#[before editing it ofc - I felt like a 'real writer; like this could really be a book]

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

First thoughts from just one watch under shitty circumstances with bad internet and worse sound:

RAMBLING FRANK vs RUSSIA THOUGHTS

I was very worried about this episode with how sacred the S5 DENNIS System episode is to us all. Didn't want a Thunder Gun 4 situation on our hands and thankfully they avoided it so hard! I think having the plot with Charlie, Frank, the mums, Uncle Jack and chess really helped out to make it feel more than a direct sequel.

SINNED -> DENNIS -> SINNED -> DENNIS — I'm so impressed with this. How did I, a wholeass Sunny fan, miss this for so long?! Three cheers to whoever came up with that inversion, really! Definitely something that happened in the writer's room and made everyone lose their shit for sure. I wonder who it was, could be Meg or another writer too, given how collaborative they all are!

And can I just say, Dennis the Restaurant Manager... oh how I love you so much! The Waitress is Getting Married is a personal favourite of mine and I wasn't expecting a bit of a redux of that whole situation.

I was so worried about all the "Mac getting a boyfriend and it being Ryan Reynolds" theories and I absolutely wanted none of that. Everyone had speculated it to death and it wouldn't have been fun anymore (not to mention I do not care for RR in my Sunny, I'm sure he's fine, but I don't need his and Rob's PR relationship filtering through into my dickandball show no I don't "find them cute" and I won't elaborate here anymore).

I know we'd guessed that Johnny could've been Dennis catfishing Mac, but it definitely felt like we were doing an Insane Fan Speculation more than anything — and for it to turn out to be correct! And in the best way, because we never could've seen the vibrating anal beads coming!! That's the best kind of "called it but it's still unpredictable".

It really broke my mind, this episode did. And don't even get me started on the Macdennis and queer Dennis of it all! As a longtime believer in Bisexual Dennis, I won so hard! All of us Queer Dennis Truthers won so fucking hard!

[Unpopular Take incoming] This is the first Sunny episode credited to Meg for writing that has felt so wholly "Classic Sunny" and super fuckin hilarious to me. I always appreciated her understanding of the characters and she's always a very solid writer, but this is the first time where I felt myself thinking ok, you she write RCG/Hornsby/Marder-Rosell/Chernins-level of an insane chaotic Sunny episode with multiple belly laughs and not just slightly Community-fied versions of the gang.

The closest her writing has felt like true Sunny to me before this was Dee Day, so I'm glad to see her grow and improve too, and I wonder if the podcast rewatch has helped in that regard! Must also help to have a classic S5 structure to play off in The D.E.N.N.I.S. System! (And ofc writing is collaborative, so well done to RCG and all the writers who pitched ideas and rewrites that ended up shaping this episode!)

I knew Heath Cullens directing meant a good chance of some interesting camerawork (and I've gotta say that even The Gang Inflates had some more dynamic shots than we've been getting in some of the later years and it's got to be the Cullens directing), but I wasn't expecting a whole visual callback to Being Frank! Loved it.

And the editing! The DENNIS System has always been great for cutaway gags and fun little inserts, so I loved seeing that carried out here with the cuts to Mac and Dee fucking up their dates and then finally pulling out the Magic Tissue of Mummy Issues (oh the potential for meta especially with the twins!). The pacing was so good!

Sunny pacing needs to feel like Mac crashing Dee's car into a wall while we are all Charlie watching it in real time and screaming when it's over.

Random strings of words because I'm too excited to be coherent:

Glenn's acting. His faces. His eyes. His range in this episode. Glacting. Juilliard. All the hits. All the big ones.

Mac and Dennis have canonically had sex in two different ways now, and yes, I'm including their sex tape/porn viewing sessions where they both masturbate together

Did Dennis pull out Mac's anal beads when he was asleep?

Vibrating fucking anal beads what the ACTUAL FUCK!

How many people did the gang drug again?

Danny DeVito with a vibrating asshole comedy acting 12/10 he's an international treasure for a reason

Dee stealing people's phones she's so stupid and bad at men. Never change Dee.

Uncle Jack though, pls change plz, I'm an IASIP loving degenerate so I laughed in horror at his creepiness ofc as I have since 1x7 but fucking hell man, can he be in his jail era already! Poor Charlie!

Hey, Charlie's got new America's just as we were promised on the pod

Oh I should make a post about everything we saw in this episode and that episode of the pod where they gave us all those hints, especially Meg talking about struggling with this cold open — added to the never-ending list of drafts and posts that will hopefully one day make it onto the blog yeah I'm lying to myself now

Parental issues everywhere this season, especially with the mums. Reynolds kids, I can't wait to lovingly put you under my microscope. Once I've rewatched this episode with good sound.

Also just in general, the SINNED system just says SO much about our babygirl's psychology, does it not? Why did so much of it sound like self-insert speeches, like he's been doing this to Mac or smt? Don't even talk to me about The Gang Chokes!

What does r/iasip have to say about— no, I'm in my happy place, I'm not even gonna go there.

Mrs Mac and Mrs Kelly watching TV together like that, they really are lesbian life partners.

Dennis blue shirt with top-stick between those buttons, my beloved. I am looking, respectfully.

And can we talk about the "opening the ketchup bottle" scene? We have to take about that scene! Dennis... he's ruining me... need to gnaw on him and suck on his fingers wait I'm browning out...

Sidenote: I love whenever the show references news stories which were super fucking big at a very specific time in a very specific niche, especially with my whole family being so chess-obsessed. The cheating scandals and anal bead… never thought I'd see a Sunny crossover but can't say I'm not loving the shit out of it!

[murdrdocs]

can we pls hear your season 3 thoughts 🫶

yes yes yes ofc. spoilers below!!

in general: i feel like s3 was as filler season that showed carmy's regression (in a way) as a chef and a person. if it weren't for luca and richie i probably would've tapped out after ep 6. i also think it was very beautiful and has a few episodes that i'll definitely be rewatching (ep1, ep5, ep6, ep8)

plot wise i thought this season felt a lot slower than the first two. i feel like this season was a bit of a filler season, and felt v much similar to limbo in a way. we had a major thing happen in the first season, a major thing happen in the second, and then this season was just kind of there. but i both like and dislike that. i think if any other show released s3 then it would really weaken the overall run but i dont think s3 of the bear was weak i just thought it was slow.

i think it was very artistically beautiful, especially ep 1. i really liked that episode ive never rlly seen an episode of a show like that before. i liked the more peaceful look into carmy's training (copenhagen carmy!!! and when he was w that one chef and he wore the hat :(( so sweet).

character wise specifically carmy, oh i was fuming. hes so childish once again, he's so stubborn, but i adored how the end was able to show carmy that he wasn't becoming a good person he was just becoming jeff (winger ... i never call the old chef by his real name i always call him jeff bc joel plays jeff in community. i think the chef's name is david).

im praying that sydney stays w the bear bc she could make a difference w adam and it would definitely be easier, but i dont think it would be as rewarding if she didn't do it w everyone at the bear.

no complaints abt the writing. i always believe the writers know what they're doing so i generally have no complaints.

i also cried a bit during ep10. im thinking abt getting an every second counts tattoo. i need to live a happy domestic like w luca in copenhagen or wherever he wants to go.

edit actually:

im back bc ... no what was that ??? like it was shot very nice yeah but there was no development on carmy at all. if there was development it's not gonna happen until after the fuck ass to be continued. im still stuck on carmy and claire because ... claire rlly fucked shit up. i get why claire was added but .. why like why was her character needed in s2?? there just wasn't much development on anyone like at all. marcus' mom died and we barely got marcus scenes. we should've spent more time w him. i liked the sug episode but it was kinda boring im ngl. sydney my beloved could never do anything wrong but atp w the way things r going i want her to go w adam like carmy is dragging everyone else down w him. talking abt perfection and nonnegotiables. anyway idk at the end of the day im just a viewer so ... nothing we can do but wait another year

[wide-eyedscottishlass]

Scarlett and the Professor - a lazy Sunday morn

[continued from]

moodboard by @strangelock221b​ 💙  

Scarlett flipped onto her side, instinctively turning away from the sunlight filtering through her closed lids. The silk sheets cocooning her were slick and cool, but the sun had warmed her face enough to awaken her senses. In moments more, she breathed deeply--taking in the heady scent of all that sex, that astonishing, wicked, glorious sex--and gave out a purr of satisfaction. She was smiling before she even opened her eyes, remembering herself--happy and sappy and deeply in love.

“Ah, at last,” he chuckled; she heard not only his genuine amusement, but the crinkle and flip of some large pieces of paper. Newsprint? A newspaper than. Scarlett smiled into her pillow; of course he would prefer paper over the digital version. True hedonist that he was, Hennessy would always opt for the most tactile sensations.

“There’s my little sleepyhead,” he added with true affection, so that she popped one eye open and then the other. Hennessy sat up against the headboard, a couple of pillows propped behind him, bare to the waist. His long legs stretched out before him, covered in a pair of dark grey, silk pajama bottoms, and his feet were also bare. Scarlett sighed softly; when even his feet appeared to her as sexy, it must certainly mean there was no saving her from the beautiful fall she was taking.

She reached up to check the tangle of her hair, blinking at the strong sunlight filling the room. “Mmmmm...why didn’t you wake me?”

He flicked the top of his newspaper down to the crease, favoring her above his reading glasses with indulgent mirth. “My darling Scarlett, you needed your rest, of course. My fault too, as you were rather spent by the time I finally let you sleep uninterrupted.” His grin was smug, yet still she saw his genuine fondness for her, weakening her heart all over again.

“I’m not spent now,” she urged him, shimmying close enough to lay her hand on his bicep.

He pursed his lips, his eyes widening, “Well, haven’t you learned your lessons well! And now looking for extra credit...”

Scarlett batted her lashes and replied breathily, “Extra, extra...Hennessy.” She had already come to love how he looked when she dared call him by name.

His mouth dropped open as if to respond, but he was interrupted by the loud buzz of a text alert on his mobile. “Hold that thought, little lamb,” he commanded, “And I promise to give you all the attention you so deserve.” Hennessy took a perfunctory look at his phone, them jumped up from the bed, taking giant strides to the door. He turned back her way, eyeing her as though he saw right through the sheets, while his smile grew salacious. “Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm! You could almost make a man forgo his other hungers, Scarlett. But we don’t want out breakfast growing cold now, do we?” He dashed from the room.

Perplexed and a bit stymied--god, how perfectly divine he’d looked framed in the doorway, all firm, warm flesh, so srtong and long and lanky, that all she wanted was to mold her body to his as she lay beneath him--Scarlett turned onto her back and gave a long, languorous stretch, waiting upon his return. She heard his heavy front doors close and then imagined him taking two steps at a time back up to his bedroom suite. The mouthwatering scents of fresh pancakes and bacon preceded him into the room.

“Voila! Here’s my version of breakfast in bed.” Hennessy seemed very pleased with himself and with surprising her, crossing to the bed and setting down two plastic sacks filled with cardboard containers. He put a smaller paper bag on his bedside table, which turned out to hold coffee and orange juice.

Scarlett’s stomach had begun to rumble the moment the aromas reminded her that she hadn’t eaten anything in over twelve hours. She scooted up against the headboard, keeping the sheet decorously across her breasts, while Hennessy took his place beside her and began to dole out their meal. “There’s bacon and sausage, darling. Wasn’t sure you had a preference, but there’s more than enough of both.” There was plenty of syrup and butter, too, and a container of sliced and sugared strawberries, along with whipped cream, to top the pancakes. And a heaping serving of cheese-topped scrambled eggs.

She tucked in with relish, and Hennessy laughed good-naturedly at the evidence of her hunger, the smile lines beside his pale blue eyes (Scarlett sighed inwardly; they always look so astonishingly pale in strong sunlight!) grown dearer than ever to her heart. Since the moment that he’d taken her in full, she’d already stopped herself from saying that she loved him a half dozen times--and he was making it very hard for her to continue to suppress that urge.

“What?” He asked, around a forkful of pancakes and eggs. He must’ve have seen a flicker of that thought cross her face.

“Oh...ah...nothing...really,” she fibbed, lowering her eyes so he wouldn’t read more, “I’d been hoping to make some scones this morning---but this...this is so much better...”

“It is, isn’t it!” He hummed a jaunty tune as he set himself a second serving of everything. “But please don’t be too disappointed about your scones, love. The morning paper and breakfast takeaway in bed is a Sunday ritual I will never go without, come hell or high water.”

“Of course...” The danger of him guessing how soft she was for him seemed to have passed for the moment.

“But if it would make you happy, we can have them with tea this afternoon. Or failing that, another breakfast morning. Would that work for you?”

“Oh, yes,” she nodded, happier at the implication that there were further breakfasts together in their future, than for the promise of the scones themselves. “Whatever you want...darling.” His smile was pure sunshine as he leaned in and kissed her mouth, before returning to his meal.

After they broke their fast, he had her in the shower, amid a thick wall of steam created by the dual showerheads--taking her with such a stunning ferocity that he left her filled with speechless bliss, and legs shaking so badly that she had to lean on him for several minutes until she felt strong enough to support herself. Though he was both amused---his low rumbles of laughter at her very flattering reaction had echoed all around them---and highly satisfied, he also became the soft, solicitous lover in the aftermath, smoothing gentle hands upon her wet hair and scattering loving kisses on her face, murmuring endearments against her skin.

’My darling...my angel...my lovely, little lamb. My sweet, sweet Scarlett...’ Spurring her to ask herself: how can he see to my needs this way and still not know he owns my heart?

Why, he’d even stepped from the shower first--telling her to just hold on a tic--grabbing a thick, thirsty towel to swaddle her in before he wrapped one around himself, and then had guided her to sit on the padded vanity stool next to the long bathroom counter. Never having observed a grown man in his morning ablutions, Scarlett found herself fascinated watching him run gel through his thick, dark hair, trying to get it to behave as he preferred, and then lather up and shave. Shaving with meticulous care, the quiet scrape of the razor against his skin reminding her that this was all very real. That this complicated, brilliant, perpetual temptation of a man had welcomed her not only into his bed, but into the privacy of his home and the rhythm of his life. 

The air was soon rich with his scent--Bleu de Chanel--as he applied a generous dose of aftershave. When he grabbed his toothbrush, he turned to her with a grin, “I’m almost all set, love. Then you can have the room to yourself to do...whatever it is you do to keep yourself looking so...hmmm...scrumptious.”

Scarlett nodded, though she would have been just as content to simply watch her magnificent lover--her private Hennessy--in the domain which reflected exactly who he was, going about even his most ordinary tasks. Her heart was so entranced now that she wanted to memorize his every detail. 

He gave her another toothy grin, then strode over to deposit his towel in the hamper, casually revealing the full glory of the form she had come to worship. He flashed her a wink when he caught her staring-- she just couldn’t help herself, and odds were he knew that. “You might want to suit up, darling. It looks to be the perfect day for a swim.” Then he was out the door, leaving Scarlett to daydream her way through her own morning toilette, wondering what new lessons Hennessy might have in store for her. Eager to learn--and even more eager to please.

