#@ walgreens: hey fuck you specifically

[laufskadus]

when walgreens keeps delaying your meds for unspecified reasons

[lastoneout]

Hey @ disabled people who use wheelchairs I got a question.

So I have the kind of chronic pain where sitting in normal chairs is usually hell on my body for a number of reasons, most specifically because I'm short and so sitting with my legs like, hanging?? for lack of a better word, because they can't be at a 90° angle with my feet flat on the floor, puts a lot of strain on my hips and knees.

But with a lot of lightweight manual chairs I've seen they're set up for your measurements, and your feet are usually flat on the rest while your knees are at that 90° and your thighs are more or less level, so basically I'm just wondering if a wheelchair helps you avoid "sitting in bad chair" pain, or if it's still painful but the trade-off is worth it?

Additional info: I have hEDS and fibromyalgia, as well as arthritis in my neck and back, and pretty bad sciatic nerve issues, and while sitting is almost always better than standing, and I do have knee braces, the braces only extend my standing time by like an hour or so and I can't bend my knees as far in them so they kinda just make sitting worse, and sitting in a normal chair that doesn't fit me for even like 20 minutes starts to cause a lot of pain. I want to go to school in the fall, but I would have to take the bus and that would involve a lot of standing and sitting in uncomfortable seats, and then sitting in the seats at school would also hurt, a problem that would be exacerbated by the knee braces rather than helped by them, I'm wondering if I should stick it out with the braces or ask my pain clinic about fitting me for a wheelchair.

Also sadly online school isn't an option, with the way my ADHD works I need to be at the school to actually learn anything. And while I do have a walker with wheels and a seat it's high enough up that my legs hang and you can't really put a footrest on it, so sitting in it is just about as bad as sitting in a normal chair.

But yeah, yesterday I ran like three errands(dog sat for a friend for a bit, had a doctors appointment, and then had to hang out at walgreens for a while waiting on a prescription) and while I spent most of the time sitting in cars and chairs they weren't chairs that I fit in and so by the end of the day I was at like an 7 and today I'm feeling all sorts of residual pain bcs I clearly pushed myself too hard, but I like really want to fucking go to school so I'm just trying to figure out how to make that happen without destroying my body.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Me to my doctor's office: "Hey can I get a letter stating I need working AC (under 75F inside) as a reasonable accommodation because it keeps flaring up my POTS? It also worsens my allergy-type symptoms if that helps."

My doctor: "Sorry, since you don't yet have a mast cell or histamine disorder diagnosis, my hands are tied. Talk to your allergist."

Me: Hey??? I know someone fucked up in the quite likely literal game of telephone here but I VERY SPECIFICALLY mentioned POTS as the main reason. You know, the flareups caused by dysautonomia making internal temperature regulation near impossible which acts as a vicious cycle to worsen the dysregulation of the ENTIRE nervous system and therefore cause stronger and more frequent tachycardia and presyncope episodes? The diagnosis YOU literally gave to me after doing the testing yourself that even if you misunderstood which diagnosis I was asking to be accommodated for could have suggested if you bothered to do your job for ONE SECOND?

...

This is the same doctor though (well, PA), that refuses to prescribe any mobility aid, even so much as a fucking CANE, unless I go to physical therapy, despite me being VERY OBVIOUSLY too SICK to go to physical therapy from my other chronic illnesses AND needing a mobility aid to actually successfully fucking GET to physical therapy most fucking days.

Like I've been defending that until now because she actually like... knew what MCAS and POTS were and actually listens to my symptoms and believes me but like... that's barely the bare minimum of what a passable doctor should do. I was just accepting the rest of the bullshit because I've dealt with far worse medical abuse and neglect for years but... all the other doctors at the practice are at least as competent so I'm fucking switching doctors.

And inb4 "well maybe she's trying to do her duty to make sure mobility aids won't make you more unhealthy:

1. that's ableism because it's not trusting patients to know their own bodies and stop using a mobility aid if it's hurting them

2. that's ableism because I could walk into a Norco and BUY any of those things if I had any money but I don't because I'm disabled so this is really about not charging insurance for something without having concrete proof that the patient will severely suffer without it - which is what I was using to defend her that her hands were tied but also doctors have an incredible amount of leverage and justifications they can make with my insurance specifically - but it's still ableism in the system regardless...

and 3. that's ableism because it's literally not a bad thing to be less healthy but ALSO in less distress, and forcing people with chronic illness to meet an arbitrary standard of health that causes them fucking pain because "being disabled" is viewed as worse than "existing in a constant state of agony" is WILDLY ABLEIST.

