#“like a piece of me was missing my whole life and i wasnt sure why” im p sure is what one of em said

[clowningaroundmars]

i keep thinking about how in 1610 miles was p much haunted and followed by the number 42 (thanks to that one tumblr post, yknow the one) after his spider bite.

the bus seating capacity, the numbers that fell off into the streets after miles crashed into them, all those tiny lil details that followed him throughout his journey to becoming Spiderman

and i also wonder if miles42 was also haunted by numbers like 1610. maybe his neighbor down the block's address is 1610. maybe the dorm room capacity at visions is 161. maybe he always gets up at 6:10 am to get ready for the day....

anyways

*breaks down crying*

[quodekash]

im not even gonna introduce this post. you know why we're here by now. if you dont, you'll find out pretty fast

GIUEJBRSGNOVUIERLJKNGOIV3REKHNGDSIPOBVKN

IT JUST LOOKS SO SAFE AND COMFORTING AND LOVELY AND HAPPY AND PERFECT LIKE TWO PIECES OF A PUZZLE SLOTTED NEATLY NEXT TO EACH OTHER TWO PARTS OF A WHOLE

praise kink go brrrr

HE IS THE DEFINITION OF CHEESE AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

AAAAAAAAAAA GUYNAWAGUYNAVAGUYNAVAGUYNAWA G9ERUOGHSD

can they. can they kiss this episode? is that allowed? is that like, in the rules?

in that case, I also watch too many movies, and its wonderful, movies are great, bls are great, you guys are great, you guys are in love, NOW KISS

IM INTERNALLY SCREAMING BC ITS 1:15 AM BUT IF IT WASNT THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT I WOULD BE RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE SHOUTING THE WHOLE WAY

im sorry. what the hell was that.

my dude, your mouth just did a very strange thing.

my dude, you want to kiss him.

my dude, SLAM YOUR FACE AGAINST HIS AND MAKE OUT ALREADY, PLEASE THE SEXUAL TENSION IS GETTING EXHAUSTING TO WATCH FOR EVERYONE ON THE FIELD

oh ouch

oh frick

why does this feel like foreshadowing

please dont let this be foreshadowing I dont want saifah to die and im sure sailom doesnt want him to either

CAN WE PLEASE FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THEIR FAMILY AND THEIR BACKSTORY AND WHAT HAPPENED AND STUFF, IM SO INTRIGUED, SOMEONE GIVE ME ANSWERS

NOOOOO DONT MAKE ME CRY

HE HASNT HAD A PARENTAL FIGURE IN HIS LIFE FOR SO LONG AND HES DESPERATE FOR SOME KIND OF MATERNAL HUG AND SENSE OF PROTECTION AND SECURITY

8GO3I4EWHTGO4WILEHTG043IOWEHKTNGF9PVIW4OEN

...

so. so is it just gonna be an episode-ly thing for sailom to yell out 'TROOOOOOOOYYY'

cos its happened three episodes in a row now

HE DID IT

IM SO PROUD OF MY BOY

EWJKDSBG;BKNERV

U4EOGHJWOES

THEIR PURE JOY AND EXCITEMENT AND HAPPINESS AND ECSTASY AND PRIDE AND GHERBWKSDG

so he's gonna go in there, and they're just gonna make out, they're not actually gonna fight

and then they run towards each other on the count of three and suddenly instead of fist to hand contact, its lip to lip contact

OH

THATS NOT THE RESULT I WAS EXPECTING

THIS IS GREAT NEWS

once again, I have no idea what they're going for in the maxauto relationship, but if its platonic, if it's romantic, it doesnt matter what it is, I love their dynamic so so much

AWWWWIASHDFAHSGD

HE ADMITTED IT

now all hes missing is "but I DO feel like kissing you now"

WHAT THE HELL HE STEPPED CLOSER

W HA

I know hes just gonna say something like 'I want to eat food im starving' BUT LET ME IMAGINE

change two letters in "kick" and you know what you get?

"kiss"

so basically I was right

is he studying or is he just reading that for fun

oh look, we're down here now. I dont need to explain myself, you already know that I ran out of images, once again

[muttsona]

ive known for years that im probably aro, and within the last 6 months or so ive finally been like. ok yeah im definitely aro. like, you know, fully decided: yeah, thats me. but i see people posting about their partners and their crushes and i guess im jusy like. i wish that was me. only ever felt love for one person in my whole life, we dated for like 3 years & some old friends convinced me to break up with her like 8ish months ago. but i feel like anything close to romantic after that has really just been obsession, almost always an unhealthy one at that. i feel like im missing out on a universal teenage experience and it fucking sucks. but im also lile sooo terrified of love, so i dont know why im even jealous of people for having it :( i have 2 qprs and like. one of them is really just more of a close friend to me, the other one is almost romantic for me. im glad we both dont want to actually date, because i sooo cant do that after last time. but part of me is still upset because. idk. fomo or something ??? i feel like after my last relationship ended back in april i forgot how to love people like that. like ive spent yhe lasy couple of months trying to pick the pieces of my life back up. there hasnt been a point since i was like 12 that i wasnt in a relationship, so i think new im just trying to figure out how to Exist as a single person. i think thats why i so badly want another relationship, thats my normal. but idk. right now im just learning to love my friends more, and im trying to get my shit together. i like not having the inherent worries that come with a relationship, i like not having to feel like me and my partner are a sinking ship, its nice. but on the other hand, all my favorite media is full of romance, romance is everywhere i look. its im every show, every movie, every song, every book, every poem, everythinf i have ever loved. im not the same kid i was, desperate to be in a relationship, but its still something i want sometimes. im not sure if its something i should want.

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, John Egbert, Jade Harley

Act 6, page 6302-6323

DAVE: so weird being back here

DAVE: cant believe how long ago it feels since i lived in this place

DAVE: spent way too long wallowing in our own filth on that gnarly meteor thats for sure

DAVE: this doesnt even seem like my room anymore

DAVE: its like trespassing or something like im horning in on somebody elses life

DAVE: a life lived most sweetly though i will admit

DAVE: ahahaha the fuckin toilets still there

DAVE: i remember when jade put that there that is perhaps like my favorite memory

DAVE: wish jade wasnt crazy just makes me remember how much i miss not crazy jade

DAVE: or less crazy jade

DAVE: wait

DAVE: didnt karkat once say terezi ripped a troll toilet out of his house

DAVE: what is with girls and their universally constant tendency to rip out plumbing fixtures

DAVE: did i just accidentally crack another cosmic riddle or

DAVE: i gotta txt him and get confirmation on this asap

DAVE: actually nah

DAVE: i probably harangued the poor guy with enough of my bs the last few years

DAVE: ill just keep shufflin thru memory lane making wistful observations out loud

DAVE: you know it kinda chaps my bulge that people rip on me for talking to myself

DAVE: its like the most perfectly natural thing to do

DAVE: why are people so up tight about keepin a lid on their monologues what a bunch of stuffy pricks

DAVE: ive always found the sound of my own voice to be mysteriously soothing

DAVE: haha talk about an embarrassing sentence to say in earshot of an actual person

DAVE: well maybe not the mayor

DAVE: you can always tell the mayor anything <3

DAVE: hahaha this piece of shit is still here too

DAVE: didnt we use this thing like ONCE

DAVE: what a useless pile of trash in hindsight

DAVE: sometimes i think this game was designed by an idiot

DAVE: wasnt it called like

DAVE: the laserbeam intellivision or something

DAVE: id throw it in the lava but that would be a waste of melting

DAVE: oh yeah

DAVE: almost forgot about my ill beats from the past

DAVE: i wonder if theyre as ill as i remember

DAVE: ok i just pushed some buttons and verified they remain as ill as the day they were dropped

DAVE: ill have to send them to karkat he has always been an enthusiastic patron of my exceptional science

DAVE: i mean sure he says it sucks and maybe he even believes that on some pathetic sub intellectual plane of consciousness which gross philistines operate on their whole lives

DAVE: but whenever he gets a load of my hype

DAVE: i see him there

DAVE: tapping his foot ever so slightly

DAVE: i see him

DAVE: this poster...

DAVE: love this poster

DAVE: its like an old friend

DAVE: never even knew who these guys were or what their deal was

DAVE: never gave it much thought i guess

DAVE: doubt ill ever find out at this point

DAVE: oh well

DAVE: some things i guess were never meant to be figured out

DAVE: or benefit from any kind of elaboration

DAVE: not even years later

DAVE: just the way it is sometimes

DAVE: its like ive said before

DAVE: this poster is a hell of a mystery

DAVE: that i never even thought was a mystery

DAVE: and it would be pretty cool if somebody solved it

DAVE: but damn if thats ever gonna happen

DAVE: so thats a shame

DAVE: aw hell its my old dead things collection

DAVE: what a stupid blast from the past

DAVE: i seriously cannot remember if i was sincere with this shit

DAVE: i was probably trying to flex my underdeveloped irony muscles

DAVE: like the shrimpiest kid at the hipster gym

DAVE: why does my childhood room have to be such a predictable museum of embarrassments

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: some of these things are kind of cool actually

DAVE: like from a standpoint of objective reevaluation afforded by the sobering maturity that comes with being literally 100% grown up now

DAVE: dead things are actually pretty rad

DAVE: i feel like if i was legitmately into all this then more should have come of the interest

DAVE: like there could have been like

DAVE: entire CONVERSATIONS about it that never even took place

DAVE: hey rose youll never guess what im excited about and have loads of dialogue to spill over

DAVE: whats that dave

DAVE: ancient mollusks

DAVE: hmmmmmmmm said rose

DAVE: how many bananas do you think this paw clutched back when it was alive and attached to a monkey

DAVE: dave i really must say

DAVE: this conversation blows

DAVE: yeah sorry

DAVE: maybe i could have really developed this interest

DAVE: maybe i could have been something cool as a result

DAVE: like what even profession is this

DAVE: a dead shit ogler?

DAVE: no wait

DAVE: probably a paleontologist or something

DAVE: i could have been a paleontologist

DAVE: instead of what i became

DAVE: which was

DAVE: uh

DAVE: some pajama packing fuckface from the renaissance fair

DAVE: that would have been the dopeness!

DAVE: eurgh

DAVE: the ironic selfies

DAVE: oh god

DAVE: now this

DAVE: this is some irredeemably mortifying shit here

DAVE: what was i thinking

DAVE: i dont know man

DAVE: i just dont know

DAVE: this is what seasoned veterans call "bad irony"

DAVE: look at this guy

DAVE: what a fucking novice

DAVE: oh who am i kidding

DAVE: i cant stay mad at that face

DAVE: ok this one is pretty funny actually

DAVE: ...

DAVE: eheheh

DAVE: hehehehe

DAVE: haha!

DAVE: hahahahahaha!

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DAVE: WHY

DAVE: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: (gasp)

DAVE: WHY CANT

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: WHY CANT I STOP LAUGHING

DAVE: PFFFFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: YOU WIN!

