#[welcome to clone world ford]

[agentnico]

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) Review

This being a third entry in a Jurassic trilogy, I half expected another raptor to come into Alan Grant’s dreams and say his name methodically. That didn’t happen though. Still, Dominion does keep up the trend with the diminishing quality cycle of the Jurassic films.

Plot: Four years after the destruction of Isla Nublar, dinosaurs now live and hunt alongside humans all over the world. This fragile balance will reshape the future and determine, once and for all, whether human beings are to remain the apex predators on a planet they now share with history's most fearsome creatures in a new Era.

Jurassic World was a surprising and successful return of the Jurassic Park franchise, bringing us a modern day take on the dinosaur formula whilst still in-keeping a nostalgic homage to the original trilogy. Then Fallen Kingdom happened that caused us all to scratch our heads in wonderment as to where the hell they were taking this narrative. Like what’s the deal with the clone girl? Who came up with that poppy-cock??! Anyway, now Dominion arrives, bringing us great spectacle, the return of the cast from the old original films, lots of excitement and a promise to bring us a finale to this era of the franchise. So of course this must be an improvement on.....ah no, scrap that, it’s once again about the clone girl. They’re sticking with that plot-line. They’re taking it full speed ahead. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no. Look, as much as the clone girl narrative is silly and ridiculous, I would have been okay for there to have been a science fiction film with that story-line. That would have been alright. But why bring that narrative into a Jurassic movie? We watch these movies for the dinosaurs, not cloned humans! And heck, after the cliff-hanger of Fallen Kingdom where dinosaurs were let out to free roam the world, this movie had one job. Dinosaurs in the human world. What we get instead is yet another generic plot about yet another mad scientist experimenting on dinos in his super secretive isolated compound. How. Very. Original. 

Speaking of the mad CEO scientist though, this guy...... what a performance! Every line he said was so lifeless and monotone, and when he spoke, all the other actors looked at him as if he were improvising and going off script, but everyone was too afraid of him to say anything so just went along with it. To be fair, I’d be afraid too. A man with such zero personality? What’s he thinking? What’s he about to do?? I don’t know!! The guy is unpredictable and may be dangerous. Or maybe not. I have no clue! Not worth the risk though. Campbell Scott, you truly have given us a performance! However in terms of the other cast members, I must say since the last movie all of them seem to have lost any kind of personality. Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt, especially the latter, are just straight faced action stars now and that’s it. Pratt used to have a little charm and charisma to him, even in the first Jurassic World movie, but now he just stands there like “Look at how cool I am! I am a cool bloke! Who’s cool?? That’s right, I am!” The little girl that plays the clone, goodness gracious me. Every time she spoke I felt like she was in a soap opera like Coronation Street or EastEnders. So over dramatic!! As for the actors from the original films, Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern make for a welcome return, even though the script evidently doesn’t know what to do with them. Sam Neill seems to be doing his impression of a rugged Indiana Jones, hat and all, which kind of now makes me want to see a film where Neill and Harrison Ford play brothers on an adventure quest.

Jurassic World: Dominion suffers most in its script. The dialogue writing is abysmal, and most of the plot points only exist to drive the characters from one action sequence to the next. There is also way to much story, all in different locations, and is overly convoluted for no reason. Basically what I’m saying is, this little small $185 million budget Hollywood motion picture is quite the mess. There’s good visual effects though. And the dino-dino’s look cool. That’s about it though. This is indeed the Jurassic Park III to this new Jurassic World trilogy. Love that mad CEO scientist fella though. What a lad!!

Overall score: 3/10

[sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart]

The best and worst films of 2019

It was of the general consensus that 2019 was a truly amazing year for cinema, with audiences treated to a wide and impressive array of films. As usual, the year produced a number of sure bets from both well known directors and arthouse favourites, but it also treated cinemagoers to some truly unexpected treats from the cinematic mainstream.

Having watched just over 100 films (released in Australia), those that made this year’s ‘best list’ have been selected on the basis of the lasting impression they have left on this viewer after the lights have come up and the curtain’s been drawn.

So, what succeeded and what failed?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration…

50. READY OR NOT

49. GLASS

48. HAL (DOCUMENTARY)

47. STUDIO 54 (DOCUMENTARY)

46. HOTEL MUMBAI

45. THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT

44. CRAWL

43. MISSING LINK

42. SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK

41. THE CLOVEHITCH KILLER

40. BURNING

39. AVENGEMENT

38. YESTERDAY

37. THE SISTERS BROTHERS

36. BRIGHTBURN

35. FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY

34. HAIL, SATAN (DOCUMENTARY)

33. VELVET BUZZSAW

32. COLD PURSUIT

31. STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

30. SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME

29. BEN IS BACK

28. THUNDER ROAD

27. THE REPORT

26. TOY STORY 4

25. MID 90′S

24. LAST BREATH (DOCUMENTARY)

23. VOX LUX

22. GLORIA BELL

21. THE FAREWELL

20. SHAZAM

19. FREE SOLO (DOCUMENTARY)

18. KNIVES OUT

17. BOOKSMART

16. DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE

15. US

14. ROCKETMAN

13. AD ASTRA

12. JOJO RABBIT

11. MIDSOMMAR

10. APOLLO 11 (DOCUMENTARY)

Though this outstanding assemblage of archival footage about the 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing featured no narration, interviews or analysis, director Todd Douglas Miller successfully managed to create an amazingly beautiful and surreal experience about one of humanities greatest achievements. Featuring never-before-seen footage of both the launch and the mission itself, ‘Apollo 11′ was as thrilling as any sci-fi and eye-wateringly beautiful to behold. 

9. EIGHTH GRADE

It was an impressive year for many ‘coming-of-age’ films (‘Booksmart,’ ‘Good Boys,’ ‘Mid 90′s’) but it was writer-director Bo Burnham’s poignant and sensitive exploration of the challenges of early adolescence in the age of social media that really resonated. Focusing on the socially awkward Kayla - played with exquisite, jittery control by teen actor Elsie Fisher - ‘Eighth Grade’ was a thoughtful observation on the universal truths of growing up in the modern age.

8. FORD V FERRARI

With director James Mangold at the wheel, ‘Ford V Ferrari’ was a highly enjoyable sports car racing movie that left audiences with a lasting and highly satisfying impression all the way to the finish line. Based on the rivalry between the car manufacturers Ford and Ferrari in their pursuit to win the 24 hour Le Mans sports car race in 1966, ‘Ford V Ferrari’ featured heart-pounding racing sequences and impeccable performances from Matt Damon & Christian Bale.

7. THE NIGHTINGALE

Though not a horror film in the strictest definition of the term, you were less likely to find a more horrific cinematic experience this year than Australian director/writer Jennifer Kent’s 'The Nightingale.’ Kent's follow up to her critically acclaimed debut ‘The Babadook' was an extremely unsettling and bleak revenge tale, that relentlessly beat the audience with its unflinching violence and depictions of cruel racism. 

6. AVENGERS: ENDGAME

"Part of the journey is the end...” A cathartic and satisfying experience for all MCU fans worldwide, 'Avengers: Endgame' was everything we needed and more than we deserved. Full of callbacks and emotional pay-offs 10+ years in the making, ‘Avengers: Endgame' was a thrilling conclusion and a deeply emotional exploration of loss and love, duty and honour, friendship and family. Just remember to lean into the tears.

5. JOKER

Whether you ended up either loving or hating ‘Joker,’ there was no denying that the landscape of cinematic comic book adaptations had been changed forever. Drawing inspiration from Martin Scorsese’s ‘Taxi Driver’ and ‘The King of Comedy’ and featuring Joaquin Phoenix’s magnificently dedicated and exhaustive performance, ‘Joker’ was a truly outstanding cinematic achievement that would be discussed and debated for many years to come.

4. THE IRISHMAN

A magisterial entry in his long and masterful career, Martin Scorsese’s violent yet poignant crime epic featured flawless performances from a stellar ensemble cast (De Niro, Pacino, Pesci, Keitel). With a script that was nothing short of a master work, coupled with an intricate production design and stylish cinematography, ‘The Irishman’ felt like an apt end point for Scorsese’s fascination in narratives detailing the ultimate price that comes from a life of sin.

3. PARASITE

Renown South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho already had an impeccable track record (’The Host,’ ‘Snowpiercer,’ ‘Okja’) but really stepped up his game with this brilliant and powerfully revealing social satire. An intricate look at modern-day social hierarchies, ‘Parasite’ kept flipping audience expectations with its radical shifts in tone - from clever comedy to violent, dark tragedy - whilst delivering some brilliant thematic elements. 

2. MARRIAGE STORY 

Writer-director Noah Baumbach’s drama about the pain of the divorce process was a phenomenally crafted piece of cinema. A tragic tale amplified by both Baumbach’s screenwriting genius and tour-de-force performances from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson, ‘Marriage Story’ highlighted the struggles of an everyday situation and the real efforts to maintain it, leaving audiences with heavy hearts and thoughts.

1. ONCE UPON A TIME...IN HOLLYWOOD

Set against the backdrop of Hollywood’s changing of the guard and the looming large presence of the Manson Family, ‘Once Upon A Time...in Hollywood’ was a melancholy, slow burning, comedic love letter to a filmmaking era long gone, and easily one of Quentin Tarantino’s best films.

As a wonderfully painted portrait of 1969 Hollywood, Tarantino delivered something truly special - a cinematic opus featuring so many film references, both obscure and in your face, that it was an absolute delight for cinephiles everywhere to luxuriate in the sights and sounds of this historical fantasy. 

Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt delivered the most emotionally vulnerable performances of their careers as soon-to-be has-beens, whilst the film’s vibrant production and costume design and playful soundtrack perfectly captured a snapshot of a special place and time in film history.

If Tarantino is still adamant to call it quits on his directing career after his next movie, ‘Once Upon A Time...in Hollywood’ was a timely reminder that we should all definitely try to enjoy the filmmaker whilst we still can.

...AND NOW, THE WORST!

20. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE

19. THE MULE 

18. STUBER

17. AT ETERNITY’S GATE

16. IT: CHAPTER 2

15. THE BANANA SPLITS MOVIE

14. HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U

13. ALADDIN

12. ANGEL HAS FALLEN

11. TERMINATOR: DARK FATE

10. CAPTIVE STATE

Director Rupert Wyatt, the brains behind the effective ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ reboot, easily delivered one of the worst sci-fi films of the year. Despite a premise filled with potential and talent both in front of and behind the screen, ‘Captive State’ was a major disappointment. The screenplay (co-written by Wyatt) was an epic mess of confusion that lacked both a compelling narrative and characters to hold it together, resulting in a huge misstep for all involved.

9. RAMBO: LAST BLOOD

It’s ironic a film franchise that started out telling the sad story of a man trying to show an uncaring world he was still a human being should have its final chapter demonstrate the exact opposite. This much touted ‘final entry’ in the Rambo saga was a deeply unpleasant and unnecessary exercise that featured little wit, inventiveness or originality. The character of John Rambo deserved a better swan song than ‘Rambo: Last Blood,’ and so did we.

8. GEMINI MAN

Directed by Ang Lee and starring Will Smith as a government assassin facing off against a clone of his younger self, ‘Gemini Man’ was an empty and tiresome thriller dressed up in a lot of fancy tech, and Smith’s biggest box office flop since ‘Wild, Wild West.’ Despite costing $138 million to produce, all the Hollywood SFX wizardry in the world couldn’t excuse a lifeless picture, with the final result nothing more than a bland action clone.

7. THE LION KING

Soulless was how best to describe Disney's shot-for-shot live action version of the 1994 animated classic. The core failure of this latest incarnation of 'The Lion King' was the studio’s inexplicable choice to go fully photorealistic with the animation. The animal characters may have all been zoologically accurate, but there was absolutely zero expression or emotion conveyed in their faces (let alone the voice talent). Sadly, ‘The Lion King' was nothing more than a cash grab that relied heavily on the nostalgia and success of the original, 

6. WELCOME TO MARWEN

Robert Zemeckis, the director behind such cinematic gems as ‘Forrest Gump,’ ‘Back to the Future’ and ‘Cast Away,’ was also responsible for this woeful and misguided outing. Despite being based on the true story of a man learning to cope with a terrible trauma through the power of art and imagination, ‘Welcome to Marwen’ focused its attention on the visuals of the story instead of its narrative. Our advice? Watch the original 2010 documentary ‘Marwencol.’

5. THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA

Let’s cut straight to the point - the reason Hollywood keeps making cheap, crappy horror films with little, if any, imagination is because they will always make their money back within the opening weekend. And ‘The Curse of La Llorona’ was a prime example of this, a formulaic slab of supernatural dirge destined to be forgotten by year’s end. Filled with jump scares, loud musical cues and devoid of any originality, horror fans deserved better than this.

4. MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL

Despite the box office success of the first ‘Men in Black’ film and its two well-received sequels, ‘Men in Black: International’ was a dull and dreadful reboot that severely tarnished the franchise. There were all sorts of bad things happening in this fourth film, but none were as unforgivable as wasting the talents of both Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thomspon. You didn’t need your memory wiped after this one - the movie did it for you.

3. DARK PHOENIX

The ‘X-Men’ films have been less hit and more miss in recent times and, unfortunately for fans, ‘Dark Phoenix’ closed out the this once-great franchise in an extremely disappointing fashion. Suffering from extensive rewrites and reshoots to the point where not even the film's stars knew which characters they were playing, ‘Dark Phoenix’ was a far cry from the pitch-perfect conclusion James Mangold gave us with the vastly superior ‘Logan.’

2. HELLBOY

Director Neil Marshall’s bloody misfire of the ‘Hellboy’ franchise was a damned mess, undeserving of both your hard-earned money and your valuable time. The film’s storytelling was clumsy rather than clever, the atmosphere oppressive rather than immersive and the characters colourless rather than captivating. Try to imagine Guillermo del Toro’s original two movies, except without any spark, wit, fun, tension and excitement. Absolute hell, boy!

1. CATS

Don’t act as if you’re surprised by this year’s winner of worst film - ‘Cats’ was an epic misfire, deserving of the vitriol it received from critics everywhere (the furry community, however, LOVED IT).

From the initial spark of the thought that turning Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical into a film would be a good idea, the project was doomed. With every single decision involved in this movie more baffling than the last, the biggest and most fundamental problems were the concept design of the cats themselves and there being absolutely no semblance of a plot.

Despite there being pussy galore, ‘Cats’ failed to capture any sense of spectacle or fun, and instead plodded through an inane, boring and predictable story that was used mostly as a platform for some big West End musical numbers and A-list cameos.

Watching your neighbour’s cat lick its own arse was far more enjoyable to behold than this cinematic disaster.