I fucking hate doctors. Like don't get me wrong, we need medical care, but current medical professionals don't even fucking give it. The pharmacist who vaccinated me at Walgreens has given me more medical care than my entire team of primary care providers and specialists. At this point all doctors are, functionally, bastards.

[spitblaze]

btw heres the Policenauts things im still going ‘hmm’ about, putting it under a readmore for spoilers

Okay so. Binary drug, you only get the full effects of Narc if you take both pills at the same time. which means there’s ‘no chance of being effected if you dont do it on purpose’. So one thats bullshit, like let’s ignore that you somehow found a way to separate the chemicals of this highly addictive, highly potent, highly psychoactive drug into two separate halves that are completely and utterly inert on their own, that have no noticeable effect on the human body for anyone, somehow. Sure. Whatever. How...exactly, are you gonna distribute these pills if ALL of them are like that? Gonna mix em in randomly in each bottle of ibuprofen? Gonna sell one bottle full of A and one bottle full of B? How will you communicate what half you’re getting to buyers? How will this make you more money than just being a normal Evil Pharmaceutical Megacorp? How will this money even make its way back to the criminal organizations you’re buddying up with if you’re selling them in fuckin walgreens.

It’s not necessarily prescription-only, the weird marketing video they made for. fucking Turbo Heroin specifically talks about the potential to distribute it literally anywhere, including in grocery stores, EVENTUALLY some kid is gonna open a bottle of painkillers, take the last A one with the one from another bottle (which is B), or take several different medicines at once like a lot of people with allergies, or whatever, and then have the worst trip of their fucking life. And this would happen again and again, because you can’t just count on ‘don’t worry about it’ if you’re gonna distribute it that widely, eventually SOMEONE’S gonna do it on accident, and the larger the population, the more often it’s gonna happen, especially considering they plan on bringing that shit to Earth.

So like. What’s the plan then? Because it’s not like the Tylenol Murders where it happens a handful of times because of one individual idiot putting cyanide in random medicine bottles, where the fix is ‘let’s put tamper-proof seals on these now’, this would happen on a pretty fuckin mass scale. like, WAY too mass to be a historical footnote you learn about decades later from two dudes on a history podcast. This is the largest corporation in human society lacing EVERY SINGLE GELATIN CAPSULE DRUG THEY PRODUCE with Turbo Heroin and the way they’ll get away with it is...assuming people won’t accidentally take A and B at the same time, or notice that the drug identification labels all have pretty consistent misprints, or that eventually every teenager on earth would learn this and abuse it constantly, or that. idk. some narcotics unit won’t eventually go ‘hey wait maybe we should test the capsule itself instead of the contents’.

This is of course somehow LESS stupid than ‘hey what if we made a bajillion little autonomous robot mosquitoes and had them secretly microdose random civilians with powerful narcotics, for free. that sounds like a good and profitable idea’.

...alright honestly that and the Professional Powerpoint Presentation that Tokugawa made for various mafias about ‘what our commercial heroin distribution system can do for YOU’ were the only things i was really like ‘thats bullshit’ about by the end, i guess the other thing is that they did Anna kinda dirty with her character design. im sorry girl you deserve better

[kwaggysshardmindemporium]

Hey guess who just remembered they haven't done a blog about albums in like two weeks hint it's me. See, I normally do them during downtime at work, was home from work for a week because reasons, and thus snapped myself out of the habit. So here's some rapid fire albums.

Reign In Blood by Slayer. So, I do talk about this on Tumblr occasionally but I'm Jewish. The opening song of this album made me DEEPLY uncomfortable as it's a song about Mengele. I thought the band was mining my culture's suffering for content at best, glorifying Nazis at worst. I did some googling about it to see if this was the case, and found a quote that said essentially "I didn't put any lyrics condemning Mengele's cruel experiments because if I need to TELL you they're atrocities I can't help you." And like fuck man 11/10 attitude honestly. Doesn't make me like the song as it's still a rough listen, but I respect that. Anyway, rest of the album is good. 3/5.

