#[ me? writing hank being emotionally vulnerable ]

[bitterbadge]

“it’s my job to protect you.” - From Deviant Connor

protector / protectee - accepting

      A quiet huff of strained laughter left him, head shaking as he stared hard at the ground. He could feel his goddamn blood pressure rising with each passing moment and frankly? He could tear his own hair out at this rate. In all his years Hank had never met anyone as stubborn as an Android – and that was saying something coming from him. 

      “ No, Connor. Your job is to outshine us human workers and prove our incompetency as well as render us obsolete to the corporate shareholders, ” he couldn’t stop the biting words as he raised the burger to his mouth and ripped a piece out of it. It was far from dignified but his testy mood stopped him from caring. “ Look – I don’t need nannying like I’m about to expire any goddamn moment. I’ve been doing this job for twenty odd years and I’m still standing strong in spite of what you might hear. This is my work. This is what I do. And I don’t need you or anyone else to take care of me. ” 

       With a grimace, the lieutenant grabbed the rest of his meal and dumped it with a snort. “ I’m not hungry anymore. If it’s all the same? I’m gonna walk back to the Precinct and you can take the car. ”

[margueritehall]

CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME? - YMCULC

all the king's horses, all the king's men, couldn’t put me together again

( the archer ; taylor swift )

marguerite ( maggie ) brynn hall, the gentle bad-ass 

“ show me a hero and i’ll write you a tragedy. ” 

― f. scott fitzgerald

– BASIC INFORMATION – 

» full name: marguerite brynn hall

» nicknames: maggie, mags, margie

» age: twenty seven ( at time of snap ), thirty two ( at time of blip )

» birthday: january eighth, nineteen-ninety-one, ten fifty-five in the morning 

» birthplace: philadelphia, pennsylvania

» zodiac sign: capricorn sun, libra moon, aries ascendent 

» current residence: new york, new york

» gender: cis female

» occupation: social worker for the stark relief foundation displaced children division, later avenger trainee

– HEALTH – 

» physical health: overall, maggie is in excellent health. she works out most weekday mornings and tends to eat a balanced diet. she doesn’t drink too often or smoke at all. she knows that her health conscious habits stem from her need to control everything that she is able to but that doesn’t stop her from being set in her ways.

» scars: she has several small scars from various bumps and scrapes but there is a sizeable scar on the front of her left shoulder from a car accident while she was a freshman in college. a driver t-boned her small sedan in an intersection when she was on her way home from a final exam. when she woke up in the hospital, with both of her parents at her bedside, she had stitches stretching approximately three inches from her clavicle towards her upper arm. 

» broken (any) bones: surprisingly, despite being quite active, maggie hasn’t ever broken a bone. she’s quite graceful from taking dance classes since she could walk until she graduated high school.

– MENTAL HEALTH – 

» extrovert or introvert: since getting older, maggie has become comfortable with the knowledge that she is a relatively private person. when she was younger, she enjoyed being in crowds however, she now tends to retract into her shell when surrounded by too many people. 

» logical or creative: maggie is incredibly logical; she is very formulaic in her thought patterns. when it comes to problem solving, maggie has all but got it down to a science which can be effective but she’d be incorrect to say it was without fault. 

» optimist or pessimist: neither term seems to describe the woman very well; she feels as though she’d call herself a realist. the world has let her down more times than she can count so she makes an effort to always adjust her expectations towards the most-likely event.

» phobias / fears: 

» problems: maggie was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder when she was sixteen. she goes through occasional bouts of depression but she doesn’t find it to be chronic. though undiagnosed, following the death of her parents, she experiences the effects of post-traumatic stress. 

– PERSONALITY – 

» goals / dreams: maggie has always wanted to improve the world around her. when she was a little girl, she told her parents that she wanted to be the first doctor to go to space. when she found out that she’d have to be in space for months at a time, she quickly changed her plans. the brain always fascinated her and so she dove headfirst into her newfound passion. following the deaths of her parents, maggie wanted to help others like she wished that she had been and so she, once more, switched gears and went into social work. 

» quirks / habits: maggie is a creature of habit. each morning, she wakes up and opens the curtains around the house before pouring herself a cup of cold brew coffee with cinnamon syrup and oat milk. she makes her bed and begins her day. when she gets home from work, she turns on her fairy lights and fans before removing her makeup and changing in to cozy clothes. as for quirks, maggie wouldn’t say she has any but her friends would be quick to point out her concentration face-- whenever she gets deep in to a hard task, her eyebrows screw up tightly and her lips purse. she doesn’t like to look in mirrors when the room is dark, she only gets out of bed on the left side, and she habitually sings in the shower even when she isn’t home alone.

» likes: precipitative weather like rain storms or snow ( especially thunderstorms ), vinyl records, lighting candles and allowing them to light the room, cooking or baking anything from scratch, old books with notes in the margin from an owner long forgotten, astronomy and any associated phenomena ( especially eclipses and meteor showers ), fleetwood mac and other classic rock icons, acts of service from loved ones, dogs with smushed faces, taylor swift, watching films (or rewatching films, whether new or old), freshly brewed tea, watching the sun set and staying awake to see it rise again, wisteria vines twisting around a fence, ‘casablanca’, f. scott fitzgerald novels, anything that is a dusty shade of sage green, tom hanks, vanilla bean ice cream (not french vanilla), using a polaroid camera to capture a moment, iced coffee with cinnamon, the beach during winter when the northern shores get a little bit icy, long drives at night with the windows down, sitting on the roof in a companionable silence with a loved one,  the color of deep maroon rust, cozy throw blankets and an unnecessary amount of pillows on the couch and bed

» dislikes: too much physical touch, indifference or apathy in the face of injustice, the deafening sound of crickets and cicadas at night, showing any signs of vulnerability, open-toed shoes, powdery or floral scents, olives, thin pillows, overhead lighting (lamps only, thank you very much), lack of a routine, being unable to read situations and prepare adequately, not feeling in control of any situation, harlequin novels, ladybugs and any other insects, disorganization (physically or emotionally.)

