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trashcanmarvelfan · 5 years

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Boyfriends & Beauty Vlogs - Tom Holland/Reader

Summary: Reader is a professional Hollywood makeup artist who also has her own popular YouTube beauty vlogging channel. She has been dating Tom Holland for about 8 months in secret when they decide to make their relationship public by participating in the ‘I do my boyfriend’s makeup’ tag.

Warnings: None? I’m pretty sure this is G-rated, or at least PG. There might be like 1 swear word and an innuendo towards the end that you can take it as you like.

Word Count: 3,397 according to my Google Doc.

Author’s Note: This was partially inspired by an ask I saw on another Tumblr, but I can’t find the original ask so I’ll paraphrase: Basically Peter P. watches the reader put on makeup and tells her that she’s beautiful even without it (I think.) Combine that with my current obsession with makeup tutorials on YouTube (which is hilarious since I don’t wear much makeup AT ALL) and you’ve got this glorious piece of trash fic. This is likely going to wind up being a series as I discover more tags for the Reader to do (or even have Tom & Reader answering the YouTube comments on the video they’re filming in this fic).

(PS: I purposely didn’t use any brand names for any products that the Reader uses, although it’s very common for beauty vloggers to tell their audience what product they’re using.)

Cross-Posted on AO3.

Y/N Y/L/N adjusted one of the lights in her beauty room as she was getting ready to film the latest video for her YouTube channel. “We good?” she asked her friend/assistant Carmen, who was adjusting the camera. “Everything looks great,” Carmen replied.

“Are you ready?” Y/N said off-camera to her boyfriend of 8 months.

“Absolutely,” he replied.

“Ok then, I’ll go through my initial welcome then I’ll call you into frame,” she explained. “Are you sure you’re ready to do this?”

Her boyfriend nodded. “If you’re comfortable with it, so am I.”

“Ok, let’s go.”

Carmen hit the record button and the red light lit up on the front of Y/N’s camera.

Y/N beamed at the camera. “Hi, everyone, welcome back to my channel! Hope everyone is doing well and enjoyed my last video. As I said last time and as you can probably tell from this video’s title, I have a special surprise for you. I’ve mentioned my boyfriend several times on this channel but he’s never made an appearance nor have I ever even mentioned him by name. Well, there was a reason for that, but he & I have talked about it and since a lot of you have been asking about who my ‘mysterious boyfriend’ is he’ll be joining me today for the 'I do my boyfriend’s makeup’ tag.”

She looked off camera. “You want to join me, honey?”

Her boyfriend walked into frame, just his torso showing since the camera was angled down to where Y/N was sitting.

“Well, have a seat, you goof!” Y/N laughed as her boyfriend sat down. He leaned over towards Y/N and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Hello, love.”

Y/N took a deep breath. “Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Tom Holland.”

Tom looked at the camera and gave an adorably awkward wave. “Hi, everyone.”

Y/N looked over at Tom. “So, thanks for joining me today, babe.”

“It’s no problem, love,” Tom replied.

“Normally this is where I’d ask if you’d ever worn makeup before, but I don’t need to since I’ve been your makeup artist before and therefore already know the answer to that one,” Y/N teased.

“Yes, but you never used a lot of stuff on me, right?” Tom replied. “I only recall some sort of powder.”

Y/N nodded. “Well today we’re going to do a full face - eyes, lips, everything. You ready?”

Tom nodded.

“Ok, so this is primer.” Y/N held up a small bottle. “I’m going to put a little bit on my fingers and I’m going to rub it all over your face and neck. It’ll moisturize you so the rest of the makeup doesn’t dry and crack.” She squirted a pump of the liquid onto her fingers and rubbed them together. “Here we go.”

She smoothed the primer onto Tom’s face, turning his head gently to get both sides of his neck.

“This feels really nice,” Tom remarked.

Y/N laughed. “I know you’ve used moisturizer in your skincare routine.”

Tom shrugged. “Yeah, but I’ve never had my beautiful girlfriend be the one applying it to my face before.” He shot a cheeky wink towards the camera.

Y/N shook her head. “You flirt.”

Tom grinned. “You love it.”

“Anyway,” Y/N said jokingly, “the next step is foundation. I think I managed to match some foundation that I already had on hand to your skin tone, although I didn’t actually swatch it on you so we’ll have to cross our fingers and see if it works. I did grab a few other shades just in case.”

She pumped a dollop onto the back of her hand. “Let’s see…” She dipped her finger into the foundation and swiped a tiny bit onto Tom’s face. “Huh, ok, wait, that might actually work.” She held up an oval-looking sponge, one end flattened and the other rounded into a tip. “You know what this is?”

“Some sort of makeup tool?” Tom guessed.

Y/N laughed. “Technically, you’re right. This is called a beauty blender. I’m going to take the beauty blender and dip this pointy end into the foundation and dot it all over your face, then I’m going to use the other side to buff it into your skin.”

“Ok.” Tom leaned in a bit.

Y/N pumped a bit more foundation onto the back of her hand and began to dot the foundation onto Tom’s face. “Ok, so I know everyone is going to have questions, so leave a comment down below and we’ll try to answer as many as we can in another video. I know the biggest question everyone’s going to want to know is how exactly we met and/or got together. Well, as some of you already know, I was hired as a makeup artist on Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: Far from Home, which meant I did Zendaya’s makeup for FFH. I did Tom’s too for both films, but since he wasn’t on set a whole lot for Endgame we didn’t interact much and since he’s so naturally pretty all he needed on FFH was setting powder so he wouldn’t be shiny in front of the cameras.”

“Aww, thanks love,” Tom interrupted. “You’re naturally pretty too.”

Y/N grinned. “Thanks, babe. So anyway, Z and I became friends during the FFH shoot so while we were in London she invited me to go out to dinner with her, Tom, and Jacob. Tom and I sat next to each other at dinner and afterwards he said he wanted to buy his mom some new moisturizer for her birthday so would I mind helping him pick something out while we were in London since I’m a professional makeup artist. So we exchanged numbers and a couple of days later he texted me asking if I could go shopping with him. Little did I know that it was just a ruse.”

“Hey, I had to get your number somehow!” Tom protested. “I didn’t really feel like I had a chance to get to know you enough during Endgame to ask you for it and Z wouldn’t just give it to me – she said I had to work for it!”

Y/N laughed. “And you did. You suffered through 2 hours in a bougie skincare store in order to find your mother some skin cream for her birthday.”

"Totally worth it,” Tom said with conviction.

Y/N couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “So then Tom offered to take me out to dinner at some fancy London restaurant as a 'thank-you’.” She stopped to include the air quotes.

Tom turned slightly toward the camera so he could chime in. “Yeah, I planned to take Y/N to one of the nicest restaurants in London, right, thinking I was going to impress her, but when we get there it turns out the place was closed because 3 people had gotten food poisoning the night before.”

Y/N finished blending in the foundation. “Ok, wait a sec, babe. Next step is concealer.” She held up the tube. “I’m going to swipe this under your eyes, on your chin, and on the bridge of your nose, then I’m going to use the same beauty blender to smooth it out.”

“Wait, so it’s foundation, then concealer?” Tom asked. “Wouldn’t you want to conceal first?”

“You would think, but this is how it goes,” Y/N replied. “You’re correcting what the foundation didn’t cover.”

“Oh, well that does make sense.”

“Ok, just stay still for a sec, but you can continue talking.”

“So anyway, the fancy restaurant is closed, so Y/N suggests this fish-and-chips spot we had passed on the way there. We get in there and place our orders, start talking, pause to get our food, and the next thing we know the place is closing.”

Y/N finished blending in Tom’s concealer. “We had literally sat there and talked for 4 hours,” she added. She set the beauty blender down and picked up a brush and another container. “Ok, next step is setting powder. This is what I used on you on set.”

She tapped out a bit of powder, dipped her brush in it, and tapped off the excess before brushing a light coat all over Tom’s face. “So yeah, we sat there and talked for like 4 hours, then Tom walked me back to my hotel.”

“I was so nervous because I wanted to ask you out for real, but I didn’t know how to tell you that my mum’s birthday had actually just passed.”

Y/N laughed. “You heard that right. Tom’s mom’s birthday had actually been the week before and Tom didn’t really need a gift.” She leaned back to take a look at Tom’s face. “Ok, next step is bronzer followed by contour, then highlighter. You don’t really need bronzer so we’re going to skip that, so we’re just going to take this brush here, tap into our contouring palette, and brush a little here on your cheeks, across the forehead, and then take this fan brush and go down either side of your nose.” She followed through as she explained. "You know what, we can skip the highlighter too. We’re just going to do a tiny bit of blush instead.“ She grabbed her blush palette. "Yeah, we’ll go with this one.” She dipped a blush brush against the palette, tapped off the excess, and swiped a bit on the apples of Tom’s cheeks. “Perfect.”

She set her brush and palette down. “Okay, we are going to lock this all in with some setting spray, but before we move on to the eyes we’re going to take a little break, so let’s go ahead and get this set.”

Y/N picked up her can of setting spray and said, “I’m just going to spritz this on your face. You might want to close your eyes real quick.”

Tom did as instructed and Y/N gave his face a quick spritz. “All done,” she declared. “So again, next is eyes but before that we’re going to take a quick break and will be back soon!”

“And we’re out,” Carmen said as she cut the camera off. “I’ll be right back.”

“So, how do you feel?” Y/N asked Tom.

“Surprisingly light,” Tom replied. “It doesn’t feel like there’s much on.”

“Good, that’s how a good makeup job is supposed to feel.” Y/N stood and stretched. “You want something to drink? I have bottled water in the fridge over there in the corner.”

“Yeah, that would be lovely. It’s a bit warm under those lights.”

Y/N grabbed Tom a bottle of water and sat back down next to him.

“Thanks again for doing this with me,” Y/N said, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Maybe eventually we can try out some of the other tags.”

“Like what?” Tom replied.

“Well, they’re mostly variations of this one - like you’d do my makeup, or I’d do Harrison’s makeup, or one of your brothers.”

Tom nodded. “Yeah, alright. I probably could talk one of them into participating since they all adore you. Sam was right pissed that he couldn’t fly out here for this trip. He said he wanted to see me 'looking all pretty’.”

Y/N laughed. “We’ll get him out here eventually.” She checked the time on her phone as Carmen walked back into the room. “Ok, ready to get back to it?”

“Sure. What all is left?”

