“We’re friends, Rowan,” Aelin said, forcing every ounce of bravado into as she could. She even added a strained note of laughter. “That’s all we are and can be.”

“Friends don’t do this.”

Aelin’s head snapped up, it was all too easy to read the look of hurt and disappointment on his face. It wasn’t clear if he was talking about her behaviour in this moment or the casual fucking that they’d indulged in over the years, ending in the subsequent drama that had entangled them. Any way they looked at it, Aelin wasn’t staying for the clarification. She just slipped on the other shoe. 

“I’m going,” she said, rushing for the door. 

“Aelin—”

A glance over her shoulder told her he was making his move to get out of bed, denying her order to stay where he was. But it was too late—her hand was on the door knob. 

“Goodbye, Rowan.” 

Aelin twisted the handle, ignoring the rush of movement behind her and stepped out in the hallway. She thought it would be harder to not look back, but with every step he took away from that hotel room it only bolstered her resolve. They were better off like this, it was now up to Rowan to realise it. 

~~~~~

*smiling in delight but also I'm sorry*

[sarahnotjmaas]

Okay I did it Here are my notes for the tandem read:

Tandem Read

Empire of Storms:

Manon’s crown helmet sounds really cool

These mother fuckers don’t wanna recognize her as queen!?!? She literally can and will protect you from EVERYTHING. I hate men lol

No they cannot kill Asterin. It’s too early in the book I can’t take that

The way she burned that soldier from the inside out with just one little blow of breath was so cool

Omg Manon attacking her grandma!!!

I cannot belief Rowan told Gavriel about Aedion like that!!!! There were much more sensitive ways he coulda said that shit

So Aedion meeting his dad went well😂 “I didn’t expect to say any of that” lol Aedion and Aelin are really the same person huh

Okay Manon and Dorian is way hotter than Aelin and Rowan I don’t even care. Fight me.

Also I feel like if Aedion and Lysandra got more attention they could’ve been *chefs kiss but we get Elide and Lorcan instead. Don’t get me wrong there okay but I think would’ve preferred more focus on Aedion and Lysandra….

Okay I lied about that^

The liken?? Crazy! Aelins power goes stupid hard! I love how SJM describes her power and how she burrows down into it!!

Ansel is back and remind me why we trust her. She’s a known traitor…..

Excuse me??? Dorian or Aelin have to give their life!?!? No. NO!!!! IF SJM KILLS DORIAN!!!!!!!!!

THAT FUCKING BITCH MAEVE!! THEYRE MATES!! I knew it! I didn’t know how but I knew it! This also only gives me more hope for Azriel and Elaine in ACOTAR.

They’re married 😭😭

Tower of Dawn:

So Chaol is acting a little ableist and I low key hopes he learns to be a warrior from a wheelchair. I don’t see that happening but…..

So he’s gonna walk but what are the dynamics here I’m confused

The healer from the womb being found dead in the library is low key scary. I’m glad I didn’t read that at night hahaha

I stand by my statement from the last book that I don’t like Chaol and Nesryn together. They don’t spark anything in me but Nesry and Sartaq, Chaol and Yrene?? Now that intrigues me.

The acolytes gushing over Chaol, CUUUUUTEEE!!!

Him telling Yrene, ‘I didn’t want you to show them’ made me tear up

Ooooooo laying in that bed with her made his toes curl, me too Chaol

Damn Nesryns note was kinda cold. Her and Sartaq are kinda cute though. And like it do be an adventure lol

Chaol and Yrene one a date 🥹🫠

I don’t care about Nesryn lol. Hope she gets the bird people to fight in the war but 🥱

CHAOL IS WALKING my heart is soaring!! I loved everything about that. Yrene tugging him into a corner to make out! Yes!!!! She better get some dick on her birthday! That better be Chaols gift

Okay so the locket was precious but the birthday sex was better hahaha

When is Yrene gone meet Aelin!?!?

Omg SARTAQ!!! I fucking hate spiders wtf

MAEVE IS QUEEN OF THE VALG!?!? WHATTTTT???

Does Rowan know?? How could he not?