[unexpectedreylo]

Spoilerific Thoughts On “Solo”

Rosé All Day In The GFFA!

As of writing, I’ve seen the movie twice and I really enjoyed it both times.   Forget those tales of a troubled production; Ron Howard made a solidly entertaining, fun film with lots of goodies and surprises for fans of most stripes.

“Solo” is basically a heist movie and a Marvel-esque origin story at the same time.  When we meet Everyone’s Favorite Smuggler, he’s a runaway living in Corellia’s dark and filthy underworld hoping for the big score to get him and his girlfriend Qi’ra away from their Fagin-like “master.”   We march through Han’s escape from Corellia, how he ended up with his last name, his abrupt and necessary decision to go to the Imperial Academy, his time as an Imperial officer, his first meeting with Chewbacca, and his re-entry into the galaxy’s underworld with his mentor, Tobias Beckett.  We witness his first meeting with Lando Calrissian and finding the love of his life, at least the one that isn’t a breathing person, the Millennium Falcon.  The famous sabacc game?  It’s there.  So’s the legendary Kessel Run.  All of the while, Han’s penchant for trouble and not listening to anyone but himself puts him in danger over and over.  It’s all great character development and enjoyable to watch.  But there’s more!  In “Solo,” we see the gray and topsy-turvy world of the galaxy’s criminal class.  Sometimes it appears glamorous and beautiful, sometimes it looks just like what it is:  dirty and awful.  The good turns out to be bad and the bad turns out to be good.  All of the while, Beckett reminds Han never to trust anyone.

So, you might ask, what did you think of Alden Ehrenreich?  Alden was in the same crappy position that Chris Pine was in while playing Captain Kirk in the more recent Star Trek films; it’s very difficult to step into a very famous role played by a very famous actor.  Ewan McGregor had a similar problem but because he played Obi-Wan decades younger, it gave him a lot more wiggle room to define the character himself while making it credible he and Alec Guinness were playing the same guy.  Ehrenreich and Pine were playing their respective roles less than 20 years younger than their more legendary incarnations.  That’s tough.  I’m certain some people are blowing off this film simply because they can’t accept someone else playing Han Solo.  The other side of that coin is it’s precarious in HOW you play the character.  Take on too much of Ford’s affectations, it looks like an impersonation, one that could descend into parody fast.  Completely ignore them and people won’t connect that it’s Han Solo at all.  Now, Ehrenreich doesn’t really look much like Ford.  He’s shorter, his nose is smaller, the whole shape of his face is different.  There’s only a bit of resemblance around the eyes and the makeup people thoughtfully added Ford’s chin scar.  It’s a little jarring when you realize that eventual son Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) really does look related to Ford while Ehrenreich looks like neither one of them.  My mom the movie critic, who saw the movie with me and my brother the first time, thought Ehrenreich is actually better-looking than Ford.  But (and there’s always a but) attitude can make up for a lack of resemblance.  More on that in a second.  For what it’s worth, Ehrenreich does have the right attitude.  It’s like seeing a more boyish Han, one who gets by on b.s. and bluster, who’s a tiny bit full of himself, and who hasn’t experienced a decade’s worth of betrayals yet to come and other things that made him far more world-weary in ANH.  This Han is charming and self-assured, a cinnamon roll whose circumstances define him but won’t defeat him and turn him into well, Qi’ra.  From this movie, it’s easy to see why he was drawn to Rey in TFA.  He saw a lot of himself in her.

Everyone does a pretty bang up job in the film performance-wise.  I have to say Donald Glover absolutely kills it as Lando.  Glover doesn’t really look like Billy Dee Williams but he’s got the Lando-ness down perfectly:  the smoothness, the vague sleaziness, the flair for fashion, and all around cool.  He even nailed Williams’s way of speaking without making it an impersonation.  Glover has so much charisma in the part, I really wouldn’t mind seeing him again in his own adventure.  Woody Harrelson was an excellent fit as Beckett.  Harrelson brings his own charisma and worldliness as the father figure who initiates Han into the life that as prophesized, he never got out of.  Casting him was a great idea.  Also worthy of mention is Phoebe Waller-Bridge as L3-37, or simply “L3.”  Funny and sassy, you’ll be touched by her short time onscreen.  And the mysterious Enfys Nest (Erin Kellyman) who turns out to be not quite what we thought.

The surprise in this turned out to be Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra.  Of all the new characters, she’s easily the most fascinating.  She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, and tough but also a bit of a femme fatale.  She has a heart but she’s also hungry and hell bent on not ending up a Corellian street rat again.   She is what Han could have been with a few degrees of difference in his personality or more time spent a virtual slave on Corellia, what Rey could have been had she decided to trade on her looks and feminine wiles for material security from crime bosses.  The interesting thing about her is she clearly cares about Han.  I don’t know if she loves him per se but she does care about him enough to know she has to protect him from her.  She’s sort of like that old Amy Winehouse song, “You Know I’m No Good.” Paul Bettany’s character and Beckett both warn Han that he doesn’t know her as well as he thinks he does and that she’s done some pretty bad things.  We know for sure she allied herself with a crime syndicate that has committed atrocities and well, we find out toward the end how far her darkness extends.  She accepts Han’s affections but to a point.  Why?  She knows they can’t get attached.  At the end, when she splits in the mobile Crimson Dawn HQ, it seems to parallel the last Force bond seen in TLJ.  In TLJ, Rey has to do it for her own sake as well as Kylo’s.  In this movie, Qi’ra does it for Han’s own good.  The more he’s kept away from this stuff the better, not so much IMO she fears that lifestyle would destroy him as she realizes at some point her knife has to go between Han’s shoulder blades if he keeps hanging around.

Poor Han.  Not only can the guy never escape trouble, he’s constantly faced with betrayal throughout his life, which it is easy to see why he leans so much on Chewie.  Say what you will about Chewbacca, but he’s the one of the very few beings who never lets Han down.  Sadder yet are the implications of Han’s upbringing and his relationships with authority/father figures.  In one conversation with Lando, Han mentions his blue collar dad that he wasn’t close to.  Who knows what THAT relationship was like?  Han tells his Imperial recruitment officer that he “has no people,” so the officer christens him Solo.  (For all we know, Han’s real last name is Wallbanger or Horowitz or Seymour-Butts.)  Why Han was on the streets is still a mystery.  Did Han simply run away from home?  Was it disagreement and butting heads or was there severe dysfunction, i.e. addiction, abuse, neglect?  Did Han do something to the old man?  We don’t know and it’s not like Han to tell.  Han takes to Beckett as a surrogate father figure who of course betrays him.  Another fascinating and tragic parallel takes place near the end of the movie.  Most people pay attention more to the “Han shot first” aspect of it rather than how this scene predicts Han’s eventual fate in TFA.  Han kills his father figure just as his own son will eventually kill him.  Han of course was acting in self-defense but it’s tragic all the same.  Han’s family situation also predicts the struggles he has in his relationship with Ben Solo.  In this context it makes sense that a man who had no idea what a dad is like would struggle to be one himself, especially since he’s almost or at middle age when it finally happens.

Another thing to love about “Solo” is its careful attention to the mythos.  The film has the style and feel of Brian Daley’s novels from back in the day, while much of Han’s backstory, known to Star Wars lore fans for decades, is in here.  Moreover, elements from the expanded universe, video games, The Clone Wars, and the prequels are brought in to great effect.  Teras Kasi?  Glee Anselm?  The Maw?  Carrida?  Aurra Sing’s fate? Colo claw fish roe as an appetizer?  It’s all in here!

I will say this:  DARTH MAUL’S SHOCK CAMEO GIVES ME LIFE!!!

I blurted out, “What the hell?!”  when he turned up at the end of the film.  (I also had to explain to my brother, who had never seen The Clone Wars or Rebels, why Maul was still alive.)  A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.  That Qi’ra is working for him has a whole host of implications for her and possibilities for Maul to return in other Star Wars canon.  And yes, that’s Ray Park reprising his role and Sam Witwer voicing him.

“Solo”’s score is pretty good, a mix of original and unique music and John Williams’s classic scores.  Listen for some fun callbacks like “Asteroid Chase” from TESB.

Like “Rogue One,” “Solo” is a smaller movie than the bigger, sweeping main saga flicks.  It doesn’t have TLJ’s artistic ambitions or haunting quality.  But there’s room for a movie that’s pure fun with a few more layers than expected.

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, September 14

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Why Prince Charles married Princess Diana instead of Camilla Parker Bowles 

Page 2: Best-loved movie couples -- Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally, Ghost, The Notebook, Grease, Dirty Dancing, Brokeback Mountain, West Side Story, The Bridges of Madison County, Gone With the Wind 

Page 4: Julia Roberts -- style showstoppers -- her sensational looks on and off the red carpet 

Page 6: Lots of restaurants and bars are being forced to close due to the coronavirus pandemic including the famous Cheers bar where everybody knows your name 

Page 7: Katy Perry gave the world a sneak peek at one of the adorable items she’s got for her baby daughter -- a onesie covered in fiance Orlando Bloom’s face, Alyssa Milano beat a nightmarish five-month bout of the coronavirus and now the star says she’s losing her hair, Tiger Woods’ son Charlie is following in his dad’s footsteps by blowing away the competition at a junior golf tournament where his dad acted as his caddie, Angelina Jolie has been staying at home during the pandemic with her six kids and a slew of pets all running around causing mayhem but she’s loving it 

Page 8: What you may not know about males -- a few good men facts 

Page 9: Ask your doctor about COVID precautions -- 10 things to know before you step back into life 

Page 10: Eclipse the dog doesn’t mind the daily commute -- this Seattle pooch rides the bus by herself every day to the park 

Page 11: Your Health -- stay strong against autumn ailments, grapefruit’s great for you 

Page 12: The truth about Michael Jackson can finally be revealed: before his untimely death in 2009 he cloned his DNA -- Michael was very excited to have himself cloned and he wanted to live forever and was obsessed with immortality 

Page 14: Dear Tony -- don’t fear or waste your God-given talent

Page 15: Congratulations to Hester Ford of Charlotte who is America’s oldest person and turned 116 on August 15 

Page 16: Truth about Pat Sajak and Vanna White revealed -- Wheel of Fortune stars tell all after 45 years 

Page 18: One of the perks in the White House or running for office there is getting to choose your own Secret Service code name 

Page 20: Cover Story -- Why Prince Charles wed Diana Spencer instead of his true love Camilla Shand -- family betrayal led to doomed royal marriage 

Page 22: Faith Hill and Tim McGraw threw a family album release party with their three daughters for Tim’s new album

Page 24: A nine-year-old boy who has been in foster care for six years wants only to have a mom and dad or just mom or just dad and now he has 5000 potential parents to choose from 

Page 25: 9 surprising uses for hydrogen peroxide 

Page 26: Classic TV child stars today -- what your favorites are doing now -- Erin Murphy of Bewitched, Keith Thibodeaux of I Love Lucy, Jerry Mathers of Leave It to Beaver, Jon Provost of Lassie, Jay North of Dennis the Menace, Lisa Loring of The Addams Family 

Page 28: At the age of 87 Carol Burnett is facing her greatest challenge -- she’s trying to rescue her grandson from the dangerous home of his addict mom 

Page 30: The Good Doctor -- 10 signs you will live to 100 

Page 31: Bloating isn’t always from overeating, hidden dangers of varicose veins 

Page 38: Break out of bad moods 

Page 43: Tony’s Mystic World -- look within for happiness, cats are the top quarantine companions 

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Brooke Shields works out at her house in the Hamptons (picture), Cher tried to volunteer with the post office but was turned down, Larry King lost two of his five kids within three weeks, Sarah Hyland is joining Ty Burrell for a new comedy series, Artem Chigvintsev is returning to Dancing With the Stars after being cut from season 28, in other DWTS news judge Len Goodman is on the mend after having skin cancer removed from his face, Lea Michele and husband Zandy Reich welcomed a baby boy Ever Leo 

Page 45: Oliver Stone attends a film festival in Rome (picture), Rod Stewart and wife Penny Lancaster indulge in a romantic gondola ride in Venice (picture), Jennifer Lahmers plays volleyball (picture), the blaze that heavily damaged the upstate New York home of Rachael Ray started accidentally in a chimney, Justin Bieber is gushing about his newborn niece Iris, Alison Sweeney is reprising her role of Sami Brady on Days of Our Lives for an emotional story line 

Page 46: The human body is home to hundreds of trillions of alien-like life forms and instead of being unwelcome intruders these single-cell hitchhikers help keep us alive 

Page 47: Height of Fame -- these stars reveal the highs and lows of being 6-foot-5 -- Dwayne Johnson, John Corbett, Tyler Perry, Tim Robbins, Vince Vaughn, Joe Manganiello, Armie Hammer 

[localocksmithnearme]

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Ford F150 key replacement in San Antonio TX

One of the main component of any Ford F150 is it's lock and key structure, which need to be rekeyed when contaminated or misplaced. When this sort of a barrier occurs we, at San Antonio Key Replacement, in San Antonio TX, are quite skilled to adjust all patterns of car ignition, lock or key issues on-site.

Ford F150 transponder key is specially decoded to run a particular vehicle and our know how team members can form Ford F150 Tibbe, transponder, keyless device or P.A.T.S keys, likewise repair, install or replace any kind of keys, ignition and locks at your side anytime you need.

About Ford F150 lock and key instrumentation

Ford is America's world-wide prominent manufacturer of cars of average cars and become one of the greatest USA car maker since 1903.

Ford originate accepting passive theft system chipped keys in 1996. Previous  Ford chipped keys could be cloned by an easy inexpensive dash-board duplication procedure.

Latest models bases on model and year swapped it's key lock system to an inscribed passive anti theft system chip keys that require a distinct key programmer and diagnostic devices in order to duplicate a supplementary key.

Beginning at 2007, Some  Ford models employ Intelligent Access with push-button start and push-start ignition as either standard or optional system.

Ignition repair

Your car ignition cylinder grants power from the battery to almost all of your car electric modules and accommodate tiny mechanical and electrical elements that customarily tend to bear out after heavy traffic using  for many years.  

If your Ford F150 ignition key wont turn at all, dash-board lights squinting, key turn freely in the ignition and ignition key is hard to turn, it is probably a symptom of decaying ignition lock or key due to a foreign object inside the key-hole, loose cylinder pin or bad ignition switch contacts that can surely cause the ignition cylinder to go wrong, countering you from igniting your car.

When driver use a vehicle, broken ignition switch might shut the engine off during driving, which might turn out to be very highly hazardous, henceforth our recommendation not to tamper with the ignition switch by unskilled hands that most likely going to cause a fundamental hardship and liability.

