#’imagine’ is italicized bc all we can ever do is imagine it

[aregrettablechoiceofwords]

Ok but imagine being half someone’s soul, as the poets say.

[cyancherub]

USER CYANCHERUB YOU ARE INCREDIBLE- YOUR MIND!!!!! gunsmoke in mirrors killed me and brought me back like 4 times. from the beginning I was completely and utterly sucked in, I have never been this absorbed in a fanfic before. it's just like I was reading a full-length novel and you wrote it so well I not only watched everything happen, I felt like I was there. my heart was thumping, hands shaking, sweating, body trembling the whole way through. I felt the fear, desperation, excitement, all of it.

and can we talk about the smut? bc OH MY GOD. when kogami picked us up and held us up with only one arm and a hip???? I short circuited so bad. and so much teasing holy shit but every second of it was meaningful and worth it. the way you wrote kogami as so desperate but with so much self restraint was perfect. and the twists!!! holy shit the twists?? after he pulled the trigger I had to take a break and stare at the wall for a few minutes because it was so intense and I just??? I dunno but I needed to let that sink in. and then we got the aftercare scene, which was so incredibly sweet, and once that was over I couldn't do anything but sit and stare at the wall again for another 10 minutes.

AND THE DIALOGUE JASKLDJF especially those italicized lines holy fUCK. those crumbs you were feeding us were already amazing and then you went and did that FOR THE ENTIRE FIC. you have such a way with words, this felt like something that should be studied in a lit program and it was beautiful.

I don't think I'll ever get over this. you are so incredibly talented and this fic was a work of art. I actually finished reading like 12 hours ago but I just had so many feelings I needed to let them marinate a bit before I even attempted to talk about how great this is.

THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS ASK SO IF U SEE THIS TEXT BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE KEEP SCROLLING AKLSDLK

ok sorry i have to do that because i cant readmore asks LMAOO

BUT AHHHHHHHHH ! ! ! ! SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE i wanted to wait until i could give this ask more attention but. IM SCREAMIGDNSSGLKLK i love this so much THANK U !!!!!! U ARE SO KIND ! ! !!

IM SO GLAD IT WAS IMMERSIVE ;v; that is always what i want to accomplish with my fics especially because they tend to be so long so i want to make sure the reader is sucked in. SO IT IS SO GREAT TO HEAR THAT !!!! im glad that you felt all the tension & the anxiety that the reader was feeling !!!! that was the goal i am so stoked to hear it !!

ASKLDKLALKLK my god the smut ..... i was going through it over that man !!!! when i was writing it i was just. LOSING MY MARBLES OVER HIM!!! yes ... i think he would be such a tease,, i mean i like all my men to tease BUT him in particular because he's really patient? i think he has the capacity for it. YES THE SELF RESTRAINT !!! he will put himself thru it ... a bit of a masochist if i may say so myself LMAOO. BUT AHHHHH omg,, YES the part right before the twist was so intense to write so im stoked that it came thru as intense as i intended !!!

(rest is under a readmore for spoilers ish?)

BUT EEEEE yes. what a babe. i think the aftercare with him would be nice .. very quiet and peaceful. IM GONNA TEAR MY HAIR OUT AKLSKL i want this man !! i just know he would take such good care of u.

A LIT PROGRAM IM SCREAMINGAKLLK can u imagine ... LMFAOOO but truly. i appreciate the kind words so much !!!! they are everything to meeee !!! ;____; im kissing you so much for this!!! THANK U FOR SENDING THIS i am going to cherish this ask forever !!!

[thehopeelias]

More tutb art? Big shocker 🤣🤣

@maybemayura read the first half of tutb for her first time recently so I felt like I got to relive some of my favorite parts! One chapter that I ended up going on and on about was chapter 22 when Nathalie tried to leave. I realized just how much I loved this chapter and thought I’d share some of my analysis from it!

Before you keep reading, there’s obviously huge spoilers here so if you haven’t read Throwing Up These Butterflies by @mymayura then go do that first!!

The main thing that gets me is when she couldnt zip up her sweater bc she was getting so much bigger! its such a small detail but mm was able to make me feel so hard with nathalie’s inability to ZIP HER SWEATER. like there she was trying to leave the man she feels she is burdening and ruining his life. she wants to be capaple of at least sparing him her troubles. and she cant even zip her freaking coat because of HER mistake. HER stupid wish that caused all these problems to begin with. but how can she be mad at her stomach? she WISHED for it! she wants it more than anything! thats why the wish happened. its her deepest desire and the very reason she is leaving and the very reason she cant. zip. her freakin. sweater. its this endless loop of emotions that happen in such a meaningless task.

ive reread it quite a few times 🙈 and have focused on each of their sides during the scene. i love the complexity of nathalie’s side the most from that scene because of the overwhelming amount of emotions she is facing from all angles. she’s hating the man she loves on top of ALL of that. but gabriel’s side is incredible too! and reading it from his side, he is so desperate to keep her because he WANTS her. but he is SO afraid of losing her. she is walking out of the door because of HIM and if he pushes or does something wrong, the fear of her and his child dying is on the brig. not the right word but just right there. all he can think about. this scene was so pivotal because it became too much for gabriel. the fear of losing her from his house and losing her from his life just pushed him over the edge. in ch 23, when fu left and Gabriel was sobbing at her side. he was sobbing because this scene pushed him to it. all that emotion, the intensity, SO GOOD

