#;elly:royal

[hyunarkarchive]

Law of Total Madness

part; 1 date; 20th january, 2018 location; royal ent’s building, recording studio stats; instrumental

it wasn’t every day that elly decided to stay up till late in royal, or seocho’s building for that matter. she preferred to go back home, make herself a nice drink and watch movies with her two cats laying on top of her as she laid on the couch. she liked that a lot, she was becoming less and less of a workaholic and to understand that life was more than just being stuck in a studio all day everyday a year.

tonight, was different, tonight she was annoyed at herself. for the fact that she let herself slack of so much. she was pissed off more or less, at herself, at the company, at her ceo she had anger issues to vent out, and this time, she didn’t plan on breaking her violin at the back of the building and crying her eyes out before going ho,e to sleep it off.

she’s always made songs that were based off a break up, of being heartbroken by a guy, and lied to and cheated on, she may or may not completely blame minsoo for this, but it was different now. she just wanted to be aggressive and show people what they had missed by leaving her back in the royal basement.

maybe she was going overboard with how she was feeling, but there was this sudden rage she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, considering the fact that she has always been the calm and collected one, the one to always make sure everyone else is okay, but sh really didn’t have anyone to check up on her.

so, she could vent through lyrics and music.it was a nice choice, because she had been writing all the melodramatic lyrics she could thin off, because she felt discouraged by the fact that she wasn’t in the final line up for luxe. elly wasn’t happy with the outcome, for numerous reasons, but she was looking forward to seeing, what is the concept that luxe will have, and she wouldn’t fit. she wanted to know as soon as possible.

she was planning on leaving royal, because she was beginning to be aware that no matter how much she wanted to be an artist, not just an idol, but someone who would be seen as an actual artist and producer, royal wasn’t the place she was supposed to be. hyojin thought she was more stubborn that jieun, a lot more stubborn, a lot louder when it came to things that didn’t sit right with her, but even if she was two times a finalist, she was still no winner. 

and maybe, there was no winning for her under royal.

she really wanted to write a song for the royal boys, and show it so jiseob, after she recorded it with them. a song about wanting to live their life peacefully and enjoying what life brings them instead of  pushing themselves to  fit in some mold they can never fit. she wasn’t sure what their ceo was looking for in his trainees, but elly was more than aware, she didn’t have it. she still doesn’t know why she got an offer when she was in the mga’s, she doesn’t know why she even accepted it.

he should have chosen kangjoon instead, and let her go on with her life, until her next opportunity came. right now, elly wasn’t even sure she would get the opportunity to resign her contract. she wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t just be kicked out and everyone will move on with their lives, just like she will with hers.

however, she had one last plan before the five months finished.

show one song to so jiseob, and it was going to be this one, because she might have been emotional, most of the time on stage, when she got the chance, but now, she was going to be violent. 

that’s how the file got named law of total madness. because she was royal’s crazy dog.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// Two! Three!

@rkbyunbaek​

elly was more than extremely grateful for baekhyun agreeing with this request. 

it wasn’t everyday she would ask for someone to cover the demos she’s done, and it wasn’t everyday someone was willing to stick for a few extra hours in order to record something that could never see the light of day. these were lyrics she had written, probably either tipsy or very drunk, a few nights in a roll straight after she was back from the survival show.

it was just the simplest way she could comfort herself, and maybe others in the future. however, even if the song was saying “when I say one two three forget it”, it wasn’t at all that easy for hyojin and it would probably leave a bitter taste in her mouth for a very long time. shaking those thoughts away, the rapper her chair around in order to face baekhyun, who was stood across from her.

she was holding a few pieces of paper, printed out, so they were neat, and readable, because her writing is usually pretty horrible, and baekhyun could write notes on them if needed.

“again, thank you for agreeing with this.“ she said, smile tugging on her lips as she reached out to hand the lyrics to him before leaning back in the chair and sighing with relieve, her shoulders obviously relaxing. 

“so a bit of a background story to the song. its a song, hoping for more good days. its basically a song that i want people to find comfort in, because everyone has those days or weeks or months or years even, where they need someone by their side to help them get through things.“ as she was talking, she couldn’t help but link her fingers together before resting her hands on her knee, a bit nervously tapping her fingers against each other.

