#[ she woke up wanting to curse someone out and got radio silence]

[kvbikiri]

She’s bored shitless. Not a damn thing to do or anyone around for her to annoy. The quietness is making her a little stir crazy, even her phone is bone dry, not that she bothered texting or calling anyone. The blonde visored had been her room majority of the day. The only exceptions were her eating then going to the bathroom. Okay maybe she dabbled in playing some video games, but even that was getting dull as balls.

“Fuck this,” Hiyori growled, swinging her body off the couch.

“Let me get out of here even for a walk.” Surveying her home, she studied the walls, corners, and floors. Clean. Spotless. Nothing out of place. The tv was unplugged, radio off, the only noise was the AC humming cool air.

Pulling on her jacket, then palming for her phone and car keys—Hiyori bounded out of the house making sure the door was locked. She nearly jerked the door handle off getting into the car. Pulling out of the driveway and into the road, she couldn’t get her mind off some preoccupations.

She needed a clear mind just in case. A movie.

“What was the name of that— The Batman. Might watch that or the other movie about that witch.” She swerved a little to avoid hitting a puppy.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

WARNINGS: Cursing. Homophobic comments from Tr*y [his in script use of the word fa*ry once] Reader fucking SNAPS.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

The five of us rode our bikes down the road to school, El on the back of Mike's bike as usual. She seemed eager to soak in everything around her like she would never see it again. Wind brushed the wig aside and she clung tightly to Mike.

Mike was beginning to slow down, the group of us all growing tired from the ride. Soon enough, however, we were walking through the back doors to the schools. Mike was in the lead as he turns to speak to us as we walked.

"Okay, remember, if anyone sees us, look sad."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

'He is still missing, isn't he?'

My thoughts were interrupted by the crackling of the speaker.

"Attention students, there will be an assembly to honor Will Byers in the gymnasium now. Do not go to fourth period."

I looked to the ceiling at the mention of my best friend and by the time I looked ahead, we had made it outside the AV room. Mike was attempting to open the door but it must be locked.

"It's locked." Mike confirmed.

"What?" Lucas asked.

"Hey, El, is there any way for you to open it?" I ask.

Before she could respond, we all jumped at the voice of Mr. Clarke and froze.

"Boys? Lady." He nodded towards El.

"Hey." Lucas breathed, obviously startled.

"Assembly's about to start."

"We know. We're just, you know..." Mike works a solemn look on his face as he spoke and the others seemed to join in, including me although it wasn't that difficult.

"Upset." Lucas nodded, dropping his nervous smile.

"Yeah, definitely upset," Dustin muttered.

I opened my mouth to speak, but thought better to say nothing at all and even looked down to the ground. Channeling all my emotions from just hours before.

"We need some alone time."

"To... cry." Dustin hesitated.

"Yeah, listen... I get it. I do. I know how hard this is, but let's just be there for Will, huh? And then," Mr. Clarke reached into his pocket and pulled out a key.

He tossed the key to Mike who caught it upon instinct.

"the Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day. What do you say?"

We all looked to each other, wearing subtle triumphant smirks. It couldn't have been that easy, could it?

Mr. Clarke seemed to finally notice that he had no idea who El was.

"I don't believe we've met. What's your name?"

El seemed shocked and began to say 'Eleven' when Mike panicked and cut in.

"Eleanor! She's my, uh-"

"Cousin!" Lucas jumped in.

"Second cousin," Dustin added.

I started to laugh but caught myself just in time to play it off as a cough. I pretended to clear my throat as I looked to Mr. Clarke who was looking a bit confused.

"She's here for Will's funeral." Mike sighed.

Mr. Clarke seemed content with this answer as he shrugged and turned to her.

"Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor. I wish you were here under better circumstances."

She looked to us and Mike, then turned to Mr. Clarke nodding her head. "Thank you."

A small smile fought its way into my face. She was doing great.

"Uh, where are you from exactly?"

El shook her head, sighing exasperatedly. "Bad place-"

"Sweden!" Dustin cuts in.

"I have a lot of Swedish family."

"She hates it there."

"Cold!"

"Subzero."

Meanwhile, I had fought back another laugh at the whole exchange and I had to play it off as a cough yet again.

"Are you alright, Mr. Henderson?"

My head snapped up, but luckily I was fairly quick on my feet this time.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I woke up with a fever, haven't been feeling well all morning. But I insisted on coming. For Will." Mr. Clarke seemed satisfied with my answer and dismissed our odd behavior.

"Shall we?"

"Yep!" We all follow Mr. Clarke to the gymnasium in silence.

As we get closer, I can hear the principal speaking from inside.

"At times like these, it is important that we come together as a community. We come-"

Dustin swung open the gymnasium doors far too hard and the loud bang echoed throughout the gym that had drawn the attention of the crowd. I elbow Dustin. I feel him shifting on his feet beside me as panic sets in.

"Abort." He whispers, turning to leave.

Thankfully, Lucas stops him and shoved him forward.

"We come together to heal... we come together to grieve..."

As the principle continues his speech, the five of us wander into the bleachers to find a seat.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Will Byers' death is an unimaginable tragedy. Will was an exceptional student and a wonderful friend to all of us. It's impossible to express the hole his loss will leave in our community. I'd like to introduce you to Sandy Sloane. She's a local grief counselor from the church over in Jonesboro."

While the principal carried on, the five of us all looked to each other, all sharing the same thought.

'We need to get to that radio. And soon.'

"I just want those of you who are having trouble dealing with this tragic loss..."

"Look at these fakers." I heard Mike whisper.

"They probably didn't even know his name till today." Lucas scoffed.

My head whipped to the side when I heard hushed chuckling. I wasn't surprised to see Troy and his friend as the source of the laughter. I glared daggers into them and my hands gripped the edge of my seat until I was sure my knuckles would tear.

The boys and El seemed quick to follow my gaze because soon enough, we were all leaning over glaring at them.

"Who is interested in this? This is so stupid." He laughed.

I grit my teeth as my vision filled with red.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

"Y/n..." Lucas warned, reaching out for my arm. I wasn't paying attention, but for some reason, I felt his hand leave my arm almost as soon as he grabbed it.

"'Oh, he was such a great student. Oh, he's going to leave a hole in the community.'" Troy mocked, beginning to fake sob.

I began to shake with rage, wanting nothing more than to stand up and scream 'fu-'

"Y/n,"

"What?!" I hissed at Lucas, my head whipping around to face him, my jaw clenched.

I saw fear in his eyes as he glanced between my eye line and my hands. I looked down at my own hands to see the dangerously strong grip on the wood. I yanked my hands off the bench and rubbed my hands together, keeping to myself.

I was shocked to see the faintest imprint of the most vaguely shaped hand on the bench. It was hardly noticeable and I had to do a double take.

'What the hell?'

El was leaning over and she met my gaze. She briefly looked at my hands, seeming to dismiss whatever thoughts she had. Then looked to Troy.

"Mouth breather." She whispered.

I let out a strained chuckle and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, mouth breather." I whispered, looking back and Troy.

Eventually, the bell rang, dismissing the assembly. Even though Lucas and Dustin seemed to have let it go, Mike and I were not finished.

"Hey! Hey! Hey Troy." Mike called.

I could tell he could hear us because he barely slowed down but was clearly laughing. I stomped towards him and called him out, loud and clear.

"Hey, jackass!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. He seemed like he wanted to be mad, but almost like he was happy he got a rise out of us.

"You think that shit was funny?" My voice never wavered and the boys and El seemed just as shocked as I was feeling at my newfound courage.

"What'd you say, orphan?" He asked, dumbfounded.

He only called me that when he was really pissed at me.

"You heard me! And how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not an orphan if I was adopted, you dumbass! Now what the hell is in that tiny brain of yours that would compel you to laugh at someone dying, huh? I mean, shit, you must really be sick in the head. I feel sorry for you." I spit out my last few words, my voice dripping with malice.

By now I was in his face, finally letting out all the pent-up aggression I've harbored for years. And it felt good.

"Get the hell outta my face, freak!" He yells shoving me back.

I get ready to strike but Dustin grabs my arm before my fist can collide with Troy's face. I struggle to get free but my brother was determined to hold me back, with the help of Lucas of course.

"Control your 'brother', Toothless. Or he just might lose a few teeth of his own." He glares at me and I still attempt to break free.

Mike seems to have found his voice as all of this happened because he was the next to speak.

"H-Hey, he's right! Laughing like that? That's a pretty messed up thing to do."

Troy, glares at us as his minion speaks.

"Didn't you listen to the counselor, freaks? Grief shows itself in funny ways."

"You little shit-" I attempt once more to get a right hook in but Lucas stops me.

Troy laughs at me struggling.

"Besides, what's there to be sad about, anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!"

Lucas loosened his grip on me, silently letting me go as Troy began dancing around, mocking Will.

I swung my fist and I felt it collide with his nose with a satisfying crack. He stumbled back and grasped his nose in surprise, he pulled his hand away to find a few drops of blood on his hands. The crowd that had gathered while all of this unfolded, gasped in surprise. I even earned some scattered cheers among the students.

I seemed to realize the consequences of my actions, but I was prepared to face them. It was worth it. I watched as he stormed towards me, blinded by fury.

"You're dead, freak!" He stomped towards me at a shocking speed and I stumbled back, bracing myself for the inevitable retaliation but it never came.

All I felt was a sudden pair of hands on my right arm, harshly pushing me out of the way. I looked in time to see it was Mike who pushed me out of the way. I gakwed in confusion at what happened next.

Troy had just begun to raise his arm as he was only inches from Mike when he froze.

He completely froze in place.

He seemed just as confused, if not more than anyone. That confusion quickly bubbled into fear as his eyes scanned the room as much as he could without moving his head.

It finally dawned on me and I spared a quick glance at El, who was laser-focused on Troy, head tilted down and the smallest hint of blood dripping from her nose. I smirked and looked back to Troy, a smug smile on my face.

I couldn't hold back the laughter as I saw his pants begin to dampen with urine. A stream of it began pooling at his leg, and it even soaked into his socks and shoes. Other students caught on quickly and one boy in particular, began laughing.

"Dude, Troy peed himself!"

The circle of kids erupted into laughter as Troy stood frozen in a puddle of his own pee. I turned to El, who wore a devilish smirk on her face as she glanced between Mike and me. She quickly wiped her nose and started walking away. The boys and I enjoyed this brief moment of bliss.

"Hey! What is going on here?" The principle shouted.

"Come on!" I whisper, gesturing for the boys who all had the same idea. Before people could start asking questions we grouped together and made our way to the AV room unnoticed.

[dracos-eternity]

Ours- Poly! Bowers Gang x Reader

Summary: The boys show you who you belong to.

Warnings: Smut, PATRICK IS A WARNING ON HIS OWN, polyamory, cursing

Word Count: 2,328

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N P.O.V.

"Vic, put me down!" I giggle as the blond boy holds me, his arms wrapped around me from behind.

"Nope, sorry love." I try to fight as he approaches the water.

"Victor James (not really his middle name but idk it so hear we are) Criss, if you throw me in the water!" I struggle against hsi grip, cursing myself for agreeing to come to the quarry with these idiots.

"Ooh, the whole name, you might need a punishment for that." He chuckles in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Vic, stop! I don't have a change of clothes and I'm in my jeans and shirt!" He finally puts me down and grabs the end of my shirt. I lift my arms and he pulls it over my head. He quickly slides my pants off to. I try to run but Belch stands in front of me. "Belch, please don't." I whine as he boy picks me up off the ground. He throws me into the water despite my protests. I come out the water, glaring daggers at him.

"Aw, princess your wet." Patrick comes up behind me in the water, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck, making me let out little moans.

"Pat," I turn around, giving the boy a slow, heated kiss. "it's not funny." I quickly place my hands on his head, pushing him underwater and swimming up to where Belch and Henry are now standing, hiding behind the two. Patrick comes out the water, searching for me. Vic starts laughing causing Patrick to glare at him, making me laugh. "Fuck." I notice the tall, lanky boy walking up to me. "Help!" I shriek, running from him. I jump back into the water, slowly backing up.

"Princess, your only so tall, two more steps and your head goes under." He looks at me intimidatingly. Vic jumps in, coming up to me and tapping my thigh under the water before he goes under. I quickly settle on his shoulders before he comes up laughing at Patrick still. "He's not that tall either." He continues walking, slowly. I fall backwards off Vics shoulders, swimming up to Pat, wrapping my arms around his neck and standing on my tip toes.

"What are you gonna do?" I lean up kissing him.

"Punishment." He leans down whispering in my ear, his breath fanning my neck.

"Please," I pause for a moment, getting close to his ear. "master." His jaw clenches and his hands move from my waist down to my ass, pulling me close enough to feel the hard on that has formed. My breath hitches and he smirks, one hand sliding forward and playing with the top of my panties.

"What doll, cat got your tongue?" He slides one hand down the front of my panties, playing with my clit. I let out a moan as he rubs slow circles. He slides one finger in, pumping it in and out slowly. I moan and lean my head on his chest. He holds me up with the other hand, slowly speeding up his finger inside me before taking it out.

"Patrick," I whine and smack his shoulder. "your such an ass." I walk up to where Henry is sitting, getting in his lap and sitting so that my legs are straddling him. "Baby, he teased me." I pout looking at Henry, my fingers running through his hair. He places his hands on my hips, absentmindedly rubbing circles with his thumbs.

"How do you want me to fix it?" He smiles at me waiting for me to answer.

"Finger me?" I look at him, hoping he helps.

"Okay, okay." He slides one hand between us, sliding my panties to the side. Rubbing his ring and middle finger through my folds. I let out a shaky breath as he pulls his fingers to his face, looking at them. "Fuck, Y/N, your so wet." He places his finger at my entrance, teasing it as he places small kisses on my neck.

"Daddy, please don't tease." I pout and he slips his fingers in making my head lean back. "Fuck, yes, just like that." His fingers continue to pump in and out of me, bringing me closer to my edge. I let out shaky moans, getting closer and closer to the edge.

“Wake up love.” I jolt up, realizing it was a dream and I’m now horny. I groan, looking at the small, blond boy in front of me. 

“Why?” I whine, looking up at Victor.

“We’re going to a party, and its 5 in the afternoon.” I deadpan, refraining from hitting this boy. 

“You woke me up,” I breath in, my anger bubbling up. “for a fucking party.” I jump out of my bed, chasing the small boy into my living room where the rest of the boys are, Victor hiding behind them.

“I told you guys that Patrick should have done it, she scares me!” I laugh at the boy, jumping at him now that the boys have moved only to have Belch grab my waist mid-air. 

“Yeah, I better scare you. Be glad he grabbed me.” I feel a large hand across my ass and I yelp in pain. Patrick chuckles behind me, telling me who caused it. “PATRICK!” 

“Sorry, Doll, you wore those shorts though.” 

“Belch, put me down so I can get ready for this damn party.” He listens and I stomp towards my room, shutting and locking the door. I strip down and put on a red lace bra and pantie set, putting on a short, black, leather skirt and white off the shoulder crop top, with a pair of black and white converses. I step out my room, the boys looking me up and down.

“No, change now.” Henry speaks up glaring at the short skirt. 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Fine, but don’t leave our sides tonight. Understood?” I nod my head at his words and we walk out to the Trans Am. Victor and Patrick sitting in the back with Henry and Belch in the front. 

“Come on, princess.” Henry pats his lap and I crawl in sitting on it. He rubs up and down my thigh as I lay my head on his shoulder. I look up at him and kissing his neck. He looks down, talking only where I can hear him. “Are you horny?” I nod my head, silently begging him to help me.

“I had a wet dream, and Vic woke me up before I could even get to the best part.” I pout, causing him to laugh at me. 

“Fine, I’ll help you.” He slides his hand up my skirt, sliding my panties to the side and running a finger through my folds. He uses his thumb to play with my clit, sliding two fingers in me. I let a quiet moan out, placing my face in the crook of his neck. He picks up his pace and curls his fingers after each pump, quickly bringing me to my euphoric end as I let out loud moans. I lift my head up, noticing Patrick staring at me, I hold eye contact, exaggerating my moans to tease him. He bites his lip, glaring at me as he shifts, trying to fix himself to where his erection isn’t obvious. Henry grabs the hair on the back of my head, pulling it to make me look at him. “Who’s making you feel this good?” I bite my lip as he speeds up, my brain not functioning. “I asked a fucking question.” 

“Y-you Henry.” My back arches and my walls clench around him, signaling how close I am. 

“Mhm, and what’s my name princess.” 

“D-daddy.” The word falls from my mouth continuously as I cum on his fingers. He pulls them out and slides them in my mouth, making me clean them off before he slides them back out and groaning. He shifts me so I can feel what I’ve caused for him. I shift on it, purposely grinding against it as I do. He grabs my hips, stilling me. 

We sit in silence other than the radio until we get to the party, stepping out all eyes are immediately on us. I roll my eyes and stand next to Victor as he wraps his arm around my waist, ushering me inside to the drinks. The boys slowly split off around twenty minutes into the party, leaving me on my own. I quickly down the shot of whiskey in my hand before moving to the living where furniture has been moved to the walls to create a makeshift dance floor, where sweaty bodies are grinding on each other. I move to the middle, letting the alcohol control me. Swaying my hips to the beat of the song I soon feel someone against my backside. I turn to see a boy from my chemistry class, I believe his name is Micheal. He pulls me close, my legs on each side of his thigh as we sway to the music now. I peer over his shoulder to see an angry Henry glaring at us, Patrick approaching his side. The two boys look at me, anger written on their faces as I put on a show, pulling Micheal closer and grinding on his leg. Henry quickly approaches, Pat in tow. Henry snatches Micheal back, connecting his fist to Micheal’s nose. Patrick quickly kicks Micheal as he falls to the ground, Belch and Victor running up to us. The rest of the party a circle around us now. Victor grabs me taking me to ‘Amy’ while the other guys continue to beat Micheal. 

“Y/N, what the hell were you thinking? You know better!” Victor yells, towering over me as I lean against the car. I shrink back, looking up at him.

“I’m sorry Vic.” He hugs, pulling me close and kissing the top of my head.

“I forgive you love, but the boys won’t be so easy.” I nod knowing he’s right and get into the car with Vic, falling asleep in his lap. 

The car comes to a stop in front of my house, waking me up. I stretch, getting up and walking up to my doorstep with the boys in tow. We get into my house and I stand against a wall, fearing their next moves. Patrick walks in last, immediately walking up to me and wrapping his hand around my throat tightly, to tight. I grab at his hand, my eyes wide with fear. 

“You are ours. Why the fuck are you grinding against some other guy.” I open my mouth to speak but only gasp for air as he continues to tighten around my throat. “What’s wrong kitten, not so brave now? Pathetic.” He throws me down and tears form in my eyes.

“I think we need to remind her who she belongs to, boys.” Henry says, sauntering up to me. I walk back, stupidly backing into a wall as Henry pis me their, his hands on either side of my head. He leans down, whispering into my ear. “Do you want us to remind you, doll?” I nod my head eagerly. He moves to my neck, placing hickeys in love bites as I let out soft moans. He picks me, moving me to the arm of the couch and laying me over it, my face in the cushion. He comes around to the front sitting on the couch, my chin on his thigh, mouth inches from his dick. He grabs my hair, lifting my head. “I never heard an apology, sweetheart.” 

“Im sorry, daddy.” I yelp in pain as Patrick’s hand comes in contact with my ass. 

“Patrick, take her to the bedroom.” Pat picks me up, carrying me to the room and laying me sideways on the bed, my legs dangling off and head at the edge of the bed. The other three come in seconds later, Henry in front of my face, Belch and Victor on opposite sides of me, Pat between my legs. 

“Boys? What are you doing? I’ve never taken all of you at the same time. What happened to the turn system?” Fear ivedent in my voice, causing the boys to smirk and pass glances. 

“Nope, your a big enough girl to dance on someone who isn’t us, your a big enough girl to take the punishment.” Patrick says removing my skirt while Henry pulls my shirt over my head, leaving me in my bra and panties.

Henry grabs my jaw, opening my mouth and sliding his dick in, making me take all of him. Patrick removing my panties and sliding into me, making me moan against Henry. My hands quickly move to pump the other two, groans filling my room. I moan as Patrick speeds up. Victor and Belch play with my boobs, Henry twitching in my mouth telling me he’s close. I move my tongue around in my mouth causing Henry to coat the back of my throat. He moves from my mouth, no longer muffling my moans. The sound of my moans mixed with the sight of me being their little fucktoy causing Victor to cum on my hand, arm and bed, Belch cumming moments later. Patrick grabbing my legs and angling me so he can hit my g-spot over and over again, my stomach tightening.

“Shit, daddy, I’m gonna cum.” Patrick rubs his thumb over my clit, my insides feel as though their exploding as a liquid comes out my body, my breath coming out in short, rapid chains. 

“Aww look, we made our little baby so fucked out she squirted.” Henry played with my hair while Patrick pulled out, cumming on my stomach. The boys clean up themselves and my room, except Patrick who goes into the kitchen getting food, while Belch gives me a bath and helps me clean myself up. He lays me in bed, laying beside me and holding me in his arms, playing with my hair as I drift off to sleep.

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[it-was-summer]

Video Killed The Radio Star - Chapter 6 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Hello! I’m sorry for being so inactive, I just started up college again this semester and it’s been a long week and it’s only Wednesday. I think I might try to update Sunday every week starting next week so we will see how that works out!

Warnings: Soft mention of drugs once again, They are just talking again and things are being put in motion. 

Plot: Spencer and you have conversations and make some plans. You have a certain kind of dream. 

Word Count: 2.1K

Spencer could feel his cheeks grow warm, a grin creeping its way onto his face. There was the pesky idea of fate repeating in the back of his mind. Spencer suppressed the idea, not wanting it to ruin the moment. He was too busy zoning out, thinking about how easy the smile on his face appeared when he heard your voice, not noticing the growing silence over the line. “Spencer?” your voice called through the phone.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m here!” Spencer laughed quickly, clearing his throat nervously. “Why are you up?”

He heard you laughing over the phone, nervous knots twisting in his stomach. “Spencer, it’s seven o’clock.” You giggled, feeling lighter than you had all day. You heard him laugh nervously at himself as he muttered an embarrassment, “Right.”

Spencer licked his lips, “Why did you call?” he questioned, trying his best to relax on his couch.

You felt the weight in your chest replace the butterflies, swallowing hard. You had kept it all in, it was hard to pick the reason for your call. You took in a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “Things have just been piling up, and I feel like I need some help.” your fingers pinched the comforter between your thumb and index.

“What kind of things have been piling up?” Spencer asked, straightening as he listened.

You pinched the comforter tighter, jaw clenching down. You didn’t want to cry with Dr. Spencer Reid on the phone. Maybe it was because you hated feeling vulnerable. You tried your best to relax and remember that he wouldn’t judge you, he said to call if you needed anything, and you did. “I don’t want to say something stupid,”

“You won’t,”

“Well, it kind of started when I left the hospital. I had a dream, a memory, one night. I could feel her, she wasn’t there, because she’s dead! Then,” you let out a calming breath, “Then, I was in my mom’s kitchen, and I saw this pink light. I was back there, like in the room, I could feel it, smell it.” You shivered, overwhelming anxiety dawning on you.

You felt safe with Spencer, you couldn’t explain why you did, but you did. Was it because he was the first face you saw that day? Or because he had come to check up on you in the hospital?

Despite your overwhelming feeling of trust towards Spencer, you couldn’t stop the tiny voice in the back of your mind that told you he thought you were crazy. Clammy hands rubbed against your pajama pants in a desperate attempt to dry them.

Spencer wanted to spew statistics, say something about how many victims experience post-traumatic stress disorder, but he stopped himself. He wanted to dig deeper, he wanted you to know you weren’t alone. He cleared his throat, trying to sound calm. “I know what it’s like, to feel like they’re still around. It seems irrational to think that a dead person is around, that getting saved was all a dream, but I know what it’s like.”

Your heart rate slowed at his words, closing your eyes as you chuckled gently. “You just have to say that because you're my federal agent,” teasing him softly over the phone.

“Hey, that’s Doctor federal agent to you.” Spencer joked, a tiny chuckle building up in his throat. “I’m saying it because I know,” he ruffled his hair as he tried to think about what to say, falling back into a silent panic. He wasn’t used to talking to people about it, especially people that he didn’t know. He tried to recall his emotions, trying his hardest to remember. He wanted to be a beacon of light for you, something to follow, something to trust. He swallowed hard, “About two years ago, I was kidnapped,”

“Spencer,” your tone was so soft, so sweet, he felt his chest pound. “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” You heard a gentle protest on the other line, shushing him. “Spencer, really, it already means the world to me that you gave me your number. You didn’t even have to pick up and yet, you did.”

Spencer hesitated, wanting to insist that he was fine with talking about it, to insist that it didn’t bother him, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew that it wasn’t something he was comfortable with talking about and you were right. He didn’t even know you, but here he was trying to convince you that you were safe. That you weren’t alone. “I’m sorry,”

“For what?”

Spencer grinned, feeling lame as he searched for an answer. After a few moments of silence, you spoke up again, “Spencer, I’m not working right now and I’m always alone,” you trailed off, your cheeks flaring, “Well, I was wondering if I could keep calling you. As long as you aren’t busy,”

You were waiting to hear Spencer’s calming voice reject you, but you could hear the excitement in his voice as he answered with an enthusiastic “Yes,”

You felt your chest tighten, “I’ll call you tomorrow at eight?”

“Eight sounds good,”

“Okay,”

“Okay,”

You quickly said a nervous goodbye, hanging up after hearing Spencer bid you farewell.

---

It was night, cool breezes blew through your hair, as you looked up with a smile. Your arms wrapped around his neck, large hands holding your hips. You ignored the excitement shooting down your spine, your body feeling nuclear under his touch, your emotions being the bomb and his touch was the impact. You felt so wonderfully warm if something touched you, you were sure it would heat up in a second.

You felt his hands move away, pulling at his neck for a thick scarf, wrapping it around your neck delicately, pulling you closer by the ends of it. He laughed, peppermint filling your senses, leaning down quickly. You caught a glance of hazel eyes before you woke up in your lonesome bed.

A pit formed in the bottom of your stomach as you push yourself up on your bed, blinking as you registered who you were just dreaming about. You let out a whisper of a desperate no, dramatically falling back down onto the bed with a groan. Your hands rubbed your eyelids, trying not to picture Spencer leaning down, trying not to remember how he smelt of peppermint. How did you even know that? You scolded yourself as you got up, throwing on some semi-appropriate clothes and heading for the door with your crutches.

You needed some air, you knew he was in your dreamland of romance because he was the last person you talked to last night. After the phone call, you spent the rest of the long night on your bed with a copy of The Picture Of Dorian Gray. Why couldn’t demonic Dorian Gray live in your dreamland? You limped into the coffee shop, holding back a giddy smile as you gave Spencer Reid’s lips one last thought.

You had spent the rest of your day, doing mindless tasks; you read, you cleaned, watched mindless television, anything to keep yourself distracted. Your mind kept drifting towards darker ends, today seemingly worse than the last. Your body yearning desperately for numbing bliss, a gentle reminder that despite all of your romantic dwellings you were still living in an unbearable existence.

You were about to endure another episode of staring up at the ceiling when there was a gentle knock at the door. You welcomed the distraction with a grin, hobbling as fast as you could, over to the door. You opened it to see a delivery woman smiling back at you as she handed you a tiny package, you signed for it quickly and politely shut the door. You sat at your kitchen table, opening the package with a tiny struggle.

It was free from all the tape now, but you couldn’t stop the sick feeling from eating at you. What if you had another stalker? How stupid were you to just bring a package into your house? After everything that had happened, you cursed yourself for your carelessness. You swallowed a quick gulp of air, opening up the package slowly. You let out the air with a tiny gasp, seeing a tiny card on the inside that read Spencer. The note was right next to a box of peppermint tea and a small copy of Oscar Wilde’s The Nightingale and the Rose.

You tried not to let it get to you as fire decorated your cheeks, you opened the note quickly, reading messy handwriting.

Y/N,

Since you said you were always alone, let this keep you company.

-Spencer

You bit the inside of your cheek, heart racing as your stomach filled with the fluttering wings of butterflies. Before you could let your mind go any farther, you suppressed them, choking the life out of beating wings in your stomach. It wasn’t fair to him, to Spencer. He was too good and you were here in your apartment, yearning for a drug to satisfy you. He didn’t need that. He shouldn’t have to fix you and he wasn’t going to be your coping mechanism.  

You stood up, grabbing the peppermint tea, slipping it into the cabinet with a dramatic huff. On your way back to the couch you grabbed the book, sitting down and letting it do the job of keeping you company.

After a cup of peppermint tea, you called Spencer’s phone. You felt a very familiar lump grow in your throat as you heard the first ring. Despite being in the good company of a good book, you couldn’t stop thinking about Spencer. It seemed that thoughts of him kept you more company than anything Oscar Wilde could produce. You let yourself be convinced that he was just a friend, that he was just someone trying to help you get through a rough patch. He was just someone who understood.

Another ring. You squeezed your eyes tight, the sudden urge to hang up the phone was becoming slightly overwhelming. You were about to hang up the phone at the third ring, but then you heard a very breathless “Hello?”

Anxiety exited your system, warmth replacing the void effortlessly. “Hi,” you chuckled, hearing a heavy pant on the other end of the line, “Did I interrupt a workout  routine?”

“No,” Spencer let out a breathy laugh, relaxing at the sound of your voice. It was a welcome distraction from his day, they didn’t have a case, it was just a long day. “I was just cleaning up,”

“Is the doctor dirty?” you questioned, the word choice setting in as your cheeks became a light pink, stuttering to fix your mistake. “I mean, messy! Are you messy?”