So those are my general thoughts 😆 If you don’t want to read my line by line (nearly) analysis then yall can keep scrolling 🤣

~~~~~~~~

Gabriel running two steps at a time down the stairs. ive already mentioned his desperation to stop her but BRUH!!! and when he gets between her and the door! i can just picture nathalie glaring at him in frustration while he basically spreads his arms across the door keeping her from leaving.

Then him trying to stop her for “her own safety” as he claims, pisses her off because she thinks he’s lying! and not just lying but lying about having an ounce of care for her! she’s convinced she’s a burden and that he would be better off without her. to hear him lie about caring for her well-being just seems like he is mocking her. a glance at what she wants but thinks can never achieve.

when she calls him cruel. i know she means it but man that hurts. even now she still loves him and still wants his love but she thinks he’s humiliating her and trapping her and just being awful. seeing someone you love in a “cruel” way like this, hurts.

“She got your personal number?” “Yes, somehow. I wonder who could have given it to her.”

sarcastic witty nathalie still shines strong in such an emotional scene like this and i love it.

‘Nathalie, it’s not what you think.” She laughs bitterly. “Of course it’s not. Look, sir, I couldn’t care less about the implied infidelity as we’re not together”

THE SIR WAS ITALICIZED (i think... i read it that way at least) and if i remember right in ch 20, gabriel made it a point for her to call him ‘Gabriel’ as he is the father of her child now. but she SPECIFICALLY calls him sir here. she’s just like ‘lets cut the facade, the fantasy, the bs dream, and remember how this relationship works. ur my boss and thats all this is ever going to be” which im sure stung gabriel a lot seeing how he doesnt want her to think of him as ‘sir’

THE DATES!!! ok it was like a super dumb idea by gabriel but “good intentions with horrible actions” is kind of his thing 🤣 its so sweet tho thinking he was doing that to try and protect her! i also liked in another chapter he admitted to himself he felt bad for leading some of the women on. he was really using them but he still had that empathy and i thought that was actually sweet. Gabriel might be an idiot but he can still be sweet 🤣 back to the point, can u IMAGINE nathalie’s reaction to seeing those pictures? gabriel JUST found out she’s pregnant with his kid and she feels horrible about it. he’s never moved on from emilie and she never thinks he will. she loves his devotion to emilie afterall. so seeing the pictures, not only was it hard to see him with other women but also hard to accept that he CAN move on and HAS moved on. not only has he not moved on with her but he didnt even take his unborn child into consideration. Not to mention, Victoire telling Nathalie to leave and spare gabriel of her burdens just confirmed everything she had been dreading, crying, and fearing for 5 months.

oo oo i loved how gabriel said “You’ve had to deal with her before.” something i love about gabenath is that they have so much chemistry. YEARS and YEARS of chemistry. and u can see that here. Gabriel points it out cuz nathalie really has been apart of his life long enough to know victoire’s a snake.

Super small but: ‘Nathalie winces. “She paid a visit to the house.”’

I can visualize that wince SO much. the pieces are coming together and she’s starting to feel awful about assuming the worst.

‘“Exactly. Adrien and I have been trying for weeks to get her off our backs. We thought — I thought that...’

I love that he was about to have adrien share the blame but was like NOPE! this is all on me. im dumb and my son is wise. 🤣

she asks if the dates weren’t real. again with the dates. pretty much the biggest issue here. the unspoken conversation happening between them, we the audience can hear so loudly. yes she asked that, and she’d never assume he would be loyal to her in that way but we KNOW she wants that. we know that she doesnt truly want him with another woman. Gabriel denying it but also wanting to yell OF COURSE NOT BC IM IN LOVE WITH YOU! its just such a cool thing.

They FINALLY break the tension and “somewhat” resolve the tension. i feel like gabriel had ONE sigh of relief and then Nathalie’s coughing got out of hand and the tensity instantly explodes again. he was already blaming himself for causing her to be upset and now she might die because of it. like AGH SO GOOD!

And that’s the end of my analysis for the section in ch 22 😂

[thomas-mvller]

Tag games x 283129

Hello everyone so uh lately i've started to be more active on my music sideblog which means i've been hearting stuff like crazy for the past couple of months aka all the things i've been tagged in has been buried under all that nonsense SO because i hate leaving things undone i thought on doing them all at once and tagging a bunch of people so they can get a little distraction by doing them (as in, not all of them but whichever they might want to do)

Again: you do not have to do all of them, not even one if you don't feel like doing so! there's a game for everyone so hey!

Tagging: @havertsz @foreverbayern @germanynts @sherlockisonfire @debushit @sadiiomane10 @miasanmuller @elishamanning @abcde-fc @bbjim @littletentaclemonster @tamtam-elizabeth @minimalloss @pearfight and whoever wants to do this! if you see it, consider yourself tagged >:))

Alright, here we go:

1) I was tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth and @/sadiiomane10 to post a capture of my lockscreen, homescreen and last song i listened to. Thank you both <3

I used to be very annoying when it came to changing my lock/homescreen so now i just don’t do that often anymore (previous to that my homescreen was a pic of lfc winning ucl OBVIOUSLY) also i haven’t really been listening to music lately but i did have a depeche mode phase like two weeks ago and this was the song i replayed the most so hey!

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2) “Get to know me” tag

Tagged by the always thoughtful @/tamtam-elizabeth , thank you and i’m sorry for taking so long ;-; <3

Name: Cloud

Birthday: sometime in november

Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Height: 5′4′’ or 1.65 (last time i checked..... which was like seven years ago)

Hobbies: lately it has been sewing facemasks 😂 that aside i like watching movies, random videos on yt, baking and crafting sometimes

Favorite colors: black, red and teal

Favorite Book: don’t think i have one :o

Last Song Listened to: barrel of a gun by depeche mode

Last Movie Watched: currently watching prince of egypt. if that doesn’t count then ben hur 😂

Inspiration or Muse: i really don’t know what to say here 😂

Dream Job: i still haven’t given up to my goal but at this point i just want a job that gives me stability and zero worries

Reason Behind my URL: Thomas Müller (German pronunciation: [ˈtoːmas ˈmʏlɐ]; born 13 September 1989) is a German professional footballer who plays for Bundesliga club Bayern Munich. A versatile player, Müller plays as a midfielde- okay no in all seriousness yess this url is bc of a football player 😂

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3) Ten songs playlist tag

Tagged by the joy that is @/foreverbayern and the always sweetest @/havertsz . thank youuuuu <3

Rules: We’re snooping through your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