Either Or by Elliott Smith. This album was boring and this far out from having listened to it I cannot remember a god damn thing about it. I apparently gave it a 3/5. Moving on.

The Only Ones by The Only Ones. Similarly, don't remember a god damn thing in hindsight about this album. Also 3/5.

Let It Be by The Replacements. Same story, same rating. 3/5. This is why I try to do the blogs same day when I remember, folks. Would like to quickly clarify that these ratings aren't a "default"score, but specifically the rating I gave it the following day when I generated the next album.

Urban Hymns by The Verve. This album wasn't my thing, but I was still impressed by what they were going for. The album starts with their famous song "Bittersweet Symphony," and climbs and climbs in energy, then drops the energy off a cliff for the last few songs. It is genuinely pretty effective, makes you pay attention, and really takes you places. It's genuinely cool. I didn't really LIKE the songs much, but I respect the creative choices. Also a 3/5, but with a recommendation you listen anyway because I could see someone being inspired to make something truly fucking amazing listening to this.

Seventeen Seconds by The Cure. This one hurts y'all. I like The Cure. They're a good band. This album sucks in a way that isn't even fun to unpack. 2/5.

Technique by New Order. Okay so I only know New Order from like "Blue Monday," while is a cool but very dreary song and very much not my thing. This album punched my expectations in the face, doused them in gasoline, then tossed a match at them while they tried to get back up. It's just plain fucking fun to listen to and you should listen to it. 4/5. If you're wondering based on that statement why it's not a 5, you gotta really understand how low my expectations were on this.

World Clique by Deee Lite. This album isn't very good and "Groove Is In The Heart" is an overrated song. This feels like an opinion that might be controversial maybe but whatever. 2/5.

Play by Moby. This album starts fun and then gets progressively less fun the further you go, to the point where I was begging the album to end about three songs before it actually did, so the rating here is kind of like the average of the first half of the album and the last half. "South Side" is still a fucking jam, but the rest of it ain't gonna change your life. 3/5

Lastly, Groovin' by The Young Rascals. This album has the unfortunate distinction of having a song that played on the work radio when I worked at Walgreens (the title track), and so I automatically hate that song. Listening to it in private on my morning drive didn't make it better. But I'm also not gonna give it an auto-1 because I have unresolved emotions about my former employers. "You Better Run" is a fun song. 3/5.

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Series Rewatch (#12)

S3 E12: Born This Way.

Episode description: Dr. Manning and Dr. Choi are faced with a tough decision.

Literally when are they not.

Okay, last episode ended with the first Ava/Connor kiss, so this episode should be a rollercoaster of emotions.

let’s get into it.

- okay, already we’re starting in connor’s apartment, so cue ava walking in bc they slept together?

- i think its hilarious that her casual clothing is.. a flannel. like lmao idk

- it is so unbelievably funny and stupid to have a one night stand with someone you work closely with. i mean come on

- never forget that dr. ava bekker has a fish tank

- this is exhausting. the tentative back and forth is so fucking exhausting

- another bit of evidence. ava is never not confident, and especially not to this extent, and she never follows connor’s lead. so, the fact that she is standing back and waiting for him to make the decision? stupid.

- it screams that she is having a moment of anxiety, which is why she isn’t up to make the decisions in the exchange.

-to be clear: what i’m claiming here is that the only reason ava actually got with connor was bc she was having a moment of anxiety because he was the only person she had built a relationship with after living in this city for six months.

- when connor says that he has plans you can see her fold in on herself. this stems from a place of anxiety

- remember when they did surgery on the panda? that’s when the show peaked

- ava in her lab coat will never not get me. especially with the gloves, running towards a patient (very hot)

- connor still looks kinda looks like a mess but ava is immaculate here like what dude out of your league

- ava asking the family questions (ik this is standard doctor stuff but showing worry, interest, all that jazz)

- okay, see here! here! ava calls connor out, saying that his procedure is too invasive. before, ava’s procedures where invasive, which everyone used as evidence to her being super cold, but now, we see that she purely does what she deems best for the patient at hand