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DAVE: YOU WIN YOUNG DAVE

DAVE: THESE SELFIES ARE COMEDY GOLD

DAVE: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

JOHN: hi dave!

JOHN: what's so funny?

DAVE: whoa

DAVE: john

JOHN: what were you looking at there...

JOHN: hey, are you crying?

DAVE: what

DAVE: no

JOHN: ...

DAVE: i mean i was just laughing too hard at something dumb

DAVE: you know how it is

JOHN: heh, yeah.

JOHN: can i see?

DAVE: no its nothing

DAVE: where the fuck have you been

DAVE: do you remember what happened since we got here

JOHN: yes.

DAVE: well

DAVE: are you gonna fill me in or keep floating there in the most uninformative way possible

JOHN: uh oh.

JOHN: dave, i have to go!

DAVE: what

DAVE: why

JOHN: i can't hang around in one place for too long.

JOHN: let's catch up later, ok?

DAVE: john wait

JOHN: see you buddy!

DAVE: no dont

DAVE: john no stop turning into wind you fickle idiot

DAVE: dont just leave right away that is such an insanely predictable move

DAVE: i said get back here you slippery motherfucker!!!

JADE: hello dave

DAVE: god dammit

JADE: he was just here wasnt he

DAVE: no

JADE: how do you even know who im talking about??

DAVE: look all i know is egbert most definitely didnt just appear out of nowhere and catch me weeplaughing at my selfies

JADE: dave i know he was just here

JADE: i can smell him

DAVE: i keep my apparment misted with his odor at all times

DAVE: essence d'egbert

JADE: degbear?

JADE: what...

DAVE: no like the french pronunciation

JADE: ah

DAVE: anyway im just a lot more comfortable when my whole place reeks of nerd musk

DAVE: so that explains that

JADE: you cant fool me dave

JADE: i will track him down sooner or later

JADE: in any case it doesnt matter

JADE: i came here to see you, not him

DAVE: you did

JADE: come with me

DAVE: where

JADE: out here

JADE: we have some work to do

DAVE: what work

JADE: youre going to need to upgrade your weapon

DAVE: what

DAVE: you mean the deringer

JADE: yes

DAVE: i thought it was like the best possible sword

DAVE: or at least the best possible broken sword

JADE: that may very well be the case

JADE: but it will be useless against lord english

JADE: wouldnt you prefer a weapon that is capable of inflicting damage against him?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: not really?

JADE: of course you would

JADE: this isnt even up for discussion

JADE: now give me the deringer

JADE: we have all been traveling for three long years. what better way to celebrate our reunion than with a little alchemy? :)

DAVE: lots of ways

DAVE: we could have a jade goes back to normal party

DAVE: starring normal jade

JADE: HAR HAR

JADE: gimme the sword

DAVE: ok here

DAVE: how do we make it so it can damage him

JADE: it needs a special ingredient

JADE: something which represents his only known weakness, but hasnt been properly weaponized

DAVE: and you know what that is

JADE: i do

DAVE: how

JADE: i get all my intelligence on such matters from the old lady

JADE: shes had centuries to hatch a plan to settle her score

JADE: over time shes uncovered many secrets about him

DAVE: i dont understand how this is working

DAVE: is she piping all these secrets into your brain

DAVE: along with the evil

JADE: that is not relevant!

DAVE: fair enough

DAVE: i guess technically almost nothing is relevant to the dude youre barking orders to

DAVE: literal barking because of dogginess

JADE: bark bark bark!!!

DAVE: yes exactly like that

DAVE: thank you for participating in the joke

DAVE: now what is this special ingredient and where do we get it

JADE: i already have it right here

DAVE: oh yeah?

JADE: in fact ive had it for about as long as i can remember

JADE: it was right under my doggy snout all along

JADE: remember this?

DAVE: no

JADE: dave are you lying to me?

DAVE: no!

DAVE: ive never seen that thing before

JADE: but i found it on your planet

JADE: it must have gotten here somehow

DAVE: i didnt take your lousy egg

JADE: its not an egg!

DAVE: yeah well these planets are crawling with brainless lizards maybe one of them thought it was an egg

DAVE: and then brought it here cause its warm here and tried to hatch it

JADE: you really have a one track mind when it comes to certain things

DAVE: what things

DAVE: what are you talking about

JADE: davesprite was like that too... i just figured it was because he was part bird

JADE: but no, here you are going on about bird things too just like him :p

DAVE: come on dont compare me to him

DAVE: just cause i think its an eggy looking thing dont mean i think like a damn bird

JADE: mm hmm

JADE: and just because i have these pointy ears doesnt mean i wouldnt kill for some snausages right now!

DAVE: .....................

DAVE: do you actually want snausages

JADE: .....................

JADE: maybe ._.

DAVE: ok well snausages notwithstanding this is bullshit

DAVE: tell me how that thing doesnt look like an egg to you

DAVE: how is that not so obviously SUCH an egg???

JADE: its a cueball dave!

DAVE: i see

DAVE: so if im following

DAVE: then what youre trying to tell me is

DAVE: lord english has some sort of severe egg allergy that we are hoping to exploit

JADE: sigh

JADE: i see its still impossible to have a serious conversation with you, whether you are a sassy bird or not

JADE: i thought regular dave might have matured a little over three years but i guess i was wrong

DAVE: can we just make the eggsword already

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: not the legendary piece of shit again

JADE: pardon?

DAVE: its the fuckin welsh sword again!

JADE: are you telling me you have seen this sword before dave

JADE: how is that possible?

DAVE: i dont know!

DAVE: because i have a shitty quest is how

JADE: .....

DAVE: didnt davesprite tell you anything

DAVE: i found this sword in a gold cave and broke it

DAVE: then davesprite took it to hephaestus who fixed it and upgraded it to the deringer

DAVE: and sent that to me and i broke it again

JADE: you sure seem to break swords a lot

DAVE: i know!!!

DAVE: that has always been my thing for some reason

DAVE: now i guess it turns out my ultimate sword is really just a repaired downgrade of my previously ultimate sword mixed with a cueball?

DAVE: we just cycled right back to caledfwelsh like a bunch of tools

DAVE: that is the most stupid convoluted ass backward way to get a sword out of a stone i can even imagine

DAVE: i feel like somebody somewhere is having a good laugh over this i sure hope like the juggalo equivalent of fuckin loki or whoever the fuck is having a top notch riddlewank at my expense

JADE: :|

DAVE: you know what really gets me is

DAVE: this shitty welsh sword presumably consisted of those ingredients all along which just makes me want to travel back in time to perform a mutually assisted suicide with myself

DAVE: me and other dave can take turns suffocating each other with our own DUMBASS capes

JADE: dave i admit this is a peculiar turn of events, but i think you are overreacting

DAVE: jade this is STUPID

DAVE: my quest is a STUPID PIECE OF GARBAGE QUEST for LAME SHITTY LOSER FUCKHEADS WHO SUCK BALLS WHILE CRAPPING THEIR PANTS

JADE: omg

JADE: youve really spent way too much time alone with karkat havent you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: i need help :(

[wittyworm]

i dont know . i needed to write this all down i dont give a shit if its in order or if it makes sense or not. im not putting it under a cut

munchausen by proxy is such a painful and slow and cruel process to watch and there's absolutely nothing you can do when its too late. you just grow up and wonder, why why is she getting worse every single time you see her? she cant possibly have this many problems. we never once knew what she actually had. we would just wish, like, please stop taking pieces from her she cant fight you, you spend her whole life taking pieces from her and stripping her down until she cant see, out of one eye, then you take the next. cant walk, can barely speak. heart barely beats on its own, and then in the very end you wont let her go. you let her suffer and rot for 6 months in the hospital, we cant go fucking see her, i keep asking when can i see her. covid prevents more than 2 guests, the guests are her parents, who are. ultimately keeping her there. and we wait. we wait and wait and wait. she fights. because shes always been strong, shes always wanted a bigger life for herself. dreamed bigger than anyone ive ever met. theyd always say she had the mind of a child but if you had a conversation with her for more than 5 fucking minutes you know thats not true. what else could she do though, other than find happiness and comfort in small things like dolls and toys. shes surely the reason i as an adult , love things like that, because my big cousin who ive known my entire fucking life loved them, she treated each of them like the real babies shed always wanted to have, gave them names gave them stories that shed tell me.

shed scare us sometimes. she showed us horror movies when we were way too young, shed pull out her glass eye and yell "BOO!" at you

"WANNA SEE IT AGAIN WANNA SEE IT AGAIN" we always told her "NO!!!" but it was funny . that was Emmy

To say she loved David Hasselhoff. Is the biggest understatement of the century. dont get me started. she was obsessed. she was married to him in her head and would often get defensive if she thought we were trying to steal her man David 😤

it was odd but it was Emmy. we watched the original spongebob movie too many times to count, we knew every word. Baywatch, Nightrider, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, She always played his albums. swear to god she loved the guy so much i forget he isnt actually family. she had a massive 'sexy' print out of him on her wall 🤦‍♂️ god it was so funny we loved that thing. i could go on and on

she loved big gaudy rings and jewelry. the flashier the better. miss classic hollywood. we'd always look for them for her ,see something that looked cartoonishly grand and think "thats so emmy" wed get them if we could.

she had soo many collections. games, pogs, jewelry, david, babydolls, vhs tapes upon vhs tapes. a favorite pastime of mine was going through and organizing all of them for her . all of the David ones in their own special sections of course.

she was the funniest person youd ever meet. life of the party. always singing loud, making funny faces and sounds. telling hilarious stories. some made up some real.

she wanted to be a mom, she wanted to be a wife. but those things were impossible for her to achieve.

...

we saw her less and less as we got older.. i hate to think how sad it made her seeing us all grow up away from her. but she was always so happy to see us , tell us "you look so beautiful you look so big!" she was so so genuine about it she always made you feel good.

even when, she couldnt actually see you anymore

i want to jot down so many memories , theres so much more, i cant think super clearly right now.

she passed away 2 days ago

or maybe it was a day

i dont remember

heart failure/ brain failure

our other cousin/ uncle/ her brother also passed away less than a month ago. that was a shock. they told her... for some reason, she wasnt able to respond, though. im sure that still hurt..

she is a bright light that went out . in this stupid fucking world. it sucks

but i want to like . hopefully live life in a way she would have wanted . something shed be proud of i guess .

im glad they finally let her stop suffering. im glas shes not suffering anymore . shes free. she was 46 years old

Esmeralda Burgos, my light, my laughter, my cousin. you will be greatly missed for all of time to come. you absolute legend

Say hi to Manny, Nana, and Josie for me, and shine over us all

I love you

[duckugou]

golden

Kenma x GN!reader

Im trying to stray away from my comfort zone of just writing readers that use she/her so bear with me

sorry if this lowkey sucks but it was inspired by harry styles song golden

cw: big cursing, huge fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, comfort, aged up!

come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in!

Requests are open!!

-------------------------------------

Being a streamer comes with perks. Being comfy at home, not having to face people in real life every day, playing games, typical shit. Another perk is making good friends.