Some months ago I made the mistake of transfering the songs i had in my old computer to my current laptop and there are some stuff that just........ should not be acknowledged so i can’t do shuffle HOWEVER i will choose ten random songs i’ve listened to/discovered this year (technically speaking is the same) so here it is:

art-i-ficial by x-ray spex

sunny afternoon by the kinks

desire lines by lush

paper cuts by incubus

pure love by hayley williams

spirit by bauhaus

no one knows by screaming trees

let’s love by suho

all we need is a dream by cheap trick

cosmonauts by fiona apple

bonus: you’re so close by peter murphy (god i adore this song)

I wouldn’t be surprised if these aren’t your cup of tea tbh 😂

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4) “Core aesthetic” tag

Tagged by @/havertsz - i’m sorry for the delay ;-; and thank you <3

rules: search your name + "core aesthetic" on pinterest, get a moodboard & select a few photos that come up

i can’t really use pinterest so i googled it instead, as you might’ve guessed this is what i got 😂

ps: i’ve been informed not to use pinterest so if you wish follow this post’s indications

ah this is so pretty, i loved doing this!

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5) 

Tagged by @/germanynts @/havertsz and @/elishamanning to do this tag, thank you all <3

rules: describe yourself with pictures you already have saved. no downloading or searching for new ones. then tag 10 people.

if you want further explanations for each pic... ask ahead 😂

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6) “bold what applies” tag

Tagged by the always enJoyable @/foreverbayern, thank yoooou <3

rules: bold what applies to you and tag a bunch of people

- Appearance

I am over 5’5 // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (had three...) // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look  // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball caps backwards

- Hobbies and interests

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with my friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationships

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush  // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have hooked up with my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

- Aesthetic

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep (i did that for a long time and i sicnerely don’t recommend it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire (quick story time: one time when i was 12 my friends and i sneaked into our seniors’ school anniversary activities and they lit this huge bonfire near the football field, it was nuts) // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean (spoopy shit) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season

- Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote(s) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

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my god this is getting embarassing i had stuff long due ;-;

7) 

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth. think you for thanking on me when doing tag games, i mean it :-: <3

How old are you?: 24

Surgeries?: one

Tattoos?: none yet ://

Ever hit a deer?: i have never seen one so... no 😂

Sang karaoke?: yeah... years ago 😂

Ice skated?: nope

Ridden a motorcycle?: had the chance but nope

Ridden in an ambulance?: nope

Skipped school?: a handful of times

Stayed in a hospital?: for a few hours

Broken bones?: nope

Last phone call?: i haven’t called anyone in ages 😂

Last text from?: my mom

Pepsi or coke?: coke but i don’t mind having pepsi

Favorite pie?: haven’t had one

Favorite pizza?: chorizo + corn + red pepper

Favorite season?: autumn

Received a ticket?: don’t even know how to drive

Favorite color?: black, red and teal

Sunset or sunrise?: both!

Favorite Christmas song?: don’t think i have one, maybe universe by exo?

Cupcakes or cookies?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good q, cookies?

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8) “find your match” tag game

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth, you’re allowed to punch me in the face at this point

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

I got the Dreamer and my ideal partner would be The Innovator ?)

Seek out opportunities to collaborate with INNOVATOR types, who combine your lofty idealism with a focus on pragmatic solutions. The grounding energy of the INNOVATOR can inspire you to apply your imagination to real-world change.

that’s deep fam 😂 but okay!

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9) “get to know me tag”

Tagged by: @/littletentaclemonster . thank you and sorry for the delay ;-; <3

nickname: cloud zodiac: scorpio height: 5′4″ / 1.65 last movie I saw: can you believe i managed to watch another thing while making this? anyway it was The celluloid closet last thing I googled: block site extension favorite musician: as of right now? depeche mode song stuck in my head: you’re so close by peter murphy other blogs: @/brltpop and @/s-lay-ing amount of sleep: as long as i can get (usually 7 or 8) lucky numbers: don’t think i have one dream job: whatever gives me stability what am I wearing: pajamas  favorite food: chinese, mexican and italian language: which ones do i know? spanish and english somewhat. i want to learn japanese and german :c can I play an instrument: nope favorite song: atm is YOU’RE SO CLOSE (8) random fact: my nails usually grow sort of square except for my thumb and index fingers, they grow round for whatever reason describe yourself in aesthetic things: ?????????? idk man, messy room? loose clothes? football? cd’s on a shelf, posters on the walls ?????

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MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS????????? 

10)

Tagged by @/littletentaclemonster you too can punch me in the face

Rules: Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans • I play an organized sport  • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH: I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything (sort of) • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Water an aether huh, i don’t know what to do with this information 😂

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if you ask me i would very much appreciate it if you do the songs playlist tag bc i need recommendations thanks. Also massive apologies to the ones that were due since last year I had them in my drafts i swear!

Stay safe everyone :D

[pacifv]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.

[morethanonepage]

i’m angery

i know i’m mostly a star wars killjoy on tumblr dot com lately but allow me to SCREAM about my latest nemesis, a book called “American Dirt”:

Lydia Quixano Pérez lives in the Mexican city of Acapulco. She runs a bookstore. She has a son, Luca, the love of her life, and a wonderful husband who is a journalist. And while there are cracks beginning to show in Acapulco because of the drug cartels, her life is, by and large, fairly comfortable.

Even though she knows they’ll never sell, Lydia stocks some of her all-time favorite books in her store. And then one day a man enters the shop to browse and comes up to the register with a few books he would like to buy―two of them her favorites. Javier is erudite. He is charming. And, unbeknownst to Lydia, he is the jefe of the newest drug cartel that has gruesomely taken over the city. When Lydia’s husband’s tell-all profile of Javier is published, none of their lives will ever be the same.