- also, once again, the concern ava feels. you can hear it in her voice. we forget this part of her way too often

- the smile on ava’s face when she gives the family good news. god wept

- and then more concern when connor tells her they need to put him on ecmo

- the reason that ava is frustrated that connor didn’t go with her decision for their patient care is because she truly believes that if they don’t go with her treatment, he will die. don’t make it anything different. don’t argue she’s frustrated because he’s not listening to her. don’t make it anything about their relationship. she puts their patients care first and foremost

- there’s a stark shift in her demeanor when in the room with the parents vs. her alone with connor. in the room, you can see she’s stewing. she’s sucking on her teeth, she’s holding her emotions. she has control, she’s a professional. out of the room, she has full reign to be as mad with connor as she wants, which she does.

-AVA RAN INTO THE ROOM AGAIN WITH THE LAB COAT AND GLOVES AND IDK IT JUST HAS ME FEELING SOME KINDA WAY

- the way ava acknowledges everyone in the room (the nurse just informed them that the drug was running, ava nodded. just a little thing but yk)

- ava shaking her head at this sad, sad man (connor, who is floundering for a solution and misplacing his anger)

- their entire relationship is misplaced anger

- the fact that the last shot of the scene has connor in the foreground looking over the bed and ava watching from the door but ava is the one in focus - some cool cinematography points

- IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE MAGGIE GOES TO JAIL

- med really went all over the place

- JUST THE AMOUNT OF CONCERN ON AVA’S FACE. im gonna say it again. look me in the eyes and tell this women is a psychopath. the med writers are fucking insane

- and when the parents ask ava if she disagreed with connor’s treatment decision, she has every opportunity (and right, frankly) to throw him under the bus and undermine him. but still, she says “it’s a complicated situation.” like. she never ever makes it personal, or loses her head. especially not to a patient. and she doesn’t have to defend connor. he’s made a lot of mistakes, and taken it out on her a bunch of times. yet she’s still nice to him, when he’s not even in the room

- it’s insane

- this is also the legendary scene where she comforts the family. there’s not a lot that i haven’t already said. this is the scene that most exemplifies ava’s humanity, the way she seems to feel, at least residually, what these parents are going through (since she obviously hasn’t gone through anything like this herself [unless.]). the way she kneels down, and gets on the family’s personal level.

- I... okay listen. I absolutely HATE the parallel they pull her between the line “I believe whenever you do something out of love, it can never really be wrong” and connor. especially because they show him when she says that line. and yeah, there’s obviously a connection that can be drawn between the meaning of that line and her sociopathic behavior in s4 and s5.

- it honestly feels like when writing s4, the writers hit so much of a wall they just googled the most ‘iconic’ ava moments and thought ‘how can i use these in the worst way possible?’ That’s honestly probably what they did (ava’s first interaction with connor - ‘you better watch yourself,’ this moment). There is no nuance to her character in s4. it is astoundingly terrible.

- lets move on

- THE WAY CONNOR LOOKS AT AVA HER MAKES ME FUCKING SCARED. HE HAS NO EMOTION ON HIS FACE. I know that we’ve been screen capping ava throughout this series but can someone find pictures of connor looking at ava bc, i need yall to remember how weird he looks

- like, no shade to connor, but just the emotion is undecipherable, but it is in no way a good one

- ava getting concerned (and looking slightly embarrassed) when she sees connor watching her by the door. obviously yeah she’s gonna feel weird you just caught her in a very uncharacteristic moment, outwardly expressing comfort. fucking back off

- i am so fucking protective of her and i demand he no longer look at her. it’s banned

- sam abrams looking at sarah’s dad’s head ct and asking if he’s a criminal. oh boy 

- from a writer’s perspective, the storyline with sarah’s dad is actually pretty good

- ava ran into the room with gloves and lab coat again, if anybody wanted to know

- for the record, want it to be noted, ava was the one who realized that it was an issue with the machine again, so you could say she fixed connor’s mistake, again. so.