The only thing an owner can do running into ignition cylinder or key malfunctions is to double check you are really trying to light up your very own car and ask a car keysmith to come out to your juncture to repair, reprogram  replace the key or ignition which will priced as around $145–$345.

Chipped key cut and program

Because of the high rates of car theft back two decades ago, remarkably all car models starting at nearby 1995 apply electronic key lock using transponder key, P.A.T or vehicle anti theft keys.

When a chipped key is inserted into the ignition key crack, the chip runs and ships an RF signal code to the vehicle ECM. If the authorization code is comparable to the code in the vehicle computer, the car will turn on to obtain anti-theft instrumentation for modern motor vehicles.

To cut and program or copy a key, cutting the key channels to sync the ignition switch is not going to be sufficient if you want to start up the car, due to the fact that the key accommodate a transponder that must be programmatically fit to the car computer system

Ford F150 keyless device

Smart-keys are an optimum in driver comfort and convenience, you are capable of unlock and lock your doors in addition to running the car engine – without even holding the key. You merely need to have it on yourself, either in your purse or pocket.

When the driver swing by their car, the smart key is identified by a matched radio frequency transponder inside the key-less entry. The doors unlock and open when the driver yanks the handle. The car engine bursts with the touch of a toggles on the dash-board console. The toggles is replacing the metal bladed key by closing the circuit on the car combustible system.

Closing the car when leaving is just as smooth. The driver just presses a clicker on the door lock handle – some keyless entry systems even lock automatically whenever the driver walks out of range.

Copy vs lost car keys

Present-day Ford F150 key-lock infrastructure accommodate car immobilizer and transponder key and while chipped keys supplied in an array of switch-blade key, laser cut, keyless entry device and fob key keys, the prime idea behind this instrumentation is that the transmitter in the key emits a message to the receiver in the ignition. If the receiver doesn't recognize a compatible programmed key, the combustible system will block and the car will not fire up.

A few outmoded vehicles keys could be comfortably copied using dash-board procedure, yet in general to copy an extra key, the chip inside the key need to be programmatically synced by an appropriate programming machine owned by the dealership or a locksmith.

If the last key is lost or stolen, the vehicle computer unit need to be decoded to utilize the new key and renounce the lost key. This practice feathers a safety measurement ensuring the immobilization of the misplaced or stolen key. This key recovery, instrumentation applicable solely to a licensed locksmith or the Ford F150 dealership, which means that you will have hire a vehicle lock-man or haul your car to the dealer.

24hr car lock out

Did you locked your keys in the car? Are you in a search for a trustworthy and professional car pop a lock service? San Antonio Key Replacement implement agile vehicle lock out service a phone call away. Calling our office at (210)598-8120 will transfer you to one of our dispatchers, he will inquire about your year, model and make in addition to your condition and location and deliver a car lockout technician or a key maker to your location equipped to the brim with specific lockpick equipment adept to get you back in your car in a flash

Car locks changing

San Antonio Key Replacement is illustrious to give all style of Ford F150 adjust services on premises to sub a misplaced, embezzled or broken keys. Practically all present-day car are furnished with electronic locks and key instrumentation and the operation required to get your lock adjusted ought to encompass the convenient decoder for the detailed vehicle. Instead of towing your motor vehicle to the dealer, just upraise the cell and call our call center in San Antonio TX and one of our car conversing task force will be with you in the short run with a motorized work van at par with current ignition parts, key cutters, programmers and blank keys ready to settle any type of emergency events.

Last word

Did you lost all the keys to your vehicle, broke your keys in the ignition or purchase a duplicate smart-key and need it programmed? Outstanding news! Our employees on call 24hr and will come out to you hurriedly to comfortably procure Ford F150 owners with vehicle lock-out, ignition repair and replacement keys) on premises. If you locked your self out or lost your car key lift your cellphone and call us (210)598-8120. Our experts haul key programmer and lockpick equipage and will be with you speedily to repair your ignition cylinder, replace a lost key or unlock your car door at your side and have you back in your car or home as quickly as possible. . If you’re scanning for Car key replacement service in San Antonio Texas call (210)598-8120 for a reliable local automotive locksmith, who duplicate and replace trunk, door and ignition keys and remote fob made on the spot.

[ccorneliast]

A Heart In Barcelona - Chapter 3: A Carrison Fanfiction

Rating: M Summary: Carrie and Harrison go on a weekend getaway to Barcelona during filming of The Empire Strikes Back in the late seventies. Something happens on that trip that changes their lives forever. Disclaimer: this is a real person fan fiction, so it all definitely came from my imagination and I’m not trying to offend anyone (you know the drill). I did take some creative liberty on what concerns the timeline, so stuff that is mentioned/places they visit may not have existed in the seventies, I apologize in advance; I do use/paraphrase some parts from Carrie’s books, as a way of making it feel more like them.   A/N: Jennifer, my love, this third chapter is for you ( @jennydehavilland ), for your constant love, friendship and excitment over these two. Big thanks to my girls over at the carrison groupchat, y’all are the best. 

On AO3 (tumblr was being stupid so it ate my italics, so i’d recomend reading on AO3 this time!)

I hope you enjoy this new story of mine and don’t forget to reblog and tell me your opinion!

You’d think that an afternoon of such intimacy and years of accumulated tension would be enough for them to keep their hands on each other. Instead, as they make their way to the España Square, Carrie’s eyes rarely meet Harrison’s. Truth be told, it just dawned on the two actors that they rarely had this much time alone as is, and they don’t quite know how to deal with it.

Soon enough, if they weren’t careful, Harrison would start to get annoyed at Carrie’s mood swings and, in turn, she’d begin to resent him for his frustratingly unconcerned demeanor.

They walk side by side, though miles apart psychologically, until they reach it. The square is momentous in itself, it’s huge fountains dominating most of the space. Up above, almost sky high, they could observe the Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya, an enormous classical edifice, much too different from Gaudí’s architecture.

Harrison glances at his wrist watch and mumbles: “Maybe we should get something to eat.” She nods.

They walk up the steps (more steps, ugh) until they’re by the bigger, more crowded fountain. Carrie spots some street food and urges Harrison, with little to no words, to follow her lead. They pay for some delicious, though unreasonably priced, meaty sandwiches.

“You wanna sit there?” Harrison’s questions, uninterested.

She does. She sits down on the grass, right in front of the fountain. He sits next to her with some difficulty, for the area’s overflowing with tourists and natives alike.

“Harrison,” she says, but it’s barely audible. She tries again, this time turning her face towards his. “Harrison.”

He continues eating, but nods.

“What was that earlier?” she asks. He keeps chewing, but it’s not a way to divert the attention from the conversation. He doesn’t try to deny it or change the topic. Instead, he says:

“That thing was jam-packed.” He takes another bite. “I couldn’t breathe up there.” On top of the rooftop of La Pedrera.

“Why didn’t you say somethin’?” she chews on the straw of her drink absentmindedly.

“Didn’t want to worry ya, kid.” His eyes focus on the still dormant fountain instead of on hers.

“Bullshit.” She sets the cup down in front of her and brings a hand to his face, turning it towards her.

“What?” he’s shocked by how quickly her tone turned aggressive.

“You heard me.” She repeats, her hand falling to her lap. “You weren’t trying to be selfless.”

“Then what was I doing?” his tone is dangerous.

“Can’t crack that up yet.” She ponders it for a few moments.

“I have that problem sometimes.” He confesses. “When things aren’t the way I want them to.” He finishes his sandwich and puts away the wrapper in his backpack.

“When things aren’t the way you want them to be…” she echoes. He’s unbelievable.

“I didn’t want you to see me like that.” People start cheering, but they remain absorbed in their conversation.

“Afraid?” she runs her hands through her hair and successfully makes a ponytail.

He keeps quiet.

“That’s it, right?” she smiles, pleased. “You didn’t want me to see you scared?” the fountain rises and water starts splashing around in various colors. “You didn’t want me to think you’re what? Human?” she presses. His eyes reflect the pinks and blues and yellows. “Tell you a secret, I don’t. Never have.” That’s a lie, a big one. Big movie star, Harrison Ford, fearless and manly as can be. That was her mindset and, frankly, it was scary to think otherwise.

He turns around, effectively shutting her up. His mouth clashes onto hers, his tongue slipping inside her, demanding and expecting nothing but her very best. She obliges, of course. The music in the square is nearly deafening, but it doesn’t throw her off. Her hand grips the hair on the back of his head, tugging him closer and closer. Their lips slide on each other until he’s breathless. As they part, she sits back up in her place, their skin barely touching.

Then, softer:

“You kiss like a poet.” The words barely reach her.

“Kissed a lot of poets in your life to know how they go about it, Harrison?” she laughs it off, uncomfortable.

“You know what I mean.” He says, their eyes never meeting.

She does. Because every time he looks at her, suddenly flowers grow in her chest.  

The morning sunlight accompanies them on their way to La Sagrada Família. The map easily leads them to the closest transit station. The metrotakes them directly to the cathedral, as they exit the station. And then they see it, through the waves of tourists and countless bright green trees. La Pedrera and Casa Batlló may be Gaudí masterpieces, but Sagrada Família?

It’s a monster.

Its height is unfathomable and the exquisite sculpture work on the facades is unbelievable. Portraits of Christ’s life cover the entirety of its outside and its shape is eerily reminiscent of sandcastles on the beach. It looks like a fantasyland castle – wet sand dripped through fingers, both sharp and soft.

Carrie and Harrison circle the entire structure, taking in the seemingly unorganized order of the figures carved into every inch of the front. So much is happening, everywhere, that the overall style defies categorization. The west side is austere and tormented, drawing their attention to an emaciated Jesus on an iron cross. Stone women wail beside a pile of skulls at his feet. However, the east side is an abundance of life – humans and angels and animals and wheat – and topped by a green tree covered in white doves. Carrie inhales at its beauty, and they’ve only seen the outside.

As they enter the cathedral, they’re aware of an absence of noise. Organic figures intertwine with colorful and intricate stained-glass windows. On the right side, windows dyed with blues and greens and purples bid goodbye to the sun, whereas on the left side, where the sun rises every morning, warm colors like oranges and yellows welcome it.

“Fuck, this is beautiful.” Harrison whispers, only to Carrie. She nods.

And then, an overwhelming need to pick up her notebook pops up. An entire storyline occurs and she wants desperately to write it down. She tugs on Harrison’s shirt’s sleeve and he looks down at her: “Harrison,”

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” they keep walking through the columns.

“I want to write.” Her voice is tight.

“What, now?” his eyebrow creases.

“Please,” she tugs harder, more urgent.

“Okay, okay.” He looks around. “Sit down there, huh?” he points to one of the columns farther to the left.

She walks towards it, slumps on the ground and leans against the warm stone, hot from the sun rays. She fumbles inside her bag, fishing out her little grey notebook and a black ink pen. Words flow out of her and onto the paper, energy turning into energy. Harrison observes curiously, taking note of the way her lip curves when she’s thinking of what to write next, the way her teeth bite into it when she knows she’s got a good idea. Her back is curved over her ink-stained hands and the yellowed-out pages.

It’s a mesmerizing sight, even amongst all of Gaudí’s beauty.

A while later, her head rises and she smiles. His body, his soul, fills with the most pleasant adrenaline he’s ever felt. The sight of her proud smile imprints a crescent moon on his lip, and the desire of capturing this moment and savoring it for more than these mere seconds is overpowering. He sneaks out his camera and snaps the swiftest shot he’s ever taken, her lips and sparkling eyes forever inside his jeans’ pocket.

I wish the world would swallow us whole, in this moment. This, it hits me, feels like falling in love.

The afternoon train is already speeding out of Spain and it’s warm-colored buildings, en route to reality, also known as grey old London.

“When are you gonna show me one of those things you write?” Harrison mumbles.

“What?” Carrie’s eyes are cloudy from tiredness.

“Will you ever show me?” his eyes are the smallest hint of hopeful.

“Someday, Harrison,” she responds. “Someday.” She smiles, though not very convincingly.

“What is it exactly that you write?” he thought of letting go of the subject, but he’s too invested now to stop.

“Whatever I feel like.” She replies. It doesn’t seem enough to satisfy him. “Sometimes, it’s journals. Others, poetry. Rarely prose, though I do have a million ideas for it.” She laughs, suddenly nervous for having his undivided attention.

“Interesting,” he looks at her like he’s studying her. It’s intimidating. “Very different writing styles, then.” She nods. “Does it feel different?”

She lets her hair loose from the pony tail and it falls down onto her shoulders. “When I write a diary, I do it to listen to myself, not to communicate.” He nods in understanding, inciting her to continue. “It’s sort of like I’m cloning myself in an effort to try to understand myself.” She chuckles. “Just trying to get to the edge of my personality.”

“And poetry?” her gets up and makes his way across the table, sitting down beside her. As if this conversation couldn’t get any more daunting.

“Oh, poetry is a lousy lousy way of communicating.” She explains. “But such a great way to find yourself.” His lip curves upward in the most endearing smirk.

“So, your words mirror you.” He tries. When she doesn’t react, he bites his bottom lip in anticipation. She melts a little bit inside.

“My words burn.”

If only he knew every hurtful, confused, venomous words she’s written about him.

“It’s ironic how artistic we become when our hearts are broken.” As she says this, she realizes how truly powerful her words are, because it looks as though his face shut down. His eyes look glassy and dark, his facial features very harsh, as though they were hand-painted with coal. She almost regrets them. Almost.

“All art comes down to love and heartbreak, isn’t that so?” she’s enjoying the effect she has on him. He must understand. Her smile is wicked.

He plunges into her, dives into her, drowns. His lips are hers, his bottom lip trapped in between his. Her hands on his soft, brown hair, pulling him closer, as close as she pleases. In her waist, she feels his fingers digging perfect oval holes on her skin. His slight stubble rubs against her sun-kissed skin and it feels nothing short of exciting. These days, it feels like he only kisses her to shut her up.

As the train breezes through the French countryside, Carrie and Harrison kiss. The kiss doesn’t quite feel the same, though. Her air leaves her body and enters his, enters her spirit, enters her life.

[kirstinkeenum-blog]

Why Autowatch Shadow is the Ultimate autowatch ghost immobiliser

Quickly becoming the market leader in the UK for the most reliable, and affordable vehicle security. Meta provide many security sollutions which can’t be matched elsewhere such as the most advanced car alarm siren also featuring a built in autowatch ghost immobiliser alongwith smartphone push alerts if the alarm is triggered. Meta have there standard Thatcham approved series of alarm systems and they also have a range of plip systems which are fitted to vehicles up to the year of 2005 in most cases. Even some vans today still use this type of system. And they have there manufacture approved alarm system which works on the vehicles data network known as can-bus. These systems work perfectly alongside the original remote locking system on the vehicle meaning locking the doors will arm the alarm and unlocking the doors will disarm the alarm.