Forced to flee, Lydia and eight-year-old Luca soon find themselves miles and worlds away from their comfortable middle-class existence. Instantly transformed into migrants, Lydia and Luca ride la bestia―trains that make their way north toward the United States, which is the only place Javier’s reach doesn’t extend. As they join the countless people trying to reach el norte, Lydia soon sees that everyone is running from something. But what exactly are they running to?

Written by one Jeanine Cummins, who has Puerto Rican ancestry but grew up in the MD suburbs (as I did, tbf) and in 2015 considered herself white (”I am white...in every practical way, my family is mostly white.”  [cw for sexual assault and murder at the link]), everything I read about this book has begun to drive me to madness.

Recommended by the Mary Sue book club (the source of the above summary), it has since been retracted bc a) its sucks and b) THEY DIDN’T READ IT BEFORE PUTTING IT ON THE BOOK CLUB LIST (”I try to read most, if not all, of the books I recommend for the Book Club because I truly do love reading, and I want to make sure that if I suggest someone grab something, it’s something I can say I liked. When I was looking up two books to fill out the list, one of them was American Dirt. I saw that it had received a lot of positive press from Stephen King, Rumaan Alam, Don Winslow, Sandra Cisneros, and other literary news outlets including Oprah’s Book Club. It seemed like the type of literary fiction that’s always good for a book club read. I was mistaken.“)

Myriam Gurba, at Tropics of Meta, describes being asked to review it for a feminist magazine, and then being told her review was too negative to publish. It included gems such as:

Cummins bombards with clichés from the get-go. Chapter One starts with assassins opening fire on a quinceañera, a fifteenth birthday party, a scene one can easily imagine President Donald Trump breathlessly conjuring at a Midwestern rally, and while Cummins’ executioners are certainly animated, their humanity remains shallow. By categorizing these characters as “the modern bogeymen of urban Mexico,” she flattens them. By invoking monsters with English names and European lineages, Cummins reveals the color of her intended audience: white. Mexicans don’t fear the bogeyman. We fear his very distant cousin, el cucuy.

[...]

With their family annihilated by narcotraffickers, mother and son embark on a refugees’ journey. They head north, or, as Cummins’ often writes, to “el norte,” and italicized Spanish words like carajo, mijo, and amigo litter the prose, yielding the same effect as store-bought taco seasoning.

[...] Lydia’s husband, a journalist, describes her as one of the “smartest” women he’s ever known. Nonetheless, she behaves in gallingly naïve and stupid ways. Despite being an intellectually engaged woman, and the wife of a reporter whose beat is narcotrafficking, Lydia experiences shock after shock when confronted with the realities of México, realities that would not shock a Mexican.

It shocks Lydia to learn that the mysterious and wealthy patron who frequents her bookstore flanked by “[thuggish]” bodyguards is the capo of the local drug cartel! It shocks Lydia to learn that some central Americans migrate to the United States by foot! It shocks Lydia to learn that men rape female migrants en route to the United States! It shocks Lydia to learn that Mexico City has an ice-skating rink! (This “surprise” gave me a good chuckle: I learned to ice skate in México.) That Lydia is so shocked by her own country’s day-to-day realities, realities that I’m intimate with as a Chicana living en el norte, gives the impression that Lydia might not be…a credible Mexican. In fact, she perceives her own country through the eyes of a pearl-clutching American tourist.

Parul Sehgal, at the NYT, digs into the fact that while the motives of this book may be unimpeachable (tho: are they??), the writing itself is...perhaps less so:

I found myself flinching as I read, not from the perils the characters face, but from the mauling the English language receives. Lydia’s expression “is one Luca has never seen before, and he fears it might be permanent. It’s as if seven fishermen have cast their hooks into her from different directions and they’re all pulling at once. One from the eyebrow, one from the lip, another at the nose, one from the cheek.” Yes, of course. That expression.

Sehgal also highlights my favorite line I’ve heard about in this book: “when Lydia finds she is unable to pray, ‘she believes it’s a divine kindness. Like a government furlough, God has deferred her nonessential agencies.’” The Raised in the DMV Suburbs just JUMPED OUT, didn’t it, Jeanine? But like legit, why on earth would a Mexican bookstore lady’s frame of reference ever be A GOVERNMENT FURLOUGH and NONESSENTIAL AGENCIES. followers, i just about died. 

David J. Schmidt, at The Blue Nib, calls out other inaccuracies and stereotypes:

It is worth dwelling on the character of Javier for a moment. A “drinking game” could be created based on all the Latin American stereotypes he personifies. Javier is dapper, yet dangerous. He is charming, yet mysterious. He wears a white guayabera, a shirt the author describes as “more suitable for Sunday Mass than a regular workday.” (Untrue—this is a casual garment, more suitable for a love affair in a Fabio-bedecked romance novel.)

This quintessential “Latin lover” shows up at Lydia’s bookstore and speaks to her in a tone significantly different from the other characters of American Dirt. I  must emphasise, Javier’s dialogue does not reflect the normal speech patterns of Mexico, but perfectly reflects U.S. stereotypes. The only way to properly read Javier’s lines is through the most gross of caricatures.

One should imagine the husky voice of Antonio Banderas, speaking at his most sensual and Spanishy. Any character he has played in English will do, although it is clear that Javier was ideally written for the voice of Puss in Boots. When Lydia asks if Javier reads English, the dapper narco responds:

“I try, yes […] My English isn’t fluent, but it’s close. And this story is so delicate.”

[...]

The cultural inaccuracies of American Dirt run deep, right down to the language. Throughout her book, Cummins shows confusion regarding the grammatical genders in Spanish. Most notably, she baptises the drug kingpin Javier with the nickname La Lechuza. It is difficult to imagine a macho, womanizing capo using a feminine-gendered noun as his moniker. Would a hardened mafia boss call himself “The Princess of Compton” or “The Belle of Belfast”?

Cummins got a seven figure advance for this. A SEVEN FIGURE ADVANCE. She “wished someone slightly browner than me would write it,” but she did it,  and her team is throwing around the fact that her husband’s previously undocumented status as some sort of justification without mentioning that he’s white & Irish. 

Also, there’s this news:

Imperative Entertainment, the production banner behind the Clint Eastwood hit The Mule, has acquired the rights to American Dirt, the Mexican migrant drama novel by Jeanine Cummins.

Charles Leavitt, the scribe who penned the Leonardo DiCaprio drama Blood Diamond, has been tapped to write the adaptation, which will be produced by Imperative’s Dan Friedkin and Bradley Thomas.

Charles Leavitt is a white guy who, most recently, wrote the Warcraft movie. So, that’s going to end well. 