               ____________________________________________

Scarlett had plaited her damp hair into a Dutch braid, draped across her shoulder, hoping to keep her hair tidy if they did end up taking a swim. She slipped into a modest tankini with her denim capris over that, and then grabbed her rucksack before she headed downstairs. If Hennessy was busy--she’d noted he had taken his newspaper to wherever he’d gone off to--she had a bit of actual course work to do. Sketches for a study of the natural world, prep for an end of term project--a large, landscape painting in the artist’s choice of medium, along with a portfolio of drawings and any other work she did towards the completion of the final piece. She’d found the seeds of inspiration in Hennessy’s wild-grown garden, as well as in his serene shingle of private beach, and she was keen to make a start. 

She found him with his paper beneath the patio umbrella, with an iced pitcher of lemonade, one empty glass and one half-full, upon the wrought iron table. As he had advised her, he was clad in swim trunks and a matching, athletic fit surf tee. In blues and sea greens of course, the hues that not only dominated his casual color palette, but flattered him perfectly. 

Scarlett set her bag on one of the spare chairs, poured herself some lemonade and then topped off Hennessy’s glass. He thanked her before turning his attention back to the crossword puzzle he was working on. “You do them in pen?” she observed.

“Is there any other way?” he had narrowed his eyes while he was trying to work out a clue, rhythmically tapping his ball point pen on the glass table top. “Six letter word ending in k-a...an exclamation...hmmmmm...” 

She couldn’t resist chiming in, ‘eureka’ just as she began to set out her supplies, then pulled her sketchpad from her rucksack. 

“Eureka, indeed,” he chuckled, glancing over to watch her preparations. “And what’s this, little lambkin? Another hidden talent?” 

“Depends on what you would consider talent, Professor,” she stated modestly, “I draw a little, I paint a little. Always looking to improve.” She opened up to the middle of her sketchpad, several pages past the drawing she had indulged in the previous afternoon, meaning to avoid him catching sight of it. 

“And what sort of things give you inspiration, my dear? People, places...things, mayhap?” Hennessy’s curiosity had been piqued, and he was craning his neck to get at least a little peek. 

”Well, yes, of course,” she teased innocently, not ready to volunteer a thing, while setting the edge of her pencil onto the rough surface of the blank page. There was the scrape of chair legs dragged across the calypso coral stone beneath their feet as he drew nearer, and soon he’d made it impossible for her not to acknowledge that he was leaning in close, laying his hand on the back of her neck, toying with the few stray hairs that had escaped her braid. Scarlett turned her head slightly, just enough to see Hennessy from the corner of her eye, catching enough of him to recognize the mischievous glint in his. “What,” she asked quietly, realizing that she would accomplish nothing until she had at least humored him.

“Just curious, darling.” He ran a single finger across her bare shoulder and down her arm, a sure and pleasant distraction, softening her resolve. “I think you’d like to show me your work. Wouldn’t you, Scarlett?”

“I suppose,” she replied with a sigh, though she remained uneasy about how he would react to the liberty she had taken, of sketching him. 

“Always my good girl.” He brushed a quiet kiss upon her cheek and then rested his hand on the center of her back, waiting patiently as she flipped back to the opening page. 

“Some of these are incomplete,” she noted, “Mostly just for practice, or because I haven’t decided yet what other elements should be part of the composition.” Scarlett could feel his eyes study the page she had revealed, a very flawed study of the little cottage of her youth. “And of course, there’s a lot of trials and error.” 

“That’s home,” he observed, sounding more fascinated than such a simple thing usually allowed for. 

“Uh-huh.” Encouraged by that sign of his sincere interest, she turned a few pages more, where her work depicted rustic exteriors of her native Scotland, and several sketches of the village-side inlet that she would forever think of as her own. Next came several studies of a sunny, seaside bay, ringed to the beach’s edge with one and two story buildings set very close together. To the last of these, she’d chalked in traces of color--vivid blue for the water, pale pastels on random buildings--and had treated the sketch with a fixative to keep the chalk from rubbing off.

“These are lovely, Scarlett,” he exclaimed, absentmindedly massaging the stretch of skin between her shoulder blades. His touch felt blessedly cool on her sun warmed flesh.

“You needn’t sound so surprised, Professor,” she replied coyly, so that he chuckled and laid a kiss on her shoulder.

“I’m not, darling. Truly, I’m not.” He drew a deep breath, then added, “Though I’m curious about where these are from.”

Scarlett paused a moment, recalling those endless, sunny days and balmy, starlit nights. “They’re from my time in Mykonos, at the end of my gap year.”

“Clearly, you found the place enchanting, my dear. Why, it nearly leaps off the page!”

She watched his profile as he leaned in for a closer look. “Do you really think so?” How happy it made her to see his enthusiastic response!

“Absolutely,” he assured her, giving a low whistle of appreciation, “And if I had to guess, I’d say that you were at least a little bit in love with the place.”

“I...I was...” she breathed softly. And with a beautiful young man there. My dear Benedicktos.

Inevitably, the next series of sketches raised Hennessy’s curiosity even further. “And who’s this?” Scarlett heard a trace of judginess creep into his voice.

“Oh...um...an artist I met while I was there...” Artist, sculptor--and if only our stars had aligned properly, he would have been my first. My first lover.

“I see...” And surely Hennessy could see her true feelings for her Bene, pictured in the loving way she had drawn his lines and angles. One page was filled with thumbnail sketches of just his face in profile. She had worked a couple of those into larger versions, and chalked color onto them as well. They showed a thick, unruly crown of dark, windswept curls. Smooth, well tanned skin and a sensuous looking mouth. And eyes of pure sea green.

“I think you were at least a little bit in love with this boy, too,” he observed quietly, and he gave her a beat to respond, though she could not for the lump in her throat. “Weren’t you, Scarlett?”

She took a deep breath, gathering her composure as well as her wits; she would not share that golden time with Hennessy. Not yet, anyway. “I suppose I was, at least a little bit...but then, it’s easy to fall in love in a place like that...”

“I suppose it is, little lamb. And lucky boy he must’ve been.” To her wonder, his smile felt a little false. He couldn’t possibly be jealous, she told herself; doesn’t he realize I’m his completely? 

She tried to turn rapidly over the following pages, but Hennessy stayed her hand, determined to see the full story. Scarlett had draw Benedicktos sitting shirtless and cross-legged at the water’s edge. Standing and gazing out at sea, watching the sun set. Smiling vibrantly, cheeks creased with rows of dimples, while he appeared to be laughing. The last sketch showed him shirtless again, his smile softer but no less dazzling, as he stood in the prow of a fishing boat, a tall line of verdant cliff tops in the distance, the blue of the sky just a little lighter than that of the Mediterranean. 

Her teacher had gone silent as she flipped past the last page in that series and put the pad down. “Hennessy?” She placed her hand on his, where it rested on the table. “That was years ago. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime--once I got home, my mother fell ill for some time, and...and we fell out of touch right away.” He nodded and smiled, but she felt she needed to offer more. “That’s how holiday romances go, right? Golden but fleeting...” And now my heart belongs to you. Forever, by the feel of it. 

“Yes,” he nodded again, and she wondered if he caught the flavor of that thought, for he raised her hand to brush his lips against her fingers. He studied her face a moment, and his sunshine smile returned. “But I want to see them all, darling. You do have quite a talent.” 

And so they continued. Hennessy laughed genially at her studies of her little black kitten, Chaucer, ranging across her book shelves, warming himself on her laptop keyboard, and curled into a fluffy little ball upon her bed pillow. “I swear, he really did all those things,” she confided, glowing a little in the face of her lover’s generous regard, “It’s like he owns the place now, and I’m just the guest.” 

Hennessy clucked his tongue. “Bosh. We’ll see who runs the place when I come to visit. My will is certainly far stronger than his.” 

A little thunderstruck, she asked him breathlessly, “You’d come to see me at my flat?” 

“I don’t see why not,” he grinned, and then seeing what it meant to her, he issued a hasty disclaimer. “Of course, that’s no promise it’ll be any time soon, my dear. Timetable to be determined.” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Scarlett nodded, doing her best not to seem disappointed. It was too much, too soon to have expected, anyway. 

At last they arrived at the sketch, the one over which her anxiety had been gradually growing. The moment of truth. She averted her eyes at his sound of surprise, as he stood up and took the pad right out of her hand, to finally exclaim, “Well, I’ll be damned!” In the brief silence that followed, she could hear the thump of her own heart, hoping against hope that he had meant that in a good way. “Scarlett...darling...when did you do this?” 

She finally raised her eyes, to find such an open, soft expression on his features that her heart just about skipped a beat. “Yesterday. After I...left you in the study...”

Hennessy crooked his trademark, honest half-smile her way. “This...this is really good, my dear. And I have to say...quite...flattering.” 

Scarlett was memorizing the look of genuine wonder in those eyes that had the power to command her and cajole her. Frighten her for breathless moments, and just as effortlessly mesmerize her. Fancying that someday soon she’d capture the chameleon beauty of those eyes in this particular moment, in charcoal and in chalk, so to frame them and keep them well beyond the days when his interest in her finally waned. “I just drew the truth, my jo,” she shrugged, “Exactly as I saw it.” 

His mouth hung open as he reached to brush back some strands of hair that had fallen across her forehead, then stroked his thumb across her cheek. “You have a true artist’s eye, love.” His voice was the velvet caress she had come to crave. “And your romantic nature shines through in...all of these pieces. I am both flattered and honored by this...gentle version of me. By the beauty you’ve rendered to even my most...jarring...defects.” 

She bit her lip, and could only bow her head in thanks, else her voice might break with the tenderness he stirred her to. Jarring defects. His mysterious scars. How she ached to know their origin, and to give him comfort for whatever pain he’d suffered from them--though she knew she could not, should not, ask. But at least she knew she’d touched his heart in their regard, and that would have to be enough for now. 

Still tracing her cheek, Hennessy moved into a crouch beside her. The heat had brought a ruddiness to his face and the bright sunlight allowed her to study the soft smattering of freckles across his skin. Scarlett had a moment to think about how very much she’d like to capture this look on him, deciding that her Prismacolors colored pencils might be best, before he moved in close enough for kissing. “Would it be too vain of me to say that sketch is my favorite, darling?” 

“No. Not at all,” she breathed, contemplating how she might express on paper, the perfection of his cupid’s bow, the temptation of his tender lower lip. Even unto the wee scar that couldn’t mar it’s beauty, and which she had already tasted countless times, and hoped to taste countless more.

“Perhaps someday you’ll sketch me with the passion you expended on your Greek boy.” He was teasing her, of course; he had to be. He couldn’t know she was thinking exactly that. “In fact, I would enjoy that very much, Scarlett. To have you ply your...talent...on me.” 

Hennessy’s breath was on her lips now, the promise of his kiss achingly close. She shut her eyes, panting in anticipation. “Yes...on me, sweet Scarlett. On me, and me alone.” She whimpered beneath the searing power of his kiss, as though by accepting it, she’d made some sort of Faustian bargain--and thus he had claimed yet another piece of her soul. 

          _________________________________________________

tagging: @strangelock221b​  @ben-locked​  @ben-c-group-therapy​  @thelostsmiles​  @splunge4me2art​  @humanbornarchangel​  @tsukuyomi011​  @ravencatart​  @doctor-stephenstrange​  @letterstosherlock​  @emilyinnj4real​  @aeterna-auroral-avenger​  @frowerssx2​  @groovyfluxie​  @candie-girl22 

(And yes, my friends, I promise there will be watery fun to come in the next installment *grinning wickedly*.)

[elocinnicole]

Hi I was the anon that sent in the ask for ‘Confessions’ and it was so good!😭✨ I loved the angst and feel for both the reader and yes, even Daveed a little🙄 lol. If it’s not to much to ask, would it be possible to request a part 2? Maybe Rafa feeling guilty for running his big mouth and possibly ruining on the greatest things to happen to his best friend. I could see him being guilty but also sick of seeing Daveed camping on his couch in sadness and he know he has to help his friend win his girl back✨💗 no pressure or anything you’re literally one of my favorite writers on here and I love you work and for keeping the Daveed thirst fandom alive!

Confessions Part Two

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x OFC!Black Reader (Kenya Wright), Rafael Casal x OFC!Black!Reader (Kenya Wright) 👀👀

Rating: M for language, smut (oral m receiving, unprotected sex, drunk/intoxicated sex) alcohol and drug use 18+ MINORS DNI

Summary: It’s been a month since Daveed and Kenya ended things, feeling guilty for having a part in the breakup, Rafael tries to get his friends back together.

Requested: Yes, by Anon

Word Count: 4K

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

AN: Anon I’m so happy you enjoyed the first part!! A very, very tiny piece of me felt bad for Daveed but then again he did old girl hella dirty. I gave the Reader a name and I’ll be editing the other part with her name. I hope you enjoy this second part.

Confessions Pt. One

December 2022

“Coming up next on Lifetime it’s a Liddell Christmas Movie Marathon! First up is Merry Liddell Christmas, then Merry Liddell Christmas Wedding, and lastly Merry Liddell Christmas Baby—“ Kenya shut off the TV she was not in the Holiday spirit this year. She didn’t even put her decorations not that she had a lot of decorations in the first place, but she would put up something to make the house look a bit more festive. After what happened on Friendsgiving, she didn’t want to celebrate anything. Daveed had been calling and texting her that next day it took her a week to block him. Kenya didn’t want to hear anything he had to say, she heard what she needed to hear. Even though it pained her, she had to cut him off, even as far as having Rafael pick up Daveed's things from her place, she was mad at him too because he knew everything. That day when he came by the house to get his friend’s things, Kenya had all of this stuff neatly placed in a bag by the front door and she even asked for the key back

Kenya glanced at the clock on her dresser and saw that it was almost 10:00 she had to show a client a home in Calabasas at 1:00 she whined in irritation before dragging herself out of bed. Kenya was in her closet trying to figure out what to wear when her pine started to ring, she blindly answered the phone continuing to try on different outfits.

“Kenya Wright of The Wright Home Real Estate, how may I help you today?”

“Look at you sounding professional and shit, what house can you find me for $300,000 in LA?” Her best friend, Keyari's voice said over the speaker

“I can find you a box on the side of the road, what do you want Key?”

“I wanted to see if you wanted to have dinner tonight because you walking around like someone took your lunch money.”

“I mean can you blame me?”

“No, not really. They lucky I wasn’t there I would’ve swung on a bitch.”

“I know Key, I know.”

“How are you though?”

“Ehh, it’s day by day, to be honest, sometimes I’m good and barely think about him and then most days I can’t get him out of my mind.”

“You know I’m still down for slashing some tires.”