» flaws: she feels the need to always be the strong one that she often doesn’t allow herself the freedom to feel without pushing it down. she has a habit of not letting people in, especially people who are new to her, and even when she does, she is always terrified that she’ll lose them like she’s lost most other people that she loved. she is a control freak and can sometimes be a little boss.

– FAMILY – 

» parents:       ; phillip hugh hall ( father / pierce brosnan )      ; allison marie hall née clark ( mother / jamie lee curtis )    

» maternal grandparents:      ; richard ernest clark ( grandfather / tony curtis )      ; virginia ruth clark née franklin ( grandmother / janet leigh )

» paternal grandparents:      ; hugh alexander hall ( grandfather / kris kristofferson )      ; marguerite joan hall née green ( grandmother / ellen burstyn )

» sibling(s): n/a

» children: n/a

– APPEARANCE – 

» height: five feet, two inches

» weight: one hundred fifteen pounds

» eyes: maggie’s eyes are one of her most striking features. the espresso brown orbs are speckled with golden flecks; they’re a rounded, almost almond shape.

» hair: her hair is chestnut brown and it has a tendency to gleam copper and slightly golden when the light reflects off of it. for the majority of her life, she had a tendency of keeping the gentle waves cropped into a side-parted, blunt bob that rested just above her shoulders. she typically wore her hair straight or blown out. following the snap, she allowed it to grow out beyond its typical length. she keeps it trimmed to just below her shoulder blades with a set of wispy curtain bangs to compliment the natural waves that she now maintains.

» face and complexion: maggie has a light skin tone that tans in the sun. she has no freckles on her face but has quite a few down her chest and arms; none of them are very dark. she has a round face which can almost be cherubic but as she’s gotten older, she has developed a sharp jawline that makes her look more mature despite her stature. her rounded almond eyes are lined with thick, dark lashes. she has a small button nose that pinches minutely at its tip as it turns slightly upwards. her brows are full and straight with only a slight arch. she has full cheeks with small dimples that frame her smile. maggie’s lips are typically tinted a red berry shade; her bottom lip is slightly more voluminous than its top counterpart which is home to a sharp cupid’s bow. 

» build: maggie is petite, to say the least. she stands just slightly over five feet tall and weighs just over one hundred pounds. though slim, her figure is a narrow hourglass. despite her size, she’s quite agile and strong. years of channeling all of her emotions in to ballet as a child caused a habit that has yet to die. when she feels the need to get rid of excess emotion, she runs or attends a fitness class to channel that away.  

» defining marks: when she was eighteen, maggie and her best friend poppy got matching tattoos. on the inside of her left wrist, there is a small crescent moon to match a sun on poppy’s. following her parents death, she got a second tattoo and on the inside of her upper arm, close to the crook of her elbow, there is one of two ravens perched on a branch. several months after the blip, she got another tattoo. on her right side, on her ribs under her bra-line, there’s a small star housed within four concentric circles. 

» dress style: maggie’s fashion sense is on the border between classic and trendy. she doesn’t stray too far away from her comfort zone or wear too many patterns. she tends to stick to jewel tones and neutrals. for her work, her style tends to be business casual-- typically a blouse with a skirt or wide legged trousers and a heel. when she’s at home, an oversized sweater and leggings or pajama shorts are her go-to uniform. if she’s out running errands, she loves a flowy skirt or a pair of mom jeans with one of her dad’s old, classic band tees. her shoes are typically a revolving door of plain keds or converse, ankle boots, or a small heel.

» faceclaim: jenna louise coleman

– ROMANTIC & SEXUAL – 

» marital status: she is unmarried.

» sexual preference: although maggie is primarily heterosexual, she’s never been closed off to the idea of dating anyone of the same gender if she found that she was attracted to them.

» ever had sex: she had sex for the first time when she was a freshman in college; it was with her boyfriend at the time, nicholas gray. as she’s gotten older, she has had a variety of companions-- some were romantic partners, several one-night-stands, and two attempted friends-with-benefits arrangements. 

» opinion on sex: maggie isn’t ashamed to say that she enjoys sex and the freeing feeling that comes with it. 

» opinion on relationships: although she likes the idea of a relationship, maggie’s fear of not being in control makes it difficult to maintain one. before the snap, she had only been in one long-term relationship which she abruptly ended after the death of her parents. she found that it was easier to try and turn off her feelings than to deal with them as everything in her life changed. since graduating with her second degree, maggie has been trying to open herself back up to dating and the possibility of a relationship.

» turn ons: the feeling of someone brushing her hair off of her face, being praised, bravery, kindness, interlacing fingers when holding hands, a genuine smile, sincerity, strong hands, bright eyes, taller men, a strong jawline, delicate kisses that gradually deepen into something more, kisses down the neck, deep conversations and debates, cologne that isn’t overpowering

» turn offs: sleazy behavior, apathy towards important issues, party-scene demeanor, bragging, lying, being late, ill-fitting clothes, lacking ambition or drive for moving forward

» past relationships:       ; nicholas gray ( first love / ben barnes )

» current relationship:      ; n/a 

» future relationship:       ; steve rogers ( tbd / chris evans )      ; bucky barnes ( tbd / sebastian stan )

– FRIENDSHIP – 

» big group of friends or several close friends: maggie would rather have a smaller quantity of people in her life with better quality relationships than to have a large group of friends that she feels as though she doesn’t know. 

» best friend: maggie was a relatively lonely child; she spent a lot of her time reading and imagining her life in other worlds. she had some friends but none that ever ventured further than the occasional hangout. when she was a freshman in highschool, she sat next to poppy stewart on their first day of orientation and the two have been inseparable ever since.  

» ever lied to a friend: she’s told white lies when necessary but she’s never lied about something earth-shattering.

» the most horrible thing they did to a friend: when maggie broke up with nicholas, she left him a letter on his pillow before she left his apartment one morning. she avoided his calls afterwards and didn’t speak to him for several weeks until he came to her apartment to try and work things out. later in her life, maggie felt extremely guilty that she wasn’t able to confide in poppy about steve’s plan until after he had already left.