I’ll leave you with this other gem from Gurba (from her essay about it, “Pendeja, You Ain’t Steinbeck “):

Susan Sontag wrote that “[a] sensibility (as distinct from an idea) is one of the hardest things to talk about” and with this challenge in mind, I assert that American Dirt fails to convey any Mexican sensibility. It aspires to be Día de los Muertos but it, instead, embodies Halloween. The proof rests in the novel’s painful humorlessness. Mexicans have over a hundred nicknames for death, most of them are playful because death is our favorite playmate, and Octavio Paz explained our unique relationship with la muerte when he wrote, “The Mexican…is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love.” Cummins’ failure to approach death with appropriate curiosity, and humility, is what makes American Dirt a perfect read for your local self-righteous gringa book club.

so idk, The Mary Sue, maybe it should stay on your Book Club list after all. (Oh wait: as of this writing, it still is.) 

[slowdeathbyetudes]

just kidding everyone im doing them all unprompted (except the ones that @if-it-isnt-cello gave me and i did already 🥰)

7. favorite instrument to play? & 8. fav to hear?

cello!

9. favorite instrument that you don’t play?

oof probably bass guitar lmao i wanna learn

10. least favorite instrument?

i hate to say it but basses frustrate me and it’s probably just because of my experiences with them in school

11. instruments you want to learn?

i wanna get better at viola, but instruments that ive never learned and i want to are def bass/acoustic guitar and saxophone

12. what stereotypes about your instrument do you fit?

chaotic for sure, competitive, a lil aggressive

13. piece associated with instrument and what do you think?

i immediately thought of the elgar cello concerto, and i adore it! but another would be the prelude to the first bach suite and that one aggravates me

14. if you had to switch instruments for the foreseeable future, which would you choose?

i actually played viola in orchestra for a few classes instead of cello last year, boy was that an experience (considering the entire viola section aka 3 of them are my best friends)

15. instantly become best at one instrument for a year but never be able to play it again, which would it be?

i couldn’t live without my cello so viola

16. how many clefs can you read?

bass, tenor, treble, alto

17. which is your favorite

anything but treble, but i guess bass bc that’s how i started

18. whos your favorite composer?

shostakovich, my manz

19. what’s your favorite musical era?

romantic

20. favorite musical form?

sonata

21. do you compose?

i arrange frequently, but if composition is necessary i’ll make it happen

22. do you plan to become a music major?

hell ya

23. would you rather teach music or perform?

dammit, if i had to choose i’d perform but i hope to do both

24. favorite key to play in?

e minor but only because brahms and elgar

25. fav major scale?

g major because it’s easy

26. fav minor scale?

a minor because it’s easy

27. favorite type of minor scale?

melodic because it’s cool

28. favorite mode?

lydian

29. like playing scales?

no

30. sharps or flats?

sharps

31. ideal # of sharps? (haha number looks like sharp)

1

32. ideal # of flats?

0 bye

33. preferred names for enharmonics?

f#/Gb, a#/Bb, c#/Db, d#/Eb, there’s more but i’m lazy

34. do you have perfect pitch?

no, but i have relative pitch

35. band or orch?

ORCHESTRA ALL THE WAY

36. marching band or concert band?

concert

37. ever played in a pit orch?

next year !!!

38. in jazz band?

nope (imagine my cello and i tho lmao)

47. something funny your director said?

mine is a walking meme, he constantly says weird things but a favorite is when he called geometry “shape math”

oh my god or when i told him that a parallelogram was an italicized rectangle and he was spooked for the rest of the day

why do we talk about shapes so often?

48. something helpful your director said?

this guy made me wanna be a cellist for real. when he told me that brahms was the reason he became a cellist, something clicked

49. ever taught a private lesson?

nope, kids scare me

50. if you could travel back in time and meet a younger version of yourself, what would you say?

you are not gonna be a doctor. listen to jacqueline du pre. do what makes you happy (it’s music). don’t worry about what your family would have to say, it’s much better to be happy doing what you love then doing something you’re miserable in for someone else. they are NOT going to be disappointed in you!!! also fix your bow hold and make friends with your section sooner

[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to 2017 college football TV watch ‘em ups: week 5

Schedules are getting a little better this week as we get into conference schedules and the Florida teams get back to normal.

I see some pretty strong matchups but the early kick games look kind of bad. Having USC/Washington State and Miami/Duke both playing Friday night in a TV doubleheader seems weird. Could have pushed the ACC game to Saturday morning and nobody would have been the wiser. I guess TV contracts don’t work that way, though, so here we are with this schedule. I feel the need to italicize that there are some strong matchups. It’s not a great week overall.

Times are, as per usual, Eastern and stolen from FBSchedules. All gambling advice is fully backed by RTARL’s “don’t ever ask us for shit” guarantee and comes with all requisite warnings that you are a dummy if you listen to me about anything ever.

Saturday, Sept. 30, 2017

Matchup                                               Time (ET)                         TV

Houston at Temple                              Noon                             ESPNU

I was caught completely off guard by Coach Ryan Gosling limiting Ed Oliver’s effectiveness last week but those things happen. When Khalil Mack was in college there were games where he was worked around by some truly awful teams and he was playing as an off the ball linebacker. Oliver should be back to normal this week.

Maryland at Minnesota                      Noon                                FS1

I can’t imagine looking forward to seeing this game.

New Mexico State at Arkansas         Noon                              SECN

This is a body count game for a middling SEC team and it’s still better than the B1G’s in-conference offering on FS1.

North Carolina at Georgia Tech        Noon                                ESPN2

Matchup of two very interesting coaches but also two not very interesting rosters. Could be a fun watch ‘em up but I won’t call it a “good” game.

Northwestern at (10) Wisconsin       Noon                                  ABC

Among the many things I can’t really explain about my college football fandom is a strong dislike of Northwestern football. Like I’m rooting for Jonathan Taylor to extract blood early and often in this game and I don’t really understand why.

Rice at Pittsburgh                               Noon                       RSN/ESPNCE

It just occurred to me right now that it’s really weird for Pitt to be insanely week in the defensive backfield. I know it’s only his second year there but isn’t Pat Narduzzi supposed to be sort of a scheme wizard on that side of the ball? Pitt has looked so bad so far that this game might not even be a gimme.

(18) USF at East Carolina                    Noon                                CBSSN