“i’m open for ideas on how to sing some part, so don’t be scared to say anything. i have the soundtrack done, with all of the rapping included. if you feel uncomfortable with something, can’t hit notes i ask you do to, just say, we can work around with it. the last thing i want  you to feel is being forced to do things you can’t do or don’t want to do. teamwork is important.” hyojin finished with a wide smile on her face.

[hyunarkarchive]

Law of Total Madness

part; 3 date; 27st january, 2018 location; royal ent’s building, recording studio stats; rage quit 

she considered herself a very patient person, considering all the stuff she’s had to deal with and the people in her life, elly thought she would be able to just push things on without much issue.

which turned out to be a complete lie, because she had been for a good week almost in the studio, not able to finish the lyrics. this was the fourth time she was rewriting stuff, and it was getting out of hand. this had never happened before, she was usually happy with how the lyrics turned out for the first time and then she just went on with it, but honestly... this song wasn’t allowing her to do that.

so instead she just lifted her feet up to the desk, and stretched herself quite nicely, definitely hearing a few cracks from her back and shoulder. she signed and just stared into the monitor, focusing into the small numbers in the bottom right. 4:47am. she had training in a few minutes and she hasn’t slept all night.

no progress either.

there was then sudden rage she felt rise in her, and she had to restrain herself from kicking the monitor and making it go through the glass behind it into the recording booth.

so instead, she stomped her feet back on the ground before pushing herself toward the desk. where in the most passive aggressive way she signed out of it and shut it down. she picked her back from the floor and tossed it over her shoulder and headed to the changing rooms, slamming the door behind her.

she might as well take a shower to cool down before facing a day off hell.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿ royal survival show, episode 3 required solo 2; performance

live loop station composing&playing the road [ 0:00 - 1:38 ] uptown funk [ 0:27 - 1:08; 1:21 - 2:22 ]

Now, preparation wise, this was hard. She had to get her own loop station and pedals, ask for a guitar that she wasn't going to use that much, three microphones, a keyboard that had extra buttons for pre-recordings possible, tape, her violin and bow, and two tables. Oh yeah, and keyboards very own pedals, not to forget that.

Before she got on stage to perform, Elly had to butt in in order to tape the head mic to the violin, in order to be heard and she had to get the placement of everything right. It was a bit nerve wrecking. She didn't think she was going over board but she was definitely getting there.

When her time arrived, the blonde stood high and proud in front of Jiseob for a few seconds before being given the cue to start. She was somewhat okay, dark circles covered by tons of concealer, colour correction and foundation, but it was okay, coffee fixed everything.

With a smile, she bowed and spoke loud and clear in the hand microphone she had.

"Hello, it's Ahn Elly here. I'll be playing live two covers through a loop station. Please, sit back and enjoy." she said and bowed again, before heading back to her seat.

Squishing these two songs in under three minutes definitely made her feel accomplished, but also, very original. She knew she was going to ace it.

Pressing the pedal to start recording, she instantly began playing the keyboard, after a few seconds, repeating the same steps but with different set of keys, to add a melody. The third layer was finger snaps, just two, exactly the same as she was low on time. The simple melody of the two repeating motives of the piano and the snaps were playing in the background, and Elly reached for her violin and the bow, pressing it snuggly in its correct place and playing that instrument as well. She wasn't paying much attention to the people watching her, her eyes were occasionally darting up at Jiseob, but nothing else. After repeating the same motive with the violin, she recorded another one, and leaned closer to the mic, the bow lowering a bit as she beatboxed a small portion, and pulled back, head slightly nodding to the rhythm. She placed the violin neatly back on the table and leaned into the microphone. Has anyone heard me sing ever before?

Came up. Last time she sang, was when she was in the MGA's. her voice, was anything but flattering at the time. Now, she has more control over it, knows how to breath properly, her emotional technique was better, and on top of all that, she was aware that she had the most unique voice in the whole show and she was planning on using that. She kept her voice low and soft, not trying to go out of the needed notes in order to impress. Elly's fingers were pressed against the edge of the keyboard, but they were steady. Her eyes fell close as she just focused on her singing, hand slowly reaching to grab the guitar by its neck, bringing it up right in her lap and hit the bottom of it twice with her closed palm, before moving further up and hitting it with her open palm, repeating the motion with her foot pressed on the recording peddle.

She was calm as she was repeating the whole motion three times before finally leaving the instrument back on the free table. The rapper's voice was stable and it went on even when she stopped the loop station in order to play the piano live, eyes finally looking up at Jiseob as she played and sang at the same time.