This gives the customer a complete security system but it won’t effect the way you have to lock or unlock the vehicle. Meta System is the only alarm brand in the world that has a massive range of alarm approvals from the vehicle manufatures. No other alarm even comes close in terms of quality or reliability.

Pandora Car Alarms

Pandora have hit the UK with there industry leading product line. The UK hasn’t seen any new products in a while and now Pandora is setting the standard very high. The most popular system so far is the Pandora Light Pro giving excellent security and communication to the vehicles owner by an LCD remote control. This gives the owner infomation on the vehicle up to 1 mile away. Meaning you can rest assured when leaving your vehicle knowing it’s ok, the Pandora systems all work from the vehicles OE remote meaning you can lock and unlock your doors as normal.

The part that makes the Pandora system so secure is the immobiliser / ADR tag that sits on the vehicles keys. The alarm won’t turn off or allow the vehicle to start unless the card is within range of the vehicle ( This can be dictated via the smartphone app ) allowing the customer to shorten or extend the range.

The systems work on 868Mhz which stops the most common key cloning and key scanning the normal 433Mhz wave length suffers from. If you would like a Pandora Car Alarm fitted in Essex why not contact us on 07525 068291.

Ford OBD Port Immobilisation

Ford OBD ports are very common to be accessed by smashing the drivers front window glass or by picking the drivers door lock to gain entry. We can offer Ford OBD port immobilisation which means the OBD port won’t be accessable while the alarm system is armed. This means a thief won’t be able to clone a key into the vehicles ECU in order to steal the vehicle.

When the alarm system is disarmed you can still use the OBD port for diagnostics and remapping giving you total piece of mind. We would suggest having our OBD port immobilisation fitted with one of our industry leading alarm systems such as a Cobra or Pandora alarm system.

Cobra are the world leader in terms of quality and performance and most important of all relibality giving you total piece of mind.

Pandora are the future market leader in the most advanced alarm systems in the world offering excellent performance, remote start ability, dual zone proximity.

If you would like us to advise or guide you into buying the best alarm system for your budget / vehicle. 

Ford Custom Alarm Upgrade

The Ford Custom has been around since 2014 and any form of security is no where to be seen. The Ford Custom lacks security due to it being disarmed via the drivers door lock. A common method thieves use to gain entry into these vehicles is by twisting the drivers door lock to the left. This turns off the original horn or Thatcham alarm and allows the vehicles doors to unlock. This means your whole vehicle can be opened without making a sound.

Car Alarms Essex provides an excellent Cobra Thatcham approved alarm which works alongside the original Ford 3 button remote control but it WILL NOT disarm from the drivers door lock making it very secure. The only way to disarm the system is via the original Ford remote key or the emergancy pin override code.

This system protects all doors front, side and rear and the vehicles interior is protected by ultrasonic interior sensors giving complete piece of mind when leaving your Transit Custom. We install a loud 118DB battery back up siren which means if the siren is attacked it will keep sounding.

We supply and fit the Thatcham Approved Cobra alarm upgrade in Essex and all local areas. 

Gemini ADR Gemini have released an ADR alarm very simular to the Cobra 4600 series. The ADR card which sits on your vehicles key is a little more secure in the way it shuts down after 5 mins of no movement, this means there is no way the signal could be amplified or changed in order to trick the alarm to disarm. The Gemini is very universal due to it having an onboard full can-bus index meaning it can be programmed to many different vehicles made after 2005.

The alarm will arm and disarm from the original remote control meaning you lock the vehicle and the alarm will fully arm and unlocking will make the arm go into a pre-disarm state until the secure ADR card is in range. The alarm also features 1 touch key which allows the user of the vehicle to disarm the system in the event of the ADR card battery going flat.

The siren is very effective sounding at 118DB when triggered. The system also flashes indercators on alarm sounding for a visual warning.

Thatcham Security Going 2018

Thatcham are leaving the scene with regards to vehicle alarms and immobilisers in 2018. It has been kept quiet for the last year or so but the word on the street is Thatcham will be leaving the vehicle security side. The only thing that will remain is the stolen vehicle tracking approvals. There may ( Might ) be no factory alarm or immobilisers fitted in the UK once Thatcham has stopped accrediting the security products. In the USA very few cars have a factory immobiliser fitted as standard meaning car manufatures might not invest in any forms of security at all.

This is more than likely the reason Autowatch haven’t put the Ghost through any form of testing. Until the time comes next year it will be unknown if there will be a replacement for the Thatcham accredited products. There might be another body which will step in but it’s unknown at this current time.

Will this make a diffrence in the products we sell?

The answer is very simple, with car thieves running rings around factory vehicles with Thatcham Cat1 products fitted as standard. Customers are looking for something that will simply secure the vehicle. For example none of the Viper security systems are Thatcham approved in the UK or the Autowatch Ghost for example.

All the infomation is just simply talk within the trade, we can’t be held responsiable for any incorrect infomation.

Autowatch Ghost iPhone App

Why would you want to push the steering wheel control, window or dash buttons if your iPhone can simply do all the work! The Autowatch Ghost can be disarmed via your iphone if it’s running OS 10 or higer. The idea behind this concept is to get into the vehicle with your iphone. load the autowatch app and it will have a feature where you can active bluetooth and pair it via bluetooth. Once you enter the security pin number ( on the autowatch ghost welcome card )

The Autowatch Ghost will be paired to your iPhone, meaning every time you get into your vehicle and turn the igintion on it will instantly look to see if your smartphone is in range. If it is the vehicle will be allowed to start instantly. If the iPhone is not found or your phone battery is flat you can simply enter your pin number via the steering controls or door buttons ( as per normal ).

The Autowatch Ghost app is £9.99 to download from the Apple store and it’s nice and easy to set up and use. The app can be found to download here.

Autowatch Ghost

The Autowatch Ghost has become a big hit on the UK market. This is due to it not being the normal everyday immobiliser which is fitted. The system is very advanced due to it using can-bus infomation in order to stop the vehicle starting. If your unaware of Can-Bus and what it does on a vehicle… Can-Bus communicates to each module within your vehicle this can be infomation from the ignition switch, gear box, abs and ECU.

When the Ghost immobiliser is set ( normally 3-30 seconds ) when the ignition is turned off. The Ghost is active and protecting your vehicle, to disarm the immobiliser you simply get inside your vehicle and turn the ignition on, once it is on you enter your selected 3-20 digit pin code, this code is entered via the vehicles buttons such as cruise control or window switches in order to disarm the system

[siodymph]

Fiddlefest! Friendship/Family

And here is my last prompt for Fiddleford's month! I just want to say real quick all the stories and art I've seen for this event have been so cool and amazing! Go check it all out on the official blog it you haven't already!

And one last reminder all day today and tomorrow I'm accepting any Fiddleford requests if you have them (I'm also happy to write any fiddauthor or fiddlestan if you like those ships!) After the 7th though I'm moving on!

Thank you so much fr reading all my stories for Marchgucket and I hope you enjoy this last addition! (you can read it under the cut or over on my ao3)

Time seemed to be a fickle thing for Fiddleford McGucket. Years he spent without a memory sometimes only felt like it lasted a few months and now in his first year of remembering it felt like things went so painfully slowly. It might have been due to his recollection perhaps now that he had a stronger grip on time he was more conscious of it.

Or maybe it was because of how much he missed the Pines family. Just before leaving he and Stanford had admitted their feelings for one another still existed and now they were having a long-distance relationship over phones and screen monitors. Stanford and his brother, niece and nephew all promised to be back next summer and Fiddleford found he kept counting down the days no matter how much he tried not to. Today marked the final month before Stanford and Stanley would be back, and a month and a half until the kids came back. It was so close yet so far off.

He thought himself lucky at least, that he had so many people in his life now. To not only miss and know they would be back soon, but also living here with him and visiting all the time.

Every Sunday evening since last summer he’d always been invited down to the mystery shack for dinner and anime with Soos and his girlfriend, Melody. They made a sweet couple and ran the old mystery shack together as a team. And while Fiddleford didn’t often visit the Shack during their working day there was an energy, a welcoming vibe that grew there now that hadn’t really existed before under Stan’s ownership. As for their anime get-togethers, they had started a little pattern after a few happy accidents that had become a tradition now. Melody and Soos would make one half of their dinner and Fidds would bring the second half. If they made sandwiches, Fiddleford would whip up soup to dip’em in. They made meatballs, he’d bring over the spaghetti and sauce. One time they’d cook some pork chops and Fiddleford had brewed up an apple sauce to spread on it. That had been a good one. They’re weekly meet ups were always something he could look forwards to and enjoy. They reminded him a lot of the old family dinners he would have as a kid, potlucks where everyone cooked together and ate together.

Mabel’s two friends, Candy Chiu and Grenda Grendinator, also became frequent visitors. Both of them loved to admire his work with giant fighting robots, Candy had even told him she wished to become an engineer too when she grew up. Fiddleford had been all too happy to start teaching her everything he’d learned over the years. And Candy proved to be a wonderful student, a protégé actually. Her photographic memory was amazing to see in person, rewireing panels on her robot purely from memory of how Fiddleford had showed her over a week prior. And she had Grenda both had such wonderful, vivid imaginations it was never dull having a conversation with the two. There wasn’t a single doubt in Fiddleford’s mind that the two girls wouldn’t shake up the world when they got a little older, they had such amazing ideas and he couldn’t wait to see how they made their ideas possible realities in the future.

And then there was Tate. His dear lil’ Tate. He gotten some forgiveness from his son at last. They had a long talk face to face. It had been awkward, uncomfortable and made Fiddleford relive some shame he’d made himself forget for years. But it was an important step in them rebuilding their relationship, no matter how painful it might be. Talking came much easier for both of them the more they tried. And now he lived here in his new home, something which Fiddleford never could have dreamed of before and was grateful for. To truly have this second chance with his son. Tate had grown into a man that reminded him a lot of his own father and uncles growing up. Blunt but honest ad content with their crafts and tasks in life. Them with their farming and hunting, and now his son with his fishing. He loved going out to the lake and watching his son work, listening to him talk about fishing. It was no lie Tate loved what he did.

Tate would always be his son. But he’d found in a way he’d gained another child, almost like a granddaughter to him, as the year crawled by. He’d met her in the shack along with the other girls, held her hand during the Oddpocolypse. But afterwards, after that had bought the Manor from her father he hadn’t seen hat or hair of Pacifica Northwest. That was until one day while he was gardening on the front lawn he saw her milling about the front gate, attempting to spy on him. He invited her in for some tea which Pacifica had begrudgingly accepted. At first she claimed she was only “checking up to make sure he hadn’t burnt the mansion down to the ground yet.” Much to his surprise Pacifica came back for more teas after that, she’d even offered to help him in his garden. He only became worried when like clockwork as soon as the middle school was out she would be at his house and would put off leaving until the sun was in the brink of setting. He’d asked her once if her family was wondering where she was but she’d avoided the question, though she did admit she hated being home alone with either of her parents and she didn’t have any friends in town.

After that Fiddleford kept his home opened to her, though he did try to gently nudge her into at least joining a club at her school. That ended up not working so steadily he’d tried to introduce her to Candy and Grenda when one day all three of them ended up at his house one weekend. At first he’d feared he’d over stepped his bounds when she saw Pacifica grow defensive against the other two girls, walling herself off and putting up the snotty persona she seemed to put on and take off like a mask. But then the three found out the things they had in common rather then all the things that made them different and slowly but surely Pacifica pulled off her mask again and the three became an unlikely trio to visit his house and hang out around town.

One day they were all talking about boy bands and Fiddleford showed them the boyband he first fell in love with decades ago, the Beatles. At first the girls hadn’t believed him, Beatles were a cool hipster thing, not something for geek girls to freak out about according to them. So Fiddleford showed them he few relics from his Beatle-mania days and they’d found it absolutely hilarious. Grenda had joked that in a few years maybe Sev’ral Timez would be a musical revolution too. That had been a fun day, the four of them had tried tracking down the Sev’ral Timez boyband in the woods, they’d even recruited Wendy’s help in tracking them down.

They didn’t find the boyband that day, but instead they found two children who looked identical to Dipper Pines, only their caps had numbers on them instead of blue trees. They told him that they were photocopy clones of Dipper from last summer and the two boys had made a water proof shelter for themselves out in the wilderness. They joined in the hunt for the boyband and later Fiddleford had offered his home to the boys. He knew they were only brief flashes of Dipper’s consciousness, but it appeared that the two had developed their own awareness, something he couldn’t ever remember from his and Ford’s old experiments. They both even developed distinct personalities that had altered not only from each other but also their original Dipper. He felt this urge to protect and care for the boys after that and the two became like adopted kids to him much like Pacifica had become.

The open halls had become much less empty and yawning now than when he’d first moved in with just a knapsack and his raccoon wife to his name. And now on the first Sunday in May he was holding a special Sunday anime dinner, this time in his own manor. In the theater room he recently renovated he was surrounded by friends and family he’d invited over. Excited happy voices all surrounded him and a warm plate of home-cooked food sat on his lap. He closed his eyes, feeling everything all around him.

He couldn’t wait for his boyfriend and his family to come back next month and get to feel this too.