“Eyes, so eyeliner – well, we’ll attempt that, at least– shadow, mascara, and a lot of people do false lashes but I don’t because they make me look like fuzzy caterpillars are resting on my face, so we’ll skip that. Then lips and some more setting spray and we’ll be done.”

“Angles are still good,” Carmen stepped behind the camera and checked the viewfinder. “You guys ready?”

Y/N sat up a bit straighter and nodded.

“Ok then, 3, 2, 1.” Carmen hit the record button and the light lit up once again.

“Ok, we are back from a quick break, so now we’re going to move on to eyes.” Y/N picked up an eye pencil. “We’re going to try eyeliner, but if your eyes water too bad we’re going to have to skip it.”

She took a deep breath. “Ok, babe, close your eyes and stay still so I don’t accidentally poke you.”

Tom sat stock-still while Y/N lined his upper lids.

“Ok, now I’m going to attempt to do your waterline.”

Tom looked puzzled. “My what?”

“Your waterline,” Y/N repeated. “You know, where your tear ducts are.” She smirked. “You trust me?”

Tom began to look mildly terrified, but nodded.

“If you’re uncomfortable or your eyes start watering we’ll stop, I promise,” Y/N reassured Tom. “Now, get as close to me as possible.”

Tom scooted forwards on his stool.

“Here we go. Now, keep your eyes open and look up for me.”

Y/N managed to get the eyeliner on Tom without too much trouble. She checked his eyes out. “Well, damn. That’s not too bad.”

She sat back. “Ok, the rest of this is easy.”

She picked up another brush and her eyeshadow palette. “We’re just going to get a nice smoky eye going here, so we’re going to dip into this gray color here and get that all over the lower lid.” She pursed her lips as she worked. “Anyway, babe, we were talking about how you walked me back to the hotel after we had fish and chips in London.”

“Oh, right,” Tom replied. “Yeah, so I walked you up to your hotel room and was trying to figure out how to ask you out for real.”

Y/N grinned. “You’re so cute when you’re nervous.” She dipped her brush into a deep purple eyeshadow and continued working on Tom’s upper lid.

“So we’re standing there,” Tom continued, “and Y/N says that she’d see me Monday on set then she goes, 'tell your mom happy birthday for me… you know, when it comes around next September’ before winking at me and going into her room.”

Y/N laughed. “I had been interested in you for a while and Z knew that, so when I mentioned to her that you had asked me to go birthday gift shopping with you for your mom she called you an 'idiot child’ and told me that you were interested in me and had been asking her for my number, then said that Nikki’s birthday was actually the week prior. I just couldn’t figure out a way to tell you that I knew what you were up to without embarrassing you.”

“Well I did feel like an idiot for a second since I was basically busted, but then my phone chimed with a text.” Tom smiled at the memory.

“I just couldn’t leave him hanging,” Y/N explained as she started on Tom’s other eye. “So I texted him immediately telling him that I had a really great time and asking if he’d like to do something the next day.”

Tom chuckled. “I immediately said yes, of course, so we quickly planned to go for coffee and to an aquarium. Since it was early and a Sunday the aquarium wasn’t very busy, so we had a lot of time to ourselves. When we got to the dolphin tank, Y/N turned towards me and said something about the dolphins, but I was too busy looking at her to catch it. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to make a move, so I took her hand, leaned in, and kissed her, and the rest is history.”

Y/N’s eyes crinkled up at the corners. “Best first kiss of my life,” she said. “Now, mascara. Try not to blink, ok?”

She swiped mascara on both of Tom’s upper eyelashes and carefully applied it to his bottom lashes.

“Last step – well, second-to-last, really – lips. I’ve chosen this really pretty plum color for you, so we’re just going to kind of line your lips here with a deeper color…” She trailed off as she lined Tom’s lips, making sure to slightly over- line his top lip to make it seem fuller. “And we’re going to fill in with the plum.”

She scrutinized her work. “Let’s see…” She dabbed a little bit more lip gloss to the corner of Tom’s lips. “Ok, done. Just another spritz of setting spray and you’re done! Close your eyes.”

Tom held still while Y/N set his makeup. “You ready to see what you look like?” she asked.

Tom laughed. “I’m kind of nervous but then again I trust you, so… yes?”

Y/N picked up a hand-held mirror and gave it to him reflective side out. “Ok on the count of three, flip it around and check yourself out. 1, 2… 3!”

Tom flipped the mirror over and his jaw dropped. He lowered the mirror and showed his shocked expression to the camera. “Damn, love, I look good.” He raised the mirror once again and checked himself out. “It hardly looks like I’m wearing makeup at all except for the lipstick.”

Y/N laughed. “ Well, yeah, we were going for a full beauty look, not drag makeup.”

Tom looked over at her. “Can I kiss you with this stuff on my face?”

Y/N grinned. “Yeah, it’s set so it shouldn’t smudge.”

Tom leaned over and gave her a tender but chaste kiss. “This looks amazing. If I ever have to wear makeup for a role I’m bringing you as my personal stylist.”

Y/N laughed again and turned back to the camera. “Well there you have it. Thanks so much again to Tom for being such a good sport and for letting me use him as my canvas, thanks to you for watching, and again, I know you guys will have questions, so leave us a comment down below and we’ll do our best to answer them in a later video. And always remember: Bring your inner beauty out. Bye, guys.”

“Bye,” Tom echoed.

“Annnd, cut.” Carmen stopped recording and closed the viewfinder on the camera before checking the time. “Ooh. I’ve got to run – gotta pick Simon up from daycare since my husband’s working late.”

Y/N nodded. “Don’t worry, we got this. Thanks so much for helping out this afternoon. I’ll see you later!”

Tom checked himself out in the mirror again as Carmen left. “This really looks fantastic. Can we get a few pictures so I can post them on Insta after the video is released?”

“Absolutely, babe.”

Tom pulled out his phone and took a few selfies, then took some more shots of him & Y/N together. Tom texted Harrison one of the photos and laughed when he got a response.

“What?” Y/N asked.

“Haz said that the makeup is a vast improvement on me and that we make a very pretty couple,” Tom said.

Y/N smirked. “Tell Haz I’m willing to pretty him up for my audience too. Just say the word.” She bit her lip. “So the world is going to know we’re together in a few days’ time. I know I keep asking but you’re absolutely sure you’re ready to go public with our relationship? I know how much you value your privacy. Don’t feel like you have to do this for my benefit.”

“To be honest, I’ve been wanting to shout it from the rooftops,” Tom replied. “You have no idea how many times I’ve almost talked about you in an interview. You’re beautiful, talented, brilliant, and best of all, mine. Now I’ll be able to talk about my incredible professional Hollywood makeup artist girlfriend all the time.”

“Aww, honey, you’re too sweet.” Y/N gave Tom a long, slow kiss.

Tom stood. “Now, let’s get all this put away so we can go see just how 'long-lasting’ this makeup is.”

*************************3 days later***********************

Tom sat next to Y/N as she finished checking the settings on her latest video. Y/N added one more tag and sat back. “Ok, it’s done loading. Ready?”

Tom put his hand over hers on the mouse. “On the count of three. One, two…. three.”

And together, they clicked the 'publish’ button and revealed their relationship to the world.

#tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x reader #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #tcmf writes #my writing

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egdocument · 5 years

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About the EvaGeeks wiki and why you shouldn't trust it, concerning mainly one user.

On the subject of EvaGeeks: Let’s talk about the manipulation of information on the wiki, and perpetuated “nastiness” on the forums that has persisted for several years now. THIS IS A MIRROR OF THIS GOOGLE DOCS FILE. (My twitter post.) You can share this post or the original document freely, use parts of it, etc. I want this document to simply serve as a warning to new Eva fans and those less familiar with EvaGeeks and their history - as well as an update for people who haven’t seen the current state of it.

NOTE: If you can’t read any of these images, these are Imgur albums containing all of the notable ones: https://imgur.com/a/z2mGvvX https://imgur.com/a/oAgufc3

The intent of this document is not to “take down” the wiki or forum, obviously. The intent is simply to inform people of the dangers of trusting this site with their Eva info. It might be the best we have but that doesn’t mean we can’t improve it. I would actually love to see a more community cultivated version of the site with less biased information, but I fear that will never happen. The anxieties of any one (or many) individual(s), which have prevented consistent change until now are well justified, and it is not within reason to blame the outsiders for never bothering to correct the myriad of issues with the wiki. Please extend kindness to other Eva fans and approach sites like EvaGeeks with the appropriate scrutiny, if you aren’t already. We’re divided enough as it is.

Before I begin, I must state: All of the information presented is publicly available, either through main pages, chat logs or history. And yes, the link to join the Discord server and verify the information given in this is publicly available too. I will not link it myself, as I want to avoid any possible harassment of the users I speak about here. Harassment is NEVER the answer in any kind of conflict. This behaviour I don’t believe can go unchecked, but that doesn’t mean the consequences of it should be any kind of conflict towards any user. I will be naming them here so you are aware, but I really do have to advise you, as a reminder, DO NOT HARASS OR ENGAGE WITH THEM. The rule of thumb is that these issues are more systematic than you might think, and blaming or taking it out on a singular person or even a whole group is never justified. Targeted harassment, even with reason, especially never helps to remedy an issue, because it forces the person to double down on their behaviour and beliefs. Causing unnecessary pain to a person is never okay, and the ‘offences’ committed here aren’t deserving of it in the first place. Please also consider the feelings of the people who use the server and EvaGeeks site; not everyone is your "enemy" or your "target" (and frankly, no-one should be) and despite the feelings echoed in this document, EG is not a monolith of a singular opinion or belief.

The purpose of this document is to inform people of the ways EvaGeeks fails objectivity and has existed to push narratives and exclude outsiders for far too long. With new people coming into the Eva fandom (and there of course being others who have been around for quite a while but just aren't aware) I feel like now is the best time I could write this.

As for what prompted this, an anonymous member of the Discord server contacted me regarding the behaviour of one particular user they were concerned about. Said user had expressed considerable bias in the past and was admitting to making large edits to pages on the wiki very recently, and the person who contacted me felt unequipped to bring the issue to light themselves.

A decent amount of this document will be dedicated to presenting said user's contributions - while I feel someone always had to address the EvaGeeks Problem at large, it doesn't help that this user has essentially incriminated himself here to expose the problem in its entirety.