Spencer didn’t think the question was all that odd till he realized that it could have been taken out of context and then he let out a tiny chuckle, shaking his head slowly. “No, I’m not dirty, just cluttered,” he answered, a smile on his lips. “Did you get the package?”

“Yes,” Your voice rising in volume with excitement, “I did, it was perfect. Thank you so much.” A tiny piece of guilt slithering into your mind as you stole a glance over at the book next to you. You were about to speak when Spencer cut you off.

“I was just thinking about what you said last night and thought it would cheer you up,”

Your guilty thoughts came to a halt, a blush creeping its way towards your ears as you let out a gentle, “It did,”

“I’m glad it did,”

You let out a soft hum, trying to come up with something to say. You wanted to ask him how his day was, or ask him how he was feeling. But all of those questions seemed weak. You could’ve told him that you wanted to be friends, but your emotions decided for you. “Would you be alright with going out, like as friends?”

“As friends?”

“I would like us to go out as friends, yes.” your voice shook slightly with anxiety as you waited for his response.

Spencer couldn’t fight back the laugh bubbling in his chest, chuckling at how nervous you seemed. “I would love to,”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, you might think I’m weird or something?”

“Y/N,”

“Yes?”

“I would want nothing more than to go out with you, as a friend, that is.”

[djarrex]

Countermeasures || 1

Archives

Fives x ofc!reader

x | next chapter ->

| main masterlist | series masterlist | read on ao3 |

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: mentions of lust? is that a warning? otherwise, nothing yet ;)

chapter summary: Renna (you), an intern who spent the entirety of her internship thus far filing paperwork in the archives of Tipoca City’s medical wing, finally is able to work with a real patient - that patient just so happens to be Fives.

note: Renna will basically be taking the place of AZI-3 in the Conspiracy arc. A lot of the dialogue I wrote is from the episode, and of course I added more to dig deeper into Renna and Fives as characters. When this idea came in my head I was only planning on writing it as a oneshot. As I starting writing this, however, I realized there was so much more that could be done with it since this arc is both a good one and a sad one. If you’re ready to go on this journey with me, then keep going under the cut! <3 Also, I wanted to add that there will be POV changes in this chapter. I don’t know if I’ll stick with that going forward, but we’ll see.

* tbh special thanks to @bvcketfvcker for coming up with the series title and being da Best™ 

***

The archives of the medical wing in Tipoca City, the capital of the watery planet Kamino, were always so cold and lonely. Every single day of your internship thus far has included you being nearly drowned in paperwork, no real field experience to show for it.

You’ve been on Kamino for your medical internship for what, close to six months now? You were still stuck doing paperwork. Maybe at the six month mark you’d be moved up to sterilizing all the medical equipment, which would seem terrible to anyone else, but at least you’d be in proximity to anything remotely “medical”. You were longing to get your hands dirty, to start real field experience, to learn how to heal. You wanted to help people, to help anyone in need. You wanted to learn the practices for saving someone’s life. Everything you wanted, you could not get if you were stuck in the archives with paperwork as your only companion. 

You decided within your first month that you would not let the paperwork and lack of real purpose get to you. So, you made your situation better by wearing - to the best of your ability - a positive attitude. On the day that marked the end of your first month here, the Kaminoans told you that music can be played in the archives as long as it’s not too loud, so you brought in a small radio the very next day. The start of your second month was a little better than the day before. You hummed to the music playing on the radio as you tried to make a game out of filing the paperwork. Turns out, not even a simple game could be made out of something so boring and tedious as filing paperwork.

You lost count of the days you’ve been in Tipoca City, within the archives shelled by the stilted dome structures, after your second month. Every day was exactly the same; you filed and shredded paperwork, organized reports, and finished filling out medical reports that the Kaminoan doctors didn't even want to bother with. Every day you woke up early, headed to the archives, and spent your entire day there in solitude until it was time to head back to your quarters for the night. Lunch was always dropped off to you by a couple of guards from the Kamino Security Team. The guards were always in full grey and white armor but you already knew what they looked like; they were clones, and you’ve seen their face in every file. They were handsome, sure, but there were literally hundreds of thousands of them out there. 

You were pretty sure you were coming up on month six of your monotonous internship. Waking up and getting ready was a routine ingrained in your bones. You were taking the regular route to the archives from your quarters when you were stopped by a couple Kaminoan doctors on the way. To your surprise, they asked you to follow them, which you were hoping translated to you not having to work in the archives anymore. Maybe month six was the lucky number.

You walked behind the tall and slender creatures through unfamiliar halls. You had no idea where you were following them to, but anywhere was better than where you were originally heading. 

They kept walking, with you in tow, when you passed by the only Jedi you’ve ever really spoken to - Master Shaak Ti, a calm and collected Togruta who was known to have a soft spot for the clones here on Kamino. The Jedi nodded in greeting to the Kaminoans in front of you, then over at you. With no words spoken, you were now following the Jedi through the halls, still unsure of the destination. 

Just around the corner, you saw two very decorated troopers coming towards you. They donned blue and white armor with a ton of other accessories. As they got closer, the one trooper removed his helmet and carried it at his side. This trooper had the usual dark brown hair and kept the common clone cut style. The way this clone walked with his helmet pressed to his hip had awoken something in you, though you couldn't put your finger on exactly what that something was.

“General Shaak Ti.” The other clone removed his helmet as he greeted the Jedi. He was blonde and sported a closely shaved cut; despite having the same face and body, the two clone troopers looked completely different. They were unlike any clones you’ve ever seen.

That’s when you noticed another trooper laying on a stretcher behind them; his hair was long enough to be worn in a bun, a tear drop was inked underneath one of his closed eyes. He was also unlike any clone you’ve ever seen - especially since he appeared to be unconscious, He was hooked up to oxygen, you also noticed, as two guards pushed his floating stretcher right by you and around the corner, out of sight once they went down the hall.

You realized how zoned out you were and quickly snapped back to reality - only for only a second, though - as you became transfixed on the clone in front of you on the right, the one with dark hair. You scanned his features a little more now that he was closer; he had a dark goatee that framed his chin and his right temple had the number “5″ inked on the skin. His armor was crazy different from the armor the guards here wore. He looked... good. Uh oh. 

For just a brief moment, the “good looking” trooper’s eyes broke away from his conversation with the Jedi and met yours. Slightly embarrassed, you snapped your head forward and glued your eyes to the Kaminoan’s ankles in front of you.

Just as you started listening in on the conversation, the two clones, the Jedi General, and Dr. Nala Se broke away and turned the corner in the same direction they took the unconscious trooper.

Kriff. You missed the entire conversation. The Kaminoans started moving forward, and you assumed you were still supposed to follow them, so you did. You still had no clue where you were going, but you’ll get there eventually. 

***

Fives’ POV

Fives walked to the left of Rex, a long-neck doctor in between them, while Tup’s unconscious body was guided by two Kamino guards behind them. 

“You will have to say goodbye to your friend now.” The long-neck broke the silence. Fives was worried for his friend. No one, not even Kix, could figure out what was wrong with him. Why would Tup shoot and kill General Tiplar? Fives noticed Tup was acting somewhat strange right before it all happened, but didn’t think too much of it at the time, Now, he’s racking his brain, trying to understand what set Tup off. He’s a good soldier, a good man. He’d never do such a thing in his right mind. 

It was suggested that Tup be sent to Tipoca City, to Kamino, back to his roots, for a better chance of figuring out what was wrong with him. Fives gladly accepted the offer to escort his friend there, and was overjoyed that Rex came along with them.

General Shaak Ti came into view, and the troopers came to a halt. Captain Rex greeted the General, and she turned her attention over to Fives.

“Fives, am I correct?” He nodded. Tup was being pushed from behind them and then around the corner in front of them, quickly going out of view. The General spoke again, her eyes glued on the unconscious trooper being led down the hall. “You’ve served with Tup?”

Fives was desperate to be by his friend’s side right now. “Yes.”

Then he saw you. You, a foreign species to Kamino. What were you doing here? It had been a while since Fives was last on Kamino, but he was sure there weren’t any others like you here before unless they were Jedi - but the only Jedi known to hang around Kamino was General Shaak Ti.

He had noticed you tailing the long-necks before you had even come entirely into view. Fives let his eyes flicker over to you as Tup was being taken away, only to have locked eyes with you for but a second. He noticed you blushed right before you snapped your head forward, obviously embarrassed that you’d been caught staring. General Shaak Ti’s voice broke Fives’ trance - didn’t even notice he was losing focus once he caught your eyes - and it was all over in less than five seconds. 

“You must come with me.” 

Fives quickly snapped his attention back to General Shaak Ti, “with... all due respect, General, I can’t just abandon him now.” The Jedi General smiled reassuringly, and turned to lead Fives and Rex down the hall in the same direction Tup was taken. 

Fives knew where his undivided attention should be, and that was on Tup - his friend - his friend that for some reason just gunned down a Jedi in the heat of battle in the space station just outside of Ringo Vinda, only to come to with no memory of what he had done. Fives cursed himself for thinking of you when his friend was about to be strapped to an exam table, being poked and prodded like some kind of lab scurrier. 

***

Renna’s POV

Dr. Nala Se, the Chief Medical Scientist on Kamino, approached you once you had gotten to the head medical lab and informed you that you’d be the one who would start procedures on a clone trooper who had potentially been exposed to a virus of some kind. You nodded, all too giddy as you gladly accepted the task.

You were escorted by two guards to where you’d be working with the patient. When the door whisked open, you slowly made your way into the quiet room, the door shutting quickly behind you. You glanced to the right, noticing the window that would normally allow you to see into the room next door was blacked out - put into the privacy setting. Strange. 

“You?” The deep voice - a voice that sounded like honey in your ears - put a halt on your thoughts about the darkened window. You knew it was the voice of a clone; the only voices you ever heard were either the slow, drawn out words of the Kaminoans or the clones’. Of course a clone would be in that room, of course a clone would be the subject of your testing.

Who you didn’t expect to see was the clone trooper you saw in passing not even a half hour ago - the one with the dark goatee and number 5 tattooed on his temple - the one who made you blush when he caught you staring. 

You felt yet another blush heat your cheeks before you even registered it was happening. What the hell were you blushing for? He’s a clone, and you’re here to take blood samples and body scans to make sure he’s okay. You knew you were staring at him like a fool, and for way too long. You shook your head slightly in an attempt to reorganize your thoughts. 

“You ok, Miss... miss?” He stood up from his seating position on the cot, and cocked his head to the side with his arms folded across his chest. You nodded your head slowly.

“Renna,” you nearly whispered your name to him - the words almost came out choked - for some reason you had forgotten how to speak in Basic for a moment. 

“Look, Miss Renna, I am not a threat. Neither is Tup.” 

Your brow raised as you studied the clone’s expression. It was hard; his eyes were piercing and his brows were furrowed. Crossed arms flew to his sides, hands tightening into fists. No doubt he was feeling angry and confused.

“T- Tup?” Was that the name of CT-5385? “You’re referring to CT-5385?”

“Tup! The trooper in that room right there?” He pointed over to the darkened window, “He’s a good soldier, my friend, and he’s in the room next door getting - getting tortured by those long-necks.” A beat. “None of us clones go by numbers anymore, by the way.” You closed your eyes for just a moment, trying to think about what to say next. You inhaled deep through your nose, then slowly out through parted lips, watching as his expression went from angry to more... afraid? Worried?

“Trooper, I promise Tup is in good hands. I’ve been briefed on his- his condition... they - we - just want to find out what made him kill Jedi General Tiplar, that’s all. They’ve asked me to do a couple of procedures on you, take some notes, since you were close with Tup. Maybe we can find something in you that will help your friend.” 

The trooper’s expression changed again, softening as his fists unclenched at his sides. Surely he had to understand the gravity of the situation; when you were briefed, it was mentioned that no one on Kamino had any idea why CT-53 - Tup - shot a Jedi General in cold blood, or why he keeps floating in and out of consciousness, murmuring things like “kill Jedi”. Clone trooper Tup seemed to have no memory of what he had done; and so far, no scans were showing anything wrong with him, though his health was deteriorating.

You walked over to the counter where the sterilized needles and scanners resided and started to prep the equipment, reading over notes to see what it is you needed and what you were supposed to be testing him for. Reading through the notes, you realized this trooper’s designation was ARC-5555, and the tattoo “5″ on his temple made sense now. It was actually kind of... cute.

It was silent for a couple minutes while you were getting everything ready when a loud, airy sigh coming from behind you made you turn around to face ARC-5555.

“The name’s Fives.”

***

Fives’ POV

Fives was getting more worried for Tup by the minute. His rising frustration didn’t help, either. General Shaak Ti had engaged the privacy setting on Fives’ only view of his unconscious friend, leaving him in the dark as to what the long-necks were doing to Tup in the room next door. 

Fives sat in the room in silence, alone with his worries and doubts. You were out of his thoughts at this point; the worry and fear he felt for Tup swallowed him whole - until you were the one walking through the door. It could have been any Kaminoan, any droid, yet you were the one they had sent. 

His eyes wide, he watched you slowly walk in as you immediately set your attention to the darkened window to the right side of the room. Fives wanted to know if you knew what they were doing to Tup, why they were hurting him, why Fives wasn’t able to be there by his side. He had a million questions, almost all of them relating to Tup, except for the ones he had about you. 

Fives was sitting on a cot on the other side of the room, and you hadn’t noticed him yet. What is she doing here? Who is she? She definitely isn’t a long-neck. He wanted to ask you all kinds of questions, a mix between wanting to know more about Tup and wanting to know more about you, but all he could muscle out was one word. 

“You?” Fives shook his head in disbelief as the first word he said to you left his lips. It did manage to get your attention, though, because you turned away from the dark window and were now staring directly at him. Fives felt his heart beat just a little harder when he could finally take in your whole figure in more than just a quick glance. You were beautiful - more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen, and wearing the same thing he saw you in earlier; a tucked-in dark grey skin-tight top that came up your neck like clone under-armor blacks did, a white lab coat that came down to your ankles, hugging your curves in all the right ways along the way. The coat was open in the front, save for the one buttoned part right at your waist, just barely keeping the coat together. Your black boots were knee-high, your black leggings tucked into them. You stepped closer to Fives and his heart started racing; he was completely in awe of you, but there was something else, and it made warmth head straight to his groin.

***

Renna’s POV

Fives. That was his name. Not ARC-5555 , just like Tup wasn’t CT-5385. “No clones go by numbers anymore,” he had informed you. Being waist-deep in paperwork all the time never gave you an opportunity to actually work with the clones. All you knew about the clones were their designations, along with whatever the paperwork was filed for. It didn’t occur to you that they had names. 

“Look, is Tup gonna be alright? Have they found anything out?” Fives’ eyes were pleading, begging for some kind of reassurance. 

“Please, sit down.” He huffed, but obeyed. “We’re using hyper level tests, so we should get the results fairly quickly.” He nodded his head, thankful for any little crumb you could give him. “I’m gonna need to get started now, okay?”

Needle in hand and ready to go, you preemptively apologized. 

“Wh- ow!” You jabbed the needle into the side of his neck, a sympathetic smile on your lips. 

“I said I was sorry!” You chuckled quietly. Fives rubbed at his neck and you made you way back over to the counter, inserting the needle into the port next to the computer. 

“Well?” His hand still rubbing at his neck, you squinted your eyes to read the results displayed on the screen. 

“Everything... seems normal.” You weren’t exactly sure what to expect, but you were happy your very first patient wasn’t immediately dying on you.

“Oh, great! That means you can let me out, right?” The excited tone in his voice made it quite difficult to relay the next part to him.

With an apologetic smile, you walked back over and sat on the cot across from him.

“Actually... I’m afraid that’s not possible right now, Fives. I was instructed to keep you in quarantine until we’ve pinpointed the exact cause of Tup’s breakdown. We can’t risk any further casualties.” You couldn't bear to look at him now, so you glued your eyes to a fresh scuff mark on the toe of your boot.

“Like I told you before, I am not a threat, and neither is Tup!” You looked back up at him when his voice raised. Fives wasn’t angry, or at least it didn’t appear that way. He was worried for his friend. 

“I- I believe you, Fives. Unfortunately, I’m not the one to make those kinds of calls. I’m just- just an intern. This is my first day not filing paperwork in the archives. I don’t- I don’t want to mess this up. You’re my first real patient.” You stood up to leave the room, letting your hand rest on his shoulder for just a moment in an attempt to comfort him. Something you never thought you’d be doing - comforting a clone. You told him you’d be back later to check up on him and to perform any tests the doctors deemed necessary. Then you left.

***

As you headed for your quarters for the night, you couldn’t help but think back on your introductory meeting with your very first patient. You replayed your short conversation over and over in your head; you transfixed on his voice, the raw emotion in it that went straight to his facial expressions, and the way he looked at you. You’ve seen his face many, many times in the files you were doused with daily, but most of the clones on Kamino didn’t have anything significant to mark them apart from one another - no scars, tattoos, different hair styles, and were generally clean-shaven. When you first saw Fives, his tattoo and facial hair was what did it for you. You hated to admit it, but you may have just accidentally gotten a crush on the ARC Trooper.

This was all new to you. You never realized clones had such... emotion. Or capable of such emotion, for that matter. You were kept in the dark for the entirety of your internship on Kamino, and now you understood why. You weren’t Kaminoan, you weren’t a Jedi, you were just an intern. In their eyes, there was no reason as to why you should engage the clones, so they kept you busy with paperwork every day. You wondered if you were physically kept away from the clones because you were also human, and therefore were able to share the same emotion and ideals as them. That idea wouldn’t have made sense to you if you thought about it earlier today, but now that you met Fives, it made sense.

Maybe the Kaminoans were fearful that you would be a distraction to them, or them to you. 

***

Tags: @bvcketfvcker @deewithani @chromia7567

[calpalirwin]

True Crime

Loosely based on/inspired by True Crime by Taylor Acorn

Word Count: 2.6k

And away, and away we go!

__

The stars were bright as they stared up at the sky, their eyes blurry. He pressed the last sip of the bottle to her lips and pulled the blanket tighter around them. “Promise me something,” she whispered, her words slow and slurred.

“Anything,” he nodded, lighting a cigarette. 

“Promise me you’ll love me forever.”

“Only if you promise the same.”

She cupped his face in her hands, looking deep into his blue eyes. “Promise.”

“Promise,” he smiled at her before bringing her in for a kiss that tasted like cheap booze, smelled like cheaper cigarettes, and felt like young love that would last lifetimes.

~~~

Y/N woke with a start, the dream replaced with the blaring of the alarm next to her bed. With a groan, she shut off the alarm, wondering if there would ever come a night where she didn’t dream of Lip Gallagher. But after seven months, she wasn’t holding much hope, and the wondering progressed to thoughts of how to come to terms with the fact that this was her life now.

Y/N had no one to blame but herself. Ian had warned her that his brother, while mostly filled with good intentions, was a ticking time bomb of self-destruction, much like all the other Gallaghers. But his charm, sharp wit, and those piercing blue eyes had made it hard for Y/N to resist the older boy. And the almost year they spent together had left her thinking that maybe Ian had been wrong. Maybe she could be the one good thing in Lip’s life that didn’t explode.

But the explosion had happened. And in the fallout, she had lost not only Lip, but herself as well.

As Y/N left her house, out of habit she started to head south. But like every day for the past seven months, she paused thinking if she really wanted to go that way. Any other day she would have turned to go the other way, not risking being in his part of town, not risking going by the places they used to frequent together. But today, she didn’t change her path. The Southside was big enough, and before the fallout she remembered Ian had mentioned his new job at Fiona’s diner. And just because her and Lip weren’t a thing anymore, didn’t mean she had to let go of Ian too. And today, missing her best friend outweighed the risks she’d been avoiding.

She sucked in her breath as she passed by the open field that had been one of her and Lip’s preferred spot to escape to when things got crazy at his house, which was often. She also picked up her pace, but it didn’t matter. The memory replayed anyway.

~~~

“If you could live anywhere, where would you go?” she asked.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Literally anywhere that’s not here. Why? You wanna run away with me? Train should be coming by soon. We could just hop on, and see where we end up.”

Y/N laughed. “We can’t actually leave, Lip. It’s hypothetical.”

“Well why does it have to be hypothetical? Nobody fuckin’ needs me here. I’m smart, you’re hot. We’d find a way to get by.”

Y/N laughed louder, pushing into his shoulder. “Real funny, Lip.”

“I’m serious. I used to think that maybe I was just fuckin’ useless, but I’m starting to think it’s just this city.”

“It is the city, because you are anything but useless.”

Lip scoffed again. “Nah. All I am here nowadays is another mouth to feed. Another body taking up space. I stopped being useful the minute I turned eighteen, and Frank couldn’t cash a check on my existence anymore. But away from here? Fuck, I could be anybody. A somebody.”

His tone was flat, a simplistic statement of facts. But his eyes betrayed the hurt he still associated with who he thought he was, and the bitter disappointment that he’d never be more than what he was now. “Oh, Lip,” she said softly, cupping his face in one of her palms. “You’re so much more than who they think you are.”

For a brief moment, he leaned into her touch, allowing himself to trust in someone other than himself. “You might be the only one who believes in me.”

“That’s what happens when you love someone, Lip.”

“Again, you might be the only one who does. And trust me, I’m not saying this shit to gain sympathy, or to bring down the mood, or whatever.” His shoulders shrugged, “It’s just the reality of the situation.”

“Well, I love you Philip Gallagher. And if you wanna run away, just say the word, and I will happily follow.”

~~~

The bell on the door jingled as Y/N pushed her way inside Patsy’s Pies. A waitress in a white top tucked into black jeans and an apron tied around her waist told her to have a seat wherever, so Y/N slid into one of the booths along the window. As she glanced around the place, she spotted a busboy cleaning up a nearby table, with bright red hair. “Ian!” she called out, her voice bright.

The busboy turned to the sound, a wide grin breaking out across his face as he recognized her. “Give me two minutes!” he told her before hurriedly going back to his task.

Not even a full two minutes later, Ian was sliding in across from her. “Oh, my God, Y/N! How have you been? I haven’t seen you s- Oh… Right…”

She smiled softly, as she reached across the table to pat her friend’s hand. “I’m okay, Ian. Still hurts, but not as bad as it did. And I’m not here to see him. I came here to see you. See how you’re doing.”

“Oh, I’m good. You know… considering.”

“That’s great, Ian. And it looks like you got a nice routine here. Working out okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not the greatest job in the world. Like I know I have it because it’s how Fiona can keep an eye on me. But better than nothing, I guess. How are things with you?”

“As good as they can be, I guess. Taking some classes at the community college. Nothing extremely brag worthy or anything.”

“So same shit, different day?”

She laughed, “Exactly.” She was about to work up the courage to ask how the rest of the Gallagher clan was doing when the bell on the door jangled, and both their heads turned to the sound.

“Oh, fuck…” Ian groaned at the same time Lip mouthed the words himself.

Y/N steeled herself as Lip walked there way, one of his hands coming to rest on the tabletop. “Y/N. Good to see ya. You look good,” Lip greeted quickly before turning his attention to Ian. “I’m gonna grab Liam, check in with Fi, then we can head out.”

“I’ll do it!” Ian volunteered and shot out of the booth before either Lip or Y/N could protest.

“I-” Lip sighed, rubbing at his face. “Okay…” He sighed again before taking a seat on the edge of the bench seat. “So…” he said, fingers drumming on the wood.

“Don’t,” she cut him off. “We don’t have to do this,” she went on, waving a finger between the two of them. “Make pleasant small talk, or whatever. We can just sit here until Ian comes back, and then you guys can go your way, and I’ll go mine, and it’ll be just like it’s supposed to.”

“Alright, fuck me then…” his defensive snark came out.

“Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” she snapped back.

Lip rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Y/N. God forbid I try to be nice to you.”

“See? That’s exactly what I told you not to do. You don’t get to do what you did, and then play the victim, Lip.”

“Do what?! Say hi?!”

“Do anything, Lip! Seven fuckin’ months of radio silence, and the first thing you decide to say to me is ‘hey, you look good’? What fuckin’ shit is that?!”

“So I was just supposed to ignore you?!”

“It was working so far, wasn’t it?! Until you went and ruined it by talking!”

“I ruined it?! You came here- where my family works- but I ruined it?!”

“Yes! Because I was just fine until you came along!”

“Yeah, well so was I!”

“I’m gonna see you at home, Lip…” Ian’s voice piped up, a backpack slung over his shoulder, one of his hands holding Liam’s. “Y/N, it was great to see you. Catch up soon?”

Y/N flashed a smile at the two Gallagher brothers, her demeanor shifting completely. “Of course, Ian. My number’s still the same. Hey, Liam!”

“What do you mean, you’ll see me at home? I’m coming with you,” Lip cut in.

“No,” Ian shook his head. “Liam and I are going home. You two are gonna finish whatever… this is.”

“It is finished,” they both told him.

Ian snorted. “Yeah right… Y/N, if Lip hadn’t walked in when he did, were you going to ask me about him?”

“Yes…” she mumbled.

“And Lip, were you gonna ask me about Y/N the second we left?”

“Yeah, probably…”

“So just talk to each other now, and leave me out of it.”

“I- Fiona would kill me if you left with Liam, and I didn’t go with you, you know that.”

Ian shrugged. “Guess there’s only one thing to do then.”

Lip gave a shake of his head, muttering some curses under his breath. “Fine. C’mon then,” he finally, getting up from the table and motioning for Y/N to follow them.

“Me?” she asked in disbelief. “You’re joking…”

“Really wish I was. But Ian’s right. We should probably finish whatever this is, rather than ignoring it.”

“How mature of you,” she sarcastically crooned at him as she got up. “Let’s go then.”

~~~

The happy chatter around the dinner table in the Gallagher house warmed Y/N. That had been her favorite part about being in their lives. For as chaotic and dysfunctional as they were, the six siblings were always ride or die for each other.

“So,” Lip prompted, once the chatter had died down, and the Gallaghers had disbanded to various parts of the house.

“So?” Y/N asked.

Lip jerked his head in the direction of the back porch. “C’mon, we can talk outside.”

With a huff, she followed him outside, both of them taking a seat on the steps.

“So,” he started again.

“Why?” she demanded, cutting straight to the chase. “Why?” she repeated again, her lip trembling.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s the best you got? You left me there waiting for you, and the best you got is ‘I don’t know’?”

“Don’t be so dramatic… I didn’t leave you there waiting.”

“Oh!” she scoffed, “Right. My bad. You showed up two hours late, said you couldn’t do this, and then left me.”

“Were you really naive enough to think I could leave with you? That I could ever get out of that?” he flung a hand in the direction of the house.

“No,” she said flatly. “No. I was naive enough to think I could trust you to begin with. Ian warned me about you right from the beginning.”

“Yeah, well you should’ve listened. But you were never good at doing what you were told to do now were you? Always doing the opposite just to prove you could.”

“Classic Lip, putting the blame on others for his own screw ups.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” he mockingly pouted. “Did I ruin your fairytale by being a fuck-up?”

She snarled as she gave him a hard shove with enough force to make him have to stick out his hand to catch himself. “My life was just fine before you came along, and fucked everything up!”

“Well I guess I did you a favor by leaving then, huh?!”

“A favor?! You think you did me a favor by making me fall in love with you, letting me believe we could be something, and then leaving?!”

“You think I left for my own health?! I was in love with you, too!”

“If you loved me, then why did you leave?!”

“Because I’m a fuckin’ fuck-up! It’s what I do! I ruin good things because I don’t believe I deserve them!”

“So your solution was to break your promise to me?! You didn’t have to run away with me, Lip! In case you didn’t notice, I didn’t leave that night either! We could have just kept being us!”

The words shocked the fight out of him. “You didn’t leave?”

Y/N shook her head, the fight leaving her too. “No. I only wanted to leave because you wanted to.”

“That’s fuckin’ stupid. You know that right? Only doing something because of me? It’s stupid to pin your life on anyone, especially when that person is me.”

“I didn’t pin my life on you because I’m dependent on you, Lip. I wasn’t kidding when I said my life was fine before you. It was. My life just happened to be better with you in it. I was happiest with you. And I was stupid enough to believe you when said you felt the same.”

“You know you’re the only one I ever meant that shit to?”

“If you meant it, then you shouldn’t have broken your promise. You should have stayed.”

“Yeah, maybe I should’ve. Or maybe we did everything right, and we still end up here.”

“Guess we’ll never know.”

“Guess so. And hey, I’m sorry alright?”

“I don’t want your apology, Lip. I want you to be the person I thought you were.”

“Yeah, me too. But I am sorry. I guess part of me thought I was protecting you by walking away before I could let you down. Protecting myself by leaving before you could leave me. But it didn’t work. I just made a bigger mess of my life. And hurt you in the crossfire.”

“Did Lip Gallagher just admit to his own screw ups?” she teased lightly.

“Ha-ha,” he laughed humorlessly. “Believe it or not, sometimes I’m not a complete ass.”

“Only sometimes,” she continued to tease.

This time he chuckled a little. “Well, as much as I want to, I can’t go back and fix what I did. And I can tell you I’m sorry all night, but it doesn’t mean you’ll forgive me. And I can’t blame you if you don’t. I mean, it's not like I forgave myself, either. But, kinda glad for running into you, and getting to talk this out. I’ve uh… missed you being around.”

She smiled softly. “Yeah, it was nice. I’ve uh… missed being around you, too.”