[stellahendomakers]

WEEK 10

TEXT BASED INVESTIGATION:

A QUEER HISTORY OF FASHION: FROM THE CLOSET TO THE CATWALK (VALERIE STEELE)

2. Fashion and style has played an important role within the LGBTQ community, both pre and post stone wall, and even as early as the 18th century. (pg 7)

Not much has been published about high fashion as a site of gay cultural production. (pg 7)

2.Aethetic sensibilities and unconventional fress choises made by LGBTQ people, we see how gay culture has been to the creation of modern fashion. (pg 7)

3. Even Though a vast majority of designers are gay, they do not want to be labeled as such because they don’t want their work to be stereotyped - or their own accomplishments minimised. (pg 8)

3. Robert Schankle and Kim Marra argue that “sexuality permeates peoples beliefs, actions, and social relations.” If sexuality is “a historical force”, as they suggest, then it’s “far from irrelevant”, it is, in fact, entirely legitimate to ask why homosexuals have played such an important role in fashion. Indeed, not to write the history of gays and lesbians in fashion “is to be complicit in what has been called ‘inning’, the perpetuation of systemic denials that foster the climate of shame and risk surrounding same sex eroticim. (pg 8)

3. William Mann’s book on gay and lesbians in Hollywood, we believe that, by seeing these fashion “pioneers” not only as designers, fashion professionals, and trendsetters, “but also as gay men and lesbians,” we can “cast new light not only on their experiences but also on their very history” of fashion itself. (pg 8-9)

3. It is important to be open about the sexualitites of the decessed, since there is nothing to be shameful about variant sexuality. (pg 9)

3. In later decades, of course, as homosexuality was legalised and became increasingly accepted, more designers have came out publicly. (pg 9)

1. Fashion history cannot truly be understood without taking account of the creative contributions of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, and other “queer” individuals. (pg 9)

1. “ the word queer has often been used in a derogatory sense. However, in recent years it has increasingly been appropriated by many LGBTQ people. (pg 11)

2. By “performing” fashion, often in such a way to convey “signs of gayness” to other gays, LGBTQ people, whether fashion professionals or not, have been instrumental in creating queer subcultural styles as a queer sensibility that have profoundly influenced mainstream fashion. (pg 12)

2. By the 1880s, Lebsians in Paris were iften depicted as wearing mannish, dark, woolen jackets and white shirts with starched collars and bow ties. (pg 24)

2. Tailored clothes of upper-class men were also experienced as liberation for many lesbians (pg 24)

2. It was not simply that many lesbians had a “mannish” style of self-presentation. (pg 26)

2. They style garconne in the 1920s seemed to blur the traditional boundaries between men and woman, this new style was deeply controversial. (pg 26-27-28)

2. It is not only as fashion professionals that gay men and lesbians have influenced the world of style (pg 28)

2. In the early 20th century, gay men and lesbians were visible in large cities, such s Berlin, New York, and Paris. In New York, many gay men “boldly announced their presence by wearing red ties, bleached hair, and the area’s other insignia of homosexuality.” (pg29)

3. Many predominantly homosexual men were married (sometomes to lesbaians) and some had children. (pg35)

4. 1947 Dior launched the New Look, an ultra-feminine style, characterised by voluptuous curves and longer hemlines. (pg 41)

2. After ww1, the structure of fashion business changed, and men became increasingly visible as designers. (pg43)

3. “so those who have power must [be open about] their homosexuality and do everything they can so that it will be considered just like being left-handed or right-handed.” - Berge, Out magazine (pg44)

1. After the relative tolerance of the early 20th century, the postwar paranoid was characterized by savage reaction, which has been called “the 1950s Kulturkampf, or state-sponsored culture war, against homosexuals and other gender-benders.” (pg44)

1. During the postwar period, many homosexuals became in effect, “invisible men” because they experienced a “very real fear of exposure and arrest”. (pg44)

1. Lesbians dressed to “pass” in a vaguely androgynous style. (pg45)

2. 1960s “Peacock Revolution”, involved a lot of gay men. (pg45)

2. John Stephen played an important role in bringing  a “queer” look to a hetrosexual market with the ride of mod fashion. (pg45)

1. One year later after the stonewall riot of june 28 1969 the first pride parades took place in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. As LGBTQ people increasingly asserted their rights, variant sexualities became more accepted in the 1970s. More people lived openly gay lives, and fashion reflected this. (pg46-47)

2. A bunch of new styles arose, such as Clone, macho, gym-toned and other elaborate sexual codes. Middle class lesbians adopted a more “anti-fashion” androgynous style. (pg 47)

2. Woman fashion designers flourished during the 1920s and 30s, after ww2, male designers became much more numerous and influential. (pg53)

4. Calvin Klein’s advertising, then (1981) and later, was widely perceived as homoerotic, it also clearly appealed to hetrosexual men and to woman of all sexual orientations, reinforcing what would become a long-term trend for the use of homoerotic imagery, especially in fashion advertising. It is sometimes forgotten that gay sexuality is widely “considered extraordinary,inviting as well taboo.” (pg55)

3.  “There are many gay men in fashion”, says John Bartlett. “I know I was drawn to this career knowing that I would be welcome there and encouraged to be creative and expressive. Fashion is one of the rare industries that accept gay men.” (pg 62)

3. “The otherness of being gay informs our eye in a very different way from a young age. We relate to both men and women and therefore have a unique perspective on both sexes. We also identify a lot with our sexuality, so we think a lot about what defines gender.” (pg 62)

4. By the late 1990s, a fertile period of fashion innovation =, many of the world's most famous designers were gay or bisexual. But they were not always comfortable with having their sexuality labeled. Heralded as “Gucci’s Gay Superstar” on the cover of The Advocate (june 10, 1997), Tom Ford (b. 1961) was pressed to discuss his sexuality. He said that he was “very happy” with his long-term partner, and admitted, “i’m certainly gay at this particular moment in my life,” (pg 62)

3. Karl Lagerfeld - “that’s one of the good things about the fashion world. Those things [sexual orientations] are nonexistent subjects. You are never strange enough, bizarre enough, or different enough… It’s not a question of political correctness. Be correct, ,but don’t feel the need to tell the world.” (pg 62)

3. “The marginalised status of gay men produces the freakish, anarchic bursts of creativity and daring which are fundamental to fashion innovation,” argues Simon Doonan (pg 66)

3. “Gay men's lives have always been oriented around fantasy and disguise and transformation. They desire to escape from the negativity in their situation. Fashion is a ticket… The sad thing is both gays and straights continue to disdain effeminacy in men. Many gay men still have tremendous ambivalence about their proximity to fashion. They remain evasive about their sexuality and they suffer as a result.” (pg 66)

4. “The psychological struggles of Alexander McQueen and John Galliano are traceable to their working class homophobic roots. Their huge success only increased the unresolved conflicts and dissonances.” (pg 66)

This text talks about how queerness has influenced fashion pre and post stone wall. It brings up views about big designers and their reluctance to speak upon sexuality, the article also goes into to detail the evolution of queer style and where it stemmed from. This helps me to answer my key questions in my investigation surrounding queer fashion.

[itsworn]

On the Scene at the 2018 Mooneyes Xmas Party—Back on Track in a Big Way

All right, so we fibbed about the future of Mooneyes’ Xmas Party, as related in our web report a year ago (Mooneyes Xmas Party 2017: An Epic Going-Away Bash). Oh, it wasn’t intentional. The consensus was that the venue, Irwindale Speedway, was soon going to close, but a miracle happened. By the end of 2017, word got out: The show’s home would remain open for at least another couple of seasons.

The crowd responded en masse to the excellent news, with close to 1,500 cars and bikes taking over the site in early December. Mooneyes’ Chico Kodama relayed to us that the get-together proved to be one of the largest to date, including double the number of motorcycles. “T-shirt weather” might have helped. The annual meet offers a most interesting selection of rides, from low-budget mild customs to vintage vans and plenty of lowriders, although it should be said that traditional hot rods represent only a fairly small portion of the entries.

A member of the Odd Squad Car Club, Adrian Nasif put his Model T gow job to the test over the eighth-mile track, posting mid to high 11-second e.t.’s. His roadster was part of a contingent of four-cylinder hot rod entries.

Besides the cars on display, visitors enjoyed a massive vendor area and a great turnout of racecars. Most took part in grudge races, though a special class welcomed A/FX vehicles under the watchful eye of Melissa and Dave Franklin of American Nostalgia West. The group has been involved with the event for eight years, with spectators loving the 1960s muscle cars’ wheels-up antics. “When we race, our intention is to take spectators back in time,” says Melissa.

The Mooneyes team already plans on having its Xmas Party in 2019; it is expected to take place on the second Saturday of December.

If you were late to show up for the Mooneyes Xmas Party, you truly had to battle to find a parking spot in the car show, which was packed with close to 1,500 vehicles. In the background is Irwindale’s oval track, converted to a parking lot for the occasion.

A handful of four-banger fans competed together in an unofficial class. The group included Clark Crump (president of the 4 Ever 4 Cylinder Club) and his 1930 Model A, while the Model T behind belongs to Dave Fowles.

Few will recognize this vehicle, a now rare REO Speed Wagon whose origins can be traced back to the 1910s. Bob O’Neal converted his 1948 model into a street/strip contender, running a small-block Chevy. Yes, the rock band Reo Speedwagon took its name from the truck.

The Cacklefest involved a handful of well-known drag cars, such as the Ratican, Jackson & Stearns Fiat Topolino that began its track antics in 1958. By 1961, it crossed the quarter-mile finish line in the mid 9s at 157 mph. The supercharged 430ci Oldsmobile V8 sounds fantastic.

These distinctive headlights identify this Willys as a 1939 model. Owner Aaron Bedrosian runs e.t.’s in the 12.30-second range, though he has covered thousands of reliable road miles in it as well. Don’t tell anybody, but under the hood hides a modern 372ci/6.1L Hemi engine that delivers about 425 hp.

We always enjoy the sight of Larry Fator’s mean 1946 Chevy, which he purchased as a roller for $550 in 1969. The nose-high gasser features desirable magnesium Halibrand rims and a 396ci Chevy V8, hooked to a Muncie four-speed. A 1957 Pontiac supplied the rearend.

Paul Soliz’s High & Mighty 1950 Plymouth graced the cover of HOT ROD DELUXE in May 2018. The 10.60-second quarter-miler relies on a 427ci big-block Chevy topped with dual Holley 660-cfm carbs.

Paul Soliz also brought his cool, 396-powered Nova to the Mooneyes show, and parked it next to another Deluxe cover car, Sebastian Rey’s 1962 Studebaker Lark (“Blue Bird,” May 2017; hotrod.com/articles/this-historic-1962-studebaker-lark-gasser-was-a-different-kind-of-fatherson-project/).

The 1962 Dodge Dart has been great A/FX material, as demonstrated by Robert Munoa’s coupe, which is equipped with a 413ci engine. Munoa has had it for more than two decades and based his exercise on a rust-free original car, dressed in its original paint.

American Nostalgia West supported the event in large numbers. Here is John Harris’ 1963 Dodge 330 “long roof” originally from Canada, now motivated by a 440ci Hemi V8. Harris is the fifth owner of the wagon, which has been raced since it came out of the factory.

A Thunderbolt clone, Dale Schroeder’s 1964 Ford Fairlane started life as a lowly six-cylinder model with an automatic transmission. A much more potent 503ci Ford engine makes it a lot more competitive today.

Tom Tucker has owned his 427ci FE-powered, Hilborn-injected 1957 Ranchero since 1962! This is a true piece of SoCal drag racing history, having hit most of the local tracks (think Fontana Drag City, Lions, Orange County International Raceway, Irwindale …) since 1964, when it was removed from street life. Friend Dale Snoke (right) looks on.

“Hemi” claims the license plate on Chris O’Donnell’s 1965 Dodge. And indeed, under that massive scoop lurks a 578ci engine. With sub-6-second e.t.’s, his Coronet is one of the most competitive in the A/FX class, which gathered about 20 entries at Irwindale.

David Budgett took a basic 1970 Ford Mustang and morphed it into a competitive dragstrip contender. Fast Eddie’s Race Cars did most of the chassis work, while power comes from a 460ci motor stroked to 567 inches.

Check out the sinister appearance of Ray Dunham’s ’33 roadster, featuring deep black paint and matching wire wheels, enhanced by a Du Vall windscreen. Lack of hood sides allowed passersby to check out the 350ci Chevy fed by a trio of Edelbrock 94 carbs.

The team of Bisordi Sic Rides hung out at the show with this traditionally styled 1940 Mercury. On the front bumper, notice the plaque reading “Kustom’s Los Angeles,” a club founded by George Barris as his business began to boom in the 1950s.

Any 1946 Ford coupe can easily straddle the hot rod and custom worlds, as exemplified by Robert Alaniz’s Deluxe. The “mild” treatment includes Olds Fiesta hubcaps, along with a pair of Cherry Bombs exiting just behind the doors.

With its large windows, the ’51 Kaiser differed greatly from the rest of American car production. Yet the coupe can still transform into a pleasing custom, and a chopped top won’t hurt the lines, either. Chris Gomez owns this example, painted by Fabian Valdez at Vintage Hammer Garage.

Lance Smith owns Huntington Cars, a shop based in San Diego that specializes in Trans-Am and other V8 circuit racers. But he also knows how to appreciate vintage gassers, such as his ’55 Chevy 210, a genuine 1960s survivor recently brought back to life.

This one is for the fans of motorcycles and vans. A Ukrainian artist known as Irene Airbrush did an impressive job with Moreland Choppers’ 1976 Chevy hauler, covering the sides with artwork created in tribute to the late David Mann. His art appeared for more than three decades in the pages of Easyriders magazine.

  The post On the Scene at the 2018 Mooneyes Xmas Party—Back on Track in a Big Way appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/scene-2018-mooneyes-xmas-party-back-track-big-way/ via IFTTT

[samanthasroberts]

Jar Jar Binks, Watto and more most annoying things in the Star Wars universe

Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

Weve been through a lot together, Star Wars fans, from pod-racing to Kylo Rens lightsaber. We’ve dealt with Liam Neesons luxurious hair and Ewan McGregors luxurious hair and Harrison Fords luxurious hair and Adam Drivers luxurious hair.

While most of the journey has been an exciting trip to a world we wished we lived in, there are some notable pain points hate-inducing enough to make even the most loyal of fans curse George Lucas name. Whoose you thinksa Im talking aboutsa?

SEE ALSO: ‘Rogue One’ director justifies reshoots: ‘Star Wars has to be fantastic’

Below, 13 of the most annoying things about Star Wars.

13. Baby Boba Fett

This one tops a lot of lists of worst Star Wars characters, but it’s only because adult Boba Fett is so universally adored. Maybe its the unexciting revelation that he’s a clone of Jango Fett, the Mandalorian warrior who is also cloned for the aptly named Clone Army, that upsets people, or its that their favorite character is unveiled as a dumb kid who spends most of his scenes glaring and silently brooding. He might as well not have been there and maybe it would have been better that way. The mystery was one of the most alluring aspects of Boba Fett to begin with.

12. Ewoks

This is a touchy one. For the record, I do not have a problem with Ewoks. I also, since ceasing to be a 7-year-old kid, see how they could upset some people. Leia meets an animate teddy bear in the woods who threatens her and then immediately needs her help walking through the woods hes supposedly lived in his whole life. Its a stretch for us to believe that this species would have made it through the evolutionary wringer, let alone take down a legion of the most trained, feared and technologically advanced military in the galaxy.

SEE ALSO: Here’s how the ‘Star Wars’ droids could help you survive the holidays

11. Luke Skywalkers Maturity Level

When you watch A New Hope as a kid, Luke Skywalker is your hero. When you watch it again as an adult, you realize, Oh, wow, this guy is a kid.