Yrene said “I thought the sex was good before but now that he’s fully healed !!!!” Good for you sis

It’s wife right. Her place is his wife. I stg

So while all his friends are facing war and death, Chaols falling in love and getting sloppy toppy lol good for him

Duva is the valg??? Didn’t see that coming

NOOOO CHAOLS BACK! My man got to walk fully healed for like a day! He only ran once

Aww him and Yrene are bonded like Rhys and Feyre!

Sartaq!!!! Omg Nesryn and Sartaq! That was so hot “never from you” 🫠

Chaol and Yrene are married 😭LADY WESTFALL 10/10

Unpopular opinion: tower of Dawn might be my favorite book in the series lol

[jules-writes-stories]

The fandom is so lucky to have you! We appreciate having you here and all that you contribute to it ❤️❤️

1. What brought you into the fandom?

2. What character(s) do you feel the most connected to and why?

3. Out of all of SJM’s books, which one means the most to you and why?

4. Out of all of the SJM couples (fanon, canon, endgame, etc) which one means the most to you and why?

Keep doing you ❤️

Aw, thanks anon! That’s really kind.

1. Reading all the amazing fan fic on AO3 brought me to the fandom. This fandom is so full of talent that it leaves me feeling so grateful! I was inspired to give something back and contribute to it 🩵

2. Eris is my favorite character. I also love Nesta and Lucien. I have a soft spot for Azriel and Cassian. And I need more Emerie and Gwyn— Valkyries up front! For TOG: Manon, Abraxos and the 13. Dorian.

3. Controversial choice, but for ACOTAR: I am going with Silver Flames. Did I agree with everything that went down? Absolutely not. I could write a lot about what I disliked, but I really appreciated getting a fresh POV after so many books in Feyre’s perspective. I loved getting Nesta’s story, and meeting the Valkyries. We got some great Eris moments too. As far as the entire Maasverse: a tie between Empire of Storms and Kingdom of Ash. The 13. Abraxos. Manon. Lysandra on that beach shifting from a sea serpent in EoS…damn.

4. I am a multi-shipper, but an Azris in my heart of hearts. They inspire me like no other, and I write them best. I think there’s something beautiful about two wounded characters healing each other. It’s messy and imperfect but it’s magical too. *Edit to add bc I JUST saw this is SJM and not just ACOTAR (yay reading!) Manon x Dorian are my very first Maasverse loves. Their dynamic is everything.

Thanks for the asks, anon🩵

[medievildead]

for the ship opinion bingo kratos/heimdall 👉👈

HOOOO BOY SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT however you did ask for my opinion and this is my blog so you know what. I am gonna post it. And this will be the only time I talk about it.

I reeeeeally don't like kradall it creeps me out and I don't understand it at fucking all. I see people try to make Hear Me Out posts about them and AUs about them and it just makes less and less sense to me (and I KNOW this is bold ass words coming from me I KNOW) but the canon dynamic that does exist for them at no point to me ever at all in the slightest tipped me off or made me think to ship them. Never clicked.

Then again you gotta remember that I'm someone who has been autistic about Kratos since 2005 and I am so incredibly damn picky about shipping him unironically with anyone. Shipping Kratos with Heimdall knowing the kind of person Kratos is and what hes gone through to Become his new self in the norse saga just doesn't make sense. A lot of kradall I see (that isn't non/con honestly another huge reason I don't vibe with it is that a bunch of people use it as a bolt for r/pe stuff in the early moments of Ragnarok fandom) is just them in a very ooc marriage situation I can't wrap my head around. Throwing Kratos into a heavy intense relationship is dumb to me like it took him centuries to fucking get over Lysandra and then moving on to Faye and I'm expected to belive the Hear Me Out posts about why Kratos would be in a long term relationship with.... Heimdall? The guy who is a complete prick to giants? Who actively said misogynistic shit about Atreus' mom who Kratos still loves with his whole heart? And threatened to actively kill his 14 year old son? Kratos's son? Kratos who has lifelong trauma about his child dying from war? I'm not buying it im sorry. No way you cook it will convince me.

In the early points of the ships existence honestly felt to me like people who were into Heimdall just wanted to explore a crutch for brat breaking. But its just genuinley not something I'm into. I'm a firm believer of ship and let ship as long as its harmless and for the most part it is! It's people having fun but it's not for me and never, ever ever will be no matter what and there is a reason I don't talk about it on this blog.

