#//ive been thinking how to respond to this all day

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 15

part 1, prev part

note: yeah, this one's going to hurt

Dustin takes a few days before returning to the hospital again. Not because he fully wants to. His mom has been too busy to drive him and Steve’s not really available either. Between work and a period of really bad migraines, Dustin hasn’t wanted to bother him. Which is new to him, but they both could use the break.

This time off has actually helped him some. He’s focusing a bit more on school. Getting assignments done on time and paying more attention in his classes. He’s been able to sleep a little better. Can almost get through the night without waking up in a cold sweat.

It’s been better. So Dustin decides to go visit Eddie again.

Steve’s walking next to him, now up to visiting Eddie. Finally, over whatever was keeping him from even thinking of going into the hospital room unless he needed to. Dustin’s glad, it’s been helping him.

There’s a nurse asking Eddie some questions when they enter. And he’s responding. With words. Not just grunts or blinks. But actual words. Dusitn almost can’t believe it.

“What year is it?” the nurse asks.

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Nineteen,” another breath, “eighty-six.” His voice is scratchy and dry.

“Great,” she marks something on her chart.

Dustin takes his seat next to Wayne, looking hopeful.

“What day of the week is it?”

Eddie closes his eyes, as if he’s trying to pull the memories from his mind. He shakes his head. Looking tired and agitated. The nurse marks another thing on her chart.

Dustin looks to Wayne, the joy in his face falling when he sees the anguish in Wayne’s eyes. There’s something more to this. Something’s wrong.

“Can you tell me what happened right before you came in here, Eddie?”

Dustin freezes and sees Steve tense out of the corner of his eye. Both of them looking to Eddie to see what he says. Knowing that he can’t say what happened. Knowing that he technically could. The NDA waiting for him is left unsigned.

Eddie huffs out a breath, struggling to inhale another one. Starting to peel off the bandages around his IV’s. Struggling, trying to sit up.

“Ed,” Wayne leans forward, trying to reason with him. “We talked about this yesterday. You can’t take those things off. They’re keepin’ you alive, son.”

Yesterday. This isn’t the first time. Eddie’s been more awake for at least a day and no one told him.

Dustin glances at Steve, seeing a mix of emotions on his face. Pain, worry, fear. A deep, rich sadness. Like he knows the words Eddie is going to say next. Knows how terrible they are.

“Fuck you,” Eddie exhales. The look in his eyes both blank and full of anger. He continues to pick at the bandage, succeeding in getting it off.

Wayne grabs Eddie’s wrist, pulling it away from his IV. “I know you don’t mean that.”

“Fuck,” breathe, “you.” The anger doesn’t leave Eddie’s face. Terrifying in how much is translated with how little is expressed. The tiredness holding his muscles back from properly emoting. Yet perfectly getting the point across.

Steve leans down to whisper in Dustin’s ear. “Maybe we should leave. Come back later.”

Eddie’s head lifts when he finally registers Steve and Dustin’s presence. A new flicker of something comes to his face. Just to melt off again. Back to the resting ghost that’s taken over.

“Out,” he snaps. Pushing his arm into the air and pointing at Steve. “Out.”

“I think it’s best you both leave,” the nurse interjects. Trying to hold the IV in Eddie’s arm as he continues to pull.

Normally, Dusitn would protest. Say that he needs to be here. That it would make things better. But it’s only a matter of time until the anger turns on him. He’s not sure he could take that.

Wayne has to pry Eddie’s hand away from the IV again, holding it close to the bar. Just like another cuff. Eddie’s using all of his strength to try and wrench it away. But he’s weak. Falls into the pillows breathless. Exhausted.

Tears start to form in his eyes as his face scrunches up. A soundless sob releasing from his throat. He tries to fight the nurse while she’s reapplying the bandage around his IV. Finally giving up.

Eddie opens his eyes again, finally looking at Dustin. Taking one more giant breath before saying the first thing to him since he died. Tears painting down his face. Pain indented in his eyes.

“Leave,” he whispers. Pleads.