There is quite a bit of pretense I must discuss before I get into the subject of the wiki pages themselves. I suggest you read all of it; the start of the wiki section will be in heading text if you’d like to skip to it. I’m sure information on the biased editing of wiki pages is privy to anyone who has used the server or the site itself, but at the server’s current status of 60 entire members, I know not everyone has, or is aware of what the problem actually is. Please note that the person who contacted me has requested anonymity and I will be complying. I will not include screenshots of their conversation with me, and anything I quote from them will be paraphrased so nobody can go full Sherlock and analyse their typing patterns. It sounds silly and it’s probably just paranoia, but they shared my concern here. Any conflict we can prevent is for the best. EvaGeeks, of course, has a culture very much promoting the idea that it’s the “number 1 source for all things Eva”, and for English speaking fans it definitely is - you’d be surprised the amount of people who still, after all these years, think this site is consistently reputable. For the sake of context, I’m going to assume that you are not all that familiar with the site’s history or nature, so I’m going to provide a little bit of information about it for those without any first-hand experience. The forums in particular cultivate a very join-us-or-get-out type community, where those who dare to go against the grain get incentivised to leave the site; they’ll claim this isn’t the case if asked and obviously the site is NOT a hivemind but that doesn’t mean it’s not insular. I can vouch for myself and many others who refuse to go in more than a few threads for fear of discussion turning particularly nasty. Even the server member who came to me about this has stated they feel it “might not be a hivemind but it sure feels that way.” Silencing dissent, even when officially-backed, is part of their culture. You don’t have to personally harass everyone who has an opposing thought to you for it to not feel acceptable, you just need to have a history of mocking those who do. If you want some previous, notable cases of “discussion turning nasty”, here’s some off the top of my head: 1. The AWL Incident - In which ADV VA of Rei and director of EoE dub, Amanda Winn-Lee, joined the forums for discussion and was promptly harassed by a user. Most of these messages have been deleted but you can view what remains of her post history here. 2. Recently brought to my attention: upon beginning translation of the Episode 24 drafts, EG forum user LiLi was subjected to incentive to leave, mostly in the form of homophobic disgust in replies to her thread or others they were mentioned in. Any information that goes against the cultivated narrative, even when it is literally officially licensed content, is only ever considered with a degree of reluctance. The fact these drafts co-exist with other pages concerned with this episode is almost a miracle. You can find plenty of repeat instances of the above if you want to (more to do with homophobia and misogyny than outward hostility, but honestly it’s the same thing.) A look at basically any EvaGeeks thread concerning pairings or the female characters will unearth a variety of awful comments from many other users, not that that would be surprising to anyone who has spent more than two minutes in the fandom. Now, of course, that’s very relevant to the topic at hand even if it doesn’t seem to be. The EG wiki and forum have quite a bit of overlap and circular influence on each other as you’ll see later if you aren’t already aware of it. For a short summary before we jump into things and analyse our subject of the day, this essentially means that anyone with an opinion or information the majority doesn’t like will never get in a position good enough to edit the wiki and keep the edits there. This has resulted in many articles filled with conjecture and fan speculation that serve to shut down other viewpoints, whether it’s intentional or not.

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ON THE TOPIC OF THE EVAGEEKS WIKI

The issue surrounding homophobia and downplaying of references to LGB content in Eva, through proxy of fan-dictated content control and translation is not a new one by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sure you're all very well aware. It’s far from the only issue present in the fandom but it will be our subject of conversation today. Any ‘one instance’ of this persistent behaviour from Eva fans is never going to be enough to summarise how insurmountable it really is, though, so today I instead draw your attention to one user of the wiki who goes by the name of FelipeFritschF and his recent, frequent updates to pages concerning Nagisa Kaworu.

[TOPIC: FELIPEFRITSCHF]

I must reiterate here: although this document is mostly concerned with this user and will contain a number of receipts from various places, it is NOT supposed to function as a hit piece or inspire any kind of mob. Leave this guy the hell alone, just be aware that he’s the one making most of these changes and isn’t a particularly impartial party, to put things lightly.

Now, before we really get into things, it should be stated that the EvaGeeks wiki requires approval to get your edits there, as stated at the bottom of the homepage, here:

This means that anyone making consistent edits to the wiki has in fact been approved, and this isn’t the result of lack of maintenance.

What you’ll find is that it is consistently Felipe making edits to the pages in question. Kaworu’s bio page, for example, is almost entirely edited by Felipe, which we can see from the “History” tab of the article.

This is barely half of his edits made in the last few days. Take a scroll through it yourself if you’re so inclined. This hilarious bit of waffle was added by Felipe a few days ago and since revised since by him, as shown here.

(As an added bit of comedy, the man who decided to add in the Japanese in the first place apparently didn’t know the difference between 好意 (kindness, what Kaworu actually says) and 行為 (action). It’s been fixed since but I still think it’s quite funny.) Now, as anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of Japanese knows, 好き is not actually a very ambiguous word at all. I think it goes without saying, though, and I’m not here to have an argument about translations with you all (for the record, Kanemitsu’s now scarily infamous translation of this scene is perfectly fine with me in a vacuum, it’s just literally everything else surrounding it that’s the problem. Also, regretfully, I will have to speak about this nonsense later when it becomes relevant.) I’m using this as an example instead, to show how utterly ridiculous this guy’s additions to these pages are. He’s not even making a point here. It keeps going past this excerpt, and I suggest you read the whole thing (Kaworu’s page is linked above.) The point of bringing this up - and when I eventually discuss the Netflix translation when it’s necessary - is not to complain about semantics, although I’d argue that’s what’s happening in these articles, honestly. It’s just helpful when proving the actual point of the editor being incredibly unreliable and biased in how he phrases and omits things.

On the page dedicated solely to Shinji and Kaworu’s relationship (which is basically identical to their section on Kaworu’s page as far as I can tell), we can see that Felipe has also edited this several times, and even credits himself with expanding the version on the Evangelion Fandom Wiki now copy and pasted back to EvaGeeks.

The kind of “discussion” (very much not discussion when added to a wiki page supposedly presented as factual information, is it, frankly?) would be fine if it was happening in the EvaGeeks forum itself (and happen does it ever, but that doesn’t change the inappropriateness of this particular behaviour.) What I find disturbing is that in the past few days, this user has gone out of his way to make some already worrying articles even worse, presumably in an attempt to silence discourse, or add more fuel to the flames, surrounding the new Netflix translation. He has a whole page on that one, too, one which is very up-to-date in some regards and not at all in others, despite only being added a few days before me compiling this information. Frankly, going through this whole page on its own is a huge waste of my time considering how BLATANT it is in its biases, but I’ll do it anyway. It IS only a Theory and Analysis page (which is essentially an EvaGeeks free-for-all), but I think it’s quite bothering that the site even allows Theory and Analysis pages that consider only one viewpoint and are written by one person. The forum, presumably, is connected to the site for a reason.

I’m just going to link it here, for the sake of brevity. https://wiki.evageeks.org/Theory_and_Analysis:Kaworu%27s_lines_in_Episode_24 I suggest you read this before continuing. For a slight departure, the original theatrical Funimation dub of 3.0 is partially available for viewing online, although the audio is in cam quality so you may want headphones if you have plans to watch what’s there. The home media dub’s major changes are to issues with lore and localisation of jargon. While not directly mentioned in this article, it is implied from the subject that this is what it’s about; it’s been speculated that the very literal translation of Episode 24 in particular has come about due to Khara’s embarrassment with how Funimation’s theatrical dub of 3.0 handled Kaworu and Shinji’s relationship rather loosely. Despite these claims, every instance of the two sharing (honestly pretty awkward and unnecessary) flirtatious back-and-forths are still present in the home media version, barring an instance in the stargazing scene where Kaworu’s dialogue was translated even worse than it is in the final dub. If you don’t believe me, do the comparisons yourself. It may not be conclusive, but I think it puts mostly to death the rumour that “a Khara employee was there and saw how people laughed at the Kaworu and Shinji scenes and demanded it needed to be changed for the final release and now that’s being reflected on the new translation”, which is what it tends to boil down to.

It also goes without saying that NO ONE PERSON is “the most qualified” (holy shit, is this entry not even bothering to hide how biased it is) to translate an entire TV show, let alone something like Evangelion. Let us not forget that Kanemitsu’s claims that he respects “ambiguity” are not even true to begin with. EvaGeeks itself is a shining example of Eva fans, of which Kanemitsu is one and this is even discussed in the article, not being impartial enough to be tasked with discussing Evangelion! (There is obviously issue with citing the ADV translation as a source of all truth; if you read further into the thread on my tweet [the kitchen scene in EoE], I provide extra context for those interested, which I am aware has been spread around Discord and other places without that context included. Of course, I’m not an unbiased source either as you can probably tell from my tweets nor am I claiming to be, so please feel free to discuss these things in other places if you want. I’ve just got the tweets I have on hand here. Sorry about that.) Next, the repeat claim that this is “Khara’s licensed translation and thus the most accurate version” is pretty obviously nonsense; I’m sure I don’t need to point out to the audience that Japanese companies meddling in localisation has ended poorly in the past, or that Khara uses questionable translations from the dubs of the Rebuild films on licensed merch from time-to-time, or that the translation was fairly obviously not overseen or even QA’d by anyone following Kanemitsu’s translation work judging from the myriad of grammatical errors, missing subtitles and overly literal, poor sounding phrasing present in the final work. (Do I need to source this? Just watch the damn thing.) It’s not even like the ways it was translated have been consistent through different versions on Netflix; some were translated from Kanemitsu’s English to other languages judging from the obvious mistakes being present in multiple tracks, and some were barely even translated at all - the Italian version, the dub of which is mysteriously now missing, was so bad people were commenting that it sounded like Shakespeare or that it was translated word for word from Japanese. I dunno about you, the reader, but something about “Khara only bothered to check very rigorously the English version for their specific requests with the translation” doesn’t sound like what really happened to me. It’s more like they’ve just sent a translator they have worked with before to work on a project of theirs. Apologies for engaging in speculation, but that’s all this whole article is anyway. It’s just something I noticed from skimming through the page, but I find it quite interesting that Felipe makes a blanket statement about the excerpts from Schizo and Prano “being wrongly attributed to Anno” and then the source he provides for that is just someone on the EvaGeeks forums saying the same thing with little proper sourcing, when that was never really the intent of their post anyway. An interview summary exists where Anno has stated he wrote both books himself, and if you haven’t seen it, here it is. It’s obviously flimsy at best, but Tokyo Otaku Mode is an officially licensed Evangelion distributor. If Felipe is going to parade around his love for the Very Official Khara Subtitles Of NGE he can at least extend the same gratitude to other forms of official information; I mean, frankly, this article is about as reputable as anything in the Netflix subtitles are. Lastly, another thing I found quite interesting is his strange love for the ADV VHS subtitles. I really, really think this is obvious, but subtitles changed in later versions of the ADV release were changed because they were deemed incorrect. I don’t have sources for this so take it with an absolute grain of salt but I believe there’s even a commentary track on the Platinum release where the translator talks in depth about why she translated episode 24 as she did. It’s not exactly a better word than Kanemitsu’s, but if we’re considering translator’s word as law for whatever reason like Felipe is here, we might as well consider hers, too, right? Oh, and actually, have a look at the sources used on that article. Most of the sweeping statements he makes have absolutely no backing beyond what he’s piecing together from old and irrelevant interviews (when discussing the Netflix translation) as well as...linking Kanemitsu’s job history...I mean, sure, the guy is qualified, but do I really need to go over this again?