이 길의 끝에서 /If my dreams will come true 내 꿈은 이뤄질까 /At the end of this road

It was an actual question, and she stopped there. Taking a small pause before running her fingers with a wide grin over the keys, completely changing the beat to the song and the mood.

Her foot pressed back against the peddle after that and she began recording the new set of keys on the station, shoulders lightly bouncing to the beat. Leaning backs he picked her violin and pressed it against her chest as if she was holding a ukulele, pretty much using it as one in order to record the strings from it. She was already happy with the way things were turning out and it definitely showed on her features. She then placed the instrument back, foot pressing on the peddle as she recorder her finger snaps and small voice noises. The song was already forming and she was just half way to building it up. Elly added some harmonization with her own voice, keeping it steady in a low pitch, and then a really muted high note, to add that tiny bit of sassiness to it, before the final beatbox like element was added and she lifted her foot off the pedal.

It gave it a nice suspense, and with the first note she sang, she pressed on it and let it play.

Too hot Call the police and the fireman Too hot Make the dragon wanna retire man

She took the perfect opportunity to show just how much she could multitask, how many different talents she had and what she could do.

Too hot Just say my name, You know who I am Too hot And my band 'bout that money

Hyo-jin was definitely willing to have fun with this. Her hand gestures were definitely of a rapper even though she was singing, doing the occasional over dramatic hair flip in a sassy and comic way, or waving at herself at a too hot line. She liked being like this, in situations she's allowed to have her creative freedom.

Break it down!

She yelled in the mic and lifted her foot off the pedal, so she could play the piano yet again, live, without it being recorder. Her right foot, that was working on the loop station was pressing on it so it recorder the drum like sound she managed to create with the piano. Letting it echo through the solo piano.

Girls hit your hallelujah Girls hit your hallelujah Girls hit your hallelujah 'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya

She closed her eyes, her body bouncing ever so slightly to the beat of the music, letting the music sink in. her voice currently was definitely going more on the jazzier side, more soulful than she'd usually sing and her perfect English was definitely a plus to it.

Baby, baby, tell me what you want

With that line she looked back at Jiseob, smile tugging on her lips as if she was singing just to him, even though her body was still moving ever so slightly to the rhythm of her foot.

Baby, baby, yes you know Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya 'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to ya Saturday night and we in the spot

Elly focused a lot on her voice, even if her eyes weren't focused on the keys, and with no sheets of music to work with, she didn't miss a key. She sang her final line

Don't believe me just watch!

She sang into the mic, slowly pulling back to give it an effect and reached for her violin, foot pressing one of the pedals on the loop station to produce one of the beat boxing effects she had recorder. With grin, she did a small violin solo and sang the calumniation ooh part in the mic, raising her voice quickly, her foot finally stepping on the peddle before getting up, making the on the spot created music play all at once under the instrument solo she was performing now and focusing just on the very precious violin in her hands. Slowly and speedily, she walked to in front of the keyboard, taking center stage, still moving closer and close to the edge and she played the violin loud and steadily. The blonde stopped when she was right at the edge.

She was scared, just a bit, that the bow will start snapping in her hand, but it wouldn't be the first or last time she did that. Since the notes she was playing were definitely hard, fast and very specific, Hyo-jin made sure she was paying full attention to her fingers, even if she looked calm and collected while doing it, she was excited and that was definitely adrenaline in her veins. She loved it, wouldn't lie about it.

With the last few dropping notes, the rapper moved her body with them, upper body dropping just a few inches every time along with her knees bending. The last prolonged note, she pulled the bow away from it in a upwards motion, before slowly bringing it down, and into a ninety degrees bow.

She the straightened up, a pleased, yet daring, smile on her lips and her eyed locked on So JiSeob's frame.