Meeting people on a voice chat is common for Kenma -guys and gals alike. What he wasnt expecting one night was the sweetest voice on the other end of his headphones.

"You're all fucks- I'm better at this game than all of you combined. Try me."

To think that was the sentence that made Kenma's ears perk up and burn.

"What the hell ever- we have the great Kodzuken on our side." One of the guys said, half joking half dead serious.

"Oh yeah, he isn't even speaking up to defend your pussy asses- probably knows I could beat him too." You could hear the smirk in that last part.

"U-uh, no. You can't beat me. Nobody can actually. Not at this game." Kenma rebutted , confident in his gaming skills but not so much his speaking skills to this stranger.

"Oh man, you certainly sound confident. Come on, Kodzuken- 1v1 me then. Show me who the best really is."

Kenma suddenly felt nervous. Should he really demolish this stranger? Isn't it polite to let the person you like win? He didn't like this person yet but god their voice was attractive.

"Fine. Send the request." He decided.

"Sent, fucker."

The game resulted in a tie because this stranger actually knew what they were doing. They both threw friendly insults at each other the whole time of course, making each of them laugh a little.

"Okay fine. The great Kodzuken himself almost beat me. Im almost honored to have a great streamer almost beat me."

"Well you almost beat me too- uh-" Kenma stuttered over the fact that he didn't know how to address this stranger.

"Oh! Call me Y/n." The person giggled.

"You can uh, call me Kenma."

"Oh you don't want me to repeat your title over and over like everyone else?" They laughed.

"No, friends don't call me that. They use my name name." His ears were burning.

"Friends, huh? Guess that means you owe me your number so we can schedule a rematch where I can properly beat your ass."

"Huh, guess so."

A few months had gone by and Y/n and Kenma were as close as they could be. They found out they live close by each other and began hanging out a lot.

Y/n would be in the back of his streams on occasion and wouldn't hesitate to speak up during them. Thats the thing about Y/n. They've always been so outspoken. Since the start. Everything they talk about comes so easy to Y/n. Nothing is held back. Kenma knows everything about them. He on the other hand is still a bit closed off. Quiet. The two are so opposite yet so alike. Kenma doesn't speak much about himself, opting to listen.

Especially when talking about past relationships.

One night, they were sat in Kenmas room in separate chairs, letting conversations flow.

"So, you've dated but why have the relationships ended?" Y/n asked.

"Ah, I dont know- its not important. Why did yours end?" Kenma flipped the question as he always does.

"One guy cheated," Y/n tossed a piece of popcorn in the air, missing their mouth and brushing it off. "One girl left because she was leaving for school, and one guy just didn't mesh with me. Your turn." Y/n pushed the question back.

"Uh- well. I don't click with people easily. I'm pretty closed off so when I date it usually ends in hurt feelings by accident or they get sick of me." Kenma finally admitted.

"Huh." Y/n flopped onto their stomach on the bed after setting down the popcorn. "Don't you like anyone though? Like- if you liked someone enough, do you think you would give opening up a shot?"

"I mean I guess. Nobody ever takes the time to...pry me open." That got a laugh out of Y/n. Good. "But yeah I do like someone."

Sitting up suddenly, Y/n became visibly excited.

"TELL ME WHO."

"No god no- it isnt important." Kenmas ears burned again.

"Come onnnnn. Its gotta be someone big time cool to earn your heart. I have to approve."

Y/n pulled Kenma from his chair to the bed, not letting go of his hand as he sat down.

"Theyre very cool- and very sweet. Understanding. Someone who stands up for me and makes me comfortable-" Kenma began gushing.

"Do I know them?" Y/n interrupted.

"Y-yeah. You sure do." Kenma scratched the back of his neck.

"Oooh ok, a guessing game. Describe them more- their looks!" Y/n held his hand tighter, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Well- ok." Kenma took a deep breath and decided he could be vague enough. "Theyre short. As short if not shorter than me. Competitive. Very cute smile-"

"TOO VAGUE give me the JUICY DETAILS" Y/n pushed.

"They uh- they have..pretty eyes." He was staring at this point, eyes wandering around Y/ns face to find more things to describe. "cute nose too I guess. Squishy cheeks. Glasse-"

"WHO THE HELL IS IT KENMA- its starting to sound like youre describing me." Y/n laughed.

"No- I'm totally not!" Kenma rushed.

"Tell this person you like them. You look so happy when you talk about them. Its kind of sickening."

"I can't just do that." Kenma stated flatly.

"Yeah you can."

"No-"

"DO ITTTT. Nothing to be scared of- it's CUTE. They would be dumb to not like you."

Kenma sighed, knowing he couldn't tell Y/n the truth about who he liked. What does he usually do when he's put in a corner like this? Oh thats right-

"Who do you like then Y/n?" He asked, proud of himself for deflecting again.

"Oh thats easy. You." Y/n said, letting go of his hand and laying back on the bed, leaving Kenma sitting up and stunned.

"What? No I mean a crush idiot. Who do you liiikkkeee?" Kenma pushed, hoping he didn't hear Y/n wrong.

"You, Kenma. I've had a crush since our first tie in a game. Thought that was obvious-"

Kenma flopped back on the bed as well. The both of them looking at each other.

"Oh. My person is uh... really... open and honest." Kenma said quietly.

"Is that why you wont tell them?" Y/n asked just as hushed.

"Yeah... what if right now they say yes but then their feelings change one day? That would hurt so bad. Worse than not telling them ever." He whispered.

There was silence. They knew what they both just admitted. Kenmas heart started racing. This might've fucked everything up. He might lose them. But they like him too so why is he so scared?

Y/n held his hand again.

"I know that youre scared because I'm so open...but hey... If you wanna give it a try..." Y/n whispered, scared about whether or not their honesty fucked them over.

"You might be right this time Y/n." Kenma whispered.

The space between them was closed due to both of them being drawn together like magnets in that moment. A sweet kiss.

"Let's try it then. I'll work on... being more open if you'd like." Kenma said.

"Kenma. I dont want you to change one bit. I like you the way you are."

Acceptance. It was the best thing Kenma has ever felt.

[secretbangtnn]

summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”

[g-on-ef]

Blitz decides to take up Strikers offer because frankly, he’s confused. For the first time, someone has gave him respect, and treated him like an equal. Is this what life could be like for him? He can feel the chemistry between himself and Striker, it’s different than the transactional fucks with Stolas.

He leaves a note for M and M and Loona, explaining everything, that he’ll be gone for a while, because he has things he has to work out. Honestly, Blitz thinks they won’t even miss him.

Blitz leaves with Striker that night, with Strikers tail curled round Blitz’s hip.

A/N: saw an opportunity to turn this into a mini fic and I did ^^ characters might be slight oc

Blazing red eyes met emerald green ones.

It was so tempting to say yes to give in to Strikers words and join him and his crusade.

His words screaming in his head, drowning out every other thought and reason as to why he shouldn't agree to Strikers plan.

But why not? After all Striker was right Stolas saw him as a plaything and treated him like he was lower than the Prince.

Blitz would never admit it but Stolas's words cut him deep.

Reminding him how he's only an imp, always sexualizing him, talking down on him, making him feel like all he's good for is a good fuck.

Not to mention how that while he agree to be his bodyguard he realized what a fool he was, Stolas could have easily defended himself and his daughter and yet he invited him and his employees and all that it got them was Blitz being reminded of the awful time he spend there, Moxxie and Millie getting hurt and that cheap ass robo clown reminding him yet again how everyone feels about him.

But if agree to join him ... What would happen to Moxxie and Millie ??? His precious Loony ??? He doubts that Striker would let them join them, what will he do without them?

"Well Blitz?"

Blitz felt like he was drowning in his thoughts and Strikers voice was able to pull him out from the very depts of his mind.

"What's your answer?" His tail wrapped itself around Blitz's waist and pulled him closer to Strikers body.

Blitz placed his hands on Striker's chest, their eyes never leaving each other.

However Striker placed his hands down and backed away a little leaving enough room for Blitz to breath and not feel like he was being corner into giving the answer Striker wants to hear.

His tail however remain wrapped around his waist.

Blitz looked away as his hand began to pet Striker's tail the cowboy began to purr making Blitz smile a little, his smile however fell as he thought about the situation they are in.

"I...I don't know," there he said it, he wasn't sure if he should agree to this or not. While the idea was tempting he wasn't sure if he could do it, if he was the one to help Striker to fight along side with him. Sure they tied in the games but does that even mean anything? Is he qualify to stand beside Striker.

After all Blitz maybe a good assassin but he wasn't that good.

Than again his insecurities sure were screaming loudly today reminding him that he'll never be good enough.

He felt a gloved hand under his chin, lifting his head, making him look Striker in the eyes.

"What do you mean?" His voice was soft, not annoyed or angry nor demanding but soft as if he was going at Blitzs pace.

Blitz gulped. This was another thing about Striker that Blitz admire.

The patience he had with him.

Blitz wasn't a fool he knew he could be a bit to much but the short time he and Striker spent together Striker showed him he genuinely liked Blitz and his company.

Last night definitely proved how much Striker loved Blitzs company.

Shaking his thoughts from straying he focus on the question he asked.

"I can't abandon M&M or Loony they're my family,"

H expected him to say something rude about them, find some way to manipulate him into turning his back against his employees.

Striker looked at Blitz and could see how vulnerable he was being, how sacred he was of something awful happening to him after saying no. Not only that but he could see his insecurities clear as day.

They were slowly rising up from whatever cage Blitz had them locked in, could see how they were giving him doubts reminding him of all the lies that everyone has ever told him until they became his version of the truth.

He can't help but wonder exactly what Goiesha and others before that pompous asshole did to him to make him scared to say no. Or feel like he wasn't good enough. Striker vow to hunt them all and kill them.

Striker pulled Blitz closer to him wrapping his hands around Blitz he hugged the smaller imp.

He could feel Blitz body freezing and the contact and not knowing what to do.

Striker ignored that and instead kissed the top of his head.

"I hate being being a weak ass bitch but for you I'll be one Blitz, if you want a better life for them then getting rid of Goiesha and the rest of the overlords is our best bet, I may fuck around wit Moxxie but even I can see how much you care for him and Mildred. Not to mention how much you love your daughter. I won't force you to say yes but think about it okay?"

He tighten his arms around him.

"You have so much untapped potential, don't let fucktards like Goeshia make you think otherwise.

He pulled back from Blitz his tail gave him one last squeeze before uncoiling itself from his body he gave Blitz one last smile before giving him a piece of paper.

"my number if and when you're ready to join me,"

Striker left him alone before he was out of the room. Leaving Blitz alone with his thoughts.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Blitz packed his things away Striker was gone, neither Millie nor her parents knew where he went they were however mad he left them without a warning.

Blitz packed his things away, last night he barely got any sleep hell he was ready to just off himself so that he could sleep.

Last night all he could think about was Striker and how the other imp made him feel.