“Keyari, we can’t slash niggas tires.” Kenya laughed

“We can if we want to, but should we? That’s where it gets murky.”

“Ain’t nothing murky about it, we can’t do that shit.”

“Not if you only slash three tires,”

“Key!”

“Alright, are you coming with me to dinner or not?”

“Yes, what time?”

“7:30 at that new oyster place. I can come by and we’ll ride together.”

“Sounds good Key!”

“Okay sis, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay Key, bye.”

Daveed wasn’t doing much better, he’s been sleeping on Rafa’s couch since Kenya kicked him out. Sulking around LA and it was driving Rafa crazy. Rafa felt like shit, if he hadn’t opened his big mouth in the first place Daveed and Kenya would still be together, Daveed was the happiest he’s ever been when he was with Kenya and now he's back to where he was before he met her.

Daveed kept replaying the look on Kenya’s face that night, she looked so hurt and broken and he was the cause of that. He had a small silver lining of hope but all of that faded away when Kenya texted Rafa to pick up Daveed’s things. He couldn’t describe the feeling when he saw Rafa return with a suitcase of his belongings. What really hurt Daveed the most was that he wasn’t even mad at her, he knew what he did was wrong.

For about a month Daveed wallowed in his self-pity, refusing to shower or even eat most days. He even stopped making new music which is something that he never does. Rafa had enough of it, he was only doing this for Daveed’s own good. Rafa creaked open his bedroom door, from his room he could see right into the living room and Daveed was still sleeping…at noon. He burst out of his bedroom making the most obnoxious noise he could, startling his friend awake.

“Diggs, come on man you gotta get up, change your clothes, take a shower. I mean, even Mia don’t want to be around you.” Rafa said Daveed glanced down at the dog who probably smelled better than Daveed does right now

“Bruh, I don’t feel like it. What’s the point? I lost Kenya and I don’t think I can get her back and I would’ve blamed her if she didn’t.”

“Okay, this self-pity shit ain’t working. I’m going out to run some errands you’re on dog duty.”

“You can’t take her?”

“No, so take a shower and take Mia out for a walk, you both need it.” Rafa grabbed his keys left the house leaving Daveed and Mia

“So, I guess it’s just you and me. Maybe we can walk around the backyard,” Daveed suggested Mia growled lowly

“Fine, we’re going to the park.”

Daveed walked around the park Mia leading him wherever she wanted to go. It was a beautiful day but Daveed couldn’t even pay attention to that his mind was preoccupied with something else. Maybe he should try calling her would she even answer the phone, shut probably blocked him by now. Mia abruptly stopped walking and sniffed the air before taking off. Daveed wasn’t paying attention and the leash slipped out of his hand.

“Mia!” Daveed called out as he chased after the dog

“Here’s your change ma’am.” The man said

“No it’s fine, keep the change.” Kenya insisted

“Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day.” Kenya smiled back at the man before walking away with her Italian ice. She’s not sure what prompted her to come to this particular park, she used to meet Daveed here if they both had a break in their day and meet for lunch or just a quick walk around the park. Kenya shook the thoughts from her head, that was before everything went down last month, she can’t keep doing this to herself. She’ll take steps toward moving on then she’ll think back to when she and Daveed were together. She heard a dog barking and her head snapped up, that sounded like Mia. She whipped her body and saw the dog running up to her.

“Mia? What are you doing here girl?” Kenya greeted the dog who was just as excited to see her, tail wagging frantically

“Mia! There you are!” Kenya looked up and saw Daveed standing in front of her. He froze when their eyes met for the first time in a month. He cleared his throat before grabbing hold of the leash.

“Sorry about that, come on Mia.” The dog whined not wanting to leave

“It’s fine, she just misses me,” She said softly, still playing with Mia. “Isn’t that right Mia? I missed you too.” Kenya continued playing with the dog, Daveed looked and couldn’t help but smile, god what he wouldn’t do to see her smile and laugh again. That was probably his favorite thing about her, her smile, it could light up the entire room.

“Well, I better get her back to feed her you know,” Daveed mumbled under his breath.

“Daveed,” Kenya called out. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it immediately. She doesn’t know what to say, she can’t ask how has he been, she can clearly that he’s not okay, his beard was a bit more full than it was last month. His hair wasn’t done like it usually is, it’s like he stopped caring. Then again, why should she say anything at all? It wasn’t what was said that ruined

“Can I ask you a question?” He nodded his head for her to go on “Was any of it real?” Daveed sighed heavily

“Yes, Kenya. It was so real for me, I-I-I wish it never happened, all of it.” Daveed reached out to her but she backed away

“This isn’t something that can be wished away, I trusted you. You were my family, my home.”

“Kenya, I’m so sorry you didn’t deserve this at all. I should’ve been honest with you from the beginning—” Kenya put her hand up to stop him

“Don’t say what you couldn’t a month ago. Daveed, I—” Kenya looked away because she looked at him any longer should start crying and she didn’t want to give him that or anything for that matter. “There’s nothing else that can be said, Daveed.”

“So, I guess this is it?”

“Yep, take care of yourself Daveed.”

“You too, Kenya.” Daveed watched sadly as the best thing that ever happened to him walked out of his life forever. That’s when he heard a low rumbling of thunder and an idea came to him“Ken! Do you want a ride? I don’t mind taking you,” Kenya looked up at the sky and saw the dark clouds coming in fast, she would be drenched before she even made it back to her job.

“Sure,”

What started as an ‘innocent’ car ride, led to Kenya telling Daveed he left something else at her house which lead to a couple of bottles of wine being consumed and ultimately led to their current predicament. Kenya moaned aloud as Daveed bounced her up and down in his lap on her living room sofa. One thing led to another and here they were. Kenya would be lying if she said she didn’t miss the sex. Kenya snapped her head up when Daveed stopped moving, he place his hands behind his head giving her a smirk.

“Ride,” he commanded. Kenya placed her hands on his shoulders as leverage as she slowly rode him since he wanted to play dirty she had something for his ass. Daveed let out a chorus of moans he reached up and played with her nipples causing her to cry out.

“Fuck Daveed! ‘M close,” She breathed out she began to bounce a bit faster and harder

“Me too,” Daveed took control again by grabbing her thighs and thrusting his hips up chasing his own release at this point. Two, three more thrusts, and both of them groaned reaching their peak, Kenya slumped against Daveed’s bare chest, trying to regain her breath. She carefully got off his lap and started to put her clothes back on. Daveed lingered a bit before he too started to get dressed.

“You should probably head out, Keyari’s coming over soon,” Kenya said absentmindedly

“Hold up, hold up, hold up, that’s it? We not gonna talk or try to figure anything out?”

“Figure what out?” Kenya questioned

“This, us. Kenya, I—I want to be with you.”

“Daveed, I can’t, I can’t look at you the same. When I look in your eyes I keep thinking about the lie that would’ve kept going if I hadn’t found out.”

“So you can fuck me but don’t want to be with me?” Daveed asked accusingly

“Don’t do that! You don’t get to do that to me not after what that bullshit you pulled.”

“You ain’t even fight for us! You asked me if I cared about you? Was I just some meal ticket to you?” Kenya frowned

“Nigga I know you fuckin lying, you really wanna go there Daveed?”

“When we met you just passed your real estate exam. Most of the clients you have are because of me! Shit those clients helped pay for this house!”

“That you lived in nigga! What the fuck are you trying to say?”

“I’m just saying, now that you got some money it wasn’t that hard to let go of the relationship. You didn’t need me anymore.”

“Get the fuck out Daveed!”

“Gladly,” Daveed grabbed his keys and stormed out of the house slamming the door shut behind him. Kenya scoffed in disbelief, she couldn’t believe him. A bark pulled her out of his thoughts, damn it Daveed fucking forgot Mia.

“God damn it,” she muttered under her breath. She opened her back door and she ran inside searching for Daveed. Loud knocks at your door made you roll your eyes. She stomped to the door and opened it, not surprised to see Daveed on the other side.

“You forgot something,”

“You said that before you want me to fuck you again?”

“Get the damn dog and go Daveed.”

“Mia!” The dog ran to Daveed and Kenya slammed the door shut

Kenya placed the phone down on her nightstand and downed the rest of her glass of wine. She wasn’t in the mood to go out with Keyari. She knew it wasn’t a good idea to invite Daveed but she—she wanted to be with him just one last time, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss him. She thought about him all the time, but she just can’t forgive him. Every time he would look at her she would think back to that night. This is what she gets for being vulnerable she took a chance when she met Daveed and look where it led her. Now that she thinks of it, fucked Daveed, he doesn’t care about her the way she thought he did. She’s done being sad, she not gonna give him that satisfaction. He doesn’t deserve it.

Rafa opened the door and sighed heavily seeing that all the lights were off. Damn. Maybe his plan didn’t work out after all. He turned on the light expecting to see Daveed on the couch but raised an eyebrow upon seeing the empty space. Now that he thinks of it, it’s a bit too quiet in his house.

“Diggs? Bro, you here?” Mia ran over to Rafael happy to see him after the long day, tail wagging, barking excitedly.

“Where’s Daveed, Mia? Huh, where’d he go?” Rafa walked further into the house and saw a note on the counter in his kitchen

Went to my Mom’s.

Thanks for letting me crash.

-Diggs

Rafael sighed heavily, he pulled out his phone and called Daveed, he was sent straight to voicemail, Rafa called him again, and just like the first time he was sent straight then he received a text from Daveed

I’m good bruh. Don’t feel like talking. Talk later

Rafa grabbed his car keys and raced out of the house he had to fix this somehow.

“I don’t know, only God knows where the story ends for me But I know where the story begins. It’s up to us to choose whether we win or lose.” Kenya sang loudly, she was on her fourth glass of Merlot and didn’t care. Then as if out of nowhere, Kenya’s mind thought back to when she and Daveed went to Trap Karaoke for a date. Kenya shook the thought of out her he’d she hated when little memories popped in her head, she was done with nostalgia. Kenya’s Drunk World Tour was cut shirt when frantic knocks were rapped against her door. She rolled her eyes, Daveed’s got some nerve coming to her house again. Kenya turned off the music and marched toward the door and swung it open

“Daveed you got some nerve—“ Kenya stumbled back slightly when she saw Rafa on her doorstep

“Oh, the fuck you want?” Kenya asked with a raised eyebrow

“Kenya, can I come in please?”

“No, I’m mad at your ass too Rafael.”

“Damn, Rafael? You haven’t called me that since we met,” he tried to joke, he cleared his throat when he saw the unamused look on her face

“You know I kinda wish I can go back to that night, I would’ve never talked to you or your trifling ass friend.” Kenya slurred slightly

“Look, Kenya I’m so sorry I really hadn’t opened my mouth I was fucking drunk can I please come in so we can talk. Please?” Kenya sighed heavily giving in

“Fine,”

“So what do you want?” Kenya asked pouring the two of them a glass of wine

“Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do—“ Kenya cut him off with a loud sigh “Kenya, I know what Daveed and I did when y’all first met was fucked up but give Daveed another chance, he’s been walking around like a sad puppy.” Kenya hummed condescendingly

“I don’t know what Daveed told you after he left here but if he put you up to this instead of comin over here and apologizing to my face he can miss me with all that bull shit! Daveed’s a grown-ass man he knows how to communicate.” Kenya stood up to leave

“Kenya—”

“Nope, I don’t wanna hear it!”

“Kenya, sit down!”

“I’m pretty sure Daveed’s sob story was very convincing but save it for the next bitch—”

“Kenya, sit down.” Rafael said firmly Kenya went wide-eyed and sat down on the barstool

“I’m not saying you gotta get back together with him but Kenya he really did love you. That part wasn’t fake. I’ve seen Diggs with other girls and he wasn’t doing half the shit he was doing when y’all were together. Just talk to him.”

“If you had come over before today I probably would but after our fight—”

“Fight?”

“I ran into him at the park today while he was walking Mia. We came back here because he left some of his records. He wanted to talk about getting back together one thing led to another and he accused me of only getting with him because he has money.”

“Diggs said that?” Rafa asked shocked

“Yep, so when I say this Rafa, I mean it. I’m no longer interested.”

“Damn, I just figured…”

“You’re a good friend, a damn good one but I’m moving on.” Rafa smiled softly

“I can respect that, I’m so sorry Ken, I feel like this is all my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself. Daveed and I were already having problems, that shit was the icing on the fucking cake.”

“I know but, if I hadn’t said anything—”

“It would’ve come out eventually,” Kenya reassured

“So I guess you’re gonna kick me out now?” Rafa joked making Kenya chuckle “There’s that smile!”

“if you want to leave that’s fine, you gotta report back to your friend?” Kenya teased

“Diggs left, he’s staying with his mom now.”

“Oh,” There was a brief silence between the two of them before Kenya spoke up

“You wanna smoke?”

“Hell yeah,”

After smoking two blunts and drinking whatever brown liquor you had on your bar cart, Kenya and Rafa sat at the kitchen island eating the pizza and wings they had just ordered. Kenya was actually having a good time she didn’t realize how much she missed her friendship with Rafa that’s why she was so hurt when everything went down. Kenya and Daveed were already having some relationship issues before Friendsgiving but to have Rafa know about the bet the entire time, it hurt her feelings.

“So what did Keyari do when you told her?”

“Oh, she wanted to fuck Daveed up, she still does.”

“Man I’m glad she wasn't here I don’t think I could handle both of you being pissed off.”

“Keyari probably would’ve swung,” Kenya laughed

“I hope we can still be friends, Kenya. I know you’re still mad at me but when you stop being mad I still want to be your friend even if you’re not with Daveed.”

“I’m definitely still mad at your ass Rafa, but I guess you’re alright.” She said playfully pushing his shoulder. Rafa grabbed her hand and smiled at her. Before she knew it they were leaning in their lips meeting in a kiss. Like a hand touching a flame, Rafa jumped back. Did he really just kiss his best friend’s ex?

“I don’t think we should do this,” Rafa breathed

“Then don’t think about it,” Kenya crashed her lips onto his, they both knew this was wrong but they couldn’t bring themselves to stop. Rafa walked them out of the kitchen until they reached her sofa. Kenya pulled back first and pushed Rafa down onto the shoulder, she bit her lip in anticipation. She sank to her knees and rubbed Rafa’s thighs while pulling his zipper down with her teeth

“What about Daveed?” Rafa breathed out

“You gonna tell him?” Kenya asked looking up at him as she undid the belt of his pants

“Fuck no,” Rafa assisted you in pulling down his jeans and boxers, Kenya grabbed his dick and slowly started to stroke him, Rafa let his head fall back. A million thoughts were running through her head that was shouting t her “This is a terrible idea!” “Stop, this is Daveed’s best friend!” But Kenya pushed those thoughts out the way Daveed had hurt her and she wanted to hurt him too. She placed a gentle kiss on the head before taking him all in her mouth.

“FUCK!” Kenya nodded her head up and down stopping to occasionally suck on the tip before sinking back to the base. Rafa grabbed her hair and started to thrust his hips up into her mouth making her gag.