If he thought she'd give up easily on the idea of making her own music, he was deadly wrong. He told Jieun, a while back, he had masterminds for making the music under his company, well, Elly was planning on being one of them masterminds.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿ royal survival show, auditioning tape; song; you too by loco, with live piano

this was somewhat nerve wrecking for her, like on a scale of one to ten, it was a three. 

she had changed since the last time she showed up on tv. she changed a lot in her opinion. yes, there were minor glitches here and there, she did diss a whole show, she did flip a middle finger on instagram, she did go out drinking and clubbing a lot in the beginning. but a whole year had passed since she got signed under royal, and hyo-jin learned that he needed to appreciate the fact that so jiseob chose her to give a contract to. she should show he gratefulness at being the best that she can.

holding the camera at a decently flattering angle, she smiled at it. held like that for a few seconds before blinking. “is this even recording?“ she asked, moving her head around, brows furrowing slightly before finally spotting the red light at the corner blinking. “oh it is-“ she couldn’t help but laugh. clearing her throat, she smiled yet again. “hello. my name is ahn elly, i was born in america, compton, california and i’m twenty-three years old. i’m currently a trainee under royal entertainment, and its been a year and three months since i’ve been signed.“ she said with a small nod. the more time she spend doing this the more relaxed she felt, so the nerve wrecking factor dropped to a two.

“i’ll be performing you too by loco-sunbaenim, while playing the piano. i hope yo enjoy.“ elly said with a smile and moved towards the keyboard, in the opposite end of the room. she placed the camera neatly on a table across from her, so it would be able to catch her bot playing the instrument and rapping along with it.

it wasn’t everyday she did a song like this, but she practiced extra hard to make it work. her main goal wasn’t to show how she could multitask well, but to give hope to other people struggling with their dream.

she played the first few notes to get the general idea of the rhythm, before fully going into it, her lips parting straight off the first beat and the lyrics being said out loud.

모를 수밖에 부딪혀 보기 전 까진  you can’t know until you crash into it 철이 없었던 게 득이 될진 몰랐지  i didn’t know my childish days would become a benefit 시작은 반지하  i started in a basement

hyo-jin found it effortlessly doing both things at the same time. her many years learning and teaching the instrument were probably the reason behind it. this song reminded her of when she did the mga’s, the mvp stage mainly. she was never the really emotional type, but she guessed time and events changed her. she wouldn’t be upset if people knew her as the ‘emotional rapper’. it’d be a honor to hear that she was able to touch people through her stages and music.

좀 올라오니 아스팔트 바닥  i remember going up a little  위였던 걸 나는 기억하지 and seeing the asphalt road  날 둘러쌌던 어른들은 나에게  the adults surrounding me said that 그저 모든 게 한때일 뿐이라고 말했지 everything will just come to pass 그들이 잠을 잘 때 내가 깨어있던 시간을 because they called this a waste of time 허송세월이라고 불렀으니까 when i was awake and they were sleeping

these were lyrics she related to a lot, a small smile creeping onto her lips. wasting time, according to people was something she was always good at. wasting those few years of doing medicine, instead of music, now wasting her time with chasing her dream of being on stage instead of perfecting her medical skills. she was wasting time searching for how to become a better her, a her she’d be proud to show to people. to the public, and the company, not just her friends.

근데 넌 결국 내 노랠 듣고 있잖아 but in the end, you’re listening to my song 그들이 말한 허송세월에 and if this is the price i pay 대한 대가가 이런 for what they called “wasting time“ 거라면 너도 마음껏 낭비하길 바래 i hope you’ll waste time all you want too 그 미래에 너의 목소리가 닿길 바래 i hope your voices reaches their futures 

it wasn’t the first time people have heard her rap, elly was aware of that but she wanted to show people she was worth remembering and mainly, show herself that her efforts and sleepless nights were worth it. her personal sacrifices as well. eventually, she looked up from the piano, for a short second, smiling at the camera and continuing with the song, her fingers never missing a beat with how the song was played, and the notes were just bouncing off the walls of the room, creating a nice full effect of the music.

as the chorus began, her voice instantly softened. it didn’t go quieter, but she made it more sing-song and it grew softer. she wasn’t the best singer, her voice was very distinct, but it wasn’t nasally or forced out, it was naturally low and a bit raspy.

누구나 떨리지 처음엔 everyone is scared at first 맞닥뜨린 적 없기에 because you haven’t come face to face with it 확신을 못해 you can’t be sure 나도 마찬가지였네 i was the same way too

the song was coming to an end and elly was okay with it, it was her audition tape. her gaze was focused on the keys in front of her for a few seconds as she sang along before closing them and continuing without a problem for the next few lines.

하지만 이 목소리를 듣고 있다면 but if you’re hearing this voice  무대 위에 나의 모습을 봤다면 if you’ve seen me up on stage 아마도  then, possibly,

she took a small pause, adding a bit more to the effect she was looking for, even though she just had a few more seconds to spare for the one minute limit. 