“So… where do we go from here? Is this where I swear that I’ve changed, and I’ll do better if you give me a second chance?”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know. Do I want to be with you again? Yes. But I don’t think it’s as simple as that. What if I haven’t changed? What if my life flies off the rails again- which it will- and I push you away again? I can’t guarantee that I won’t hurt you again. That my instinct won’t be to run the minute things get hard.”

“I guess we gotta decide if that’s a risk worth taking.”

“Is it? Am I the risk worth taking again?”

“Oh, Lip…” Y/N said softly, resting her hand against his face the way she used to. Her thumb brushed along his cheekbone as he leaned into the touch, his eyes watching her carefully. “You’re always gonna be my risk worth taking.”

__

Taglist

@thanossexual​ @markofdean79​ @philthepegacorn​ @youngblood199456​ @tarltongrl96 @ineedmorefanfics​ @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @maybeememez​

[keelywolfe]

FIC:  Someone to Drive ch.2 (standalone)

Summary: The road trip continues!

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Melancholy, Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Developing Relationship

Part 1

~*~

Read Part 2 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

That first day, Stretch slept through most of it. Curled up in the passenger seat, he didn’t bear witness to the movement of the sun overhead, traveling across the sky the same way they were traveling along the highway. Signs passed by, billboards for luxury apartments and advertisements for the closest fast food drive-thru, along with more esoteric restaurants offering old fashioned family meals and fun.

They stopped for gas twice. The first time Edge paid at the pump and the second, he went inside the convenience store where he ignored the stares of the other patrons as he purchased drinks and a selection of pastries and snacks with expiration dates that might well extend into the next decade. There wasn’t time to inspect them too closely. The car was locked but he was deeply uncomfortable leaving Stretch sleeping in it alone and surrounded by unfamiliar Humans.

In the brief time it took him to gather up supplies, Edge kept the car in sight, waiting impatiently in the line while the Humans in front of him purchased gas and cigarettes and lottery tickets. No one approached the car, or him for that matter, and the clerk at the register hardly stammered when she gave him the total.

The bag went into the backseat, except for the drinks that ended up in the holders in the middle console; unsweetened green tea for him and lemonade for Stretch. Both were room temperature before Stretch woke. By then, they were through the remainder of this state and well past the ‘Welcome to the Pacific Wonderland’ sign to the next one.

They were as far away from every place Edge considered home as he’d ever been when Stretch stirred in a waking up sort of way rather than the sleepy rearranging of the past few hours. He sat up, his hood sliding half-off, and blinked owlishly as he looked around at the car. When his eye lights landed on Edge, he seemed to wake up a little more, slumping back into his seat.

Edge only glanced at him out of the corner of his socket and kept his gaze on the road.

“where are we?” Stretch asked. His voice was hoarse from sleep, rasping dryly.

“Somewhere in Oregon,” Edge said. He picked up the lemonade from the console without looking at it and held it out in offering. “According to the sign, they hope we enjoy our visit.”

The lemonade was nearly snatched from his hand and he listened as Stretch drank thirstily. The bottle was empty by the time he sighed out a grateful, “thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” That passed as the only conversation between them. There was no questioning the direction they were headed, no wheedling requests to stop at the next exit to a ridiculous roadside attraction. Edge only drove on, keeping the radio low because it seemed like the thing to do when your not-really-a-friend looked to be on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

The only other sound was the occasional vibration of Stretch’s phone. He glanced at it a few times but never seemed to reply to any texts.

Edge already texted Undyne when they’d first stopped for gas, along with his own brother. Undyne replied with several obscenities and an agreement to feed the cat. Red did not reply at all and no one else tried to contact him. There weren’t many who would.

Mostly, Stretch sat slouched in his seat, watching the blur of passing landscape outside the window. His hands occasionally tapped on his knees to the rhythm of whatever was playing on the radio and he sometimes sang along under his breath, almost too soft to be heard.

Eventually he discovered the bag of food in the backseat and scrounged through its offerings, selecting a cellophane-wrapped cheese danish for himself. The banana nut muffin was given to Edge with its plastic packaging removed, carefully wrapped in a napkin from the bag to keep crumbs from scattering over the car interior. It was surprisingly thoughtful, and Edge took his eye lights from the road long enough to murmur a thank you.

Stretch didn’t reply, already wolfing down his own pastry, though he was careful to keep the crumbs contained.

When he finished, he tucked the wrappers back into the paper bag, bringing back out with him the bottles of water Edge purchased. They replaced the empty tea and lemonade ones and both of them settled back into a much briefer silence, broken when Stretch abruptly said, “advertising.”

Edge blinked, glancing at him, “I beg your pardon?”

Stretch nodded towards the window. “that billboard. it said ‘advertising.”

“Yes?” Edge asked, cautiously. “That is what billboards do.”

“uh huh. benefit!” Stretch said triumphantly. Edge was beginning to worry about what sort of chemicals the ‘Kum and Go’ station was adding to their pastries when Stretch added, “cold!”

The point of the game clicked and Edge looked out at the approaching signs, searching. “Diesel,” Edge said, firmly.

“aw, come on,” Stretch moaned. He flopped back dramatically into his seat or at least as much as the seat belt allowed. “street signs don’t count, only billboards!”

“If that was a rule, you should have specified before you began,” Edge said, then added, “East.”

The competition began in earnest after that and the next few hours passed in a flurry of exchanged words in careful alphabetical order, peppered with the occasional out of place curse and if Stretch used ‘Qdoba’ from the green exit sign rather than a billboard in defiance of his own rules, Edge was too relieved for the dreaded ‘q’ to be vanquished to offer any protest.

It was nice, in a way, the dappled green of the passing trees around them, the billboards, and the sunshine pouring in through the windows as they quarreled, only laughingly instead the real arguments they’d had in the past.

Edge still didn’t know why they were here at all, but he was finding it didn’t really matter. Not yet.

~*~

It was barely dark when Edge pulled off into the rest stop that evening. Normally he wouldn’t have considered sleeping before midnight, but then, normally he wouldn’t have been up at three am in the morning, nor would he have spent the entire day driving. The billboard game petered out with the encroaching darkness concealing far too many words, and Stretch was half-drowsing next to him, rousing as Edge put the car into park.

“huh?” Stretch asked, drowsily. Despite all the sleep he’d had, there were still darkened smudges beneath his sockers, as if the slumber only glanced over him instead of settling in. He scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand, blinking too hard and confused. “we stopping here?” Stretch sat up and got a better look at their surroundings. “a rest stop?” he asked doubtfully.

“Yes,” Edge agreed, unfastening his seat belt. “I may not need a bathroom, but I do need a rest.”

“a rest stop,” Stretch repeated. "we're gonna sleep at a rest stop?"

"I believe it’s traditional for road trips." Edge opened his door and stepped out into the cooling air, groaning as his aching joints basked in the chance to extend his long limbs to their fullest.

Stretch followed him, asking nervously, "isn't that illegal?"

"Not in this state. Besides,” Edge circled around to the back of his car and opened the hatchback, “no one will be able to see us back here.”

His brother had mocked him when he’d purchased an SUV, rambling on about soccer moms and incels. Edge had ignored him. Much as he would have enjoyed a convertible like Papyrus’s, practically demanded that at least one of them own something with more space and a bright red paint job was an invitation to police for a traffic stop. His face was already invitation enough, in Edge’s opinion, and when he’d bought the SUV, he’d gone with plain black.

In the back, he kept a small emergency kit stored away. Years of living in Snowdin taught him to be prepared and it was, with road flares, small traffic cones, and a neatly folded-up blanket. Edge moved the box of supplies to the front seat, out of the way, then took out the blanket and shook it out. He frowned at the size of it. “I’m sorry, I only have the one.”

Stretch only shrugged. He was gathering up the trash from the last of their snacks and the empty drink bottles, tossing them all into a nearby bin. “it’s fine, it’s not that cold.”

Very quickly they figured out that a larger blanket would have only been of minor assistance. The SUV was excellent for moving boxes and small furniture, less so for sleeping arrangements. Even with the back seats folded down, there was only enough room for them to both lay full-length if they stretched out at a diagonal. It meant sleeping far closer than he usually ever was to Stretch, both of them pressed up against each other with the musty shared blanket spread over them.

Stretch didn’t seem to mind, offering no protest to the close quarters. Point of fact, he settled in close with a sort of muted enthusiasm, as if craving the contact. Edge didn’t deny him, only sliding his arm under Stretch’s head in a very narrow makeshift pillow.

They lay together in the silent dark and as tired as he was, sleep was slow in coming. Headlights would cut through the windows as other cars pulled in and left, the traffic sounds too close, and the car interior too quiet, in a way his apartment was not, showcasing their mutual breathing. Stretch shifted next to him, his long legs bumping into Edge’s.

“i heard you moved out,” Stretch said suddenly. His voice was soft and still too loud in the quiet.

“I did,” Edge agreed and nothing more.

Stretch didn’t ask why, which was good because Edge was tired of not being able to explain, even to Red. Beneath his careless attitude and bluster, Edge knew his brother was hurt by him leaving, worried that there was no one to watch his back. Monsters often lived several generations in one home and Red surely wondered why Edge didn’t want to live in his. He wasn’t sure how to make his brother understand that he wanted a chance at something else, that simply being on the surface wasn’t enough to chase away the ghosts of Underfell. He wanted to live on his own, to figure out something that he didn’t have the words to express.

Not that he needed them, he supposed. Red always had more than enough words for both of them.

Stretch hummed curiously, “how’s that going? i mean, having your own place?”

“It’s—” Edge’s breath caught as Stretch’s pelvis shifted against his own, bumping up against his hip in what was certainly a deliberate little grind. It was distracting and not nearly as alarming as it should be. His mouth filled with soft magic almost unconsciously as it happened again. Belatedly, Edge finished on, “fine,” though he no longer remembered the question. His focus was on the slender body pressed close to his own, the surge of warmth rising underneath the threadbare blanket.

They'd kissed once before, a long time ago when they’d all still been underground. The self-proclaimed skeleton clan made up of, well, themselves, meeting for movie nights. On that night, his brother brought over a few jars of his latest batch of moonshine, the clear liquid deceptively tasteless and enormously strong. A small glass that would normally only ease the reality around them instead turned it into a blurred whirlwind, and by the next day Edge had a killer headache and few memories of the night before, save one.

Of him and Stretch, and as it turned out, their antagonism was easily muted behind the mask of hard liquor. They’d bumped into each other in the kitchen entryway, Stretch going in and Edge coming out, and their faces were so close together that to Edge’s alcohol-soaked thoughts, a kiss seemed to be the only reasonable solution.

He couldn’t recall if it was a good kiss or not, only that Stretch accepted it and that his mouth was as filled with honeyed sweetness as his words never were. But when Edge tried for another, Stretch held him back. He’d offered a lopsided smile and said with uncommon gentleness, “sorry, edgelord, i’m not really interested in sleeping with you tonight.”

Edge hadn't bothered to point out that he hadn’t offered to sleep with him. It seemed churlish when he'd already been rather kindly brushed off and neither of them ever mentioned it again. He’d long since written it off as a moment of drunken foolishness and nothing more.

He wondered if that statement still stood. The leg sliding up his own and the knee teasingly pressing almost between Edge’s femurs seemed to indicate it did not.

Edge didn’t move as a hand settled on his ribcage, beneath the blanket but over his t-shirt. He only inhaled sharply through his nasal cavity and waited. He wasn’t sure what to feel when that hand did not move, fingers only flexing, the tips briefly digging in as their warmth bled slowly through thin cotton.

"is this…all right?" Stretch asked uncertainly.

Edge closed his sockets, took in a long shaky breath and let it out in a hiss of, "Yes."

The word barely finished before a mouth caught his own. As sweet as his blurred memories, stuttering nervously before firming as Edge turned towards Stretch and their bodies slotted together easily, like pieces from the same puzzle.

Fumbling in the backseat of a car was a stage he’d skipped when it came to his sexual awakening, mostly for lack of a car. The environment lacked a great deal, room, comfort, privacy, and yet, it was difficult to care. How could he care when Stretch was shivering against him, little moans and pants escaping him as Edge let his hands wander, finding sensitive joints and cartilage to stroke and tweak, nibbling along his mandible to explore the delicate cavern of his audial canal.

It was less awkward than he might have thought, their past arguments were as distant as their home. There was only here in this car, with the occasional flash of headlights illuminating them and offering glimpses of barely exposed bone and wide sockets. Edge only tensed when Stretch fumbled with his belt buckle, wary when a hand wormed its way down the front of his pants. People were often surprised by his preference for a vulva over a penis, a few were even offended, acting as if he’d misled them or perhaps that it was beneath him to prefer being penetrated during sex. More than one sexual encounter had been ruined by the assumption that he would be the one using his cock and he couldn’t help tensing as he waited to see if this would be one of them.

But Stretch didn’t comment, his slender fingers moving with no emotion other than eagerness. When Stretch tugged impatiently at the waistband of Edge’s tight jeans, he helped shove them down, only to startle as Stretch followed their downward path, slithering lower with bony fingertips, then the wet heat of his mouth.

Edge clapped both hands over his own mouth, choking off a cry at the slippery touch of a tongue against bone and ectoflesh. He stared up the fabric ceiling of his car as it was briefly illuminated in the flash of headlamps, his pants caught around his knees and Stretch’s face buried between his femurs, only closing his sockets when the rising pleasure and that clever tongue became too much, sending him shuddering over a gloriously toe-curling peak.

All too soon Stretch crawled back up over him, his eye lights overbright and his mouth wet as he stuttered out, “god, you—you’re so—”

Edge never got to hear exactly what he was. He opened his mouth to the slick press of Stretch’s against it and tasted himself on his stroking tongue. There in the stuttering darkness, he never did find out why they were here, but he did learn a few things about Stretch and about himself.

He thought perhaps the soft, deep cry Stretch made when he came was his best discovery on this trip so far.

tbc

[babymetaldoll]

Danger Days - Chapter seventeen: “Falling into pieces”

Word count: 7,8K

Summary: Joey talks with Matthew for the first time ever since breaking up. Gerard opens up with Mikey about his true feelings for Joey.

Warnings: Cursing, angst, mention of sexual assault.

A/N: Do you think Matthew is gonna be excited to be a dad?

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |

--

Matthew kept asking his mom what time it was. He had been doing the same ever since he woke up around ten in the morning. He was anxious. His whole body hurt; he was suffering from several wounds, but still, what hurt him the most was not being able to talk to his girl.

- "Hey"- Paget whispered as she walked into the room with two cups of coffee- "Hello Marilyn, I brought you this."

- "Thank you, honey"- the two women hugged for a second, then the actress walked to her friend.

- "How do you feel?"

- "Like I was in a car crash, literally"- he answered and smiled- "I'm ok. My knee is still in place, which is amazing. I thought I was going to return to the crutches for another six months."

- "You are very lucky, your car is smashed... I can't believe you don't have a scratch."

- "I have many, many bruises, doesn't that count?"- Matthew whispered, still in pain.

- "I think it does"- his friend joked- "I got you these"- Paget opened a bag and put on the bed all the stuffed animals the young man had made- "I took all the stuff from your car, I had the feeling you might need these."

- "Thank you"- he softly smiled and looked at the handmade toys.

- "Everybody says hi"- Paget tried to take Matthew away from any sad thoughts he had- "Do you know when you will be discharged?"

- "No, the doctor said a couple more days."

- "Again, a car crash."

- "Yeah..."- Matthew smiled at his friend, and she smiled back- "Thank you for being here."

- "That's what friends do... hey, can I get you something to eat?"

- "I'm ok."

- "I'm not coming until tomorrow, so I'm gonna go get you some candy for later"- Paget turned around and left the room for a few minutes.

- "What time is it, mom?"

- "It's noon, baby"- she answered and walked to him, kissing his forehead- "Try to sleep a little more, I'll wake you up when she calls, ok?"- he nodded and closed his eyes. He really couldn't wait anymore.

Gerard looked at Joey warming up at the other side of the room, her eyes closed, her headphones on. He sighed, thinking she wasn't in love with him. She had never been. Not like he was, at least. She wasn't going to be his. Not without a fight. Could he win a battle against Matthew? He was a cheater, but Gerard was married. That made him a cheater too.

- "Hey!"- Mikey's hand smacking his arm took him from his thoughts- "Why are you staring at her?"

- "I was just... thinking about... nothing, I guess."

- "I'm starting to think maybe Frank is right"- and Gerard turned to his younger brother pretending to be insulted.

- "Don't be stupid."

- "Then stop drooling. You are not fooling anyone!"

- "Come on, kids! It's showtime!"- Jeffrey walked in clapping his hands- "Joey! You too!"- he yelled, and the girl took out her headphones.

- "What?"

- "Show, now! Come on!"

- "Sorry"- the girl smiled and sprinted over the band. Frank's arms locked around her as he stood in the hallway next to the stage and kissed her shoulder upon her Megadeth t-shirt.

- "Take care"- and the drummer rolled her eyes.

- "I'm gonna be sitting moving my arms. I don't see the danger."

- "I'm just saying"- she smiled, and she leaned to kiss his cheek.

- "You make it so hard to hate you, Jersey."

- "That's what my wife always says."

- "I love your wife so fucking much."

- "I love her too"- he chuckled- "Have you ever noticed our conversations always end up being weird?"- and she smiled.

- "That's 'cos you are so fucking weird, Frank"

Joey couldn't help but laugh in deep joy for a second. She loved her job and her bandmates. She was finally where she always wanted to get as a drummer. Her personal life was a mess, though. Was that the price to pay to be successful? Getting a shitty love life and a whole mess in your head?

- "I finally get what happened with Andy, in Devil Wears Prada... I hated that fucking movie, but shit, I feel just like her now."

The kids at that show were on fire, which helped the weary band perform better. It was getting harder and harder to keep on playing after all those months of touring. They all needed to get a few days off to sleep and do nothing. Traveling was exhausting. Joey had never thought about that until this leg of the tour.

- "Danke Germany!"- Gerard yelled, and the crowd yelled right away. Mikey turned his back to the kids and looked at Joey smiling. She looked happy when they were on stage. That's why he always kept an eye on her when they were performing.

- "Give me all your fucking money!"- Gerard shouted, announcing the next song- Well, are you ready, Ray?

- "Yeah!"

- "How about you, Frank?"- and Iero made the weirdest noises on the mic

- "How about you, Joey?"- and the girl widened her eyes smiling as Gerard stood in front of the drum, reaching out the mic to her.

- "Yeah!"- and Gerard grinned.

- "How about you, Mikey?"

- "Fucking ready!"

- "I think I'm alright! One, two, three, four!!"

It felt for a minute like she wasn't the supporting drummer but one of the band. And it felt incredible.

The hospital was busy. Nurses and doctors walked outside in the hallways. Matthew was trying to concentrate on anything, but he couldn't take his eyes off his phone. They had brought him lunch already, but he wasn't hungry- and Paget had left him an obscene amount of candy- so he left the tray untouched. He only had the jelly. And only because his mother forced him.

He was weary though, he felt hurt, physically beaten. He was taking it like a champ 'cos he didn't want to scare his mom, but in reality, he was shocked. He had never realized how short life could be. He had never had any kind of experience like this before, and this one showed him one thing: the important things in life are the simplest. The ones you take for granted.

- "What do I love the most in life? My family, watching my nephews grow up, my mom... Yami, my Yami's smile, her voice... everything about her"- Matthew's eyes were stuck in his cellphone's screen as he thought about everything that had happened in the last days- "If there is one thing I need every day for the rest of my life is having her next to me. I'm not gonna let her go, no matter what".

If he could travel in time and slap himself, he would. He would also kick himself in the nuts and never go to that party at all. But he couldn't. And he had to live with it. Somehow.

Joey yelled goodnight to her friends and ran out of the van to her room before anyone could say anything to her. On the ride back to the hotel, they had all been briefed about the next day. They were leaving at seven in the morning. They had to meet in the lobby. They had press and a radio interview in Copenhagen at one. And Joey had the chance to stay at the hotel and rest. Everybody told her to do so. And she didn't argue with that, she wanted to rest, and most of all, she didn't want to be at any interview or close to Gerard.

- "Goodnight, kids!"- she yelled and waved as she ran to the elevator. Gerard looked at her with a sorry glance, and his brother caught it right away.

- "Are you ok?"- Mikey asked and raised an eyebrow.

- "What? Yeah, I'm just tired"- the Way brothers looked at each other, both of them knowing the oldest was lying.

- "Sure... just don't let your exhaustion get in the way"- Mikey stated and walked away.

- "Wait, what the fuck?"- Gerard asked, making the, most likely, wrong decision to follow his younger brother.

- "Come on, Gerard! Stop denying it! You have a crush on her"- and Gerard groaned, exhausted from the same conversation. Mainly because he was running out of excuses to prove people wrong.

- "So do you! So does everybody! 'Cos you are all telling me the same shit over and over again when I don't!"- the brothers got into the elevator on their own and continued arguing.

- "I fucking know you! And I can't believe I didn't see it before! You are fucking drooling all the time! You look like a fucking teenager!"

- "Oh! shut up!"- Gerard frowned and crossed his arms on his chest- "I don't have a crush on her. I am a happily married man! Just because you have been obsessed with her ever since you met her doesn't mean so am I!" They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes until the door opened on their floor, and both stepped out of the elevator.

- "Have you tried to get anything with her?"- Mikey asked and followed his brother to his room.

- "I don't wanna talk about this"- Gerard simply answered.

- "Which means yes."

- "No, I haven't 'cos I don't like her! I have no feelings for her!"- stains of red  hair dye were on Gerard's neck as he scratched it, tired of the conversation, and at the same time tired of denying the truth. One part of him wanted to tell his brother, to have someone to finally open up.

- "I don't want you to hurt her, Gerard."

- "Thank you for being concerned about her the most, instead of your brother"- Gerard snorted and opened his door, followed by his brother. He took out his shoes and laid on his bed like a dead man.

- "I care about her, and if you have feelings for her, you are fucked up!"

And suddenly, it was just too much for Gerard.

- "I know"- the singer whispered, and his brother's chest tightened at those words- "Do you think I want this? It's fucking agony! She stays as far away from me as possible, and she rejected me when I told her how I feel"- Gerard chuckled at his words- "Can you believe that? It's high school all over again! She keeps pushing me away each time I try to get closer to her, ever since the beginning."

Mikey widened his eyes, listening to his brother's confession, as he stood in front of him in shock.

- "You told her you like her?"

- "Yeah"- Gerard whispered and sighed, defeated. It was useless to deny the truth anymore- "I told her I loved her from day one."

- "Did you try to... kiss her?"

- "I succeeded, actually. After months of longing and thinking about it, I kissed her...."

- "What did she do?"- Mikey was whispering, not believing a word. Had Joey kissed his brother?

- "She stopped, told me to get away from her... and when I tried again, and she kissed me back. I thought, "Shit Gerard, you nailed it, she likes you too!" but then she called me Matthew"- Gerard's voice shook, and his brother looked at him, nearly shocked. Was he going to cry? Was he that affected by the drummer?

- "When did you..."

- "After the show in Valencia."

- "You sick bastard! She was drunk!!"- the youngest Way nearly yelled and kept walking across the room, brushing his hands against his face and making a serious effort not to hit his brother- "What the fuck Gerard?! She was intoxicated, and you tried to kiss her?"

- "I didn't try. I told you I succeeded! It was so good, it felt so fucking right"- the singer made a pause and wiped off the few tears that fell from his eyes.

- "I can't believe it! You abused her when she was drunk!" - but Gerard ignored the accusation and continued talking.

- "She wasn't drunk the first time, by the way"- and Mikey frowned.

- "You kissed her more than once!"

- "Yeah, that day you left me alone with her... it was so sweet, so tender..."

- "She was fucking depressed, crying, and affected by her boyfriend!! Gerard! What the fuck is your problem!! It's the sickest shit I've ever heard you do!"

- "Don't you think I feel like the shit too? I know I fucked it up! I just couldn't help it! I love her! I can't stand the fact she is suffering for an asshole who cheated on her! I need to fix her! I needed to..."- but Mikey didn't let him finish.

- "You are married. You don't have the moral to judge Gubler for cheating!"

- "I know"

- "And you love her? You are married! Don't you love Lynz anymore?"

- "I love her so much, Mikey! That's what's killing me too! 'Cos I love both of them! I wanna be with both! I need to have them both!"

- "Dude... that shit is sick!"- Mikey was shaken.

- "I know! That's the worst part. I know what I feel is wrong! I can't love Joey. I can't mess things with her 'cos she works with us and is fantastic as our drummer. But at the same time, it's like she is a magnet I can't keep away from! Like she is my earth, and I'm her moon, orbiting around her!"

Gerard sat down and started crying.

- "I don't know what's wrong with me! From day fucking one! I looked at her, and I knew she was going to be the end of me! And I've been dealing with this all along..."

Mikey had no idea what to do. He was in shock. Sure, he knew Gerard was weird around Joey, but he never thought it would be this bad. He always thought he didn't like her. And it turned out to be the complete opposite.

- "Until this morning, I was sure she was going to leave, not only for her stupid boyfriend but because of what happened..."

- "That's why she had been giving you the cold shoulder"- Mikey whispered, thinking out loud.

- "And I deserve it, I guess. I kissed her and told her I loved her... what the fuck is my problem?"

- "I don't know, but you really fucked it up"- Mikey nodded in silence at his statement and finally sat next to Gerard. His older brother brushed his hands against his face and wiped off the tears.

- "I feel I love her, you know? Like... a fucking piece of my heart I never knew was missing just appeared, and I need to keep her close, no matter what, 'cos if I don't, I'm gonna die."

- "Well, you are gonna have to learn to let that part go, 'cos there is no way, and I mean it, no way she is ever going to be with you."

Mikey was brutally honest, in part 'cos he was mad at Gerard, but mostly because he knew it was the truth. Joey wasn't in love with him. And even if she was, she would never let him leave his wife for her.

- "I know... and yet, I can't stop trying"- Gerard made a pause- "I hated you so bad for being so close to her... you are all so fucking close to her."

- "I always thought it was weird you were so distant."

- "I didn't know how to act around her. She smiles, and I have no fucking clue what to say."

- "You are fucked."

- "Yeah"- the two of them made a long pause.

- "You are gonna have to get rid of your feelings, Gerard."

- "I know... any clue how?"

- "No..."

- "And knowing right now she is talking to him, that shit kills me"- Mikey sighed. That was killing him too. But he didn't say a word.

The computer was on the bed. Joey sat in front of it, FaceTime was open, but she still couldn't find the guts to press "call." She just stared at the screen and sighed. She wanted to know about him, she was worried about his health after the accident. But she didn't know how to deal with it. With the whole "you broke my heart" part of the conversation.

- "Ok, let's do this. And you are not talking about any feeling, just about his health. It's gonna be a short call."

And not thinking about it again, she started the video call.

- "Hello baby!"- Marilyn's face filled the screen, and Joey's body shook with fear, anxiety, and excitement.

- "Hi! How are you?"

- "Great! How was the show?"

- "It was amazing! The kids were nuts today!"- and Joey yawned- "But I am dead, sorry. I just showered and put on my pajamas."

- "That's ok..."- there was a silence, Joey knew what was gonna happen, and she decided to treat it like a band-aid

- "And how's Matthew?"- she just ripped it off, pretending it didn't hurt

- "He is right here. He has been waiting for your call all day."

- "Mom!"- he whined, embarrassed. Joey had to bite her lips not to smile as she heard his voice somewhere near the phone. She felt her body shaking at that sound.

- "I'm gonna let you two kids talk. I'll be outside, bye honey!"

- "Bye Marilyn!"

Joey waved at the screen and noticed all the movements when the phone left the woman's hand. Two seconds later, Matthew's face filled the screen, and her heart stopped. He was bruised. He looked severely hurt. And yet, he had a massive smile on her lips as soon as he saw her.

His heart started beating so fast on his chest as soon as he laid eyes on her, he was sure one of the machines around him was going to start beeping. Neither of them said a word for a moment. They just stared.

- "FaceTiming him was a mistake. A normal call would have been so much better,"- Joey thought and took a deep breath before saying- "Hey, how do you feel?"

- "Good... I'm good. It looks worse than it is, maybe 'cos I get bruised a lot... 'cos I'm so white and... I'm a peach"- Matthew started rambling.

- "What happened?"- Joey stopped his rambling 'cos she knew he could go for hours.

- "A truck missed a red light and hit my car, but I'm ok, really... not even a broken bone."

- "What about your knee?"

- "It's still in place."

- "Now that's a miracle!"- Joey chuckled and regretted it right away, she was melting, and hearing Matthew's laughter like a cascade of joy didn't help either. Her heart kept racing, and her palms were sweating.

- "Yeah! I thought I was gonna have to spend another year in those crutches."

- "It's a good thing they are still in your closet."

- "A part of me knew I was stupid enough to injure myself again"- the actor smiled and shrugged. However, that movement hurt, and he involuntarily winced in pain.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah, I just... forgot that hurts"- Joey nodded and looked at him. She wanted to end that call before she would burst into tears, which was about to happen any second now.

He was the father of her child. They were having a baby together, and he had no idea. All the thoughts spinning around her head were too much. It scared her to think about how everything was going to be when it came to the moment to talk about it, and she was sure that the moment wasn't that one.

- "Well, you should rest. I just wanted to know if you were ok, and..."- the girl started saying, but Matthew stopped her.

- "Wait, no... don't hang up yet"- his voice was a plea, and desperation came from each word he spoke, even his eyes looked at her with sadness and longing- "Please talk to me."

- "We are talking. You are clearly in pain. Maybe you should rest."

- "Please, don't go. I needed to talk to you for so long."

- "No, Matthew."

- "I need you to listen. I need you to forgive me."

