#{Out of Luck} OOC

[whirling-fangs]

[[so uh.... i've made an interesting purchase at a con today ....]]

[recitedemise]

Me watching God!Gale videos and people commenting 'this reveals who Gale was all along.'

Girl. What. No, it doesn't. It reveals Gale's INSECRUITIES that were not at all subtle throughout the entire game, that YOU chalked up as 'an arrogant man who just didn't know when to stop', and did NOTHING to help him understand that he is good enough just as he is.

Surely, we did not look at Gale's bad ending, Gale's ending where he does not fulfil his character arc, Gale's ending where he never got better, was never GIVEN better or told better or shown better, Gale's ending where you quite literally only bolstered his insecurities the WHOLE WAY THOUGH as the ending where Gale 'reveals his true personality.'

Man. I am so. Sorry it was just too hard for you to look at a dying man who was told to off himself by his goddess and simply say 'the Gale you are now is worth life and compassion.' Heaven forbid.

[forgottenluck]

Headed Towards 2024!

2023 in Retrospect

2023 has been.....a year. There were a lot of changes for me this year, and though not a lot with Koun changed, a lot happened irl. I didn't talk about a lot of it, though I did mention a few things here and there when I had enough energy to be online.

It's been....hectic.

A lot of life changes have happened; Being kicked out of our apartment due to a shitty landlord, my mother having a bunch of medical changes...then moving into a nursing home, Me finally being out on my own and no longer tied down by her.....I've gotten a promotion at work, finally able to make a difference there enough for even my DM to notice me.

Things are still rocky. I'm still finding my footing, working to figure out ways to boost my income since i no longer have to be wary of that. It's a lot. A lot to take in, a lot to adjust too.

Those who helped me keep going

I know that I was absent quite a bit...more so than I normally am on here. But there's been a few people who have really helped me keep going, helped me to want to be on here, helped me when things were dark. People who have stuck with me despite me vanishing from time to time because my energy to write comes and goes as my ADHD hits me with new hyperfocuses. Below are the people who have continued to check up on me, offer support when I needed it, and all around been very active with me OOC and IC.

@bishonenprince - You are seriously a light that I'm not sure I would be the same without. I know we just met this year, but I already consider you one of my closest friends on tumblr. You've managed to stick with me, despite me going dark a few times, been understanding to it. Our muses have such an interesting dynamic, and I can't wait to see how it grows. They'll likely still have their fights, still have bumps....that's just who they are. But Sora can't shake Koun, just like it'll be massively difficult for you to shake me.

@ofstarsandskies - Kika you lovable dork, You've been there in the background, liking posts, and we've spoken OOC quite often. I absolutely love how you and your muses are so supportive, and it means an absolute bunch to me that you've stuck around despite Koun being an absolute dick at times. I absolutely look forward to the new year, and possibly a new Koun for the brothers to interact with. He's softening...definitely.

@pastelfates - Verius my love, you've stuck with me for so long now, I don't exactly know what to do without you. This year was hard on me, and some of the things you did to help me, and cheer me up mean the world to me. I can't explain how much these things helped me, boosted my mood when I was in really dark places. I know you probably thought they were very little things....but to me, they meant the world. Eventually I'll figure out a way to repay you for all you've done for me....eventually.

@morifactory - In the same vein as Verius, Lena you've really been there in the background, silently supporting me. Earlier this year was...hectic. In all the wrong ways, and I'm glad that we've managed to go past it. I do plan on attempting to rp with more of your characters, (you just have so many I don't know where to start aaaaaaaaaAAAAA) but I look forward to this new year with you, and know that if you ever need anything, you can always count on me.

@loversquiver - Yukari my dear, though you aren't on tumblr much anymore, we definitely continue stuff OOC on discord. You're constantly checking in on me, making sure I'm okay. This means so much to me, and I really can't wait to see what the new year brings for these two dorks!

@taleswritten - Jay, I know we don't write nearly as much, but what we do, I absolutely love. I love that we communicate OOC, and you haven't been run off by my open-ness. This coming year I am gonna try to reach out to people more, you included, but I loved meeting you this year.

The people above are those who have stood out to me, made continous efforts, or have been with me for a long time. They mean a lot to me, and I can't wait to continue our stories together.