» list of friends -      ; poppy stewart ( best friend / annie murphy / @petalsofpoppys )      ; pepper potts ( boss, friend / gwenyth paltrow )      ; tony stark ( boss, family friend / robert downey jr )      ; natasha romanoff ( co-worker, close friend / scarlett johansson )      ; steve rogers ( co-worker, friend, boyfriend / chris evans )      ; bucky barnes ( friend, lover, boyfriend / sebastian stan )      ; sam wilson ( friend / anthony mackie )      ; wanda maximoff ( future friend / elizabeth olsen )      ; monica rambeau ( future friend / teyonah parris )

– MORALITY – 

» ever been drunk: the first time that maggie got drunk was her senior year of high school; she was at a house party with poppy and she since vowed to never touch any drink with ‘punch’ in the name, ever again.

» lied to a significant other: following the death of her parents, maggie never disclosed her tumultuous emotions to nicholas and so he was blindsided when she left him on one random morning. with an apologetic  note of a goodbye, maggie made sure no trace was left behind when she slipped from the apartment in to the warm summer breeze.

» cheated on significant other: maggie would never cheat on a partner. she would rather end things than break someone’s trust in her.

» gotten into a fight: she’s never gotten in to a physical altercation but following her move in to the avenger’s compound, natasha and steve helped to train her tactically. after she moved back to the city, bucky takes up the position of being her trainer. 

» deepest regret: not telling her parents how much she looked up to both of them before they died. 

» religion: maggie was not raised to be religious. her parents always emphasized the importance of trying to be morally good whenever you could. she identifies as an atheist.

– MISCELLANEOUS – 

» playlist: https://rb.gy/kxqfbu

» instagram:

» gifboard:

» character inspiration: leia organa (star wars trilogy), alex parrish (quantico), emma swan (once upon a time), amy pond (doctor who), buffy summers (buffy the vampire slayer), emily prentiss (criminal minds), lily evans (harry potter)

[wolveria]

Okay. I totally haven't been marking off the ketters as you write them... but... The last few letter of the alphabet. G, H, I, T, and Y! (Thank you! This Nines content is exactly what I've been looking for! The way you wrote him is literally my favorite!)

I’m so happy someone is indulging me and letting me share my Nines headcanons on tumblr. I think I’ve only talked about them on discord until now!

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) 

Nines might seem like Mr. Serious on the surface, and out of his brothers he definitely is, but he’s also a sassy little shit. All the RK boys are and that’s a fact. So he might not be as awkward-funny as Connor, or as sarcastic as Sixty, but he’s got a type of dry humor that can be very cutting like the old Victorian maid he is.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) 

Nines’ style is always on point and a hair is never out of place. He wasn’t designed with any pubic hair, CyberLife didn’t even bother to give him a dick, and he doesn’t think to rewrite his skin design to give himself any additional body hair. It’d probably a hassle to try and grow synthetic hair, but if his partner was into it he might consider it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Emotional intimacy is... very difficult for Nines. Pretty much impossible before he deviates, and if he does deviate, it’s still a struggle. He wasn’t built to integrate into human social circles like Connor was. Being any types of vulnerable, physically or emotionally, would seem entirely irrational to him. But with the help of the other RK boys and Hank, he learns it’s okay to be emotional, and any partner he had would have to be very understanding of the fact this is an area that doesn’t come to him naturally.

But once he gets to that point where he can be intimate and affectionate... the boy is Soft. Unlike how dominant he can be during sex, Nines is hesitant and careful with gentle touches. “Local Android Designed for Killing Just Wants to be Held like a Teddy Bear.”

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Nines probably doesn’t have any toys, to be honest. He wouldn’t have much of a desire for sexual exploration (with the exception of the rare jacking off) but he wouldn’t mind using toys on his partner.

Fucking his partner open on a dildo while coolly observing them would definitely be some kinky shit he’d be into. For science, of course.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) 

This is a tricky one. Physically, he doesn’t have a sex drive. He wasn’t programmed with seduction protocols or designed with a dick (which the RK800 models do have), but mentally he’s a horny horny boy. Not for sex, specifically. He’s more of a [insert-partner-name-here]-sexual. Everything about them distracts him and makes him lose focus on his tasks, and for a supposedly laser-focused killing machine, that’s pretty significant.

So, does Nines have a typical sex drive? Not really. Would he bang his partner across every surface of the DPD if he had the chance? Absolutely.

Headcanon Game - A to Z (NSFW)

[jessicasimpsonsource]

Bio Of Jessica

Hundreds of hopefuls make their way to Nashville every year, looking to stake their own claim to fame in country music. Some arrive with nothing more than a guitar and lyric-filled notebook under their arm, everything they own packed in the bed of a rundown truck. Some, discovered in a honky-tonk or roadhouse in their home town, ride in on the promise of a publishing deal or recording contract, visions of gold records and tricked-out tour busses dancing in their heads.

Very few however arrive in Music City with as much baggage as Jessica Simpson. Not since 1970 when Hank Williams, Jr. signed the biggest recording contract in MGM history has so much doubt and criticism faced a young artist. Unlike Williams who was burdened by the ghost of his legendary father, the shadow Simpson is trying to escape is largely her own. Preconceptions based on her tremendously successful career as a pop singer, a brief marriage on display in a reality program, the subsequent post-marital tumult, headline generating relationships and awkward professional stumbles have woven a tapestry of misconceptions around her.

Early Life + Career

The news last year that Simpson planned to come to Nashville to make a country record was met with a resounding scoff by a chorus of naysayers, many of them members of the very industry she was hoping to join. And that was the polite response.

The quietest voice amid all the din has been that of Jessica Simpson herself. But with the release of Do You Know, her first album on Epic/Columbia Nashville, the doe-eyed Texas beauty makes it perfectly clear she not only has a voice, but a point of view colored by life experience beyond her years, and plenty to say. She hopes to not only quiet her critics, but give the country music industry and audience something else to talk about—her undeniable talent and gift as a country singer/songwriter.