INTERMISSION: Speaking of sources, you might have noticed from perusing these articles yourself that EvaGeeks has a very low standard for sourcing to begin with, which is likely partially to blame for how things like these articles can even exist in their current forms in the first place. A site that doesn’t have such a lenient policy on sourcing, though, is Wikipedia. Felipe, of course, cannot stay within the confines of the fandom and has decided to have a go at providing some information to Kaworu’s actual Wikipedia page as well.

https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Kaworu_Nagisa&action=history Felipe is far less to blame for the state of Kaworu’s Wikipedia article, which is honestly pretty bad to begin with. There have been plenty of other people editing this one and the rather homophobic “Relationship with Shinji” part of the article has been present for a while before he started editing it. (The fact this article literally uses someone being explicitly homophobic as a source is not surprising for Eva fandom, but holy shit, am I disgusted every time I reopen this page. I'm not even going to bother figuring out who added that one.) I do wonder if his reasons for not desecrating this page the same way he has on EvaGeeks is because he knows it wouldn’t stay up for particularly long. Reminder that he is also the main editor of the same pages on the Evangelion Fandom Wiki, which is essentially a copy and paste of EvaGeeks. Of note is this little tidbit I found:

This is what Felipe then deleted, as this is apparently not relevant, despite literally being about Kaworu’s relationship with Shinji. I mean, I’m sure this could have been put in somewhere else and perhaps phrased a bit better, but why the hell would you outright delete that kind of information? It’s supposed to be a wiki, not your own personal opinion chamber. BTW, this is the thread post he links as a rebuttal to that person adding it, and it’s probably for the best it’s presented here with context: https://forum.evageeks.org/post/886380/NGE-Ep24-Script-First-and-Second-Drafts/#886380

He clearly thinks he has a point here, but I’m not sure what exactly he’s going for. Basically everything he’s saying is conjecture, and while I can kinda see where he’s coming from it sure does completely fail to address the intent as explained in this interview. “Read the whole interview” is very dismissive, especially when the interview in full doesn’t exactly contradict the initial point. It does say quite a bit, how he will disregard official information when his wiki articles themselves are full of nothing but rambling.

Here’s another relevant and quite funny Discord screenshot:

Felipe is making a pretty hypocritical statement here. I’m sure he does have a point - there’s probably been quite a bit of vandalism happening to these pages which isn’t exactly surprising (again, Eva fans are not often rational people, please be honest with ourselves). That being said, I think there’s a particular irony to the man who has written many very, very long paragraphs on the wiki pages he has control over trying to stop people from thinking there might be anything but “ambiguity” between a pair he doesn’t like.

In the case anyone reading has forgotten: the purpose of a wiki should be to provide unbiased information on the material it discusses. Obviously the repeating of “innocuous” statements about how “ambiguous” it all is, in the vain of EG’s now made fun of ‘we don’t know what he really meant by that’ and ‘why Kaworu is so intent for Shinji alone to have happiness remains a mystery’ are pretty obviously intended to downplay the very, very obvious “subtext” and leagues of official information provided.

It kinda goes without saying that WE CAN INFER THESE THINGS FROM THE ACTUAL INFORMATION ON THE WIKI, you don’t need to add a disclaimer to everything going “well we just don’t know what it means!” (even in instances when we do know what it means, but that’s almost besides the point). You don’t need to add in these statements, unless you’re trying to sway people into ignoring what's presented by the show. If you want people to draw their own conclusions, you are in fact capable of presenting information without commentary - in fact, that's kind of the whole point of a wiki. Yes, Eva is ambiguous at times, but talking down to people like they need this reminded to them constantly is an absolute waste of time and energy. It’s almost as if the editor has been trying to cultivate a narrative and has been getting away with it because you can’t really prove these statements are biased unless you do the research. (I mean, you can from context, but it certainly hasn’t done much to get them removed, has it?)

You can view the editing history of any given EvaGeeks article on their own pages if you want to see just how many times these things have been added in by Felipe. And obviously, no, it isn’t just his fault - there are other users, several, in fact, credited with the editing of these pages, many of the edits serving the same point as Felipe’s paragraphs on “ambiguity”. He’s just the most concrete example of a biased editor. Also, yes, I do recognise this has all happened within the few days post the release of Eva on Netflix and that it was likely prompted by that. But we know at least one of the mods is aware of it given how Felipe talks about it in the EvaGeeks Discord server. It’s also quite funny I’ve seen people linking these pages like they're some kind of "gotcha" in response to tweets discussing the new translation, as if they haven’t been invented out of thin air in the past few days.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, frankly I’m sick of staring at EvaGeeks, and if you want any more information on these articles and others with instances of the same thing happening, you can have a look at it yourself.

Originally, this document contained far more screenshots from Felipe. My desire for this to not turn into a hit piece has lead me to remove a great deal of these messages. I do suggest, if you want to, you join the server and make your own conclusions. Even beyond what the member told me about I found myself agreeing with him fairly frequently when he was being reasonable - this doesn't change my concerns regarding the presentation of information on the wiki, though. The anonymous member was mostly concerned about this user having basically all the control over Kaworu's wiki articles, seeing as he has far too high of a stake in everything. Not all of these messages are inflammatory or even necessarily bad or wrong, but I find that to anyone privy to the “revelations” about the EvaGeeks Wiki here, they paint an interesting story, to say the least.

It’s starting to sound like he perhaps has just had some bad experiences. The following few messages are part of the same conversation.

I find it interesting how he flipflops from not understanding anything about the whole Eva Parallelism Theory Thing to suddenly being all for it when it concerns things not about the gay stuff.

Comments on how ‘manipulative’ Kaworu is

Because Kaworu is very pro instrumentality, and this definitely isn’t just a theory, I mean, it’s even talked about on the wiki, guys! (And I’m not even touching on the yes-men in this server.) Oh.

Oh no.

For the record, this page is clearly still under construction, and to point out any one thing about how bad it is would be essentially just poking a stick at a beehive. At least this one is so absolutely poorly phrased it’s doubtful anyone could mistake it for any kind of proper information. I also find it incredibly funny whenever pages on the wiki use the forum as a source. Relevant: Qmisato’s post on his defending of Shinji sexually assaulting Asuka: https://qmisato.tumblr.com/post/183082754484/yesterday-i-was-invited-to-evageeks-official

In response much later. I really can’t see it as being framed as “fun teenage romance”, also why is the word romance suddenly being used to talk about Asuka and Shinji after the whole debacle with Kaworu? He’s said before he doesn’t see Asuka and Shinji’s relationship as romantic, either (and GOOD! It’s not!)

(Also - it’s not sexual assault when Shinji tries to kiss Asuka in her sleep, but it IS when Kaworu does the exact same thing to Shinji? Make up your mind, dude.) Turning this sort of thing into Shipping Discourse is frankly not the right way to go about it, but it is perhaps notable that despite what Felipe says, he is in fact an Asushin shipper. (I don’t feel the need to post all these images in the document as its cluttered enough as it is.) At this point it’s rather adhom and I feel irrelevant but I do think it’s relevant that through all of Eva fandom, those who have the most issue “understanding” (more like accepting, I suppose) LGB subtext, are those who also are really attached to a fairly morally grey het pairing themselves. Again, seriously, there’s nothing inherently wrong with any of this and assuming the worst of someone because of the pairings they like isn’t my intent here, it’s more that I find this pattern has always been prevalent and it’s bothering me I’m seeing it STILL in 2019. ESPECIALLY from a wiki editor who inserts so much of that into his work on the site.

You’re probably sick of reading all of this (and I’m getting sick of writing it), so I’ll wrap up the part on Felipe quickly: Yes, I just dedicated several pages to screenshots of mostly innocuous (when considered out of context) stuff one guy had to say. I feel more obsessive than I’d like to admit, and frankly I have no business with this person. We’ve spoken twice on EvaGeeks threads if you can even call it speaking. This task was given to me by a member of the community who was concerned about his behaviour but didn’t want to publicise it themself and I feel a little out of my depth here. I at least hope we can come to the conclusion I wanted to here, that I fear may have been lost in this whole great mess of language - no one person should have THIS much sway over the state of a wiki that’s supposed to be impartial, especially when they have not been quiet with their biases in the first place, and it is the failure of everyone involved in the maintaining of the wiki itself that this sort of behaviour has been allowed in the first place.

The guy can have whatever opinions and theories he wants, obviously. I don't give a shit; he's not even that bad compared to the grand majority of Eva fans to begin with. Don't think this document exists to "cancel" him or thoughtpolice, I truly, genuinely, do not care what is said inside this server anymore. It doesn't concern me. I mean, it's a fucking cartoon, for god's sake. This only becomes an issue when opinions are expressed on a wiki, for reasons I have reiterated many times now. EvaGeeks lacks the objectivity required to function as a wiki and I'm trying to make that clear.

[ON THE TOPIC OF THE EVAGEEKS WIKI AND COMMUNITY IN GENERAL] As for who can edit the wiki and what they’re allowed to say: As you can see from the nature of people’s posts in this thread, you’re given access to do very specific things, and although I haven’t bothered going through the process myself (as I find it would be quite redundant, trying to fix such an inherently broken system), I’m guessing it’s very easy to get your edits reversed if you post anything they don’t like. Take that as conjecture of my own.