It wasn't just mutual respect it was the fact that he was attracted to the other imp their fuck before the games was the best fuck Blitz had.

Not only that but he trusted Striker enough to bottom and he rarely did that.

He remembers how Striker made him feel, challenged, appreciated, cared for, Striker was bringing so many feelings out of Blitz he never knew he had.

Not to mentioned that Striker made him question everything he knew.

Striker referring him as a plaything to Stolas cut deep, not because it was Strikers intentions but because how true they were.

Not to mention it didn't matter how far Blitz got he was still a lowly imp who only existed to obey orders from those higher than him.

Him giving into Stolas's demands proved that.

Sure he could use that he gets to keep the book and only has to visit him during the full moon but that didn't change the fact that he was basically Stolas's bitch.

Loo Loo Land and The Harvest Moon Festival were perfect examples of him doing whatever Stolas said just because he got paid or he was wear down until he gave in.

Striker ... Striker did the one thing no one has ever done for him ... he gave him a choice ... he asked him to join him; not once did he try to force Blitz to say yes or kept pushing till h gave in.

Even now he was giving him the choice to say yes or no.

He could've done so many things to force him to say yes instead he gave him space didn't push for more than what Blitz was willing to share nor did he manipulate the situation into his favor he just respect Blitz and left him be.

Blitz wonder if he should give into temptation, say yes and see how far he could go and the extent of his power.

Looking at Millie, Moxxie, and Loona ... he wonder how they would feel if he left.

He secretly wonders if they would even care that he's gone.

Loona didn't really care for him and Moxxie was only there because of Millie and we'll Millie loves killing so he wonders if she even cares about him or just loves that she gets to kill humans.

Fitzorallys words cut deep because it was a question he always tried to avoid asking himself because he knew deep down no one did.

He wasn't stupid, he knows he can be a bit much, overbearing and annoying so will they even miss him?

He takes a deep breath and shoves that question deep within his subconscious, just another query that he will avoid as much as he can.

"Sir are you okay?"

Blitz lifted his head and looked at his fam- employees

He could see them eyeing him carefully wondering what was wrong with their boss.

"Yeah Moxxie everything is fine,"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Three weeks later

Striker open the door before he could even knock.

The cowboy IMP wasnt wearing his hat which made him look sexier than with it on.

"You came,"

"Yeah ... I did ... I'm in,"

Striker nodded his head he grabbed Blitz's bag and jerk his head a movement that told him to follow him to wear Bombproof was.

Blitz followed him. After much deliberation Blitz decided to follow Striker. He couldn't give a good reason as to why he wanted to join him.

Perhaps it could be do to his words, or maybe because he genuinely like Striker and wanted to see how far their relationship could go there many reasons as to why he decided to join Striker but he did know one thing for sure

He knew that if he wanted to make it to the top he'll need to stop serving bitter sinners and partner up with Striker and kill the unkillable. Make them pay for all the shit they put him and IMPs and hellhounds through.

Striker was right if he wanted his employees to have a good life he'll need to change the system

He already left a note to M&M as well as Loona he told them that he would be gone for a few weeks as he had somethings to figure out.

He of course before meeting or contacting Striker, Blitz met up wit Stolas told him that he can have him for a whole day to do whatever Stolas wanted the only thing he asked was for him to give Millie, Moxxie, and Loona 2.5 million dollars each that way they'll at least have money and not worry about anything for the time being.

Worst day of his fucking life but it was worth it. Stolas of course wanted to know why Blitz demanded for such a thing.

Blitz just gave him the finger threw his book in his face and left.

Striker put his bags over Bombproof before his hands grabbed Blitz's waist and hoisted him up placed him on Bombfires back.

Striker got on his hellhorse with ease.

He felt Striker's lips on his forehead before Striker's tail wrapped itself around his waist pulling Blitz closer to him.

"You won't regret this,"

Blitz smiled at Striker before cupping his face leaning forward he kissed Striker the two shared a soft passionate kiss

The two pulled back giving each other soft smiles. Blitz curled up on Striker's chest letting out soft purrs as Striker ordered Bombfire to move.

Blitz for the first time in weeks slept peacefully while Striker brought the smaller imp closer to his body his tail tightening itself around his waist not once did it let go of his beloved.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Imma be honest with y'all ... It was not supposed to be this long ... Oh well tell me what you guys think ^^

[violetnotez]

Its Chirstmasssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!! I finished this up all last night, so I hope this is at least coherent! 

This is for the BNHA Hangout Christmas Collab! Here is a link to future masterpost for the fics for the event!

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Shoto x reader | one shot

Word Count: 1.5k+

Warnings: cussing

Synposis: When Shoto realizes you’ve been particularly lonely without him during the holiday season, he decided to get you an extra special gift

the music collection | buy me a ko-fi! | requests open for haikyuu+jujutsu kaisen

｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

“Shoto-do you really have to go?”

You asked, a pout on your lips as you gazed at your boyfriend.

You were still cuddled up in your shared bed, the heat from Shoto’s skin already dissipating out of the sheets.

You pursed your lips, sitting up crossed leg as You watched him slide each button of his shirt sleeve into their slots, his washed, bi colored hair slightly wet from his shower.

“You know it’s not fair to look that good and then just leave,” you gave him a fake, stern look, earning a small smirk from the man.

He continued working up the shirt, looking sleek yet-well-delicious.

Shoto was just too handsomr for his own good-sharp jawline, perfect skin, piercing bi colored eyes, not to mention his amazing body….sometimes you had to wonder how you were able to get such a flawless man to end up with you.

He finished with his other sleeve, peeking a look at you as he slicked his hair back with his right hand, the strands mixing and framing his face perfectly,

why’d he have to look that good?

“It’s not as if I want to leave, dear-but I do have work,”

You cuddled deeper into the sweatshirt you were wearing, your hands dissappearing in the sleeves.

“But you’re always working-you cant take one day off?”

Shoto chuckled at your obvious neediness, making his way over to where you were sitting. He leaned across the bed to be in front of your sulking form, brushing a piece of your bed head from your face as he laid a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Evil doesn’t take a day off love,”

“Why do you always have to be so-so stoic all the time,” You giggled, playfully placing your hand on his chest and pushing him back.

Even though you and Shoto had been living together for over a year now, it never ceased to amaze you how much the man worked. After working at an agency after UA, Shoto had been incredibly busy-and being the #3 hero, you could see why. If it wasn’t a late night call, he was patrolling, interviewing sidekicks, training, teaching students on their hero studies, interviewing with magazines….he always had something to do.

You couldn’t get mad at him though-he had warned you in the beginning, but you were also accustomed to the hero life as well- well, somewhat.

You had gone to UA to be part of the hero suit course, and had become suit designer for the top heroes (hence how you met Shoto). You witnessed day in and day out how difficult it truly was to be a hero, even if you weren’t one yourself, so you didn’t mind when Todoroki was gone all the time. Yes, it got lonely at times, especially during the holiday season, but you made sure to keep a smile on for him.

“Don’t forget, I did take Christmas off,” Shoto gave you a small grin, his bicolored eyed searching to please you.

You smiled back, your heart thumping out of your chest as you poked him gently in the chest.

“After I asked you too,” you corrected, a teasing tone in your voice.

-And thank god too, I would have so lonely by myself,” you tried to chuckle at your remark, making the situation light.

Shoto knew you too well though-something about your voice didnt sound as happy and light as before. When you joked with him, your laughs were more cheerful and your smile was brighter-but something about you right now felt strange...as if you were holding something back from him.

Shoto’s grin turned into concern, his digits cupping your cheeks gently and guiding your eyes to look at his.

“Have you been feeling lonely lately?” He asked bluntly, your eyes growing wide.

Man-you couldn't hide anything from him.

You chuckled nervously, looking to the side, guilt beginning to fill your chest.

“I-I, no, it’s fine, really, I was only kidding,” you chuckled, your voice taking on a higher pitch.

“You don’t seem to be kidding,” Shoto bite the side of his lip, trying his best to make eye contact with you, “if you want to tell me something, you don’t have to be afraid.”

“Be afraid of the number three hero-“ You rolled your eyes playfully, a soft smirk on your lips, “-never.”

Shoto gave a small grin, worry still in his eyes. He knew something was strange about you lately, the way you seemed to be always craving for him. He hated to admit it, it boosted his ego somewhat to have you were so desperate for his touch- but he knew it wasnt healthy for you to be always missing him.

With him being a pro hero, he had quite alot more duties than most could imagine- which sadly left little for him to indulge in his own personal life. Shoto felt deeply lucky to have someone like you who understood his busy schedule, never batting an eye when he had to cancel yet another date or leave you by yourself on countless nights...but it still left a gnawing sensation of guilt sitting in his stomach.

“Im fine Shoto,” your voice broke into his thoughts, your tone gentle and sweet like a sun kissed cloud, “really.”

Shoto sighed, his thick lashes fanning his cheek. You were stubborn at times, especially when you wanted to reassure him-which only affirmed that you really werent feeling all that great as you said you were. But Shoto didnt want to push it any further- maybe you were really okay, and he was overthinking it….and he was going to be late if he didnt leave soon-

“Go kick some ass for me, kay?”

you gave him a wide smile, placing another quick kiss on his lips.

Shoto blinked a few times, a rush of adrenaline filling his body as he felt your skin against his. His lips tingled from the agonizingly quick touch-he took it upon him to give you a deeply intense kiss, the rush making you breathless.

Shoto pulled away, his eyes having the rarest glint of mischief as he stared back into yours

“Of course love,”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

“Ya ready Shoto?” You grinned, your body snuggled into your comfiest pair of pajamas and your fingers warmed by a hot cup of cocoa.

Christmas Day has finally came, and thankfully, Shoto kept his promise-he would be staying the whole day with you with no interruptions.

You were just so excited to finally have one day to selfishly love your boyfriend, and on a holiday too!

The room almost felt surreal-it was early morning, the Christmas tree you two decorated light up like a Star, class Christmas music playing in the background, homemade cookies littering the apartment in a sweet aroma and the room in a romantic warm haze of lights.

It just felt so unbelievable perfect and comfortable, Shoto looking sheepishly excited and nervous.

“I think you should go first,” you smiled up at him as he sat down next to you, black coffee snuggled into his hand (in a DynaMIGHT mug, of course gifted to him by the hero himself).

Shoto bit his lip, seemingly trying to hide a smile as he set his mug down on the coffee table.

“Not to be rude love,” he grinned, his hands gently grabbing a large box from under the tree. The paper was a shiny golden hue, snowflakes on the paper reflecting like glitter from the lights on the tree. He slide the box against the wooden floor, being strangely gentle with the contents.

“But my gift cant wait.”

Your eyebrows were knitted together, a confused grin on your lips.

The box was pretty big-what did he get you now?

Shoto never seemed to give you endlessly expensive gifts, having no concept of what was considered fancy or exorbitant- trips to places you could only dream of, hefty amounts of clothes and jewelry, merchandise from your favorite shows...hell you had to talk him out of buying you a car one time-this guy would drop anything to get you whatever you wanted.