At the storys beginning, Luke Skywalker is 16 and he acts like it, whining about chores and wishing he could instead go to Tosche station to get power converters. The first thing he does upon entering the Millennium Falcon is moan about what a piece of junk it is. He then interrupts the adults to scream, WHATS THAT FLASHING THING?! while trying to press all the blinking buttons on its dashboard like a spoiled toddler. Luckily for us, and the series, Luke grows up.

10. Nute Gunray

Image: starwars.com

The Neimoidian Viceroy of the Trade Federation and Separatist leader is cowardly, dumb and boring, all the while boasting an offensive Asian accent. Gunray is so bafflingly useless and obviously two-faced, the intelligence of all characters who trust him is immediately suspect. We would rejoice when Darth Sidious orders the newly named Darth Vader to do away with the Viceroy and his buds, but honestly we keep forgetting he exists each time he exits the screen.

9. Boss Nass

Gungans are already hard to love. So when their leader rolls in refusing to cooperate with our heroes and spraying saliva like a bad Richard Nixon impression, its especially hard to get on board. Maybe fans would have hated him less if the good Gungan name hadnt already been soured for so many by a certain Mr. Jar Jar of Binks.

8. Padawan Braid

Image: composite, all photos by starwars.com

George Lucas can call them Padawan braids, a symbol of rank in the Jedi training, but we all know what they are: rat-tails. Its tough to associate the single, long, skinny braid with the calm and enlightened Jedi order when so many of us associate it with that kid down the street who tried to steal beer out of peoples garages. Give us a bearded and long-haired Obi Wan, or No-bi Wan, please.

7. Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

Barf. Barf. Barf. George Lucas claimed he always wished this musical interlude at Jabbas palace in Return of the Jedi could have been an extended sequence, and in 2000, the extreme hubris of the digitally remastered versions gave him his chance. The new CGI iteration of Sy Snootles, lead singer of the Max Rebo band, turned a strange but charming alien into an uncomfortably sexual one. It even threw in some anachronistic backup singers for good measure, along with a loud creature named Joh Yowza screaming in huttese directly into the camera. The tone is completely wrong for the setting, and frankly, its hard to watch. Even more cringe-worthy? The new song theyre singing is called Jedi Rocks. Woof.

6. Young Anakin

You know, maybe the character of Anakin Skywalker was doomed to fail. Maybe nothing could have ever matched our expectations. Darth Vader had been too perfect. He was the baddest baddie we had ever seen, how could his backstory ever have lived up to his future? Or maybe its that George Lucas has seemingly never interacted with a child, so for research, he watched Dennis the Menace and Leave it to Beaver and wrote down a few one-liners before calling it quits so he could spend more time planning Jar Jar Binks hijinks.

The resulting Little Ani is a cloyingly innocent 1950s cartoon character, practically on the verge of saying, Gee Whiz, Mister Qui-Gon! in every scene. Any evidence of his future capacity for deep emotion, any whispers of darkness that might be hidden in his heart, any foreshadowing of the towering villain he is to become is deafeningly absent.

When we saw Voldemorts childhood, we saw the events that led him to mature into an evil mass murderer and it enriched our fear of the villain, making it more confusing, more real. When we saw Darth Vaders childhood, we saw a bunch of lame jokes, a plain personality and pod-racing.

5. Jabba the Hutts Tongue

OH GOD. OH GOD NO. PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH. I CANT LOOK. SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN ITS OVER. IM PUKING. IM PUKING RIGHT NOW.

4. Watto

Image: starwars.com

There is nothing to love about Watto. Hes a slave owner. He constantly flies around on flimsy wings that couldnt possibly support his bulbous, lazy body. Hes smarmy, arrogant and unintelligent. Oh, and hes a monstrously racist stereotype. Greedy, slimy, with a large nose and a middle-eastern accent, Watto feels like every false anti-semitic caricature come to life. The Toydarian junk-dealer takes up way too much space in The Phantom Menace, and honestly, his body looks so fragile its a shock that none of his slaves swatted him to finish him off. I know plenty of fans who are up to the job.

3. Cheesy Dialogue

Now that Im with you again, Im in agony. My heart is beating hoping that a kiss will not become a scar. Love wont save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it. Yes. It’s you, Leia.

Groaaaaaan. Look. George Lucas. Its OK. We all need an editor. Use one.

2. Midi-chlorians

The biggest knife in the back to die-hard Star Wars fans? The introduction of midi-chlorians in The Phantom Menace, answering the enormous question that no one was asking: How does the Force work? Qui-Gon tells us that midi-chlorians are little, microscopic life forms, living inside of cells that are the conduit for the Force.

The thing is, we already had an explanation for the Force from Obi Wan in A New Hope. Retroactively adding details about microscopic life forms living in your body doesnt totally fit with Obi Wans explanation, making our image of the Force messier instead of clearer. Midi-chlorians reduce a beautiful cosmic connection to something physical and less cool. Instead of expanding the Force, they narrow it. People have been frozen in carbonite for less heinous crimes.

1. Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

While many of the above offenders may be worse than the most notorious Gungan, nobody could take home the gold without me receiving a flood of death threats, so here you go! The worst part about Star Wars is Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jars biggest crime is over-exposure. Maybe a measured amount of meesa so dumb dumb moments, executed with surgical precision would have, in fact, been a welcome distraction from an otherwise boring plot. Unfortunately, well never know Jar Jar Binks as anything other than the bumbling moron who pretty much laid out the red carpet for Palpatine to take over the Senate.

Kids loved him. Adults wanted to rip their eyeballs out of their skulls and shove them deep into their eardrums to keep from ever hearing him again. Intended to be lovable, actually unbearable, Jar Jar Binks blows and thats all there is to it.

BONUS: ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ reimagined as a homemade trailer

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/

[adambstingus]

Jar Jar Binks, Watto and more most annoying things in the Star Wars universe

Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

Weve been through a lot together, Star Wars fans, from pod-racing to Kylo Rens lightsaber. We’ve dealt with Liam Neesons luxurious hair and Ewan McGregors luxurious hair and Harrison Fords luxurious hair and Adam Drivers luxurious hair.

While most of the journey has been an exciting trip to a world we wished we lived in, there are some notable pain points hate-inducing enough to make even the most loyal of fans curse George Lucas name. Whoose you thinksa Im talking aboutsa?

SEE ALSO: ‘Rogue One’ director justifies reshoots: ‘Star Wars has to be fantastic’

Below, 13 of the most annoying things about Star Wars.

13. Baby Boba Fett

This one tops a lot of lists of worst Star Wars characters, but it’s only because adult Boba Fett is so universally adored. Maybe its the unexciting revelation that he’s a clone of Jango Fett, the Mandalorian warrior who is also cloned for the aptly named Clone Army, that upsets people, or its that their favorite character is unveiled as a dumb kid who spends most of his scenes glaring and silently brooding. He might as well not have been there and maybe it would have been better that way. The mystery was one of the most alluring aspects of Boba Fett to begin with.

12. Ewoks

This is a touchy one. For the record, I do not have a problem with Ewoks. I also, since ceasing to be a 7-year-old kid, see how they could upset some people. Leia meets an animate teddy bear in the woods who threatens her and then immediately needs her help walking through the woods hes supposedly lived in his whole life. Its a stretch for us to believe that this species would have made it through the evolutionary wringer, let alone take down a legion of the most trained, feared and technologically advanced military in the galaxy.

SEE ALSO: Here’s how the ‘Star Wars’ droids could help you survive the holidays

11. Luke Skywalkers Maturity Level

When you watch A New Hope as a kid, Luke Skywalker is your hero. When you watch it again as an adult, you realize, Oh, wow, this guy is a kid.

At the storys beginning, Luke Skywalker is 16 and he acts like it, whining about chores and wishing he could instead go to Tosche station to get power converters. The first thing he does upon entering the Millennium Falcon is moan about what a piece of junk it is. He then interrupts the adults to scream, WHATS THAT FLASHING THING?! while trying to press all the blinking buttons on its dashboard like a spoiled toddler. Luckily for us, and the series, Luke grows up.

10. Nute Gunray

Image: starwars.com

The Neimoidian Viceroy of the Trade Federation and Separatist leader is cowardly, dumb and boring, all the while boasting an offensive Asian accent. Gunray is so bafflingly useless and obviously two-faced, the intelligence of all characters who trust him is immediately suspect. We would rejoice when Darth Sidious orders the newly named Darth Vader to do away with the Viceroy and his buds, but honestly we keep forgetting he exists each time he exits the screen.

9. Boss Nass

Gungans are already hard to love. So when their leader rolls in refusing to cooperate with our heroes and spraying saliva like a bad Richard Nixon impression, its especially hard to get on board. Maybe fans would have hated him less if the good Gungan name hadnt already been soured for so many by a certain Mr. Jar Jar of Binks.

8. Padawan Braid

Image: composite, all photos by starwars.com

George Lucas can call them Padawan braids, a symbol of rank in the Jedi training, but we all know what they are: rat-tails. Its tough to associate the single, long, skinny braid with the calm and enlightened Jedi order when so many of us associate it with that kid down the street who tried to steal beer out of peoples garages. Give us a bearded and long-haired Obi Wan, or No-bi Wan, please.

7. Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

Barf. Barf. Barf. George Lucas claimed he always wished this musical interlude at Jabbas palace in Return of the Jedi could have been an extended sequence, and in 2000, the extreme hubris of the digitally remastered versions gave him his chance. The new CGI iteration of Sy Snootles, lead singer of the Max Rebo band, turned a strange but charming alien into an uncomfortably sexual one. It even threw in some anachronistic backup singers for good measure, along with a loud creature named Joh Yowza screaming in huttese directly into the camera. The tone is completely wrong for the setting, and frankly, its hard to watch. Even more cringe-worthy? The new song theyre singing is called Jedi Rocks. Woof.

6. Young Anakin

You know, maybe the character of Anakin Skywalker was doomed to fail. Maybe nothing could have ever matched our expectations. Darth Vader had been too perfect. He was the baddest baddie we had ever seen, how could his backstory ever have lived up to his future? Or maybe its that George Lucas has seemingly never interacted with a child, so for research, he watched Dennis the Menace and Leave it to Beaver and wrote down a few one-liners before calling it quits so he could spend more time planning Jar Jar Binks hijinks.

The resulting Little Ani is a cloyingly innocent 1950s cartoon character, practically on the verge of saying, Gee Whiz, Mister Qui-Gon! in every scene. Any evidence of his future capacity for deep emotion, any whispers of darkness that might be hidden in his heart, any foreshadowing of the towering villain he is to become is deafeningly absent.

When we saw Voldemorts childhood, we saw the events that led him to mature into an evil mass murderer and it enriched our fear of the villain, making it more confusing, more real. When we saw Darth Vaders childhood, we saw a bunch of lame jokes, a plain personality and pod-racing.

5. Jabba the Hutts Tongue

OH GOD. OH GOD NO. PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH. I CANT LOOK. SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN ITS OVER. IM PUKING. IM PUKING RIGHT NOW.

4. Watto

Image: starwars.com

There is nothing to love about Watto. Hes a slave owner. He constantly flies around on flimsy wings that couldnt possibly support his bulbous, lazy body. Hes smarmy, arrogant and unintelligent. Oh, and hes a monstrously racist stereotype. Greedy, slimy, with a large nose and a middle-eastern accent, Watto feels like every false anti-semitic caricature come to life. The Toydarian junk-dealer takes up way too much space in The Phantom Menace, and honestly, his body looks so fragile its a shock that none of his slaves swatted him to finish him off. I know plenty of fans who are up to the job.

3. Cheesy Dialogue

Now that Im with you again, Im in agony. My heart is beating hoping that a kiss will not become a scar. Love wont save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it. Yes. It’s you, Leia.

Groaaaaaan. Look. George Lucas. Its OK. We all need an editor. Use one.

2. Midi-chlorians

The biggest knife in the back to die-hard Star Wars fans? The introduction of midi-chlorians in The Phantom Menace, answering the enormous question that no one was asking: How does the Force work? Qui-Gon tells us that midi-chlorians are little, microscopic life forms, living inside of cells that are the conduit for the Force.

The thing is, we already had an explanation for the Force from Obi Wan in A New Hope. Retroactively adding details about microscopic life forms living in your body doesnt totally fit with Obi Wans explanation, making our image of the Force messier instead of clearer. Midi-chlorians reduce a beautiful cosmic connection to something physical and less cool. Instead of expanding the Force, they narrow it. People have been frozen in carbonite for less heinous crimes.

1. Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

While many of the above offenders may be worse than the most notorious Gungan, nobody could take home the gold without me receiving a flood of death threats, so here you go! The worst part about Star Wars is Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jars biggest crime is over-exposure. Maybe a measured amount of meesa so dumb dumb moments, executed with surgical precision would have, in fact, been a welcome distraction from an otherwise boring plot. Unfortunately, well never know Jar Jar Binks as anything other than the bumbling moron who pretty much laid out the red carpet for Palpatine to take over the Senate.

Kids loved him. Adults wanted to rip their eyeballs out of their skulls and shove them deep into their eardrums to keep from ever hearing him again. Intended to be lovable, actually unbearable, Jar Jar Binks blows and thats all there is to it.

BONUS: ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ reimagined as a homemade trailer

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/168171128242

[allofbeercom]

Jar Jar Binks, Watto and more most annoying things in the Star Wars universe

Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

Weve been through a lot together, Star Wars fans, from pod-racing to Kylo Rens lightsaber. We’ve dealt with Liam Neesons luxurious hair and Ewan McGregors luxurious hair and Harrison Fords luxurious hair and Adam Drivers luxurious hair.

While most of the journey has been an exciting trip to a world we wished we lived in, there are some notable pain points hate-inducing enough to make even the most loyal of fans curse George Lucas name. Whoose you thinksa Im talking aboutsa?

SEE ALSO: ‘Rogue One’ director justifies reshoots: ‘Star Wars has to be fantastic’

Below, 13 of the most annoying things about Star Wars.

13. Baby Boba Fett

This one tops a lot of lists of worst Star Wars characters, but it’s only because adult Boba Fett is so universally adored. Maybe its the unexciting revelation that he’s a clone of Jango Fett, the Mandalorian warrior who is also cloned for the aptly named Clone Army, that upsets people, or its that their favorite character is unveiled as a dumb kid who spends most of his scenes glaring and silently brooding. He might as well not have been there and maybe it would have been better that way. The mystery was one of the most alluring aspects of Boba Fett to begin with.

12. Ewoks

This is a touchy one. For the record, I do not have a problem with Ewoks. I also, since ceasing to be a 7-year-old kid, see how they could upset some people. Leia meets an animate teddy bear in the woods who threatens her and then immediately needs her help walking through the woods hes supposedly lived in his whole life. Its a stretch for us to believe that this species would have made it through the evolutionary wringer, let alone take down a legion of the most trained, feared and technologically advanced military in the galaxy.