- "No, Matthew, I'm tired; I don't wanna do this, not now, not ever. I just called to know if you were ok. I can see you are not half as bad as I imagined, which makes me happy. But I don't wanna talk about us."

- "Fine, that's ok, we don't have to talk about us, let's talk about anything else."

- "Matthew"- Joey knew just talking to him about the weather was a threat. Why? 'Cos he was charming, and she loved him. She didn't want to forgive him, and seeing his face wasn't helping in keeping that resolution.

- "Please, tell me, how was your day?"- she sighed and looked away, locking her eyes in her nails- "How was the show?"

- "It was good"

- "When do you leave for Denmark?"

- "Tomorrow at seven."

- "It should be a long drive from Hamburg"- Matthew was honestly desperate to make conversation, and the subject made it obvious.

- "Jeffrey said four hours, time I plan to spend sleeping."

- "Are you doing any more press with the band?"- at that minute, anything that came through Gubler's head that could help him keep her in line was a good subject.

- "I hope not, at least not tomorrow"- Joey kept staring at her nails, avoiding his eyes. Matthew couldn't stop staring at her, sitting on her bed, in pajama, obviously exhausted but still talking to him. That was a good sign, right?

- "You looked gorgeous at the Valencia show"- he sort of whispered and saw her cheeks turning red of embarrassment- "I told you that was a great outfit."

- "Yeah... I remember"- she sighed and looked at him, raising an eyebrow- "So, did you actually watch it? I thought you would be working at the time."

- "I stopped everything and forced them to watch you play"- Joey chuckled at those words, and Matthew felt he was a tiny baby step closer to win her back- "I wasn't going to miss it. It was my chance to see you live, and you kicked ass." The girl felt the blush in her cheeks as she looked at her fingers again, playing with them on the blanket of the bed.

- "Thanks..."- Matthew stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at her.

- "You look so beautiful tonight"- but she raised her eyes and frowned

- "Don't"

- "Sorry"- he whispered and sighed- "So... Paget came to see me today"- that was the only thing that came to his mind

- "How is she?"

- "Good, she bought me so many candies I'm gonna have a sugar rush until Halloween"- and he chuckled.

- "I'm jealous. Mikey took away all my candy today."

- "Why?"- the boy frowned.

- "He said I can't have that much sugar"- and Joey bit her tongue. She couldn't eat that much sugar being pregnant. She was pregnant with Matthew's baby.

- "What is he? The sugar police?"- and the girl slightly smiled.

- "Yeah, I guess he is."

- "How is he?"

- "He hates you."

- "I guess everybody hates me, I hate me... mom hates me."

- "I surely doubt it."

- "Believe me, she does."

- "Anyway, we are not talking about that..."

- "Are we ever going to talk about that?"- and Joey knew the answer to that - "Yes, I guess we will... we have to talk, "But not about what you are thinking, cheater."

- "Good, great, yeah, awesome, we have to talk, I need to..."- but Joey stopped him again.

- "Not now, not today. When I come back to Los Angeles, we can meet, have a coffee and talk about it." Matthew nodded. He didn't have another choice but to agree with her terms. He wanted to talk to her, and he had to go along with her flow to win her back. Not along with his desires.

- "Do you want me to pick you from the airport?"

- "No thanks, I can take a cab."

- "You are gonna bring a million bags..."

- "I can handle it, don't worry"- her voice was so serious. Matthew knew he shouldn't insist.

- "Ok... how's your mom and dad?"

- "They are ok. They miss me."

- "I miss you too, so fucking much."

- "Ok, gonna hung up now."

- "I'm sorry, I just.... needed to see you."

- "And you saw me, and I wanted to know if you are ok, and now I know you are, so... I guess we are both..."- but no word came from Joey's lips for a second. She just zoned out, looking at Matthew- "I guess I should go, I have to get up real early, and I'm tired."

- "Of course, I don't wanna keep you up."

- "I'll call you when I get to Los Angeles."

- "Yes, please, let me know you are ok."

- "Do you know when you'll be discharged?"

- "In two days."

- "Good"- she nodded and bit her lips- "Ok, so, talk to you in a few days."

- "Yes... well... would it be ok if I called you sometime?"- she didn't know what to say- "Or text you, or something... just to make sure you are alright."

- "I'm alright."

- "I still get worried about you... traveling and all"- she looked at him, there was so much sorrow in his eyes, in his words.

- "You can text me if you want"- and a sigh of relief left his lips.

- "Thanks... now go to sleep."

- "Yeah, I will."

- "I love you"- he said, knowing those words might upset her, but he wasn't able to keep them in his chest any longer- "And I swear I'm gonna do whatever it takes to show you how sorry I am for fucking things up."

- "Bye, Matthew. Take care and say hello to your mom from me"- Joey ignored his last words and watched him for a few more seconds.

- "Talk to you later"- he murmured, fighting the tears that kept coming to his eyes

- "Bye"- Joey hung up and shut down the computer. In less than a second, she started crying, her heartbreaking and beating filled with love at the same time. Seeing him, hearing him. It was all too much.

- "How can I stop fucking loving you?! How on earth can you stop loving someone?!"

And as odd as it might be, Gerard was asking himself the very same question a few rooms away from her.

::: Denmark, March 15th, 2011 :::

Ray's arm felt numb underneath Joey's neck. But he didn't want to move it and wake her up. They were at the back of the bus, probably an hour away from Copenhagen. The girl had slept most of the trip after puking breakfast. The two of them had spent the whole journey there, with Mikey, mostly sleeping. They were all exhausted.

- "Hey guys!"- until Frank walked in and woke Mikey and Joey up- "Sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping"- he stood at the door with a sorry glance- "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to do the setlist now, 'cos we have been playing the same one for the last three shows, and it would be nice to make a few changes"- Ray nodded as Joey sat down, yawning.

- "Are we there yet?"

- "Not yet, Bug"- Ray smiled and moved his arm, feeling numbness and tingling- "Do you feel ok?"

- "Yeah, I'm hungry."

- "Here"- Mikey quickly grabbed a bag and gave her a cereal bar- "I got you healthy snacks when we stopped a while ago"- and he smiled, showing her a paper bag- "We've got everything you need to keep my nephew growing healthy."

- "Thanks"- she whispered, feeling awkward still just talking about her pregnancy like a common thing. She still didn't (or couldn't) believe she was pregnant.

- "So, setlist"- Frank sat next to his friends and started writing. They were halfway there when Iero turned to Joey and smiled- "Bug, pick a song"- and she frowned.

- "Why?"

- "We've been shitty friends. We never ask you what you wanna play."

- "That's 'cos I... you know, that's not my job, you are the band, you choose your songs."

- "And I choose you, like a Pokemon"- Frank grinned- "What would you like to play?"- Joey scratched her eyes and yawned again.

- "Vampires."

- "Done!"- and Frank wrote it down- "What else?"- the girl thought about it for a second

- "House of Wolves"- Ray smiled.

- "Loving your choices."

- "Thank you"- Joey finished her cereal bar and smiled- "Thank you, Mikey."

- "You are welcome, Bug"- a hum on the girl's phone caught her attention. It was a text from Matthew.

- "Hope you are having a nice trip"- and her heart raced, her cheek blushed, and her friends frowned.

- "Are you two in better terms?"- Ray asked, knowing neither Mikey nor Frank was going to ask without insulting Matthew.

- "Let's say I'm wrapping my mind around the fact I have to tell him he will be a father. I talked to him about his health, and that was it... nothing about us."

- "But he is texting you"- Mikey pointed out the obvious.

- "Yeah... but we are not back together. And I don't want to forgive him, so I'm ok"- the all nodded- "I just know I'm gonna have to deal with the whole baby thing with him, and I don't know if I wanna be mad at him the whole time"- they all nodded again- "I don't know what I'm doing"- she whispered.

- "If you want, we can say it's my baby"- Frank said with an honest smile- "I give them my last name. Matthew won't have a reason to be close to you, and everything will be awesome"- Joey chuckled at the idea.

- "You are so funny, Iero."

- "I wasn't joking. I can convince Jamia to go through the whole thing."

- "Shut up!"- Joey punched softly Frank's arm and smiled.

- "She wants to talk to you, by the way. Jamia"- the guitarist said and kept writing down in his notebook, avoiding making eye contact with the girl, just in case she would get upset.

- "That's cool."

- "I mean about your baby, in case you need any help... if you want to ask her things... she is there"- Frank finally looked at Joey and bit his lips- "I'm sorry I told her about that"- he made a pause, and Joey shook her head.

- "It's ok. I love Jamia... and I'm sure I'm gonna text her with a million questions in the next nine months, so... thanks"- the girl smiled and messed with Frank's hair. The four of them stayed quiet. Mikey was stuck at his book, Frank looked at the setlist and Ray at their schedule for the day.

- "Where's Gerard?"- Toro asked and looked around. Joey turned to the window, Mikey's eyes stuck at her. He was dying to talk to her about what had happened with his brother. He wanted to know her side of the story.

- "He is at his bunk"- Frank simply replied- "He has been there since we got into the bus."

- "Good, stay away from her,"- Mikey thought and went back to his book. Maybe his brother was doing the right thing for once.

It was three in the morning, and Matthew woke up for the hundredth time that night. It was hard to sleep at the hospital. There were many noises all night long, and nurses that came to put an eye on him. Just two more days, and he could go home. That idea made him happy. Six more days and Joey was going to be back in Los Angeles. The hum of his phone took him from his thoughts, and a smile lodged on his lips immediately.

- "Already in Denmark"- Joey had answered his earlier message.

- "How was the trip?"- he quickly typed and waited, staring at the screen. Joey looked at her phone and held her breath. She was lying on her bed, knowing she wasn't going to get any sleep. The tv was on, the sound in the background of her room made her feel a little less alone.

- "I slept most of the way"- she simply replied and closed her eyes. She felt like a schoolgirl talking with her crush. Decided to avoid her phone, the girl surfed channels for a while. But an incoming text took her complete attention. She wanted to read it so badly, but she didn't want to want to read it. If that made any sense at all.

- "I'm jealous. I can't sleep in this hospital,"- Matthew wrote and sighed. He looked around his room and his eyes laid on the stuffed animals still on the couch by his bed. The ones he had made for her. He just hoped she would like them.

- "Hospitals sucks,"- Matthew chuckled. He could almost listen to her voice saying that as he read it.

- "Food is the worst. I've been living on Paget's candies,"- but that message, Joey didn't reply. He waited for at least ten minutes, but no answer appeared on the screen. He closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't want to push things too fast, but at the same time, he couldn't help it, he needed to talk to her for hours, like before.

Joey was curled in bed, surfing channels, her phone hidden underneath a pillow. She knew talking to Gubler was a bad idea 'cos she loved him. So instead, she hid her phone from her and glued her eyes to the screen. Bad luck for her, "The Aquatic Life with Steve Zissou" was on. It was like life wasn't helping her at all. Matthew was everywhere. Including the movie she watched.

- "I should go get something to eat,"- she typed, giving up at the temptation. Gubler opened his eyes. It took the girl over half an hour to reply.

- "With the guys?"- he wrote quickly

- "No, I'm alone today, they are doing their band shit"- she sat on the bed and put on her shoes- "Talk to you later"- and finished the conversation.

- "Take care,"- Matthew answered quickly. He smiled and closed his eyes, sighing- "Baby steps, Gubler. Baby steps."

- "What the fuck are you doing, asshole?!"- Joey slapped herself mentally- "Stop giving him hopes. You are not getting back together."

Mikey wasn't himself that day. He wasn't mentally there at any of the interviews. His brother was in love with Joey. The thought of Gerard trying to kiss her was hunting him. It was sick. And when she was drunk, when she was sad. He even felt guilty for leaving her with him. Like he was responsible for his mistake.

- "And why the fuck didn't she tell me?! This is huge?! Doesn't she trust me? Isn't this important? I thought we were brother and sister! This is something you share with your brother!"

- "Mikey?"- Frank moved his hand in front of the bassist's face and frowned- "Are you here?"

- "Sorry, I spaced out... what is it?"

- "The interview is over; we can go"- Mikey looked around. He was the only one still sitting at the radio studio.

- "Right."

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah."

- "You are quiet."

- "I don't usually talk a lot in interviews."

- "Touché"- Iero chuckled and tapped on his friend's back- "Tired?"

- "Weary"

- "Just a few more days, hang in there"- Mikey nodded and walked with his friend. Gerard looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He didn't reply, not even with a gesture. Mikey just continued walking. He knew what he had to do. He just found it weird.

- "Hey"- he whispered, making sure his brother wasn't going to overhear his conversation and held his cellphone close- "Are you feeling good?"

- "Yeah"- Joey rolled in bed and sighed- "I already had lunch half hour ago, and it's still in my stomach, so I guess I'm awesome"- Mikey smiled.

- "Were you sleeping?"

- "No, just rolling in bed and coloring mandalas from time to time, watching tv."

- "We are going to the hotel now."

- "Great! Are you gonna nap?"

- "I wanted to hang out with you."

- "Great! Bring candies."

- "I'll bring healthy snacks for my nephew"- Joey sighed at those words. She wasn't ready to start talking about her baby.

- "A tiny little Snicker, for Christ Sakes. For your niece."

- "I'll think about it."

Joey watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, trying to wrap her head around the fact she was going to have a baby. Sure, she always thought about it, but not at twenty-six. Yes, she wanted to have a baby with Matthew, but not under those circumstances.

- "I guess I'll have to make the best of it"- she sighed, rubbing her belly sweetly- "You are gonna have Halloween every day, I swear"- Joey whispered- "I'm gonna make sure you've got everything I never had. Your dad is gonna go nuts when we tell him... I still don't know what kind of nuts, but I guess we'll have to figure it out."

She made a pause, thinking about Matthew telling her he wanted to fill their house with babies. Maybe he was going to be excited after all. Maybe.

- "Your uncle Mikey is gonna spoil you, that I am sure about"- the knock on the door took Joey from her conversation with her belly. Mikey stood at the other side, smiling and holding a fun size Snicker bag.

- "I'm going to give you one every day. That's gonna be your only candy, ok?"

- "Thank you!!"- Joey walked in, jumping in excitement, making her friend chuckle. He was slightly mad at her, but still, he couldn't be mean to her- "How was work?"

- "Boring, I think I fell asleep during most of the interviews"- the girl chuckled and sat indian style on her bed- "I can see you are watching kids movies already"- the bassist raised an eyebrow staring at the screen.

- "I happen to love this movie... I'm a Halloween kind of girl."

- "Yeah, I know"- Mikey stood in front of Joey, chewing a Snicker.

- "Aren't you going to sit down and watch this masterpiece with me?"

- "I need to talk to you about something first."

- "Shoot"- but Way didn't know how to start that conversation. He thought about it the whole morning, but he still had no clue. So instead, he mumbled some unintelligible words- "What is it?"

- "I just..."

- "Is it because I've been wearing a lot of your hoodies? I'm sorry, the ones I brought are Matthew's, and I don't feel like wearing his clothes."

- "No Bug, it's not that."

- "'Cos I'm wearing Frank's too... which is pretty weird 'cos he is my size..."

- "No, Joey. It's not about that."

- "Then why are you so serious?"

- "'Cos you never told me you kissed my brother"- and Joey's face fell.

- "Did he tell you?"

- "Clearly... what the fuck?"

- "I don't know!!"

- "Why didn't you tell me?!"

- "'Cos if I never told anyone, I could pretend it never happened! And I wish that never happened!"

- "What the fuck was that about?!"

- "I don't know, I felt like the shit, he kissed me, I didn't stop him right away..."

- "Do you like him?"

- "No!"

- "Do you love him?"- Mikey was serious about his questions- "'Cos he is sure he loves you."

- "I don't love him, Mikey. We both know there is only one shitty person I love"- Joey laid back on the bed and covered her face with her hands.

- "Do you think I'm proud? I should have never done that! and I definitely shouldn't have let him get to the point he got"- Mikey frowned.

- "What?"

- "So he didn't tell you he wanted to fuck?"- the girl simply replied- "When I was drunk... we kissed, at a certain point we made out, but I wasn't very conscious of what he was doing... I just... in my intoxication... I thought he was Matthew."

- "What the fuck?"- Way wide opened his eyes and turned to his friend in shock.

- "Yeah, it was sick..."- she whispered, embarrassed.

- "Joey, that's abuse!"

- "What? no!"- the girl gasped.

- "Joey, my brother tried to abuse you"- Mikey yelled- "You were drunk!"

- "Yeah, but..."

- "You were nearly unconscious, and he tried to make out with you?"

- "No! No! I mean, a part of me knew what I was doing. I just... didn't know who I was doing it with."

Honestly, that didn't sound like an excellent explanation of the facts. Joey was in denial of how bad things had gotten with Gerard.

- "Bug, that's not right! He knew exactly what he was doing, and he shouldn't have done that to you if you were drunk!"- Mikey's words resonated in Joey's head.

- "He didn't try to rape me. I mean, he stopped when I realized he wasn't Matthew... and honestly, I'm not trying to defend him, but I was pretty disgusted by my actions right away!"

Joey stood up and looked at her friend right in the eyes. At that moment, she decided the best she could do was take the pushy scene from the story, when Gerard didn't want to let her go. It was better to forget that moment and pretended it never really happened.

- "The first time he kissed me, I thought making out with your brother was the perfect revenge against Matthew, mostly 'cos he was always saying Gerard had a thing for me"- the girl sighed and pouted at her friend- "Who was ever going to think he was right?"- Mikey wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of your head- "I just didn't know that one kiss made him think we could do it again when I was drunk."

- "Please don't do stupid shit like this again"- she nodded

- "Your shirt stinks"- she joked, making her best to stop the serious conversation 'cos she couldn't stand arguing with Mikey, and less talking about that subject.

- "Sorry, I ran out of clean clothing 'cos I've got a friend who keeps wearing everything I own"- he chuckled, and Joey smiled, letting him go slowly to go back to the bag of candies- "I said just one a day."

- "Can I get an extra one today? Please?"

- "No, you are grounded, 'cos you did something incredibly stupid"- they stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, until Mikey smiled- "Fine, but only today"- she girl smiled and landed a kiss on Mikey's cheek.

- "Thank you. Besides, Ray is the only one who can ground me around here."

- "Right"- Joey chewed her Snicker and laid back in bed, tapping the spot next to her- "There's still one more thing."

- "Oh shit! I don't want to have more serious conversations. We've had enough of those already."

- "He claims to love you"- Mikey just said, and Joey closed her eyes, wincing.

- "I know! And I find it as stupid as false! We've barely talked this whole time! He has no idea who I am, what I like, or anything! He is just talking with his cock!"

- "And what are you gonna do about it?"

- "Stay as far from him as possible"- Mikey laid next to Joey and held her hand- "Do you think the others suspect anything?"

- "Frank, for sure. He has been arguing about it for days now."

- "Shit!"

- "But hey, hey, don't worry"- Mikey tapped on Joey's hand- "It's gonna be ok."

- "Bróðir"- the girl made a pause and never unglued her eyes from the screen- "I'm gonna have to leave."

- "No!"- his voice sounded serious and certain- "You don't have to!"

- "I'm nothing but trouble! This tour is more a soap opera than a job at this point! Breaking up with Matthew and having all of you taking care of me, now I'm pregnant, your brother claims to love me." Joey turned to Mikey and cut him a shy smile. - "Face it, if you had hired a male drummer, you would have had a quiet tour. Nothing to worry about, not all this fucking drama to deal with."

- "If we had hired anyone else, I would have had a miserable tour"- Mikey simply replied and messed with Joey's hair as the two of them returned to watch the movie- "So stop saying nonsenses."

- "I'm so sorry..."

- "Knock it off"

- "And I don't want you to be mad at your brother."

- "I'm not mad"- Joey raised an eyebrow and looked at Mikey- "Fine, I hate him right now, 'cos he has been acting like a fucking crazy jerk, and honestly, he nearly abused you, Joey!"

- "Don't hate him... let's pretend none of that weird shit ever happened, which is what I'm planning to do."

- "Fine"

- "And don't get all weird."

- "Fine"- Mikey sounded a little annoyed.

- "And don't make a fuzz if I stay away from him."

- "I'll support you, I'll even stay away from him myself."

- "Don't. He is fucked up. Maybe if he opened up with you, it's because he needs company or someone to help him overcome this... madness."

Mikey turned to Joey again and sighed. He disagreed with her, and he was planning to stay away from his brother and keep him away from Joey as well.

- "And how was your talk with Matthew?"- Joey's heart raced just by hearing his name- "The red cheeks are giving you away."

- "It was... ok, I guess."

- "And now you are texting"- she sighed and huffed.

- "I'm gonna have a baby with him, Mikey. It's hard."

- "And you love him."

- "Not the point... and that's all I'm saying about that subject."

- "Ok"- Mikey wrapped an arm around Joey's neck, and she rested her head on him- "Let's watch the movie before we have to leave for the arena."

Mikey wasn't mad at Joey. He was scared she might consider leaving the band. He loved having her there. She was honestly his anxiety shield, and he couldn't deal with that tour without her. Not at the moment. He was alone. He felt alone, and she was the one with him always. Ray had Christa, Frank had Jamia, Gerard had Lynz (and it was now obvious: he also had a stalking problem).

Mikey had Joey. At least when they were on the road. Hiding in their friendship and brotherhood was the only way he could handle loneliness. Or to avoid it.

**

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[ao3theskyisblue]

From the outside

Summary:

“You look like you could use a coffee.”

Kegan turned towards Officer Reyes, who was looking at him bemusedly, one arm leaning on the driver-side door and the other on the steering wheel, his fingers drumming on it rhythmically. He could also see the hint of concern in his gaze, no doubt seeing through his façade but also kindly didn’t ask questions Kegan wasn’t sure how to answer.

"Woke up late today."

Written for @911lonestarangstweek Day 2: Physical whump + “Does it hurt badly?” 

Just a heads up it’s OC-centric (outsider’s POV) 

Read on AO3

When Kegan woke up to complete silence, the light brighter than it should have been at 7am in the morning peeking in through the gap between his curtains, he should have known it was going to be a terrible day. There were no birds chirping, no neighbours yelling about broken lawn gnomes, nothing.

The quiet was always a cue for sudden disaster.

Fumbling for his phone on the bedside table, he lifted the screen only to fall off the bed with a loud thud and a string of curses at three realizations.

One: his snooze was a lie.

Two: he was going to be late on the last day of his trial week.

Three: he forgot to iron his uniform yesterday.

“Fuck me in the ear with a corn.” Kegan groaned, giving up on saving his duvet and instead shoving it in the general direction of the bed before sprinting to the bathroom. He shoved his toothbrush into his mouth, squeezing toothpaste on at the last second and hoping the brushes hopefully scraped across a few of his teeth.

He dampened his skin underneath a stream of cold water, but it wasn’t hardly enough for a towel to wipe off as he shimmied into his work clothes, slipping on his duty belt last. Grabbing a comb on his way out of the bathroom, he jumped the entirety of the stairs, miraculously without breaking a knee, and slid into the kitchen.

With his comb stuck in his curls.

His mother visibly startled, spinning around to look at him with eyes widened in shock, almost dropping the bowl of strawberries in her hand. Kegan snatched a few, ignoring his mother’s disapproving look before shoving them down his throat.  

“Shove them any harder and you’ll choke.” His mother says drily, placing the bowl onto the counter and Kegan works to swallow the three he managed to stuff in his mouth. He can feel the lumps slowly moving down his esophagus, the slight pain of the movement a nice distraction as he thought of all the excuses he could for why he would be showing up late today to the precinct.

Unfortunately, he knew who he would be shadowing today and lying to this man in particular twisted more guilt in his stomach than anyone else in the police department.

“Not the worst thing I’ve choked on.” Kegan shrugged, smiling at his mother innocently when she scrunched up her nose.

“Sorry I didn’t wake you, I thought you’d already left.” Kegan stilled at that, the smile on his face now a mere gesture of courtesy rather than truth as he looked away.

They both knew why she didn’t bother waking him up. He didn’t need to be studying to become a police officer to hear the blatant lie through his mother’s voice, and that phone call he happened to overhear a few days ago suddenly rang loudly in his ears.

Kegan didn’t bother with a response, instead heading out of the kitchen and towards the entranceway, grabbing his keys from the bowl by the door. He didn’t look up to know his mother was watching him, eyes piercing him like a hawk as he stood in uniform.

“I don’t know why you’re trying so hard to prove a point.”

The words came out quiet, as if just an absent thought that was accidentally said out loud, but Kegan looked up this time, eyes blazing with a ferocity that had his mother stepping back in response.

“I’m not doing this to prove anybody a point,” Kegan says lowly, anger prickling along his spine and making the hairs on his arms stand on end. “I’m doing it for me. You don’t need to understand, or support me. But say it to my face next time instead of behind my back. Stabbing me would hurt less.”

Kegan didn’t wait for his mother’s reaction before pulling the front door open roughly and slamming it shut behind him. The bright sun seemed to be taunting him with its brilliant presence, as if shining any brighter would overcloud the dark shadow that seemed to never stop looming over him ever since they packed their bags and left Venice.

It was going to be a terrible day.

 .

Two hours into his shift, and Kegan already wanted to drown himself in his bathtub while holding onto a plugged-in toaster.

Two fender benders that involved idiots and their screaming that probably left permanent scarring to his eardrums. A woman who thought her neighbours had gotten into a fight with all the banging on the walls until they arrived and saw things that almost made him grab the nearest bottle of sanitizer and scrub his eyes clean. Then there was the elderly man who thought someone was trying to break into his house only to find a woodpecker innocently drilling a hole on the side of his doorframe.

It couldn’t get any worse, could it?  

“You look like you could use a coffee.”

Kegan turned towards Officer Reyes, who was looking at him bemusedly, one arm leaning on the driver-side door and the other on the steering wheel, his fingers drumming on it rhythmically. He could also see the hint of concern in his gaze, no doubt seeing through his façade but also kindly didn’t ask questions Kegan wasn’t sure how to answer.

“Woke up late today. Didn’t have time to grab anything before we were called in.” Kegan sighed, not bothering with keeping his guard up. He’s shadowed Officer Reyes a few times during the trial week, and he was one of the few officers in Austin PD that he actually liked. One thing he’s learned from the first time he shadowed him was that the man had no time for bullshit. Emotions, including ones that told him to just punch straight through walls were valid as long as he talked about it.

Open communication and all that.

They were doing a routine patrol, eyes peeled and other senses alert for any calls that could come through the radio. So far, the calls had been mostly in other districts that already had their own patrols answering, and the next light was the indication they successfully drove one full loop. So, when Officer Reyes suddenly turned right when they were supposed to go straight, Kegan frowned.

“Uh, were we supposed to make that turn just now?” Kegan peered back, not like that could have done anything to change the direction they were driving but Officer Reyes just shook his head.

“There’s a café nearby.” At his skeptical look, the officer rolled his eyes. “The city will be fine if we take a five-minute break.” Officer Reyes says, making Kegan raise an eyebrow. Of the limited time they’ve spent time together, he never pegged him to be a complete rule-sticker, but this unexpected gesture still caught him off guard.

They stopped next to a fairly busy café, the store sign making him snort in disbelief as he got out of the cruiser, shutting the door behind him.

“Definitely not ominous.” Kegan says wryly, looking up at the vibrant ‘The Hideout Café – Seek Out Your Poison!’ sign above his head. There was a quiet chuckle beside him, and he turned to see Officer Reyes sporting a wide smile, amusement dancing across his features. He looked around the area and frowned when he saw a red minivan travelling suspiciously towards them.

“Hey, isn’t that car driving too fast?” Kegan moved to get a better look, frowning when the vehicle not only didn’t slow down, but instead seemed to be deliberately heading towards them.

He turned towards Reyes, about to ask what they should do in this situation but frowned when his eyes widened in horror.

His hand was already on his radio, but nothing could have prepared him for a shout, a hard shove, and the equivalence of his soul being knocked out of him.

And just like the day the cops showed up to his doorstep with bulletproof vests and guns raised in search of his father, his world stopped.

.

The individual granules of sand in an hourglass.

He remembered staring at them when he was younger, fascinated as the particles slowly trickled down with time. It was hypnotizing, but he would glance up occasionally to gaze at the clock hanging above the piano, watching the minuscule tilt of the hour-hand each time the minute-hand made its rotation.

It was a weird sensation, the brief moment where your life flashes by in old film. But just as quick as they came, they’re abruptly cut off as if given to him at the wrong time.

There were thoughts sluggishly trying to make sense in his mind, and Kegan wondered if memories could transcend the living and stay with the dead.

He winced against the sun’s rays, the crick in his back making itself known before he was assaulted by a cacophony of sound.

“-okay? Someone call 911!”

“They literally are 911-”

“I don’t think the other officer’s breathing.”

Kegan sat up abruptly at that, testing his fingers and toes and letting out a breath of relief when he felt them both. He couldn’t help but notice the red minivan speeding off, his training kicking in and automatically memorizing the license plate before it disappeared in the crowd.

“Are you alright, officer?”

Kegan turned his head towards the voice, seeing a barista leaning over him slightly, eyes wide with shock and concern. He opened his mouth to reply, before the entirety of his memories kicked back in.

Where was Officer Reyes?

Kegan scrambled up, staggering and clutching onto the barista’s shoulder when he reached out to steady him. His eyes darted around the crowded street, ignoring the phones and insistent chatter and focused on something a little way away from him.

No.

Stumbling forward, he forced his legs to move towards the man sprawled down on the sidewalk, one hand leaning down to feel for a pulse and the other reaching for his radio.