ECU isn’t very good this year. They never should have fired Ruffin McNeill. USF looks like they’re getting better every week so this could be a nice bloodbath.

Vanderbilt at (21) Florida                    Noon                                   ESPN

Florida could really lose to Vanderbilt in the Swamp and I wonder if even having two straight division titles is enough to save Jim McElwain if that happens.

Syracuse at NC State                          12:20 pm                     ACCN/ESPNCE

The ACC might be the best conference in the country top-to-bottom and they can still put up clunkers like this. Strength against whatever the strongest thing you can say about Syracuse is with NC State’s pass defense going against the Orangemen’s pass heavy offensive concepts. This should be pretty ugly.

Central Michigan at Boston College   1:00 pm                           ACCNExtra

Harold Landry reminds me of former BC star Mathias Kiawnuka for all of the good and the bad that might imply.

Baylor at Kansas State                        3:30 pm                              ESPN2

With Kansas State looking above average this year they should be able to beat Baylor by at least 30.

Buffalo at Kent State                           3:30 pm                               ESPN3

Florida State at Wake Forest              3:30 pm                        ABC

Undefeated Wake Forest at home against winless Florida State. This will never be true again unless they play each other in a season opener.

(7) Georgia at Tennessee                    3:30 pm                        CBS

If I understand anything about these two programs Tennessee is going to win this game on a Hail Mary after getting down by 30 points in the first half.

Indiana at (4) Penn State                      3:30 pm                        BTN

Saquon Barkley is gonna get like 8 carries, Penn State is going to pull away in the third quarter to win by maybe 20. This looks like torture to me.

Murray State at (17) Louisville             3:30 pm                          RSN

These stats shouldn’t count for Louisville unless they are bad.

Navy at Tulsa                                          3:30 pm                         ESPNU

Navy playing a game on an ESPN feed seems sort of wrong to me. Other than playing Notre Dame on NBC they pretty much only ever play on CBS/CBSSN. Zach Abey has been pretty good this year (not up to his hype level from before last season yet) but Navy’s defense is pretty bad. Every game is an adventure with these guys. Tulsa has been terrible this year but they can score a lot.

Ohio at UMass                                        3:30 pm                       11 Sports

This is one of the worst possible games this season and Ohio will somehow beat UMass on the road by more than Tennessee beat UMass at home.

UTEP at Army                                           3:30 pm                        CBSSN

Last year was supposed to be a step forward for Army’s program but they’ve kind of sucked so far in 2017. This is not an attractive matchup even for a gutter palate like mine.

Arizona State at Stanford                       4:00 pm                       Pac-12N 

How does Stanford keep roping me in with one single player to watch year after year while putting together an offensive system that is dependent on making everybody fall asleep? Bryce Love should go off against ASU and Kalen Ballage should continue to do absolutely nothing against Stanford so pretty much expect both of these teams to look exactly how they have looked for the past four weeks. Stanford will win in a rout, 27-16.

Eastern Michigan at Kentucky              4:00 pm                         SECN

Kentucky lost to an inferior opponent last week so we’ll see how they bounce back against a relatively tough Eastern Michigan team

Iowa at Michigan State                           4:00 pm                           FOX

Iowa missed a huge opportunity last week at home against Penn State so they might be in a bad mental space against Sparty. That’s Michigan State’s best bet because they look just as bad in 2017 as they did in 2016.

Texas State at Wyoming                         4:00 pm                          Stadium

The Josh Allen “I’m not actually good enough to play in the NFL” tour continues with a visit from Scott Bakula and the Armadillos.

UConn at SMU                                         4:00 pm                           ESPNews

UConn football is consistent with two things: being bad and having good defensive backs. That’s all I can think of for a recommendation here. Courtland Sutton could have a tough week but SMU should win. UConn is legit one of the worst teams in the country right now.

Miami, OH at (22) Notre Dame                5:00 pm                            NBCSN

I’m sure there’s a way to look this up quickly but I’m not gonna be the one to do it - how many times has a team played Miami (OH) and Miami (FL) in the same season? Notre Dame is doing it this year. I hope they lose both but last year’s bad luck doesn’t seem to have carried over to this year.

Akron at Bowling Green                         6:00 pm                             ESPN3

Technically speaking this is a football game so enjoy it you fucking weirdos who watch bullshit MACtion.

(24) Mississippi State at (13) Auburn    6:00 pm                             ESPN

I still think of Malzahn as the better schemer between these two but I’m not 100% about that anymore. I think Auburn will probably roll the Bulldogs here.

Air Force at New Mexico                        7:00 pm                             CBSSN

I’m low key enjoying Air Force football this year. This is the kind of trash game that typifies my ideal of Degenerate Football.

Ball State at Western Michigan             7:00 pm                              ESPN3

How does the MAC manage to infect such a huge percentage of the TV schedule every week?

Charlotte at FIU                                       7:00 pm                      beIN SPORTS

For all of the great things he did for The U and UNC’s programs, Butch Davis isn’t really a quick turnaround guy. FIU is starting from the very bottom of the stack in Florida but I’m sure if he gets 4 years there, Davis will have them turned into an offbrand monster. Kind of like what UCF and USF have going right now.

Coastal Carolina at ULM                        7:00 pm                                ESPN3

Yeesh. Gotta respect this game for finding a place to hide. Nobody is going to watch this.

Marshall at Cincinnati                    ��       7:00 pm                                ESPN3

Another kind of awful matchup that’s nicely scheduled for minimum exposure.

Memphis at UCF                                     7:00 pm                                ESPN2

Without looking I would have sworn both of these teams were just barely inside the top 25 but now I am looking and neither one of them is there. Weird. This is a pretty great AAA matchup if you’re into that sort of thing. If you are not into that sort of thing you should be because this is the most interesting conference in the sport. Not the best, mind you, just the most entertaining.

Middle Tennessee at Florida Atlantic  7:00 pm                              Stadium

It seems well nigh impossible to me that Lane Kiffin goes unscathed in the current pay to play scandal even if the investigation never jumps from basketball to football.

North Texas at Southern Miss              7:00 pm                            CUSA.TV

How did so many bad games get scheduled for prime time on Saturday this week? You won’t have to do a lot of channel hopping.