난 꿈꿔왔던 내가 되어가고 있는 거겠지 im becoming the me i dreamed of 

elly pulled her fingers of the piano and sang the last line, head lightly tipping from side to side. 

너도 상상했던 너가 될 거야 you’re gonna become the you that you’ve imagined too

having just her voice in the room made her shiver by the pure echo. but that was the end of her tape and she was happy with it. she was happy with how it turned out and was happy she was able to portray her emotions, motivations and the dream she was working forward to. pushing herself from the stool, she walked over to the camera and smiled widely.

“stay tuned, for royal’s survival show!“ the rapper said with a wide smile and waved at the camera. 

within the next hour, hyo-jin had the tape on a usb stick. though, she was still nervous about any response, as soon as she handed the device to her rap coach, she told herself, what’s done is done, can’t change anything. and with a smile, the trainee walked out of the studio and back to schedule. 

she could only look forward to the program.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// symptoms

@rkqri​

elly does not really remember the last time she spoke with jihyun and their current situation was just reminding her of the mga’s. it made her wonder if the other was feeling the same way, after all, it was her third survival show, and she was being placed under minor with really harsh comments from their ceo.

it was already getting near lights out time, and elly headed to singer’s solo room. she knocked on the door and opened it once she heard the approval. she was usually a talkative person, but this time she took her time with closing the door, walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge. 

“this brings back memories for me, though, i don’t remember so jiseob being so savage with any of us.“ she said with a laugh and smiled at jihyun. “i came for cuddles, last time we cuddled was on the dance floor before i was even a trainee, i need my coach’s love.“ she joked, the smile still placed on her features as she waited for an answer.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// flower power

@seolhyunrk​​

settling back into the dorms, elly definitely knew there would be mixed feelings. even if there were none on her end, she still went to see seolhyun in her room, knocking on the door and poking her head inside. “i hope im not intruding.“ she said with a small smile before finally going inside and looking around the room.

it was identical to her’s but still, it was with different people as well. instead of sitting down, since she wasn’t sure if she was allowed do, elly just leaned against one of the walls, before sliding down and sitting on the floor.

“how’s it, major?“ she said in a joking manner, lips tugging in a smile as she spoke up again. “what do you think so far about the show?i found it interesting. especially with the major and minors. our ceo really is amazing.“ elly chuckled, reaching up  to run her hands through her hair.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// thrive to survive

@rkjazzeun​

even though elly was placed as a minor, she couldn’t really blame the decision, after the comment so jiseob made about her personality, she was aware that she had messed up.

but!! holly fucking molly jazz got major and she definitely deserved it, so after the whole filming happened, the blonde headed off to the dancer and wrapped her arms around her frame, squeezing her tightly. 

“so, how’s my little star doing?“ she asked, grinning from ear to ear as she was waiting for an answer. this was something elly would always remember about herself, even after she got her contract offered at the mga’s, she still thought that kangjoon deserved it more, and now. with the events and the survival show, she understood that she’d still be happy if her friends did well. 

“you excited about the dance? i saw some of your favorite techniques.“ she grinned, resting her chin lightly on jieun’s shoulder and waiting for a reply. 

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// reflection

@rkleedongminie

it wasn’t rare to see hyo-jin eat with her fellow trainee’s during lunch, her main group of people to annoy were definitely minsoo and bora, but she switched it up every now and then. especially since it was after evals. she got to chill and just wait for the next task to be thrown at them. usually, her first reaction to the evals were, oh yes, more fun, but eventually reality will come in and the oh no, shit will happen. things would get chaotic, especially her first ever eval. she remember breaking a chair and a set of heels.

that’s why she was sitting down with dongmin for the first time since he joined, and he had just had his first ever eval. the blonde was more than just curious to how it had gone. after taking a few more bites of her rice and downing it with a big sip of water, elly’s attention was turned back to dongmin.