“This is 363-H-20. I need medics at Congress and 7th, officer down! Send out an APB for a red minivan with Texas licence plates Alpha-Charlie-Foxtrot-3875.” Kegan didn’t know how he hadn’t stuttered when his heart was currently beating outside of his chest, barely clinging onto the last moments of clarity.  He barely heard the affirmative through dispatch for both his requests, before leaning down to see if the man laying so still beneath him was still breathing.

He was, and his pulse was steady, but he wasn’t awake.

“Officer Reyes? Can you hear me?” Kegan pinched his earlobe, his instincts and training working on autopilot, and slapped the ground beside Officer Reyes’ ears a few times.

The man didn’t so much as stir.

Kegan made sure to consistently check his pulse and breathing, prodding his body gently for any injuries he might have missed, eyes flitting up every few seconds to watch for eye movement. He didn’t move the man, the paramedics would be the judge of that, and he couldn’t see anything else other than a nasty bruise starting to form just above his lower back.

“How is he?”

Kegan barely spared the barista, who was still crouching beside him for some reason, a look as he shook his head.

“I don’t-”

“Rossi?”

Kegan’s whirled his head, letting out a choked sound of relief when he saw Officer Reyes blinking blearily at him, looking beyond confused. There was a 7-second delay before he seemed to remember what had happened, and Kegan didn’t hesitate to hold him still when he tried to get up.

“Are you okay? Did you get hit?” Officer Reyes asked, and Kegan let out a sound of disbelief, hearing the barista beside him scoff incredulously. That sound almost validated everything he was thinking at the moment, and absently noted to buy the barista a drink for their service.

“Officer Reyes, was it? You were just thrown in the air like a sack of potatoes when that idiot driver decided the sidewalk would be the perfect place to take his new wheels for a spin,” The barista said, and Kegan glanced at the name card that read ‘Lawrence.’ Kegan startled when Lawrence turned towards him, a kind but worried smile still present on his lips. “If you hadn’t pushed this one out of the way and yelled that warning, things could have gone a lot worse.”

Kegan bit back a sharp retort on how it was already a worse case scenario because someone got hurt, but his mother had always told him to bite his tongue when emotions were running on fumes, and he knew nothing would come from yelling at a barista for something out of his control.

“Well, at least I can skip the paperwork.” Kegan narrowed his eyes, sending the other officer a dirty look.

“Oh, you’re doing all the paperwork. I’m even giving you mine, seeing as you just stripped at least five years off my lifespan.” Kegan glowered, and Reyes had the sheer audacity to laugh weakly. “Can you wiggle your toes?” He sighed in relief when he saw the slight movement, though still kept the officer as still as possible for the paramedics to confirm.

The sound of distant sirens grew closer, and Kegan immediately spun around from the noise when he heard the officer groan.

“What? What’s wrong? Where’s the pain?” Kegan asked, ready to dive in at a moment’s notice but Reyes was focused on something past him.

“I’m about the get the lecture of a lifetime. From all three of them.” The man muttered, and Kegan looked back to see the ambulance parked by the sidewalk, three figures hopping out. One of the female paramedics tossed something to the male, who caught it without even looking at her. They were making their way towards them, and Kegan frowned when the male paramedic suddenly froze, eyes widening at their figures on the ground. He could have sworn he didn’t blink, but one second the paramedic was by the ambulance, the next he was crouching down next to Officer Reyes, stethoscope ready and already checking ABCs.

“This isn’t your usual area.” Officer Reyes says in lieu of a greeting, and Kegan unconsciously stepped back to give them some space to work and to avoid the dark aura encircling the male paramedic who looked up, unimpressed.

“I could say the same for you.” There were some medical words exchanged then, and Kegan heard what he guessed to be the Captain spell out a series of tests they’ll do at the hospital. He couldn’t help but feel another wave of anxiety when the C collar got strapped on – that’s usually a bad thing, right? The male paramedic barely spared him a glance before shining a flashlight in Officer Reyes’ eyes.

“Name.”

“Really?”

“Answer the question.”

“Carlos Reyes.”

He stood to the side, watching as the Captain cautiously lifted Reyes’ uniform and frown at the bruising, prodding it skillfully and gauging the officer’s reaction. He could see the male paramedic flinch as if just the sight of the injury caused him insurmountable pain.

“D-does it, um, does it hurt badly?”

Four pairs of eyes turned to look at him, and Kegan really wished he had heeded his mother’s advice to just keep on sticking his foot in his mouth.

“No,” the male paramedic started sarcastically, a TK Strand that Kegan could make out now stitched on his uniform, “He’s just fine and dandy being run over by a four thousand pound moving brick. He can finally check it off his to-do list for the day.” TK scowled, his movements more aggressive than usual when swinging the stethoscope around his neck again, but Kegan could still see how the anger seemed to fade when he worked with the others to prod the officer for other injuries.

He heard a few snickers from the other two female paramedics that were quickly covered by badly hidden coughs, and really wished Mother Nature would offer him a hole to climb into.

Officer Reyes, who was still a little out of it but thankfully very much alive seemed to be on the verge of laughter himself. “TK, stop scaring him. I’m fine.”

Kegan winced, feeling the change in atmosphere before TK’s eyes even narrowed, and if he wasn’t quite frozen in place he would definitely have stumbled a few steps back from avoiding the icy chill that filled the air around them.

“You and I must have very different definitions of ‘fine.’” TK muttered. Kegan felt chills running down his spine at the deadly glint when those eyes passed over him for a millisecond.

It suddenly sent him back to when he was five years old, when he had brought a stray puppy home and learned how to fear a human being for the first time. His father had looked at the puppy like it was the worst thing created by mother nature, before taking it away and he never saw the little golden retriever again.

Now he knew why.

But he also attributed green eyes to his grandmother, who was an entire ball of warmth.

Who knew green eyes that had always felt so comforting whenever his grandmother smothered him with hugs and kisses when he was younger could feel like daggers that could skewer you alive on another person?

“I’m sorry we never got your coffee.” Kegan looked down at Officer Reyes, who was looking up at him apologetically, and Kegan didn’t know whether he should cry or punch something at how unreasonably nice he was being. They weren’t close, but Kegan respected him immensely, and he could tell from the way TK’s shoulders hadn’t relaxed from their tense position that he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

“I’ve already received the wake-up call of the century. Coffee’s on me next time.” Kegan says lightly, before his eyes widened in horror as TK turned his stormy gaze on him. “Not that I want you to get hit by another car! I’ll gladly take the coffee over any car. And I’ll stop talking. Like right now.”

Yeah, he really needed that bath with the toaster. Maybe he’ll even add in his mother’s hair straightener just to seal the deal.

“Why don’t you sit down?” The Captain, Vega, says kindly, eyes shining with exasperated amusement as she shoots TK a look, and Kegan looks at her, puzzled.

“Why?”

“We need to check you over, too.” The other female paramedic, Gillian, says. She’s looking at him kindly, but doesn’t leave TK’s side as they make sure Carlos is stable for transport.

“But I’m fine? He’s the one who lost consciousness for a few minutes.” Kegan frowns in confusion, and sees TK whirl his head back towards the officer, looking like he wanted to throttle the man.

“And you didn’t think that was vital information?”

“It wasn’t that long!”

“Any length of time being unwillingly unconscious is important, Carlos.”

There was a moment of unspoken words between them and an exchanged look with Captain Vega before Gillian started checking for head injuries. There weren’t any visual signs of trauma, but Kegan has seen enough medical dramas to always expect the impossible.

“And to add on to earlier, no one who gets manhandled by this guy ever ends up fine. The shock may be hiding injuries you can’t feel right now.” TK looked up at him, but not before giving Officer Reyes another glare when he makes a noise in protest.

“I’m not that bad!”

“Tell that to your kitchen counter. And the bedroom wall.” The smallest of smiles lights up TK’s face, and Kegan watches in awe as Officer Reyes grins unabashedly at that.

He didn’t even know the man had any other expressions other than polite smiles and stoic everythings.

“You were on scene for all of them, care to share the grievance?” The soft look they exchanged made something in Kegan’s brain click in place, and he felt himself smiling despite current events.

In the end, they had been lucky. Had Officer Reyes not pushed him away when he did, the accident would have ended up with a black bag and cops knocking on his mother’s doorstep, when the last thing he said to her wasn’t ‘I love you.’ He would be walking away with minor aches, and Officer Reyes-

Had closed his eyes.

He wasn’t the only one that noticed, judging by how TK’s face drained in colour, eyes wide as he tried to get Officer Reyes to open his eyes.

“Carlos? Hey, stay awake – Carlos?! Cap!!” TK immediately reached his fingers to check Carlos’ pulse, and Kegan watched with bated breath as medical jargon sprout out from all three of them, with Captain Vega swearing under her breath when Gillian mentioned something about chest movement.

“We need to get him to a hospital, now.” The other two paramedics immediately lifted Officer Reyes on the stretcher, running towards the ambulance and Kegan could only watch, horrified when TK yelled that they had lost a pulse.

He had been conscious earlier.

He had been talking.

And now he could be –

“Go.”

Kegan startled, turning his head to see Lawrence gently guiding him towards the ambulance.

“I’ll keep an eye on your police car. You’re in no state to drive, and I think you’ll feel better if you go with them.” Lawrence urged, and Kegan didn’t know what else to say but a quick ‘thank you,’ receiving a shoulder squeeze in response before jumping into the back of the ambulance, the paramedics not even batting an eye as they sped off.

They must have gotten Officer Reyes’ pulse back in the time between his hesitancy and the nudge from Lawrence, so Kegan tried his best to focus on the weak but steady rhythm of the heart monitor as TK and Captain Vega worked to make sure his heart kept on beating.

He’s never had a problem being a shadow on the sidelines, and ever since his father’s arrest he’s been walking on eggshells around everything and everyone. Which is why he sat, stock still, and didn’t say a word as Captain Vega quietly murmured how Carlos was stable for now, the words doing nothing to rid the fear still present in TK’s eyes.

He hadn’t taken his eyes off the officer laying on the stretcher before them, and Kegan wasn’t sure he had even blinked. Their hands were tightly linked together, and there was a wet shine in his eyes.

“Come back to me.” He heard him whisper, and his own heart bled with guilt and despair as TK bowed his head, seeing his frame shaking as he clung onto a hand that just wouldn’t squeeze back.  

He should have been the one on the stretcher.

Why didn’t they take him instead?

It wasn’t fair.

.

“I’m sorry.”

The hospital waiting area was mostly empty, and he hadn’t allowed himself a moment to breathe until he heard the doctors give TK and the rest of the 126 who had all arrived one by one to make one big family the all clear. That had been minutes? hours? ago, and Kegan still couldn’t get past the roaring in his ears, the tightness of his chest as they all waited for the officer to wake up.

He was staying overnight for observation, and he faintly remembered being checked over himself in the blurred haze of everything. He couldn’t for the life of him remember who did it, or what questions he was asked, just that he would be walking away with minor bruising and some superficial scratches.

Officer Reyes on the other hand…

He had heard through the grapevine that they had caught the guy, and it was a brief moment of satisfaction that didn’t do much other than give him the relief that he was behind bars instead of behind another wheel of a car.

He looked up for the first time since entering those hospital doors. TK was staring at him with an unreadable expression in his gaze before Kegan could make out the small upward twitch of his lips.

“You’ve done nothing to apologize for,” TK says quietly, wincing a little. “In fact, I’m the one that’s sorry for my attitude back at the scene. I was a little – I was worried.” TK lifted a hand to run through his hair, before giving him a more genuine smile.

Ah, he was starting to see why Officer Reyes always seemed to melt underneath that gaze. The paramedic’s eyes were a couple degrees warmer than they had been earlier, the irises reflecting pools of green in the bright ceiling lights.

“He’s a good cop, and an even better person. He did what he thought was right, and it wasn’t your fault. You were just doing your job. And you were the reason they caught the guy, they found him not long after trying to cross state lines.” Kegan swallowed down the lump in his throat at that, the subtle acknowledgement warming him up inside.

Moving half-way across the globe to escape the scars his father left on their family was one thing, enrolling into the police academy and painstakingly working his ass off to show that he belonged was another. Ever since the arrest, being the son of a notorious serial killer had become his identity. Suddenly, his childhood dreams of becoming an officer of the law meant nothing – all washed down the drain by his father’s blood-soaked hands.

He would never understand why he deserved to live when the people his father killed did not. Years of pondering potential what if’s and self-loathing slowly ate him up inside, and he knew his mother only wanted what was best for him. He didn’t enroll in the police academy to prove anyone a point, to show that their family still had some sort of light worth saving but because he wanted to help. Because he wanted to be better, and he wanted to work for it.

But that didn’t mean the world wasn’t cruel in other ways.

Being labeled as the ‘grim-reaper’ certainly was one, where people assumed that anyone who came into contact with him were automatically doomed to die. It didn’t help that his own father had used it to his advantage, and it was something he would probably never forgive himself for.

And today was just shot to hell with the almost-death of his superior driving him over the edge. He had almost been indirectly responsible for another death of a good man, so when the doctors had given them good news, Kegan almost sobbed in relief. He’s been on the receiving end of looks of anguish, of dismay, of anger and frustration.

Seeing someone look at him with hope and reassurance was new, and hearing words that weren’t laced with malice and false approval made the heavy load of the day lighten a little.

It hadn’t been a good day. And tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed for anyone.

But as Kegan accepted the gentle pat on the shoulder and a friendly smile, he knew that through the dark times, he will find the light.

He wasn’t there yet, and he didn’t know if he would find it at all – but he would try.

And that would have to be enough.

He calls out to TK again, and watches as the man pauses in his steps, turning to look at him curiously.

“So, how long have you two been married?” He asks, a playful grin stretching across his lips, laughing when he sees the paramedic’s cheeks go through the different shades of red in a fascinating colour show. His eyes narrow, but his lips are twitching in amusement, and he waves for Kegan to follow him to Carlos’ recovery room. He’s about to protest, not wanting to intrude, but TK just rolls his eyes and grabs his arm gently to tug him along.

“So, you’re the cheeky new rookie Carlos mentioned,” TK muses, and Kegan raises an eyebrow.

“Didn’t know I was such a hot topic of conversation,” Kegan responds, not liking how TK’s grin suddenly turns wicked.

“Oh, he told me all about that time you knocked an entire crate of fresh tomatoes onto a perp who tried to escape. The street vendor wasn’t very happy, now was she?” TK winks, and Kegan feels the tables turn, his cheeks lighting on fire at the memory.

No, she certainly was not happy. Getting chased by an elderly woman who spent hours arranging her food stall while holding a broom above her head through the entire marketplace was not something he wanted to re-live. Ever.

“And, to answer your question, we’re not married,” TK continues, his smile turning a touch soft, and Kegan makes a sound of disbelief.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

He doesn’t dodge the shove he receives at that, and as they close the rest of the distance to Carlos’ room, Kegan smiles.

He could get used to Austin.

[hotchley]

and he will come back home

because these people are his family. and this place is his home. 

or, six times out of many aaron hotchner realised that other things may change us but we do indeed, start and end with our family because they are the people that love us, without any conditions, and not in spite of, but because of, our flaws.

this is literally pure fluff because someone *ahem* @whump-town *ahem* has been posting sad things which made me want to write something sweet.

nobody asked for this. literally nobody. however, it made me happy, so now everyone else has to put up with it. 

trigger warnings: references to child abuse (physical and sexual) as both hotch and morgan’s pasts are mentioned very briefly

read on ao3!

1. Jennifer

“Eat.”

Hotch looked up from his paperwork in surprise. JJ was stood in front of his desk, hands on her hips, somehow managing to intently stare both at him and the plate she’d put down in front of his name plate.

He hadn’t even heard her come in. But the door had been open, and the unspoken rule was that, unless his door was closed, nobody in the team needed to announce themselves. JJ and Dave were the only ones to actually follow that rule, everyone else knocking first. He used to think it was because he was unapproachable, but now he knew better. It was just what they preferred to do, just in case they were intruding.

Instead of taking the plate, he looked down at his watch. Time had gotten away from him, and he hadn’t eaten in about five hours, or however long it had been since him and Jack had eaten breakfast. In fact, Jack was probably the only reason he remembered. Because children copied their parents, and he couldn’t exactly tell Jack to eat his cereal if all he was doing was sipping some coffee.

In his defence, skipping lunch had not been the plan. There was just so much paperwork, and Strauss had needed to meet with him, and then there was the budget reports- and okay, maybe he had been intending to work through lunch. Sue him. He’d been feeling nauseous for days now, and he had no idea why. What he did know, was that eating made it worse. So did not eating, but still.

It was worse when he ate.

“JJ, I have all this paperwork,” he said.

“I know. Which is why you need to eat.”

He stared at her. She simply smiled and pushed the plate towards him. He actually looked at it now.

“That is-”

“A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yes. One of the few things you can stomach when you’re feeling sick.”

“How did you even?”

“I love you.” And it was the way that she said the words, so easily, without any hesitation or expectation attached that made him pick up the sandwich. He thought she would stay, at least until he’d taken the first few bites, but instead she stood, smiled and left.

He tried not to let it sting. She had a job to do as well.

But she came back, holding her own sandwich. “I know you hate eating alone. I just wasn’t about to come in here with my own lunch, or else you’d just watch me eat.”

She sat down in the chair opposite him and immediately took the pile of files that needed to be completed from him. As she bit into her sandwich, crumbs dropping onto her skirt, she started flicking through them. Hotch made a faint noise of protest. JJ just gave him the same look she gave her son when he wouldn’t go to sleep.

Aaron ate his sandwich.

“Let’s see. Morgan’s. Emily’s. Morgan again. And again. That’s Dave’s. Me and Garcia told Strauss the system crashed so technically, you don’t have the figures for that, which means I can just,” she throw that folder in the bin.

The next few minutes passed in a similar way. By the time she was done sorting, his pile was reduced to two files, both of which would be done by two. Which meant he could go pick up Jack.

“Thanks JJ,” he said. Not just for the sandwich, or for the files. For everything.

She smiled. “It’s not a problem.”

For once, he believed her.

2. Spencer

It had been a while since Hotch had done a custodial interview with Reid. After the whole Chester Hardwick incident, he tended to send Reid with Morgan. Or Prentiss. Or anyone that wasn’t him. One time, to give Anderson some more experience, the two of them had gone together.

He had no idea what had happened, but he never got the reports from either of them. And when he logged onto the database to see if they had gone to Rossi, or even Garcia for convenience, there was no evidence of the trip ever occurring. And that was when he decided that he didn’t want to know.

But that was irrelevant to their current situation. His ear was hurting. Reid had offered to drive them back because Hotch had done the drive there. Under normal circumstances, Hotch would have rather sat in a car with Morgan during the hunt for an unsub than let Reid drive. However, if anyone was going to cause an accident right now, it was him.

The ringing in his ears had only gotten worse as their prisoner had refused to talk. The lack of noise had made it the only thing he could focus on. And now, in the car, they were sat in silence. Reid was narrowing his eyes at other cars, being ever so cautious with the gas, focusing intently. And Hotch was glad that he wasn’t getting distracted, but he really needed to hear something.

He could also feel himself drifting off, Reid’s speed and the movement of the car soothing, especially given that normally it was him that needed to pay attention to the road. But every time he thought he was about to fall asleep, the piercing sound would get worse. And he would jolt, now fully awake.

Until he just didn’t.

When he woke up, he was confused. The surroundings had completely changed. And the radio was on. Some classical music he didn’t know the name of, but he had memories of dancing with Penelope at one of the FBI functions with that playing in the background. The thought made him smile.

He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and turned to face Reid. “Where are we?”

“I took a slight detour because you finally looked peaceful. Also, is the music okay? Lots of studies show that for people with hearing problems, having something soft play in the background helps them sleep. I don’t know what you think about classical music, but something called WAP, maybe? just did not seem like your thing.”

Hotch smiled. “Spencer, it’s fine. It’s perfect actually.”

Reid grinned back at him. “Good. Also when I took us on a detour, I got a bit lost so we’re now an hour away from Quantico.”

Hotch shook his head, fondly, but rested his head against the window once more, letting the soft piano and violin soothe him to sleep again, feeling completely and utterly safe.

3. Emily

“I can do it,” Emily said, poking her head through the door.

Hotch jumped in his chair, rolling his eyes when he realised it was just her, almost giving him a heart attack. Again. Probably for the thirtieth time that week. Dave, who was sat opposite him, just smirked, head resting on his cheek and Aaron silently cursed him. He must have known.

“Emily. How long have you been standing there?” he asked.

She smiled. “Long enough to know that you have a meeting with Strauss but Jack needs picking up from school because at four he’s going to the dentist. Which is why I’m saying that I can do it.”

Dave stood. “I’m going to take this as my cue to leave.”

Hotch watched as he left and Emily took his seat.

“Emily,” he said with a sigh.

“Aaron,” she responded, mocking his tone.

“It’s unfair to ask you to do that,” he said. What he meant was that he didn’t want to inconvenience her or her plans because he couldn’t get his dates straight, and that he should just cancel his meeting because fuck Strauss.

“These things happen. And Strauss will behead you if you miss this meeting. Jack and I will be fine. And besides, would you really deprive him of time with his favourite aunt?”

Damn Emily Prentiss and her ability to always know what he was thinking. “Em, I know you love Jack. And he loves you, but I still can’t ask that of you.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. And even if you say no, I’ll still turn up. I’m on the list of approved people, they won’t stop me.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

And four hours later, Jack walked through the steps of the BAU, with an unusually wide grin for somebody that had just gone to the dentist. Emily was smirking.

“You didn’t,” were the first words out of Hotch’s mouth. Jack ran towards his dad and Hotch crouched down to high-five him. He winced when he realised he now had sticky hands.

“He deserved a treat for his perfect teeth,” Emily said.

“Yeah! Auntie Emmy said that you would understand and she got you a surprise because she knew that would make you more happy,” Jack said, grinning.

Hotch looked up at Emily, who sheepishly held out a cupcake. He smiled at her. She relaxed.

Uncle Spencer was showing Jack a magic trick when he went over to her.

“You’re amazing with him,” he whispered.

She shrugged. “I just do the things that feel right.”

“That’s all any of us can do. But I do enjoy it when the two of you spend time together. It makes you smile.”

“It’s funny, because I think the same thing about you. You look happier with him.”

“You make me smile as well. You all do. I just- I never know how to say it.”

“But you don’t need to. We know you love us. It shows in everything you do. And we love you too.”

Hotch turned to watch his son laugh and smile with the rest of his aunts and uncles. They all looked so innocent. So happy. So beautiful.

“Yeah. I know that.”

4. Derek

“Is everyone else asleep?” Morgan asked as he sat opposite Hotch.

The case had been a long one, and they had only departed a half-hour ago, meaning they wouldn’t be landing till the early hours of the morning. Reid had, like with most cases, taken the couch. JJ and Emily were sharing a blanket, JJ resting her head on Emily’s shoulder and Dave was sat opposite them. Everyone’s eyes were closed. But with profilers, there were no guarantees.

“I think so. Why?”

“Because I’m about to ask you something that I don’t want everyone else hearing,” Derek said. Hotch closed the file and stared intently.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you decorated the apartment yet?”

Hotch closed his eyes. He hadn’t, but he kept meaning to. Jack’s room at the house had been completely to his taste, with superheroes plastered over every available service and stars stuck on the ceiling to help him sleep at night.

The whole house had been more homely than the apartment currently was. And Hotch had been planning to decorate ever since Haley passed away because that was Jack’s home now, it needed to look like one. But life had gotten in the way.

And every time he looked at a magazine, or went shopping, he just got completely overwhelmed. When him and Haley had moved into the house, he’d let her take over the decorating. And when he bought his apartment, the concern had been having it be equidistance from there and work. Not how it looked.

Obviously, that had now all changed.

“I don’t want to offend you, I just wanted to know,” Derek said, taking the silence as offence.

“You’re not offending me. And no I haven’t.” Hotch sighed. Morgan leant back, giving him the space to either speak or change the subject. “I do want to,” he continued. “I just- I get overwhelmed. And I don’t know how much choice Jack should have, you know?”

“I get it. What are you doing tomorrow?”

If it was Dave, Aaron would have lied. But it wasn’t.

“Nothing, if I’m being completely honest. I may take Jack to the library and the park but aside from that…”

“Let me take you shopping. I’ve seen your apartment, I know the layout. I’ll tell you what would work best in the area and you can say yes, no or maybe. If you don’t find anything, that’s fine, but at least you can get some ideas.”

Hotch smiled. “You’d really do that for me?”

Morgan nodded. “Course. I know what I said when Strauss suspended you, but I do like you.”

“Well I would hope so after all the times I’ve saved your ass,” Hotch joked, setting the paperwork aside. The unsub was going to prison for a long time, it could wait.

Morgan’s taste was impeccable, and by the end of their shopping trip, they had purchased more decorative items than Hotch could carry. Luckily, Jack was okay with carrying the bag of wall stickers up, and he was content to babble on about everything he was going to do. Hotch had asked Morgan to stay for dinner, Jack making it impossible for him to leave.

When it got to Jack’s bedtime, he asked Morgan for a hug. Morgan bent down and embraced the kid, making eye contact with Hotch. Aaron knew what he was trying to say: neither of them would ever be capable of harming a child the way they had been.

“See you in the morning Hotch,” Morgan said, holding his hand out.

Hotch thought screw it and hugged him.

“Oh!” Morgan said with a laugh. “This is nice.”

Hotch pulled back with a smile. “Yeah. It is.”

5. Dave

When Hotch had first joined the unit, Dave learnt several things about him. One was that he wore the same suits pretty much all the time, the only difference being his tie. Two being that he hated lemon flavoured desserts with a passion, and if you injected enough morphine into him, he would tell you his literal court case for banning it.

The third, and arguably most important, was that every April, without fail, something would happen, and he would end up sick. One year it was learning he was allergic to shellfish. Another year it was chicken pox- which had been great. The year before he retired, Hotch had slipped down a hill and landed in poison ivy.

It had not been pleasant for anyone involved, even if secretly it had been hilarious to watch Hotch be forced to stay in the hotel because they didn’t know if he would pass it onto someone else.

This year, it seemed like it was the flu. When Dave answered the phone, Aaron had not sounded great. Now they were sharing a hotel room, and every few minutes, he would start coughing. It wouldn’t be a coughing fit, nor was it really enough to class him as ill, but Dave knew it was just the start.

He’d never been so glad that he had remembered to pack coughs syrup and various other medications. However, if he tried to help now, Aaron would probably do something stupid, like claim he would be fine because he did this every year, and every year he ended up not being fine.

The next day, it was clear he was unwell. He kept pressing one hand to his ear, his eyes were watery and there was a rather mortifying moment where his voice just went in the middle of his bad cop routine. Luckily, Emily was able to keep a straight face, but everyone else started giggling.

As soon as Hotch was out of the interrogation, Dave held up the cough syrup and car keys.

“You’re going to take this, and then I’m going to drive you back to the hotel. Then you’re going to get that jumper you technically stole from me, put it on and sleep. You’re not to come back till this flu passes.”

“Dave,” Hotch protested. That was the thing about him. He would be completely fine most of the time, but the moment he showed even the slightest symptom of sickness, it was only a matter of twenty-four hours before he completely shut down.

“Don’t make me phone Jessica,” Dave warned.

Hotch rolled his eyes, too tired to properly argue. A nap did sound good.

“Open up,” Dave said.

“I can give myself cough syrup,” Hotch said. However, that required him opening his mouth, so Dave just shoved the spoon in with a smirk.

It ended up knocking him out. Cough syrup always did. Dave smirked, took a quick picture and sent it to Garcia. It would be a cute surprise when Christmas came around.

Hotch was conscious enough to change into the jumper Dave had let him wear once- Hotch had been an idiot and not packed a single item of knitwear, which had led to Dave just sighing and passing his own jumper on, and then never getting it back- and the pyjama bottoms that were so worn, he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d had them since he joined.

“You’re really nice to me Dave,” Hotch mumbled, voice muffled by the hotel pillows.

Dave brushed his hair off his forehead and kissed him softly. He felt far too warm already. But it was fine. Hotch would complain, JJ would stare and he would obey the orders he’d been given.

“Get some rest kiddo,” Dave said, switching the lamp on and closing the curtains.

By the time they were flying back to Quantico, Aaron was fine. Dave was more than a little smug about that- not that he would ever take credit for his recovery, or anything like that. Nope. That was not who he was.

6. Penelope

Hotch loved all of his team. How could he not? They were his family. No, more than that. They were his chosen family.

But there was something about Penelope Garcia that he just loved even more. It wasn’t that she was his favourite, that was a bad way of wording it, but he was in awe of her entire being. The confidence with which she wore the clothes that made her feel beautiful, because screw the FBI clothing regulations, never failed to make him smile.

Her flirty comments- whether they were aimed at him or someone else- always made the colour rise in his cheeks. He had been raised in the south, where holding hands without a marriage proposal was seen as scandalous- and okay that was an exaggeration, but the point still stood. It kept them all of their toes.

But more than all of that, it was her complete and utter faith in humanity that made him love her in a different way to the rest of the team. She was always so good, and so kind and so loving. They had all seen what the world did to the people that saw beauty. Hell, she’d been on the receiving end of it all. And yet somehow, she never wavered. Even when she was upset, she managed to find the joy.

Garcia loved her boss as well. Not in a weird, forbidden romance way. Just as a best friend. He was always so sweet to her. And everyone else. He did everything he could to get her systems upgraded, always apologising when he couldn’t. Sometimes, when she needed a break from the screens and her bunker, she would just sit in his office, admiring various things.

She still couldn’t understand how he didn’t even know what half the certificates he had were for.