Dustin stands and leaves the room, only making a few steps before his own sob breaks free. There was no look of recognition in Eddie’s eyes. No spark when he saw Dustin. Nothing to give him any solace that Eddie knew who he was. Knew what Dustin meant to him. Knew what happened in those last moments. As Eddie’s body crumbled in Dustin arms.

He remembered none of it. But it remembered him.

Steve pulls Dustin away from the hallway. Wraps his arms around him, holding the pieces as they fall. As the hope Dustin foolishly held shatters. He thought waking up meant Eddie was getting better.

He now sees how wrong that idea was.

They sit silently next to each other in the waiting room. Dustin’s tears drying on his cheeks. Steve not knowing what to say, so just not saying anything at all. It’s deafening.

Wayne finds them after some time. Sits across from them. Silent, until he clears his throat. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Dustin wants to respond. Ask what happened in the days he wasn’t here. But his mouth can’t seem to open for the words to form.

“Eddie,” Wayne continues. “Eddie’s goin’ through a bit of amnesia after fully waking up. It’s making him angry, and he’s fightin’ just because of the pain. It’s nothing against you.”

Dustin wasn’t in the room when Will was possessed by the Mind Flayer. He’s only heard the stories from Mike. How Will didn’t remember him that much. Could barely remember his own mom. How the monster took the memories and hid them away. Smothered them. Sequestered Will in his own mind.

Eddie wasn’t controlled by the Mind Flayer. Or anything from the Upside Down. Dustin had given El a picture of Eddie and asked her to see if he was the only one in there. That there was nothing lingering in the depths of his mind that would take him away.

It apparently didn’t need monsters to do that. Sometimes life did that for them.

“Do they know when, if, the amnesia will go away?” Steve asks. Dustin still speechless.

Wayne shakes his head, fighting the mist in his eyes. “Could be days, could be weeks. Won’t know until he’s more conscious. He’s still in and out of sleep, probably won’t be up again till tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Dustin can only hope that Eddie remembers him tomorrow.

tag list, let me know if you want to be added or removed: @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

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@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

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@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

[toniiswrld]

Oh also ur taking requests? :0 hmmmm

Idk why but the thought of sohee just saying whatever tf is on his mind during sex is an idea that haunts me so bad because I like when dudes are so pussydrunk they just can’t shut the fuck up. I deeply and carnally yearn for more fics of like established relationship sohee who is so comfortable with you that one day he just starts talking and he doesn’t even realize how bad he’s running his mouth nor is he aware of the effect his words and tone are having on u like…asking u how it feels, cooing at u when u can’t even respond with words, praising you for feeling good just for him,, saying things that imply the faintest hint of possessiveness by calling u things like his pretty girl or when he sees how wet you are, asking “this all because of me?” (Like no shit sohee omg pleek) the moment is slow but sensual and bursting with tension. Him eating u out and fingering u slow at first but once ur about to cum, forces u to look in his eyes while you basically ride his face. his steady hand intertwined with your shaky one. (I’m insane I need him so bad ANYWAYS) bet he talks you thru ur orgasm, telling u to cum for him and make a mess all over his face cus he needs that shit. He wants to stay down there forever but u want him in ur WALLS so he starts fucking you slow as hell in missionary w one of ur legs over his shoulder and he’s just hitting it so DEEEEP it’s like u can feel every damn ridge and twitch of his dick and u feel insane. Never takes ur eyes off yours, and anytime u try to break contact he lightly grabs ur jaw and kisses you so tenderly but so fucking sloppy and nasty. Teases you a bit by saying shit like “I know baby, I know, it feels good right?” “Only I can get you like this, right?” And you can’t even respond to him cus he slowly reorganizing ur organs so all you can do is whine about it while keeping your eyes on his. Mentions how much of a mess you’re making of urself and of him. I think it’s probably turn him on to just hear how wet you are without even seeing how wet you are. Probably puts his fingers in your mouth to fuck ur throat with them just cus he wants to make u more of a mess.