I've been in this fandom a long time and let me say Kratos x Heimdall reminds me a lot of when GoW3 came out and people started shipping and writing tons of Kratos x Hermes dubcon stuff for the sole reason of yaoi fujoshi people wanted to fetishize the gay male power dynamic. Its like I honestly feel some people see a big muscular man and a smaller effeminate man and are like "oh I need to make one a submissive girl" like again I know its just words and pictures on a screen but I have been here long enough to be Very Tired of seeing my sexuality get used as a fetish tool sjshskdnks

And. And ill be honest. And this is petty and trust me this is literally just me and my opinion but I cannot fucking stress how utterly confused and flabbergasted because FREYR IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. HE IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. BLATANTLY INTO KRATOS, A COMPLETE KIND SWEETHEART FULL OF LOVE, EXACTLY THE KIND OF GUY THAT WOULD SHOW KRATOS A GOOD TIME AND HAS AN ADORABLE ONSCREEN DYNAMIC THAT DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO BE AU'd OR CHANGED TO MAKE SENSE AND THIS FANDOM DOES NOTHING WITH IT. I see so many AUs where Heimdall survives to get with Kratos and valid but you know what??? I am gonna be angry, WHERE ARE MY FREYR LIVES AUs. WHERE ARE MY AUs WHERE FREYR LIVES AND GETS KRATOS ASCENDED ON THAT VANAHEIM ZA???????

LIKE FORREAL. I honestly feel like this fandom gets so blindsided by Heimdall and wanting to put him in situations and hell I'm guilty of it too, but I have genuinley met GoW Heimdall likers that straight up forgot Freyr existed and it shocks me. I don't get it!!!!!!

Theres a reason I ship Heimdall x Hermes together and its because their individual dynamics are so unbelievably compatible and I like to explore that. But I get people wanting something more realistic in universe as a muse. When it does come to shipping Heimdall with someone else in canon that makes absolute dynamic sense to me, I gotta be honest, Heimdall x Gná is the only "heimdall gets a dom" pairing that I can realistically get behind. Since they both would actually like each other despite being hated by all their peers for their devotion to Odin. Is it healthy? No, but Kradall isn't exactly peaches and cream either. So we work with what we got babey!!!!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

I'm Sorry, What The WHAT Was That Twist?

Ok, so I know I said I bogged down with the witches last book and that the pacing was a little off. Those were NOT problems with this book! The pacing was good, the twists were interesting, and honestly Aelin has sheer chaos energy married to extreme competence in a combination that I am just enjoying the hell out of. I have...thoughts about how the witches are being handled and some of the underpinning themes in their storylines, but we'll get there. Overall, this was a fun read, so let's talk Queen of Shadows.

This is both your SPOILER WARNING and CONTENT WARNING. I'm going to spoil this book. A lot. I'm also going to discuss topics including forced pregnancy, stillbirth, gender essentialism, and abuse of mothers who have stillbirths.

So...the big twist. The thing with the King of Adarlan and Perrington. Perrington, who has been largely absent for two books now. I'm fine with Erawan being secretly in play with whole time, but for the King of Adarlan to have gone full anti-magic fascist out of an attempt to protect Dorian and Rifthold because he is the only one who knows about Erawan...I was not amused. This is likely a "your mileage may vary" thing, but after four books of the King of Adarlan being the big baddie, I was legitimately irked that he went out like a punk trying to tell Aelin that he was a secret good guy.

Now the "destroy the glass castle" setpeice was overall EXCELLENT and I appreciated the teamwork and sheer badassery. I also appreciated how protective Aelin is of Dorian in the aftermath, because our poor boy spent a rough book being possessed by a Valg prince. She gave him cover, time, and at least a tenuous amount of order in Rifthold. And the heartbreaker is that she has some idea of what he's going through on multiple levels. She knows what it's like to be possessed by a Valg Prince, she knows what it is to have her home and parent killed, and she knows what it is to have responsibility thrust upon her. She's so, so soft with Dorian. Real big sister vibes that I adore. Especially since she has spent most of the book going "murdering him is a kindness."

