#<<<my tag for Jim rn lol i need to change it to their full name tho

[sunnibits]

lord help me I literally tried like 3 times to expand upon my thoughts as far as this vague post I made this morning and on this the third try (AS IN TRYING TO MAKE IT CONCISE) it got. so long. so uhh enjoy I guess lmao 😭

vico ortiz you’re fucking onto something!!! I don’t have Twitter but I am sending this to them via telepathic link 😤

Basically, I think the reason that Jim would actually be so perfect to get Izzy to open up is because of the fact that Jim themself isn’t at all comfortable opening up to people!

Like, I feel like there’s a really popular idea of having a character like Lucius, Stede, or the Conceptual Golden Retriever Boyfriend™️ forcing Izzy to open up and be a big softie, and while I live for that as much as the next person - trust me, I’m quite weak for a good tender Izzy fic where he undergoes involuntary therapy - I don’t think that’s actually what’s going to be the most effective approach when it comes to cracking open this stubborn oyster of a man.

As much as I love indulging in some fluffy scenarios of Izzy breaking down and sobbing about his unrequited love into Lucius’s waiting shoulder, I don’t think someone like Lucius, Stede or the Conceptual Golden Retriever Boyfriend is actually going to be able to get through to Izzy, at least not in the state he’s in now - for the sole reason that Izzy hates people like that.

If there’s anything we know about this little shit, it’s that he rejects softness! He rejects tenderness and emotion! Now does he need it and would it break him, absolutely, but he’s not ready for that yet. So instead: enter Jim. Jim, who is ‘normal secretive’ (not normal secretive), reserved, edgy, and very much closed off to most people.

Now here’s someone that Izzy can actually respect! Sure, Izzy’s not friends with anyone, let alone a member of Bonnet’s crew - that’s absurd! - but at the very least, with some time, I truly think that Izzy would come to respect Jim. They’re skilled, they’re more than ready to kill people, and they don’t worry about that mushy gushy feelings bullshit.

But here’s the difference between Izzy and Jim: while Izzy is pretty much completely closed off from everyone at this point, Jim isn’t anymore! They have Oluwande! They’re starting, bit by bit, to open up to this person - this one person that they love and trust, who’s been so patient with them, who has shown them that it’s safe to open up with people.

So, while Jim and Izzy have both spent a long time living by the rule of ‘trust nobody, let no one in’, Jim has already begun their exploration into the world of expressing emotions and trusting people. So!!!! Jim already kind of knows how to start! And they wouldn’t try to push Izzy immediately into any dramatic acts of trust or softness, because there’s no way he’s going to allow that right off the bat. But Jim has been where Izzy is. They know it’s scary to open up, that it’s all too easy to just keep bottling up all your sticky, messy bullshit. But they also know that it’s impossible to keep going like that forever.

Maybe, after a (mostly) friendly sword fight or two, Izzy really starts to respect Jim. And Jim, to their own surprise, kind of starts to respect Izzy too. They see a little bit of something else, deep down, and it compels them. Maybe they even see a tiny bit of themself, even if Izzy is a very different (and twisted) man. They may not trust each other, but Jim has the beginnings of an urge to start poking, and Izzy’s ready to listen. He’s not going to push them away - and Jim will make sure of that, never nudging him too hard. It’s not a fucking excavation after all, it’s not like Jim is interested in being his therapist. But maybe, maybe, they can chip a teeny little bit of his bitter, angry crust away.

Jim knows not to go too deep - they don’t even know how to do that anyways. They sure as hell aren’t interested in getting all goopy and soft. But they know what Olu taught them. They start with the little things. Little questions, little prodding. Leaving out some crumbs for Izzy to take, even if he doesn’t want to. Even if the first few times they ask about his name, or his tattoos, he doesn’t give them more than a grunt. But after a while, maybe, by the time Jim’s almost forgotten they asked, they hear a muttered, “Israel. My real name is Israel.” They take it without a word. Just a nod. They sit in a silence that is almost companionable.

Listen. Izzy cannot. handle. grand, open acts of affection. Vulnerability disgusts him, terrifies him. Even if Lucius or Stede or the Conceptual Golden Retriever Boyfriend were to offer it, Izzy is not ready. Not yet, not the Izzy we know. But!!! I think he could take little pieces, just starting small. Things that he can easily brush off, or ignore with another indifferent grunt. Like half of an apple cut by Jim’s knife, silently offered and accepted. Or a hand extended to him when he falls on his ass after being - very fairly, very skillfully - beaten in a practice duel. It surprises him, but he takes it, and lets Jim pull him up.

I think eventually, Jim could have a conversation with Izzy about opening up. Something along the lines of telling him that he doesn’t need to open up to everyone - just someone. At the very least, he needs to start by letting one person in. And it doesn’t have to be Jim - hell, lord knows they don’t have time to dig into whatever crazy shit he’s got going on under all that - but he’s got to pick someone. Because it’s worth it. Because eventually, everyone gets tired of you slamming the door on them, and they’ll stop knocking.

Of course, at some point when Jim reunites with the crew of the Revenge, everyone will get to talking again about how annoying Izzy is, and how they should just throw him overboard - for real this time. But Jim mumbles a little, “Oh, he’s not so bad when you get to know him.” Everyone looks at them like they’re crazy, but it gets in their heads, gets them thinking. If Jim can get along with Izzy, then there must be something half-decent about him, right? Right?

If you asked Izzy the same question, he might not be able to answer. But… maybe he’s ready to try and be half-decent, at least. He’ll die before admitting it. But it makes him consider. Maybe, next time someone comes knocking, he’ll let them in. Just a little.