And that made you guilty as hell whenever he did-so what did he give you this time around?

Your mind was racing as you looked at the box, trying to read whatever he was thinking about on his face.

“I swear to god Shoto if you bought me that expensive gaming system-“

He chuckled at your obviously guilty face, shaking his head as he smiled.

“No, no it’s nothing like that-“ he said, giving you a mischievous grin, “I think you’ll like it much better than that.”

You blinked a few times, your mind going completely blank.

What could be better than a PS5, Xbox, or Switch?

You looked down at the box, feeling strangely nervous as you obeyed Shoto’s wishes, slowly opening the top lid….until it rustles.

The box.

Moved on its own.

You squeaked out in surprise, your hands slamming the barely opened lid back down and looking at Shoto for help.

He had never seen you look so adorably confused in his life, a rosy hue on his cheeks as he looked at you with a loving expression.

“It’s okay,” he whispered reassuringly as he wrapped his hands nervously around yours.

You felt him guide your hands up, you both now lifting the lid off the large box.

Shoto took it and placed it gently on the ground, sitting back to watch you look into the box.

The box rustled again, your mind so utterly confused….what could make a box do that?

“Shoto I-“ you tried to ask, but all he did was nod to the box, signaling for you to just look.

You did as you were told, getting on your knees to peer inside…

A gasp left your lips, your heart beating out of your chest as you looked inside at the sweet little baby kitten playing with their bowl of yarn in the box.

“Hi baby,” you cooed in awe at the little baby, your hands scooping them out and snuggling them to your chest.

They were so soft and warm, their fur as white as a snowball with rosy pink paws.

“Oh my god-Shoto-you really didn’t- are they really-?” You were in such a state of shock, you couldn’t seem to form any coherent words as you looked at your sheepish boyfriend.

“I-I didn’t know exactly what to get you...but after seeing how much you missed me throughout the day, I thought it was fitting to get you a companion for when I’m gone,” he smiled, his digits nervously fidgeting in his lap as he waited for your approval.

You petted the little creature on your chest, it’s big doe eyes staring at you with such confusion you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Shoto…it’s perfect,” you smiled at your boyfriend, leaning in to plant him a kiss on his lips.

You giggled at his expression, clearly not expecting your show of affection as his cheeks turned a fiery red.

“I-I’m glad to here that,”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

© Violetnote 2020

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

[bigassnocash]

Hopeless Romantics

HiHo friends! I mostly wrote this piece for @iaminlovetomhollandmarvel because she's like my one consistent reader. Once again, I'm still fairly new to writing so please be kind, and send in requests for any characters and actors/actresses you want and I'll write for you! I also used writing prompt 707 from @creativepromptsforwriting and its highlighted in bold, there is also a Sylvia Plath poem in here!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Y/N, what're ya doin?" Arvin asked as he walked up to you as you sat reading on the steps outside of the school.

"Not much, just sittin' here enjoyin the warm weather. What are you doin' Arvin?"

"Well you looked pretty lonely over here, so I was thinkin I could keep you company but I can go if you want."

"I don't mind, come sit down I promise I won't bite."

As he sat down next to you he linked his arm with yours to see how you'd react. When you didn't pull away he scooted closer to you, to the point of being able to see over your shoulder.

"Y/N L/N what on Gods green Earth are you reading?" he laughed at the content you were consuming.

"If you must know, nosey josey its a romance book," your cheeks started turning red with embarrassment as he laughed.

"I don't know much but I do know one thing; people do not talk like that on dates."

"I wouldn't know, I've never been out on a date before," you turned your head away feeling shame. 17 years old, and never been out on a date while some girls in your class were out here getting married.

Arvin felt bad, he did know that you didn't go out much but he figured that the most beautiful girl he's ever seen would've been asked out at some point.

"Thats about to change. C'mon Y/N get up, I'm taking you out on a proper date," he offered his hand to help pull you to your feet.

"Arvin are you insane, what would even do?"

"Anything you want. We could go to dinner, a movie, we could go to the library, I could get a picnic together really fast and go to the lake, we can go skinny dipping," he winked at you.

"Skinny dipping is a third date activity young man, I think you know this," you shot back at him matching his cheeky smile, "I wouldn't mind a picnic by the lake, I just need to stop by my house and tell my momma where I'm goin."

"Your carriage awaits m'lady," he help open the car door for you and helped you in.

"Before we do this I need to know, why are you doing this Arvin?" you asked him, very worried about getting hurt.

"Cause its Friday night and I'd rather spend it with the prettiest girl in school than at Church with Lenora."

An hour later after you dropped your stuff off at home and got a picnic and blanket you and Arvin were sitting by the lake looking out over the water.

"Y/N will you please read your book to me? 'ts just I've heard you read in English and I really like your voice. Please?" he was so kind and quiet that there was no way you could deny him of this.

"I won't read you my book but I'll read you a poem, how's that?" he nodded happy with the trade off. As you pulled your poem book out of the small bag you packed, he laid down in your lap looking up at the sky.

"This one is called Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. (I think I made you up inside my head)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red, And arbitrary blackness gallops in: I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane. (I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade: Exit seraphim and Satan's men: I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said, But I grow old and I forget your name. (I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead; At least when spring comes they roar back again. I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. (I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Arvin stared at you in awe. He had never felt feelings like this before. In the moments that you were reading to him everything felt right, as if you wrote the poem for him.

"Y/N that was absolutely beautiful," he gushed to you.

"Aww you don't mean that, now c'mon enough with all this gushy stuff. Its hot and i want to cool down with a swim."

"But we dont have our swimsuits and I thought skinny dippin was a third date activity miss," he was getting real cheeky now.

"Thats very true, but I wear undergarments, and those cover the same amount skin that a swimming suit do. Arvin, do you wear undergarments?" you asked as you started to unzip your skirt.

"You sure about this?" he wanted to go swimming with you more than anything but he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life Arvin." you were completely undressed, except the matching bra and panty set you were wearing. Arvin was awestricken with you. "Hurry up, I want to swim and your taking forever."

In record speed he took off his jeans and shirt, grabbing your hand and running into the water with you. You guys splashed in the water for a long time, well into the night. At some point you guys just floated, side by side holding hands. No one had ever made you feel the way Arvin did, like you mattered.

"Y/N your shivering, let get you dried off," he helped you onto the shore and wrapped a towel around and rubbed your shouders. "Heres the keys to the truck, you can changed in there. 'm gonna go into the woods to give you some privacy." he truly was the sweetest boy.

Once you both got changed and were sitting in the car, he asked you something you never thought he'd ask. "Will you dance with me? I can turn up the radio and we can dance outside." you nodded your head and lept out.

He took your right hand, in his left and wrapped your left arm around his waist. He placed his right hand low on your back yet high enough to still be respectful.

"Arvin, real talk and I want a real answer from you this time. Why did you ask me out tonight?"

"I asked you out because I've been infatuated with you, but i was never sure to liked me back so I started to flirt with you."

"What? We barely even spoke before today, how did you flirt with me?"

"I mean, I looked at you... sometimes you looked back."

"Arvin I don't know what to say, you could've talked to me."

"I wanted to, so badly Y/N its just that... I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about you because you deserve the whole world and I cant give it to you and people say I'm dangerous and I swear I'm not I just don't wan-"

you cut him off with a kiss. An earth shattering, mind blowing kiss. his lips were so soft and molded perfectly to yours, and he could taste the cherry chapstick you always wore. It lasted forever it felt like. When you both eventually pulled apart he rested his head against yours. "Woman if you keep doing that you're gonna kill me."

"I hate to ruin this absolutely perfect first date but, its past my curfew and I have to be home," disappointment clear in your voice. "All good things must come to an end eventually I suppose."

The whole way home, you didn't leave his side. He even walked you to your door and kissed you goodnight. "Can we go out again tomorrow, ya think?" he asked so hopeful you'd say yes.

"I would absolutely love to Mr. Russell but I don't know if my mom will let me after gettin in so late after I was supposed to be home. Give me your number and Ill call you tomorrow if I can."

He gave you his number and you two parted ways. He sat by the phone all weekend waiting for you to call, disappointment shattering his heart when you didn't. He found you by your locker first thing Monday morning at school.

"Hey, I figured that Id come say hi to you. Ya know, just make sure everythings still good between us?" He had never been this nervous in all his life.

"Yes of course everythings good between us why wouldnt it be?"

"Well you never called, and I got really worried. Why didnt you call?"

"My mom said I wasnt allowed to use the phone because I broke curfew. I promise you I would've called Arvin, I had the best time of my life on Friday. I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"Really, you want to go out with me again?"

"Well, yeah. Of course I do. There's still a second date we have to go on, before we get to the third." you winked at him as you shut your locker and turned around and walking in the opposite direction. Leaving him there, wondering what on Earth he just got himself into.

[inkskxtch]

Okay okay okay!! So I have a LOONG batim theory/idea I just wanna talk about for a bit since I’ve finally managed to organise my thoughts - I’ve seen it being discussed briefly by a few other people, but there’s one BIG detail people have been missing out that almost definitely connects and confirms the entire thing.

Spoilers for The Illusion Of Living!

-

So I’ll start from the start, where I first began thinking something was a little odd. In TIOL, Joey talks a bit about where he first met Sammy and Jack, when they were performing at an opening night party for a musical called Girl Crazy. Joey says he met them the night before his 30th birthday, which would mean the opening night was held in 1931 (since Joey was born in 1901).

WRONG! When I first read this part of the book I was curious to see if the musical was a real one, and it is! The thing that I didn’t understand though was that the musical was actually released in 1930, not 1931 like Joey says it was. I thought surely that was an error, right? NO IT WASNT!!! LET ME EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!

(It also means that supposedly, Joey’s canon birthday is October 15th, because opening night for Girl Crazy was October 14th! But that’s not too important, and not a big part of the theory.)

The same night Joey meets Sammy & Jack, Sammy insists Joey takes them to see the studio and show them one of JDS’s short films. When he does, Sammy tells Joey he needs more female characters since at this point it’s only really Bendy, Boris, perhaps the Butcher Gang (though it might’ve been a bit early for them still), and random male one-time side characters.

Later in the autobiography, Joey talks more about how what Sammy said inspired him to create Alice Angel, after Henry had left so he had no input on the character and we can only really credit him for the creation of Bendy & Boris, despite what Joey says.

Now here’s where it gets fun!!! Sammy and Jack being hired in 1931 means they likely never met Henry, so Sammy’s whole “you look familiar to me!” line from Chapter 2’s ritual can only really be chalked up to Sammy being the one moving the cutouts and disappearing through the walls as usual throughout Chapter 1.

BUT!!!!!! BUT BUT BUT!!!!!!!!