All of that was wonderful, and I even like the reveal that our heroes are behind the curve with the bad guys in play. But the whole "Duke Perrington is Erawan" felt...like SJM wrote herself into a corner with the King of Adarlan and had to pivot and Perrington made the most sense. And it just didn't land for me. But let's talk about our protagonists for a while.

I don't have much beyond sitting with a delighted smile on my face as Aelin Chaos Energies her way through rescuing Aedion, setting up and murdering Arrobyn, getting herself funding for an army for Terrasen, and rescuing Dorian/bringing down the King of Adarlan. Literally I never do not enjoy Aelin being herself and kicking unreal amounts of ass. I also enjoyed her taking moments out of all of those jobs to absolutely rattle Rowan. Mostly because it's very fun to watch Mr. Cool as a Fae Cucumber absolutely lose his shit mid-mission because Aelin isn't wearing any underwear.

Also really interesting to watch are Aelin's dynamics with Chaol and Aedion. She and Aedion squabble like siblings in the best way possible, and she and Chaol have a lot of bitterness that colors their interactions in ways that neither necessarily MEANS, but are nonetheless there. It really makes their relationship prickly despite their best efforts and adds a level of difficulty to their relationship that feels really natural. I'm...perhaps not thrilled with Chaol getting pseudo paralyzed and having to go off on a healing mission, but I'm willing to give that the benefit of the doubt because I haven't read that book yet and maybe we don't slide hard into bad disability tropes.

Aelin getting some closure on the Arrobyn stuff was also excellent, and it introduced us to Lysandra, who is an absolute TREAT and I adore her. I'm also fairly sure she and Aedion are going to be an item at some point, and I am HELLA here for that. Those two are adorable.

Now, as for our witches. I'm going to start with Dorian and Manon because as an internet denizen, I had seen "I'll bleed whatever color you want me to" in memes before, but I kind of assumed it would be more romantic in context. While yes, it did happen in the context of some tentative, exploratory flirting, I...would not call it romantic. Dorian isn't even sure how to exist as himself at the moment, so he's falling back on the flirty thing he's been doing forever. Now, he and Manon had undeniable sparks. I was here for it. But that was the weirdest, most tense flirting I have ever seen. And I wanted to see more without the Valg Prince getting involved and hissing at the witch like an angry cat. Because Manon unlearning the "no feelings" thing that her matron and the rest of the witches have going on is an interesting arc.

What I was absolutely disappointed in was Asterin's backstory. When the witches went hard in on "Witchlings are the next best thing to sacred and must be protected at all costs," I was here for it. We protect kids and ensure they get the chance to grow up. And then they absolutely went full on psycho about it. The way the Blackbeak Matron treated Asterin after what reads like a no-fault stillbirth is absolutely hideous and it stops being "we protect kids and the people who can have them" and becomes weirdly gender essentialist in that "we must punish the useless non-breeders" way that is so toxic and weirdly prevalent in American conservatism. And y'know...I get that that's an easy way to go "Look, Grandma Blackbeak is evil!" but I am so tired of being able to successfully give birth being the measure of a "successful" woman. And I don't think we necessarily needed Asterin to have a traumatic birth backstory to hammer home to Manon that letting Perrington and whosehisface Elide's uncle forcibly impregnate witches--even Yellowlegs--was deeply deeply uncool. Especially when OF COURSE it was never going to be just as simple as "let us put pebbles under your skin" and Elide herself finds out how bad it actually is.

Manon absolutely needed to be called on the carpet for letting that fly, but it could have been about empathy and autonomy, not about forced pregnancy and gender essentialism. Which like...it's an easy way to go "Grandma Blackbeak and Perrington BAD," but we could have gone another way and still gotten there.

That said, I did really love Manon losing control over her 13 because they were all on the same page about Manon not turning into her grandmother. And I loved that Asterin and Sorrel were negotiating their roles and relationships with Manon to get her to a place where she could hear "Girl, this is wildly uncool and we can't stand behind you on this" without getting too murdery. Those dynamics were a lot of fun to watch.

Manon and Elide was...a weird dynamic though. Elide felt a little underwritten and underused this book, and I hope in the next few we develop that a bit, especially given Aelin's relationship with her mother.