Garcia had spent a decent amount of time in Hotch’s office. And it just always seemed a bit boring. He kept a photo of the team in his desk drawer, alongside a bottle of wine that Rossi had told him to hide- if Strauss ever asked, nobody had even heard of alcohol- but it wasn’t very welcoming.

Hotch was welcoming. She never had any trouble going into the office when he was there. But aside from the heavy books to do with the law on the bookshelf behind him- you could take him out of the prosecutor’s office, but you could never truly get rid of the prosecutor within him- and the photo of Jack on his desk, it wasn’t him.

She hated having to grab things when he wasn’t there.

It became her mission to find a way to get it decorated. But she just never knew what to do, and she wasn’t about to tell the team. This was her special mission.

The team were coming back from a difficult case. JJ had warned her that Hotch had taken it particularly hard, so to maybe tone down whatever surprises she had planned. Garcia had put the brownies she’d made into the fridge. Damn profilers and their stupid abilities that meant they always knew when something was going on.

She was sat in Hotch’s office, just waiting for him to enter.

When he did, she stood up.

“Sir.”

He jumped. “Garcia.”

“I have something for you. It’s for your office.”

He raised an eyebrow, and suddenly, it felt like a terrible idea. She glanced round the office, at it’s neutral walls, the desk, devoid of anything put his pen pot and nameplate, the chairs that didn’t even have patterned cushions. Even the spare blanket he kept in there was plain.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be for your office, you could always put it in your bedroom. Actually, that’d probably be weird too. If you hate it, just say and I can always return it or you could give to Jack. I bet Jack would like it. If you don’t. If you do-”

“Penelope, I’m sure it’s beautiful,” he said, with the broad smile he only ever used with her.

“Right. Well, here you go.”

She held out the bag. He opened it.

“It’s a plushie.”

“Not just any plushie. It’s a beanie baby. And it’s called Bandito. I picked it because it’s got the same birthday of you. See look at the tag. Also it’s a raccoon. I don’t know if you realised that. I get now that it may be a bit weird. It’s just I was thinking about how impersonal your office is- not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I just thought that maybe, it would be nice.”

When he looked at her, she could’ve sworn there were tears in his eyes.

“Penelope, I love it. I- nobody has ever put that much thought into buying me a plushie before. I mean, nobody ever really bought me soft toys. Thank you.”

She grinned. “Don’t thank me, you deserve it. So can I hug you? This feels like a huggy moment.”

He nodded, a little hesitant. She hugged him, pretending to not notice when she felt the sleeve of her cardigan dampen slightly.

When he pulled away, she held onto his hand for a few more seconds before letting go. He put the raccoon next to his pen pot, where anyone walking past or in would see it.

“It looks perfect,” he said.

Strauss tried to make a snide comment about it the next time they had a meeting. Hotch retaliated by buying one that had the same birthday as Garcia. And by the end of the year his office had one matching up with Jack, Sean, Jessica and Haley- all in various places.

He kept the ones corresponding with the team on his desk. Because they were his family. And every time he sat down at his desk, he would be reminded that he was home.

[onechicagorpf]

Not A Stranger - Part 4

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med intern)

Waking up in bed next to a random naked guy after a drunken night out usually sucks, but eh, whatever. you’ll never see him again, right? Well except this time, random naked guy turns out to be your ED attending’s little brother, so maybe you’re a little bit screwed…

Read Part 1 here Read Part 2 here Read Part 3 here

Warnings: Very mild mentions of sex. Swearing, the usual cuss words.

A/N: The final chapter! Woohoo! Honestly I was having so much trouble with this chapter - I actually ended up writing about 7k words total of 3 completely different plots when I suddenly got this idea yesterday and I decided to go with this one. Anyway, thank you SO MUCH for all of y’all who’ve showed the previous 3 parts so much love! I really appreciate it so much! 

PS: Send me asks/messages/leave a note if you liked this and want to see more - it really makes me feel so much less insecure about my writing ahaha! Also do send me short prompts or requests that I can fill as blurbs (i.e. nothing that’s going to be a several chapter story - I will request those later on!) - preferably for Jay but I can do Will as well! Female!Halstead sibling is also okay :) Enough talking, enjoy!

The music is so loud you can barely hear your own thoughts. Or your own voice.

“HELLOOOOOO! BARMAN!” You yell at the guy making drinks 5 feet away from you. Your body is almost entirely atop the counter as you lean forward, trying to grab his attention. The couple next to you throw you a dirty look, but who cares? You’re 3 shots in, and you’re –

“ – drunk as fuck!” Lucy shouts in your ear, trying to pull you up so you straighten.

“What?” You slip off the counter and land back on your feet, wobbly. Your best friend shakes her head. “You’re drunk as fuck! How is that even possible? You barely had anything!” Lucy looks disappointed.

You laugh – a high-pitched drunken squeal – and lean in.‌ “I haven’t gone out in like, four weeks, y’know! My tolerance is down!”

Lucy throws her hands in the air, almost knocking a drink out of someone else’s hand. They yell at her, but she doesn’t notice or care. “This is why I ask you to come party with me like every week, bitch!”

You waggle your finger in front of her. Or, you try to. You’re tipsy enough that standing straight is a little difficult so you keep swaying, and you’re also fairly confident you’re seeing two of Lucy right now.

“The last time I went out with you, I got plastered and woke up next to – ”

“A total hottie! WOOO!” Lucy exclaims, shaking her fists in excitement.

“Yeah except he was also my boss’s brother, but okay.”

The bartender finally comes to you and Lucy, dropping two shots in front of you exasperatedly. You and Lucy each down one. When you flip the shot glass upside down on the counter, you can almost feel yourself losing what little awareness and sobriety was in you.

The music changes and Lucy’s eyes light up. “This is my song!” She howls, before starting to obnoxiously (and very much off-key) belt out lines. She grabs your hand, trying to lead you to the dance floor. You wave her off, saying you’ll be right behind her in a minute, and she nods before heading off.

Turning back to the counter, you lean against it dependently as you struggle with your clutch. You curse under your breath as your fingers repeatedly slip against the clutch opening, even though you had zero trouble opening it when you were sober two hours ago. Finally, your clutch opens, and you pull your phone out. Immediately, your fingers tap the messaging icon, and press on Jay’s name.

No new messages.

“Ugh,” You groan, dropping your head down in your hands. Your phone beeps randomly, but you ignore it in favour of moping.

It’s been about two weeks since that night. Two weeks since you told Jay he was ‘just some guy you were sleeping with’.

Two weeks of complete radio silence.

“Come on, don’t you want to say something to me?” You bitch out loud, glaring at the back of your phone. “I know I fucked up, I know I said mean shit, but my god, I didn’t fucking mean it – I was just. I was stupid and scared…and now I’m at the Verge again and I’m drunk, I’m soooooo drunk and my friend is – oh, she’s making out with some dude! Fuck, I was gonna ask her to book me an Uber but now I can’t and I don’t even know where my Uber app is on my phoneeeeee - ” You whine – a real full-on, high-pitched drunken whine – as you turn your phone screen around.

Voice message recorded.

Voice message sent.

“Huh?” You frown at your screen, trying to figure out what you just did, when someone knocks into you and you teeter over, almost face planting on the counter. “Fuck!” You curse, straightening and trying to look around for who did that, when a blonde head suddenly appears in view.

“Okay listen this is Alex and he’s a cutie and he wants to take me home but I gotta check if you’re okay?” Lucy informs you with the immediacy of a someone about to miss their last bus to work. You want to beg her to stay, but a) you ditched her last time when you saw Jay and she didn’t hold it against you, b) she was insistent that she had to get laid tonight, and c) Alex was hella cute.

“Get it girl!” You cheer, kissing her on the cheek and she beams. Once she exits, Alex in tow, you look around not sure what to do.

“HEY BARGUY? CAN I HAVE ANOTHER?”

***

It’s 30 minutes later that the bartender finally cuts you off and tells you in no uncertain terms that you have to go somewhere else if you want to keep drinking.

“Rude!” You exclaim into the cold air as you exit the back of the bar into a dark alley. “Fucking – I’m not even that drunk, that asshole. Like I don’t know my own limits?” You bitch to yourself as you wobble down the alley in your stupidly high stilettos. Bright lights suddenly shine at you, and you cover your face with your arms. “Motherfuck – !” You squint, trying to see which moron decided to flood the alley with his headlights.

“Jesus Christ,” You hear, and you almost immediately turn sober. You’d recognise that voice anywhere.

The lights go down, and just as your eyes adjust you see Jay Halstead exit from his GMC Sierra. Dressed in a black v-neck and dark jeans – god, does he own any colour in his wardrobe? – he steps towards you, a tight look on his face that’s otherwise devoid of any emotion.

“Why’re you here?” You ask, trying to hide the fact that your heart is beating so loud and fast you feel like you can hear it in your ears.

Jay stops in front of you, raising an eyebrow. “You called.”

You frown. “No I didn’t.”

Jay pulls out his phone and presses a button. You hear your own voice saying something about being drunk and not being able to order an Uber.

“That’s not – I didn’t – how the fuck…” You just trail off, confusion written all over your face.

“Well, I’m sure you’re not the first person to drunkenly send a voice message asking someone to come pick you up.” Jay supplies, pocketing his phone. There’s a note of judgement in his voice and you don’t appreciate it.

“Hey, I didn’t ask you to come and pick me up! I’m fucking fine!” You announce, before shoving Jay to the side and walking past him.

“You’re swaying like a leaf in the wind, you know?” Jay comments, behind you.

“Fuck you!” You swivel around sharply, pointing an accusatory finger at him, which proves to be a bad decision when you trip sideways and just about slam your shoulder into the alley wall. The only reason you don’t is that Jay lunges forward and grabs your arms, pulling you to him.

There’s a moment of silence.

“I’m not that drunk, it’s just my shoes, I swear.” You mutter into his chest. It’s true – almost. You were a little wasted when you exited the bar, fine, but in the same way that drunk people can get immediately sober once they see, say, a train collision, the sudden shock of seeing Jay seems to have burned through the fog in your mind.

You’re not sure what that says about your feelings for him...

The two of you separate, but Jay’s still holding you at an arm’s distance. As he looks down at you, he frowns. “What…are you wearing?” He asks in a judgemental tone.

You look down at yourself – it’s a short, red figure-hugging dress with side cut-outs. Looking back at him, you respond: “A dress.”

Jay snorts derisively. “Not exactly leaving a lot to the imagination.” He mutters under his breath.

“Hey!” You raise your voice, and take a step towards him to – to punch his arm or something – but once again your heels fail you and you just topple straight into his chest.‌ “Fuck!” You shout, cheeks burning, and you push back from him. Bending over, as gracefully as you possibly can in your tiny dress, you try to get your stupid shoes off. Meanwhile, the sound of Jay’s laughter is in the air and you throw a dirty look at him.

After watching you struggle with the straps of your heels for about a minute, Jay crouches down in front you. “Alright, alright, hold on,” He says. Getting on one knee, he tells you to stand and you do.

Jay’s hands wrap around your right ankle gently, and his fingers move deftly, undoing the multiple straps of the heel. You place your left hand on his shoulder, steadying yourself, and try hard to breathe regular. The feeling of his fingers against your skin is tantalising, and the sight of him crouched down before you is putting racy thoughts in your mind.

Without even thinking about it, you move your hand to hold his face.

Jay looks up at you as you run your thumb over his cheek. He holds his breath as the pad of your thumb gently swipes against his pink lips.

Bending over, you lean downwards and capture Jay’s lips in yours.

The kiss is gentle and sweet for all of three seconds, before you run your tongue over Jay’s lips and he escalates it. Starting from your ankles, his hands run up the back of your legs as he gets up. Once he’s halfway up the back of your thigh, Jay swiftly stands, lifting you effortlessly. You hook your legs around his waist like a good girl and continue the heated, ravaging kiss. Jay holds you against him with just his right arm – and my god, are you ready to come just from that because holy fuck how strong is this guy to be carrying you with one arm! – as his left hand grabs your jaw in that authoritative, bossy way that has your head spinning.

You know you shouldn’t be doing this, you know it’s going to hurt so bad when he leaves, you know the smart thing to do is to put a stop to this - to stop being with the one guy you can’t have; the one that sees you as a hookup and nothing more. But god, the way he makes you feel, the way he kisses you like he’s taking your soul – so hard and deep and yet so passionate – and the way he holds you to him like you’re his…the way he’s got your toes curling, he’s got you not giving a fuck that you’ve got one heel on and the other…somewhere on the ground – fuck, you’re so fucking gone for him.

He walks, steady and confident, and you don’t know where he’s taking you until he drops you against the hood of his truck.

You’re panting heavily, your hair fanned out around your head as you lick your lips, your pulse thundering between your legs. Jay looks down at you with nothing but lust in his eyes, before grabbing the back of your thighs and pulling you toward him roughly so that your ass is right at the edge of the hood, Jay’s hips right between your legs. The movement causes your already short dress to ride up even more, and now it’s bunched up around your hips. The cool air of the nice is cold against your legs, and especially cold against the growing wet patch at the crotch of your panties.

You look up at Jay – your eyes wide with salacious want, a desperate need for him, to touch you, fuck you, come for you –

A cacophony of sounds is suddenly in the air. A group of people are exiting the bar, loud and boisterous.

And just like that, the moment between you and Jay is over. You sit up at lightning speed, getting off the hood of his truck, pulling your dress down just as Jay steps back, swearing under his breath.

The group take their own sweet time to leave the alley, to get out of sight, and you’re so impatient you briefly consider tossing your other shoe at them to get them to move faster.

Eventually, the last of them turns the corner and you let out of a breath of relief. You turn back to Jay, opening your mouth, and he just shakes his head.

“No, no, no.” Jay runs his hands through his hair, looking agitated. He sighs deeply, before looking straight at you with the most apologetic look on his face. “We can’t be doing this, Y/N. I’m sorry, but...I can’t.”

Your entire body goes cold. 

You shake your head, eyes pleading. “Jay, no – I’m not drunk I swear – ”

“It’s not that, Y/N – ”

“Then what is it? What did I do wrong?” You whisper, reaching towards him.

“It’s nothing you did.” Jay smiles ruefully. “It’s something I did.”

You frown. “What did you do?” Jay doesn’t answer, instead just walking past you.

You grab his arm, stopping him. Jay turns, his green eyes slightly wet, mouth open but you cut him off.

“What did you do? Dammit Jay, stop shutting me out!” You exclaim, begging, and the two of you are so close now you can see Jay’s pupils dilate, and a pained expression fixes itself onto his face and it kills you seeing him this upset.

“I caught feelings for you.” Jay whispers, and your heart stops. “You said I was just some guy you were sleeping with…that you didn't feel like that about me and – and I was going to put distance between us, I swear.” Jay sighs, and you just try to keep up with what he’s saying but it’s tough because you feel like your head is underwater, like you can’t breathe. 

Jay doesn’t notice any of this, and he continues. “But then you called tonight and I heard your voice and I don't know what it is about you but I just – I just lose my mind. I was halfway down the block before I even realised I was coming to get you. And that night you came over – you were under me, taking me so well and so hot I didn't even think before – I just went so hard on you because I wanted you so fucking bad – Y/N I want you so fucking bad, all the fucking time – ” Jay’s shaking his head, his voice is cracking, there’s tears in his eyes and you – you just – 

“I'm going to fucking kill you.” You announce, and Jay closes his eyes.

“Y/N – ”

“Jay, I'm in love with you.” You admit, your voice clear as can be, and Jay’s eyes open, stunned. “I thought you thought I was just some hookup – ”

A deep frown embeds itself between Jay’s eyebrows, “Why the fuck would you think – ”

You raise your voice, slightly affronted. “I asked you about the Army! And you didn't open up to me and I thought – ”

“Oh my god – ” Jay drops his head in his hands.

“How was I supposed to know you felt the same way – ”

“I didn't tell you about that shit because I hate it! Y/N, nothing good came out of my time over there and I saw that look on your face when you found my scar and you looked horrified – ”

“Of course I was horrified – someone stabbed you!” You exclaim, your voice high, your breathing erratic. Jay looks at you, and he’s also breathing heavy...but slowly, his face just splits into a smile. You smile too.

Both of you lean in, pressing your lips together. Jay’s arms wrap around you, tight, and your hands cradle his face as the two of you sink into one another in an intimate, tender moment. Your heart feels like it’s weightless – all the happiness in the world resides within you, for a moment, and the feeling of Jay around you – your Jay – brings tears to your eyes.

When you separate, you barely move – your faces are still so close, Jay looking down at you with all the fondness in the world, and you looking back up at him, teary-eyed.

“I need to get my shoe.” You whisper, the first one to break the silence. Jay laughs, throwing his head back. You laugh with him, a giant grin on your face, as he gently rests you atop the hood of his truck again before running to retrieve your lonesome heel.

He tosses it to you and you grab it. “Do you want a kiss for that?” You ask him, smiling sweetly.

“Oh, one hundred percent.” Jay grins back, and you throw your arms around his neck. “One more thing – ” Jay interrupts you just as you pull close, and you raise your eyebrows.

“Yes?”

Jay scrunches up his face. “Someone needs to tell Will.

You roll your eyes. “You’re scared of that?”

“Hey, he’s not your big brother. I’ll bet my entire savings account he’s going to give the shovel talk to me, his own blood.” Jay counters, and you laugh. “Well, he’s a gentleman like that,” You say, slipping your hands into Jay’s pocket to pull out his phone.

Jay gazes at you with amusement in his eyes as you type a few sentences – out of his sight – and send it to Will.

“Done!” You announce cheerily.

Jay raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure – ” He’s cut off by his phone buzzing in your hand. It buzzes again. It then buzzes a third time, before it starts ringing.

“Three messages and a phone call, in 30 seconds. That’s never good news.” Jay notes, a strained expression on his face. “What exactly did you tell him?”

You shrug, pretending to be innocent. “Well, I definitely didn’t say anything along the lines of ‘Hey I’ve been bedding your intern for the last few weeks behind your back, and yes we definitely had sex the night you came over for hockey. Anyway, we’re a thing now. Bye!’.”

Jay drops his head. “Oh my fucking god – ” His phone goes off again, and Jay just curses, shutting it off. “Y/N – he’s going to kill me.” He says, eyes wide with incredulity. You just giggle, pulling him close to kiss him again. You heart soars as you feel Jay smile through the kiss. ***

Tag List: @elliee1497​ @scorpiomindfuck​ @lookatallthefeels

[msmarvelsmarvel]

Bad Boy! Ben Hardy: A Fanfic

So after months of radio silence on the status of a Ben Hardy fanfic I promised, here it is!

Based on this beautiful piece of work by the icon @young-and-youre-crazy

Ship: Ben Hardy x Reader (Y/N)

Word Count: 6056

Warnings: SMUT, cursing probably, smoking, drinking

          Living with your parents after high school had its perks. You didn’t have to pay rent, and there was always a nice meal on the table, and all your bills were paid for. The downside, however, was that they still acted like you were their little girl. You had just turned twenty and was home from college for the weekend. You didn’t exactly want to come home, but your mom had been asking when you’d be back to visit next and had expressed how much she and your father missed you.

           “Honey?” you heard your mom call from downstairs, “Dinner is ready.” You sighed and pushed out from the desk you sat at, laptop open, and made your way downstairs. You landed on the ground floor and made your way towards the dining room, taking the seat you always sat in.

           “Why don’t you say grace, dear?” your father asked. You sighed, said the little prayer, then dug into dinner.

           “So, how is college life? Meet anyone special lately?” my mom asked. Here we go again, you thought, the questions about when you planned on finding that Mr. Right. It was an endless circle of the same stuff every time you came home.

           You swallowed your food, along with whatever venom you wanted to spit, and shook your head, “No, mom, no special guy friends for me. I’m really just focusing on my studies for now,” you told her. Any other parent would be pleased to hear it, but not your mom.

           “Well, I’m glad honey, but you know you’re only in your prime for so long and I just don’t want you to look back one day and realized you’ve missed your window to find that right guy to take care of you,” she said, the same thing she always said. You carried on the night playing out the same conversation over and over. You’d counter with the fact that you didn’t need a man, or anyone for that matter, to ‘take care of you’ and your mom would smile and patronizingly tell you that she knew, but she’d feel so much better knowing you had someone to do so anyway. As always, your father would stay quiet as a mouse, offering no help to either side of the conversation.

           By Sunday you were more than ready to leave back to campus. You were already on your way back, having left out around ten that morning with an excuse that you remembered you had homework to finish. The ride back, you chewed on your lip and thought about what your mother had said, what she always said, and even though you knew it was bullshit, it still ate away at you.

 ~~~

            Nothing said a good night like a bottle of alcohol and some friends to go out with. Sundays didn’t usually have parties since most people used Sunday to recover from drinking Friday and Saturday, but this was a special occasion; it was some frat guy’s twenty-first birthday. Your friends dragged you out to this party and, even though you protested at first, you were glad they had. It was the most fun you’d had all year, and the night was just getting started.

           You needed a breather, so you ascended the basement steps and made your way towards the living room. You found no open spots, so you decided to step outside to the front porch. The chill of the night air hit you instantly, and you thanked the many stars you had made this decision. There were only a few people on the porch, two of which left back inside together after a moment. You leaned against the concrete half-wall of the porch and caught your breath.

           “You alright?” you heard a boy to your left ask. You looked over and, at first, only saw the glow of the cherry at the end of a cigarette. As your eyes adjusted and you moved towards him a bit, you noticed more of him. He was clad in a leather jacket, his jawline as sharp as a knife and the blond curls on his head concealed his forehead, “You look a little out of breath is all.” You detected an accent, British if your muddled mind was correct.

           “Dancing will do that to ya,” you told him, “Just needed a moment to cool down is all.”

           “You smoke?” he asked, offering you his cigarette.

           You held up your hand, “Not that I don’t,” you told him, “And not things offered to me by strangers in the dark.”

           The man chuckled, “That’s pretty wise,” he said, “But I’m Ben, what’s your name?”

           “Y/N.”

           “There, now we aren’t strangers anymore,” he chuckled.

           You laughed as well, “Fair enough.” You located the phone that vibrated in your pocket and saw it was a text from your mom. You opened it to see a screenshot of some dating app advertisement and, in your intoxicated state, considered chucking your phone across the lawn in frustration. Instead, you just sighed heavily and locked the phone, sliding it back in your pocket.

           “Something troubling you, love?” Ben asked.

           You scoffed and folded your arms, leaning against the concrete wall Ben sat on, “My mother is driving me insane,” you confessed.

           “Isn’t that what moms do?” Ben countered.

           You shook your head, “No, you don’t understand. It’s like she’s stuck in the ’50s. She’s convinced I need to find a man to take care of me; like I’m some sort of child incapable of taking care of myself. If it were up to her, I’d drop out of college and focus solely on dating,” you told him. It felt good to rant, you hadn’t done so to your friends because they had heard the same thing many times before. But here, confessing to this stranger, it felt nice to really get it off your chest, “I just wish I could do something, anything, to get her off my back.”

           “So,” Ben said, “You want to piss off your parents is what you’re saying?” he asked.

           You sighed, “No…,” you said, “…Yes? I dunno, I just want my mom to treat me like I’m my own capable adult, that I’m all grown up and don’t need someone to take care of me.”

           Ben took a drag of his cigarette, “Bring me home,” he offered.

           You barked a laughed, “Come again?”

           “Take me home to meet them, tell them I’m your boyfriend. They’ll see me and wish you’d never date again,” he explained.

           “Why, 'cause you’re some perfect gentlemen or something?” you asked.

           “No, I’m the exact opposite. Or, I can be to them,” he said, “I’ve got it all, all the things no parent wants their little girl to date. Tattoos, leather jacket, cigarettes, I even ride a motorcycle. I’m the poster child for bad boys, that’ll get them off your back for a while.”

           You looked at Ben, mostly in disbelief that he was even suggesting it, but as your muddled, intoxicated mind thought more on it, the more perfect it seemed, “Let’s do it.”

 ~~~

            The next morning you woke up with a headache, your head pounding as you sat up in your own bed. You hadn’t really remembered getting home, but you did remember drinking shot after shot sometime during the night. Your roommate, the friend you’d gone out with, lay fast asleep in her own bed, but you noticed she had put a water next to you as well as the bottle of pain meds; at least, you assumed it was her because you certainly didn’t remember doing it. You took the meds, drank the whole water bottle, then turned over and fell back asleep.

           The next time you woke up was much better. After taking a moment to rub sleep from your eyes, you rolled over and grabbed up your phone. When you unlocked it, it opened to a saved contact that you were sure wasn’t there yesterday; it read ‘Bad Boy Ben’ as the contact name. You raised an eyebrow at it and tried to remember if you had exchanged numbers with anyone last night.

           “Hey,” your roommate said as she entered the room, her toothbrush and toothpaste in her hand, “Sleep okay?”

           “Yeah, fine,” you said, “Hey, do you remember us meeting a Ben last night?” you asked.

           Your friend smiled, “How could you not? He was a total hottie and he seemed pretty interested in you,” she said.

           “So the contact name ‘Bad Boy Ben’ is presumably him?” you asked.

           She laughed, “Oh yeah, that’s him alright. That was what you called him all night. Pretty sure you even introduced him to other people like that. He just let you, too.”

           Just then, your phone dinged and you checked it to see a text from your mom: ‘Did you see the picture I sent last night? Could be a good app to have on your phone!’ you read the text and rolled your eyes. Then it all came back: your conversation with Ben, how he had proposed the idea of bringing him home to mom. You opened your texts and typed up one to Ben: ‘Hey, hoping you remember me. We met last night?’

           The response back was almost immediate: ‘How could I forget?’

          You found yourself smiling at his words, then typed: ‘Still want to help me?’

          ‘Well, can’t say I’ve got much better to do so yeah, why not? When do we start?’