“There is a perception of who I am out there that has little to do with me,” she says quietly but with conviction. “I appreciate the fact that there are skeptics out there, that people may be doubtful and may not trust this effort. But what I want people to know and understand is I don’t have one foot in pop and one foot in country. I have made the commitment to country music. I look forward to reviews, no matter what they are. I look at it as constructive criticism. If anything, it just pushes me to do better the next time.”

Simpson has been pushing herself her entire life, frequently through devastating disappointment and heartbreak. While it is clichéd to tag failure as the starting point for success, the public would be surprised to know how many times the girl who seems to have it all was left empty-handed. Through it all, her family and faith have provided a rock solid base from which she draws strength and inspiration.

Like many country singers, her first musical exposure and singing experience was in church. “My father was a minister and evangelist, so growing up, I was surrounded by gospel music. Living in Texas, we also had a lot of country music. In our home, there were records by Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson, and records by CeCe Winans and Amy Grant. When I was little, I would sing at the places where my dad spoke, we were a duo!”

As time went on, she found herself seeking the spotlight. “As I got older, I started to feel like I didn’t want to be in the choir, I wanted to sing louder than everyone else. If I was in a musical, I hogged the microphone!”

Her early focus was on dance and she was on the competition circuit, which also included vocal contests. When her dance instructor noticed that her pupil had an affinity for singing, she encouraged her to enter a competition, and in her first stab at it, she won. When word came of a chance to audition for the new Mickey Mouse Club, the 12-year-old jumped at it. “I did a dance to ‘Ice Ice Baby’ and an a cappella version of ‘Amazing Grace.’ There were 50,000 kids who auditioned and I got to go to Florida with the final eight.”

She was crushed when she received a letter from Disney saying she hadn’t made it, particularly when so many people she knew did: Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling and Keri Russell. “My mom told me not to worry, that I would see those kids again somewhere down the road. Even though I didn’t make the show, I think it was then that my parents realized maybe they weren’t being just proud parents, that maybe there was something there within me.”

Not long afterwards, Simpson was invited to contribute to an album recorded with a gospel choir in New Jersey, which led to recording her first solo album—also gospel, in Nashville. Like her Mickey Mouse Club rejection, it was another setback for the 15-year-old. “I was telling my friends and people at my school that I was making a record that would be on the radio. But the label folded right before the record was to be pressed. When you’re that young and someone promises you something, you believe them. I was so disappointed.”

Her grandmother ended up paying for the record to be pressed, and the Simpsons sold it as they toured the Christian music circuit. It was one of those recordings that eventually caught the ear of mega music biz mogul Tommy Mottola who signed her to a pop music deal with Columbia Records and released her label debut, Sweet Kisses, in 1999.

Fast forward through a lightning-fast rise to the top of the pop charts: double-platinum certification for Sweet Kisses, its breakthrough hit “I Wanna Love You Forever”; the 2002 follow-up CD Irresistible which crossed over to four different charts.

It was in making her third album that she was first introduced to the Nashville songwriting community. “I wanted to do some writing for the record and my A&R person at the time pointed me to Nashville, where some of her favorite writers were. I loved it, but the label thought what I was writing with them was too country, and they had signed me to sing pop. I would listen to those demos over the years and knew I would go back to Nashville one day.”

But meanwhile, the whirlwind of her increasingly successful professional life and increasingly public personal life took on a virtual life of its own, with the line between the two becoming nearly indistinguishable. Almost simultaneous with the release of In This Skin in 2003 was the launch of the massively successful reality show documenting every moment of her marriage to new husband Nick Lachey, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica. Though the program—which ran for 41 episodes until March 30, 2005—ratcheted up both album sales and Simpson’s star quotient, it also contributed to the public’s perception of the blonde bombshell as ditzy and dimwitted, an assessment that family and friends knew to be inaccurate and hurtful.

Far more hurtful was the unhappiness within the marriage that led to its disintegration and very public dissolution. It was during that period that the label was pressing her to make and release another record. Barely two months after her divorce was finalized on June 30, 2006, A Public Affair was released. “It was incredibly hard to promote that record. I wasn’t in a place where I could be honest, and I wasn’t able to be strong enough for the world.”

Though it would be a year before Joe Simpson told People magazine that his daughter was thinking of “returning to her roots” and recording a country record, the journey back to Nashville had begun well before that.

“I took the long way around to get back to where I came from,” she says. “Back where I belong. I think to be able to sing country music honestly, you have to experience life. There is so much honesty in the music, and if you are not honest, the fans will know it. Fans are the absolute lifeblood of country music, and they won’t respond to you unless they believe you.”

The first step was believing in herself and trusting her co-writers. She went to Nashville in 2007 to begin. “The process started with sitting down with these amazing songwriters and forcing myself to be vulnerable. I was so paranoid at the time, so overwhelmed by the tabloids. I wasn’t even living my own life. The first time I sat down to write was with Brett James and Hillary Lindsey. I write things in my Blackberry, and I was telling them some of my thoughts and ideas and they were writing them down. They were respectful of what I was sharing. At that moment, it felt right. I knew that we were partners and I didn’t have to be afraid that they would pick up the phone, call the tabloids and say, ‘Guess what Jessica Simpson is going through?’ I shared so much with my writers. They know me so well now; they know my sadness and my joy, my hurt and my happiness, my disappointments and my hopes. They are some of my closest friends.

“In order to do this record, I had to be vulnerable and I had to trust. After writing sessions, Cacee [Cobb, who did A&R for album] and I would go back to the house we were renting and I would be so emotionally drained. Writing sessions were like therapy. It was hard to go through, but afterwards, you’ve let it go, and you feel so much lighter. The weight of denial is very hard to live with. Writing this record was so freeing to me.”

If the writing—which resulted in her name on eight of eleven cuts—was freeing, the time spent in studios with producers Brett James and John Shanks recording those songs was exhilarating.

“The first day in the studio we cut three songs: ‘Come On Over,’ ‘Might As Well Be Making Love’ and ‘Sipping On History.’ I had been living with the demos for so long, it just happened. With music, when it’s right, it happens so quickly and so easily. It felt so good! I felt like I was back to who I really am.”