I also want to just...take a sec to talk about Kaltain. Because DAMN she got a raw deal for basically just being a petty bitch and gold digger. The self-immolating to destroy the base was a weird combination of badass and tragic. It was a good way to keep the wyrdkey in play and away from Perawan. However, in a context where the bad guys are treating women as annoyingly autonomous reproductive machines, blowing it up instead of trying to liberate it irked me because we didn't have confirmation that the Yellowlegs witches were beyond saving. Or anyone else in there who might be a victim. There's a "better off dead vibe" with that that I don't love.

I know I seem to be taking a lot of issues with this, but I really did enjoy the book. The character dynamics are largely well done, and the plot stuff was FUN. I'm psyched for the next book, and I can't wait to see what Aelin and Manon get up to next.

[acourtofquestions]

Favorite character from Throne of Glass so far? And try to guess mine 😜

Ooh, a good question! One that I actually have an answer to; despite the fact my answer really is all of them😂 (well all minus the obvious ones your NOT supposed to like; Arobynn, Maeve, Rourke Farran, the Blackbeak Matron, etc.) and while I am going to try & self-edit (something I’m terrible at, as any glance at my blog will show😂) the easiest explanation I have is probably this:

I will always utterly adore Fleetfoot like no other. Same with Abraxos. And Elide (who I seem to be in agreement with the characters; we would die for that cinnamon roll😂)

Fenrys snuck up on me & I’m still figuring it out, but I think he’s funny, and very charismatic/compassionate.

Asterin Blackbeak has really grown to have such a joy-filled place in my heart. & I really enjoy the 13’s dynamic & badassery. So, of course Manon is on there too (from the first introduction when I was like… she’s killing people… but somehow I like her? To now being the child of peace, the hope & heart of the “heartless”).

Aedion (despite our occasional moments of a tiff) I love the way he loves. Dorian (I don’t think we share an opinion on this one, which is totally okay) I just really appreciate his mind! Chaol was for a while then the opposite, right now I think I’m positive neutral-ish? … I can pretty much always find things to love in main/side/random characters.

And don’t get me started on Sam Cortland… that man… always beloved😭

Lysandra Ennar (despite that EoS plotted ending lol😅😅) I love her, I love the way she loves her found family, I love her sisterhood with Evangeline (esp. dear to me in my own life), & I appreciate the way her trauma is NOT her entire story.

Rowan Whitethorn (who funny enough was NOT a favorite for a while; twas a rough start but once I loved him, (& will never) not love him).

And now dwindled down to the answer of all answers, beyond even this series or Maasverse (of all fandoms this & she have become an all-time fav) Aelin Galathynius; I almost can’t explain it & would just say READ 8 BOOKS & you’ll get it😂 she’s such an arc & fleshed out character, a kind I don’t see often (especially in powerful female character personalities when a main character or any role for that matter) she makes sense to me, there’s a lot beyond the surface, she & that have meant a lot to me in my own life/trauma/grief & (much like the MANY characters that fall for her for this same reason) she's just something else; wild, fiery, witty & hilarious, impossibly smart, sharp but king, empathetic/understanding & compassionate, fiery yet controlled, deep-feeling & loving, bold & somehow joyful, brave (even if afraid), & very much the force of life & humanity & falling in love with living. She’s the (fire) heart of the story for a good reason.

Now, as far as your favorite goes THAT'S is a very good question (one that I will also leave in your ask box in case it’s easier; whichever works best for you whether here or there :-) is it cheating to have glanced at your blog previously?😂 … okay, so, I’m going to guess based on that & conversations plus general vibes Manon, Rowan, or Aelin. Less so the latter, esp. as I think it just vibes a little more (idk why… total guess here😂😝)? I definitely think your questions/thoughts are very well-put & intelligently written, plus fun & kind… so I’m leaning towards Rowan more so because of the amount of heart & “a dreamer's heart” he does have? We’ll see, regardless I have no doubt it’s a great one & can’t wait to hear it😆 so, thanks SO much for the double fun ask!!😊🫶

[ohanthonytomallamadingdong]

Updates from chapters 20-23 of QoS:

LOVE THAT ELIDE HAS A FERAL SIDE

i adore characters that are 🌸💐🌻 but as soon as u actually see in their mind it’s just a bit ⛓️☠️🔪

ahem what is so intimidating about a tiny woman who can’t even run that they had to put her in a prison wagon and lock her in a tower??? does this has something to do w her witch blood???????