- connor making a big deal about handing the reins over to ava (if he really was selfless he wouldn’t have made a whole big thing, he still has an enormous hero complex)

- handing off control was very hard for him. boo hoo get some fucking humility I think they sell it at walgreens

- sarah fucking walking across the ed like she’s going to war. dramatic

- med really said pedophiles deserve rights with this ep huh

- anyway

- the way ava smiles

- the way she smiles when she turns him down. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? SHE TURNED HIM DOWN. in the aspect of the story i cannot remember why she turned him down, but hey, i’m happy

- and it only further proves my story that the hook up came from a place of anxiety, and this is her realizing how silly that decision was. and her smiling was her laughing at herself for making such a stupid decision

- ALSO. LET’S TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THIS DECISION, THE DECISION TO TURN HIM DOWN, HAPPENED IN THE SAME EPISODE WHERE SHE SAID ‘IF YOU DO SOMETHING FOR LOVE, IT’S NEVER REALLY WRONG’

- like she literally says ‘last night was a mistake.’

- honestly, it’s fucking hilarious. connor deserves nothing

- and the confusion on his face when she walks away. hilarious

- if you wanted to take this the reesker route you could argue that the idea of ‘a decision of love’ was ava coming to terms with her slight little crush, though i don’t know how clean it would be if you argue that she panicked and told herself those were feelings meant for connor. idk, i’ll have to think about it further

- watching sarah let herself be betrayed by both herself and the people around in the story surrounding her dad will never not be hard to watch

This was a very good episode, character wise, for all the reasons stated above. It just hammers home the point of how strong a character Ava was. Key word, of course, being ‘was’. My conclusion over the last two episodes is that this specific sexual encounter with Connor was born out of a moment of anxiety from Ava. I suggest that over that last few weeks or days she has been experiencing some amount of anxiety out of having been living in Chicago for six months and only having one interpersonal relationship. So, that idea kind of built where she told herself the reason she only had one relationship was because she was in love with him. Then. after going through the story with this kid and comforting his parents, she realizes that she never actually loved Connor and maybe has a thing for someone else. I’m glad that I keep coming up with more ideas for this character, I was afraid the initial theory was somewhat of a one-off, but this only proves the idea of the complexity to Ava’s character.

I’m sure it’ll get worse from here, though.

as always, thanks for sticking through

-

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Extra

[wxldchxld]

Hey so this is super ooc, but I know I have a lot of autistic friends and friends with cptsd on here that might find this interesting.

I’ve become a little bit of an earplug connoisseur this past year. I was never really given an option to use them as a kid in school and such, and had no idea how much they would benefit me in my life until I tried them out. So if you’ve been looking at a few of these popular earplug brands wondering if it’s worth it, I thought I’d give you my two cents about them.

Calmer/Calmer Mini

My first thing about this is don’t be a moron like I was. I did not realize these would ship from like---Germany. They shipped fast, but the importing on the US side took a stupid amount of time. I think it was like a month before I actually got these.

The second thing about these ear plugs is that I bought them hoping they would erase small noises that drive me bananas. Specifically the sound of markers on paper. It makes me want to go outside and rake my teeth against the concrete, and it’s a pretty big issue as I work with elementary grade students that use markers. They don’t do this at all. In fact, they aren’t going to help you block out little sounds at all.

What these do seem to do, at least for me, is make noises that are painfully loud a bit less painful. For instance I have a student whose stim is to clap very loudly, then give a high pitched “woo”. I can’t tell the kid not to stim (well I could but I’m not a monster so I won’t), but after a while it would start to really hurt my head and grate my nerves. With these in I don’t really get as bothered by it. I hear it, sure, but each clap doesn’t feel like an ice pick in my ears. My dog barking doesn’t make my ears crackle and ring like a radio on its last leg.

The big reason I wear these as opposed to other ear plugs, is they are sure discrete, and when you talk in them, it doesn’t sound like you’re yelling underwater. I tend to compensate by not talking or whispering, which doesn’t work while you’re teaching, and also doesn’t work out at restaurants and such. 

Do I wish they blocked out more sound? Yes. But thus far they are the best option I’ve found for my job, which involves a lot of me talking and singing. They’re comfortable, I wear them every day, and I definitely feel like I’ve gotten my money’s worth out of them. They’re able to be sanitized and will probably last me for years. Though I am curious to try the “pro” version and see if it actually does anything else---because they look almost identical in the photos lmao.

Loops

These are the other super popular ones right now, and they were my go-to earplug before the Calmers. I don’t like to touch foam, like at all, so foam earplugs aren’t really an option for me. 

