#[it's funny cause it's true]

[sluttypatrickstar]

[turkeysandyellowroses]

[addicted-to-his-knife]

[bookish-bogwitch]

Sonic Sunday

I'm finally getting started on my @caught-on-tape-fest podfics and learning Audacity as I go because I'm congenitally incapable of watching a YouTube software how-to for more than 5 seconds, but apparently able to dick around mashing buttons indefinitely.

Here's an outtake from a bit of @mostlymaudlin's Crisp and Sweet that warmed my Granite State heart. Simon and Baz are in the White Mountains, leaf peeping, Simon POV:

@skee3000 @sseawitch @ileadacharmedlife @petedavidsonscock @moodandmist @fatalfangirl know what's up

[my-top-gun-loves]

Hangman: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Maverick: You mean like literally or figuratively?

Hangman:

Hangman: You really need me to specify on that one?

[anarchomikeism]

[ani-bunnie13]

[appears]

older sister magic.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Kinne Tonight - Say Cheese

Date: Jun 22, 2019

Wait on, I'll just ask this guy. Excuse me, would you mind taking a photo of us?

Yeah, no problem.

Thank you.

Okay, everybody say "cheese!"

Oh, actually, I'm a vegan. Could you please have us say something else?

Okay, everybody say "tofu."

Tofu's not actually as good for you as vegans think. Any crossfitter'll tell you that. It's bad for your testosterone levels.

Okay, I'm sorry, how about we all just smile?

Oh, if one more asshole asks me to smile.

Not really an asshole, taking a photo for you, so.

What's there to smile about anyway?

Okay... would you like me to just count backwards from 3?

Oh, would you like dyslexic people to just not exist?

My cousin has dyslexia so, offended.

Adopted. Don't even know who my cousins are so, more offended.

How about this? We all put a word we're comfortable with in our heads and I'll get the shot.

No, doesn't sound very inclusive though, does it? I supposed you'd like us all to stand a few meters apart would you, Stalin?

Jesus Christ.

Well, I don't see what religion has to do with this.

Well, I'm an atheist so, majorly triggered.

Is that a comment on the gun debate? Still trying to control people.

It's not just the people. Has anyone thought about the animals?

Look, this is what we're gonna do. Everybody throw up a peace sign and I'll take a photo.

Wow. Cultural appropriation is alive and well. Why don't you just ask us to say "kung-fu"?

Guess what, new plan. Group selfie. Ready, set, go. Boom. And looks awesome, you're gonna love it.

What?

Nice to meet you.

You took it with the front camera you stupid cyclist dick!

[nhaneh]

FFXIV ad campaign based on the infamous Daikatana posters but instead saying "YoshiP's about to make you cry."

[scarefox]

them: How did you become so good and fast at writing on a keyboard?

me: decades of typing tags under every post that goes over my blog on tumblr.com

[axristes-styseis]

If you are into me , please make an appointment with a psychiatrist

[fruitbatwoman]

Source: Mart Virkus (@arcaderage)

[linklewinklewoman]

"Pre Battle Chatter"

Linkle: I have the most powerful weapon in all the metaverse.

Gogo: Oh yeah? And what is that?

Linkle: This gun I found.

[littlecaesar]

New t-shirt for @prxestess and Caesarion just dropped.

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[naughty-eske]