SEE ALSO: Here’s how the ‘Star Wars’ droids could help you survive the holidays

11. Luke Skywalkers Maturity Level

When you watch A New Hope as a kid, Luke Skywalker is your hero. When you watch it again as an adult, you realize, Oh, wow, this guy is a kid.

At the storys beginning, Luke Skywalker is 16 and he acts like it, whining about chores and wishing he could instead go to Tosche station to get power converters. The first thing he does upon entering the Millennium Falcon is moan about what a piece of junk it is. He then interrupts the adults to scream, WHATS THAT FLASHING THING?! while trying to press all the blinking buttons on its dashboard like a spoiled toddler. Luckily for us, and the series, Luke grows up.

10. Nute Gunray

Image: starwars.com

The Neimoidian Viceroy of the Trade Federation and Separatist leader is cowardly, dumb and boring, all the while boasting an offensive Asian accent. Gunray is so bafflingly useless and obviously two-faced, the intelligence of all characters who trust him is immediately suspect. We would rejoice when Darth Sidious orders the newly named Darth Vader to do away with the Viceroy and his buds, but honestly we keep forgetting he exists each time he exits the screen.

9. Boss Nass

Gungans are already hard to love. So when their leader rolls in refusing to cooperate with our heroes and spraying saliva like a bad Richard Nixon impression, its especially hard to get on board. Maybe fans would have hated him less if the good Gungan name hadnt already been soured for so many by a certain Mr. Jar Jar of Binks.

8. Padawan Braid

Image: composite, all photos by starwars.com

George Lucas can call them Padawan braids, a symbol of rank in the Jedi training, but we all know what they are: rat-tails. Its tough to associate the single, long, skinny braid with the calm and enlightened Jedi order when so many of us associate it with that kid down the street who tried to steal beer out of peoples garages. Give us a bearded and long-haired Obi Wan, or No-bi Wan, please.

7. Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

Barf. Barf. Barf. George Lucas claimed he always wished this musical interlude at Jabbas palace in Return of the Jedi could have been an extended sequence, and in 2000, the extreme hubris of the digitally remastered versions gave him his chance. The new CGI iteration of Sy Snootles, lead singer of the Max Rebo band, turned a strange but charming alien into an uncomfortably sexual one. It even threw in some anachronistic backup singers for good measure, along with a loud creature named Joh Yowza screaming in huttese directly into the camera. The tone is completely wrong for the setting, and frankly, its hard to watch. Even more cringe-worthy? The new song theyre singing is called Jedi Rocks. Woof.

6. Young Anakin

You know, maybe the character of Anakin Skywalker was doomed to fail. Maybe nothing could have ever matched our expectations. Darth Vader had been too perfect. He was the baddest baddie we had ever seen, how could his backstory ever have lived up to his future? Or maybe its that George Lucas has seemingly never interacted with a child, so for research, he watched Dennis the Menace and Leave it to Beaver and wrote down a few one-liners before calling it quits so he could spend more time planning Jar Jar Binks hijinks.

The resulting Little Ani is a cloyingly innocent 1950s cartoon character, practically on the verge of saying, Gee Whiz, Mister Qui-Gon! in every scene. Any evidence of his future capacity for deep emotion, any whispers of darkness that might be hidden in his heart, any foreshadowing of the towering villain he is to become is deafeningly absent.

When we saw Voldemorts childhood, we saw the events that led him to mature into an evil mass murderer and it enriched our fear of the villain, making it more confusing, more real. When we saw Darth Vaders childhood, we saw a bunch of lame jokes, a plain personality and pod-racing.

5. Jabba the Hutts Tongue

OH GOD. OH GOD NO. PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH. I CANT LOOK. SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN ITS OVER. IM PUKING. IM PUKING RIGHT NOW.

4. Watto

Image: starwars.com

There is nothing to love about Watto. Hes a slave owner. He constantly flies around on flimsy wings that couldnt possibly support his bulbous, lazy body. Hes smarmy, arrogant and unintelligent. Oh, and hes a monstrously racist stereotype. Greedy, slimy, with a large nose and a middle-eastern accent, Watto feels like every false anti-semitic caricature come to life. The Toydarian junk-dealer takes up way too much space in The Phantom Menace, and honestly, his body looks so fragile its a shock that none of his slaves swatted him to finish him off. I know plenty of fans who are up to the job.

3. Cheesy Dialogue

Now that Im with you again, Im in agony. My heart is beating hoping that a kiss will not become a scar. Love wont save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it. Yes. It’s you, Leia.

Groaaaaaan. Look. George Lucas. Its OK. We all need an editor. Use one.

2. Midi-chlorians

The biggest knife in the back to die-hard Star Wars fans? The introduction of midi-chlorians in The Phantom Menace, answering the enormous question that no one was asking: How does the Force work? Qui-Gon tells us that midi-chlorians are little, microscopic life forms, living inside of cells that are the conduit for the Force.

The thing is, we already had an explanation for the Force from Obi Wan in A New Hope. Retroactively adding details about microscopic life forms living in your body doesnt totally fit with Obi Wans explanation, making our image of the Force messier instead of clearer. Midi-chlorians reduce a beautiful cosmic connection to something physical and less cool. Instead of expanding the Force, they narrow it. People have been frozen in carbonite for less heinous crimes.

1. Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

While many of the above offenders may be worse than the most notorious Gungan, nobody could take home the gold without me receiving a flood of death threats, so here you go! The worst part about Star Wars is Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jars biggest crime is over-exposure. Maybe a measured amount of meesa so dumb dumb moments, executed with surgical precision would have, in fact, been a welcome distraction from an otherwise boring plot. Unfortunately, well never know Jar Jar Binks as anything other than the bumbling moron who pretty much laid out the red carpet for Palpatine to take over the Senate.

Kids loved him. Adults wanted to rip their eyeballs out of their skulls and shove them deep into their eardrums to keep from ever hearing him again. Intended to be lovable, actually unbearable, Jar Jar Binks blows and thats all there is to it.

BONUS: ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ reimagined as a homemade trailer

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/

[jesusvasser]

20 Unique Rides From the 2017 Woodward Dream Cruise

It’s billed as “the world’s largest one-day automotive event,” and each year for at least the last 10 or so it has drawn between 1.0 and 1.5 million attendees and 40,000 or so vintage and, ahem, “special interest” vehicles. The cost of admission? Zip. OK, property owners along the Avenue typically charge owners a few Jacksons to back in, pop the hood, and whip out their folding chairs, but compared with the cost of any single admission ticket on California’s snooty Monterey Peninsula during the same weekend, Woodward is virtually free. Completely removing cost as a barrier to entry encourages diversity the likes of which won’t be seen at Pebble Beach any time soon, spanning from upside-down vans to bizarre oversized Ram/Cummins-powered Hudsons, rat rods, and every big- and small-block muscle machine imaginable.

Motor Trend’s Detroit office garage is situated just 3,718 feet away from Woodward, but your humble technical director’s garage is a mere 518 feet off the historic Avenue. So an editorial team of four scribes and one shooter set up operations there and cruised all week, enlisting chauffeurs from FCA, GM, and Ford, covering Tuesday’s GM Design on Woodward event, and many more. Here are the highlights of the main event.

Upside-Down-&-Backwards GMC Rally Wagon

How ya gonna get people to look at your nice, physically shiny but culturally dull van? By turning it upside down and somehow suspending it from a smaller car’s rolling chassis. Other modifications of note include a sliding side door converted to a top-hinged hatch and a second live axle with differential to spin the van’s skyward-facing front wheels along with the rear ones at something a bit slower than apparent road speed. Visibility is provided by a second set of holes cut into the rear doors above original glass ones.

Lingenfelter 1970 Oldsmobile “442” Vista Cruiser Wagon

Lingenfelter Performance Engineering does most of its business building Corvette and Camaro engines, but for Woodward, why not give a classic Vista Cruiser wagon the full 442 treatment and then some? The “then some” includes a Lingenfelter LS3 Performance Engine topped with an Edelbrock supercharger good for 650 horsepower mated to a Tremec six-speed transmission spinning through a 3.73:1 Eaton posi axle. Ridetech air-ride suspension and Weld wheels round out the package. Yum.

1937 Hudson Terraplane XXXL

This crazy project actually started with a normal-sized Hudson Terraplane but was stretched, widened, tallened (if that were a word) and plopped on a Dodge Ram 2500 diesel truck chassis converted to air suspension. It towers over traffic, perhaps heightening the “plane” aspect (har-har, see what we did there?) of its original nomenclature—though heaven knows what it would take to get this beast off the ground.

Cushman 7-Passenger Skiff

Safety first! Life jackets were being worn as this precious little wooden skiff scurried up the Avenue powered and suspended by the wee 22-hp engine and three-wheel chassis from a Cushman model 898457 Haulster refuse collector. Hopefully they didn’t drive this street-legal beauty all the way from Florida, where its motorcycle license plate hails from.

Snapper’s Buggy & Machine Co. Caterpillar Buggy

Here’s another “car” (pictured at left) where, without any vehicular traffic around it for scale, might almost look “normal.” Might. Actually the big Alcoa semi-tractor front wheels hint at the scale pretty well. Instead of burnouts, this one did “rolling coal” demos on demand #WeDontNeedNoStinkingParticleTraps.

Tommy’s Rod Shop Chopped School Bus

Folks come to Woodward from far and wide. Case in point: this too-cool-for-school bus from Guthrie, Kentucky. It’s an easy low step up from the road, but the basketball team had better watch their heads while climbing aboard.

1971 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Donk Cabrio

Most of the really big-wheel cars came out to cruise after dark, perhaps to show off their underbody and wheel-well lighting, but this one was bold enough to show off its pristine bodywork in the bright afternoon sunlight. Hot rods were admitted to Pebble Beach a few years ago—can the Donks be far behind? Yes. Very far indeed.

Circa 1970 Chevrolet Nova “Silver Bullet” Superbird

The front license plate identifies the owner/driver as a “fortunate son,” and indeed this is some machine he has been blessed with. The mind fairly boggles as to what must be under that hood, sucking great lungfuls of air through that elaborate hood, and just imagine the rear-end stick that wing must endow this baby with when turning into Michigan International Speedway’s turn three at 200-plus mph …

1948 Chevrolet Fleetline Fastback

Patina is the new black. Many cars observed had faux patina painted or stenciled onto their bodywork, but we’re rather more convinced by this one’s, erm, “finish.” Equal parts factory sheetmetal, rebar, and heavy-duty chain comprise the exterior surface with lovely details such as metal spiders on the grille. We’re not sure what the engine is, but it must be valuable—there’s a hefty padlock securing the hood.

Char’s Poultry Grooming 1966 Chevrolet C10 Custom Stepside

Trucks and riffs thereon were popular at Woodward this year. This 1966 Chevy is owned by retired air force serviceman Mario Guarnaccia of Mars, Pennsylvania. It’s named after his wife Charlene (Char) who is a Finn (which explains the “Finlandia” and flag inside). They have chickens, so Char decided to have the “poultry grooming” mural painted on the door. Naturally chickens don’t get dolled up, but apparently lots of folks enquire as to how the Guarnaccias groom chickens. The couple bought the truck six years ago for $600, and Mario did all the work himself, which included chopping the rearmost 2.5 feet off the 8-foot bed.

Troy Police Burnout Enforcement Unit?

Many jurisdictions pitch in to help secure the Woodward Dream Cruise, but the Troy, Michigan, boundaries do not include any stretch of Woodward Avenue. This “officer” must have been a tourist.

Jurassic Park Motor Pool 1992 Jeep Wranglers

Extreme fans will go to great lengths to express their love for movie franchises. The first two Jeeps in this lineup have completed their transition to Jurassic world tour vehicles, probably following the build instructions from www.jpmotorpool.com. The third Jeep in line has only gotten about as far as the license plate.

1956 Mercury Custom

That’s our best stab at what this long, low, lovely custom started its life as before getting its Cadillac taillamps and luggage-loading-inhibitor wing. The level of body and paintwork is stunning. There are a lot of folks in the Detroit area who are exceptionally gifted in these arts …

Rat Rods ‘R Us

Having missed several of the last Woodward Dream Cruises, your 500-foot adjacent editor was surprised at the number of full-on ultra-slammed, heavily patinated rat rods were prowling the avenue. They’re definitely a thing—and a good thing at that.

1964 Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport Roadster

It’s probably safe to say that during the Woodward Dream Cruise, cars originally intended to fulfill a performance mission slightly outnumber those designed for more quotidian pursuits. The Corvette Grand Sport was certainly a benchmark performer in its day. It’s a fair bet that this one’s a clone or tribute car, but we didn’t take down the seller’s number to find out for sure.

1937 Ford Model 78 Cabriolet

The Woodward Dream Cruise is all about having fun, and that often involves props—such as Kermit The Frog in a coordinating shade of green. This car probably has had an interesting history—note the right-hand drive.

1968-’73 Datsun 510

Woodward welcomes all makes and models, and although domestic fare predominates, there are plenty of imported gems such as this five-and-dime Datsun wearing minor battle scars and doffing its bumpers and radio antenna.

2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser GT Art Car

Art cars are a perennial feature of the Woodward Cruise, and this Marine has clearly festooned Bryan Nesbitt’s original design with about a thousand skulls, crossbones, and skeletal hands, plus more than a few handgun images thrown in for good measure.

Boss Hoss 572 Bike

So you think you’re a big man controlling 707 or 808 horses in a big heavy four-wheeler, eh? Well real men rock a 625-hp 572-cubic-inch Bow Tie Big Block between their legs with one-wheel drive. And the

from PerformanceJunk Feed http://ift.tt/2vjR8ZA via IFTTT

from Performance Junk WP Feed 4 http://ift.tt/2fZXlrV via IFTTT

[robertkstone]

20 Unique Rides From the 2017 Woodward Dream Cruise

It’s billed as “the world’s largest one-day automotive event,” and each year for at least the last 10 or so it has drawn between 1.0 and 1.5 million attendees and 40,000 or so vintage and, ahem, “special interest” vehicles. The cost of admission? Zip. OK, property owners along the Avenue typically charge owners a few Jacksons to back in, pop the hood, and whip out their folding chairs, but compared with the cost of any single admission ticket on California’s snooty Monterey Peninsula during the same weekend, Woodward is virtually free. Completely removing cost as a barrier to entry encourages diversity the likes of which won’t be seen at Pebble Beach any time soon, spanning from upside-down vans to bizarre oversized Ram/Cummins-powered Hudsons, rat rods, and every big- and small-block muscle machine imaginable.