God I’m so normal about him I swear. Does this even count as a request LMFAOOOOOOOOOO when I have sohee thoughts I just get possessed and started typing in ur inbox 😭😭. All I know is is that I need that man to match my FWEEEEEAK like IMMEDIATELY (starts rocking back and forth in. The corner of my bedroom)

But pls go crazy go stupid with this idea if u want to hehe

— 🍓

ngl ive been gatekeeping this it is so good. you really cooked here.

sohee is such a yapper. in and out of the bedroom he just cant shut the fuck up. but once he gets a feel of you it gets even worse. he’s so lost in his own pleasure and wants to make sure you feel as good as he does. he doesn’t realize how much he’s talking, sometimes he thinks he’s talking in his head until you’re responding with choked moanes. when he’s close to cumming it gets worse, he’s just babbling about anything. also i think he loves praise and reassurance, so he’s doing his best to please you and constantly asking you how it feels. he doesn’t even realize how much that turns you on since he’s just waiting for your approval.

i don’t even have anything to add cuz this is so good 😭 your mind is so good

[kiwibirdlafayette]

on your Aitheaca au, when I was writing I was trying to imply that what was stolen was Capsize, but in my want to be vague I know I didn’t do a good job. Like my train of thought was that Ianite was, to a lesser extent, sensing Capsize in a similar vein to how she was sensing ‘Dianite’ when it was actually Tom, if that makes sense. I interpreted this version of Ianite as a goddess who despises not knowing, seeing it as a weakness in herself, so when she senses something that is “hers” but unrecognizable to her, she lies to Flash.

also! thinking about crew dynamics is interesting, cause depending on how you split them up you are almost always stuck with an instigator and an arbiter. The way you’ve split them up rn, Sonja and Tom are instigators (more Tom leaning than anything) and Spark’s the arbiter. Martha’s the arbiter while the other two are instigators. But this fluctuates depending on who’s in the room. Essentially, there’s always going to be a high chance for issues caused inside the group and out.

OH!!! Listen listen liSTENNNN do not say you didnt do didnt do a good job you did an excellent job, there aint nothin wrong with the choice to be vague with it I just dont catch onto things very well xD I really love that idea a ton, I totes agree that she would be able to pick up on Capsize's Ianitian quintessence (the ownership thing I feel could have ties to Capsize's connection to Ianite in the S1 world leaning on the side of being a messenger rather than the champion kind of cues that Jordan would carry if that makes any sense) and also what ya had mentioned on AO3 too, about Jordan's quintessence having ticks of World Historians in him as well that would obscure things a little makes a ton of sense as well and bangs :D

and yeah!!! Aitheaca Ianite is absolutely someone who is hellbent on being an 'all-knowing' for the sake of ultimate balance, where her logic is that if she can control everything, that's how she can guarantee that chaos or order doesnt have an opportunity to rise up- and is the principle on which her reign was founded on. I can imagine this brings her into conflict with the notion of the Watchers (who inherently possess this ability, while she has to rely on her intuitive judgement and using visual conduits/spies, like taking control of Flash) which is why I could maybe imagine she'd want to keep these kinds of things from Flash. She's very much aware of Merina's presence around her champion, and holds resentment that she can't have Merina as her spy and that under the right theoretical circumstance, could break Flash free of her manipulation at any given moment due to her having a higher form of omnipotence (all this being said, Merina is a lower level watcher and isn't at the level of possessing godly foresight that Ianite seems to think she has) I very much want it to feel like a psychological game that Ianite plays with her subordinates that she would only want Flash to believe and be aware of certain things while lying about things like weakness or potential flaw

And crew dynamics!! yessahh the instigator-arbiter combo was absolutely intentional >:] For the sake of chaos (dianitee moment) but also while it would be so easy to just pair them off in travelling groups as syndisparklez/foxxsize or embersduo/zombiecaptains it makes for more interesting writing for them to be split up with the person they had the rockiest history with + a Ruxomarian who does not want to be stuck there (in some random reality across the multiverse) to begin with. In a way the thought process is the "get along or fucking die" premise especially when they start encountering like Flash but like ya said it really is a lot of infighting xD in the Martha led group the dynamic centers around 3 Ianitees all holding some kind of reasonable resentment towards one another (though they can bond over seein their goddess/mom in such a different light and how thats affecting them; like Martha especially not having seen much of Ia in Ruxomar and while she spent time with S1 Ia, I can imagine how jarring it is to run into a universe where your mom is a corrupt deity) And then the Spark led group is just a mess, because Tom and Sonja are both massive instigators in their own way and while they can get into some absolutely unhinged shenanigans as a duo a rift was absolutely torn between them post-S2/Isles era that they become prone to not be willing to go back on their opinions of something and hear the other out. Spark hasnt spent a lot of time with either of them so its hard to take on anything but a methodology of compromise which neither of them want to really entertain- When the four are together the banter can feel a little friendlier because deep down they do all care for one another, they just have a hard time expressing it