South Alabama at Louisiana Tech         7:00 pm                             ESPN3

This is one of the better games on the schedule at this time and USA has actually sucked badly so far this year.

Troy at (25) LSU                                       7:00 pm                             ESPNU

Maybe Derrius Guice will do something to make this interesting but I wouldn’t count on it.

(11) Ohio State at Rutgers                     7:30 pm                               BTN

If Ohio State really tries for 80 this is worth watching but otherwise it’s just more detritus.

South Carolina at Texas A&M                7:30 pm                            SECN 

aTm has two potential first round talents in Christian Kirk (fading) and Trayveon Williams (only a sophomore) and a head coach who built his rep in the first place as a great offensive mind. Sakerlina has a supposed defensive wizard at head coach and a bunch of early round talent all over the roster. When you say it like that this seems like a fun game but nope. I’ve got no interest in it.

  (2) Clemson at (12) Virginia Tech          8:00 pm                             ABC

Now this looks like a real deal great game to me. Both teams have freshman QBs and I think VPISU’s Josh Jackson is actually the better of the two but he can be that and it still might not matter in this particular game. This is not an easy win for Clemson and should actually be a better game than Clemson’s last “big test.” The Hokies are much better on defense than Louisville and they might be able to get off a few deep burns on Clemson’s secondary.

(15) Oklahoma State at Texas Tech       8:00 pm                             FOX

If Clemson makes me a liar and just stomps over Virginia Tech then you can check in here for what is sure to be a 79-63 kind of a game with over 1,000 yards of combined passing.

(6) Washington at Oregon State            8:00 pm                         Pac-12N

Every week I get to Oregon State against whoever and just laugh to myself that this fucking guy left the head coaching job at Wisconsin to become the guy at Oregon State and every single week they look worse than they did the previous week. UDub should have this one sealed up before the start of the second quarter.

University of Mississippi, Oxford at (1) Alabama    9:00 pm          ESPN

On the one hand Shea Patterson is extremely talented and 27 points is a huge line for a conference game. On the other hand Mississippi got worn the fuck out by the Antifa Bears who don’t even have a real roster put together yet and Alabama could sleep walk to a 30 point lead here. It’s just a matter of how much Alabama wants to stomp them out. All of that recent history of upsets and close games is history, this is not going to be close.

Nevada at Fresno State                          10:00 pm                         ATTSNRM

Fuck yes, this is West Coast trash and I love it. Neither of these teams is particularly good (I mean like any good at all) so this might not be watchable but I sometimes get into this sort of thing.

California at Oregon                                10:30 pm                              FS1

It’s not time for either of them to have a national following yet but I like where both of these programs are headed. Cal having a decent defense overnight seems like a road map to an exploitable market inefficiency in college football.

Colorado at UCLA                                     10:30 pm                        ESPN2

Seeing them side by side like this makes me realize that Colorado already exploited that inefficiency that the Antifas are moving towards and started from even farther back in the pack. I just thought of this comp for Josh Rosen and now I’m buying into it: Russell Wilson. He’s obviously much taller than Wilson but the pluses and minuses to their games overlap a lot. Rosen won’t have a 5th year in a new uniform to broaden the scope of his game so he’s probably looking at one year or more as a redshirt in the NFL to put things together but I think I’m onto something here.

NIU at (19) San Diego State                     10:30 pm                        CBSSN

I ran out of space and felt like I already had enough running backs on the RTARLsman list but Rashaad Penny is definitely still one of my guys. I’ll check in on this one if I can but it should be a pretty big win for SDSU. That came out weird, I love terrible late night blowouts but I don’t want to misrepresent what it is I actually want from this game.

San Jose State at UNLV                            10:30 pm                         ESPNU

I kind of wish it hadn’t occurred to me how odd it is for UNLV to be named Rebels because that’s all I think about for them now. This game is a pretty strong contender for worst teams to play each other in 2017, if you’re wondering about that side of things.

Colorado State at Hawaii                          11:59 pm        MWN/Spectrum PPV

This is a beautiful terrible game. I want so badly to watch but it could really lead to a divorce. I’m sure this holds true in some form for almost everybody reading this. If anybody reads this part. Mountain West Network can’t have a subscriber base larger than like 100,000 households can it?

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[meanderfall]

//puts chin in hands and stares at u adoringly, for the cute questions: 1 - 6 - 13 - 15 - 42 - 74 - 91 - 120 - 128 - 133 - 136 - 144 and 147!!!

ajflsdhfalkhf adri you spoil me rotten!!!! Thank you my love!!!

(this is going under a read more bc holy shit)

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I’m pretty sure it was when I met up with one of my friends after her class in summer school?? we just sat down together and like held hands while we talked. And I think that was the person bc tbh it is entirely likely i’ve held hands with my younger siblings between then and now (I guess i might not have a specific memory about it bc i havent seen my siblings in like 2 weeks ;;A;;)

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Honestly, I love passionate people, the people who adore things and others with everything they have, and people who are clever (which doesnt mean being good at school), and those who are a little bit snarky and a lot silly (well silly at the right moments i guess, there’s a time and place for everything!!! //whispers professor oak taught me that). People who take themselves too seriously aren’t for me.(Also, on a more “oh that’s really hot!” level, competency?? at anything, just having something you are really good at, and just how focused they are and absorbed in what they’re doing, and the concentration, all those things are so attractive omg) 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

YES

AND IT’S SO UPSETTING BC IT NEVER HAPPENS, NOBODY EVER PLAYS WITH MY HAIR OR SCRATCHES MY HEAD OR ANYTHING WHERE IS MY PHYSICAL AFFECTION I NEED IT SOMEONE COME OVER HERE AND CUDDLE ME

15. What good thing happened this summer?