Perhaps the last song cut for the record was the most meaningful to Simpson, representing a remarkable gift of grace and redemption from one of her most humiliating public moments. In December 2006, while participating in a tribute to one of her all-time idols Dolly Parton at the Kennedy Center Awards, Simpson botched the lyrics to the song, in front of an audience that included President Bush, and of course Parton herself. “I should never have been on that stage at that time. I had gone through a break-up the night before and I had not been on stage in a year and a half. My heart was there, and I so much wanted to honor Dolly. But my mind was not with it. That night was really the lowest of the low. I apologized to Dolly and she was so kind to me. She said, ‘I wrote the song and I forget the words! Don’t you worry about it.’ In the months after, she would send me little notes of encouragement; she reminded me that we are who we are born to be. She took me under her wing and brought me to another level of faith.

“When we were recording this record I knew I wanted one of her songs. She gave me a batch of 12 songs to listen to, then called and said she didn’t think any of them were right and was sending over some more. ‘Do You Know’ was the first song of that bunch and I knew it was right. I loved it. We cut it and sent it to her and she was so supportive and flattering. Then she offered to sing on it and ‘Dollyize it.’ I just couldn’t believe it. Our voices blended so well together. Listening to that song now just makes me smile. The experience at the Kennedy Center ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

After a lengthy absence, Simpson is back where she feels happy and comfortable, on stage in front of a live audience. Each performance, she previews each of the songs with a story, sharing with the audience the truth behind the song. “It’s like a live listening party every night. What is so great about this record and these songs is that I don’t have to embellish them. They don’t need a pyro display to get the point across and I don’t have to learn a bunch of choreography. I can just get up there and sing my music, and the songs speak for themselves.

“Coming to Nashville and to country music was both a test and a leap of faith for me. But in this place of honesty and trust and hope, I’ve discovered so many things I left behind along the way. I’ve come back to who I was growing up. I believe if you follow your heart and be quiet, you will find the answers, you will find yourself. I found myself in this record. ‘Do You Know’ is a song and a metaphor for my life right now. Do you know who I really am?”

With the release of Do You Know, the world will receive the most honest understanding yet of who Jessica Simpson really is.

[room666]

Top 10 Memorable Scenes Of 2016

Along with great films comes sometimes ever greater scenes. This year I broke down 10 of my favorite. These are all my personal favorite and are on this list because I haven’t stopped thinking about them since I saw them in the dark room with the giant shining light where I do my worship. These scenes are Heaven and film is God.

10. Morris From America (Car Ride) Of all the films I saw this year, Morris From America was one of the best surprises. Chad Hartigan’s coming of age tale about a young American boy growing up in Germany with his single father played brilliantly by Craig Robinson is the perfect examination of the loneliness of growing up and being grown up. In a key scene from the film Morris, played by Markees Christmas, has gone out of town with some new friends and gets stranded when he no longer wants to follow the group and starts getting taunted. His father has to come pick him up and the car ride in which Robinsons character explains to Morris all about his own loneliness and sense of sadness with being out of place in Germany is a beautiful revelation for both characters. It’s one of the best things Craig Robinson has done. The sadness and loneliness that we all feel but never can convey is brought out wonderfully in this conversation. As children we assume our parents could never understand our loneliness and as parents we aren’t sure how to connect with our kids but this scene shows that conversations can move mountains and break down barriers.

9. American Honey ( Star Grows Up) American Honey is like if Andrea Arnold was able to capture the wild excitement and the unstable emotional state of the youth of America. Throughout the film you follow Star, played by newcomer Sasha Lane, who is a young Midwestern girl who isn’t exactly living the best life. She and her younger siblings dig through trash cans for food while she also deals with sexual advances from her absent mothers boyfriend. It’s a situation you want her to get out of but what way out is there? Star comes across a van of misfits and lowlifes lead by king rat tail, Shia LaBeouf as Jake in an unusually good performance, who go door to door selling magazines. Star joins this merry band of arm pit stains and sets off on a literal journey to self discovery. The final scene displays the group dancing around a camp fire like some tribe of young stoners who worship Rihanna and it’s a mesmerizing site. Jake and Star and the rest of the group dance around the fire and sing songs as if it’s their most natural state. Jake pulls Star to the side and hands her a little turtle. Throughout the film Jake has been giving Star gifts but it’s mostly to disguise the fact that he’s really taking more away from her. The mind games he plays with himself and her are leaving Star emotionally confused and scarred. She takes the turtle and sets it back in the lake and even taking a dip in it herself. The scene plays like a baptism of sorts, allowing Star to let go of the childish games and relationships and start to become herself, whatever that may be.The scene doesn’t guarantee that Stars life gets better or that she even learned what she needed to from her interactions with Jake and the rest of the crew but it shows one persons internal growth in a masterful way.

8. Swiss Army Man (One Last Fart) Throughout Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s brilliant Swiss Army Man you are subjected to Daniel Radcliffe as a farting corpse named Manny and Paul Dano as the miserable loser Hank who finds his body washed up on the shore of a random island he choose to kill him self on. After Hank uses Manny as a speed boat he ends up in the wilderness with the need to survive and the only way he can is with the help of Manny and his many uses. He can chop wood and shot bullets out of his mouth and everything else like some ummm… Multi Purpose Dude?…. NO! Like a Swiss Army Man! Throughout the film Hank displays an unhealthy obsession with a female character named Sarah, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead, we only see in flashbacks or pictures. You come to find out that, even though he has a picture of her as his screen saver, Hank has actually never talked to her and has been too scared and shy to really function as a socially expectable human being. When we get to the end and Hank ends up in Sarah’s backyard and finally on a beach where he’s already been outed as an obsessive stalker he lets out a fart and declares very proudly it was him who farted and in a lesser film Sarah’s reaction would be one of Joy and maybe she would have even entertained dating him seeing that as his self discovery but not in this film. Sarah and her husband a long with the rest of the crowd gathered on the beach watch in horror and never excuse the behavior. It throws the whole idea of all you have to do is be yourself and you’ll get the girl right out the fucking window. Sarah and the audience know Hank has a problem and regardless of how whimsical and cute it is, it’s a problem and he needs help and she or any woman of your dreams for that matter isn’t the answer and shouldn’t be forced to be your savior. Hank is off but he’s growing and watching Manny smile and fart his way up the ocean waves as everyone watches in disgust and horror and Hank,who stares and smiles knowing he saved a life,was one of the funniest and heartbreaking moments I’ve seen all year.