          You thought for a moment, then replied, ‘What are you doing next Saturday?’

 ~~~~~

          Saturday came sooner than expected and you actually felt a little nervous. You had been texting Ben here and there as the days went by, but you were still just getting to know each other and now you were faced with an hour-long car ride with him. You packed your small bag for the weekend and then sat around your room waiting for the text from Ben that said he was outside; he had insisted on driving and you couldn’t turn down saving gas so you’d agreed. Your phone dinged and you checked it to see that Ben was waiting outside.

         You exited the building and saw him immediately. He was parked right outside your dorm building and was leaning against your ride; a motorcycle. That was hardly noticeable, however, now that you really got a good look at Ben. You hadn’t seen him since the party, and when you met it had been mostly dark and you couldn’t make out many details at all. Now, as you approached him, you took it all in. He was clearly a bit older than you, maybe by two or three years, and he had on the same leather jacket as when you met him, and his black skinny jeans and black biker boots matched. His hair was messy, probably from removing the helmet that sat on the front seat of the bike, but it was blonde and curly and you had to stop yourself from picturing your fingers running through it.

         “Good afternoon, sweetheart,” he greeted as you stopped before him. He was just finishing up a cigarette and he crushed the butt under his boot before looking back up at you, “All set?”

         “I think you’ve outdone yourself already, Ben,” you told him with a chuckle, “They’ll freak when we pull up on this.”

         Ben laughed, “Go big or go home, right, love?”

         “I guess so,” you mumbled as you looked over the bike. You hadn’t really ever been on the back of a motorcycle, but you didn’t want to let on that you were all but terrified of them.

         “I can take your bag,” Ben said and held out his hand. You handed over the bag and he put it in a little trunk on the back of the bike, then returned to you with a second helmet in hand, “Can’t take off without this.” You nodded and slid the helmet over your head and began fiddling with the strap, “Here,” Ben said, “Let me.” His hands took over the strap of the helmet and you tried your best not to look or feel awkward as he stood so close to you.

         When you were all set, Ben set to putting his own helmet on and then mounted the bike. He offered his hand to you and, after a second of hesitation, you took it and let him help you onto the back, “You’re gonna want to hang on tight, sweetheart,” he told you as he started up the bike. You did as he suggested and wrapped your arms around his torso in a decently tight grip as he took off.

         It wasn’t nearly as bad as you imagined. In fact, you quite enjoyed it. You had given Ben the address of your parent’s house before you had left, and since he had a mount for his phone on the front it made following the map all the easier. Before you knew it, places you had grown up around began to appear and you knew you were close to home. Ben made the final turn and your house came into view.

         “Well,” Ben said as he shut off the bike, “This is exactly the kind of place I pictured you lived.” He offered you his hand and you once again took it to accept help getting off the bike. He followed suit and helped you with the strap of your helmet again, then took off his own.

         “I think that’s an insult?” you questioned with a smirk. Your neighborhood was nice, as was the house you grew up and lived in, “Yeah, I feel insulted I think.”

         Ben laughed, “Not an insult, just an observation. Now I understand the need to piss off your folks,” he told you.

         “Okay, so in advance, I’m gonna apologize because I’m sure I’ll need to. They aren’t exactly… good at hiding their disdain for people so-“

         Ben held up a hand, “Sweetheart, I’ll be fine. I knew what I was signing up for when I said yes,” he assured you, “Now, how serious do you wanna play this?”

         You pondered for a moment, “Screw it, let’s go as serious as believable.”

         Ben smiled wide, “Go hard or go home, indeed,” he said approvingly, “I’m afraid I haven’t a ring to give you, though,” he joked.

         “Maybe next time,” you joked back as you walked towards the front door. You entered the house and walked towards the living room when you assumed your parents would be, “Mom, Dad, I’m home!” you called as you walked in.

         You heard movement and your mom appeared before you quickly. You had told her you had a special someone you wanted her to meet just a few days ago, so she was clearly eager to see who you had brought home. Her wide smile faded quickly as she got a good look at Ben, “Honey,” she said nervously, “Who is this?”

         You smiled and leaned into Ben, your hand coming to rest on his chest, “Mom, this is who I told you about. This is Ben, my boyfriend,” you told her. You fought the urge to laugh when her face paled a little; clearly, your plan was working already.

         “Oh,” she said, “Oh, lovely,” she fixed her face into a fairly obvious fake smile and extended her hand to Ben, “How do you do, Ben?” she asked.

         Ben had his arm slung around your shoulder so his other hand was free, but he placed it in his jacket pocket instead of shaking her hand, “Yeah, I’m alright I s’ppose.”

         Your mom looked between you and Ben in disbelief, then turned and made her way towards the living room, “Honey,” she called to your dad. You and Ben followed behind, but not before you threw a wicked grin to Ben and he grinned back in return.

         “Dad,” you said as he got up to greet you. His reaction was equal to that of your mom’s, though his face seemed to pale quicker than her’s, “Meet Ben.”

         Your dad walked over to the pair of you and gave Ben a long and hard once over. He cleared his throat and offered his hand to Ben, “Good to meet you, son,” your dad said.

         Ben once again rejected the hand and shrugged, “Yeah, sure. Hey,” Ben said, “Where’s the toilet, I gotta take a piss.” Now you really fought the urge to laugh, he sure was good at pretending to be an ass and you were just eating it up.

         After a moment of initial shock, your mom shut her slightly ajar mouth and pointed towards the downstairs bathroom, “Right over there, first door on your left.”

         “Great,” he said and walked off.

         Once you heard the door shut, your parents turned to you, “Well he seems… Y/N what on earth are you thinking?” your mom asked.

         You played innocent and frowned, “What do you mean, mom? You’re the one that’s been on me about finding a man to take care of me, so I did. Ben’s got plenty of experience with women, he takes good care of me.”

         “Don’t you think he’s a bit… old for you?” your dad asked.

         You shook your head, “He’s a senior, I’m a sophomore, we’re not that far apart in age.”

         “He just…” you mom began, “Where are the manners on that boy?”

         “He’s got a thing against parents, it’s nothing personal, mom, I swear,” you told her. You heard the bathroom door and smiled at Ben as he approached you again.

         Ben wrapped his arm around your shoulders again, “Miss me?” he asked you in a low voice.

         “You know it,” you replied. He smiled at you and made a move you didn’t see coming; he kissed you. It was clearly unexpected, but you weren’t exactly complaining. It was a good kiss, incredible even, and lasted way longer than it should have in front of your parents. When Ben pulled away, you quickly composed yourself and turned back to your parents, a smile on your face and pretended like that was completely normal, “Right, well, I’m gonna show Ben around,” you told your parents. Without a word from them, you turned and led Ben out of the living room and around the house.

         Upstairs, you showed him to your room and he set down his things where you instructed. You closed the door and turned to look at him as he finally shrugged off the leather jacket. He draped it across the back of your desk chair and then turned to you, “Was the kiss too far?” he asked, though you could tell he was amused.

         You shook your head, “No, just unexpected is all. I think it certainly made a statement,” you told him.

         He nodded, “Just lemme know if I’m going too far,” he said and leaned against the desk. He looked around, “So, this is your room, huh? Weird, I expected more… pink… and stuffed animals,” he joked.

         You laughed and playfully pushed his shoulder, “Shut up,” you muttered.

         Ben crossed his arms and looked at you, “So where exactly would you like me to sleep tonight?”

         You frowned in thought, “Well, I think we’ve already crossed past the point of no return, and having you sleep on the couch and me in my room might give them some hope that you’re not entirely bad, so I say you and I sleep here. I can make up something on the floor or whatever if you’d rather be more comfortable not like…” you said, suddenly feeling awkward, “Sharing a bed or whatever.”

         Ben pursed his lips, “Well, if me being on the floor is what is comfortable for you than so be it,” he told you.

         “I mean,” you said, “I don’t really care either way. The floor isn’t exactly comfortable, and I have a pretty sizeable bed so I mean if you want, not that you have to or anything, but like, if you wanted we could, I don’t know, share the bed?” you stumbled over your words nervously.

         “Whatever you wanna do is fine with me, sweetheart,” he told you, “You want me on the floor, that’s fine. You want me to share the bed with you, that’s fine as well.”

         “Y/N?” you heard your mom call from downstairs. You turned to look towards the door and then back at Ben before holding up your pointer finger and then exiting the room.

         “Yeah, mom?” you asked from the top of the steps.

         Your mom stood there at the bottom of the stairs and seemed to sigh in relief, “Dinner will be ready soon,” she said. You nodded and then returned to your room.

         “Do you think they thought we were fooling around?” Ben asked with a chuckle.

         You laughed, “I’d almost bet my life on it,” you told him.

         “We could stomp around, make some loud noises and pretend like we are,” he said with a smirk.

         “Maybe later tonight, but I like the way you think,” you replied, “Come on, let's get down there.”

 ~~~~~

            “Goodnight, mom,” you called as you shut the door to your bedroom. You turned to find Ben was in the middle of stripping off his shirt, “Oh, sorry,” you said and quickly turned back around.

           You heard Ben chuckle behind you, “It’s alright, just changing into my sweats, love. I can turn round while you change if you like,” he said, “Oh, and you can turn around now.”

           You turned to see he was sat on the bed, no shirt on and a pair of sweatpants on. You caught yourself looking too long, so you jumped into action to grab your bag and pull out your sleep clothes, “That’s alright, I have to brush my teeth and stuff anyway so I’ll just change in the bathroom,” you said and quickly exited the room.

           When you reentered your room, Ben was lounging on the side of the bed you’d told him you didn’t sleep on, “Ready to really make your parents hate me?” he asked as you approached the bed.

           You giggled, “You were serious about that?”

           He shrugged, “I don’t see why not. Could be fun.”

           You crawled into bed next to Ben and looked at him for a moment, “You’re crazy, you know that?”

           He grinned, “Of course I do, but that’s what makes me so charming,” he said cheekily.

           You laughed this time, “Oh, is that what it is?”

           “Well,” he said and shrugged, “I have other good qualities of course. For example, I’m an excellent listener,” he said, “And I actually have fantastic manners when I’m not pretending to be a total jackass.”

           You chuckled, “I thought my mom was gonna faint at dinner. Picking at your plate while my dad was saying grace was an excellent touch.”

           It was Ben’s turn to chuckle, “I thought it might be. I’ll admit, I was worried it was a little too risky. I mean, I wasn’t sure if you would get upset with me for that.”

           You shook your head, “Not at all. Not really religious like my folks.”

           You two fell into silence for a moment, awkwardly looking at each other and then quickly looking away. “So,” you said, “Ready to freak out my parents once and for all?”

           “You’re really sure about this? I mean, I’m one hundred percent on board but it’s a pretty big statement, ya know?”

           You looked at him in thought, your lips pursed and said, “I’ve been getting the same speech my whole life basically. I practically grew up hearing that I needed a nice man to take care of me, that I shouldn’t solely depend on myself and whatnot. For once, I’d really like to stick it to them, ya know? So I think a big statement is exactly what we need.”

           Ben nodded, “Then let's get to it.” You both smirked and stood up in the bed and began to gradually bounce in the bed. You smiled at Ben as the bed began to squeak.

           “Big statement?” Ben asked.

           “Big statement,” you confirmed. He gave you a wicked smile and then let out an incredibly sexual, and incredibly loud, moan. You were slightly taken aback just how… sensual it was, but pushed it aside and joined him. You had to admit, you felt incredibly silly doing so, but you let out a few pornographic moans and even threw in a dragged out moan of Ben’s name.

           “Come on, sweetheart,” Ben said louder than necessary, “Cum for me.” You had to fight off the laugh that was ready to erupt as Ben threw you a dopey smile.

           “Oh, Ben!” You called out, “Yes, right there baby!”

           “Grand finale?” Ben said softly. You nodded and the two of you let out one final loud moan. You collapsed back into bed panting a little from bouncing and trying very hard not to laugh your ass off as you and Ben caught your breath.

           “That was the best fake sex I’ve ever had,” Ben joked. You and he were laying on your backs looking up at your ceiling that was decorated with glow in the dark stars.

           You laughed softly, “Same here.” You were throughout amused with the situation, but that wasn’t actually what was at the front of your mind. What was, however, was just how much Ben’s fake moans had turned you on. Fake or not, his deep voice letting out guttural moans and saying your name in a sensual way had you clenching your legs together as you laid in bed.

           “So,” Ben said after a moment.

           “So.”

           “Guess we can get to sleep then. Can’t wait to see their faces in the morning,” he said.

           “Yeah,” you said, “Me either.” As you both laid there, you wondered if Ben was having the same thoughts that you were, “Well, goodnight.” You said and turned over to face away from him.

           “Yeah,” he said, “’Night.”

           You look straight ahead of you, the wall seemingly staring back, taunting you. ‘You have the hots for your fake boyfriend’ it seemed to tease. ‘You want to know what his real sex moans sound like’. The sound of Ben’s fake moans replayed in your head as you laid there. Your mind wandered, you wondered what his face would look like as he orgasmed, what his final moan would sound like. You wondered what his slender fingers would feel like on your bare skin, what they’d feel like inside you.

           You sighed and turned over in your bed, now angered at the wall that wouldn’t shut up. You turned right over to see Ben facing you, and your movement prompted him to open his eyes to look at you in question. You laid there, facing the most attractive person you had ever seen, and couldn’t help but let your eyes slide down to look at his lips. He caught this, of course, since his face wasn’t even a foot away from yours.

           “Y/N,” he said softly.

           “Yeah?” you whispered back.

           “I-“ he began, “Can I-“

           “Kiss me?” you asked. You didn’t even wait for any sort of response, “Please do,” you practically whined. His response was immediate; he placed his hand on the side of your face and brought you closer, his lips crashing against yours. It was passionate, it was hot, and it was everything you expected it to be. The kiss you two had exchanged in front of your parents was for show, there wasn’t any emotion behind it really, but this? This? It took your breath away. Ben took his hand away from your face and moved it further down your side and around to the small of your back. He used this new position to pull you even closer, which you didn’t protest.

           You didn’t protest so much that you took a bold risk and pushed Ben back a bit so that he was flat on his back, then you swung your leg over his body and hovered over him. You broke the kiss finally to sit up a bit and move your hair out of the way before leaning back in to capture him in another breathtaking kiss.

           You were full of bold moves, it seemed, as you broke away from his lips and began kissing along his jawline and down his neck, “Y/N,” Ben panted.

           “Tell me to stop if it’s too far,” you breathed against his neck.

           “Don’t stop, please keep going,” he begged. You smirked and nibbled a bit here and there on his neck, then trailed your kissed further south. You kissed down the ridges of his abs and stopped just short of his sweatpants band. “Keep going, keep going,” Ben repeated. You looked up at him and locked eyes with the pretty panting blond and gave him a small smile. You hooked your two pointer fingers inside the band of the sweats and dragged them down. You let out a soft moan when you saw he had gone commando; his dick sprang up and stood at attention, waiting for you. You licked your lips, biting your lip slightly before leaning in and taking the head of his cock in your mouth. He let out a much more real, much more throaty moan compared to his fake ones. The sound egged you on; you needed to hear more.

           You weren’t exactly very experienced, but you had gathered enough from your friends and from stories you read to give you a general idea of what to do. You slowly worked the member further into your mouth, working the parts you couldn’t fit with your hand. It was difficult, at first, to find a good rhythm while trying not to gag and still breathe through your nose, but once you finally got passed that it was easier with each bob.

           You were achieving your goal, too. Ben’s moans became more frequent and more audible as you went. His hand came up and tangled up your hair with his slender fingers, pulling it every so often when you hit a particularly sweet spot.

           “Sweetheart, Y/N, I-,” he huffed, “I’m so close.” You knew immediately where you wanted his load, and you made it clear when you picked up speed a bit. Ben was a moaning mess as you pulled him to the brink, his load exploding in your mouth as he let out a final, loud moan. You pumped his cock a few final times, ensuring you had gotten all of his cum, then pulled off with a sloppy pop. You wiped up around your mouth and crawled back up towards Ben to show him an empty mouth.

           “Christ,” he muttered, “You’re pretty good at that.”

           You smiled at him, “Why, thank you,” you said as you laid back down beside him and faced him.

           He seemed to get this look all of a sudden; it seemed sinister. “My turn,” he said. Before you could even comprehend what was happening, he had you flipped onto your back and was nipping at your inner thighs.

           “Good Lord,” you panted. Your inner tights were incredibly sensitive, and having Ben so close to the place you wanted him most made you even wetter than you were before. He was teasing you, planting kissed and small love bite to your tights, “Bennnn,” you whined, “I didn’t tease you much, don’t be mean.”

           He chuckled and threw his gaze up to look at you, “Sorry, sweetheart, can’t help myself. Love having you squirm under me.” He obliged, however, and quickly discarded your underwear. He parted your legs, held them apart as best he could with one hand, and with the other hand, he took his middle finger and slowly run it up your slit, parting your pussy lips. He collected some of the juices you’d accumulated and ran his slicked up finger up and down your cunt.

           “Bennnn,” you whined again.

           He chuckled, “All right, all right,” he said and drove right in. He ran his tongue from your hole all the way to your clit and you released a moan so sexual it surprised even you. He toyed around a bit, poking his tongue here and there to get himself familiar with what made you moan louder. When he finally decided he had found just the right spot, he flicked his tongue to verify. A jolt of pleasure ripped through your body and you gripped at Ben’s hair to ground yourself.

           Ben was a man in the desert without water and your pussy was a tall, cool drink of water. At least, that’s what it felt like as Ben vigorously flicked his tongue over your clit. It was intense, and you knew you weren’t gonna last nearly as long as you wanted to. You tried to fight off your orgasm, tried to ensure this heart-stopping sensation never ended, but it had been a while since your last orgasm and Ben was just so damn good.

           In just a few minutes, you were a panting mess, “Ben,” you managed to breathe out, “Ben, don’t stop. So close.” He seemed to pick up the pace if that was even possible, and seconds later you moaned out his name and came hard. You saw stars for a few seconds as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. You were pulling at his hair, moaning his name, but he kept going. You were so sensitive, so wrecked already, but god help you, you needed Ben to keep going, so you didn’t stop him. He licked you through your entire orgasm, and just when you thought he was done, he kept going.

           You moaned loud as he brought his hand up and easily slid two fingers inside. You were out of your mind, not a thing on your brain besides the intense pleasure Ben was providing right now. The fingers added something you didn’t even think was missing until they were there. And just when you thought ‘this is it, this is the best thing I’ll ever feel’, Ben curved his fingers and quickly found a spot inside you that you thought was just a myth; your G spot.

           Well, that second orgasm came faster than you ever imagined, but there you were, pulling on Ben’s beautiful curls with one hand while the other clawed at the bedsheet. You turned your head and managed to cover your mouth with a pillow as you screamed out in pleasure. Ben licked you through that orgasm as well. When he felt you had calmed a bit, he removed his fingers and finally removed his mouth from your core. You were dizzy, you were seeing more stars than before, and your breathing made it seem like you just ran a five-minute mile.

           You knew Ben had laid back down next to you, but your brain was still in shock and your voice seemed to had run away with your last orgasm. You took in a few deep breaths, began to gather your thoughts, and mustered up enough energy to turn and face Ben.

           “You alright?” he asked, his clean hand coming up to gently stroke your face.

           “That-“ you attempted, “There are no words. I’ve never experienced-,” you faltered, “That was incredible.”

           Ben chuckled, “Glad you enjoyed it.”

           “I never want to do anything but that for the rest of my life,” you said with a laugh.

           “Well, that can certainly be arranged.”

           “This is not how I imagined this night would go.”

           “Me either,” Ben said, “It's way better.” You smiled at him, “Do you need anything? I know that last one was pretty intense. Here,” he said and reached over to grab up a water bottle he had brought from downstairs, “You should drink some water.” You gladly accepted the water and took a few sips before passing it back to him.

           You smiled at him as he looked at you with soft eyes, then leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips. This one was much more refined than the others, much gentler and just as passionate. When you broke away, you cuddled up next to him and laid your head on his chest. “Goodnight, Ben.”

           “Goodnight, sweetheart,” he muttered quietly. You quickly drifted off to bed, comforted by Ben’s steady breathing and warm embrace.      

[finnyboywolfhard]

Song That The Morning Brings (Chapter Twenty Four)

Steve Harrington x Henderson! Reader 

catch up here 

summary: the final battle is fought and the time following brings them together 

warnings: angst, FLUFFFF, violence, cursing, spoilers ig 

A/N: this is the final chapter, but there is an Epilogue coming your way :)

word count: 5.3k 

“Do you remember where to go?” Y/N said shouting to Steve as he started to rush to start the car.

“Yeah, yeah I do.” He said as he pressed hard onto the gas pedal. He was going nearly thirty over the speed limit. The three were silent during the ride, through every corner they turned and beyond. They were speeding towards the mall when Y/N saw the stalemate that was ahead of them. There was Nancy standing outside the car with a gun and Jonathan trying to get that car to start, whilst Billy was reving his Engine a bit farther away.

“Fuck, Fuck that’s bad.”

“Y/N, when you said stupid for the promise, what exactly does that entail?”

“Not almost killing yourself.”

“So, purposely hitting Billy’s car might be stupid.”

“I say do it.” Robin chimed in from the back seat.

“If we’re being stupid, we might as well all be stupid together. Let’s do it.” He pushed his foot to the gas, watching to see exactly were Billy was going. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut as they slammed against Billy’s car causing it to spin out a little bit.

Once the car stopped moving, they all looked up to where the other group was. Steve turned towards Y/N and Robin saying,

“Are you guys okay?”

“Ask me tomorrow.” Y/N said, shrugging off the concern at the moment. Her adrenaline was pumping far too hard for her to fully come to terms with how she was feeling, both emotionally and physically. The sound of the monster snarling from inside the mall startled them all back to reality. The Toddfather group stood up in the car to look ahead, before jumping out and getting into the back of Nance’s oldsmobile. The crew began speeding away from the mall, the monster not far from them. The radio crackling once more, gaining the attention of the group awoken everyone back from the nightmare for a moment.

“Dusty bun, you copy?”

“I copy Suzie poo. It sounds much better now thanks.” Y/N and Steve locked eyes for a moment, both showing full shock that Suzie was real. The two lovebirds began discussing, Dustin asking her if she knew Planck’s constant.

“Do you know the Earth orbits the sun?”

“Okay, so I know it starts with two sixes, and then a…what is it?” He asks, losing track of the number.

“Okay, let me just be clear on this. I haven’t heard from you in a week, and now you want a mathematical equation that you should know so you can…save the world?” She asks, clearly pissed off. Y/N giggled a bit before saying,

“I think someone is in trouble.” This made Steve laugh to himself.

“Suzie poo, I promise, I will make it up to you as soon as possible.” He pleaded with her.

“You can make it up to me now.”

“What?”

“I want to hear it.” This caused confusion for everyone in the car. They looked around at each other, looking to see if any of them knew what was up, most of the attention going to Y/N.

“Not right now.”

“Yes, now, Dusty-Bun.”

“Suzie-poo this is urgent.” This is when Y/N got nervous as to what she meant. She knew her brother and he sounded like he was attempting to distract her from whatever she wanted. Either to save himself from embarrassment or anger.

“Yes, yes, you’re saving the world, I heard you the first time,  but Ged is also having Earthsea and he’s about to confront the shadow, so this is Suzie, signing off.”

Y/N let out an anguished “No!” from the back of the car. They needed that number, and now they weren’t gonna have it. There is no way that they were ever going to figure it out in time to save them all.

“wait, wait, wait, wait! Okay! I’ll do it, okay okay!” Dustin yelled, gaining Suzie’s attention back. They all began waiting in anticipation for what he had to do. Dustin’s singing voice began to flood through the car as he sang The Never Ending Story. They all shared estranged look with one another while they continued the song, eventually turning it into a duet. They sang the entire song together, before she finally gave in and said the number.

“Planck’s constant is 6.62607004.” She said before expressing how much she missed him. They went back and forth before they were cut off.  Steve, Robin and Y/N were all sitting facing backwards, watching the monster. Yet, for some reason the monster was turning itself around, heading back towards the mall.

“Uh..It’s turning around!” Steve yelled towards Jonathan and Nancy.

“What?”

“It’s turning around!” Y/N yelled once again, becoming flush with the glass.

“Maybe we wore it out!” Lucas said hopefully.

“I don’t think so. Hold on.” Jonathan spoke before turning the wheel as hard as he could to the left in order to turn the car around to follow the monster back to the mall. As he did so, Y/N got propelled backwards into Steve’s lap, her body lying flesh against his, faces less than an inch apart. Once the car had found its center once again, Y/N pulled herself off of Steve and back to her original seating position. She stared ahead, watching the way the monster moved around, ready to go back to the mall.

“What are we even going to do when we get there?” Robin yelled towards the rest of the group.

“We’re going to need to distract it from both El or the gate closing.” Will spoke up for the first time in a while.

“Isn’t there fireworks on the roof?” Y/N said towards all of the group.

“Yeah, why?”

“We all take some, we light them and torch the fucker.” Y/N said.

“Is that really the best idea?” Steve said mocking how she usually sounds.

“No, but if you all trust me it will be.” They all looked around the car at one another. Jonathan and Nancy grasped hands in the center console.

“Let’s do it.” Jonathan said as they pulled harshly into the mall. They separated into three separate groups, each of them taking a box of fireworks.

“Stay safe.” Jonathan said to everyone. They all muttered their ‘you toos’ and went to their dedicated areas. Y/N watched as Steve set down the box and Y/N lifted a lighter from the pocket of her now battered uniform. All at once, every single group was throwing their fireworks to the creature standing in the center of the mall. It was almost beautiful. Ironic really, how there could be beauty found in this chaos. All of the glowing bright colors, ricocheting and scorching the monster at hand. The rainbow was exploding from every angle, as each group threw firework after firework. Smoke started to fill the room.

“Hey asshole! Over here!” Steve yelled, throwing a firework making direct impact to the monster. They continued throwing until they had run out. Eventually, with each firework thrown, both the monster and Billy grew weaker and weaker. Everyone’s screams echoed around the room as they watched the monster begin to fall closer to the ground.

“Dustin! We’re out of time!” Y/N yelled into the walkie talkie to her brother. She placed the walkie down, ignited her final firework and threw it at the flayed monstrosity. From the balcony, Y/N looked down to where Billy was hovering over El. She couldn’t quite tell if he was still going to hurt her. For a moment, he looked more human than ever. El touched his face gently, as he rose to his feet and faced towards the flayed monster. The monster looked forward onto him, all of its limbs attacking Billy from every angle. Starting with his hands, eventually moving to his torso. Billy let out one more large scream before the monster shoved its largest limb to the center of his torso. Y/N watched as Billy collapsed to the floor. The monster began flailing around, as it’s life began to slip slowly away. The monster’s body flung itself towards the railing where the remaining members of the Scoops Troop stood. Steve pulled Y/N to the floor with him, making sure she wasn’t injured by this now dying monster. When they heard the final thud, they rushed over to the balcony to look down upon the monster. Now dead, they looked at it for a few seconds, before Y/N decided to run down the steps to check on El, Max and Mike who were down below. They all congregated for a moment, before rushing their way out of the smokey building. Dr. Owens and multiple other guardsmen guided them all out of the building. Y/N ran through the back of scoops to get out, grabbing the keys she had left there as she was going. She ran outside just as the ambulances and first responders were coming up to the entrance of the mall.

A few of them came up to her to ask questions, mainly the EMTs who checked for any extreme injuries. They walked her over to an ambulance that was sitting a bit away, just so she could ground herself for a moment. She sat on the edge, wrapped in a fire blanket, wishing and hoping that this was the end of their problems. Wishing and praying that everyone was okay.

“Y/N/N?” Steve’s voice woke her from her trance.

“Oh, hi Stevie. What’s up?”

“I just came to check on you. Are you okay?”

“I’m just trying to figure out what in the hell just happened. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, they cleaned up my face a bit and gave me some water, I honestly don’t think all of …well this will hit me until tomorrow. Why are you just sitting over here by yourself?”

“ I’m waiting to get cleared to drive home. I don’t think my mom has a clue what’s happening.”

“I forgot about that, my keys were taken by the Russians, how am I gonna drive?”

“I can take you back if I’m cleared, I’m gonna take Robin home. I’ll have to pick up Dusty and Erica first, but I assume the Sinclairs will rush to get both of them.”

“Oh sweet thanks.” A silence formed between them. Y/N’s focus was pulled away from Steve and over to where Joyce was standing, giving Will a big hug.

“Y/N/N, the reason I actually came over here was-“

“Steve wait, where’s Hopper? He’s not with Joyce.” She started to panic, watching as Will and his mom stood there hugging. Joyce’s eyes shifted over to El, her eyes brimming with tears. She shook her head a gentle no. Y/N felt her heart drop to her stomach. He was gone. Hopper was gone. Y/N ran over to Eleven as quick as she could, catching her before she fell to the ground in tears. Y/N kept whispering “I’m so sorry” to El over and over and over again. Joyce walked over and took control of the situation. Y/N walked back over to where Steve was standing and fell into his arms, letting a few sobs escape for Hopper. They stood for a moment in tears, before one of the responders gave them the good to go symbol. Y/N, Steve and Robin piled into her car, immediately going to get Dustin, who was alone after the Sinclair’s picked up Erica. Dustin apparently refused a ride, knowing that she was going to come get him.

               The car was overwhelmingly silent. Everyone sat in their own denial and pain. Once they pulled up to the Henderson’s Claudia ran outside, pulling her children into her arms. Quietly whispering in their ears how much she loved them and how glad she was that they were safe. After a few minutes, her attention was pulled away by an introduction.  

“Robin my dear, I don’t think we’ve met yet. “

“We have not; it’s lovely to meet you Ms. Henderson.”

“Please, call me Claudia.” The woman gave the girl a sweet smile. “It’s nice to see you again Stevie, I think the last time I saw you was Graduation. Wasn’t that such a good night?”

“Uh, yeah it was a pretty good night. How have you been, by the way?”

“Same old, same old. Too much work for not enough money. But I can’t complain, I didn’t have to escape fires at my job!” Claudia said with a cackle.

“Mom! Oh my god!” Y/N said with shock and laughter both appearing in her voice.

“What?! This is just as scary to me as your mother! I’m trying to add some levity to it! I’ll stop.” She leaned closer to Y/N, but barely adjusted the volume of her voice. “Have you told you know who about you know what?”

Y/N let out a sigh, realizing that her mom can tell something went down between her and Steve over the course of the mess. Which, had yet to be reconciled.

“I have not, but I will.” She couldn’t help but let her mind wander back to Hopper. He was gone. She would never get to have a Hopper hug ever again. She was never going to listen to his awful advice and his sage fatherly wisdom. She was never gonna get to hear him jokingly flirt with Flo. She was never going to ride shotgun in his truck while he complains about Hawkins again. She was never gonna see the day where he finally wore Joyce down enough to go to dinner with him. She was never gonna have Hopper again. Knowing how much this hurt her, she couldn’t imagine how much pain El was in. This wasn’t gonna be something that will go down lightly.

Claudia kept talking to the three others in the yard for a while. They all told her about all of the events from the past few days, from all perspectives. And not just the already news formulated truth, the REAL events. They stood around before Y/N’s focus came back onto the night.

“Do you guys mind if I change quick before taking you home?”  Y/N said in a reserved tone.

“No, I don’t mind.” Steve said gently.

“You’re both welcome to come in while she does so.” Claudia voiced.

“Oh yes! Can I come see your room?” Robin asked with excited curiosity.

“Yeah sure.” The group moved quietly into the house.

“Dusty, say goodnight to Robin and Steve, you need to shower and go to bed.” Claudia said looking to Dustin with pleading eyes. He did as he was told, bidding them goodnight with long hugs and sad eyes. He wandered into his room and came back out moments later with clothes for after his shower.

“Okay, Robin are you coming back?” Y/N said pointing her finger while she started to leave the room. Robin quickened her step slightly while she followed Y/N back to her room. Robin began wandering around her room looking at all the trinkets, pictures and items she had scattered around the room. Y/N hastily got out of her Scoops uniform and into a pair of sweatpants and the hoodie from Steve. She grabbed a makeup wipe and wiped as much gunk off of her face as she could. She would shower when she got back from taking them home, but this would do for now.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you actually okay with me?”

“What about you? That you like girls? Robin, I love you for who you are, nothing could ever change that.”

“Thank you Y/N, really. I’m so thankful for you.” Robin said with a broad smile. “What’re you gonna do about Steve? That was pretty heavy in the bathroom.”

“Yeah, I figured I would let that go until I take him back. It’s not like it’s gonna be a bad conversation. Anyway, you ready to go home?” She looked back and saw Robin stretched out nearly sleeping on her bed.

“Ugh, I guess so. Your bed is cozy.  I think I may have to come back and sleep in it sometime.”

“Are you asking me to have a sleepover Robin Buckley?”

“That’s exactly what I am asking.” She said as Y/N helped lift her from the bed by her hands. They began walking out before Y/N replied.

“You absolutely will have to come back.” The two girls let out a few giggles while walking into the living room only to see Steve with his arms wrapped around Claudia in a comforting embrace.

“Thank you Claudia, thank you so much.” He looked up from her shoulder and saw the two walking in. He started to pull away from the mother’s embrace.

“You ready to head out Stevie?” Y/N broke the silence.

“Yeah….Uh, yeah. I’m good to go.” Steve glanced between Y/N and her mom a few times.