“Shit, I’m about to come,” Kenya slowly pulled off Rafa grabbed her and pulled her up, and kissed her roughly. Rafa flipped them over, ripped her leggings off, and moved her panties out f the way before thrusting his dick into her Kenya winced slightly at the roughness but she Kenya moaned aloud when Rafa placed his liege on her shoulders and mercilessly thrust his hips into her.

“Fuck, Rafa! Don’t stop,” Kenya reached down and started to rub her clit she wasn’t far from her orgasm and by the way Rafa’s thrusts were becoming sloppier, neither was he. He came with a groan and Kenya followed Hartley after. Rafa panted trying to regain his breath and for the first time since they kissed Rafa and Kenya locked eyes and realization hit them. Rafael pulled out of Kenya and she immediately grabbed the throw blanket and wrapped herself with it. Rafael got dressed in silence neither of them wanting to look at each other.

“I’ll see myself out,” Rafa muttered under his breath

“Okay,” Kenya said quietly. “I don’t think we should hang out anymore,” Kenya said refusing to look at her friend

“Yeah, I um, think that’s a good idea. Goodbye Kenya,”

“Bye Rafael,” Kenya didn’t move from the couch until she heard her front door close. She put her hands in he head and groaned loudly, why the fuck would she do that?

Two Months Later

Kenya whined in irritation as she crawled out of bed for the past couple of weeks she’s been so groggy which is unlike her she is usually a morning person she’s gotta stop trying to hang with these 20 somethings. Kenya blindly walked into her bathroom. When she opened her medicine cabinet she saw her unopened box of tampons, shit, unopened? She quickly grabbed the box and it was indeed still packaged, she bought these a while ago and she hasn’t used them yet? Maybe she’s late again like last month—wait a minute, now that she thinks back she didn’t have a period last month, she doesn’t think so…she can’t remember.

“Oh fuck,” Kenya mumbled to herself. She quickly got dressed stumbling over her feet along the way and practically sped to the nearest CVS she probably broke a few traffic laws along the way, no, she broke a few traffic laws. She grabbed every pregnancy test she could get her hands on and raced back home.

Kenya gaped at the four positive pregnancy tests, she immediately grabbed her phone to call Daveed, he was the last person she slept with. Her thumb was inches from pressing the send button when she hesitated. Daveed wasn’t the last person she slept with.

AN: Yikes what a little tangled web Kenya weaved, I live for the drama I was on my Tyler Perry stuff. I hope you guys enjoyed reading!!

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[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 36

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us.                                                       A/N: Oh My God We’re Back Again. It’s been a long time, but we never lost our love for Mo Astor. We’ve been plotting, and writing, and editing behind the scenes. We’re back to posting once a week. Thank you to all the readers who’ve left comments, favorited, and waited patiently. Grab a drink, sit back, and get ready to become lost in the world we’ve created.

                                         Mo Astor Chapter 36

Jax

It’s been a long time since it was just me and my baby sister. I’m looking forward to the one-on-one, though I’d never admit it out loud. She’s been my rock through some hard times.

I imagine she’d say the same for me. When life around you is constantly shifting, you look to each other to remain stable. That’s something most don’t understand.  That bond you have with someone who holds you down through all the bullshit is lifelong. It doesn’t break when you do jail time, have a difference of opinions, or get busy with life. So yeah, I guess civilians right, we ain’t like them.

“Morning,” I call as I walk into the house and disarm and reset the alarm.

“You’re making me regret giving you a key.” I follow her voice into the kitchen.  

“You love it when I visit,” I retort.

“Did you tell the incubator I’m coming with you?” She asks cutting straight to the point.

I snicker. “Believe it or not, she prefers you.”

Journee scowls.

“Proves how fucking stupid she is,” she mutters.

“Jesus, Baby J. hold a grudge much?”

“Pot meet kettle. Mr. Let’s measure our dicks with Kick.” She finishes rinsing off her dishes, and piles them into the dishwasher.

“That was setting boundaries.”

“Riiight. Whatever you need to help you sleep at night. At least I own my crazy ass tendencies.” She pouts.

“’Cause that’s better?” I lean against the counter beside her.

“Oh, yeah bro. Always best to know yourself.” She winks

“You’re full of shit.”

“Guess that’s why my eyes are brown, huh? Wait that can’t be true. Cause your eyes are sky blue, J.”

“You’re supposed to be coming along for moral support,” I reminder her wryly.

“I am.” She pats my cheek as we head out of her house towards my bike. “I’m breaking you down to build you up stronger.”

“That’s some fucked up Gemma logic.” I mutter.

“She did raise us to be like her.”

“You say that with a straight face and it becomes a scary story.” She laughs.

“I know.”

“Such a little shit.” I’m smiling as I say it. Like a true little sister, no one can get away with more bullshit than her, and she knows it. It reminds me of the year she and Tommy were as thick as thieves. He was a lot like her in many ways—more soft spoken and thoughtful. As an only kid she had a crazy patience for him, reading him books, and letting him trail along beside her.

Part of me wondered if they’d have ended up together if things were different and she’d be a Teller for another reason. Especially with how things ended up for me and Lee.

I push the thought out of my mind. What if’s did nothing but drive you crazy.

“So, what exactly did I agree to go to anyway?” she asks.

“Don’t you think you should’ve asked that beforehand?” I tease.

She shakes her head. “You know I’m your ride or die.”

“I do. Basic check-up, and then lunch. I get the feeling she’s got some new man.”

She whistles. “Damn that fast?”

“Hey. If it keeps her from dicking with me and Lee, and doesn’t affect my boy, let her be happy.”

“All kidding aside.” She shuts the door to the dishwasher and turns to me. “ I’m proud of you, big brother. You’ve come a long way.”

My neck grows hot. “We both know Lee had a lot to do with that.”

“Your, opening your eyes and seeing what was in front of you did that. You and Lee were always just a matter of when not if.” She starts the wash cycle.

“So sure.” I roll my eyes.

“I could see it. Over the years you got so close, but something always kept you from clicking.” “Deep down I knew in order to keep her I’d have to get my shit together, and I wasn’t ready to do that. So I stayed back ‘cause fucking things up between us wasn’t an option, you know?”

“Things came out the way they were meant to.”

“You really think that?” I glance into her soft brown eyes, and she gives me that Madonna smile that makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. I can always be real with my sister because I know she’s going to give me the truth. Wither I want it or not.

“I do.” She reaches over and places her hand on mine. “You both had some work to do before you could commit to forever.”

“You think I have it in me?  Forever and kids and all that?” I ask cautiously. So far, I’m screwing up the baby thing with my first born. It’s scary thinking of another person depending on me, let alone a child. It changes everything, and our life is unpredictable.

“You are your father’s son. Is there even a doubt?”

“Naw.” I lie, trying to fake it till I make it like I always do.

“Didn’t think so. You’re paying for lunch right? ‘Cause I’m starving.”

I laugh.

“You about to try to put a hurting on my wallet?” I hand her my spare helmet before climbing on my bike.

“Better than putting a hurting on your ex.” She says with a shrug, clipping the helmet on.

I chuckle, pulling my helmet on.

“You have a valid point. Damn you are our mothers’ child.”

She blows a raspberry, before mounting my bike.  Little sis knows since she’s doing me a favor, she has the upper hand—and she’s going to milk that shit for all it’s worth. It’s the Teller way.

~~~~~~~ I’m pleasantly surprised and slightly bewildered by the manicured lawn and uncluttered space by the garage. The large black garbage cans are lined up neatly by the curb on the street.

Pulling into the driveway, I remove my helmet and pause to take in the freakish cleanliness it’s lacked in prior visits.  This is above and beyond the duties we assigned the prospect keeping tabs on Wendy’s house.

“Well. This is different,” Journee whispers.

“Yeah.” I frown and turn to look over my shoulder.

“Maybe Ma sent over multiple prospects to tidy up.”

“Nu-uh.” Journee shakes her head.

“She said this was your mess to handle.” I purse my lips. “Which means it’s up to me to help you out with the pile of shit you’ve landed in.” Journee sighs.

“I feel the love.”

Journee shrugs. “I’m only speaking the truth big bro. You choose poorly for your first baby Mama. I told you how I felt about her long before you decided to give her your crow.”

I scowl. “No need to rub it in.”

“I’m just reminding you to listen to me. Sometimes I know things.” She flicks my ear and climbs off the back of my bike gracefully.

“Let’s get this torture session over, please.”

“You think it’s bad for you? I got eighteen years of this bare minimum.”

Storing our helmets in my saddlebags, I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, be my buffer.”

“I should let you go up in flames,” She mutters.

“That’s not sisterly,” I say with a grin.

“Jaxass.” She mutters.

We climb the steps, and the door swings open to reveal Wendy before we can even knock.  My jaw drops at her appearance. I glance over to find Journee equally shocked.

She looks like a fucking Stepford wife in a pale-yellow sundress complete with a flared skirt and heels. Last time she dressed like this a waffle iron came flying at my head.

“Jackson.  Cat got your tongue?” Wendy smirks.

Journee growls. “Aaaah, the little cocoa sidekick.”

“You know it only takes nine months to bake a baby, and you’ve got what...” Journee taps a finger against her cheek. “Less than three months left?”

“Nice to know you can count,” Wendy sneers.

  This is a new woman in front of me. I’m glad that she’s gotten the idea of us getting back together to be a family out of her head, but this one-eighty makes me uneasy.

I scan her body, and notice the thick strips of white medical tape over her entire right forearm.

They stand out against her nineteen-fifties get up.

“The fuck.” I grab her arm. “What are you hiding?”

“Your mark. Which meant nothing.” She spits, tugging her arm away.

“Let me see.”

“Fuck you, Jackson.”

Journee moves forward, blocking the doorframe with her body to keep me from dragging the smart-mouthed bitch out.

“I swear to God. If you’re using again.”  My breath quickens, and my visions tints red as rage builds up inside me like an inferno about to blaze out of control.

“You can take it off on your own. Or I can make you,” Journee says softly.

“One of these days, someone is going to put you in your fucking place. You don’t even belong here,” Wendy growls.

Journee climbs up another step, getting in her face.

“I know exactly who I am, where I belong, and where I’m wanted. You could never say the same, could you? Poor little lost girl, with loose legs begging to belong.”

Wendy blinks and turns away. Her hands tremble as she unwraps the tape and thrusts her arm toward me. “Look your fill. You dick.”

I peer down at the unmarred skin, and my knees nearly go weak with relief.  “It better stay this way.”

“I have someone to take care of me now, Jackson. I don’t need your bullshit concerns.”

“The minute you give birth to my baby you can do whatever the hell you want. Until that time, your business is mine.”

“It’s my baby too.” Her tone makes me stand up straight.

“What was that Wendy?” My voice drops an octave. “Is the junkie with no job trying to tell me she thinks she’s the better parent?”

“Inside.” Journee whispers.

Of course, We always have to keep up appearances here in town.” My mother’s voice plays in my head.

The fresh scent of cleanser and scented candles greets me. The house has never looked this good.

Who turned her into June Cleaver? I search the place for clues. The laundry basket resting on the couch has t-shirts that are far too big for Wendy, and the black boxers are a dead giveaway.

I don’t feel anything for her. I haven’t for far longer than I care to admit.  But I do worry about the company she’s keeping with my boy still in her belly.

He’s not a junkie. Shit’s too put together for that.

“Going somewhere?” Journee asks, nodding toward the kitchen.

I spot the half-packed boxes and bare spaces on the counter.

“I don’t want to stay in this house of lies.” Her dark eyes burn into mine.

“And where do you plan on going?” I ask. She looks away.

“Do you really want us to have to find you?” Journee asks.

Wendy crosses her arms under her breasts, pulling the material tight around her waist.I take in the bulge that’s grown over the past month.

“I’m just preparing.”

“You’re not supposed to be lifting heavy things right now.”

“I have help,” She snaps.

“You aren’t the only person who’d ever want me.” Her hands ball into fists. “If you can move on, so can I.”

“No one is saying you can’t, you crazy bitch. Calm the fuck down before you distress my godson. There’s no reason for everyone to get all worked up. We get it. Wendy bagged herself a new man. Good for you. We’re here to get our report on the baby, and we’ll be gone. The quicker you update us, the sooner we’ll be out of your hair.” Journee holds her hands out like she’s wrangling two high school kids about to fight.

Huffing, she stalks over to the large chair and sits down crossing her ankles, like some kind of proper lady. I’m in the fucking twilight zone. I lean forward with my arms on my knees, drinking up her reports. My boy is growing properly and healthy. It’s more than I could’ve hoped for, considering how fast and hardcore we were living when she got knocked up.

We were both empty shells looking to fill up spaces neither of us could ever fit into.

It’d been fun for a while, but it had never been built to last. She wasn’t even a consolation prize post-Tara tear down— Wendy was a pretty thing to warm my bed and play by the club rules without question. Now I’m paying for my poor choices.

“You satisfied?” Wendy asks. Journee looks at me, and I nod.

“For now.” Journee nods her head, and we both rise.

“Same time next month, Case.” Journee drawls. Such a little shit. Makes a brother proud.

She scowls as we leave.

“What. the fuck, Jax?” Journee whispers.

I shake my head. “Not sure, but if he keeps her shit together for the next 2 and half months, I don’t much care.”

~~~~~~

Sitting down at the table in Hannah’s, I wait for J to finish most of her meal before bringing up the main reason I wanted to go out to lunch after.

“All right Baby J, so…I gotta admit there's another reason I brought you along today.” I begin, wiping my hands off with my napkin. She rolls her eyes playfully at me. “Of course there is. So, which of my skill sets will you need for this favor? I've got a few spots saved in the woods for disposal and Hap gave me an amazing cleaner kit for my birthday.” She says with an excited grin and a bloodlust in her eyes. She is so her father’s daughter. I can't help but chuckle, shaking my head in Disbelief.  By looking at her you'd never guess what she was capable of.  But with her dad the Sergeant at Arms of Grim Bastards, and her mentor Happy Lowman…there’s a side to her that I never want to get on the bad side of. “Well I do need your skills, just not those ones.” I say, taking a sip of my water. She raises a curious eyebrow at me before smirking.

“Sorry bro, my other skills are only allowed to be enjoyed by my husband and my wifey. As kinky as my old man is, I don't think we're ready to swing just yet.”

She teases with a wink and I damn near spit my sip out. “Jesus J, not that either! Shit little sister, I’ve only just begun playing in Lee's pussy myself. No other dick is going to be poking around in her till it’s been claimed to completion.” Her eyebrows shoot up.“Already planning on making her your second baby mama?” "Second and final. But not just yet. I just got her to say I love you to me. If I plant the seed too soon, I'm worried she'd rip out the roots.”

She rolls her eyes. “Naw Bro, Lee'd never terminate.”