7. The VVitch ( Unholy bond with Black Phillip) Robert Eggers delivered one of the best horror films to come out in a long time. A slow burn of a film that deals with a family living out in the woods in 1630s New England. The family is cast out of their community and forced to live out in the woods where an evil presence lurks. The Witch is about liberation. It’s about freeing yourself from the shackles of society with all their religion and rules for how one should act. It is especially a tale of liberation concerning Anya Taylor-Joy’s character Thomasin. She’s carried down by the weight of her responsibilities within her family. A role she didn’t ask for but is expected of her since she is a growing young woman. She must watch after the kids and clean the house and cook and do all the things her families religion and society has assigned to her. Throughout the film an evil lurks in the woods in the form of a witch. You know you’re in for some fucked up shit when the film starts with a naked lady cutting open a baby and bathing in its blood. You don’t see all the gory details but you get the feeling that living out in the woods in New England during the 1630s was a pretty stupid idea. The scene I want to talk about is the ending of the film. An ending that pretty much will make or break what you thought of the film up to that point. The ending in which Thomasin pledges an alliance with Black Phillip, the goat who Thomasins younger siblings claim to be the Devil earlier in the film and Thomasin brushes it off, and follows him into the woods to find a camp fire of witches laughing and screaming until all at once they start to lift towards the sky in what is one of the best visual representations of liberation I’ve seen. Now, I’m not saying this movie got me to denounce God and start worshipping the Devil but it did.

6. Jackie ( Assassination Scene )

Pablo Larrain has knocked the biopic on its head with this amazing psychological horror film and Natalie Portman gives the performance of her career playing Jacqueline Kennedy in her most vulnerable and fragile moments. The key scene in question is the sun in which this film revolves around. The assassination scene could have been done in a very exploitive and classless way in the hands of a lesser film maker. The fact that we can actually see footage of the event only adds to pressure surrounding the scene. We all pretty much have watched the film footage. It’s morbid and violent and chaotic and it satisfies the worst of our voyeuristic tendencies. This could have been done in a way that glorifies the scene as some action set piece head shot but Larrain films the scene with a real heavy grace, dropping you in the car with a loud BANG! we are chaos and panic and we’ve landed right on Jackie and you feel as she pushes and struggles with us as we tear through the scene like a bullet creating uncertainty and dread. Every awkward movement and confused look is captured perfectly in this scene and it’s like we are seeing it for the first time and really feeling the weight of it.

5. La La Land ( Traffic Jam )

The opening scene of Damien Chazelle’s spectacular film La La Land is pretty much the opening scene to your life if you live in LA. Being stuck in traffic is hell but almost everyone of those people, honking and shouting, are here because they have a dream and trying to successfully realize that dream can make life one huge traffic jam. This glorious musical sequence is made all the more spectacular by being done in what is made to look like one unbroken long take that slips and glides up down the 105 as morning commuters dance and sing as if though Los Angeles is the casting director for Hollywoods latest big budget musical. They don’t make them like this anymore and Chazelle makes the case that as long as you know what you’re doing and you have a passion for film musicals can still be relevant and fresh but still remind us of the optimism and joy of early Hollywood. The scene encompasses everything about the film. Ambition, talent, and guts. You gotta have them to make it in La La Land and you gotta have them to think you can open a film like La La Land with a musical number as ambitious as this.

4. Captain America : Civil War ( Airport Scene )

The Russo Brothers snuck into my brain and unlocked my comic book geek dreams and wildest fantasies and used that collective knowledge to create not only one of the greatest superhero films of all time but one of the all time greatest superhero film scenes ever put on screen. I can write pages and pages about this scene and every little detail that was done correctly and with such care that it made me cry but I am just going to remind you that Spider Man is the best he’s ever been on screen in his brief moments in this film. Ant- Man and Paul Rudd as Ant Man is the superhero we didn’t know we needed. HE FUCKING TURNS INTO GIANT MAN! Just go watch the scene. As a matter of fact I’m going to stop typing and you should stop reading and just GO WATCH CIVIL WAR NOW!

3. Moonlight ( End of act 1/ Closing Shot )

What can I say about Moonlight that hasn’t already been said? It’s considered one of the best films of the year and for a very good reason. This beautiful film about self discovery and connection in a world that doesn’t give you a chance to do either of those things for yourself is a master class in subtle filmmaking. Barry Jenkins creates a giant effect with small intimate moments and although he is the cook it is his main ingredients that really bring this dish together. All the actors playing the 3 stages of Chiron’s life are pitch perfect and are supported by an array of brilliant performances. One of those performances belongs to Mahershala Ali, who plays Juan the drug dealer, and gives one of the best performances of the year. The scene in question puts us at Juans home where he lives with his girlfriend, played by Janelle Monae, and it’s the end of act one. We’ve just experienced Juan coming across a young Chiron ,who was being bullied and chased by older kids, and eventually forming a bond. This bond allows young Chiron to not have to go home to his crack addict mother, played by a fantastic Naomie Harris, and use Juans place as a safe haven from her addiction and verbal abuse but what Chiron doesn’t know is that Juan is where his mother gets the drugs that are sending her and his life spinning out of control. In an emotional gut punch of a scene young Chiron walks up to Juan who is sitting at his kitchen table and asks him if he is the one who sells drugs to his mother. What follows is one of the most heartbreaking exchanges I’ve ever seen on film and Mahershala Ali as Juan quietly figuring out in his head what to tell Chiron and eventually telling him the truth is an automatic Oscar in my opinion. Juan’s reluctance to tell Chiron and his eventual feelings of disappointment and anger towards himself are all shown in Ali’s eyes and body language. He never goes for the big scene and makes it larger than life because of it.