A common theme throughout TIOL is that Joey is both an unreliable narrator AND a huge liar, so there’s a lot of information throughout the story that can be proven false pretty easily, like Henry not being the one behind Bendy etc. Since we know for sure that Sammy and Jack were hired in 1930 and not a year later, there’s a much higher chance they did have an opportunity to meet with Henry, and while I doubt Henry attended the opening night party, being the co-founder of the studio he definitely would’ve met them if they were employed while he was still working.

No doubt that upon meeting Henry, Sammy would’ve relayed his whole “not enough women” piece to him as the lead cartoonist. Henry definitely would’ve taken that criticism, and the two probably shared ideas around since she was going to be a very musical character, singing and whatnot.

BUT...there’s still more! What about Susie, you ask? I WILL EXPLAIN!!

When I tell y’all this franchise is ALL I think about im not kidding 😭

If we listen to Susie’s BATDR reveal tape, she says her and Sammy had been talking about a new character they were working on upstairs that she was most likely going to be given the role of. It’s pretty clear she’s talking about Alice Angel, since we know Susie was working as a voice actress for all kinds of random background characters before she got lucky with the role of Alice.

But wasn’t that audio log from Susie dated 1932, though? Wasn’t the original concept for Alice created around 1930? Yes and yes, sort of. Now this part is partially just a headcanon, but I do have something pretty definite to back me up here that I’ll get to soon. I reckon Henry designed Alice pretty early on in 1930 and Joey didn’t actually put the character to use until Henry was long gone, and Joey could take the character and make her more into what he would’ve wanted (and when he would’ve had a voice actress readily available).

Now here’s what I’m using to back myself up on that! In Dreams Come To Life, Norman says this and I’ll quote from the book:

Buddy: “He [Henry] created the big three, didn’t he?”

Norman: “Bendy and Boris. Even Alice, though they didn’t start featuring her until after Henry left.”

So my idea is pretty much correct, that while Alice was designed and given a basic character concept pretty early on while Henry still worked at the studio, she wasn’t shown in comics or cartoons until after Henry had left. I also hold the firm belief that in Henry’s hidden tape in Chapter 3, where he talks about how he’s working on a new character he thinks people are going to love, I definitely think he’s talking about Alice. Otherwise, why would it be found in the chapter focused around introducing her as a villain?

-

There’s not really a big end to this theory, but I just thought it’d be worth bringing it up to tie up any loose ends and conclude that Henry is almost definitely responsible for all 3 of the original characters, including Alice.

Joey is a big liar and so so dumb but by god did I enjoy how he was written, and TIOL as a whole

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Why isnt Amity Park a famous tourist town?

Its only a few people who notice at first. Those few people arent anything special but they all have one thing in  common. They all have family outside of Amity Park who visit more than once a year. It isnt until the holiday season do others start to notice. Their families are having trouble with finding the town. These families have been visiting for years and even with the GPS they’re still getting lost. If they dont actually follow someone who lives in Amity Park to the town they cant seem to find it. They keep missing their Exit or the GPS activity takes them to the closest building outside the town and then starts rerouting them as if they missed a turn.

Once the people who live in the town getting to thinking about they start to realise but the outside world doesnt think about them at all. “Aunt Carol used to call me every month but thinking back i had to call her last year and she never actually started the call?” “My online friends dont message me nearly as much as they did last year!” “Im havent gotten one email from when i was looking for jobs in Iowa.” Small thinks people didnt notice but started adding up. No one outside of the town had even thought about anything Amity Park related. It wasnt like Grandma suddenly didnt care about her sweet little her sweet little grandnabies. No they just never crossed her mind. Which was od for a lot of people to accept at first, but the more people thought about it the more and more they started to think something was wrong with the town and not the people who love them. One person said it and the idea spread like tumbleweeds. Everyone who heard it left the idea growing wherever they went.

The idea that so many people shared now was that once Amity Park went into the ghost zone and back it changed how the world interacted with it. It was the only thing that the people could come up with as to why no one outside its limits even had the place cross their minds. Sure some people came up with crazy ideas about the government trying to eradicate Amity Park but once you spoke with someone outside the town about Amity it was clear that wasnt the case. The only event that the people could link close to what they think is “the shift” is when they went to the ghost zone. So they accept it. Rather easily too. Family and friends from outside the town try to get some to move, fearful of completely forgetting their loved ones. But this is their home, this is where their life is. They arent going anywhere just because Uncle Jack needs someone to pick him up outside city limits. No they will stay and live on here. Its not like they noticed the change until they had to show people how to get into town.

The real reason no one thinks of Amity Park isnt because the little field trip to the Zone the city made. No it all started when Danny Became a ghost. No one noticed because he was still a weaker ghost. One his power grew so did the size of his lair. His obsession grew bigger and bigger as he started protecting not just his friends, but his family, his school, and soon his whole town. It stopped at the town once they went to the Zone though. Had that not happened it would have kept growing with each place he protected people in. Once it went to the zone it was like Amity became a real lair. Unlike most ghost lairs which are based off some place in the living world, Dannys was the same place in both the living world and the ghost. The people are apart of it now too. The true reason none of them want to leave isnt because they like it their. No part of them deep down is attached to the town. They are a piece of Dannys lair and since his obsession is keeping them safe they stay.

Oof thats a long one. Honestly this could go either way too. Like since lairs probably change based on how their hosts state is. If danny doesnt age then neither do the people of amity. Just a small town of people who dont realise “till danny does which takes a hella long time” they arent ageing.

Or on the same level once Danny dies so does everyone else. And the lair disappears causing a whole city to go with it. Once the veil drops over the rest of the world everyone is freaking out about a town up and vanishing over night. People can think about Amity again just in time to find out all of its gone. Everyones gone.

[kaz11283]

Only One God For Me

(Part 2 of Love Never Wins)

SUMMARY: After blowing up at him afyer weeks of hiding out you challenge Loki to hand to hand. Blowing up might have been the best thing, it could help you let off that frustration you had built up.

Characters: Nat, Clint, Thor, Loki, avengers on the side line.

(Loki x you, clint x you, Thor x you, Nat x you)

ANNOUNCEMENT: I didnt know how much part 1 was going to be but I am forever greatful in this amazing community! Thank you guys SO much! Check out my other stuff too if you like this. As always reblog, ask, comment, and like! After I finish up here I'll be back to writing for Fire and Ice. Thank you again so SO much for everything! 💚💚💚