New friends that I've made just this year and can't wait to make more memories together!: @sootbled/@sootborn, @ama-tcra-su, @bonescribes, @thalassancharm, @talesofourworlds, @hxroic-wxlls

Good friends that I love to see on my dash! We might not have interacted much this year but hopefully next year! @juwul, @alm1ghtysea, @serenitasmusas, @miraiconnection, @ad-simul

If you're not on the list above, please don't fret. I likely just missed you! I do interact with a decent amount of people, and if we haven't interacted in a while, then it's likely i missed you. I appreciate every single one of my followers, and those who interact with me!

Moving into 2024

My plans for this next year....are a lot. For this blog, for tumblr in general, for my life.

This blog won't change much. I do want to reach out to more people, write more in general. I enjoy writing, I do! I just have to take breaks every few months to recharge so that I don't completely get burnt out on it. Koun is my second longest character to stay with me (the first is Erika for those of you who remember the cute little cupcake.). I do want to write more in general. Interact with more people, Help Koun grow more.

For tumblr in general, I do plan on reopening a multimuse sideblog. Well...a few, tbh. One of them is still in the works, but @zcrosht is almost fully functional. I need to get a few more icons made, and some graphics done (if anyone's willing to help me out on graphics that'd be lovely.) and the Rules/bios up, but It's ready to rp with! It'll be my first time rping Canon characters, so it'll be interesting.

For my life goals....I want to get a bit more financially stable. I'm going from only spending 250 a month on rent to 450-500, and despite the promotion it's still a bit difficult. I'll need to figure out how to boost that up without finding a new job (because I like my job now and I need to get supervisor experience so when I do go into a new job i can go in as a supervisor to get more money than grunt work.). It's going to be a learning curve....but I think I can handle it. I've made it this far.....I can keep going. I also plan on changing my diet and working to get a bit fitter.....I'm too close to 200lbs and I don't like it. (I look tiny though I do not know where all this weight is how the hell does this work--). I also need to go to the doctor for some health related issues that I need to get addressed. (mainly sleep and possibly ADHD meds....who knows.)

In general....I'm the happiest I've been in years. I'm the calmest I've been in years. The changes that happened in 2023...I think were for the better. Once I get all the kinks figured out.....I'll be good. It's a new chapter, and i think....I think it's a good one.

[outoftouchsoldier]

/ / Sorry to those who I've yet to respond to, I've just been a bit busy preparing to shoot my short films. I promise I'll get around to you all ASAP :)

[decidentia]

Thanks to everyone who voted in the poll. ♡ The result was almost 50/50, so I’ve followed my gut and given Royce his own blog. If you’re interested in interacting with him, give this post a like or drop me a DM and I’ll follow you from there.

[talentforlying]

tbh clarice's identity reveal has got me thinking about making a percy jackson au for the 9347350th time, but i still cannot imagine a SINGLE goddess who would get with thomas constantine's musty ass, and almost none of the gods feel right in my mind. maybe hermes??

alternative is that he's not actually a demigod at all and is just an ominously long-lived outside contractor who can see through the mist and hoards magical artifacts like a dragon. pretends he's a son of hecate but that's just to bolster his reputation, innit. she is Not a fan. No God is a fan. i'm kind of liking that idea more, actually.

[rebelband]

:D they look at each other

[ardenssolis]

[FDSFDSSF appearing out of nowhere with a random story time but like -- if you ever approach me about shipping and I say lets explore things normally and see where it goes from there, but then you get weird with me later, then I will sideways peace sign and softblock you. I had someone do that to me once where they wanted to ship our muses, but I told them I liked what was going on between them as friends because the chemistry for that was really strong; however, it would take work for me to see them romantically since I wasn't feeling that connection going on. Not to say it was impossible. Just that it might need work. Needless to say they just kind of up and stopped interacting with me / sending me things to my inbox when they were all but excited to do it before. I think about this from time to time and am like, "8 //////".]

[4kts]

Hehehehe sorry for the radio silence, im almost done making the second batch of bots 😼

Here's belial sneak peek(kinda? Sorta? Idk).... He is so sweet........

[dirtylimerick]

Thinking about...

- muses getting trapped under collapsed buildings

- muses caught in wildfires

- muses kidnapped or kept hostage

- muses stranded on deserted islands

- muses stuck at sea in a lifeboat or clinging to wreckage

- muses in post-apocalyptic situations

- muses in any kind of peril that they can't escape; they just have to wait for help to find them (if it finds them)

[ofweave]

post - game. you come to visit gale in waterdeep only to learn that professor dekarios is on vacation. where, you ask. an exasperated blackstaff employee points you to the yawning portal. yeah gales in the undermountain (again).