“Oh I know, I wasn't talking about the baby. I was more concerned with her going Loreena Bobbitt on me.”  I say honestly, shifting in my seat at the imaginary pain. She bursts out laughing, nodding her head in agreement. “Yea, that uh, that might be more likely.” She says between adorable little snorts.

I nod my head in agreement. “Exactly and seeing is how I ain't planning on changing my singing voice anytime soon, I'm real careful how I'm navigating this one.” Feels like the story of my life right now. It’s been a unique experience having the girl be hesitant with me.With Tara and Wendy, we went full steam ahead, and the crows afterwards all but jumped on my dick the minute I looked at them.

Lee is different. And being with her like this has shown me just how special she is.

She’s worth the time and the energy to make this work for both of us.

J offers me a soft, approving smile. “That's good to hear.” I nod. It’s a relief knowing how much baby sister supports us. None of this would’ve happened without her, and I know she’s got my back to help me navigate these new relationship waters. “Besides she's got that IED thing in her arm.” I add.

She bursts out laughing again and this time I'm a little confused.

“It's an IUD dumbass. Lee doesn't have a fucking bomb implanted in her arm.” She teases and I can't help but chuckle.

There's a joy in her eyes I haven't seen since before the whole Kyle debacle. I'm not the least bit surprised her old man helped put it there. I've known about his crush on her for years, but I knew better than to say shit. I figure if Chibs was taking his time there had to be a reason. Brother was one of the most strategic mother fuckers I knew. I was fifteen when he patched in, and after losing my old man, I saw him like the big brother I never had. There was no one I listened to and trusted more than Filip Telford.

I loved Ope and, there would always be a lifelong bond between us, but when he met Donna, we both felt something sever between us. He became a family man almost overnight, and I wasn’t done sewing my wild oats. Plus, the way the whole thing went down with him hurting J, it never sat right with me. Those two had been headed in a direction that would’ve been something real special. But then Mary got involved, dragged him away and he came back with Donna.

I can still feel my anger at the look of heartbreak he’d put on Journee’s face.

He’s been out a few months now and I rarely see him. The separation has been painful, but he’s trying to go the way of the straight and narrow for his family. Donna’s laid out the rules damn clearly. If he gets into trouble again, she’s out. Should’ve had brown babies Ope. This was the real danger of marrying and procreating with a Civi. They never fully understood our world, and few respected the price that sometimes must be paid to be apart of it. I don’t resent Ope for finding love, but I do resent his love for taking him away from his family.

“All right, Well then I'm lost Jay boy. If it ain’t cleaning and it ain’t playtime…what could you need from me?” She asks, taking a sip from her drink. My stomach flutters excitedly. I reach into the pocket of my cut. Producing the crinkled, early stages of a sketch I’ve been working on, I slide it over to her.

“Need the artiste in you little sister.” She glances at me and then opens the paper. My excitement turns to nerves as I watch her eyes studying the picture presented to her. "What am I looking at here J?" She asks and I scowl slightly. "I mean I know I'm not a great artist like you, but you can tell it's a crow.”

She chuckles. “I mean I know that, but I’m wondering why I'm looking at crow?”

"Right so, I need your help J. I want to design a new crow for Lee. After the shit with Kick, I need her inked. I want everyone to know she's claimed.” Her eyebrows shoot up again. “Wait what? A new crow, but your dad designed the first one. Why do you want to do new?” “I know dad designed the first one, but he designed it for my mom. And then ya know other old ladies got it and it just sort of became trademark.” I pause. “But there's nothing trademark about my old lady. I want her to have one just for her, cause she's damn special to me and she deserves something that represents not just me but us. Like you and Chibs did. Seeing the crow designed specifically for the two of you made me realize, I don't want her wearing the same generic shit that both Tara and Wendy got. Lee is never gonna be an ex, I know she's my forever and I want this crow to be more than just the generic SAMCRO trademark.”

I explain my thought process to her watching the smile tugging at the edge of her lips.

“So, that's what I need your help with. No one loves Lee as much as me and no one knows her better. I've got an idea and I can explain what I want, but I need your help executing my vision and making it something that represents us both and that she'd be proud to wear.”

I wait for her reaction. She studies the sketch and runs her fingers over the lines. “Where are you thinking she wears her brand?” I can’t help but remember before we were together, standing in my dorm room at Journee's engagement party.  Journee running her slender fingers over Lee's chest saying how sexy a chest piece would look. I lick my lips and shift in my seat before clearing my throat. “Depends what we come up with. I know I’m definitely going to want her to get a chest piece so anyone who looks knows exactly who she belongs to, but I also know she's gotta be careful with size given her business dealings in the upper crust. So maybe just property off Jax across her chest so she can cover it up if need be. But this crow, HER crow...I don't want to worry about size. Maybe her shoulder or tricep for when she's in tank tops. After we design it and I give it to her, I'll let her decide where.”

Journee nods thoughtfully. “All right so explain to me what you're thinking.” She reaches into her oversized satchel she almost always has with her, and pulls out a small sketch book and pencil. I chuckle at her. She shrugs sheepishly. “Hey I'm an artist, never know when inspiration might strike.” She says flipping the book open to an empty page. “So I like what you have going here with the crow but what if you go with a two headed crow. Sort of like you and her becoming one.”  She explains, masterfully sketching out what I'd already drawn and adding on to it. “Now, tell me what else you're thinking.”

By the time we’re finished, the idea is a fully formed tattoo. The two crows each have a wing.

A bleeding heart in the middle of the crows speaks to our passion and dedication for each other. One crow clutches an A.K. 47 for the club, and the other crow clutches an olive branch to represent the peace she brings me.  With her, I’m completely balanced. Journee’s thrown in a few other hidden easter eggs to symbolize Lee.  My name sits above the entire thing to let everyone know who my old lady belongs to. I love that in a way Journee is woven in there. There would be no me and Lee without her wonderfully “subtle” match making ways. We stand to leave, and I toss 20 extra bucks down on a 24-dollar bill. SamCro always makes sure to tip extra well in town. Keeps our business running and our business owners happy to have us. As we're walking out my phone rings and I can't help but grin when I see Lee's name on the caller ID.

“Hey beautiful, I was just thinking about you.” I say answering the phone. “How'd your meeting go?” I ask as we walk towards my bike. "Hey baby, went good. I think your mom and I were able to nail down the last of the details for the taste of Charming festival coming up.” I can hear the relief in her tone.

“Glad to hear it Darlin. J and I just finished up lunch. Headed back now.” I pause.“I mean, headed home.” I correct, winking at the smirk J gives me. “Glad to hear it darlin.” She mocks on the other end. J and I get to the bike and she grabs her helmet. “How’d your meeting go with Wendy?”

“Went good. I’ll tell you more about when I get there.”

“Okay baby.” I can hear her hesitation for a moment.

“Something wrong?”

“No, not at all. But umm Sack came by this morning with a few boxes of your stuff. And I hope you don't mind that I started unpacking some things. You know I hate boxes.” My heart damn near soars at her words. “Of course I don't mind Lee. You know how I hate unpacking, so unpack away. I can't wait to see it. My shit mixed in with yours. Bet it's gonna look amazing.” I say honestly. After our bathtub wall breaking session we both wanted as much of my stuff into her house as soon as possible.

Mostly cause I didn't want her changing her mind on me. “I think you'll like it. I’m headed back to the house now. You done for the day or you got Club stuff you gotta do?”

“I got some free time babe. I'll head over after I drop J off.”

I mount my bike so J can get on while I finish up my phone call. “Okay sounds good Jax.” She grows quiet for a second before a sweet "I love you Jackson," comes through the earpiece. I can't help the smile hearing her initiate the L word that been circling my head for months.

“I love you too Harley.” I say sincerely, picturing her bashful, smile on the other end.

“I'll see you soon babe.”

“Okay, bye baby.” She says before disconnecting the call. Journee is settled in her seat behind me and I can practically feel her smile. “How'd that feel?” She asks learning forward to wrap her arms around my waist. “Pretty Amazing, I’ll never get tired of hearing that from her.” I answer honestly, pulling my helmet on.  I can always be honest and real around J. “I know the feeling.” She says giving me a squeeze. She leans forward to place an affectionate kiss on my check.“I'm so happy for you Jackson. For both of you.” She says.

I thread my fingers in her course curls and cup the back of her head. After Pressing a firm kiss to her cheek, I rest my head on top of hers for a moment. “Thank you, Journee. For everything.” I sincerely say.

There is no doubt in my mind if it hadn’t been for my baby sister I wouldn’t be in this amazing stage with Lee.

Knowing me I would’ve fucked us up by now. She gives me a squeeze before situating in her seat. “All right, enough with the chick flick moment. Take me home chauffer, time for me to go see my old man.” She says like a little kid getting ready to open presents as soon as she gets home. “Yes ma'am.” I tease starting my bike and heading out. ~~~~~ A/N: In case ya’ll were wondering this was what Tellerford was thinking Lee’s Crow Looks like. It’s based off a Design the show produced and was tweaked to fit our image lol. So we thought you might like a little glimpse into what’s in our head. 

[ktheist]

story time: wartime child

warning: spoilers ahead.

this is where i rant, cry and scream about my fics. not all fics have a story time though! the ones that do just kind of have a special place in my heart ♥️

ok. where to start?

i.

i think the how i get inspiration for wartime child should be a good start.

i don’t really remember though. all i know was i read @softlyjiminie’s to hold a dragon’s heart. the part where she highlights the forest made a big impact on me - esp being someone who needs to imagine the scenes as i read, i was easily transported into that fic’s world. (and of course fraener was influenced by taehyung’s shapeshifter character!)

so i wanted to write another universe. the idea of races being at war was already there since who knows how long and i already wrote an excerpt of it months ago - before i even thought of the main character being jungkook or the involvement of a certain magical baby. but the concept was much darker and made it hard to me to continue writing. initially, the oc was supposed to be queen of the underworld who got tired of hiding and decided to rule the humans. then war breaks out - that’s as far as i got.

but felt like i needed to do extra research about races and their abilities. and of course ya girl was too lazy to research so i scraped the dark themes of war - not that the current wartime child is light but it’s lighter than i originally had in mind. couldn’t have been all fluff since someone actually died lmao

so i got started again on the idea after reading THADH. it just started coming to me yk - who’ll it be about? jk because he’s easiest to write. is there a twist? a magical baby! and ideas kept pouring from there on.

and i’m so glad i took my time with the fic - didn’t rush it, slept on some scenes and woke up with a better version or addition. i suppose it wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for quarantine and that gave all the time in the world.

but i hope everyone stays safe and that this pandemic ends soon. there are people out there who can’t afford to miss their jobs and have bills to pay. i hope the government does its job and help the people and let go of whatever political, financial interest they have. and to my readers specifically, i hope they’re holding on and staying safe and healthy.

ii.

i think i’m particularly proud of myself for holding back mary sue-ing the oc. i’m so glad i made her human and stuck with that until the end.

her character is a personal landmark for me - she’s the first character i wrote that isn’t emotionally detached in order to make an oc look “strong”. in a way, that kind of thinking (being emotionally distant to be a strong person) is toxic.

i don’t know if it is for others but i can only speak from my experience. i’d been that girl that thought crying was a part of being weak and not showing emotions means you’re strong - i was wrong sue me lmao

but yeah, i have a soft spot for the oc because she’s finally the “evolved” version of my mindset.

i think more often than not, we tend to associate the words “strong women” with physical strength or having a sort of control over people. while it is part of strength, it’s not the only definition of a strong woman. i’ve always held onto to the concept that the root of empowerment isn’t breaking the stereotype but it’s being able to choose to do whatever the fuck you want - stereotype or not. you want to go to work, have a successful career life? go for it. you want to get married, stay at home and take care of your kids? yas queen. you wanna find your own path and skip college? inspiring.

so to me, the oc was strong in her own way. she had decided to keep her kid and live for the two of them - ofc it was dumb of her not to ask for monetary aid from the baby daddy but her pride is part of her flaw and i love it. she was prideful in the beginning and didn’t want to depend on anyone. but what’s empowering for me is she took a brave step to reach out for jk for the best of her child’s interest. and when she found out he wasn’t coming back after jumping into the portal head first, she stayed strong for jun and raised him by herself - ofc she had help from taehyung and taeyeon but friends can only help so much. at the end of the day it’s just her and her kid. it’s just - her choice to be the mother to her kid is so powerful to me.

but i guess i mary sue-d jun a bit. but then again, you don’t always get a magical genius kid and struggle to raise em because they’re not how you raise normal kids lmao

iii.

god i hate kids.

but there are some that are sweet and pure and we just don’t deserve them yk? those are the kids i absolutely am soft for. and whew the baby fever - i saw too many baby videos on my timeline on twitter so you get jun!

i don’t want kids mainly bc they’re assholes but i’m horrified if i had one, i end up raising them as an asshole.

that’s when jun was born - the manifestation of the kid i never had and how i’d raise him. but irl isn’t that easy, you might slip up and end up raising a mini you-asshole. and ik for a fact that a neutral evil (me) is somewhat an asshole.

at first, i thought of just giving him a minor role here and there but i’m a winger and don’t outline my fics so he ends up probably with more screen time than jungkook.

call it fanfiction but koo’s baby edition lmao

iv.

the real mvp?

definitely the manga/manhwa(s) i read prior to writing wartime child. they’re another form of universe that sucked me in completely.

i have them to thank because i think my narration got way smoother. i used to struggle with that - i couldn’t convey my character’s emotions properly to the readers and i think that’s what makes a big difference in whether a fic becomes liked more or less.

but then again, the likes may very well depend on tumblr’s algorithm. so at the end of the day, i think got lucky with the amount of notes.

v.

none the less, the support i got was beyond my imagination. mainly because it was all fluff and angst and lacked sexual content.

not that i’m saying a fic needs to have smut in order to attract more readers but i think we should acknowledge that the ones with sexual content gets better audience and that’s amazing too. shout out to all the writers who are able to write amazing sex scenes - that shit ain’t easy 🙌

i wish i could thank every single one of my readers for reading and the potential ones who probably liked or reblogged as a “to-read-list”. and i don’t know if my sincerity reaches the ones i manage to thank. i’m not good with words and i want each respond to a feedback to be different and meaningful but i don’t know if i managed to do that. but i’m truly grateful for those who reblogged with a comment, it made my whole week.

and i remember kirbykook’s ask - i’m guilty for keeping it in my inbox for longer than i should. they’d asked about the future of the fic and what would happen after jun’s little sibling is born. it gave me a reason to revisit wartime child’s world and realize how much i enjoy writing that fic ♥️

x

so that’s all for story time! thank you for reading 💓

[huntershelper25]

Path of the Chosen: Ch 3

PotC: Ch 3

Summary: Brooke is a 21 year old girl who’s life is flipped upside down when she receives a phone call from someone she hasn’t heard from in years. This phone call leads to events that cause her to get sucked back into the lives of two young men whom she hasn’t spoken to in years. Her life is never the same. Along the way she learns a secret about herself that not even her father had known. She is forced to face her destiny. Which path will she choose: duty or family?