2. The Lobster ( David picks up on the Heartless woman while biscuit woman dies on the floor next to them ) In Yorgos Lanthimo’s brilliant relationship satire we follow David, played by Colin Farrell, as he is forced to live in a hotel for 45 days because he is single and being single is outlawed and in order to avoid being turned into an animal after 45 days he must find a partner and create a relationship with them in the hotel. Sounds like every other fucking day, am I right? In this brilliant comedy our characters find love with each other by finding certain traits that each can relate to. For example, a young woman has constant nose bleeds and instead of trying to win her over with a personality, another character decides to bang his head or stab a sharp object into his nose in order to give the impression that he also has constant nose bleeds and wins her over. It’s the perfect metaphor for the way people court each other and try to win each other over with surface and artificial things like being into the same bands or having the same fashion sense. In this key scene David decides he needs to find a partner soon and that he will also need to fake something in order to find her. David finds himself being attracted to The Heartless Woman, played by Angeliki Papoulia who was also in the directors previous film Dogtooth, who is given that nickname because she is mean and has no heart. The scene that really brought this film together and makes it stand out above the rest is a scene where one of the hotel guests has just jumped out of a window in an attempt to kill herself. She lays on the floor all crippled and screaming in pain when David sees this as an opportunity to try and court the heartless woman, he walks up behind her as she sits in a hot tub not very far from the attempted suicide and say’s out loud how he hopes that the lady will die soon so that she stops screaming because it’s really disturbing his day and with that heartless statement he gets a glance from the heartless woman and from there they are a couple. It’s doomed from the start and he knows it but with the pressure on us everyday to find a partner we are willing to go against ourselves to please others and even willing to complain about a dying woman’s screams. It’s hilarious and heartbreaking and dark in ways that give me joy beyond comprehension.

1. Green Room ( Patrick Stewart vs. Anton Yelchin )

Jeremy Saulnier’s punk rock horror film Green Room stands above the rest this year when it comes to thrills and twists you never see coming. It’s a master class in suspense and tension. This isn’t some free for all shoot ‘em up stab 'em frenzy, it’s a calculated cat and mouse game that requires our characters to think before acting. A punk rock band has just witnessed a murder in the green room of the venue they just played that just so happens to be run by a menacing skinhead gang. The bands bassist, played by the late and talented Anton Yelchin, was able to dial the cops on his cell phone before it’s grabbed from his hands and this creates a problem for both parties. Now that the band has seen what they saw the venue can’t exactly let them go but after having the cops called on the venue they can’t exactly just straight up murder these kids so they have to figure something out and they get their help in the form of their quiet but menacing leader Darcy, played by a brilliant Patrick Stewart, who figures out a way to get rid of the band and save face. At this point our band is locked up in the green room holding one of the skinheads hostage while they have his gun and figure out how the hell to get out of there. One punk suggests shooting his way out but this isn’t that movie and our characters know that they could have more guns on the other side and at this point the band believes the cops are on their way to the venue. Enter Darcy who shows up to clean the mess by promising that they will let the band go without harming them as long as they hand over the gun and the person they have in the room safely but the band as well as the audience knows that isn’t the case and it isn’t going to be that simple. What follows is one of the most tense stand offs in cinema history. It’s Anton Yelchin trying to figure out if he should unlock the door and hand over the gun to Patrick Stewart on the other side but it’s a back and forth that has both actors matching wit and verbally trying to knock the other out. It isn’t until the end of the scene that we get a burst of violence and chaos but leading up to that is a strategy game that leaves you at the edge of your seat and asking yourself “ What the fuck would I do in a situation like this?” and then showing you there is no right or wrong answer and you can’t always just go into action hero mode because the situation calls for it. For the most part you just die.

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper’s Interview with Maisey Yates

Cowboy to the Core and Lone Wolf Cowboy by Maisey Yates are the latest in the “Gold Valley series.”  What these novels have in common, a Yates specialty, is showing how individuals make their own choices and can choose love over being broken. Both books delve into the lives of the Dalton brothers and how their father’s imperfection affected them regarding relationships.

Jamie Dodge is the heroine in Cowboy to the Core. She is the only girl in a male dominated life. During delivery, her mother dies leaving Jamie, her brothers, and father to be without a mother and wife. No one ever made her feel that it was her fault but she is guilt ridden. Because of that, she has worked harder than anyone to not be thought of as poor Jamie who lost her mother. Jamie built a real tough outer skin and sky-high walls around her heart, and hides her vulnerability with a streak of stubbornness that includes a sassy mouth. Feeling she always had to be “one of the boys,” she tried to ignore the feelings of loss for not having a female role model.

Deciding it is time to go out on her own, she accepts a job with Gabe Dalton to take care of his horses. Jamie has been around cowboys like Gabe her whole life. She won’t be fooled by his words or ways. She wants this job to prove herself and to save up to start barrel racing. As long as he listens to her ideas about the horses and their needs she thinks their relationship can be tolerable. As they work side-by-side, rivalry turns to friendship that turns to a blossoming relationship. Because of his father’s infidelities and the fact that his father sold Gabe’s horses out from under him, he is a very wounded hero.  Yet, when around Jamie his restlessness seems to be soothed. The story takes readers on a journey with Jamie and Gabe to see if they can find happiness with each other.

The other novel, Lone Wolf Cowboy, is in some ways a departure from the usual Yates’ storyline in that the heroine is broken.  Vanessa Logan is a recovering addict who once had a miscarriage and now finds herself pregnant, after a one night stand with Jacob Dalton. He has become a recluse since his friend’s tragic death, in which Jacob blames himself.

As a former EMT and a wildland firefighter, there’s no one Jacob Dalton can’t rescue, except himself. While working one night many years ago, he saved Vanessa’s life during a medical emergency, and they have never forgotten each other. But after Vanessa’s return to work as an art therapist to troubled youths Jacob feels a strong connection with her.  After finding out that she is pregnant from a lustful night, he does the right thing and asks her to marry him.  The problem is, will these two people allow their troubles to be put to pasture, or will they decide to remain isolated.