In terms of the other instigator duos with Spark n Martha (speaking of, I have a scene with them two and Sonja, which has been funky to ponder on when they encounter Mianite for the first time) its kinda just chaos. Chaos like when you put two besties together xD

[lunar-fey]

:( i was so close to finally getting my sleep schedule fixed but for some reason my alarm didnt fucking go off so i slept a full 8 hours instead of taking a 3 hour nap. i was supposed to to to bed in like. 5 hours. not gonna happen now 😔

[s0fter-sin]

i’ve tried so many energy drinks in the last week and i did not expect monster to be the one that tastes best

[todayisafridaynight]

SO!

Pretty good show honestly. I think it may perhaps come off a little underwhelming compared to last time because they released the full trailers early, so it was chiefly just talking, but I was still pleased.

The only thing I really wanted out of it was one (1) of my predictions coming true and one (1) surprise, and well, between the Watase Family and Nishitani...... THREE!!!!!, that's exactly what I got. Kiryu looking up at the sky like he's struggling to remember who he (allegedly) proposed to is hilarious though same energy as Jo not remembering Ikumi's name ghdshgkdhf the exchange kind of reminded me of Ichi talking to Arakawa as well... the "don't say it in the past tense" one you know the one...

Also next summit in September so that'll be a lovely birthday present :) For Me :)

Also x2 I love seeing which of my asks you decide to reblog. Whether it's because of the actual ask or because of my commentary it always feels like a win (<- normal to want and possible to achieve)

even if Considerably underwhelming, what information's been given IS causin a lotta buzz right now so !!! pretty successful summit in some regards ( ❁´◡`❁;;)

i just wish we got to see LAD8 gameplay, that's probably the only thing i really wanted but i guess there is still the fall summit (and for your birthday's sake i hope it's a real banger one)!

[pepprs]

also like to clarify.. we were not expecting her to leave. and any time she would have left would’ve been bad timing but it’s like.. this was HER program and we didn’t have enough time to really get to know it as well as she did (and still does probably). and there are so many flaws in it that we didn’t have time to address and our attention was spread so thin bc we were / still are juggling a million things and trying to compensate for the vacancy in our already extremely and egregiously small staff. so i get that the leaders may be feeling unsupported and resentful of that and that is very valid. but it’s like.. if that is in fact the case i think it’s important to know that this is not ideal for us either. we lost the person who knew this program inside and out and we still haven’t recovered and even though her position has been filled now (by my new colleague bestie who is AMAZING and has been helpful and supportive and has gone above and beyond in every way and i adore them don’t get me wrong) we may never fully recover from it or at least we won’t for a very long time. and im not even just talking about like the impact on our work. i mean on us as people who were closely psychically bound together. which sounds freakish and weird but we were. that wound is going to take a long time to fully scar and when the scar forms it will always be there. so excuse us for not putting on a perfect asb less than a year after she left us we are kind of seeing the consequences of all of the horrors right now lol.

[lepidopterium]

xx!!!!