I do really like my loops. Especially for noisy places. Like I love the movies but they used to be unbearably loud to go to. They dampen a lot of sound without completely canceling all noise around you. These are also my go-to in stores. I don’t have to talk to anyone there usually until check out. While I can use these in like restaurants and hear the people at my table fairly well, I can’t really talk back to them.

I think the big draw back for loops is price point. First off the carrying case you get with them is very small, and it’s plastic with a rubbery kinda hook which breaks fairly easily. I have resorted to keeping them in my wallet’s zipper pouch. I’m not really certain these are preferable to like, two dollar ear plugs from the drug store unless you have an aversion to foam like I do. I guess you could make an argument that these can be sanitized and reused for years to come. 

I also think they’re pretty tbh. And this is small and silly, but I’ve found a shop that sells like, earrings you can attach to them. I’ve always been too scared to get my ears pierced so like... Idk I think it’s cool lol.

Walgreens Silicone Earplugs

Probably your cheapest option. These weren’t bad but as usual in my life the “one size fits all” thing fucked me over. I felt like I was constantly shoving these back in my ear. I will probably try them again this summer though. I do not wanna take my more expensive ear plugs into the pool, and the last set of waterproof ear plugs I tried were not only very much not waterproof, but they hurt like a mother fucker to get out. Seeing as I’ve had an eardrum blow out in the past year, I’m trying to be super careful getting back in the pool.

Same issue with talking in these. You sound super loud. They aren’t as aesthetically appealing. These aren’t a bad option by any means, but I do like my other 2 a lot more.

These Evil Mother Fuckers

Don’t do this to yourself. These are an actual nightmare. Maybe I was using them wrong, maybe they were too big, maybe Satan himself used these as a butt plug. Whatever the reason, these things 1) were literally never comfortable for a single second 2) very much weren’t water proof bc the seal doesn’t hold and 3) hurt a LOT when you take them out. Again, maybe I’m stupid. Maybe I was doing it wrong. These were not for me.

Literally any Bluetooth Earphones

I honestly don’t notice a difference sound blocking wise between my loops and my cheap bluetooth earbuds that also play music. I think they were like 30 bucks on amazon. If you’re someone who can tolerate playing music in public, this might be your best option bc you aren’t only blocking sound, you’re drowning it out.

The draw back is they are bulkier than my loops and way more noticeable. I’ve only had a small handful of people ever notice my loops or calmers, and they’re very light weight. If you work somewhere that people might frown upon or straight up not allow you to listen to music, this might not be great. And again, the talking issue. 

I can’t really say anything about the headphones some people wear. I’ve never tried them because a) I don’t like how they feel sensory wise on top of my head and b) I don’t really want everyone to know I’m wearing noise reducers. I’m very open about my sensory issues, especially in front of my kids or any kids at the school, I think that’s important for them to see and know it’s normal and ok to use the tools they need. My coworkers all know I wear earplugs, but I don’t need passersby to look and see and make assumptions about me blocking out my kids. I know for children and for people who have issues putting things in their ears these can be fantastic options, and I think if you need them, fuck what other people think. Take care of you first. But I grew up in the age of earbuds, and I’ve been sticking shit in my ear as long as I can remember, so these are better options for me.

If anyone knows any other really good brands of ear plugs, dm me, because I’ll probably give them a go.

[connormurphyobsessed]

1,000 Piece Puzzle (Connor Murphy x reader imagine)

A/N: Hello beautiful humans! My first request complete! Yay! Also, I feel like I want to make this a series of experiences that Connor and the reader will go through with the pregnancy. Spoilers oops. Also, I’m going to post some headcanons tonight. Have a wonderful day!- Ella Requested: Yes! Words: 1415 Warnings: some swearing and this is a teen pregnancy one.

You always wanted to have kids, but not now, not even close to now. You pictured yourself married, in your late 20’s or 30’s, with a house that had picket fences and a minivan ready and prepped. This is not where you thought you would be, 17, sitting on the bathroom floor of a Walgreens, with a positive pregnancy test and crying your eyes out. It could be seen as ironic since you were crying like a baby because you found out you were carrying one, but you couldn’t manage to find any irony in this situation. Denial seemed like the best action, so you told yourself the test was wrong. You bargained with yourself, you would go to the local clinic to have them test it, find out that you aren’t pregnant and never mention any of this to anyone, especially Connor. This plan seemed foolproof.