obsessed with her owning her rightful title

ABRAXOS BEING A SOFT-HEARTED WORM

Elide and ABRAXOS bonding over their shared trauma and being seen as weaker than others because of their size/injuries and also being Manon’s chosen babies,,,, im predicting Manon actually having a soft spot for broken things and basically:

as much as i don’t wanna admit Dorian might be gone either, Nesryn has a POINT CHAOL YOU STUBBORN ASS

also very much loving the characterization we’re getting for Nesryn im in love with her (if u see a pattern of me falling for strong female warrior characters who could/would kill me no u don’t)

👀👀👀👀👀👀????????????!!!?!?!???!!!!!?????ROWAN???!!!!!!!??!?!

I didn’t cry at this 🥺

SO IN SUMMARY:

- Elide is smol bean but also maybe danger bean?

- Manon STILL out here reaffirming my love of killer warrior women

- Chaol still being a LIL BITCH who needs to get his SHIT together

- the cousin dynamic is making me soft n sad n happy all at once

- im so glad Aelin finally has someone in her corner who isn’t judging her for her past and just loves her for her and understands that she didn’t want to become this or do these things she’s just desperate to survive and save her people

- also really happy Lysandra appears to also be that person for Aelin so I see her and Aedion getting on well

- looking forward to Arobynn’s inevitable slow painful death

[ao3feed-drastoria]

Black Ascension Dark Descent

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/qCXVIu9 by Meadhbh123 A century changes everything and nothing at all in the noble and most ancient house of Black. An in-depth, inside exploration of the workings, dynamics, and political machinations of the Black Family from the night that Phineas Black, second son of Phineas Nigellus Black, headmaster of Hogwarts, is disowned in 1896 to the immediate aftermath of the second wizarding war when all that remains of a fractured family is a long line of graves for people too young to die, various members with intense dislike for each other, and very few members from a legitimate, pure line of the family. "You're little so you don't understand," "How could you possibly understand, you're still so young," Words spoken decades apart, but which haunt members of the Black family. "In this family we don't tolerate mud," "You're leaving us, for a mudblood?" Words spoken decades apart, that have echoed in every generation with the very utterance of the family motto "toujours pur". Words: 1033, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Phineas Nigellus Black, Sirius Black II | Hesper Gamp Black's Husband, Phineas Black II | Phineas Nigellus Black's Son, Cygnus Black II | Violetta Bulstrode Black's Husband, Belvina Black Burke, Arcturus Black II | Arthur Weasley's Grandfather, Hesper Gamp Black, Violetta Bulstrode Black, Herbert Burke, Lysandra Yaxley Black, Arcturus Black III | Sirius Black's Grandfather, Lycoris Black | Daughter of Hester Gamp Black, Regulus Black I | Hesper Gamp Black's Son, Melania Macmillan Black, Pollux Black, Cassiopeia Black, Marius Black, Dorea Black Potter, Irma Crabbe Black, Charlus Potter, Callidora Black Longbottom, Cedrella Black Weasley, Charis Black Crouch, Harfang Longbottom, Septimus Weasley, Caspar Crouch, Lucretia Black Prewett, Orion Black, Ignatius Prewett, Walburga Black, Alphard Black, Cygnus Black III | Walburga Black's Brother, Sirius Black, Regulus Black, Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Andromeda Black Tonks, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Rodolphus Lestrange, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Ted Tonks, Lucius Malfoy, Nymphadora Tonks, Draco Malfoy, Delphi (Harry Potter), Remus Lupin, Astoria Greengrass, Teddy Lupin Relationships: Hesper Gamp Black/Sirius Black II | Hesper Gamp Black's Husband, Cygnus Black II | Violetta Bulstrode Black's Husband/Violetta Bulstrode Black, Belvina Black Burke/Herbert Burke, Arcturus Black II | Arthur Weasley's Grandfather/Lysandra Yaxley Black, Arcturus Black III | Sirius Black's Grandfather/Melania Macmillan Black, Irma Crabbe Black/Pollux Black, Charlus Potter/Dorea Black Potter, Callidora Black Longbottom/Harfang Longbottom, Cedrella Black Weasley/Septimus Weasley, Caspar Crouch/Charis Black Crouch, Ignatius Prewett/Lucretia Black Prewett, Orion Black/Walburga Black, Cygnus Black III | Walburga Black's Brother/Druella Rosier Black, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Voldemort, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/qCXVIu9

[tothestarsinvelaris]

(please no spoilers if interacting w/ this post. i have somehow avoided all TOG spoilers and know nothing more than the lil blurb on the back of the book and what i have read so far. thx <3)

{finished chapter 36 in Empire of Storms}

{chaotic, live reading, rambling spoilers below}

HOLY SHIT!!!! WTF!!?!??!?? AELIN - GIRL! !! SILVER FLAMES?! A LITERAL GODDESS TOOK OVER?!?? the way she took back over to save Rowan hoolllyyyy shit omg I can't believe that man jumped in front of her fire. She took all his magic!??!?!?? give it BACK?! you're still fighting in the OCEAN1??!