I have it in decent faith that the approval process involves whoever of the mod team is there at the time coming to an agreement based on people’s applications. Obviously this is a decent idea for a system, and I’m sure there are legitimate reasons as to why EG has to be locked down as much as it is; judging from the state of other fanon wikis I’ve seen there’s likely to be a decent amount of vandalism, especially in a fandom as passionate as Eva’s is. However, I think it’s fair to say that the complete restriction of updating these pages to those approved by a mod team who, while I’m sure are very reasonable people overall, certain individuals of which have displayed concerning behaviour and biases of their own in the server during my brief look around. I won’t be naming anyone in particular from the mod team as I don’t feel like I need to add any more targets of shame to this already horrifically negative document, but I have gotten the general impression (in case it needed confirmation, following the remaining of these specific changes on the wiki) that some mods, not all, aren’t the most nonpartisan individuals themselves. I do happen to be decent acquaintances with at least one of them so, again, please don’t consider this a personal attack.

My concern here plainly is that I don’t think a group of mods who have routinely failed to prevent events like the ones mentioned earlier, nor seem to have much of an issue with the myriad of examples of people being openly homophobic and misogynistic on their own forum are really in the position to be choosing who of the Privelleged Few get to control the Eva meta-narrative here. As I was writing this, I was alerted to the state of the primary Japanese Evangelion wiki as a source of cross referencing for what these things can look like if done right. If you take a moment to browse it, even if you don’t speak any Japanese and have to use an automatic translator it should be very obvious how something like this differs greatly from EvaGeeks. Kaworu’s page, for a relevant example, doesn’t have present any of the nonsense statements about ambiguity or overwritten descriptions of everything. The wiki respects the reader’s intelligence enough to know that it is, in fact, a wiki, and thus tries its best to be factual. His page is fairly decent in size and states things we know are fact rather than theory. There’s no attempt made to influence or confuse.

Oh, and just in case you think the mods aren’t actually active or present enough to know what Felipe is doing, his particularly awful page on Kaworu in episode 24 got a shoutout from the official Twitter account two days ago.

If you are going to join the Discord server to verify things yourself* or do further digging, again, please be cautious of other users inside and do your best not to start anything. I am an occasional contributor to the forums and I’d prefer not to get my account flagged or to experience harassment myself, if any EvaGeeks members are still reading this document and disagree with my conclusions. I may not have posted much since I joined earlier this year, but despite everything I find the forums to be valuable for connecting with other fans and have enjoyed the positive feedback to my SIRP translation! Those who have spoken to me there have been very kind (including Felipe himself), and I must reiterate that this is not targeted at the whole site, or even at just Felipe. I simply believe there is more than enough evidence to suggest there have been consistent, systematic failures to recognise and correct the utter lack of objectivity present. I seriously don’t have any personal issues or beef with this guy, either. I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t someone else who came to me about it.

*It should be noted that the person who spoke to me has pointed out certain members have been concerned about outsiders joining and screenshotting the chat. They may remove the public link to join if this document were to cause a huge issue. I will leave the server following the publication of this document and I have no plans to join again. I can’t speak for those who may join of their own accord but I do hope people have heeded the disclaimer I made initially.

Thankyou to all the people who have extended their own kindness and support during the creation of this document, to the anonymous person who tipped me off and the lovely Eva analysts I know for offering their own experiences with EvaGeeks and further supplementary information. If this whole document reads like the product of a bad mental health day, I guess it is. Also yes I know how hilarious it is that I’ve spent all this time creating what essentially amounts to an EVAGEEKS CALLOUT POST but I mean. Someone had to say it. Why not make an utter buffoon of myself in the process?

#Mirroring this for the sake of people concerned with their privacy when accessing google docs #reading this back theres a lot of bad wording but whatever. itll do

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blueraith · 6 years

Text

Some folks still need to learn how to constructively comment

Wish I could say that I’ve been writing Chapter... 12(? Legit, I don’t often remember the chapter numbers outside of the Google doc) since posting Chapter 11 (we’re just gonna assume I know where the fuck I’m at in my own story, okay? Give me this).

But that would be a bald faced lie.

(Mostly because of my sister’s graduation and all the family visiting and the concurrent back injury I was suffering. Really kills the writing mood when you can’t sit up properly to type.)

This is going under a read more, because this incident Vexed Me To The Max(TM) and triggered a Rant of Epic Proportions(TM).

But graduation has been over, and my back has been feeling great. What really kept me a bit down since all that was over and done with is that very morning I’m feeling better, I see that I have two comments on the 100 fic I’ve put on indefinite hiatus. Yeah, it’s not an active story, but I still care about it, and I’ve been thinking about it recently. So, in short. I still care about it a hell of a lot. Hell, I care about everything that I write. I’ve written fanfiction at what’s nearing 10 years now, but nothing has erased the fact that putting yourself out there in the public eye takes a hell of a lot of effort and, sure, a smidgen of courage and confidence.

Well, this lovely commenter told me that my word count was way too high, that I was slowing my story down, and that they skipped to the last chapter (from Chapter 2, they skipped 6 chapters of ongoing character development, an ensemble cast, Ark politics, and canon fix-its) “40k words and [Clarke’s] still not on the ground yet??”

This is me paraphrasing both comments. I deleted them with extreme prejudice from the fic because I wasn’t leaving that kind of useless bullshit on my work after it effectively ruined my mood for, like, four days.

Why was it bullshit? Well, for one thing taking the average word count per chapter, it’s only a little over 5k words per chapter. Look. I balance out my word counts very carefully for each story that I write. This fic has a longer than average word count compared to my more recent stuff (which is around 4k per chapter) because of all the fuckin shit I was pulling off in this particular fic. Reworking canon to better explain why the Arkers were resistent to the radiation on the ground while having the superior blood that the Mountain Men wanted without putting them up in their shitty space station for thousand of years that evolution would have actually required them to have gone through to be remotely realistic.

Jake’s alive in this fic because I don’t like dead characters shaping character development on a pre-canon basis. Personally, I dislike orphan/parental loss storylines before the specific original work has even started. I get that orphans exist in real life. But YA media has a disproportionate amount of dead parents. Eh. I wanted to do something different. So, this means there’s an entire extra character in the story that I have to write and develop.

Diana Allers actually matters in day to day Ark life instead of just showing up and nearly murdering everyone because she’s a selfish bitch for little to no reason other than to make Abby’s already pretty damn full storyline even more packed than it already was. (Seriously, why didn’t they develop Allers more? She’s lazily implemented in canon, and I hate it. Lord only knows I enjoyed Abby and Raven’s plotlines far more in several places of Season 1 rather than Bellamy’s Manpain Adventures Lite Before He Turns Into A Complete And Utter Psychopath Later On In The Series).

Jaha is far more competent and slimey than he is in the show, rather than being a foolish man who is barely toddering along in the plot towards something useful.

Abby and Jake are at odds because Jake technically betrays Clarke and allows her to get arrested in the beginning of the story. They adopt Raven in the interim and they’re all awkwardly trying to free Clarke while pretending that Jake and Abby aren’t having marital problems. Well, Jake and Abby are pretending, Raven is as blunt as she usually is and just calls shit like she sees it.

Ensemble cast. There’s literally a tag on this story that tells you all that “This Story Is Literally About Everyone.”

So.

Yeah.

Clarke’s not on the fucking ground yet. But you wouldn’t know that, would you? Having skipped past 6 chapters.

Is 5k really that long? I wouldn’t know, personally when I read a longfic, I go into it knowing that the chapters might be long as fuck because I know that I’m reading a fic that could literally take me through several days and I read pretty damn fast. Not that 40k words is really all that much when you’re rewriting a TV show using all the characters who already exist in canon and then getting into their thoughts and motivations because that is literally what books do, this isn’t a screenplay, I wouldn’t be caught dead writing one because I despise them. Sorry, but you’re getting the full range of thoughts and emotions of everyone involved. I know, that’s just awful, getting hours and hours of content for free, but god forbid the plot doesn’t run on your timetable.

But that’s really the crux of this rant, isn’t it? NEVER complain about word counts, people. Too short? Who the fuck cares? The author could be just beginning their writing careers, so to speak. Word counts of any significance takes practice, first of all. So, not only could they might or might not have the required experience to write longer chapters, they may not even want to. And that’s fine. Because they do this FOR FREE.

Same thing with longer chapters. Are you really going to come at me, nearly a year after I’ve written and posted this work, complaining about word count, as though there’s even a remote chance that I’m going to go back and edit down all of that time and effort I put into that work to satisfy your fragile reading stamina?

Pfffffffffft.

I mean, this is funny to me in some regard because I’m over here wondering just what would be a good length for this person. Part of the reason my chapters tend to be at least 4k words long is because that’s generally where I can get a comfortable amount of character interaction, introspective thought, and plot moving forward. All three of those things matter to me when writing chapters. I hate reading too short works (and no, I don’t tell these authors this. I read what they give me and just deal with it because they’re entertaining me for free) and it’s little more than characters just trading dialogue with each other. I want to know what they are thinking about as well. I want a bit of narration. I’m reading something from a specific character’s point of view, and I want that chapter to ooze the personality of that character.

These are all the things I keep in mind when I write to my word count goals, personally. Doing it in less than 3k words might be possible, but it would sure as hell be annoying.

But most of all, it just irritated the fuck out of me. Like I’ve said multiple times in this rant. I do this for free. I don’t expect you guys to know this, but in order to get these substantial updates when I can manage to actually feel well enough to write and get them published, it takes me EIGHT TO TWELVE HOURS of sitting in front of a computer screen to have a chapter finished. On a good day. Yes. Most of the chapters I put out are done in one day, in one block, and I’m often up until 5 AM finishing something up. I have severe ADHD. Sometimes it is a chore to get shit put on a page because I can’t sit down and focus my thoughts enough to sound even coherent. Sometimes I have issues keeping up with what the beginning of a long sentence was about and I have to constantly keep up with what the fuck I’m even talking about in any given thought.

So, you have an author with a severe executive function disorder attempting to concentrate hard enough to get her own thoughts in character for each and every character that is featured in any given story while attempting to resist even the most mundane distractions while desperately hoping she’s going to hit a period of hyperfocus long enough to get substantial work down, but if that happens she’ll probably forget to eat because she’s on a writing binge that goes on with actual significant work for a period of several hours.