“so, did you enjoy your first eval in such a short time?“ she asked, smile tugging on her lips as she waited for an answer. from what she knew, minsoo and kangjoon were with him, so they had either spoiled him, or completely ruined him. she was curious to know which one it was.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// ventilation

@rkkey​​

lately, elly has been not quite herself, but she kept it toned down. she had gotten herself in yet another survival show, she had been working her bum off, her body was aching and so was her brain currently. she was a bit tired as well, and maybe, she was over reacting about the whole situation, and somehow, no other way to get it off her chest but speaking with a sunbae within the company. key.

that’s how the blonde found herself in one of the instrument rooms with the male sitting not that far away from her as she absent minded was pulling the strings of the guitar in her lap. there was a huge moment of silence, and elly was desperately trying to get the ideas straightened out in her head. her hand soon stopped moving and she looked at key, lips pressed in a thin line.

“i know you’ve heard about the survival show,” she started, her voice pretty laid back as well as her posture as she leaned back against the wall. “i signed up for it, but i’m not really keen on debuting.” that probably sounded quite two sided. hyo-jin was aware about the fact that there are thousands of people who would die to be in her position, but she thinks she has a good enough reason for that. sometimes, she needed guidelines, for things like that, and she thought key was a good option for it, she looked up to him in numerous aspects.

“i want to be a composer and producer, currently, i haven’t been given the option for that type of exposure.” she stated, head nodding a few times as she continued “i do write lyrics and compose different types of song and what not, but i think i need exposure as a person before i am allowed to show anything else that i am capable of. does that make any sense so far?” she would definitely call herself selfish in this case, but she needed to get it out one way or another.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿//heat it up;;

@rkjazzeun​

with the announcement of the royal girl’s survival show, hyo-jin somehow had determined to actually debut. how? she had no clue, but maybe a day extra dancing wouldn’t hurt her that much would it? 

ignoring the way her bones hurt she found herself with jazz in one of the dance studios, sitting on the floor and stretching. elly was probably way too flexible to not be a dancer, she could already name a few people who were jealous of that ability, but she didn’t really think much of it.

“what are we gonna do today?” he voice filled the empty room, question addressed to the other female. her and jieun weren’t that close, but they were definitely closer than most of the trainee’s elly knew and saw around the company. “i want it to be fun, maybe lively?” she suggested, not really wanting to do sexy or pure hip hop. she needed some time to relax and enjoy the opportunity to get to do something fun.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// Classical; solo

With the whole Royal Girls survival show, Elly might have been stressing herself a bit more than she should. 

Her biggest issue was probably the image the company had already picked, it king of bothered her. The thought of being this cute persona she wasn't. Well, she could be if she tried, or knew how to, but the last time she did aegyo, was when she was pissed drunk out of her mind, barely even remembering how she ended up back at her place. But that's a different story.

She was currently standing in the recording studio with one of the producing coaches, talking about classical music and how to actually put the violin in a pop song. It was something she had only done once or twice in her time as a violinist.

Somehow, after smashing her decade old violin behind Royal Ent's building, Elly found some time to get a new one, and it did feel weird underneath her fingers, but eventually she would get used to it. She wanted to show that she wasn't that underground rapper, who drank, smoke and paid money to strippers on multiple occasions. So why not do a popular song, with the singing being covered by the violin? Sound like a good option to her. She wasn't the best dancer, nor singer, heck she thought of herself as the worst out of everyone in the company. She wasn't the typical goody two shoes, she was bratty and loud, spoke out when she wanted to, but the fact that Royal had kept her even with the multiple occasions where she could have had caused a scandal, made her rethink why she was there.

Hyo-jin's thoughts trailed as song played in the background, the violin pressed against her shoulder, and her chin and cheek comfortably rested on it. Soon the want started moving in sync with the words being sung out. She matched the speed of the lyrics well enough, having listened to the song probably way more times than she loud have liked to admit it. She liked it, it was generally a nice song. She wasn't really found of love songs, the rapper tended to lean more into the break up revenge type of songs, it suited her taste and style a lot more. Especially when she could possibly create a very nice instrumental and well, boom, magical dramatic and sad music.

However, her main goal was to create the needed sheets of music and then repeat it over and over again before she got to the dancing part. Elly really wanted to just try things she hadn't done before, and currently that was playing the violin and dance. Yes, she saw some videos of people doing and had always thought 'I could do that.' so there she was now, trying it because she knows she can do it if she wanted, and currently, she wanted to do it. She wanted to impress and show she is even a tad bit talented and unique.

Or put up a new standard for herself, who knew what Royal would say throughout the survival show.