Both these books have very likeable characters that take the reader on a roller coaster ride with them.  Will they allow themselves to overcome defects and instead have a thriving relationship?

Elise Cooper: You seem to have a recurring theme about choices?

Maisey Yates: You can choose to be defined by what wounded you or to choose to grab hold to a new feeling. It comes down to love versus staying with something bad that happened.

EC:  Why did you write Jamie as a tomboy?

MY:  I have a soft spot for them as a type of heroine.  Probably because when I was younger I was that tough girl, the one who had friends who were boys. Jamie is the tough country girl type who is confident in what she is very good at.  She thinks she can handle almost everything.

EC:  You have an Annie Oakley quote at the beginning of the book?

MY: You are referring to the one, “I ain’t afraid to love a man.  But I ain’t afraid to shoot him either.” I came across it many times and had it in my mind. I put it in because this is what I was thinking about Jamie. The quote cemented for me the picture of Jamie.  She is practical, direct, tough, a straight talker, not apologetic, and sometimes a bit cocky.  She wants to realize her dreams.

EC:  How would you describe the hero, Gabe?

MY:  He is an older hero who knows his flaws. He is a little more emotionally aware than Jamie is.  I think he is at a different stage than she is.  Interestingly, he is making a move back home, while she is making a move away from home. In the beginning, they are in very different emotional spaces.

EC:  Horses seem to play an important role in a lot of your books?

MY:  Horses have personalities, much like dogs do.  My life long best friend is a phenomenal horse person, a professional who trains and sells horses.  Something I observed is that each horse has a different temperament.  It is important to match the personality of the horse with the personality of the person.  Some people cannot handle a high-spirited horse.

EC:  Each of the main characters has had family issues? First, talk about Jamie, please.

MY: She was raised by her dad and four brothers.  My mom was also raised by a single dad and brothers.  I remember my mom telling me she loved Mary Poppins so much because there was a woman who had influence over a family. Jamie, although she is not willing to admit it, is profoundly affected by the loss of her mom and never wanted to be a burden.  I enjoyed writing that she thinks she is OK but eventually lets herself decide to have some femininity.

EC: Gabe had a dysfunctional family?

MY:  There was a lot of emotion in his house as he was growing up, and a lot of it was toxic. His father, Hank, is so flawed, nice but selfish.  He was someone who wanted to live his life for that moment of happiness and never thought outside of himself. Gabe was the protector of his mother because his dad did not do it.

EC:  What about the relationship?

MY:  Both of them were profoundly affected by their childhood, which influenced the relationship.  Maybe they see themselves in the other person.  I do like stories like this with the age gap romance because they can learn from each other.  He watched her let down walls and be brave, while Gabe learned how to show vulnerability.

EC:  Lone Wolf Cowboy was a deviation from other stories in that the heroine is a dysfunctional character having to overcome addiction and a miscarriage and now a pregnancy?

MY: It is not the first time I have written a heroine getting pregnant out of wedlock.  I short changed my readers because I did not think anyone would want me to write Vanessa’s story.  She was a drug addict in a previous book and I thought people would not care if she got a happy ending. She had to make a lot of tough choices for herself.

EC:  Interestingly, Vanessa got pregnant because there was no safe sex?

MY:  I think if the guy doesn’t use a condom assume the girl will get pregnant.  I was told by an author friend of mine that during the 1980s this genre never had a conversation of safe sex.  I think compared to other mediums safe sex is included a lot in the romance genre. The first time I wrote an accidental pregnancy my editor said ‘I don’t know if we can have this because it is so irresponsible.’ My response, ‘people do a lot of stupid stuff when it comes to sex.’ When it comes to sex there are bad decisions made when it feels good in the moment. The editor I am working with now didn’t even blink.  Sometimes irresponsible behavior does occur because as adults we are not perfect.

EC:  What about the addiction?

MY:  I thought a lot about how I was going to write this. It is important to me to have an honest view of addiction so I talked to people that went through it. I wanted to write her story with compassion and made sure I never put her sobriety at risk. After all, romance is about hope and that everybody deserves love. I never wanted to be disrespectful to her struggles.

EC:  There is a powerful quote about death?

MY:  The quote is based on a firefighter I knew who passed away fighting a fire. I think a lot about him, off and on. The quote, “It leaves people who love that person behind. And it leaves a hole inside them that can’t be filled. It’s love that makes it matter… The tragedy of death was in the hearts that were left behind, and in the possibilities of life missed by those who were taken too soon.” I wrote this thinking of the repercussions of the people left behind.  I read a quote recently, ‘grief is terrible because the person you need to talk to about it isn’t here.” The more you care about that person the greater the loss.  

EC:  Please describe Jacob?

MY:  He is the middle child who is looking for his own purpose.  He wanted to fix everything.  I think he is a frustrated protector.  He is a wounded person, like Vanessa, who went through a lot.  

EC:  Vanessa’s sister Olivia was an interesting character?

MY:  She is totally me.  She and I have a tendency to hold everything together. Just as Olivia, I am a perfectionist, people pleaser, sometimes judgmental and inflexible.

EC:  You introduced a new character Aiden, who is a troubled youth?

MY:  I have plans for him, Dallas, and Violet, and will visit these younger characters as they grow up. Readers will also be able to see the other characters in the background and how they progressed.  I think Aiden learned something through the manual labor and realizes he can build something.  He has the chance to make different choices and I am pretty sure he will grow into a hero who becomes a cowboy.  

EC: Your next book?

MY: It is titled, Cowboy Christmas Redemption and will be out in September. It is the last book in the series.  The reason for the Christmas time setting is that not everyone is happy around the holidays.  I examined what is it like for someone who lost a husband, and a child who lost a father. When someone dies the tragedy is not theirs, but the person left behind.  I saved Caleb and Ellie’s story for last because they have the greatest journey to go.

THANK YOU!!