A/N: I suck at summaries. I started writing this fic YEARS ago. It was posted here on Tumblr, but I have made some edits recently and have decided to repost it. This requires some introduction though. I had a thought one day of what the show would look like if there was a female character that was brought in that actually stuck around for longer than a season or two. And because the thought wouldn’t go away this story and Brooke were born. I had a lot of good feedback the last time I posted this years ago so I decided to repost it for my new followers with some edits.

Disclaimer: There is a LOT of direct quotes and scenes from the show. Especially in the first few chapters. I do not own any of it. I only claim the character of Brooke and how she fits into the story. All else is credited to the writers and copyright holders of the show Supernatural.

Warning: There is some smut thrown in randomly for the first 5 chapters as flashbacks to establish timeline, character building, and relationships, but after that the smut dies off.  Also, let’s just assume condoms are implied. They aren’t mentioned, but let’s assume they are used.

Pairings (through entire story): Dean/Brooke (OFC), Sam/Brooke (OFC)(in later chapters)

Word count: 1700

Previous Chapters:

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

As she stood watching the paramedics take Meg’s body out the front door she couldn’t help but think about what had happened to her father’s body. Had whoever found him given him a proper burial? Did they cremate him or did they bury him? Had anyone actually found him or was his body still lying there, cold and alone?

“Miss?” The deputy said bringing her back to reality. “Can you repeat that last bit for me please?”

“Yeah, sure. I came in and saw Bobby on the phone, apparently talking to you guys, and saw the girl on the floor, dead.” Just as she and Bobby had rehearsed.

“And where were you when the fall occurred?” The deputy said as he wrote her statement down.

“I wasn’t here. I just arrived.”

“Just arrived?”

“I’m just visiting.” She took a deep breath, “My father just passed and Bobby is the only family I have and he offered to put me up for a while.” She felt a stitch in her side tighten. She had said it out loud for the first time.

“Alright, and just to clarify, you’ve never seen this girl before today?”

“No, sir, I have not.”

Bobby’s story was that she was a transient that was helping him on a few projects in exchange for cash and she was up on the roof of the shop fixing a leak when she slipped and fell. It was the only “accident” he could think of that would explain her injuries.

When the deputies and the paramedics had gotten on their way Bobby turned to Brooke and looked her straight in the eye. He didn’t speak, he just looked at her for a good few seconds, then gestured for her to follow him outside. As they walked through the lot her mind went back to what had happened to her father’s body. She didn’t want to think about it, it hurt to think the man that had always been there, the man that had protected her all her life was reduced to a body, an empty shell. Sure they didn’t get along much the past few years and he always made her feel underappreciated and useless, but he was her father and she had to know if he was given the proper respects, the respects of a hunter. She wiped away a tear as she spoke, “Bobby, do you know what happened to my dad’s body?”

He stopped walking and turned to face her. A look of surprise mixed with utter concern on his face. She could tell he was surprised she was ready to even talk about my father yet. “A hunter friend of mine found him and Caleb and gave them both a hunter’s send off. Proper respects were paid and proper care was given.”

“Thanks.”

He nodded and continued walking toward the shop.

It was customary to salt and burn the body of a hunter upon their demise. Angry ghosts are generally created through a brutal death. Many hunters don’t wish to roam this earth and become the things that they hunt, and as they more often than not die a gruesome death, the only way to prevent this is to salt and burn the body. It’s become almost ritualistic with wrapping the body in white cloth and then placing it upon a large pyre of wood to be burned. There were still some that opted for the traditional burial, but her dad had wanted to be burned and she was happy to hear his wishes had been carried out.

They stopped walking just outside the shop next to a beaten up, rusting sedan. To which Bobby gestured.

“What about it?” It was a piece of junk, not even worth a dime.

“This is your project to earn your keep. Tear her down. Anything worth keeping I want you to put in the shop, everything else is to go over in that bin. And when you’re done with this one, I’ll give ya another.” He tipped his hat and walked away.

Brooke knew this project was a bunch of bull. There was nothing on this car worth salvaging so tearing this car down served no purpose but to keep her busy. Bobby of course was well aware that she knew this. She just shook my head and got to work. She welcomed the busy work. The less idle she was the less likely she was to let her mind wander. She knew she would have to face it all eventually, and that she would have to deal with it, but she just wasn’t ready to do that all quite yet. She knew my father had been given a hunter’s send off and for now that was enough for her. She would deal with the rest of it later.

 As she wiped grease from her hands she realized the sun was going down. She hadn’t realized she had been at this project for that long. She tossed the rag in a bin and headed up to the house.

“I was just about to give you a holler.” Bobby said from in front of the stove, as she walked in the back door and took off her boots. “I hope you like sausage it’s all I got right now,” he gave her a sheepish smile. Bobby was a constant bachelor and lived alone with very few guests. She hardly expected him to prepare her a five course meal with game hen as the main course, let alone cook for her at all.

“Sausage is fine.” She said as she grabbed a couple beers from the nearly empty fridge. She made a mental note to do some proper grocery shopping tomorrow.

She sat down at the small kitchen table and set one of the beers on the side closest to him. As Bobby cooked she looked around the room and realized how run down this place really was. When she was younger she thought it was cool that Bobby lived in this run down place, gave him more of an edge, but now, as she took in the peeling wallpaper and discolored kitchen cabinets, she realized just how alone Bobby really was. His wife had died long before she had met him and he’d been alone ever since.

She was lost in thoughts about Bobby and his life when she felt something scratch her arm. She looked down and saw that on the arm of the chair were rub marks. This had been the chair they had tied Meg to earlier. This was the chair that innocent girl had been strapped down to while they exorcised the demon that had taken over her body. Brooke wondered if she had been awake through it all and if she had lived would she still feel the straps rubbing her wrists raw years later as Brooke still did. She closed her eyes and reminded herself that John had been doing what he thought he had to.

She looked up to see Bobby standing beside the table, plates in hand, staring at her. When they made eye contact he gave an unsure smile and set a plate in front of her. They ate in silence. She could tell by his sideways glances that Bobby was concerned for her. She had been through a lot these past couple days. She would be concerned for her too if she were him. She wanted to tell him that she was okay, that she would get through it, but she honestly didn’t know if she was okay or not.

She thanked Bobby for the meal and headed off to the spare room. On her way out of the kitchen she spotted a bottle of whiskey amongst some books that was still half full. She grabbed it as she walked by, hoping Bobby didn’t see, but she knew he had.

She sat on the floor with her back against the bed and stared at the wall. Her mind immediately began to reel. She wasn’t sure which emotion to feel first or which thought was forming when. They all just came in a rush all jumbled together. She took a long draw from the whiskey and welcomed the burn.

She didn’t want to think about any of it. She didn’t want to think about her father dying and leaving her alone in this world. She didn’t want to think about why these old memories of that night in Illinois kept creeping back up. She didn’t want to think about that poor innocent girl that had died earlier today. She didn’t want to feel the pain, she didn’t want to feel the anger, she didn’t want to feel the emptiness. Because than it would all be real, and she didn’t want to accept that it was real, that it was all really happening. She took another draw from the bottle and felt the world around her slip away just slightly. She had never been one to turn to the bottle, but she wasn’t ready to face reality, not yet. She wasn’t ready to feel the pain. Yes, she had exacted her revenge for her father and that demon bitch was back in hell where she belonged, but for some reason that didn’t seem to matter, it didn’t seem to make anything better. She took another long swig and slowly allowed its poisons to take her over. She remembered the promise she had made to herself the night before, the demon was gone, and she smiled slightly at how fast that revenge had been taken out, but now that it was all over she was getting out. She needed to get away from all this death and pain. She wanted a regular life. She took another draw from the bottle as she realized that Sam, who had wanted out so badly, had seemed to get pulled back in, but she didn’t have a brother like Dean to drag her ass back in. She had no one so a fresh start was possible for her. As she finished off the bottle and the world began to slip away she made the decision to start her new life at first light.

[wolfwhiteflowers]

s9 filming spoilers and speculations..... TWD RANTS

Timejump-capital /twd parade pics and Caryl-the skybound thing, & other-richonne. (this post is meh and confusing) 

*twd spoilers, comic spoilers, anti C/E

k so writing this long weird speculation and thoughts-post. I wanna like move on from the show. Like as usual it’s on hiatus ykno? But the s8 finale messed me up so much. And I wonder a lot about Carol and the ships. Unanswered questions. I guess I’m saying I’m gonna rant a lot...or I go big in this post. 

Now we’re getting filming spoilers. bits and pieces but s9 premiere is a big deal like because of the time jump. The time jump changes the story a lot right? So... just from spoilery things, I realized, it’s hitting me a lot that it’s so 50/50 on me for if I still like the show or not (with timejump, ships, different showrunner/writings, and who knows how TWD ends). 

I really don’t like how 50/50 that is. So shock value way? Anyways, this hiatus I guess is gonna be a really big roller coaster ride. :\ I feel more doubtful than hopeful about s9. ....I just want Carol to be in character (the way i see it) and I want Carol (anyone) to interact with team family more. Idk if I can trust the writers during the hiatus with some bits of spoilers because some arcs start off frustrating and end well. It’s like I also have to wait till they film the finale to know if I wanna watch s9. or it’s like I wait till s10 for an arc to end. Idk I’m bummed that it’s at that point for me to decide to quit or not. sigh stories.

Yeah so this reminds me of s8, where the biggest change to the show happened with Carl’s death for me and the fandom. So I(and like most people too apparently...show is still going) keep watching TWD because Carl’s death doesn’t bother me that much, I feel the writing is still fine, and I see it as Rick’s show. So ..idk what im saying. I just think if they screw up Carol’s character and her interactions, then I feel it’s pointless to keep watching the show. I want charactery bonds, interesting arcs, and parallels. I know TWD can still be fine, but s8′s bad finale ep made me doubtful on the writing (or editing...there were good deleted scenes in s8 finale). 

Time jump

Wow those pics of the cast at the capital and on horses. “twd parade” The pics also tells a lot or so what 9x01 will be like/time jump. It’s overwhelming. It got me excited and then I worry the show will suck and mess up my faves.

The time jump in 9x01 looked like not like Carl’s dream/5 years(?) where Rick had a cane, white hair, 6 yo Judy, and Negan gardening with TF. This time jump in s9 so far looked like one year went by. Also looked like the characters got one thing changed on them. Rick-short hair, Carol-hat, Jesus-manbun, etc.so it’s like it’s not that much of a time jump.

Oh man, I can’t help it but I want to compare TWD and The 100. (They’re different ofc, one’s pace is fast and more violent/survival-like. It’s also like it’s ok to watch more than one show even tho one is better or whatever. It’s frustrating tho T100 have way more interactions/girl power.) Both current survival-shows. Right now, The 100 just had a six year time jump(I think) and TWD in s9 there will be a time jump too. So The 100′s current season, I really liked how they did set up the time jump and informing us how the characters are doing and see the changes in them and their looks. Even their previous season, there was a good understanding foreshadowing to the time jump plot. ...TWD didn’t, I mean Idk why, it’s like easy writing they should’ve done..to keep fans interested to what’s next on the show. I noticed in The 100, is that there were flashbacks and bottled/centered episodes. It’s also quick but partly because The 100 have a short season too and the writers want to focus on the upcoming different plot.

Anyways, so now that I think it’s been like a year later in TWD story. My theories are like everywhere and changed. I’m also like being an annoying comic fan..wants to be exact way but it’s a show and they can remix stuff. Whatever, we all want good stories! It’s kinda following the comics like usual. ok. Time jump and whisperers are coming. Idk why, I’m really excited for ‘old man Rick’ hair cut and horses, when I’m like wtf Rick’s curls tho. lol  Also just..9 seasons...and do I still like the show and will I like what’s next based on comics? (I actually figured AOW in s7-8 would be boring or come off different in the show. It’s all battle scenes and comics goes quicker..Idk I figured it would be boring but I think the war story on show and comics did alright. It wasn’t like a boring action movie that I see most of the time with action movies :P So I think this arc in s9 people will like this. More charactery stuff, well based from the comics. But we don’t have Carl and Maggie(for certain)?... Yeah usual tv flaws.)

So, I think it’s just one year later and that’s it. Also, I don’t mind seeing flashbacks and bottle episodes, as long it’s done well and entertaining. I think in s9 bottle episodes are needed.

kids

So since I think it’s one year later, then we probably get the same Judith girl in s8, as 3 yo?, Hershel Jr as -months old, and I don’t think there will be a Richonne-baby...unless Michonne got pregnant right after the war and Hershel Jr and Richonne-baby are about the same age. 

Skybound mailbag/Caryl/ E&Z

I read some speculations and from C/E shippers, just to get more info on Carol. (I gotta stop that. I’ll know about Carol when I do and they’re really anti-Caryl. It’s annoying. ugh ship wars.) I realized from the spoilery pics and speculations, I just don’t want Carol with anyone or C/E in s9/s9A. I just want to know what’s up with Carol again. Unless Carol being with E is a very minor thing. Like in The 100 show where two times fans suddenly learn Bellamy has a gf. There was a time jump and the relationship’s build up and being canon was all offscreen. The relationship didn’t last or some other thing important was gonna happen. I just want to know what’s Carol’s thinking and feeling. Idk I just feel if C/E happens,I just feel like Idk Carol anymore. :\ Idk what Caryl is anymore. They’re best friends (crushes) right...and still is? I really don’t like in s8 finale where Carol didn’t talk to any TF member/Daryl about why she wants to stay at Kingdom. Just any moment to see TF knows too. Also, Idk if Daryl is staying at ASZ or Hilltop and does Rick knows Daryl doesn’t agree with his decision on Negan.

(lil post on twdzone. carol/and show stuff)

‘If C/E happens like a - a surprise ship in s9. I find it bad writing because they didn't set it up in s8 or should add more romantic tone in it and obviously put a C/E moment in the finale. But they didn't. So..bad writing. Or just idk maybe it's for plot reasons (E’s death). Maybe there will be a love triangle? It makes Carol out of character or strange for me. Who/What does Carol care about and why? Idk.

 It’s also something that TWD has to do too...from s8 finale and time jump/season premiere it means s9 premier ep gotta be a very well written episode to explain to everything and well reasons. But man...the s8 finale was so wacky and frustrating. It made me lose hope on the writers. I did like s8B but wow finale wtf. And finale is important ep of the seasons..and also it was before the big time jump. sigh. //It reminds me something, it’s kind of TWD’s style or Gimple’s, that premieres are more important than finales. So I hope s9 premiere is good. So yeah if Caryl is just gonna be friends and also just gonna like nod at each other like they don't have that special (continuity) bond anymore. Then that show is over for me. It's also not Caryl’s connections too, I miss Carol’s connections with Team family so much! OMG just looking at Carol and Rick edits, I just sigh.. I know some don't like their relationship. But I like theirs and they got that history, interesting dynamic. I don't wanna see Carol and Rick like they're just acquaintances now. (um like remember their history and trying to save Sophia. etc.) I want Carol or anyone to interact and be team family. The show gotta focus on their main characters and interact them. Too many side characters...too many separations.’