[hyunarkarchive]

✿// #bewhatever

@rkcap

“i don’t like my hair…” was literally the first thing hyo-jin told her ex when she saw him in the gym the morning after she dyed her hair. “yours looks nice tho..” she commented soon after, eyes glued to the nice shade of brown minsoo had gotten. honestly, the whole idea of filming commercials seemed pretty pointless to her, but she couldn’t just blurt that out. it would be really ungrateful if she just.. did it, like that, there were probably so many people who would love to be in her place and end up on tv, but she would have done it either way. it was a matter of time before royal shot her ass in the survival show they were planning.

“well, you also got a better theme.” she said, but didnt sound so bitter as she thought she would be. then again, her whole week had been stressful and just.. she was actually tired for once, the whole insomnia thing was finally taking a nasty toll on her body and brain “i’m not staying after training hours tonight. i’m too tired.” elly added soon after she and minsoo found themselves on the treadmill for their warm up.

[hyunarkarchive]

Goodbye;;

Backtracked to January, 2016. Evaluation on language skills; Location: Royal Training Building Time: 9:23am.

She was bitter. Not because the group was disbanding, she was bitter because they weren't given an explanation. Why? How?  

Then again, this song kind of reminded her of her previous self. Smart, dressed in those princess like dresses, working, studying, dedicated. Elly had pretty much lost the person who used to study in Yonsei uni, and she didn't know, how, or why, or where to find that person. Yes, she gave into temptation, out of pure curiosity.

So there she was now, holding the guitar with both hands, fingers clenching tightly at the neck of the it, the other gently fixing it to be more comfortable in her lap. She couldn't bring herself to look at the coach in front of her, nor the other trainee's spread around in the room.  

It was the first time she had used a guitar for an eval. Ever since the MGA's, Hyo-jin just strayed from it no matter what was requested from her. So, with a long sigh, she closed her eyes and let her nails started going over the strings, the repeated melody starting to build up. She waited a good few seconds before finally opening her mouth.

가지 마   날 버리고 가겠다는 말은 하지 마 기억 속 나를 두고 떠나지 마 널 잡을 수 없는 내 눈을 보지 마

There was a small pause from her, a tiny sigh and she finally dared to look up from the floor, her eyes still hooded, and she continued with the single line.

그냥 가지 마

Elly stayed focused, really, she didn't plan on crying, no matter how much she was tempted to burst into tears. She wasn't a vocalist, nor a dancer. She was a rapper, but here she was, singing to a sad song, that probably no one would actually get an answer out of.

속지 마 겨우 이런 유혹에 넘어가지 마 모든 게 영원하지는 않잖아 겨울이 가면 봄은 다시 와 알잖아 그냥 가지 마

Oh, she had given into the temptation. The curiousity, the idea of being more than she was meant to be. She had joined the MGA's she had succeeded, but the cost, lately, seemed too great for her to just brush by. Her reliable future job, finance, possible Ph.D, family...  

Family, what even was that?

The pace of the guitar picked up, it seemed more happy now compared to the beginning, but she just couldn't feel it. She couldn't feel that specifing happiness out of the tune.

오늘이 지나가면 내일은 다를 것만 같아 너 없이 잘 살아갈 수 있을까

She did a riff, feeling the string dig into her finger and a bit of pain shot through her system. She glanced down, nothing. She was okay.

Hyo-jin found her voice again, this time going more stable than before, there wasn't that small vibration of not knowing what to do.

우리 다시 만나는 그날까지 안녕 안녕 우리 다시 만나는 먼 그날까지 안녕 안녕

The English bit definitely came out clear, crystal clear, because she was good at it, she knew more about how to control her tone.

Does anyone know, does anyone know how it makes me feel

And then her voice slowly fell back into the emotional wreck it was, with the Korean  

우리 다시 만나는 그날까지 안녕 안녕

The strumming got harder.  Repeated itself a few times, and she sang along.

Oh 안녕 안녕

There was a super shot pause that followed, and the guitar was heard again. To Elly, the guitar suddenly started more complicated. Not that’s he would actually mess up or anyting, but it had those weird little specific twists around it, it gave it character.  

믿지 마 흩어져 부서진 말들은 믿지 마 너의 작고 작은 마음을 놓지 마 함께했던 약속들이 생각나 눈물이 흐른다

잊지 마 가끔 힘이 들더라도 괜찮아 기대고 싶을 때는 찾아와 나 영원히 함께 있어줄 수는 없지만 잠깐이잖아

She sang the whole two parts together, not really looking at anyone specific, not really paying attention to what the coaches wrote and discussed, or the other trainee's in the room. She didn't need their opinions, or so she actually hoped.  