I love writing, despite the challenges I have to deal with in order just to get it done. I love most of the comments that I receive. I’m coming off a period of extreme depression from some family issues I was dealing with. My skin is rather thin at the moment and that irritated the fuck out of me, but those two comments knocked more wind out of my sails that I really wanted them to, and that bugs me even more.

But I am more experienced in fic writing than probably your average person. This commenter pissed me the fuck off, but I’ve moved past this, it’s hardly shattered my motivation to write forever.

But a careless commenter could easily do that to someone just getting into fanfiction. And it makes me wonder just how often this happens everyday, every hour, when entitled, spoiled people who think their needs are more important than the author doing this FOR FREE decide to voice their terrible opinions on their works. I love my readers, I don’t hold myself beholden to them, but they are extraordinarily important to me. Plot, pacing, and character development are all my own when I write because first and foremost, I write for myself. It’s a hobby that I clearly have to work very hard at to even be remotely successful at, and taking anyone else’s standards into account is never going to happen when I have to live up to my own already very high expectations. But I do keep y’all in mind when I’m devoting my time, energy, and effort in. The chapter lengths I have partly exist to make up for the wait times I inevitably have between each release. I very much know that I am sporadic and inconsistent when updating. So, when I do, I want to have something that isn’t just a whisper in the wind when it finally cycles to the top of the AO3 listing.

I know there are inevitably readers who didn’t like my content, or do think my stuff is too long. That’s fine. But don’t come into my space and give me two comments that were effectively “TL;DR” and expect that not to be a slap in the face. Because it is. I have wonder if the fandom kids today even know the kind of slap backs this sort of thing would have gotten in LiveJournal.

But, never mind that. I’m a big girl, I took some petty revenge in deleting that bullshit from my boards and then setting the fic to moderated mode, but what I would like anyone who decides to read through what is actually a long winded post (all my rants are, admittedly) to learn is that you are not reading professional work. You are not reading work that has been paid for. You are not reading work that has been professionally edited. I’m not saying that you can’t have standards for fic, lord knows I have many, but I don’t go into an author’s work and leave shitty comments. Never. Constructive criticism on fanfiction keeps the author’s time in mind, their skill level over what they’re actually capable of, and whether or not they’re even open to criticism. Some authors don’t even want your advice. They just want to know that you liked it. And if you don’t, just don’t say anything. I’m not quite that fragile personally, when someone is giving me useful criticism that can be used to actually improve my quality of writing, but I will freely admit that clearly I have a sore spot about comments addressing word counts.

Get out of here with that shit.

In short. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

#fanfiction wank #shitty commentating #learn to constructively comment #pissed me right the fuck off #Rant Of Epic Proportions(TM)

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resting-meme-face · 7 years

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Happy 600, fam. Meta: Missy said "Time Lords are friends with each other, dear. Anything else is cradle snatching." If that's a general Time Lord belief, and not just a Missy thing, what does that say about their culture? What would most Time Lords think about renegades like the Doctor and Missy, who hang out with other species on the regular?

I’m willing to believe that, at least on some level, what Missy says about cradle-snatching is true. Of course, she’s likely exaggerating, but when is that new?

What this says about Time Lords is complicated. It means they’re patronizing, and see all other species, all younger species (and we know from other canon that few and far between are species that are as old as/older than Time Lords) as lesser. That likely leads to serious xenophobia (which is consistent in existent canon, especially EU canon, but also TV canon where non-interventionist policies reign). Why bother fraternizing with lesser species?

There’s potentially interesting connections to be made between the Time Lords and this season’s monks (and yet another failure of that trilogy is that these connections weren’t made). The opposite of the Time Lord’s non-interventionist policy is a policy of coddling lesser species. And that, obviously, is where the Doctor’s tendencies lie. He’s good with children (this is most obvious with the new series Docs, but it’s glimpsed at in the classic series: there’s a reason Five has a reputation as being a sad dad with too many children, and of course One is good at either coddling or collaborating with adolescents).

So, if we take Missy as being, at least partially, sincere with her cradle-robbing comments, then what difference is there between the Doctor and the Monks? Well, the Monks don’t do the things they claim to do (although, it’s of note that in The Lie of the Land, the Doctor tries to take credit for saving the day due to giving Bill those pictures of her mum), while the Doctor does tend to be responsible for the ‘gentle guidance and encouragement’ (slight paraphrase of the Doctor’s beginning speech) of lesser species to great heights. In that sense, the Doctor is quite disgustingly patronizing, and perhaps his collaboration with the Monks was a little more sincere than he’d want us to think?

As for what it says for other renegades, I think it varies. Missy clearly views them with disdain (and it’s interesting to note that even when she’s trying to be good, she merely encourages the ‘little people’ of the universe to stay clear of her so she doesn’t get…peckish), and I’m sure that’s one way to view lesser species too. Then there’s likely being patronising and probably fetishization (in multiple sense of the word, likely–and oh boy, the Doctor’s been guilty of that too).

Overall, I’ve skeeved myself out. This is what I get for free-balling answers to metas.

It’s my 600 follower celebration! Give me prompts for anything. Fic, meta, doodles, art, random shit. Go hog wild (but please specify, or else you just get fic. As that’s the Brand ™.)

#meta

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paulbenedictblog · 4 years

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%news%

New Post has been published on %http://paulbenedictsgeneralstore.com%

News ‘Insurgents’ lobbied Trump for war crimes pardons with little Pentagon involvement, officials say - The Washington Post

News

Army Maj. Mathew L. Golsteyn, who faced a damage trial subsequent year in the 2010 dying of a suspected Taliban bombmaker, said he expected the dedication to be like a flash. However Trump talked to him for virtually 15 minutes, asking questions on his plans for the long dawdle and the Pentagon’s application of militia justice.

“I’m paraphrasing right here, nonetheless he requested, ‘Did you feel handle you were going to uncover a ravishing shake or that it became slanted or biased in opposition to you?’ ” Golsteyn said in an interview. “I suggested him, ‘Sir, it became somewhat constructive that the tip consequence became mounted.’ And he said, ‘Yeah, that became my thoughts, as properly.’ ”

Trump’s intervention in the conditions triggered a appealing backlash from some veterans and moral consultants, who said that this may undermine the militia justice system and weaken U.S. credibility in a distant places country. However on Thursday, Trump weighed in all over again, announcing in a tweet that he'll no longer allow one in every of the service participants to be ejected from the Navy SEALs.

“The Navy will NOT be eliminating Warfighter and Navy Seal Eddie Gallagher’s Trident Pin,” the president wrote. “This case became dealt with very badly from the inspiration. Gain lend a hand to business!”

Rear Adm. Charles Brown, the Navy’s high spokesman, said in an announcement Thursday night time that the service is attentive to the president’s tweet and expecting further guidance.

How Trump got right here to factor in that the Pentagon could perchance no longer take care of the conditions somewhat, and in the end field the pardons, reflects his tendency to settle for the advice of oldsters out of doorways his administration. The president largely left protection officers out of his discussions about the topic until about a weeks in the past and suggested his high advisers that his supporters would lend a hand the switch, in accordance with five officers acquainted with the topic.

As yet every other, the officers said, Trump discussed the topic with other folks in his orbit, including Pete Hegseth, a Fox News persona who highlighted the conditions on his show and described the service participants as heroes facing malicious prosecution. Trump called Hegseth a gargantuan collection of events to keep in touch about the topic and suggested others about the conversations, in accordance with one most modern and one extinct administration official.

This legend of how Trump reached his dedication — and what comes subsequent — is in line with interviews with bigger than a dozen folks acquainted with the conditions, including White Dwelling and Pentagon officers. Many of them spoke on the location of anonymity thanks to the sensitivity of the topic and a desire to kill a ways from the president’s ire.

To boot to to Golsteyn, Trump pardoned extinct Army 1st Lt. Clint Lorance, who became convicted in 2013 of two counts of second-diploma damage after ordering his squaddies to begin fire on unarmed males in Afghanistan. Trump furthermore reinstated the wicked of Gallagher, a Navy SEAL who became acquitted of damage in July nonetheless convicted of posing for a photograph with the remains of an Islamic Verbalize fighter.

Early this month, Protection Secretary Keep T. Esper and Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy — both Army veterans — went to the White Dwelling to persuade the president no longer to switch forward with his belief. The talk to got right here one day after Hegseth, who did no longer reply to The Washington Put up’s requests for comment, presented on his show that he expected Trump to intervene in the conditions.

For over an hour, the senior protection officers described what they have about to be the facts of the case, said officers acquainted with the meeting. They carried documents and graphics with them and pointed out that Golsteyn became accused of burying the man he had killed, digging up his remains and then transferring them. Lorance had been convicted in the deaths of unarmed males, they added.

Senior protection officers, who realized about Trump’s belief rapidly earlier than Hegseth’s announcement, were pleased that Trump became being fed unfriendly recordsdata. Two officers said one doc that reached the Oval Space of job said that the Afghans killed in Lorance’s case were “gunning” their motorbike on the squaddies — some extent veritably repeated by conservative pundits. Varied squaddies testified at Lorance’s trial that the males killed were a pair hundred yards away and no longer on a motorbike when the People opened fire.

Finally of the meeting, Trump shared the facets Hegseth became making, in accordance with one most modern and one extinct administration official. The protection officers tried to accurate what they saw as misinformation, the officers said.

Esper later described the dialog with Trump as “sturdy.”

Trump suggested other advisers on the White Dwelling that, earlier than the meeting, he already had made his dedication to field pardons. Esper sought to delay an announcement, the officers said. Army Gen. Keep A. Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Body of workers, argued that the pardons would distress U.S. relationships round the field, and other advisers said it may perchance perchance space a unfriendly precedent.

“They were seeking to convince the president these guys were truly criminals, no longer heroes,” one in every of the officers said.

Trump said the system became stacked in opposition to the males and it may perchance perchance send a unfriendly message if “we throw folks in detention heart for going to war for us,” the officers said.

Trump first signaled publicly that he could perchance wade into war crimes conditions final December, after Golsteyn’s well-known other, Julie, looked on Hegseth’s program.

“At the seek recordsdata from of many, I will be reviewing the case of a ‘U.S. Militia hero,’ Major Matt Golsteyn, who's charged with damage,” Trump tweeted later on. “He could perchance face the dying penalty from our non-public authorities after he admitted to killing a Terrorist bomb maker whereas in a distant places country.”

The president’s tweet — a shock to advocates for the service participants — altered potentialities, said folks acquainted with the conditions.

