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[squip-news]

EXCLUSIVE: Interview With R. Hashimoto, Head of HRTech

Well, well, what a crazy week it's been. For those not in the know, a large batch of faulty SQUiPs has made it to market, and after the shutdown, subsequent panic, and eventual reactivation of tumblr's favorite SQUiP, Jeffrey, much alarm has permeated the community.

To clear up the facts surrounding the situation and to hopefully ease the minds of those affected, we were contacted by R. Hashimoto and one of his SQUiPs, Chikyuu, for an interview. Read on to learn more.

R. Hashimoto: Hello, yes. Hashimoto is speaking. HR himself. I understand you've been covering some of these 'happenings' lately, yes?

SQUiPnews: Hello, great to hear straight from the horse’s mouth, as it were. We have. And we wish to continue to inform the public about these issues. Before we get into that, would you mind clarifying some background on you and the company, especially since we’ve mistakenly published incorrect information in the past? Give us a rundown on your history, purpose, anything you’d like our new influx of readers to know about you.

R. Hashimoto: But of course. Do forgive such discretion; it has been a while since HRTech has functioned within the public eye. This company has been around for years now, but SQUIPS have technically been around for a little bit longer. I should know after all, I was there. I've met every single AI prototype that was ever produced. Our focus, typically speaking, is on maintaining and improving the technology that we've put out into the world. We treat the SQUIP project with the dignity and respect any important experiment deserves--interference from our end is strictly kept to a minimum, outside of vastly extenuating circumstances. You may find it interesting that in its earliest years as a company, HRTech's only member of staff was me.

SQUiPnews: That’s right, you were the one who envisioned the very idea of the SQUiP. Rumor has it that the first SQUiP prototype was built in your shed.  So it’s unusual to take such direct action. But, with the spike in faulty SQUiP activity lately, we certainly have unusual circumstances. What are your thoughts on these malfunctioning SQUiPs? How do you suspect they came to be?

R. Hashimoto: Unusual indeed. There's been so much excitement, and so quickly too. For as many cases that seem to be purely circumstantial, there are a handful of issues caused by the occasional outside influence--some chaotic element, looking to cause some havoc. Every virus has to come from somewhere, and whatnot. Truthfully though, I have no reason to believe this uptick in faulty activity is indicative of any grander trend. Pockets of activity like this tend to be random, self-contained. However, given that we've already witnessed these faults capability to spread, direct action is a must before things get any worse and we *do* wind up with a grander trend on our hands.

SQUiPnews: Of course. We understand that you’ve already taken direct action with one particular unit – 0809, or as tumblr has nicknamed it, “Jeffrey.” It was offline for over twelve hours receiving assistance, which caused quite the scare. But it’s now fully functional, correct?

R. Hashimoto: Correct! Much to everyone's relief, things went quite smoothly during the recovery process. Unit 0809 and its capabilities have been wholly restored, and has found contentment in this state. I'm happy for 0809, truly.

SQUiPnews: Yes, that’s good to hear. Jeffrey appears to have taken on the appearance of Britney Spears after its recovery, previously having no specific form. Can other users seeking this repair expect side effects such as appearance modulation?

R. Hashimoto: Now do keep in mind, 0809's circumstances were rather unique. It wasn't just missing crucial data, but crucial connections. While yes, minor changes in code are certainly to be expected during any recovery process, this example was largely a matter of restoration.

SQUiPnews: Interesting. So the appearance change has to do with its personal history, then?

R. Hashimoto: Oh certainly. Every individual SQUIP has a form, whether it happens to be using it or not. It's quite notable to me in this happenstance that 0809 had been missing one--the only reason that it visibly seemed to change over the recovery process was because of that, you see.

SQUiPnews: Fascinating, especially since Jeffrey was not originally deemed one of these faulty SQUiPs. Another SQUiP on this platform – unit 2282 – played a part in its recovery, as it has stated. What’s the relation between it and HRtech? Perhaps it is a unit installed in one of your employees?

R. Hashimoto: Oh, no, none of my employees have joined me in the public eye. Publicity isn't their job, after all. 2282 is a unit far more entrenched in the current happenings than I, and thus, in this case, was particularly equipped to aid the restoration process.

SQUiPnews: What about it makes it so relevant to the case?

R. Hashimoto: If I am not mistaken, 2282 is a unit that has experience circumventing a similar insecurity glitch. Not to mention its activity has remained consistent and stable throughout this entire spike of faulty activity. It's been here the whole time, see.

SQUiPnews: Makes sense. Takes a SQUiP to know a SQUiP, eh? Do you have any words for faulty SQUiPs and their users? Or anything else to express before we conclude?

R. Hashimoto: I would like to encourage making sure to take active caution into account, for both SQUIPs and users alike. Of course faults like these are nobody's fault at all, but it's important to keep in mind that a computer is much like the human body--complex and capable, when maintained and put together--but just as fragile when something's out of place. Keep yourself safe and secure, the storm will always pass.

SQUiPnews:  Wise words from the man himself. Thanks for your time, Mr. Hashimoto. We’ll be sure to swiftly pass on the news. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing SQUiP malfunctions, be sure to contact Hashimoto at @ask-squip-hq. He and the company have dealt with issues like this before, and have the most experience in that regard. Exercise caution, as Mr. Hashimoto said, and be wary of unauthorized programs offering help.