The song finished, eventually and Elly bowed her head politely before getting up to go and put the guitar away, making wayfor the next trainee that would have to be under the eyes of the people in the room.

It still felt strange how, she didn't mind being judged, yet she minded being under the gaze of the people in the room. Maybe she actually wasn't suited for this job after all.

[hyunarkarchive]

Law of Total Madness

part; 2 date; 21st january, 2018 location; royal ent’s building, recording studio stats; lyrics

now, elly had a lot of ideas with how this could go. very aggressive and personal or pretty chill and just tear into everyone and everything in a relaxed manner. she wasn’t sure which she liked more, so it was hard to just start dotting down the lyrics she liked and she didn’t like. even after quite some hours spend going over her other written lyrics prior to this idea, she couldn’t find anything good. 

not even a title, or a good catch phrase, not even words that stuck out to here like s ore thorn. nothing, she was just left with whatever she can mix and match together from thin air. it was rarer where she ended in these types of situations, but she had to persevere. she was aware she didn’t have that much time before she was going to depart, and try and figure out what to do.

so hyojin had to make the most of it. prove things to herself that she can do a lot more than fit into some mold, or write songs about break up and being an independent woman.

so maybe she just wanted to rage quit and call it a day and sleep through the whole night and then go back to training like normally, but she wasn’t up to that yet. she was willing to push herself just a bit more and get it done with. just one thing, a verse, a bridge, a chorus, anything would do her good right now so she could start.

“okay... what key words can i get..“

she asked herself and before she knew it, she was writing. more than she thought she would, because it was just words, emotions she felt at the times that made her want to cretae this song.

my mind is a mess i’ll bark with anger uncomfortable frustration level mood swings i’m at war with myself 

don’t talk to me whoever i see, i bark, i bite, i rip apart

the escalation was quick, but here she was, already made two lines that could be thrown anywhere in the song. 

amazing. she thought and face palmed, because this was a start, but still nothing good. rubbing her face in frustration and groaning, she leaned back in her chair, staring at the dark ceiling and pushing the chair around to rotate and spin around. why was she forcing herself so much to prove a point that her ceo probably didn’t even care about?

she was stubborn, that’s why. and even if he didn’t say anything nice about the song, she did what she wanted to do. who knew, maybe he would like to hear another song? and she had high hopes, a thing that didn’t sit well with her and made her feel uneasy.

so with a sigh, elly pushed herself up and dragged herself closer to the desk, nearly smalling the notebook on it and the pencil on top of it. she then sighed again and reached to tie her hair in a messy ponytail, so it was away from her face and leaned over the said notebook she just placed there oh so gently and picked the pen.

she had a long time to do the song, but being the perfectionist she was, she would use half of the time to finish the song, and the other half to perfect it. she was going to do this.

don’t talk to me i’m frustrated, so frustrated don’t bump into me after i bite, i’ll chew and gnaw don’t bump into me frustrated, frustrated, frustrated

[hyunarkarchive]

✿ december eval;; christmas spirit practice day;;

december was all about the ending of something old and the start of something new, something better, something more.

but elly felt like it was the time for reflection and see if her determination would handle the current situation. she wasn’t sure herself what she was supposed to do other than just go back to her usual schedule when it came to training, maybe add in an extra few hours that would be of use every once in a while.

that’s why she spend extra hours in order to get the moves perfect, the pitch of her voice as well. even if she had done be my baby before, she knew she could improve on it, a lot more. it was an easy concept, it was chic and something elly could work around very well, compared to the other song.

to my boyfriend was cute. very cute, and something she personally disliked, because the pitch was too high as well. it was a difficult song to sing and elly found herself stuck multiple times in order to sing it properly, and the only solution she had was to sing it through her nose. yes it was a technique she had noticed a lot of idols used in order to sound more cute and innocent, because that’s what the stage was about. being cute.

it made elly gag, because it wasn’t something she wanted to ever do, but forced herself into. there was less of a fight each day she went to practice, she felt less and less motivated to argue with coaches and staff, and just wanted to get over it as quickly as possible. 

just five more months of this . just five more months.