You and Connor had been joined at the hip since you started dating over a year ago. To others he might have seemed closed off and cruel, but they never took the time to know him. You denied that he changed around you into someone better, in reality he was just his true self without all of the guards that he put up. This didn’t mean that he didn’t get angry or close down, but you knew why he did and he knew that you wouldn’t judge his reasons. Trust was beyond important in your relationship. You trusted him with your life and he trusted you with his. The love and trust you had didn’t mean that you weren’t terrified of telling him because in truth you were beyond terrified. You went to the appointment and to your fear you were pregnant. The doctor took her time with you and handed you pamphlet after pamphlet with every option you had. You thanked her and told her you would come back in later that week when you had your head on straight and could actually focus.

You had been ignoring Connor’s texts and phone calls all afternoon. Sure you felt bad, but you felt worse knowing that you would have to tell him. What would he say? What would he do? Would he run? Or get angry? A million different variations of these questions invaded your mind. You knew what you would do, deep down you knew, but what Connor would do seemed like a mystery that could only be solved by talking to him. You knew that after ignoring Connor for a few hours he would be sulking in his room or yours. You decided to start at his house since it was closer to you. You used the key under the planter and walked up to the room you knew so well. “Hey Connor,” you said softly as you pushed the door closed behind you. Connor immediately sat up. “Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been going crazy not knowing where you are,” he spoke. His words might have seemed angry but the worry on his face betrayed him. “I had some stuff I had to deal with,” you replied, not even looking him in the eyes. “Well that���s specific y/n.” “I just need you to hold me for a minute before I talk about it.” Connor just nodded, frustration seeping into him, but he sensed that he would need to question later and just hold you in the moment. You climbed into his bed and rested your head on his chest feeling it rise and fall with every inhale and exhale he made. You needed to hold onto him for a few minutes before you confessed, in case he left. You needed a simple and happy memory of him. You told yourself that no matter the reaction you would have these memories and that not telling him wouldn’t make the situation disappear so you may as well admit it to him. “I have something I need to tell you. It’s bad and it’s scary, I know that, but I still need to tell you,” you said while still laying on the bed with him. You felt his arms tighten around you and him take a large breath. “Okay.” “I’m not breaking up with you,” with those words he let out a deep sigh, “but you might break up with me after I tell you this.” You took a second before responding, treasuring the moment and every moment you had with each other. “I’m pregnant.” “Pregnant?” “Yes” “You sure?” “Very sure” “What do you want to do?” “Keep it,” you finally sat up and looked at him with tears spilling out of your eyes. His face was blank and his hands let go of yours. He stood up carefully and left the room. You sat on his bed staring at the door he walked out of. He just stood up and left. You were scared of this, but it was Connor, he promised to always be there for you. A few minutes later he walked back into the room and sat on the end of his bed. He clutched a worn out blanket with a balloon design covering it. “If we’re keeping it,” he spoke softly, “It'll need this blanket. I slept with it every night until I was 12. I used to believe it had good luck or some shit like that so our kid should have it.” Tears were now freely pouring out of your eyes. “You aren’t mad?” “Well I was part of the process so it wouldn’t be fair to get mad. Plus you’re carrying my baby so that would make me a fucking ass.” With that you grasped onto him for dear life while he put his arms around you again. “I’m scared Connor.” “I’m scared too y/n, but if we figured out that 1,000 piece puzzle together when the electricity went out we can do anything.”