[hallucinosims]

Hi here’s the get to know me tag let’s get to knowing

I was tagged in this by @gunthermunch

125 questions under the cut, if you do decide to read i suggest getting a snack first

I tag @emovatore @humanitys-shortest @liliithvatore if you haven’t done it yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elio

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Lee and Leo are the go-tos in real life but I get called Hall on here and I think that’s a rad nickname too

3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 5th

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I am a slut for the Percy Jackson series and Leo Valdez was one of the reasons why I started going by Leo more often then my full name

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Yes yes absolutely yes. One, earth really can’t be the only planet in a universe with infinite possibilities to have life on it, you know? And ghosts is more like a spirit thing.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? oooh fuck me up this is a hard one uhhhhhh Classic author probably Edgar Allen Poe but Contempoary I’d say Tony Kushner

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the Musical Theatre station

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? I don’t really like... food. I don’t enjoy it. But I guess I like savory over sweet

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? neat

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Liar by Queen or Greek God by Conan Gray

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I-Cunt-tic, pronounced like iconic but... you know

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Please Never Fall in love again Ollie MN

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Kidding, that Jim Carrey tv show that premiered this year. Beautifully edited and told story

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody 6 times this month alone so probably that on wards

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yes

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying in the same place i was born

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my empathy

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? the depression (tm) 

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? idk, i’m not really an animal person

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? playing in the ika playscape

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i have quite a few best friends but when im at school/work then my good friend Julio

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? a very doe eyed dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? i re-dyed my hair black recently so let’s go with that

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my mom

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my dad

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? myself

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? going to denmark to be a farm gay on my semester off

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? currently Sims, Queen, and Falsettos (the musical)

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i didn’t have cable but there is no way in hell i’m saying cyberchase so, Mia and Miguel

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? Julio

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? very

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? none that i can think of

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?i actually really enjoy both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? True West, it’s a really good play

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ...Bohemian Rhapsody for the 6th time

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? most stringed instruments i can figure out pretty quickly but i’m best at guitar and piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? humans

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i follow over 5k people i don’t even know who i follow

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? basically Kirby. I want the power to take others powers

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in michigan on rainy afternoons in my bunk bed with my laptop on my lap. Or like, the floor of a bookstore

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? loaded question

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I used to do competitve dance, competitve cheer, biking, and volleyball

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? watah

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? like a week ago to my grandma, she likes getting post cards in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? i used to be. not so much anymore

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who saunter. We got places to be fellas

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yup!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? i’m to anemic to be either 

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a performer

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i’m actually not to into media that take place in other... wait i take it back i wanna live in Hobbiton

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? breathing

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? ehh sometimes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? It’s a part of my career so hopefully

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? i’m skippin school rn

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? manhattan Lower East Side

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I live in the Upper West Side right now and it’s aight but it’s not the LES

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nope

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i just dont sleep

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? nah

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yee

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? anything

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Tony Kushner

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yee and before you ask my fave is Deadpool

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when people be on some bullshit

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? IN High School I loved history

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister who is ten years older than I am

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? ... iced coffee despite it being 30 degrees out

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3

75. CAN YOU COOK? I’d like to think so. Wish I had a oven tho

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? music, my family (sometimes) I’m trying to love myself so let’s throow that one in there

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? people who stroll/saunter, when people are on their bullshit, dark chocolate

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? male “friends”. But, I know a lot more girls that I keep up with more often.

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? lesbian

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Manhattan, Upper West Side

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Me mam

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday in my Theatre class but we were all crying so i’ll let it slide

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i don’t really watch anyone consistently

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? i do

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tinder

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? prety solid i love them both even if my mom hates my sexuality and threatened locking me at home when i came out to herelol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? italian

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?Copenhagen! I’ve wanted to go to Denmark since I was ten

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah son

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? defenitly a lot less than my story style insists lol. I do believe in God tho

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? LOADED QUESTION BECAUSE I WANNA EXPLORE BOTH 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? ehhhhhhhh no

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? strawberries and some medicine that i can’t remember the name of

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes i’m a lesbian it’s what we do

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nah

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Literally anytime i’m wrong about soomething. I love being exposed, put in my place, roasted.

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest so I can find my mans... my MOTH mans

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? you know what you want, don’t let your concerns get in the way of your ambitions

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Deadass I talk to myself more often than otherpeople

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? introverted

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yee

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give everyone I can think of second chances because i’m a forgiving sone of a bitch and yet they continue TO BE ON SOME BULLSHIT

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THat be mine i may be forgiving by moral compass be broke as hell and I haven’t eaten in like 3 days because i’m so broke

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? When I’m answering this question for a job application i sure do

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? tragicallu

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have 5 holes in my ears and a nostreil piercing

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Mark Cohen or LEO VALDEZ

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes 2, one chest, one forearm. But that’s only because I don’t have money i need more

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to new york

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes and she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? eventually I feel like I would make a pretty solid kid

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my dad

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Being high for three days straight

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? i just finished pulling one

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black as you can see by my simself  i really do dress pretty much only in black because i aged poorly out of my goth phase

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yeeee

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Yep, Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Trade Show stuff, probably for school or local news a few times

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Know in your soul like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain, know that you’re whole. - HEdwig and the Angry Inch

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? This is a really boring last question but savory but if you made it this far i’ll expose myself a little more. I’m black and Jewish, I go to a performing arts Conservatory, and this took me so long to answer because I hooked up with someone in Brooklyn last night and i had trouble getting back to my dorm.