“I call shot gun!” Robin said, running to and out of the door, yelling goodnight and thank you to Claudia. Steve rushed after her in attempts to race her, saying the same things as Robin.

“I’ll be back in like an hour or so. Head to bed, I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Y/N, I love you so much. Please be careful, come back head right to the shower and then right to bed. Okay?”

“Okay, I will do that. I love you mom. Trees, Leaves, Needles.”

“Trees, Leaves, Needles.”

Y/N grabbed the keys from the side table and found her way back to the car. Robin and Steve were bickering about Robin getting shotgun.

“Why are you guys fighting? Haven’t you had enough for the night?”

“Settle it for us, who are you taking home first?” Steve asked from the back seat.

“I’m taking Robin back first, then you. Now buckle up.”

The three keep lighthearted conversation until they get to Robin’s house just a little outside of town. Y/N pulled the car to a stop in front of Robin’s home. Y/N puts the car in park and unbuckles her seatbelt. She walks to the other side of the car and wraps Robin in a warm and tight embrace.

“It was fun almost dying with you.” Y/N said in a completely dry tone.

“That’s one way to put it. Goodnight Y/N.”

“Night Rob!” Y/N said while getting back in the car, watching Steve and Robin say their goodbyes from the drivers seat.

He climbed into her car and looked at her gently, she signaled him to buckle up and he did as he was told. They began driving.

“How are you hanging in there Y/N/N?”

“I’m barely hanging by a thread. I just…I can’t believe that I watched Billy die and now Hopper is gone. I also can’t believe all the Russian shit but that will take a lot longer to unpack.”

“I get it, I am so sorry about Hopper. I know how much he means to you, and how much you meant to him.”

“He’s just…” Y/N took a long deep breath to ensure that she wouldn’t cry. “He’s just the closest thing I’ve ever had to a real dad. Same for Eleven, I just worry about her. Ya know? But anyway, how are you? How are you hanging in there?”

“I’m doing alright, feeling a little disgusting from the drugs but vomiting it all up and confessing my love for you helped wake me up a bit. Is it bad that I’ve gotten used to being so scared that this hasn’t even sunk in yet?”

“It is bad, but I’m the same way. I feel…numb.” The car became drowned out by the music playing on the radio. Y/N kept driving, letting the music fill the air rather than rambled thoughts. She knew she needed to tell Steve that she felt the same way, especially because he has apparently known for longer than she has about how he felt. But for some reason, she couldn’t do it. Each moment that felt like it would be the moment, fell flat. She just couldn’t do it.

As she pulled into the Harrington household, all of the emotions of tonight came rushing to her.

“Goodnight, Y/N/N. Promise me you’ll drive safe. Call me tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course. Right when I wake up I’ll call.” She smiled at him. He started getting out of her car and she couldn’t move for some reason. “Goodnight Stevie.” He started walking across her lawn, and that’s when her body took over. She hurriedly unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped out of her car. She ran across the yard.

“Y/N/N, what’re you do-“ Steve was cut off by Y/N kissing him. Like clockwork the two worked in perfect sync and harmony.

Her hands worked their way to his cheeks, hand squishing his cheeks together. Her hands reached back to the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to her. This kiss felt different. Instead of the hungry, lustful kiss that they had previously shared, this one was gentle, soft but rushing with passion. Steve’s hands found their way to her waist, pulling her body as close to him as he physically could. Y/N began to pull her face away. The space between them stayed tight, but she opened her eyes slowly to look at the boy in front of her. There he was smiling like a dope, looking in her eyes deeply.

“In case you couldn’t tell, this is me saying I love you back.” She said with a giggle.

“Nah, nope. I didn’t catch that.” His eyes never left hers the entire sentence.

“Steven Joseph Harrington, I am wildly, deeply, crazy in love with you.” Huge smiles were mirrored on both of their faces.

“When did you know?” Steve asked. Y/N gave a timid smile. “Come on! I told you when I knew!”

“My dead honest answer is probably Graduation night. I think that there were feelings before that, but grad night kinda slapped me in the face.”

“Unbelievable!” Steve said with a sarcastic scoff.

“What?!”

“I knew SIX whole months before you? That’s baffling.” He said, pushing her away softly before turning right back to her.

“You’re the one who waited so long to kiss me.”

“What do you mean?!”

“You could have kissed me the moment we met and I would have fallen in love. But you waited until AFTER we graduated.” She mocked his jokingly angry tone. He softly grasped her chin, pulling her in for more kisses. He was kissing her lips longingly at first, but quickly started wildly pecking her all over her face. She cried out for him to stop a few times, breaking through her raucous laughter. Once he finally let her alone she cracked one final joke. “Oh my god, my brother got a girlfriend before I even got a boyfriend.”

“Barely, my parents thought you were my girlfriend the entire time.” She slapped his arm and pushed herself away, realizing how late it was and how bad she wanted to go home.

“Goodnight Stevie, I love you.”

“Goodnight Y/N/N, I love you.”    

 A week had passed before they held Hopper’s funeral. They organized a public wake for him but a private burial. Y/N dreaded the day as it had come closer and closer. He was really gone. They had never found his body, but it was no shock considering how the weapon exploded. The morning of the burial, when she got up, her legs felt weak and her heart was racing a mile a minute. She got dressed in her loose fitting black dress and didn’t dare put a touch of makeup on knowing how much she was going to cry. A knock on her door snapped her attention.

“Y/N/N?” Steve said, cracking the door a little bit. She looked up at him with a sad gaze. He walked a little further into her room, scooping her into his arms for a hug. Her rest his head atop of hers, making sure was encased in comfort. “Are you almost ready to go my dear?” His voice was softer than usual, showing how deep his care for her was.

“I’m ready. Did you tell Dustin it was time?” She said pulling herself away from his chest to look in his eyes. They were sad, but they were nothing compared to her eyes that were flooding with loss. She looked like she was becoming lost.

“Yeah, he’s already out in the car.” He said reaching down to grab her hand.

The drive to the cemetery was quiet, all of them mourning to themselves, yet also together. Steve’s hand rest against Y/N’s thigh, rubbing soft circles as he drove. Her hand sat on top of his forearm, just to make one more point of contact between them. They arrived at the cemetery, meeting up with the remaining members from that night. Y/N barely dropped Steve’s hand the entire time. Pastor Charles asked if anyone would like to speak about Hopper, Y/N instinctively raising her hand.

“When I moved to Hawkins, it was at a time where I needed a father the most, yet I was escaping my own. It’s already hard enough moving to a new school, but moving right at the edge of pubescence is even harder. The moment I met Hopper I knew he was going to help me. And he did. With everything. After all of the events over the past few years and everything in between, there was no one else I wanted to turn to for support, care, advice—well—pretty much everything.” Her voice started to shake, she coughed to cover it up. “Over time, Hopper took up the role of father for me in a way. Obviously, not to the same extent as El, but he was still there. Hopper, if you can somehow hear this. I need you to know how much I love you, and how much you have changed my life. I’m forever thankful for you. Goodbye.” She let the last word fall out, immediately rushing over to Steve to sob into his shoulder. He rubbed her shoulders as she let out more sobs, not once letting go. El and Joyce also decided to talk, but everyone else couldn’t bring themselves to speak over the other three women. The group started to dissipate but Y/N stayed with El for as long as she needed. She told the others to go, and that she’d bring El to dinner in a few hours. The two and cried and talked and bonded for a while, finding comfort in the pain.

 For a few months, being jobless was okay. They got some compensation for the loss of the mall, and they needed time to grieve and relax from the trauma they had endured. But eventually it reached a point, where they needed to get jobs and they needed them quick. So, Steve, Robin and Y/N decided, why not work together again? They had all agreed on Family Video and ran for the hills with it. Steve took them all there on a cooler morning, ready to get the jobs. He pulled in front of store and they all piled out of it.

“You put your mom down as a reference?” Robin asked reading over all of their applications, specifically questioning Steve’s

“Yeah, Why not? She’s like super well respected.”

“Why not? Maybe because she would be biased.” Y/N mocked her boyfriend as he held the door open for her and Robin.

“You are such a dingus.” Robin let out as she trailed past.

They walked up to the counter where Keith was working, handing him the applications as he examined them intently. They all just kind of stood there as he read over them again and again.

“Uh, just to be clear, we weren’t fired, you know the mall burned down and like, killed a bunch of people.” Y/N winced at the thought of all the death. Keith set the papers down for the first time and glanced across all three people.

“Thanks for sharing. Didn’t know.” He threw the papers back towards Robin before pointing at Robin and asking “Three favorite movies. Go.”

“Uh…The Apartment, Hidden Fortress, Children of Paradise.”

“You go!” He snapped towards Y/N’s direction, demanding her to answer.

“Girl Friends, The Graduate and Taxi Driver.” She said swiftly, having already thought about them as Robin was answering. He leaned his head slightly before shoving his finger towards Steve’s face, signaling his turn to answer.

“Favorite movies?” Steve said nervousness evident in his voice.

“Did I stutter?”

“uh… Animal House, for sure. Um…” Steve let his focus drift around, trying desperately to think.

“Eyes on me Harrington.” Keith said, pointing to his own eyes.

“Yeah…Uh, Star Wars.”

“A New Hope?”

“A new what now?” Steve said, Y/N groaned a little bit. They had just watched them all for Dustin a few days ago.

“Which Star Wars?”

“The one with the teddy bears, duh.” He said before mimicking the sound of an Ewok. “No, uh, Oh the one that just came out! The movie that just came out. The one with the DeLorean and Alex P Keaton, and he’s trying to bang his mom.” He let out a laugh as he finished his sentence, both Y/N and Robin sighing, knowing exactly where this was going. “The time…Yeah, those are my top three. Classics.”

Keith had his eyes wander around them a few times, examining them once more.

“You two start Monday.” He said pointing in between Y/N and Robin. “You start never.” He said with dead seriousness in his voice as he pointed at Steve. Y/N felt her hand go to rub his shoulder a bit, watching his head fall in disappointment.

“Will you just, um…Will you give us a minute?” Robin asked gently towards Y/N and Steve.

“Yeah, um, yeah. Come on Stevie, let’s look around.” Y/N began to pull Steve towards the section of the video store closest to the exit. They stood there for a second.

“God, why couldn’t I think of any movies? I looked like an idiot.” Steve said angrily.

“It’s okay Stevie, you were nervous, you couldn’t help it.” Y/N looked towards the counter, where Robin was leaning close to Keith, talking pretty seriously. “Plus, I think Robin is gonna help you out. Do you want to look for a movie to watch tonight? That seems fun!” Y/N said trying to get Steve out of this mood.

“I don’t know, I think that I might hold a grudge against them now.”

“Come on Stevie, we can watch a movie…and cuddle…and….” Y/N said leaving her flirtatious message on the table.

“Are you serious?” Steve looked at her as she shook her head slowly and gently, winking at him as they never broke eye contact. The boy stumbled backwards, letting out a harsh breath falling right into the cardboard cutout of Phoebe Cates that was right behind him. He spun around in attempts to catch it, ending up being successful. He looked over to where Robin and Keith were and let out a chuckle while saying, “Oh! Fast Times, Fast Times! Ever heard of it? Top three for me, Keith!”

They all laughed a little bit. Keith said one more thing to Robin before she waved them to follow her as they left. The group piled back into Steve’s car to head back to go back to the Henderson’s.

“Guys, just so you know, you might not want to show a lot of PDA at work.” Robin said from the back seat.

“Oh?” Y/N said turning around to look at her.

“I may have pretended like you guys weren’t dating and claimed that Steve would bring in droves of ladies that he would share with Keith.”

“Robin, did you just hoe out my boyfriend to get him a job?” Y/N asked sarcastically.

“I may have, yes.” Robin said with an upturned smile.

“Hey, at least I got the job.” Steve said before reaching over and grabbing Y/N’s hand.

taglist: @mochminnie @queen1054 @prettysbliss @voidnarnia

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Sunflower - Harry Styles AU Series (Volume 8)

The year is 1977 and it’s officially summertime. Y/N is spending it with her family at the Malibu Breeze Hotel, where she meets, aspiring musician, Harry Styles. The two clash in the beginning, but soon realize they may just need each other in the end. Find out just how life changing one summer can be in Sunflower, a Harry Styles AU.  Here is part 8of Sunflower. Hope you enjoy it! 

Vol. 1 Vol. 2   Vol. 3  Vol. 4 Vol. 5 Vol. 6 Vol. 7 

I stood there, mouth agape, as I watched the random woman press her lips against Harry’s. He quickly pushed her away from him, but it didn’t matter. I needed to get out of there. I had gotten my answer on what I was to Harry and just who he was. I turned on my heel heading out the backdoor not bothering to hear or see what might transpire between those two. I didn’t care.

At least that’s what I kept telling myself. The problem was I did care. I cared a hell of a lot, but I shouldn’t. He never once acted nice to me or acted as if he had feelings for me. Yeah, we shared a kiss, but it’s not like it meant anything. At least, not to him, so it seems. By the time, I made it out to the parking lot of the venue, the air was colder than when I had first arrived.

A rainstorm had blown in, leaving the asphalt dark, wet, and slippery. I had a bit of a long walk back to the hotel and instantly regretted not bringing a sweater. I sighed knowing I better get moving and made my way down the highway.

About a half a mile down the road, I see my first set of headlights shining from behind me. My heartbeat quickened a bit hoping that one, the driver of the car didn’t hit me, and two, they didn’t snatch me off the side of the road either. My last thought triggered my legs to move a little quicker and curse myself for not trying to get a ride with Sarah and Mitch.

I could hear the faint sound of music coming from the oncoming car as they began to slow down. I gulped gripping onto my guitar case, ready to use as a weapon if need be. I highly doubted it would do much of anything, but I’m sure it would buy me some time.

“Y/N!” I heard from inside the car.

I stopped in my tracks, knowing exactly who the voice belonged to.

“I don’t need a ride, Harry,” I told him, not bothering to look in his direction.

“Just get in the fucking car, Y/N,” he said. “You can’t be walking by yourself this late at night.”

“I’m a big girl,” I mumbled.

“Yet, you ran out the door when you saw another chick kiss me instead of confronting me about it?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“It’s not like we’re together. We kissed once. You don’t have to answer to me,” I said, turning to face him. “I left because it’s getting late and I need to get back.”

Technically, that last part was not a lie, but it definitely wasn’t the reason why I left so suddenly. Damn him for knowing.

“Look, you’ve got two options,” he sighed. “Either get in the car and I’ll take you back to the hotel myself or I’m gonna follow you the entire way there.”

Rolling my eyes, I reach over opening the door and getting in. I put my guitar in the backseat and looked out the window. Harry puts the car in park.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Before I take you back, we’re going to talk about what happened,” He said.

“I already told you there’s nothing to talk about,” I shrugged.

“So, that’s it, huh?” He asked. “Our kiss meant nothing? You telling me you had feelings for me, was just what? A lie?”

“Fuck you! Why am I being treated like I did something wrong?” I asked.

“So, you admit it. Her kissing me does bother you,” he said.

“Yeah, it does, but it’s fine really. I get it. You’re not a one woman guy. You fuck around with girls all the time beacuse they throw themselves at you, just like I did,” I said. “But I was stupid because I’m going to fuck you. I’m not that type of girl.”

Harry shook his head, “You’re wrong. I’m not gonna lie and say I haven’t fucked myself around, because I have. But it’s not because I’m not a one woman guy. I want that. I want what Mitch and Sarah have, but for some fucking reason I can’t. Because any chick who has ever liked me, likes me for what they think I can give them or that they can brag they’ve fucked me.”

“Then what was that tonight? Huh?” I asked.

“She’s someone from the past. She means nothing,” he answered.

“And me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I-I don’t know,” he whispered. “I can’t-I can’t explain what I feel when I’m around you.”

A smile tugs at my lips, “I know what you mean.”

“I uh, I know we just met and we haven’t exactly been on the best of terms, but…” he started before placing his hand next to mine. “I want to figure out whatever this is… between us… I mean as long as you want to…”

My heart flutters at his words. I’m not sure what I should say to his statement, there’s probably a million reasons why I should turn it down, but what if there’s a million and one on why I should say yes. Instead of taking the advice of my head, I listen to my heart.

“Okay, let’s do this,” I smiled, placing my hand over his.

**

The next day I woke up with a smile on my face remembering the night before. This was something I noticed I was doing quite a lot lately. Between playing music with the band and spending time with Harry, I was the happiness I had ever been, at least that I can remember.

It had been a while since I spent some time at the pool, so I decided to grab a book and make my way there. Marianne was still sleeping when I left and I’m sure my parents were still doing their own thing. As I made my way down to the pool, someone grabbed my arm, pulling me into a small hallway.

Just as I opened my mouth in protest, I saw green eyes looking into mine.

“What are you doing?” I laughed.

“I’m on break so…” he said innocently.

“So, you thought it was best to pull me into a hallway?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Only so I could do this,” he whispered, taking my face into his hands and pressing a light kiss against my lips.

Smiling into the kiss, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, leaning my body into his. This kiss was definitely a lot more tamed than our kiss just a few hours ago when he dropped me off at the hotel. I could have easily ended up in his backseat, but I could tell he didn’t want to pressure me.

“How long’s your break?” I asked in between kisses.

“I’ve got like two minutes left,” he said, pulling me closer to him. “Which leads me to my question.”

“And that is?” I asked.

“Wanna hang out later?” He asked. “I get off at four. I can run back to my place, change, and meet you around 5?”

“You asking me out on a date, Styles?” I asked, playing with the collar of his shirt.

“Depends… you sayin’ yes?” He asked.

“What about rehearsal?” I asked.

“We’d be back before then,” he said.

“Hm.. I guess I can swing it,” I told him.

He smirked pressing one last kiss, “Far out! I’ll see you then.”

**

Later that afternoon, I got ready for my date with Harry. I had no clue what we were going to do or what a date with Harry actually entailed. I knew Harry wasn’t exactly fancy, so I went with casual. Flared jeans and a cropped ruffle top. I clipped my hair back and put just a bit of makeup on before grabbing my purse and heading down to where Harry told me to meet him.

I only had to wait about five minutes before he pulled up next to me. I smiled hopping into his car, leaning over to kiss him before I even shut the door behind me.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” I blushed.

He smiled turning up the radio and driving away. We drove down the coast in silence nothing but the sound of the radio and the wind blowing through the open windows. But the silence was far from awkward, we were content, just being together. That’s what’s so weird about being with him, as long as I was around him, it didn’t matter what we were doing.

After about a half hour of driving, he pulls over on the side of the road.

“We’re here,” he smiled.

I raised an eyebrow, “And where is here exactly?”

He laughed, “I brought food. I thought we could have a little picnic dinner. I know it isn’t much.. I know it’s not a boat-”

“Hey, it’s perfect,” I smiled squeezing his hand.

He smiled reaching in the backseat for the basket of food before getting out of the car. I smiled following him and jumping onto the hood of the car as we looked out towards the beach.

He hands me a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of coke.

“Thank you,” I smiled, taking off the plastic wrap and taking a bite.

“Oh, I uh… I meant to ask you about this last night, but we had another conversation,” I said. “But I noticed you were talking with a guy after the show last night. You seemed pretty stoked about whatever he had to say.”

“You saw that huh?” He asked. “That’s actually what I was going to talk about during rehearsals tonight.”

“You gonna make me wait me out?” I asked.

“I should,” he laughed.

“Buuut you’re not right?” I smirked

“I can’t exactly say no to you,” he said. “Anyway, he’s a manager at a record label. He said we had potential and he’ll be in touch about bringing in some of his team to hear us at a show in a few weeks.”

“You’re kidding?” I gasped. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“That we have a chance at a real record label, yeah?” He nodded.

“No fucking way,” I smiled. “This is amazing. Wait- why aren’t you more excited about this?”

“Because I don’t want to get my hopes up,” he said. “This is our first real opportunity and it doesn’t feel real.”

I sighed scooting closer to him, “Well, you can be a little excited about it.”

He sighed looking down, “I don’t wanna fail, Y/N. This… making music… It's been my dream since as long as I can remember. I fucking hate working at The Malibu Breeze…but I know if I don’t make it soon, I’ll be stuck there or in some suit for the rest of life. If this doesn’t work-”

I put my hands on his face, making him look at me, “We’re gonna do this. You, me, the band, we’ve got this.”

Harry pressed his lips against mine, bringing me closer to him, as the sun began to set behind us.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

WARNINGS: Cursing. Homophobic comments from Tr*y [his in script use of the fa*ry word once]. Reader fucking SNAPS.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

The five of us rode our bikes down the road to school, El on the back of Mike's bike as usual. She seemed eager to soak in everything around her like she would never see it again. Wind brushed the wig aside and she clung tightly to Mike.

Mike was beginning to slow down, the group of us all growing tired from the ride. Soon enough, however, we were walking through the back doors to the schools. Mike was in the lead as he turns to speak to us as we walked.

"Okay, remember, if anyone sees us, look sad."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

'He is still missing, isn't he?'

My thoughts were interrupted by the crackling of the speaker.

"Attention students, there will be an assembly to honor Will Byers in the gymnasium now. Do not go to fourth period."

I looked to the ceiling at the mention of my best friend and by the time I looked ahead, we had made it outside the AV room. Mike was attempting to open the door but it must be locked.

"It's locked." Mike confirmed.

"What?" Lucas asked.

"Hey, El, is there any way for you to open it?" I ask.

Before she could respond, we all jumped at the voice of Mr. Clarke and froze.

"Children," He nodded.

"Hey." Lucas breathed, obviously startled.

"Assembly's about to start."

"We know. We're just, you know..." Mike works a solemn look on his face as he spoke and the others seemed to join in, including me although it wasn't that difficult.

"Upset." Lucas nodded, dropping his nervous smile.

"Yeah, definitely upset," Dustin muttered.

I opened my mouth to speak, but thought better to say nothing at all and even looked down to the ground. Channeling all my emotions from just hours before.

"We need some alone time."

"To... cry." Dustin hesitated.

"Yeah, listen... I get it. I do. I know how hard this is, but let's just be there for Will, huh? And then," Mr. Clarke reached into his pocket and pulled out a key.

He tossed the key to Mike who caught it upon instinct.

"the Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day. What do you say?"

We all looked to each other, wearing subtle triumphant smirks. It couldn't have been that easy, could it?

Mr. Clarke seemed to finally notice that he had no idea who El was.

"I don't believe we've met. What's your name?"

El seemed shocked and began to say 'Eleven' when Mike panicked and cut in.

"Eleanor! She's my, uh-"

"Cousin!" Lucas jumped in.

"Second cousin," Dustin added.

I started to laugh but caught myself just in time to play it off as a cough. I pretended to clear my throat as I looked to Mr. Clarke who was looking a bit confused.

"She's here for Will's funeral." Mike sighed.

Mr. Clarke seemed content with this answer as he shrugged and turned to her.

"Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor. I wish you were here under better circumstances."

She looked to us and Mike, then turned to Mr. Clarke nodding her head. "Thank you."

A small smile fought its way into my face. She was doing great.

"Uh, where are you from exactly?"

El shook her head, sighing exasperatedly. "Bad place-"

"Sweden!" Dustin cuts in.

"I have a lot of Swedish family."

"She hates it there."

"Cold!"

"Subzero."

Meanwhile, I had fought back another laugh at the whole exchange and I had to play it off as a cough yet again.

"Are you alright, there, Y/n?"

My head snapped up, but luckily I was fairly quick on my feet this time.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I woke up with a fever, haven't been feeling well all morning. But I insisted on coming. For Will." Mr. Clarke seemed satisfied with my answer and dismissed our odd behavior.

"Shall we?"

"Yep!" We all follow Mr. Clarke to the gymnasium in silence.

As we get closer, I can hear the principal speaking from inside.

"At times like these, it is important that we come together as a community. We come-"

Dustin swung open the gymnasium doors far too hard and the loud bang echoed throughout the gym that had drawn the attention of the crowd. I elbow Dustin. I feel him shifting on his feet beside me as panic sets in.

"Abort." He whispers, turning to leave.

Thankfully, Lucas stops him and shoved him forward.

"We come together to heal... we come together to grieve..."

As the principle continues his speech, the five of us wander into the bleachers to find a seat.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Will Byers' death is an unimaginable tragedy. Will was an exceptional student and a wonderful friend to all of us. It's impossible to express the hole his loss will leave in our community. I'd like to introduce you to Sandy Sloane. She's a local grief counselor from the church over in Jonesboro."

While the principal carried on, the five of us all looked to each other, all sharing the same thought.

'We need to get to that radio. And soon.'

"I just want those of you who are having trouble dealing with this tragic loss..."

"Look at these fakers." I heard Mike whisper.

"They probably didn't even know his name till today." Lucas scoffed.

My head whipped to the side when I heard hushed chuckling. I wasn't surprised to see Troy and his friend as the source of the laughter. I glared daggers into them and my hands gripped the edge of my seat until I was sure my knuckles would tear.

The boys and El seemed quick to follow my gaze because soon enough, we were all leaning over glaring at them.

"Who is interested in this? This is so stupid." He laughed.

I grit my teeth as my vision filled with red.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

"Y/n..." Lucas warned, reaching out for my arm. I wasn't paying attention, but for some reason, I felt his hand leave my arm almost as soon as he grabbed it.

"'Oh, he was such a great student. Oh, he's going to leave a hole in the community.'" Troy mocked, beginning to fake sob.

I began to shake with rage, wanting nothing more than to stand up and scream 'fu-'

"Y/n,"

"What?!" I hissed at Lucas, my head whipping around to face him, my jaw clenched.

I saw fear in his eyes as he glanced between my eye line and my hands. I looked down at my own hands to see the dangerously strong grip on the wood. I yanked my hands off the bench and rubbed my hands together, keeping to myself.

I was shocked to see the faintest imprint of the most vaguely shaped hand on the bench. It was hardly noticeable and I had to do a double take.

'What the hell?'

El was leaning over and she met my gaze. She briefly looked at my hands, seeming to dismiss whatever thoughts she had. Then looked to Troy.

"Mouth breather." She whispered.

I let out a strained chuckle and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, mouth breather." I whispered, looking back and Troy.

Eventually, the bell rang, dismissing the assembly. Even though Lucas and Dustin seemed to have let it go, Mike and I were not finished.

"Hey! Hey! Hey Troy." Mike called.

I could tell he could hear us because he barely slowed down but was clearly laughing. I stomped towards him and called him out, loud and clear.

"Hey, jackass!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. He seemed like he wanted to be mad, but almost like he was happy he got a rise out of us.

"You think that shit was funny?" My voice never wavered and the boys and El seemed just as shocked as I was feeling at my newfound courage.

"What'd you say, orphan?" He asked, dumbfounded.

He only called me that when he was really pissed at me.

"You heard me! And how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not an orphan if I was adopted, you dumbass! Now what the hell is in that tiny brain of yours that would compel you to laugh at someone dying, huh? I mean, shit, you must really be sick in the head. I feel sorry for you." I spit out my last few words, my voice dripping with malice.

By now I was in his face, finally letting out all the pent-up aggression I've harbored for years. And it felt good.

"Get the hell outta my face, freak!" He yells shoving me back.

I get ready to strike but Dustin grabs my arm before my fist can collide with Troy's face. I struggle to get free but my brother was determined to hold me back, with the help of Lucas of course.

"Control your 'sibling', Toothless. Or he just might lose a few teeth of his own." He glares at me and I still attempt to break free.

Mike seems to have found his voice as all of this happened because he was the next to speak.

"H-Hey, they're right! Laughing like that? That's a pretty messed up thing to do."

Troy, glares at us as his minion speaks.

"Didn't you listen to the counselor, freaks? Grief shows itself in funny ways."

"You little shit-" I attempt once more to get a right hook in but Lucas stops me.

Troy laughs at me struggling.

"Besides, what's there to be sad about, anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!"

Lucas loosened his grip on me, silently letting me go as Troy began dancing around, mocking Will.

I swung my fist and I felt it collide with his nose with a satisfying crunch. He stumbled back and grasped his nose in surprise, and he pulled his hand away to find a few drops of blood. The crowd that had gathered while all of this unfolded, gasped in surprise. I even earned some scattered cheers among the students.

I seemed to realize the consequences of my actions, but I was prepared to face them. It was worth it. I watched as he stormed towards me, blinded by fury.

"You're dead, freak!" He stomped towards me at a shocking speed and I stumbled back, bracing myself for the inevitable retaliation but it never came.

All I felt was a sudden pair of hands on my right arm, harshly pushing me out of the way. I looked in time to see it was Mike who pushed me out of the way. I gawked in confusion at what happened next.

Troy had just begun to raise his arm as he was only inches from Mike when he froze.

He completely froze in place.

He seemed just as confused, if not more than anyone. That confusion quickly bubbled into fear as his eyes scanned the room as much as he could without moving his head.

It finally dawned on me and I spared a quick glance at El, who was laser-focused on Troy, head tilted down and the smallest hint of blood dripping from her nose. I smirked and looked back to Troy, a smug smile on my face.

I couldn't hold back the laughter as I saw his pants begin to dampen with urine. A stream of it began pooling at his leg, and it even soaked into his socks and shoes. Other students caught on quickly and one boy in particular, began laughing.

"Dude, Troy peed himself!"

The circle of kids erupted into laughter as Troy stood frozen in a puddle of his own pee. I turned to El, who wore a devilish smirk on her face as she glanced between Mike and me. She quickly wiped her nose and started walking away. The boys and I enjoyed this brief moment of bliss.

"Hey! What is going on here?" The principle shouted.

"Come on!" I whisper, gesturing for the boys who all had the same idea. Before people could start asking questions we grouped together and made our way to the AV room unnoticed.