Other

Once I thought about this idea, I’m like gaaah I really hope TWD does this. I really want and hope Rick have these moments to remember Carl by and to do it every season. I really like this idea I have where Rick could write a letter to Carl or talk to Carl’s grave in every season premier/finale. It’s something that merge the old TWD and the new TWD story...even though it’s Rick’s show, it’s still a father and son show.

Richonne!

I have some speculations and thoughts. I just wanna say that I hope Richonne in s9 is more interesting than comic R&A in the comics in the point of the story. Just be like on the show, power couple and all. I really like how in s8 finale, they were like co-leaders. Together. Idk I’m curious how Richonne will go in s9 and on. It’s seems real different than in the comics/R&A are doing. 

So, in the comics, Andrea was like focusing on protecting Carl and co-leading etc. and then she dies at the end of Whisperer war. I find her death and end of her journey boring and disappointing. So Idk, I hope Michonne’s journey is interesting and I have no clue how this comic-Michonne and/or Andrea remix thing works out since Carol is using comic-Michonne’s too. %) Anyways, so I don’t think Michonne will die like comic-Andrea because tv-Carl got the death. After the Andrea’s death, Rick bonded and grieved with Mikey (Carl’s friend) while Carl is at Hilltop adulting. From the comics, I felt like Kirkman wished he had Rick and Andrea to have a child together but he didn’t so he got Mikey more into the story and w/Rick. So I’m like maybe we will get a Richonne-baby? But, then I also thought maybe Judith is like comic-Mikey. Grimes 2.0 grieving and missing Carl. So yeah.. I’m suspecting Richonne won’t have child together or at least in s9. From the twd parade pics, Idk, I don’t think there will be a baby. I really hope they do someday though.

 Another thing is, I really want Judith to call Michonne “Mom” and Rick to point out to people that Michonne is his wife.  

So yeah, roller coaster.

[its-love-u-asshole]

about me as a writer

I was tagged by @oiivkawa <3 Thanks so much, this was super fun!

Tagging: @emeraldwaves @ivyfics @calmgeyama @ohoholyshit @yatatsukki and?? anyone else who wants to I guess lol, I feel like most ppl I know how been tagged ^^ 

I’m putting my responses under the cut as well bc I know myself lmao, my responses can be long af ^^’’

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? bleh I have two usernames, and both stories are embarrassing LOL I’ll go with my actual ao3 name though I guess?? When I was in middle (?) school I used to watch the anime HOTD, which is like...awful first off. It’s borderline hentai, shitty fanservice, the whole thing (don’t ask me why I watched it, bc who knows, the music was A+) but my favorite character’s name was Saya, and her servants would call her ladysaya, so that’s the explanation for that ha. I put the x in front because I used to be obsessed with x men and all the marvel/dc animated series, so it felt appropriate pft. Man, even talking about this brings back so many cringe worthy memories lmao forgive me. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (Bookmarks/ Subscriptions/ Hits/ Kudos) for Haikyuu!! it’s definitely Slipping Underneath, and for K Project it’s There You Are <3 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon and why did you choose it? It’s Semi! The reasoning for this is because I have 3 fav Haikyuu!! characters: Tsukishima, Oikawa, and Semi. So I just try to distribute my love evenly tbh lol. I have a Tsukki icon on here and discord, Semi for AO3, and Oikawa is on my phone case ^^ 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? ahhh I have several but I’m not aware if many of them have tumblr?? A lot of people who comment on every chapter of my multichapters are very special to me, I love them all! Ofc on here there’s @emeraldwaves @ivyfics @momomirasaki124 @uselessvalshit @starjem and then I have my other fav supporters @serviceace @caelestisxyz and @urikawa-miyuki  <3 

5. Is there a fanfic you keep going back to read again and again? Ah damn there are so many lmfao, I have a lot of fav fics and I don’t want to make this post super long. Please check out the rec posts I’ve done here and here ! Or also message me for specific types of fics <3 I will say though, one fic I always go back to read even though it’s been YEARS is a kyoukao fic by potionwine! 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? I consider myself pretty picky, but I do read a LOT of fic, so I have a decent amount of both ^^ About 187 bookmarks, and 16 fic/author subscriptions! 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? Probably college?? even though I know that’s super broad, and all kinds of different AUs can be based in college but that’s how it is lol. I think that’s because I honestly don’t like redoing AUs?? I like experimenting and making up really weird shit and original scenarios as much as possible. Though, I’m sure you can find apparent trends across all my fics ^^ 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? haha...I have 76 user subscriptions, 436 general fic subscriptions, and 792 bookmarks. I don’t even know how that’s real lmao I feel so blessed that so many people enjoy my writing <3 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) not really honestly, if I have an embarrassing or indulgent idea at this point, I just write it lmao idc but there are lots of types of fics I am scared to write just bc I don’t know if I could do them justice heh....

10. Is there anything you’d like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. yes lmao updating better would be something I’d LOVE to improve on ; ; Also writing action scenes too fff fuck action scenes

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? Uhhh I’ve dabbled in both but yeah, more often than not I stick to more popular pairs just because I need content to motivate me pftt

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day? 50! 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/ with your writing program? Like WIPs? ffff WIPs...maybe like 4 or 5 at this point, including multichapters, and wow that’s actually not a lot, usually I have a ton and I’m drowning in them loool

14. Do you write down story ideas or just keep them in your head? Both...I usually just keep things in my head, but if a fic starts giving me issues, I like to plot it out

15. Have you ever co- authored a story? Nope, but I’d really love to at some point with a friend! 

16. How did you discover AO3? Uh I honestly don’t remember loool I think one day I sorta just saw that no one was using ff anymore and I was like ‘aight’ 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? Not really lmao, I mean...my siren au does pretty well, but otherwise my fics get kinda slept on -shrug- it is what it is 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? lol i do not

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? Well I’ve always loved to write so no, but @brynne-lagaao is a big reason I started writing sarumi fics back when I was in K fandom! And nowadays in the hq fandom, a lot of amazing authors really push me to keep writing ^^ 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? don’t be afraid to write and write whatever you want basically lmao I know it can be daunting if you think your writing skills aren’t matching up with other authors, but the best thing you can do is practice, practice, and eventually you will see results! Also read a lot, reading other ppl’s stories really helps, and above all, just have fun with it! 

21. Do you plot out your stories or do you just figure it out as you go? I try to have a basic plot (beginning, middle, end) because I used to just DIVE IN to stories and it was awful lmao I need some sort of guideline, even if it’s small

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? yes ofc, but I honestly try not to dwell on them because they’re not worth it. I either ignore or delete in most cases

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (Action, smut, etc) action and smut are never easy for me lol

24. What story(s) are you working on now? well right now I’m working on two secret santa fics for iwaoi, as well as my two kurotsuki multichapters! I am also trying to write kacchako as a x-mas present for a friend lol

25. Do you plan your new projects before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? ha yeah, it’s a bad habit but I have no self-control

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? I do not! I just try to write at least a little bit each day if I can, but there’s never a word minimum I try to reach ^^ 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started? oh 100% lmao comparing some of my old fics from even a year ago to my fics now is eye opening 

28. What is your favourite story that you have written? Shaking in My Skull for sarumi, it’s also the longest fic I’ve ever written and it holds a special place in my heart ; ; For kurotsuki it’s gotta be Let My Love 

29. What is your least favourite story that you have written? fuck me, Pencils and Paper LOL it was an earlier sarumi fic of mine and I just...hate it. I’m not even gonna link it LOL 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? Still writing fanfic most likely, maybe some original stuff (I hope!)

31. What’s the easiest part about writing? lmao nothing, writing is super hard work, sometimes even just thinking up ideas can be difficult, then there’s actually writing and making the ideas come to life, and don’t get me started on editing lmaooo writers are my heroes 

32. What is the hardest part about writing? Finding the motivation, at least for me. I struggle sometimes with it because I’ll have the time and inspiration but depression just kicks my ass every time fff

33. Why do you write? For me it’s super therapeutic, I love the satisfaction of putting hard work into an idea you love and finishing it, and the high that comes with that. Plus sharing the story with others and getting positive feedback is a feeling that can’t be beat. I’ve always loved writing, I love how the possibilities are endless, and I hope I never stop <3 

[reign-of-the-wolves]

THEM:

Hi Reading one of your recent comments on Soo It seems to be that you actually don't like her as a character not just the way she was written I think, it's just my assumption consider her as weak and a bit stupid Maybe I'm wrong

ME: It's both how she was written as a character and the character herself. Lol I've watched this series over 6 times now (partly to enjoy it with friends but also to analyze the story and characters for my own writing.) It may be the editing departments fault too with how they edited the final video

THEM: I think that the writing has a couple of flaws as every script has and it's ok but I put all blame on director and editor team.

Also, I think you really underestimate her and putting definition of a strong female lead in a very classic dimension when it comes to judging Soo, idk about others.

She was pretty much silly in the first eps and I didn't like her either. But there so much development that made me grow to like her more and more.

After all, of it wasn't her nothing would have happened. Even Eun's death supposed to happen because she meant to be there to story that we know in modern days could happen.

She's not even a bit weak. Just out yourself a modern day girl into her condition. Time travel, deaths of people that important to you and not most of them aren't natural. Tortures, a year of hard work of a water maid, ruined health, always aching knees and problem with heart. Const fear of hurting and affecting somebody's life, holding back with a person you falling in love with, then watching how his marrying other woman and suffering because of it, then leaving him not because you don't love him but because you have to and there's no other choice.

She's relatable in so many aspects even in Goryeo era. She's not super smart or strong or anything else, that what makes her so human. But she is so compassionate, hardworking.

ME: But it's not just my opinion 4 other of my friends (one of them having never seen Kdramas before) kinda of the same opinion. Her early eps were basically what kinda killed it.

Honestly my biggest thing is that there was no excuse for her behavior in the early episodes. (I didn't mind her too much after Court Lady Oh's death, but everything before that point she just didn't make sense to me... she would've realistically been executed) Even her being from another time can be a valid reason up to a point... before it becomes a writers scapegoat.

To me, if I had to pick a character from that show that was the most relateable and believably written, It would be Court Lady oh.

ME: it's just there's things that are common sense and common knowledge that anyone of any social class (modern or ancient) would know, and she somehow... didn't?? how to speak to royalty, and not get in a fight with them being for starters LOL

ME: the other things I can kinda loosely overlook as pure modern ignorance but there are some things that are just painfully jarring that make 0 sense for anyone in Korea or SE-Asia

ME: the more I watch and try to find reasons to sympathize with her or justify her behavior the more I can't-- especially when my friends are also asking me questions about why she's behaving a certain way. LOL I do try... I genuinelly do try (especially cause I want me friends to love this show as much as me) but I can't. xD I can't even objectively try to defend her character until after Court Lady Oh's death. and by that point when it comes to hr and wang So's relationship I can feel even less empathy for it aside from his character... XD

ME: I love wang So very very much, extremely deeply but their pairing made so little sense to me... that I couldn't even try to explain it to my friends xD Maybe the original book was different, but, this show didn't make work... this could be the fault of the editors and writers of the show

ME: 5 other friends of mine (my miscount I forgot how many I have seen this series with) Today at 10:06 AM

THEM: She was fearless and didn't want to let people humiliate her. Don't forget that she was a part of powerful Wook's household and people tear her as she is a mere child so I doubt that something would have happened to her. The only stupid thing that she did back then was beating Eun. She just couldn't stand his pervertism and decided to teach him a lesson.

I doubt that you know how to speak to medieval royalty as I have no clue how to speak to royalty from medieval Rus. Everything what I know is based on history books and tv series. I'm pretty sure it's far from accurate Also, Ha Jin's history knowledge was awfully poor. She couldn't even figure out that Gwangjong wasn't the second Goryeo king nor she didn't know that he actually didn't killed all his brothers. Her history knowledge was on a level of girl just appearing in history class auditorium without paying much attention.

For example? (What doesn't make sense for people in Kore and Asia)

Girl in original book is absolutely different just as 4th prince, they just took some main plot lines, everything else is different.

Their relationship was built on friendship, complete understanding of each other, they could see real nature of each other. Also, they're both idealistic and fight for truth, they're romantic and cherish freedom. They're really similar and I already told you about it.

ME: you sound mad? O-o are you mad at me or something? cause again this is just my own view point. LOL

THEM: Ahahah, no 😄

ME: okay LOL

ME: good XD

THEM: Sorry if I offend you

ME: nah you didn't I was worried of the reverse

THEM: I'm just giving you my point of view

ME: ^_^ ok

THEM: Because I'm just upset that you would rather erase Hae Soo from the story when she's basically the core of this narration

ME: LOL If I had to have a time traveling character beign the narration I'd persoanlly prefer a different character in her place. or even just have the narration from So's POV entirely or the original Hae Soo. :/  Sorry if I upset you it's just my oppinion and I'm not trying to like force it on ya LOL Today at 12:47 PM

THEM: But was hwarang female lead brilliantly written and was their romance developed? Like just to compare historical dramas that you watched.

It's not just So's story, initially it is a girls story, Koreans decided to share the focus with male lead as well.

It's fine, I get it. And you wouldn't be able to do it anyway 😄

ME: I liked the girl in the very very first episode. But after that first episode. THE VERY INSTANT SHE MET THE MALE LEAD... I ended up disliking her too the romance in Hwarang was just as bad as SHR

THEM: I'm afraid that you end up disliking all female leads in sageuk

ME: after that point TBH I kinda realized maybe it was Korean's media where they're so focused on shoehorning and shoving poorly developed romance down people's throats.... yeahhhh probably

THEM: But SoSoo wasn't poorly developed Can't agree with you It one of the most amazingly developed relationship in kdrama world In fiction I've run into And I love romance but only a good believable romance

ME: if that's the case then I am absolutely mortified to see other shows in Korea if that was considered the best in Kdrama world

THEM: Have you thought that it's a western mindset that makes you think that Soo and other female leads are weak

ME: my friend found the way he acted after she said she understood him absolutely jarring today ROFL

THEM: Ofc there are some one dimensional poorly written characters But I honestly saw many great girls

ME: Honestly I hate how a lot of media writes women in the West too I do think it could be a culture thing for me too, that maybe Korea and Japan idiolize these meek weak kinda "dense and quirky" women that NEED a man to function or at least the trope of it

THEM: Why it's so understandable

ME: in SE-Asian media

THEM: There's a parallel between his conversation with mother and this moment with Soo

ME: I know these countries are very sexist and women don't get a lot of respect over there.