Motor Trend’s Detroit office garage is situated just 3,718 feet away from Woodward, but your humble technical director’s garage is a mere 518 feet off the historic Avenue. So an editorial team of four scribes and one shooter set up operations there and cruised all week, enlisting chauffeurs from FCA, GM, and Ford, covering Tuesday’s GM Design on Woodward event, and many more. Here are the highlights of the main event.

Upside-Down-&-Backwards GMC Rally Wagon

How ya gonna get people to look at your nice, physically shiny but culturally dull van? By turning it upside down and somehow suspending it from a smaller car’s rolling chassis. Other modifications of note include a sliding side door converted to a top-hinged hatch and a second live axle with differential to spin the van’s skyward-facing front wheels along with the rear ones at something a bit slower than apparent road speed. Visibility is provided by a second set of holes cut into the rear doors above original glass ones.

Lingenfelter 1970 Oldsmobile “442” Vista Cruiser Wagon

Lingenfelter Performance Engineering does most of its business building Corvette and Camaro engines, but for Woodward, why not give a classic Vista Cruiser wagon the full 442 treatment and then some? The “then some” includes a Lingenfelter LS3 Performance Engine topped with an Edelbrock supercharger good for 650 horsepower mated to a Tremec six-speed transmission spinning through a 3.73:1 Eaton posi axle. Ridetech air-ride suspension and Weld wheels round out the package. Yum.

1937 Hudson Terraplane XXXL

This crazy project actually started with a normal-sized Hudson Terraplane but was stretched, widened, tallened (if that were a word) and plopped on a Dodge Ram 2500 diesel truck chassis converted to air suspension. It towers over traffic, perhaps heightening the “plane” aspect (har-har, see what we did there?) of its original nomenclature—though heaven knows what it would take to get this beast off the ground.

Cushman 7-Passenger Skiff

Safety first! Life jackets were being worn as this precious little wooden skiff scurried up the Avenue powered and suspended by the wee 22-hp engine and three-wheel chassis from a Cushman model 898457 Haulster refuse collector. Hopefully they didn’t drive this street-legal beauty all the way from Florida, where its motorcycle license plate hails from.

Snapper’s Buggy & Machine Co. Caterpillar Buggy

Here’s another “car” (pictured at left) where, without any vehicular traffic around it for scale, might almost look “normal.” Might. Actually the big Alcoa semi-tractor front wheels hint at the scale pretty well. Instead of burnouts, this one did “rolling coal” demos on demand #WeDontNeedNoStinkingParticleTraps.

Tommy’s Rod Shop Chopped School Bus

Folks come to Woodward from far and wide. Case in point: this too-cool-for-school bus from Guthrie, Kentucky. It’s an easy low step up from the road, but the basketball team had better watch their heads while climbing aboard.

1971 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Donk Cabrio

Most of the really big-wheel cars came out to cruise after dark, perhaps to show off their underbody and wheel-well lighting, but this one was bold enough to show off its pristine bodywork in the bright afternoon sunlight. Hot rods were admitted to Pebble Beach a few years ago—can the Donks be far behind? Yes. Very far indeed.

Circa 1970 Chevrolet Nova “Silver Bullet” Superbird

The front license plate identifies the owner/driver as a “fortunate son,” and indeed this is some machine he has been blessed with. The mind fairly boggles as to what must be under that hood, sucking great lungfuls of air through that elaborate hood, and just imagine the rear-end stick that wing must endow this baby with when turning into Michigan International Speedway’s turn three at 200-plus mph …

1948 Chevrolet Fleetline Fastback

Patina is the new black. Many cars observed had faux patina painted or stenciled onto their bodywork, but we’re rather more convinced by this one’s, erm, “finish.” Equal parts factory sheetmetal, rebar, and heavy-duty chain comprise the exterior surface with lovely details such as metal spiders on the grille. We’re not sure what the engine is, but it must be valuable—there’s a hefty padlock securing the hood.

Char’s Poultry Grooming 1966 Chevrolet C10 Custom Stepside

Trucks and riffs thereon were popular at Woodward this year. This 1966 Chevy is owned by retired air force serviceman Mario Guarnaccia of Mars, Pennsylvania. It’s named after his wife Charlene (Char) who is a Finn (which explains the “Finlandia” and flag inside). They have chickens, so Char decided to have the “poultry grooming” mural painted on the door. Naturally chickens don’t get dolled up, but apparently lots of folks enquire as to how the Guarnaccias groom chickens. The couple bought the truck six years ago for $600, and Mario did all the work himself, which included chopping the rearmost 2.5 feet off the 8-foot bed.

Troy Police Burnout Enforcement Unit?

Many jurisdictions pitch in to help secure the Woodward Dream Cruise, but the Troy, Michigan, boundaries do not include any stretch of Woodward Avenue. This “officer” must have been a tourist.

Jurassic Park Motor Pool 1992 Jeep Wranglers

Extreme fans will go to great lengths to express their love for movie franchises. The first two Jeeps in this lineup have completed their transition to Jurassic world tour vehicles, probably following the build instructions from www.jpmotorpool.com. The third Jeep in line has only gotten about as far as the license plate.

1956 Mercury Custom

That’s our best stab at what this long, low, lovely custom started its life as before getting its Cadillac taillamps and luggage-loading-inhibitor wing. The level of body and paintwork is stunning. There are a lot of folks in the Detroit area who are exceptionally gifted in these arts …

Rat Rods ‘R Us

Having missed several of the last Woodward Dream Cruises, your 500-foot adjacent editor was surprised at the number of full-on ultra-slammed, heavily patinated rat rods were prowling the avenue. They’re definitely a thing—and a good thing at that.

1964 Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport Roadster

It’s probably safe to say that during the Woodward Dream Cruise, cars originally intended to fulfill a performance mission slightly outnumber those designed for more quotidian pursuits. The Corvette Grand Sport was certainly a benchmark performer in its day. It’s a fair bet that this one’s a clone or tribute car, but we didn’t take down the seller’s number to find out for sure.

1937 Ford Model 78 Cabriolet

The Woodward Dream Cruise is all about having fun, and that often involves props—such as Kermit The Frog in a coordinating shade of green. This car probably has had an interesting history—note the right-hand drive.

1968-’73 Datsun 510

Woodward welcomes all makes and models, and although domestic fare predominates, there are plenty of imported gems such as this five-and-dime Datsun wearing minor battle scars and doffing its bumpers and radio antenna.

2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser GT Art Car

Art cars are a perennial feature of the Woodward Cruise, and this Marine has clearly festooned Bryan Nesbitt’s original design with about a thousand skulls, crossbones, and skeletal hands, plus more than a few handgun images thrown in for good measure.

Boss Hoss 572 Bike

So you think you’re a big man controlling 707 or 808 horses in a big heavy four-wheeler, eh? Well real men rock a 625-hp 572-cubic-inch Bow Tie Big Block between their legs with one-wheel drive. And the

from PerformanceJunk Feed http://ift.tt/2vjR8ZA via IFTTT

from PerformanceJunk WP Feed 3 http://ift.tt/2fZXlrV via IFTTT

[robertkstone]

20 Unique Rides From the 2017 Woodward Dream Cruise

It’s billed as “the world’s largest one-day automotive event,” and each year for at least the last 10 or so it has drawn between 1.0 and 1.5 million attendees and 40,000 or so vintage and, ahem, “special interest” vehicles. The cost of admission? Zip. OK, property owners along the Avenue typically charge owners a few Jacksons to back in, pop the hood, and whip out their folding chairs, but compared with the cost of any single admission ticket on California’s snooty Monterey Peninsula during the same weekend, Woodward is virtually free. Completely removing cost as a barrier to entry encourages diversity the likes of which won’t be seen at Pebble Beach any time soon, spanning from upside-down vans to bizarre oversized Ram/Cummins-powered Hudsons, rat rods, and every big- and small-block muscle machine imaginable.

Motor Trend’s Detroit office garage is situated just 3,718 feet away from Woodward, but your humble technical director’s garage is a mere 518 feet off the historic Avenue. So an editorial team of four scribes and one shooter set up operations there and cruised all week, enlisting chauffeurs from FCA, GM, and Ford, covering Tuesday’s GM Design on Woodward event, and many more. Here are the highlights of the main event.

Upside-Down-&-Backwards GMC Rally Wagon

How ya gonna get people to look at your nice, physically shiny but culturally dull van? By turning it upside down and somehow suspending it from a smaller car’s rolling chassis. Other modifications of note include a sliding side door converted to a top-hinged hatch and a second live axle with differential to spin the van’s skyward-facing front wheels along with the rear ones at something a bit slower than apparent road speed. Visibility is provided by a second set of holes cut into the rear doors above original glass ones.

Lingenfelter 1970 Oldsmobile “442” Vista Cruiser Wagon

Lingenfelter Performance Engineering does most of its business building Corvette and Camaro engines, but for Woodward, why not give a classic Vista Cruiser wagon the full 442 treatment and then some? The “then some” includes a Lingenfelter LS3 Performance Engine topped with an Edelbrock supercharger good for 650 horsepower mated to a Tremec six-speed transmission spinning through a 3.73:1 Eaton posi axle. Ridetech air-ride suspension and Weld wheels round out the package. Yum.

1937 Hudson Terraplane XXXL

This crazy project actually started with a normal-sized Hudson Terraplane but was stretched, widened, tallened (if that were a word) and plopped on a Dodge Ram 2500 diesel truck chassis converted to air suspension. It towers over traffic, perhaps heightening the “plane” aspect (har-har, see what we did there?) of its original nomenclature—though heaven knows what it would take to get this beast off the ground.

Cushman 7-Passenger Skiff

Safety first! Life jackets were being worn as this precious little wooden skiff scurried up the Avenue powered and suspended by the wee 22-hp engine and three-wheel chassis from a Cushman model 898457 Haulster refuse collector. Hopefully they didn’t drive this street-legal beauty all the way from Florida, where its motorcycle license plate hails from.

Snapper’s Buggy & Machine Co. Caterpillar Buggy

Here’s another “car” (pictured at left) where, without any vehicular traffic around it for scale, might almost look “normal.” Might. Actually the big Alcoa semi-tractor front wheels hint at the scale pretty well. Instead of burnouts, this one did “rolling coal” demos on demand #WeDontNeedNoStinkingParticleTraps.

Tommy’s Rod Shop Chopped School Bus

Folks come to Woodward from far and wide. Case in point: this too-cool-for-school bus from Guthrie, Kentucky. It’s an easy low step up from the road, but the basketball team had better watch their heads while climbing aboard.

1971 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Donk Cabrio

Most of the really big-wheel cars came out to cruise after dark, perhaps to show off their underbody and wheel-well lighting, but this one was bold enough to show off its pristine bodywork in the bright afternoon sunlight. Hot rods were admitted to Pebble Beach a few years ago—can the Donks be far behind? Yes. Very far indeed.

Circa 1970 Chevrolet Nova “Silver Bullet” Superbird

The front license plate identifies the owner/driver as a “fortunate son,” and indeed this is some machine he has been blessed with. The mind fairly boggles as to what must be under that hood, sucking great lungfuls of air through that elaborate hood, and just imagine the rear-end stick that wing must endow this baby with when turning into Michigan International Speedway’s turn three at 200-plus mph …

1948 Chevrolet Fleetline Fastback

Patina is the new black. Many cars observed had faux patina painted or stenciled onto their bodywork, but we’re rather more convinced by this one’s, erm, “finish.” Equal parts factory sheetmetal, rebar, and heavy-duty chain comprise the exterior surface with lovely details such as metal spiders on the grille. We’re not sure what the engine is, but it must be valuable—there’s a hefty padlock securing the hood.

Char’s Poultry Grooming 1966 Chevrolet C10 Custom Stepside

Trucks and riffs thereon were popular at Woodward this year. This 1966 Chevy is owned by retired air force serviceman Mario Guarnaccia of Mars, Pennsylvania. It’s named after his wife Charlene (Char) who is a Finn (which explains the “Finlandia” and flag inside). They have chickens, so Char decided to have the “poultry grooming” mural painted on the door. Naturally chickens don’t get dolled up, but apparently lots of folks enquire as to how the Guarnaccias groom chickens. The couple bought the truck six years ago for $600, and Mario did all the work himself, which included chopping the rearmost 2.5 feet off the 8-foot bed.

Troy Police Burnout Enforcement Unit?

Many jurisdictions pitch in to help secure the Woodward Dream Cruise, but the Troy, Michigan, boundaries do not include any stretch of Woodward Avenue. This “officer” must have been a tourist.

Jurassic Park Motor Pool 1992 Jeep Wranglers

Extreme fans will go to great lengths to express their love for movie franchises. The first two Jeeps in this lineup have completed their transition to Jurassic world tour vehicles, probably following the build instructions from www.jpmotorpool.com. The third Jeep in line has only gotten about as far as the license plate.

1956 Mercury Custom

That’s our best stab at what this long, low, lovely custom started its life as before getting its Cadillac taillamps and luggage-loading-inhibitor wing. The level of body and paintwork is stunning. There are a lot of folks in the Detroit area who are exceptionally gifted in these arts …

Rat Rods ‘R Us

Having missed several of the last Woodward Dream Cruises, your 500-foot adjacent editor was surprised at the number of full-on ultra-slammed, heavily patinated rat rods were prowling the avenue. They’re definitely a thing—and a good thing at that.

1964 Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport Roadster

It’s probably safe to say that during the Woodward Dream Cruise, cars originally intended to fulfill a performance mission slightly outnumber those designed for more quotidian pursuits. The Corvette Grand Sport was certainly a benchmark performer in its day. It’s a fair bet that this one’s a clone or tribute car, but we didn’t take down the seller’s number to find out for sure.

1937 Ford Model 78 Cabriolet

The Woodward Dream Cruise is all about having fun, and that often involves props—such as Kermit The Frog in a coordinating shade of green. This car probably has had an interesting history—note the right-hand drive.

1968-’73 Datsun 510

Woodward welcomes all makes and models, and although domestic fare predominates, there are plenty of imported gems such as this five-and-dime Datsun wearing minor battle scars and doffing its bumpers and radio antenna.

2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser GT Art Car

Art cars are a perennial feature of the Woodward Cruise, and this Marine has clearly festooned Bryan Nesbitt’s original design with about a thousand skulls, crossbones, and skeletal hands, plus more than a few handgun images thrown in for good measure.

Boss Hoss 572 Bike

So you think you’re a big man controlling 707 or 808 horses in a big heavy four-wheeler, eh? Well real men rock a 625-hp 572-cubic-inch Bow Tie Big Block between their legs with one-wheel drive. And the from PerformanceJunk WP Feed 3 http://ift.tt/2vjR8ZA via IFTTT