[forgottenluck]

This is....extremely hard for me to write. It's not going to be a happy post. I'll put the meat of it under a readmore, since there's....a lot to explain.

This morning, (Wednesday April 3rd) at 6:15am, My mother left us.

I knew that this was coming, sooner than later. The past few weeks have been hard.

She had no quality of life. She couldn't get up in bed, she definitely couldn't walk. She'd been bed-bound for 6 months. There's been close calls before too....when she's had UTIs and covid. The last time she got a UTI I....really thought I was going to loose her. She looked so bad, couldn't stay awake for more than a few moments...

It was nothing like this.

I went to visit her on Thursday of last week, before my convention. She wasn't great, but she was still responding to me, still eating if i helped her. She didn't eat much....but it was something. I figured it was another one of her dips. She's always been on a roller coaster, health wise. She'd have good moments, she'd have bad. It was always a toss up on a given day that she'd be good or bad.

She never recovered from this one.

And my Aunt, who took over careing for her and handling her affairs so that I could escape from that, did not tell me until Sunday evening. Though at that point, it was just "she's not doing great" type of deal. Monday was the same.

Then Tuesday came. I was feeling good, ready to get back to work after my little vacation. I was chipper, happy.....Only to get a message from my aunt saying that Hospice had called her, to tell her that the end was extremely close.

I dropped everything and ran up to the Nursing Home to see for myself, since there'd been plenty of times where the alarm had been sounded but she actually wasn't that bad.

But she was.

She was not awake at all. They hadn't given her anything, but she wouldn't wake up. She was so tiny and skinny from not eating, palid and grey....it's indescribable unless you've been through it yourself. I knew at that moment that she wasn't going to last long. I stayed with her for hours until the weather forced me to get home. She was still drinking water....to an extent. It had to be on little sponges that she would suck on. But she was running a fever that never left, her oxygen level had tanked to the point where they put her on oxygen.

But the clencher was the rattle. I knew what that was. I'd heard it before.

Hospice said since she was still drinking water, she likely would live through the night.....and she did. Just barely.

I'm glad I got to see her one last time. To tell her that it was okay. That i'd be okay. Eventually. Even if she couldn't hear me. I think she was waiting for me to come, since it was only about half a day later that she passed on.

Close friends of mine will know that while I might have complained a lot, had a lot of issues with my mother......I loved her dearly. I was super close with her even if it was a massive strain on me. I was her main caretaker for 15 years. I sacrificed my youth, my teenage years, my college years....so that I could make sure she was okay, was alive, was healthy. She was my world for so long.

And now my world is very broken.

A part of me is glad. Glad that she's not suffering anymore. Glad she went in her sleep. She's not in pain anymore. She doesn't have to sit and lay in that tiny little room with people she doesn't know. She doesn't have to worry about what pills she has to take, or how they're going to get her changed. She doesn't have to worry about anything anymore.

But the rest of me is devastated. I no longer get to see her. I no longer get to hear her voice, or talk with her about her favorite shows. No more sitting with her and watching the news. No more lunches, dinners with her. Nothing. It's a big empty hole that can't be filled easily.

I feel like a bird that's been given freedom....only to have one of it's wings broken, rendering it unable to fly.

It's hard. Harder than anything one could imagine. Loosing family is not something to be wished upon to anyone. I've cried so much today that I just feel empty....and I still have to figure out funeral arrangements and the like.

I'm not...going to have a lot of energy for tumblr for a bit. I might respond to a few things, to attempt to get my mind off things....but it'll be very sparce for a while. I know i've been sparce for a bit....as my adhd has caused me to focus on other things....but this is a completely different animal to that.

I'll be back. I will. And I'll be here off and on. Just....give me a bit of time to heal.

[ramshacklestar]

Excited noises! I wasn't expecting to get him so quickly 💚🦇

[goofily-moved]

I have a job interview in an hour!

[sakurarisen]

Just as a heads up, I might be spotty for a while! We're, yet again, having net issues and today's been a mess of trying to keep it up to actually get anything done for more than three seconds, and when it is, doing anything with images - even trying to add an icon to a post - is a nightmare. Don't know when it'll be fixed, or even if it'll be fixed at all, but I'm hanging out in the background trying to get stuff done regardless! <3

~Pom

[shrineofprophecy]

I want soft shippy threads but I love the build up especially... the awkwardness, figuring out one's feelings and whether it's mutual. Or maybe they both know but they can't act upon it so easily due to their role(s). Or just the playfulness in every day life, the little hints of affection that give the other butterflies and wanting more. You know what I mean?