THEM: Actually I feel like less sexist in historical way that Europe In Japan there were women samurais

ME: Oh I know in history it was fine till we came and shoved our noses in it

THEM: And I'm Goryeo women could divorce without damaging their honor

ME: or with confusnism

THEM: And all the property still belonged to them

ME: I'm not completely naive about Japan XD I did do research on the Samurai and the Minamoto family I also know in the Three Kingdoms era women were of equal

THEM: Japanese are more severe

ME: in fact one of them ruled err wait three of the women ruled Silla

THEM: Not completely equal but almost yeah

ME: What I'm saying is the roles of women changed roughly around the Joseon Dynasty and into the era where Christians started butting in well yeah not perfect but closer

ME: then it all turned to shit

THEM: Agree

ME: And yes maybe my Western upbringing has a lot to do with how I see it, but then again, I loved characters like Court lady Oh, Queen Hwangbo, (Hell I would even say- despite her corruption and being written as a bitch/antagonist-) I enjoyed Yeon Hwa's character and felt she was wonderfully developed. (no I do NOT ship Yeon hwa with WAng So) But I loved ALL these characters way more then I liked Soo because I felt they were better written and developed over all. Or WOo Hee for that mater I adored Woo hee and felt she was incredibly brace and strong

THEM: Ok but all these woman were ready to kill I like only Woo Hee from these three

ME: Court Lady Oh wasn't willing to kill. Also Lady Hae herself was another powerful and strong woman in her own right and she wasn't gunna kill anyone

THEM: But you say you liked these three

ME: both these women would've died (and one of them did) to protect the people they loved I forgot the other two xD well I mentioned Court Lady Oh XD but yeah basically any other woman in that show I found more engaging and compelling

THEM: Even Chae ryung? 😄 But Yeon Hwa was snake as well

ME: Soon Deok, Lady Oh, Lady Hae, Yeon Hwa, (hell even Yoo for being a horrible antagnosist and terible mother) Woo Hee.... all of these girls in my mind were better written and developed. yes even Chae Ryung I felt more emotion to all of these other women

THEM: But she was an evil traitor and liar

ME: in different ways yes but I felt SOMETHING I didn't nessicarily mean positive

THEM: Ok then I can say one thing

ME: or liking the character's decisions XD

THEM: You don't like Hae Soo in general Bc it's impossible to the same writers to write all these women and So itself To be poorly wrote Hae Soo in which I disagree ofc

THEM: You just don't like her for her character Like you found interesting everyone in this show except Hae Soo

ME: XD No I don't her character or how she was written...I felt 0 empathy for her on any level as a viewer, and I felt over all she made no sense as a character and was too unrealistic as a believeable character. I felt and could relate to the other characters in different ways. Yeon hwa for all her treachery I could see she was blindly pursuing her goals to protect her family (even though it was wrong). Lady Oh and Lady Hae and Woo Hee all were amazing and brave women yeah basically XD I did

THEM: Yeon Hwa wasn't protecting her family Like never

ME: It's not that I don't BLINDLY dislike her I have stated many times why I don't like or agree with her. ehh true XD she was just poisoned with greed but even she was interesting as a character

THEM: She just wanted power And So was for her just a beast to be tamed When Soo saw in him a kind hearted human and friend

ME: Well yeah XD I never liked YH and So together either

THEM: You didn't feel any empathy bc you didn't like her as a person, you felt no connection bc maybe you share only few traits with her. Most of the time when I watch dramas and movies, I feel no connection with characters. Especially western ones. I can say same things about beloved by many characters but I know that there are people who are like this particular heroine and they feel connection. Why she's not believable? She was betrayed many time, she fell for the wrong person, right person was always by her side and it took sonmuxh time to realize. She was to kind and to idealistic to realize many things earlier. I think it happened to many people. I felt her extremely relatable bc I would act same in many situations. Who am I kidding I would gone crazy after few days. But she had strength to not give up and accept the reality and live. She was acting so carelessly because she was allowed to, she felt love and protection from all the princes. She relaxed as if she was at home, in friendly atmosphere but after Lady Oh's death she realized that she can't and don't have right to live and behave like that anymore. It was a call that she's in medieval kingdom after all. I'm just saying that you don't feel empathy bc you don't like her as a person. And I feel like you belittle her and her strength

THEM: And I'm saying all of that considering how many times I was extremely mad at her and wanted to shout at her

Still I can't hate her or accuse in anything

She was in huge stress. She managed to survive for 10 in a toxic and suffocating atmosphere where she didn't belong.

ME: Yeah. XD Honestly I've stated many points on why I didn't like how she was written or her character as a character/person XD My friend who watched this series with me kinda pointed out to me too that she felt Hae Soo was "literally there to further the drama and development of the princes and she's a badly done character that was done injustice by baaaaaaaad writing." And my friend is in honors classes full scholarship majoring in developmental psychology. She likes a LOT of fiction, TV and admits she loves almost all types of characters and in her own words "has no standards for writing" xD IDK maybe we just see things differently My friend LOVED Wang so and the royal family and the story as a whole

ME: she just didn't like Soo either

ME: Maybe we should avoid the topic of Hae Soo when it comes to this show and stick to Wang So and the other Princes XD XD Cause yeah we'll never see eye to eye on it. might be safer that way ahahah ^_^;; I don't want to offend ya since you love her so much.

THEM: I don't even love her so much I really like her and I relate to her

ME: Ah Ok LOL xD Well either way I just really don't wanna step on toes XD

THEM: I just don't really get how you skip her in this story

THEM: It's unfair To the whole story and So itself Because neither of it happened without her She's a base of this story

THEM: Like if there's poorly written character - Jung Or he's just eternally stupid

ME: I loved So's development as HIM I just wished Hae Soo's character was different then I might support it more.

THEM: But she was a part of his development He wouldn't have became king without her

ME: I just didn't like him and Soo as a couple nor did I like how she was written nor her character itself.

I think he could've developed that same way were she a different person.

ME: Eh it's kinda like friend said, she was a plot device in that respect. xD

THEM: Fe She wasn't a plot device, she was a center of this story

ME: LOL Like I said, it's probably safer we don't bring up Hae Soo xD I could go on and on about Wang So and the rest of the family with positive praise. LOL

THEM: Ok give me an example of what kind of different female lead should have been there

ME: and deep love... but her... ehhhh character type?

THEM: I'm not the one who avoids uncomfortable topics Yes You also think she's unworthy of this love, right? Because she never showed it so openly as he did?

ME: (strictly character personality types, not ethnicity) Woo Hee, Lady Oh, Rose Tyler, Arwen, I could hoenstly go on

THEM: That's actually really funny that you mentioned lady oh Bc it's an older version of Hae Soo

ME: I mean after Lady Oh got wise to the world yes older and wiser much older and wiser matured

THEM: But nobody gets as older and wiser in such young age Without tough experience

THEM: You get wisdom from experience Fans you compare Woo Hee and Hae Soo/Ha Jin when they were raised ina different atmosphere It's same as people were comparing Wook and So

ME: I'm looking at personality types... not characters and backstory the**

THEM: But their character traits came from their experience

ME: I'm talking technical Like the character breakdown in writing

THEM: Oh, I see

THEM: Idk neither Arwen or Rose I can't see this kind of character in this kind of story

ME: not the characters themselves or their history.

Well no one is an elf from another world of fiction the other is a 21st century girl from London. XD But their character traits and personality/flaws are what I'm talking about. Not who they are or where they're from

THEM: Also, about Woo Hee. Her and Baek Ah and SoSoo are mirroring each other Showing that this type of people have light inside of them but life made them tondo some things that were corrupting them from the inside

ME: ehhhhhh they're different people maybe

THEM: They need someone with the light to help them to return to their natural state To soften their thorns That they forced themselves to grow in order to survive

THEM: Both of them didn't to chose to be who they are, the had to do it The other thing that showing is a Soo and Baek Ah talk in ep 19 Soo talks with Baek Ah possibly having her and So in mind Saying that Woo Hee wasn't selfish enough, she's the one who left and she's a bad guy

ME: hahahahahha yeahhh mental illnesss doesn't work that way... honestly that little comment really ticked me off.

THEM: Possibly referring to herself, fully recognizing that she and So weren't selfish and she's the bad guy, she hurts him badly by leaving him But as Woo Hee (here a woman sacrifice parallel) she leaves to protect So and their baby Which comment?

ME: the whole Woo Hee was the bad guy for killing herself kinda thing

ME: the context and situation was just bad for that cosnidering she committed suicide

THEM: She was more talking about herself

THEM: But she committed suicide not bc of mental illness She did that for Baek Ah and her people

ME: LOL Woo hee and soo are nothing alike... especially in that respect.

THEM: They both sacrificed their happiness for their beloved Soo just didn't die

ME: Woo Hee was unhappy from the start

THEM: Bc she was already severely ill and she had to deliver a healthy child

ME: even Baek Ah noticed that

THEM: Ofc she was She was a princess of fallen kingdom And had to become a kisaeng

ME: She probably suffered from depression and that was partially what drove her to suicide.

THEM: I think every single person in this story suffered from depression

ME: Well yeah.... xD in some ways But she was an extreme case

THEM: The other thing that her existence itself gave hope to Baekje people that their kingdom will be restored And So?

ME: So is a whole other can of worms with mental illness probably PTSD just to start

THEM: Let's be honest As a physical illnesses There's no completely mentally healthy person in this world And Soo? You think she wasn't traumatized? She had, in my opinion, the least stable situation

ME: she probably was and should've been...

ME: but the thing is

THEM: Because the huge contracts of upbringing and the reality she was put in The weight of responsibility and fear Fear that consumes

ME: that's even more of a reason why I felt she and So shouldn't have ever gotten together... and that their relationship (on top of the country) was toxic and unhealthy and should have never happened. and probably wouldn't have in reality

THEM: I just really familiar with this feeling when fear just blocks your rationality bc you just don't want to mess up Toxic and unhealthy?

THEM: There weren't any attachment, obsessions Jealousy And other stuff

ME: jealousy lies, possessiveness. For both of them it was an emotionally abusive relationship

THEM: Lies happens in all relationship Jealousy when? Emotional pain was cause not by them but by the circumstances they were put in

ME: she got sulky when he got married to Mu's kid (WHO WAS LIKE 12) she got jealous of YH,

THEM: If they lived in a hut in that village they would have grow old together with a  lot of children It wasn't jealousy

THEM: She thought he might be after throne And it's his ambition When she got jealous of Yeon Hwa?

ME: when she mentioned getting married to him... it wasn't outward but she refused to let go and see that she was not good for him as Queen. it was only when Ji Mong finally shut her down and told her how it is that it finally sunk in anyway this is just going in circles it's perspective and opinion. there's not enough content in the show to properly psycho analyze the characters sadly

ME: sadly**

THEM: Omg She wasn't jealous She simply didn't want the love of her lie to get married to other woman

ME: So was jealous of her though... and possessive

THEM: Bc she knew he didn't want it too He loves her

ME: I love him and I could justify it rationally

THEM: And proposed to her

ME: honestly it shouldve ended after Eun's death if not before then.

THEM: Relationship you're talking about is a complete utopia No lies, no jealousy

ME: LOOOL nah

THEM: Lies that told each other was motivated to protect each other for good Lame motive but still

ME: well yeahhhh it's called an honest and healthy one XD I'm not saying their aren't struggles but you don't lie to the person you claim to love.

THEM: In toxic relationship lies is motivated to manipulate your partner into doing what you want

ME: Lame motive and toxic in reality

THEM: Ofc you don't But you're measuring everyone from a modern mindset not considering that there's a whole empire on a stake besides them

THEM: That's the conflict of a whole story You can't have both a throne and love There's only one thing you can hold It not toxic It's problematic Toxic a strong word

ME: I'm very tempted to actually ask a psychologist this very thing someone who is certified to say what is toxic relationship and not given that period just to see if it's promlematic or genuinely a toxic circumstance

THEM: And when you say emotional pain. Well, in toxic relationship, emotional abuses is an intentional thing, right? They never did that, they never did something to each other to hurt and make them feel worse or unworthy, they did say something things to push each other bc they thought it would be better for them and will keep them safe.

THEM: I saw many discussions on tumblr on that matter Even from a psychologist

ME: uhhh unfortuantely tumblr is an echochamber of biasness

THEM: People who said it's toxic mainly aimed it on So

ME: and nah it's not always intentional

THEM: Other people said it's not And toxic relationship Soo nactually had with Wook

ME: you can be abusive and not realize it

THEM: But it's a natural thing We grow like that

THEM: It makes us stronger and wiser Then Baek Ah and Woo Hee is toxic Seon Deok and Wang Eun is toxic Ten and Rose is toxic Everything single relationship on tv and books is a toxic things

ME: Well asking my friend (who's taking psych) whether Soo and So were toxic... she didn't think so but she did think they weren't good for each other

THEM: Toxic is when relationship brings more pain and discomfort that joy and happiness but you can't quit due to development attachment and feelings

When it destroys your heart and soul

Am I right?

But SoSoo weren't destroyed by their love. They were destroyed by life and time, love was the only thing that brighten their days and kept them alive

ME: I wanted her imput because I feel she'd be more relatlly qualified and I DO sometimes misuse words

THEM: Now tell me, please, what are you favourite romances in fictional world that you think are healthy and perfect. So I could wholly understand your pov.

ME: There aren't any "perfect ones" but offhand Arwen and Aragorn... no not perfect but it was real Beren and Luthien, my friend said : A Court of Thorns and Roses Sarah J Mass Rhys/Freyre

also IMHO Keeping someone "safe" through lying takes away their agency and makes it seem like they're not competent to handle the situation Also jack/Ianto were great. 10/Rose Tyler were great they weren't perfect...

I don't read a lot of fiction I mostly watch TV shows and movies

ME: also katara and Anng from that TV series Avatar aang* PiperxLeo from Charmed

ME: Phoebe/Cupe from Charmed as well

ME: Peggy Carterx Steve Rogers

THEM: But Hae Soo actually couldn't handle the situation, like she couldn't stop the bloodshed in Wang family, only So could.

And when she was leaving him, she actually knew that he can hadnlaw the situation and marry her but it lead to clans rebellion, more blood and it will put him in huge danger

It wasn't a modern word, it's not that simple

Come on, like Ten didn't lie to Rose and didn't hurt her? Can't comment others not familiar

Piper and Leo - jealousy, lies, emotional hurting check check check, they even divorced

I'm mentioning things that you said about SoSoo, that's why I'm so repetitive

Phoebe and Cupe were unrealistically ideal and sugary and plane in my opinion

ME: I have read the comics too

THEM: Peggy and Steve they didn't even have a relationship Even a proper date Oh well

THEM: I'm judging by the movies It's just what you're mentioning appearing everywhere, in my opinion, it's just a context That makes it's toxic or not

ME: it's been years since I saw Charmed so  I'd have to rewatch it the show again.

THEM: Sometimes this checklists with definitions don't work I was obsessed so I remember some things