oh god, i have the emotional memory of a gnat. This summer… was pretty terrible tbh, but a good thing that happened was the time I spent with you?? like overwatch (and I finally started to enjoy playing it!!!) or when we watched rvb together (and drace!) and then the next day when we spent like six hours listening to music, that was fantastic! Besides that, I’m happy I’m getting closer with @anthcny-stark and @theaussiedragon too, and like! those two days I spent with my older brother and we just hung out and watched stuff together and my younger siblings! We binge-watched things together and had a blast!!!! so i guess a lot of good things have happened this summer, it’s just hard to remember when life in general is awful.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Depends! And it’s hard to tell because I’m a pretty quiet person in general. Pretty sure most of my family would assume that I’m snarking in my head, but I would say most of the time when I’m quiet, I’m just spacing out, just staring into the distance with my mind blank. Other times I could just be exhausted or have a headache. Though, if I’m with a group of friends that you know I’m usually comfortable and loud with and I’m not saying anything, I’m likely going through some kind of depressive spiral where I feel like nobody would actually miss me if I was gone and even if they did, I could be easily replaced and basically I’m not really important to anybody, and I could disappear and they wouldn’t really care.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Two. The stuffed fox and a unicorn that has not left the box I put it in when we moved. (I had???? a shitton of stuffies but I gave them away when we moved bc I had never mastered the art of sleeping with stuffies so they were mostly a nuisance when they were in bed with me, and like I get stupidly and easily attached to anything so of course I loved them to death, but really my comfort object has always been my blankie, who is now ridiculously tiny for my size and I basically ball up and cuddle with when I sleep if I need that comfort.)

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

No. I think I would only feel that way if I was angry and I’m not angry about anything atm so no.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

I used to be! Had a nightlight and everything. Now the only thing about the dark I’m scared of is the possibility of walking into something. I actually really like the dark (well as long as it’s in an environment I know lmao dont knock me out and put me in a pitch dark basement in the middle of nowhere)

128. Would you change your name?

If I could find a name I liked and felt a connection to, ye! My name is just… cumbersome and unwieldy to the tongue and it’s… pretty hideous tbh. I don’t know how to put it, ever since I was a kid, I always felt like my name was unique but not in the good way. It stuck out like sore thumb, and was stupidly long, and like, I would look at it and recognize as mine, like felt a connection to it? but it wasn’t a fun connection. It’s like those moments when you look at yourself in the mirror and it’s like you’re realizing that that’s what you look like to other people, that is your physical form, and there’s a weird disconnect between the two, and it’s fucking weird.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

adri you hate me dont you, do you have any idea how hard this question is!!!!! how am i supposed to choose??? (the answer: I’m not. I’m choosing all of them. All of my favourite lyrics right now. I hope you’re happy adri)

“Oh everything’s a messAnd all these sorrows I have seenThey lead me to believeThat everything’s a mess” Dream by Imagine Dragons

“Happiness, feels a lot like sorrowLet it be, you can’t make it come or goBut you are gone - not for good but for nowAnd gone for now, feels a lot like gone for good” Happiness by The Fray (the part that really hits me is italicized)

“Make my messes matter.Make this chaos count.Let every little fracture in meShatter out loud.” Jupiter by Sleeping At Last

“Stitch by stitch I tear apart.If brokenness is a form of art,I must be a poster child prodigy.Thread by thread I come apart.If brokenness is a work of art,Surely this must be my masterpiece.I’m only honest when it rains.If I time it right, the thunder breaksWhen I open my mouth.I want to tell you but I don’t know how.” Neptune by Sleeping At Last

I can’t pick a favourite so, all of Saturn by Sleeping At Last. All of it.

“Much too tired to try,Much too stubborn to quit” Hit or Miss by Sleeping At Last.

“maybe distance is the only cure?Far away from hurt is where healing occurs.But all you really want to do is make them proud,Don’t you? don’t you?It must be so hard, in the mess you’re always cleaning up,To believe in the ghost of unbroken love.But I promise you,The truth is that you’re loved. so loved.” Silhouettes by Sleeping At Last

“Cry heart, cry yourself to sleep, cry a storm of tears if it helps you breatheIt helps you, if it helps you breathe” Homesick by Sleeping At Last

“Show meHow to struggle gracefullyLet the scaffolding inside of me be strong enough to hold this tired body upOnce more […]

So I will try, try, try to breathe‘til it turns to muscle memoryI’m only steady on my kneesBut one day I’ll stand on my own two feet

And I’ll run the riskOf being intimate with brokenness […]” Son by Sleeping At Last

“They say don’t let them inClose your eyes and clear your thoughts againBut when I’m all alone, they show up on their own […]They say “Just push them down, just fight them harderWhy would you give up on it so soon?” […]

Life is pain, life’s not fairSo angels please, please stay hereTake the pain, take the fear” Inner Demons by Julia Brennan

“Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever didLooking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kidAnd I’m still standing after all this timePicking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind” I’m still Standing (the cover by Taron Egerton)

“I feel fine enough, I guessConsidering everything’s a mess.” Pinch Me by the Barenaked Ladies

“I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desertBut I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime“ In a Big Country by Big Country

(yes i know about 90% of these is SaL, but they have some of the best lyrics ever???) (also true story, the moment i read the question, i forgot every song i ever listened to lmao)

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Unless it’s a hot and/or humid night and I need the airflow, the door is closed. Leaving it open makes me feel vulnerable?? (and that’s true throughout the day as well, if my door is open it’s bc I’m feeling open and wouldn’t mind people coming in to talk to me). Not to mention I usually sleep naked.

Fun fact! In the old house, I would sleep with the door open (mainly in case my cat wanted to come sleep in bed with me), but what ended up happening, bc I’m a paranoid and suspicious fuck, I would immediately awaken whenever someone would go to the bathroom (bc there was only one bathroom (for seven people!) and it was right across the hall from my room), and I would look to see who it was (which often resulted in awkward eye contact) before rolling over and going back to sleep. According to one sibling, the fact that I was always awake when they went was “really fucking creepy”. (I DIDNT DO IT ON PURPOSE THOUGH!!!!! I WOULD HEAR FOOTSTEPS AND AWAKEN, NOT MY FAULT!!! the worst part is that I can sleep through anything else. Cat sleeping on my face? no problem. Thunderstorm? Can’t hear a thing. My cats duking it out with an owl, which apparently woke up the entire house? sleeping like a baby.)

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Sorry, I read the question and started drooling. Um, definitely have to go with milk chocolate. (White is a close second! Dark chocolate is too bitter for my tastes.)

147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars. (I do not like peanuts in my dessert. Or nuts in general.)