Loki Master List

~~~~

You and Nat were standing at one end of the training area as Loki walked in. You glanced up from Nat wrapping your hands and noticed he was wearing his normal traing gear. Plain leather black pants with a dark green Henley, his hands already wrapped.

"Focus, your getting distracted." She said yanking on one of the straps.

"Ow. I cant help it Nat, we went from cant keep our hands away from each other to literally fist fighting each other. Ya know this is normally frowned upon is normal society." You streched your fingers out and balled them back up streching out the gloves a little.

"Hunny, even in a perfect world were anything but normal. I mean for god sakes your fighting a literal god. You remember what I taught you. Right?" She asked looking almost terrified for me.

"Yes mother, I havent forgotten. This is gonna be a piece of cake." Inside you were freaking out. You normally was in a very high spot with your bow or normally trying to break into the computers. You wasnt normally in hand to hand combat, but you were smarter than to think you would never need it.

You turned shaking you head and putting the mouth piece in your mouth. Hitting you fist together jumping back and forth getting ready. Loki just stood there smirking. You was gonna smack that smirk off his face.

"Hey sis, Im not saying you cant beat him just be careful. He throws a nasty left hook." Clint said munching on some chips."Thanks, Hawk. Mind explaining why the rest of the team is here?" You mumbled around the mouth piece.

"Thor, definitely Thor." He said walking back to the small group that gathered.

"Sweetheart. Are we gonna fight or are you just gonna stand there chit chatting?" He called across the mat.

"I'm coming." You walked across the mat to the center. Someone hit a bell signaling for the fight to start and he jumped toward you. You dodged his first attemped and circled him slowly. You could read his every move, read where he was going next.

You took a defence stance that Nat had taught you from your training before he lunged again. This time you managed to upper cut him in the side knocking some of the wind from him.

"Oh you little minx. I figured I would take it easy on you but we can play your way also." This time he took a step back centering himself. Looking up you noticed he had a dangerous look in his eye.

"I didnt invite you here to take it easy on me, I invited you because you dont take anything serious. Because if someone like me can beat you in hand to hand then anyone can." You stepped closer to him gauging what move you was going to make next.

He dropped down to the mat attempting to sweep your legs out from under you, he missed one but caught the other causing you to fall. He jumped on top of you pinning your hands above your head. "Now this positions brings back memories." He whispered to you causing your face to turn bring red. You brought your leg up able to wrap it around his waist and slammed him back down to the mat gaining some advantage.

"This one also." He smirked. You raised your fist above you aiming for his face. Whem you brought it down he moved his head causing you to miss. It felt like forever that you were both on the mat neither one gaining aginst the other. A busted lip here a bloody nose there. When the bell rang for a break Nat was in your corner with Clint offering you some water and a rag ti wipe the blood off.

"Sis, I'm try in real hard not to grab an arrow and stabe him with it." Clint said from one side. You could see anger in his eyes.

"Hawk, its fine. Given the circumstance its all good. Its just training in a matter of speaking. Anger is mostly wunning but I got this. I was trained by the best. I'm not even tired." You took another drink of water before going back out to the mat.

"This is fun. I have never seen my brother trying harder to win anything in his life." Thor shouted across the room. "Lady y/n is quite good at sparing. We must fight sometime." Thor laughed.

A few more rounds when and you could feel the weight of the afternoon but you wasjt about to simply throw in the towel just yet. You knew you could get the best of him. You had thrown him back on the mat then he took his feet placing them on your chest shoving you off of him. Before you knew it you were surrounded by multipuls of him.

"Loki we agreed no sedair! This is cheating!" You yelled at them.

"God of Mischief and lies sweetheart. Besides we're in weird predicaments all the time. You said so yourself. Tell you what. You find the real me and I'll forfeit." One of the clones said. You stood up in the middle of them all focusing everything you had on concentrating, ignoring Clint yelling in the background and the rest of the group shouting.

You opened your eyes zeroing in on one closest to you and walked up to him.

"Are you sure your right about this decision?" It mocked.

"Yeah. I think I am." You brought the ball of yoyr fist up crashing it into Loki's nose. The rest of the clones disappered as he fell to his knees in front of you. "You are a complete and utter asshole Loki Odinson. I hope that it messes with you for a while that you got beat by a mortal." You started unwrapping your gloves as you walked away.

Over the next few weeks you avoided every living space in the tower that you knew he would be in. It had truly hurt you that he had cheated during the fight. You still couldnt understand how just months before you couldn't keep your hands off of each other now you were both avoiding each other like the plague.

"Miss y/n. Team has a mission. Tony wants everyone in the confrence room dressed and ready in 15 minutes." JARVIS called pausing your movie. With a roll of your eyes you walked to your bedroom to start getting ready. Pulling out your tight skinny jeans a black tank top and your zip up hoodie you French braided your hair and grabbed your bow case before heading down.

The rest of the team was gathered when you walked in and placed your case on the table opening it up to make sure everything was right. Streching out the strings and making sure the sights were spot on aiming them to the other side of the room where Loki stood.

"It would be more effecitve if you had an arrow." Clint whispered next to you.

"Shut up, I'm just making sure everything is right." You put it back down in the case and started going over your arrows.

"You realize we have a place you can put that when your not using it." Tony said walking around you.

"Right up your ass if you suggest that again." You laughed putting everything back up.

"Love the enthusiasm kid." Tony laughed walking to the front of the table.

"Ok Team, going to be a long few days for us. Just got some Intel about a caravan carrying some explosives across the Scandinavian border. Gonna have to divide into teams for this one. Hawk, Nat, Strange, Rodgers, Bruce, and Thor you'll be starting at the meeting point and working your way toward us. The rest is with me." Tony pulled a map up on the big screen showing where you wwre going.

"Oh come on, why cant I be with the A team?" You asked with a groan.

"Sorry kid, gotta divide it up right. One god for each, one Archer. Only fair. And even if you two hate each other you guys work good together." Tony shrugged.

"Yeah sorry kid." Clint laughed.

"Hey I'm a full three minutes older that you. Probably explains why I'm better. Whatever. I'll go pack my stuff." You huffed standing up.

The next two hours seems to drag by, it was freezing here. You was just ready to get this over with so that you could go back home and relax in a nice warm bath, you pulled your jacket tighter aginst you.

"I've told you many times that you should start wearing the uniform that they gave you. You'll freeze to death one day." Loki said taking off his cloak and putting it around your shoulders.

"Thanks, but I'm still pissed at you." You hugged it closer. "I hate the whole uniform thing. To tight to revealing."

Another few minutes pass before Tony gives everyone the heads up that your about to be over the caravan. Figuring you were warm enough you took the cloak off and handed it back to him. "You may still be pissed at me but I do still care very deeply for you y/n. I was an idiot for everything." He took it and wrapped it around his shoulders. When his fingers grazed yours there was a surge that went through you.

"Give me time. You really hurt me, not just by breaking up with me but by lying to me during training. Good luck out there God of Mischief."

"Tony, your gonna have to get lower i cant get a clear shot on the driver!" You yelled over the wind whipping around your face. About that time a diffrent arrow shot through gettkng the driver in the side causing the vehicle to completly stop.

"Gotta be faster than that sis. One for me." Clint laughed over the com.

"You are my least favorite person right now Hawk." You mumbled. Tony brought the Quinn Jet down so your team could spread out.

"That is truly saying something my dear." Lokis smooth voice said in your ear.

"You gave me your cloak to keep me warm. Gave you a fell points." You pulled back again and shot it through the truck behind the first hitting the driver in the head. "Got one, Hawk, your next."

"Can we cut the chatter. Got alot going on in the sky at the moment." Tony said. Youbcould here something firing above you looking up you could see Tony being followed by a jet firing at him. "Need some back up guys. Twins. Anyone."

"Hawk. I need a Boom Boom stick." You met him in the middle of the road.

"I really wish you wouldnt call them that." He said handing you one. You both pulled your bows back and aimed. "Heads or tails?"

"I like the tails." You let go of the sting and watched as the jet exploded.

"I think she can call them whatever she wants as long as she keeps doing a good job keeping bogies off my ass." Tony yelled over the coms.

"I hate this. I cant see shit down here." You yelled over to Clint. "I gotta get higher." You looked around eyeballing the turnes over truck. You threw the bow across your back and started climbing up the truck. Shots rang around you one grazing your side, before it had started it was like it stopped looking behind you you noticed Loki with his daggers in his hands.

"You need to pay more attention y/n." He scolded you.

"Why pay attention when I have someone keeping an eye out for me." You smiled.

"Oh darling Im doing more than just keeping an eye out." After everything that ass had done to you he was flirting FLIRTING with you.

"Y/N! No. More. Gods." Clint yelled. From here you could see everything going on. Nat fighting two men, you took one out easily from your spot. She shot you a thumbs up. Bruce had hulked out throwing things everywhere, multiple times you had to dodge something flying your way. The fight was almost over when you glanced behind you noticing four men backing Loki aginst a turned over car.

His hands were up as if in surrender. "Loki why arent you using your sedair?" You mumbled pulling the bow back.

"Well darling you could say that I am in on of those weird predicaments. I've exahusted alot of my power down here." His back was aginst the truck now.

"Could let him get beat up." Clint pipped in as you shot one of your last arrows though two of the guys standing there. You watched Loki easily take out the other two.

"Told you Hawk, I'm not like that." You smiled walking over to Loki. "Although you could use a little practice in hand to hand, dont you agree?"

"Only if your the one practicing with me he smailed down at you.

"Ugh! Y/n! No mo-" Clint started before you pulled the com from your ear.

"Only one God for me." You leaned up kissing Loki on the cheek.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

[ofcowardiceandkings]

I think you mentioned listening to podcasts? Do you have any favorites to reccommend? I've run out of content :(

that i do !

im not entirely sure what kind of podcast you'd be interested in but i'll throw out a few of the goodies in my huge library of stuff , i'll miss out a few of the HUGE podcasts that have been all over tumblr though

a LOT of it is true crime or human interest stuff , or history because im nerd ,, and a few of these dont have nearly enough attention so [shrug] i'll try to keep this short i guess lol this isnt EVERYTHING ive got in my library or listened series' by any measure

i AM gonna pop a shout to both Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff You Should Know from iHeartRadio because their HUGE archives have kept me from losing my mind many times over , and they cover a wide range of both important and wacky topics

BomBARDed (ongoing) this is the only fiction podcast i have happening right now really but its DAMN GOOD ONE .... it's an actual-play D&D 5E podcast in the DMs own musically-inspired world, focussed on a group of multiclass bards going to music school !! and all players (+DM) are members of the Texas band Lindby !! and they actually use and play music in the show with one original song an episode !! Kyle's worldbuilding and storycraft are truly incredible, and (Nick) Goodrich, (also Nick) Spurrier, and Ali's characters are in depth and interesting as well as an absolute powerhouse :') i actually made a piece for its first fanzine, Bardic Dreaming, which published earlier this year and is free to view now, all the players and the community are super wholesome its just very good overall 💙

History & Humans;

Fall of Civilisations (ongoing) legit one of my favourite podcast finds, im so glad my youtube autoplayed one of these ... it took me like 2 hours to realise it was 1) not the same as what was playing before and 2) had been on for 2 hours and wasnt near finished lmao. anyway, this is a series by historical fiction writer Paul Cooper, and is honest to all thats good one of the best documentary series ive encountered in years - and ive consumed a LOT of documentaries. it covered the downfall of various civilisations through history, and the episodes run from an hour to FOUR hours depending on the topic. its so chill to listen to and just get done, but over the pandemic all of the episodes have been given full movie-quality video versions too on youtube if youre more of a visual person.

Casting Lots: A Survival Cannibalism Podcast (on series break) yeah that says that lol ... its a SUPER niche topic but its very interesting and treated very well despite being kind of comical at times, the hosts are just naturally funny lol ... it delves around from the history of cannibalism in whole regions to specific incidents as recently as the 1970s, and of course the first episode is about the Donner Party, and it covers things ive never heard of despite being kind of important ?? anyway Alix and Carmella are good eggs

Sawbones (ongoing) i probably dont need to mention much here other than say that Justin and Sydnee saved me from being SO BORED sooo often, the history of medicine is wacky as hell and its what most of my history GCSE was on so [shrugs]

Cautionary Tales (on series break) this was a wild-card find lol ... it's by Tim Harford "the undercover economist" who writes for the Financial Times, and its topics kind of weave modern topics and science with how to learn from historical errors ... its a bit weird but well worth a go, also each series has a few celebrity guest voice actors which is pretty awesome

Ephemeral (ongoing) this is a very strange but thought provoking series about sounds and other things just barely saved. topics include the last castrato, the hello girls, hand-stamped records, the spread of kīkā kila music, and acoustic fossils of wild places.