While Hegseth started discussing the conditions with the president, United American Patriots, a nonprofit that advocates for service participants charged with war crimes, furthermore sent recordsdata to the White Dwelling, said David Gurfein, the neighborhood’s chief govt. Gurfein said in an interview that UAP equipped the tips this spring after a congressman — he declined to divulge who — met with Trump.

Several officers said that Trump started making comparisons to the conditions of Bowe Bergdahl, a soldier who brought on a big manhunt in Afghanistan after he deserted his put up in 2009 and became captured by militants, and Chelsea Manning, a soldier who leaked a trove of classified recordsdata. President Barack Obama traded five Taliban officers for Bergdahl and invited his folks to the Rose Backyard earlier than he became court docket-martialed. Obama shortened Manning’s prison sentence from 35 years to seven in 2017.

“Our large warfighters wants to be allowed to fight,” Trump said in a tweet Sunday. “I set no longer need done this for Sgt. Bergdahl or Chelsea Manning!”

One U.S. official acquainted with the discussions said he believes Trump’s mind effectively became made up about Golsteyn after seeing the preliminary interview with his well-known other in December. A “cohort” of “insurgents” advocated for the service participants for years, one official fascinated with the campaign said proudly, nonetheless the trouble received necessary traction after Trump took an passion.

“I judge from the moment that Julie Golsteyn made her first media look, the president had already made up his mind about what he essential to realize,” the official said. “However he furthermore became presenting a possibility to please in in some other case.”

In Could well also merely, the president pardoned extinct 1st Lt. Michael Behenna, who became convicted in the 2008 damage of an unarmed al-Qaeda detainee in Iraq. Behenna became first and most necessary sentenced to 25 years in prison, then became paroled in 2014. He argued for years that he became performing in self-protection.

Later that month, the New York Times reported that Trump became livid by pardoning other service participants accused or convicted of war crimes, on or round Memorial Day, including Golsteyn and Gallagher. The chronicle brought on a backlash, livid by Memorial Day’s solemn motive of honoring those killed in fight. Trump let the holiday creep with out performing nonetheless acknowledged he became livid by issuing pardons for “two or three” service participants.

“A majority of these squaddies are folks that non-public fought arduous, long,” Trump said the Friday earlier than Memorial Day. “You know, we educate them how one will be large warring parties, and then when they fight sometime, they uncover in actuality handled very unfairly.”

Gallagher’s damage trial started in June. He became accused of diverse crimes accurate thru a 2017 deployment to Mosul, Iraq, including stabbing a wounded Islamic Verbalize prisoner in the neck. While the costs stemmed in segment from accusations made in opposition to him by SEAL teammates, the case fell apart when yet every other SEAL testified beneath immunity that he had killed the prisoner, no longer Gallagher.

The trial already became beneath a cloud after a Navy prosecutor, Cmdr. Christopher Czaplak, secretly emailed protection attorneys and a Navy Times journalist monitoring instrument in an try to query leaks to the public. The Navy removed Czaplak from the case, nonetheless the topic fed concerns aired to the president that the service could perchance no longer take care of the case impartially.

Trump intervened later on, directing the Navy to revoke fulfillment medals that other prosecutors obtained for his or her work on the case.

“Not simplest did they lose the case, they'd stutter with appreciate to recordsdata that can had been obtained from opposing attorneys and for giving immunity in a truly incompetent vogue,” Trump tweeted.

Advocates for Golsteyn highlighted how long the case in opposition to him had stretched on and a 2015 discovering by an administrative board of officers that declined to substantiate the allegation that he had violated the laws of armed warfare. They furthermore properly-known that one in every of the investigators, Army Sgt. 1st Class Keep A. Delacruz, became court docket-martialed in Could well also merely for mendacity about the awards and decorations he had earned.

Within the case of Lorance, advocates careworn that some proof in his case had been withheld, though 9 participants of his platoon furthermore testified in opposition to him at trial.

Trump became lobbied that all three conditions mirrored overly restrictive tips of engagement accurate thru the Obama administration. A space paper ready by advocates and viewed by The Put up said the most efficient formulation to repair it became for Trump to voice correct judgment and backbone and reverse the outcomes.

Trump’s dedication has angered some veterans, militia justice consultants and participants of Congress, whilst they acknowledge that Trump has the energy to act as commander in chief.

“The results of Trump pardoning extinct U.S. service participants convicted by their militia peers of war crimes are manifold and serious,” said Rachel VanLandingham, a retired militia licensed legitimate and militia justice expert at Southwestern Law College in Los Angeles. “It erodes militia commanders’ ability to protect their troops guilty for following orders — equivalent to orders no longer to construct detainees in U.S. custody.”

Nearly a week later, Trump’s intervention furthermore has left a string of unanswered questions.

While Trump restored Gallagher’s wicked, the Navy moved to eject him and three officers who oversaw him — Lt. Cmdr. Robert Breisch, Lt. Jacob Portier and Lt. Thomas MacNeil — from the Navy SEALs, a protection official said.

“The Navy follows the lawful orders of the President,” the assertion said. “We can attain so in case of an divulge to conclude the government evaluate of . . . Gallagher’s legitimate qualification.”

A Navy official, speaking on the location of anonymity attributable to the sensitivity of the topic, said the service coordinated with the White Dwelling earlier than transferring to evaluate whether Gallagher and the opposite SEALs will protect their Tridents. Proceedings in opposition to all four males are on protect, the official said.

It became unclear how the Army will take care of Golsteyn, who remains on active responsibility, and Lorance, who became brushed aside from the service after his conviction.

In Golsteyn’s case, the officer became adorned with a Silver Smartly-known person for valor internal about a days of the killing that brought him beneath scrutiny. That award became later well-liked for an reinforce to the Successfully-known Service Inappropriate — one step down from the Medal of Honor — nonetheless the Army stripped him of both decoration and furthermore took away his Particular Forces tab. Basically based totally totally on questions, the service did no longer designate what this may attain subsequent.

“The Army is imposing the government orders,” said Lt. Col. Emanuel Ortiz, a service spokesman. “We're for the time being figuring out the government actions and processes required to utterly construct the presidential pardons.”

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duaneodavila · 5 years

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The Black Millennial’s Math

There are a great many detriments that remain in the path of black millennials’ struggle for equality and their share of the American dream. But math is not one of them.

I’m an early millennial or, as some people put it, an “old millennial” — meaning I am among the first of the generation that has come to be defined by this term. I attempted to claim a piece of my American dream through homeownership, and quickly I saw how much of a falsehood that dream could be.

I bought my first home in August 2005. I was working as a production assistant at a television network and was excited that I would now have a visual marker of success. I was 25, just a few years out of college, and everything felt possible.

For those of you whose memory of 2005 is foggy, owning a home was supposed to be a guaranteed path to wealth. Home prices were escalating at magnificent rates, maybe as much as 20% per year. Buy a house and you couldn’t lose, as you could sell it in a year for far more than you paid, and in five years, you could double your money. And the best part was that it was all leveraged! If you had a downpayment, the bank paid the rest.

At the time, I was making $28,000 a year — nothing much, especially when you live 10 minutes away from Manhattan — but credit was free flowing, and I qualified for a $250,000 “no doc” adjustable loan. It wasn’t a lot, but with some savings and some money that my mom and great-aunt promised to give me — a privilege a lot of black people don’t have — I knew I’d be able to make a 20 percent down payment.

Banks were offering adjustable rate mortgages, with “teaser” introductory rates that would soar when the real rate kicked in. But so what? By that point, the value of the house would have also skyrocketed, and you would refinance your house at a fixed rate you could afford based on the huge increase in value, using the difference to buy down the mortgage to an amount you could actually afford to pay.

You see, it wasn’t as if they hid the math from you. And while there were a proliferation of mortgage brokers who told buyer this was a lock, the buyers still saw the disclosures informing them that the payments would be twice what they were earning once the teaser rate was over.

My mortgage broker told me I needed to get out of my adjustable loan in two years and get a conventional mortgage. She sort of warned me it was a bad deal, and I could understand why. But she didn’t warn me against doing it at all. She was black, middle-aged and seemed to take a “by any means necessary” approach to black people owning property. I understood that, too. I marched up to my new, small, one-bedroom apartment on the Hill, satisfied. It felt as if I’d broken barriers.

Housing has long been one of the impenetrable stumbling blocks for racial equality. Black homeowners were steered to black neighborhoods, as they weren’t tolerated in white neighborhoods and any real estate agent who sold a house to a black family in a white neighborhood might find a cross burning on their front lawn.

Indeed, “blockbusting” was a means of buying up homes in a white neighborhood on the cheap, by bringing a black family in to devalue the properties. “There goes the neighborhood” was the refrain when a black family showed up. Good old American racism.

But that’s not Reniqua Allen‘s beef. She wasn’t “steered” to a black neighborhood rather than a white one. She bought where she wanted. She wasn’t denied a mortgage based on her race or gender. Money was free and easy. She wasn’t lied to about the significance of her “teaser” rate. She was warned. So what’s her beef?

How much room is there in anyone’s life for a mistake or the perception of a mistake if you’re young and black in America? How much of the American dream hangs in the balance?

A commenter to her op-ed, a realtor, does the math.

I am a Realtor. I saw quite a few of the NINJA (No Income, No Job or Asset verification) loans in the early 2000s. For many, it was an excellent opportunity to buy a home WITHIN THEIR BUDGET and without a lot of documentation and hassle (think service industry workers whose main income is generated through tips). Most agents and mortgage brokers use qualifying ratios to assist in determining your purchasing power. One such ratio suggests that your monthly mortgage should not exceed 25% of your monthly income. For the author making $2333.33/month, her target should have been a $100,000 home she could purchase with a monthly mortgage of $583.00. This works out to an $80,000 mortgage and a 20% downpayment of $20,000. If my math is correct, she bought a $312,500 home and put down $62,500 with the $250,000 mortgage running around $1817.00. That leaves just $516 for other expenses. It is not the color of her skin that ruined the American dream, but her desire to buy more than she could afford. The fact that she was able to keep the house as long as she did and not become a foreclosure statistic is remarkable AND laudable.

When the real estate bubble burst in 2007-08, many people were devastated. Some were black. Some were white. Some were male. Some were female. Most were families. Some were young. Some were old. They all had one thing in common; they didn’t do the math. Or at least didn’t accept that the math didn’t work, that they bought more than they could afford if prices didn’t continue to rise at an unsustainable rate.