With the appointment set up for later that week you and Connor decided not to tell anyone until you met with the doctor. When you entered the waiting room Connor found your hand and tightly held it until your name was called. The nurse took your vitals and information and gave you a gown to change into. You changed and sat on the exam table while Connor fiddled with your hands. “When the appointments done I can paint your nails.” “Only if I can paint yours.” “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” At that moment the doctor opened the door. She introduced herself to Connor as Dr. Laurens and greeted you with a warm smile. Dr. Laurens then went over all your basic information. She figured that with your last period you were around 8 weeks along. “Have you thought any more about your options? We will support you with any decision you make. If you choose to terminate we will be there with support, or if you choose to carry the baby we will also be able to give you all the prenatal care you need.” “I’m keeping the baby. I support a women’s choice, but that’s not the right path for me,” you said nervously. Connor leaned over and kissed your temple. “Won’t she need vitamins? I think I remember that my Aunt took them when she was pregnant.” “She will actually need those and many more things, but that can seem overwhelming, so let’s do the ultrasound first. It usually makes it easier to take in all the things you need to do when you know what it’s for.” The doctor set everything up and started the ultrasound. She showed you where the baby’s heartbeat was and confirmed that you were between 8 to 10 weeks along. Half listening all you and Connor could do was watch the life that you had made. It was so small and so precious, and Connor already felt the intense need to protect you and your child.

You and Connor left the appointment with vitamins, appointments set up, lots of information, and an ultrasound of your already beautiful child. You sat in the car together and looked at the photo for 10 minutes before pulling out of parking lot. The love you both felt for the small growing child inside of you was so large that all both of you could do was place gentle hands on your stomach. You knew this would be a lot more complicated than a puzzle, but that didn’t matter the moment you saw the baby you created together.

[sudowoodo]

hey! do you have any makeup brands to recommend?

YEZ but i’m still playing around with brands right now, not including only cruelty free brands so if that’s something you’re specifically looking for you’ll have to look up the brand and check for urself. 

drugstore favorites (Walgreens, CVS, Ulta, Walmart, etc): 

NYX

E.L.F (their brushes are awesome for the price and average like $3)

Milani (SERIOUSLY THE BEST EVER IF I’M BEING HONEST. LIPSTICKS, BLUSHES, HIGHLIGHTERS ARE AWESOME AND PROBABLY HAVE OTHER AMAZING FINDS TOO BUT I HAVEN’T TRIED EVERYTHING)

Flower Beauty

Wet N Wild apparently have great reviews for blushes and highlighters, I wouldn’t know though)

No 7

Colourpop (online only for now but they’re coming to sephora eventually)

Crown Cosmetics (now okay, important, pls hear me out: I personally haven’t tried brushes with the name “Crown Brushes” on it, but I do know that Morphe’s brushes are literally Crown brushes with their name slapped on it because Morphe pays them for private labeling. So, I was GOING to say Morphe’s brushes are an alternative to buying cheaper brushes than Sigma (but don’t beat the quality of blending imo) BUT Crown Brushes are literally the same thing except cheaper. If you buy from Morphe, you’re paying for the same product, just a higher price b/c their name is attached to it. You get me? So, if that’s the route you want to take, buy from Crown, not Morphe. Everyone has their preferences so you may like them more than Sigma or Elf)

Higher End (Sephora, Ulta, etc)

Benefit

Juvia’s Place (online only?) (I’m torn on this because I’m in love with their eyeshadow palettes, and while I personally haven’t had any issues with them, apparently there has been lots of absent customer service. Though, I feel like many makeup brands have had some shit in their past & this is applicable to others mentioned here but I’m just trying to base this list off of the quality of the products being great.)

Sugar Pill

Smashbox

Tarte

Too Faced (not their eyeshadows though lol)

Sigma (online only?) for their brushes 

aaand yeah honorable mention to Urban Decay for being the only brand I actually hate because of how shit their products are and for how expensive it is. I can’t believe they’re listed as a high end brand while putting out patchy ass unpigmented eyeshadows that fucking drugstore brands put out for 1/4 the price. I own their All Nighter foundation too which I don’t think is their fault for me not liking. It’s like putting paint on my skin and clings to all the dryness despite how moisturized my face is so I think people with non dry skin will like it but it kinda fuels me to not purchase from them again lol

There’s a lotta brands I want to try but didn’t mention cus I wanted to list the ones I have tried more than 1 thing from and liked/still use

[s1mpl3sp0ng3]

after a long day of working on projects for school i come home to find out someone is stealing from my bank account, specifically they keep going to walgreens and redbox. they've stolen most of my paycheck and keep taking from my savings.

hey whoever you are, go fuck yourself. i worked my ass off for that money and a chickenshit like you just fucking steals it to buy dvds and useless shit?? i hope someone jams a shovel up your ass.