[gibbearish]

my mom shared a memory from when i graduated college and her favorite cousin just commented this

lmao not quite

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[readymades2002]

it is very frustrating because my mom does not know What The Deal Is but she certainly Suspects (for good reason. to be fair to her.) and she has Insinuated and she has Implied but she has not asked anything specifically. and its...not unreasonable for her to do this i guess because the last relationship i was in i didn't tell her for a year and a half. because the relationship BEFORE that was my first and it was with a girl and i asked her EXPLICITLY AND URGENTLY to not tell my dad about it because he was a massive homophobe and i knew this and saw this where she did not and she told him anyway and i have not trusted her since though, having few other options, i have continued to confide in her things that i should not confide in her that have then mysteriously made their way through all our shared coworkers back to me. and its.....its so. i don't know what to do about it. she..."stalked" is the wrong word but she followed my blog against my wishes and knowledge as a child and the more i lost trust in her and stopped talking to her the more she pried into my private life. i know my sister had similar experiences with her. and it has created this cycle where i keep trying to keep her out for my own privacy and dignity and safety and she just gets even more desperate and pathetic trying to get in after breaking my trust over and over and OVER again but i live with her and depend on her for far too many things and so it just. is this. awesomesauce

[inmirova]

feels like the universe (trans people I follow on tumblr dot com) is telling me I should get into tf2 again to spite my ex who tried to convince me playing it meant I was apparently cool with white supremacy somehow

[kuroakikitsune]

.

[scarletcomet]

lil rant in tags. trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and that kind of stuff. if you feel like reading it please be aware of pretty detailed descriptions so please be careful. (also don’t worry i’m fine and not actually going to do anything. just needed to get my thoughts out)

[bodyans0ul]

Kind of thinking about what it would be like to have a free-use rape toy wife. I come home from work, and you're having a dinner party with your friends. I open the door and don't even say a word to you or your friends. You ask me how my day was, and I ignore you. Just rushing over to you while you're preparing tea, yanking at your skirt, pulling your panties to the side, and fucking thrusting into you, grunting as I go in hard and raw, you trying to be all civil and polite, muffling some words about your friends being over, like I give a fuck, trying hard not to moan, you struggle and holding onto the table, making eye contact with some of your friends, mouthing out the words I am sorry, As my cock presses into your womb, my fingers being jammed into your mouth, forcing you to choke and gag, your friends sitting around the dinner table trying to awkwardly make small talk with you, you trying your hardest to respond, all while I pound into your tight little cunt, I pull your head back the last few thrusts, pumping cum so deep into your womb, grunting hard as I do so, and pushing you back over the bench after I'm done. It's all over in 5 minutes, fucked and pumped, and left bent over the table, my cum leaking out of you. It takes you a moment to compose yourself, finish the tea service for your friends, and shyly apologise to them, knowing it was completely out of your control.

I head straight to the shower, clean myself up, come back out the hallway your laughing and giggling sitting around the lounge with the girls my cum still stained on your panties, I have a lot of research work do tonight and I am going to take it all out on you, moving slowly towards you grabbing one your friends by the ankle and throwing her off the couch, my hands around your throat, grabbing you off the seat slamming you into the wall, on your knees, I pull out my cock, I am still rock hard and jam it down your throat, you gag and struggle, jaw locking as I skull fuck the shit out of you, bagging your head against the wall, you're friends locking eyes with you still in shock at what they are seeing, no one says a word.

Just awkward silence as I pump down your throat, no easing, no mercy, just hard thrust until you feel my warm, hot load shooting down your throat. I throw a rag at you after. I don't need to say a word to you, cum dribbling down your cheek all this, and you still need to clean up. I head to my study and get to work, coming back in an hour and half or so, two friends are left some are doing the dishes and helping you clean up you're on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor, slowly crawling all over the place, I just move towards you quickly, lifting up your skirt, some of my dried cum from early still spilled over your thighs, you don't stop scrubbing even when you feel the first thrust, I'm never gentle, just a fucking hole to me, just an object I need to cum, my own personal free use fleshlight, we both know it, Ive never asked, I just take you when I want, you know the floor still needs to be cleaned you don't stop trying to crawl away with my cock still deep in your belly hard thrusts, while I lick your back like an animal, ranting off to one of your friends about a girl you don't like, bullshit girl talk I guess, I don't care I pay no attention as I fucking rape you, it never takes me long I cum and go, leaving you to your duty as my fuck toy slave, getting up zipping my pants back up, watching the cum pool from your cunt, It's been a long day, and I'm tired of heading to bed. You crawl a little further before fixing your skirt; my cum stains are all over you, broken deep down inside.

[abby420]

there is something so painful about someone being mean to you when you have been nothing but kind and genuine and good to them