I finally decided to put the condo on the market in 2018. My version of the American dream downsized and put on hold. I sold it for far less than I paid in 2005.

That is the downside of the American dream, that you aren’t guaranteed to win no matter what. You made a bet and lost. Lots of people lost, not because of their race or gender but because they ignored and denied the math. There is racism, but this wasn’t it. To paraphrase 1995 Barbie, math is hard. Maybe she knew more than we thought.

youtube

The Black Millennial’s Math republished via Simple Justice

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cabinboy100 · 7 years

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BABY DRIVER: Screening #2 brain dump…

This post is gonna be a spoiler-tastic collection of notes, thoughts, Edgar/Easter eggs, and crazy talk on elements of Edgar Wright's BABY DRIVER after a second screening tonight.

(You can review my post-screening-1 ramble here.)

About names and casting…

Buddy—Jason Van Horn.

I couldn't hold onto his last name after my first screening, just vaguely recalled it being Van Winklevossy, y'know? Something that fit Bats's educated guess from an uneducated man. But this time, I remembered, and hours later, I get it! I think? Jason VAN HORN! =)

Darling—Monica Costello.

In the car after taking care of the Butcher & friends, the crew press each other about their names and Buddy explains that they only know each other by nicknames, aka "monickers." With punny timing, Darling then reveals that her real name is Monica. We find out her last name is Costello from a breaking news bulletin later. My mind always jumps to Abbott-and- but I don't think that applies here. =)

Griff—short for Griffin.

We never get his real name, but that doesn't matter so much here. We do get Griffin, as in the legendary eagle-lion mashup beast, depending on the culture and time in which you ask, supposedly supernaturally wise and partial to gold treasure and testing humans with riddles.

Frack, am I confusing them w/sphinxes? Hrm…I'm gonna go with it, just to get my thoughts down.

After the first heist, Griff takes it on himself to find out what makes Baby tick, believing his quiet and aloofness to be signs that he considers himself better than the rest of the crew. He explains to Baby—You can't do crime without being a little criminal…One day, you're gonna get blood on your hands.

I wish I could remember more/all of what he says to Baby, but I'd bet all of it is and/or comes true.

Even if the name isn't a perfect connect, he still plays a Cassandra-like Wrightian soothsayer in the shape of a bank robber.

Doc.

I don't think we get any clue as to his altar ego, if he has one. All we know is he's a heist mastermind with impressive resources and a line on people with nasal troubles. We do see him sharing drinks w/Big Boi and Killer Mike at Bacchanalia, tho. ENT to hip-hop stars who was once in love, too? =)

Bats—Leon.

The batty lion. That works. I think we must've gotten his last name in that breaking news report, too, but I missed it. Nuts.

Eddie No-Nose—formerly Eddie the Nose.

Heh. That's a No-Nose no-no, page 1.

J.D.

I didn't catch any hint as to his real name. Maybe it's a filmmaking reference, like R2-D2? But specific to something or someone disposable? Or maybe a clue as to his fate, when or if he's ever discovered, post-sunset, he'd surely be tagged as a John Doe, right?

The Butcher—never get his name, but the actor? OMG! STILL ALIVE! =)

Crazy amazing casting and a damn impressive delivery of a pig-themed bad cop sales pitch! Perhaps PHANTOM holds a special place in Wright's heart? I know it does in mine. Or perhaps it's the man's extensive and inspiring oeuvre as a whole. In any case, a joyous experience seeing him in the BABY DRIVER world.

And the rest…

Now, whatever I can recall that I want to not forget, roughly in the order of appearance in the film…

The graffiti behind Baby is definitely updated between his trip to Octane and back to the Healey building. Maybe in more than one place, but I'm only sure about the "RIGHT" + "Shake Shake" art. On the way to Octane, along with Baby's "Harlem Shuffle" track syncing with graffiti and posted words in the environment, we see Baby match poses with wall art of a guy looking up to the sky and play "air horn" in front of show window featuring a trumpet. On his way back, a sandwich board doomsayer tells him that he must save himself from sin, and when crossing the street, a police car just passes him by before turning on its siren.

I wonder…Could the lyrics to "Harlem Shuffle" be a map to one of the getaway scenes? Or the acts and plot of the entire film…?

Hrm…Maybe…? Certainly can't put it past Professor Wright =)

When Baby flips thru channels at home w/Joe early on, there's a series of channel audio bits that felt a lot like SHAUN OF THE DEAD. The MONSTERS, INC bit that Baby uses on Doc—"You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship."—is part of it. At the end, we see coverage of a bullfight, a matador stepping around a skewered but undefeated bull. We hear, and see via cc—"The bull still stands." In the moment, that seems to be comment on Baby's sticking with his one-more-job-and-I'm-done plan, despite Joe's objection.

However, before we cut to the next scene, the announcer continues, talking about how the matador, having failed to finish the bull from horseback, must now try his luck on foot, which is kind of what happens to Baby after the Post Office robbery and also in his finale duel with Buddy in the parking garage. Post-Post Office, after skewering Bats, Baby (and Buddy and Darling) have to abandon their steed and escape on foot.

Later, when it's down to Baby and Deb vs. Buddy, they start car-v-car (the red Charger and the police cruiser), but Baby tells Debra they have to get out of the car so that he can end this, and although he does that just to get into a different car, the final confrontation has all of the players on their feet. Well, y'know, until they're not any more.

I think the second time we see Baby or Joe channel-hopping at home, Noel Fielding appears on screen for a few seconds. On my first screening, I thought it was a clip from THE MIGHTY BOOSH, but now I realize that it's from the video for Mint Royale's "Blue Song," which Wright directed and was sort of an early short form riff of his BABY DRIVER concept. A wheelman waiting on his crew to the sound—and duration—of a favorite song of the right length.

Debora vs. her sister Mary for songs with their names.

Bo's Diner decor/wall art—Route 66, couple in a convertible. Same as one of the postcards Deb sends Baby in jail.

Where is Bo's Diner? If ever in the area, gotta go—gotta go!

Laundromat decor/wall art—rockets and space.

Was the decor in the dinner and 'mat redone for the movie, or left as found?

The senior waitress says that Baby's been coming there since before she started. She thinks/heard that his mom used to work there. Lucky for Baby Deb thinks that more sweet than creepy. =)

BABY: I have different iPods for different days, different moods…

Bo's Diner number—555-1270. I think that was it. December 1970? Does that line up with a significant birthday or cinematic event?

There's a beautiful pair of shots one after the other when Baby, at home, calls Debora at Bo's. He's framed in a doorway of a darkened room, Joe in the lit living room behind him, with most of the dark on screen to the right. Then we see Deb, framed by the dark foreground of part of the kitchen, or maybe a supply/pantry area, to the left, with the light of the diner behind her. There's a palpable sense of their connection thru that phone line that crosses a darkness between them.

Or something. =)

Baby notices JD's "HAT" neck tattoo. JD explains that it used to read "HATE" but he had it "fixed" to be more marketable to prospective employers. After all…

JD: Who doesn't like hats?

Baby invites Debora to "Buck & Ella" (I think w/his earbuds in and sight reading from the side, he doesn’t perfectly catch “Bacchanalia” =) for the finest wining and dining of all the wine and dine in town.

Deb and Baby make music with their glasses at Buck & Ella. The whole non-verbal carousel cam montage of their date there is in wonderful sync to the music. LA LA LAND, eat your hat. =)

DOC: Take the buds out, shades off. Take the nephew, it'll be less suspicious.

I remember thinking that this seems like a way for Doc to set Baby up for capture later, getting his uncovered face caught on camera. A contingency plan to keep Doc under his thumb? Or put him away after this job?

NEPHEW SAM: You have a mint that says "Sam?"

When Baby and Sam deliver their reconnaissance report, I think Doc says, "Chips off the old block." A hint of actual fatherly affection? A Fagin-like show of pride? A clue to his brother's identity? Something else?

POSTAL WORKER: Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.

This after saying she's working "9 to 5, just like Dolly."

It's a sweet connect to the rain that falls the next day, the day of the Post Office heist, and the rainbow that appears five years later when Deb picks up Miles on his release from prison, ready to drive west on 20 in a car they can't afford with a plan they don't have.

I guess that's romantic? Sounds like a lot of stress to me. =)

Whenever someone slams a door or trunk, we hear Baby's tinnitus ringing. Always a flashback to the accident?

BATS: You don't need a score for a score!

And he talks about Hex Songs…

"Knockin' on Heaven's Door" "End of the Road" "Hotel California"

BATS: An educated guess from an uneducated man.

Bats at Bo's "reading" Buddy and Darling. They rob banks to support doing drugs. Bats does drugs to support robbing banks. They're on vacation; he's at work.

The bill at Bo's for four Cokes, aka three Cokes and one Coca: $5.70. Baby leaves a 20 and a note: Road trip 2am.

When Baby and Deb are on the run after shooting Buddy at Bo's, Baby steps into a phone booth in a bit of empty lot to call Doc, who is not helpful. The booth has graffiti on its clear walls of tentacles reaching up from the ground—a visual representation of the realization of Griff's prophecy? This is just before they—Bonnie and Clyde? More like Bonnie and Bonnie—acquire the red Charger from the vaping punks. One of them asks Baby to leave him his phone but since it's playing the music, Baby says—Nope. =)

BABY: Fuck you, Buddy.

Paraphrasing Elvis? FYB vs TCB? =)

I didn't mention it in my previous ramble, but Baby definitely vibes Elvis at least as much as Han throughout the movie, and earlier, actually. When lip syncing to the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion's "Bellbottoms" in the opening heist, he's definitely channeling Elvis for me.

Caught in the credits this time that WALTER HILL is the ASL interpreter for Joe in the courtroom at Baby's trial. Only heard, not seen. Cinema-cool… =)

Also, Baby's prisoner number is 28071978—the release date of Walter Hill's THE DRIVER! =)

WHO gives Baby his mail in jail? Not credited (in order of appearance, he should've been last, and the judge was last). Whoever it is has a very unique look, and a distinctive voice. Guess I'll just have to see it again!

Keep on keepin' on~

#BABY DRIVER #Edgar Wright #spoilers #brain dump #crazy talk #Baby #Buddy #Darling #Bats #Doc #Griff #Debora #Walter Hill #easter egg #easter eggs #details #notes #Edgar eggs

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