Neat! The Boozecast (ongoing) history and bartending whats not to like lol ... hosted by Teylor Smirl and now their dad Tommy, they're just digging around in how important booze is to human culture

True Crime (white collar and weirdness);

Swindled (ongoing) this is an amazing show full stop. A Concerned Citizen details some of the most impactful and unruly things to happen in white collar and corporate crime. very factually accurate but given the sheer bullshit of the topics the deadpan snarking is [chefs kiss] absolutely warranted ..

American Scandal (on series break) this one is a series within a series type, and spends a few episodes at a time poking holes in some of America's biggest scandals, from a dramatised but fact-based point of view. such as what the hell was going on with Enron, how big tobacco was forced to own up to covering its own ass, how Iran-Contra happened, etc. it also now has a sister show called British Scandal, which does the same thing for British cases but with a slightly different format.

Missing in Alaska (finished) this was a fascinating series, a deep dive into what happened to two US government officials who disappeared on a small chartered flight in Alaska in 1972. it goes some really strange places, but it actually turned up a lot of previously unknown information through the audience. John Walczak's new series in a new feed is Missing on 9/11 which looks into what happened to Dr Sneha Philip.

Pretend (ongoing) Host Javier Leiva holds interviews with anyone living a lie, or who have been touched by them. con artists, snake oil salesmen, former cult members, catfishing victims, anyone and everyone.

Power: The Maxwells (finished) hosted by journalist Tara Palmeri, the story of media tycoon Robert Maxwell from nothing to empire to mysterious death and the scandals uncovered after he was gone.

Lets Talk About Sects (ongoing) Sarah Steele covering cults from around the world, in particular those in Australia - where she is from. She often has former members on the show to share their stories, and share knowledge of how they left. each story has the relevant content warnings at the start of each episode.

Brainwashed (finished) investigation of the CIA's covert mind control experiments, centred on the experiments performed at a hospital in Montreal, and its cultural impact.

Dr Death (2 series finished) two series investigating huge cases of fraud and medical malpractice, and how they were brought to a stop. series 1 covers Dr Duntsch and his horribly butchered neurosurgery, series 2 covers Dr Fata and his fraudulent cancer clinic

The Immaculate Deception (finished) untangling the weird and disturbing fertility fraud of Dr Jan Karbaat, who fathered children himself through his fertility clinic, and the impact of his deception. later episodes also touch on other similar cases.

True Crime (Violent/General);

The Casual Criminalist (ongoing) Simon Whistler of-the-many-youtube-channels cold reads a script about the case of the day, with some of his daft commentary thrown in.

Southern Fried True Crime (ongoing) Crimes from the American South hosted by Erica Kelley, she puts all the facts out there but refreshingly for true crime she doesnt hesitate to tell you if she thinks someone is human garbage lol

They Walk Among Us (ongoing) probably one of the most popular UK crime podcasts, very measured and well put together, not weird or annoying about it either.

All Crime No Cattle (ongoing, feed slowed down for now) specifically about crimes from Texas, hosted by Erin and Shay, they're very sensitive hosts and a lot of the cases they cover shed light on why the Texas criminal system is how it is or show an impact at a national level

Canadian True Crime (ongoing) Canadian crime from an Aussie who's lived there for a decade, Kristi is again a sensitive and measured host covering some important topics

True Crime (Violent/Deep Dive);

Hitman (finished) journalist Jasmyn Morris digs around in the sticky tangle around a book published by fringe publisher Paladin Press, and its apparent use as a blueprint in the killing of a mother, her friend and her 8 year old boy for financial gain.

Camp Hell: Anneewakee (ongoing) this series is exploring how a wilderness camp "correctional facility" was endorsed by the Georgia care and juvenile reform system, despite widespread abuses and shady practices the whole time. warning for csa and child cruelty throughout.

True Crime Bullshit (on series break) this one is a huge huge rabbithole but a very interesting one where the host Josh Hallmark has spent years digging into the life and potential crimes of Israel Keyes. Keyes is often mentioned as a serial killer with no pattern, but in picking it apart thats not quite true, and has sparked some re-evaluations of missing persons cases and stumbling upon information the FBI has redacted organically. there's also a series in the middle looking into the crimes of Kelly Cochran

Forgotten: Women of Juárez (finished) this series looks into the huge numbers of missing women of Ciudad Juárez, the strange circumstances surrounding them, and the potential cover-ups and corruptions on both sides of the border, trying to give a voice to all of the forgotten women and girls and their families without answers. the series itself is finished, but a spanish language edition is being released every week now.

aaaaaand i'll call it there before i list everything lol, i hope you find something to plug your boredom hole with !!

[kaitosimp]

As a filthy, filthy multi shipper I’d like to know both headcannons you have for all his pairings and why you like them so much, if you want to of course!

As soon as I read this, my mind started ranting so hard 😂 I will happily answer! And tysm for asking bc if being able to talk about kaito is rare, imagine how much ive talked about the ships i have with him, so im very happy rn!! 🥰 WARNING: dis gonna be long as hell 👁👄👁

OKAY SO the two main ships I have for Kaito are Oumota and Saimota, Saimota is my fave ship and Oumota is my fave comfort ship! The other ships I rlly like with him are Akamota, Amamota, and Momoharu, i pretty much read any fic that has him paired with someone but these are the ones i search for on my own whereas the others its a "i'll read 'em if i come across em" type of deal! So lets dive in 👁👄👁 (i have endless hc's for my ships so i'll only give a few or else this'll never end)

🌌🎭 Oumota 🎭🌌

Reasons: I am a goddamn sucker for thematic parallels, enemies to friends to lovers, and the rivals tropes 🌚 I dont even know how i fell into the oumota hole, cause i didnt consider it much in game, but after reading a few fics it just made me so happy! I love their banter and clashing personalities and stubborness lol, and goddamn, the post game/hangar fics for them are *chef's kiss*

Hc's:

-The way Kokichi tried to get Kaito to see he had feelings for him was by bothering/pranking the absolute shit out of him, but Kaito's dense to these things so he didnt even realize Kokichi stopped bothering other ppl to target him specifically

-When Kaito realized he had feelings for Kokichi, his initial reaction was "oh fuck oh no why him pls no-"

-Eventually Kokichi had to directly tell him to his face he liked Kaito cause Kaito wasn't getting the message at all

-Kokichi loves stealing Kaito's clothes, esp his jacket

-They argue a lot but its over the absolute dumbest shit like before they got together, its usually nothing serious

-Kokichi secretly loves listening to Kaito talk about space, though he teases Kaito about it

-Kaito's fave thing is to cuddle/spoon Kokichi, cause he's the perf size to snuggle with

🌌🔍 Saimota 🔍🌌

Reasons: CAUSE YES!!! From the beggining of Shuichi being the main, Kaito is there for him and supports him so much and makes sure Shuichi is okay, he's just so supportive and loving and helpful and motivational and he's something Shuichi def needed to move forward in the killing game! I just fucking love their dynamic and how they help each other and how they balance each other out as well, plus the whole hero and sidekick thing is adorable! AND OFC THE FAMOUS "i shouldnt be talking about another boy like that" LINE ASDFGHJKL ITS CANON OKAY

Hc's:

-Shuichi confessed first, it took a few times for him to get his feelings across properly bc each time he said something like "i like you" or whatev kaito was like "aw bro i like you too!"

-Kaito tried to get over his crush on Shuichi bc he thought Shuichi wouldn't go for someone like him (i hc him being kinda insecure and covering it up with that confident persona of his)

-Shuichi isn't big on physical contact, but he makes the exception for Kaito bc he's always so warm and gives the best hugs

-Shuichi is the only person who Kaito lets see him vulnerable, it took a lot of time but he eventually learned to stop bottling everything with Shuichi

-Kaito constantly takes Shuichi stargazing, its his fave thing to do and Shuichi is ever so happy to accompany Kaito and listen to space rambles

-Their first kiss was beyond awkward and Shuichi nearly fainted but they got the hang of it eventually

🌌🥑 Amamota 🥑🌌

Reasons: I literally saw an amamota fic on ao3 and it won me over oops- to me it just makes sense! They're both adventurers in a way and i love their personalities together, Kaito's boisterous nature would be a nice change of pace for the ever calm Rantaro and Rantaro's mellow nature would be something refreshing for Kaito y'know?

Hc's:

-Kaito always tried helping Rantaro catch up in classes bc he always misses 'em to travel and he was always the first one to welcome him back

-Rantaro got attached to Kaito and didnt even realize it until he came back one day and kaito wasnt there to greet him (cue disappointed rantaro and bAM thats when he realized)

-Kaito loves hearing about Rantaro's travels, he's always asking for pics and details

-Kaito confessed first, he literally couldn't take it anymore and just threw it out there while Rantaro was mid greeting

-Rantaro didn't tell Kaito about his sisters until about a year into their relationship bc he was scared Kaito would disappear too

-Rantaro literally re-visited a bunch of islands and countries in the artic circle just to take pics/vids of the aurora borealis for Kaito

🌌🎹 Akamota 🎹🌌

Reason: I just think they'd be sooo cute together 🥺 Kaito and Kaede are both positive people who try to help others and their personalities fit so well together! Idk man it just makes sense to me

Hc's:

-Kaito absolutely loves hearing Kaede play the piano, sometimes he'll sneak record her so he can listen to it whenever he's feeling down

-Kaede tries teaching him how to play the piano, instruments aren't his thing but he tries his best in the lessons cause it makes her happy

-Kaito's confession was accidental, he was just listening to her play when he blurted out how pretty she was, which led to an awkward confession talk with lots of blushing

-Kaede has tried to compose a piano piece that embodies Kaito's personality but she fails everytime, cause his larger than life personality is hard to capture perfectly

-They're both big on affection, so they're constantly holding hands and hugging

AND FINALLY, 🌌🔪 Momoharu 🔪🌌

Reason: THEY'RE GREAT TOGETHER OKAY 🥺 I just love how Kaito got Maki to come out of her shell and how he trusted her/accepted her!! He gave her the cutest nickname and befriended her and literally gave his life up to protect her, aND MAKI'S CONFESSION ABOUT FALLING FOR KAITO STILL MAKES ME CRY

Hc's:

-Maki confessed it ever so casually while mid training, which literally made Kaito fall over in shock

-Kaito loves Maki's hair, he could spend hours playing with it and he always helps her brush it

-Maki hates her scars, but Kaito's always there to kiss em and remind her how beautiful she is, he always traces constellations on 'em when they cuddle

-Maki's constantly scared she'll accidentally hurt Kaito, or that he'll get hurt bc of her past

-Kaito's very protective of her, just like Maki is of him

-Maki loves the sound of Kaito's voice, her favorite thing is to listen to him talk about space

W O W i am so sorry for this massive post 💀 I seriously tried limiting myself asdfghjkl oops

[thedaysdiary]

i guess its easier to just write here than anywhere else honestly. I don't use my phones notes as much as i should but my phones shit so why would i?  Half the time i barely even think about writing, which sucks because i used to be all about it. Feels like something sucked the life out of me creatively piece by piece. I used to be more involved in music mentally but now it just seems more money focused and less fun which sucks to me. I miss that old feeling. I'm doing  a lot more than i used to though which is cool to me tbh but i still feel a deep void and i cant even tell you why honestly, its so strange when i sit and think about it because its mostly deep rooted in whatever failed attempt i had at not being alone mentally or physically.  Its a frustrating process. My brain hates my body i guess or my entire sense of self. shit is damaging. Lately everything has just been one big blur, back to back blur. No type of standstill, no breather, just a blur mentally and i just go on and on and on. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing good for myself, I'm still alive which I'm not sure i am happy about but i guess I'm proud. I got a good job and a lot of gigs happening which can jumpstart a whole lotta shit but i still feel lost about it all. Im not even sure why I'm still on this earth. What is my actual purpose as a human. 

WHY WONT THESE VOICES STOP TALKING TO ME WHEN I JUST WANT TO THINK IN PEACE. I just wanna sleep sometimes too but i am just stuck in this perpetual hell. The quieter it gets around me the louder they get and im annoyed. I don't want a constant team in my fucking head all the time, i feel like im judged by a complete fucking council in my mind and its fucking DRAINING. WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS?? WHY CANT I JUST FEEL NORMAL FOR ONCE

WHAT THE FUCK IS NORMAL? WHY IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING, WHY WAS I NEVER PREPARED FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS? WHY WASNT I INFORMED?? WHY DID THIS SHIT HIT ME IN MY DEVELOPMENT YEARS LIKE A BRICK TO THE FUCKING FACE NOW IM STUCK TRYING TO KEEP MYSEF TOGETHER, KEEP A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM WITHOUT DRIVING PEOPLE AWAY FROM ME, TRYING TO STAY SOBER, TRYING TO STAY ALIVE, TRYING TO DO THIS LIFE BULLSHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF ALL THIS. I FEEL SO FUCKING ALONE AND I DONT WANT ANYONE AROUND WHAT TYPE OF SHIT IS THAT? I FORGOT HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE, I CANT MEET ANYONE NEW, IM JUST STUCK. MAYBE IM JUST BITCHING BUT I HAVE NO ONE TO BITCH TO, SO HERE I AM, ON MY OLD TUMBLR FROM HIGH SCHOOL  IN MY LATE 20S STILL TRYING TO MAKE IT WITHOUT BLOWING MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT

Here's to Curt from 2012, you were a good man with good intentions but you executed poorly because you dreamt too much instead of actually doing shit properly, you let drugs fuck you up because you were depressed, you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't have made it past the first two OD’s but you beat those odds and now we almost 30, congrats my nigga, congrats, WE made it to 30 almost with no kids, no unnecessary marriages, no STD’s, HIV, OR AIDS, so good for you. you are still here, and you are still trying to figure it out, go you. But guess what....

You're still alone, and you probably will die alone, 

Accept it, embrace it, learn from it.

it is what it is.