Fenrys saving her in the water after she blows up the damn ship?! Him saying "I've got you" and keeping her head above the water?! and he can like winnow(?!). and how he instantly tells her that Rowan is safe and where he is ughhhhh!

Rowan holding his arm out for her even though he's 30 yards away - stopppppp!! my hearttt!! (actually tho this book is stopping my heart i swear)

Fucking hell, the way Fenrys and Gavriel save Aelin!! How they have all this weird dynamic with Rowan bc of their histories, but they know and can sense how strong the bond is between Rowan and Aelin and they're like technically allies rn and ugh just idk there is something about when those lines blur and the kinda grey characters save the protagonist - especially if its the LI of someone they have history with oooooooh man. what is that trope bc I am eating.it.up!!

Lysandra!!! uashfdlk!!!! GIRL RUN SWIM!!!!

I can't even form full sentences to process what I'm reading rn... so much is happening in this damn book!!

I am so scared for like everyone in these damn books... there are too many characters and I fear that someone isn't going to make it out alive..... (please not my faves tho...(they're all my faves D:))

[nikethestatue]

I know this is a controversial take but Aelin and Aedion's relationship and Bryce and Ruhn's familial relationships are worse than the ones the Archeron sisters ever had . Why did Aelin think it was okay to do what she and Lysandra did to Aedion in the last book knowing what he went through ? And why did Bryce think it was smart to stop speaking to her brother for years for something that wasn't that huge of a deal ? .

The Archeron sisters grew up with two toxic parents who never encouraged love and support between them so atleast they have that excuse Then there's the other two relationships:

Aelin and Aedion didn't know each other for long but they were never pit against each other as competitors and both of them seemed to love each other .So Aelin doing what she did in the last book ruined much for me .

Bryce was raised in a very healthy family with supportive parents , so she never faced difficult familial relationships other than her birth father ( who she barely saw) so her not speaking to him for years after finding out something that was never THAT big of a deal dissapointed me . Then there's HOFAS where she didn't even seem to truly care that he was tor**red .

I think this is a great example of another thing that SJM loves doing and doing badly. Like the way she LOVES giving everyone heaps of trauma and then just offering some breathing exercises and dick therapy as a 'cure', so she does the same with familiar relationships.

those are the two things she CANNOT write. She can't write complex family dynamics and when she starts, she quickly abandons it because it's not really what she wants to deal with. She wants to write love stories and adventures and smut.

SO yeah, especially when it comes to Aelin, Aedion and Lysandra--it was so messy and nasty. And I don't want to spoil the ending between those three, but come on.

Most of life in one's family isn't grand gestures and saving lives and stopping time. It's trying to communicate, trying not to be cruel, trying to navigate people's feelings and thoughts. But that's a more complicated writing than just slapping some magic stuff together.

[salmonpiffy]

What are your opinions and thoughts on Lysandra from GOW??? How do you think her and Kratos's dynamic were??? Any ideas on how they met???

I like her! I think she was a sweet and strong woman. Sad that she doesn't have much role in the old game's story tho

Her and Kratos's dynamic, for me they're a bit similar to Faye and Kratos like...Strong husband & Strong/sweet wife dynamic! But he was not afraid to show affection to both Lysandra and Calliope

About how they met... I don't have much headcanon or details on how they meet but I think they're definitely "love at first sight" and Kratos is the one who tried to flirt her XDDD